 What comes to your mind when you meet people for the first time? Do you think they're intelligent? Annoying? Funny? Neat? Slave? Or cheeky? The least can go on endlessly. How people perceive others plays a very big role in subsequent interactions with the person. If you made a very good first impression, the person will make excuses for your lapses subsequently and maintain the first impression as your mental image of you. You therefore have to make a good impression to stand out. This is usually more so in instances where you have to try and impress your audience to be considered for a role. In today's video, I'm going to share with you 13 things that destroy a first impression immediately. 1. This regard for others. It is interesting to find people in networking events who think others have nothing or very little to offer them. The seat in the corner, feeling aloof and calmly ignore greetings from people they think don't meet their standards for conversation. Granted, there may be high flyers and top consulting or investment organizations, but then networks help people expand beyond their current area of influence. People who treat people this way will likely not have many friends. They may also earn a reputation for being rude. When that happens, a lot of people will naturally avoid them. When the need help, they may not find a lot of their professional colleagues willing to help. 2. A weak handshake. A handshake says a lot about you. If you don't do it right, people can get the wrong impression about you. A string handshake says to the other party that you are confident, trustworthy, driven and prepared. You need to make eye contact and smile too. It is like an art. People who shake and let go too soon may be seen as rude. While those who linger may be seen as desperate, you have to learn to get your handshakes right. A weak handshake may convey the impression that you are weak-spirited and may not possess the capacity to function efficiently in a role you are applying for. It may also tell people you meet at a networking event that you are unreliable. 3. Appearing to try too hard. People who do this can often be spotted in networking events. They wear suits that may be too tight for their frame and hold their glasses in an awkward manner. They also seem to greet everyone and get to speak to no one. In an interview, such a person will appear very pream and proper but sound rehearsed. Interviews that go that way are usually very dry and give the HR zero reason to remember the candidate. But where the candidate is themselves, even if they don't appear pream and proper, they may still convey a good strong impression. Everyone knows job hunting can be draining. Someone coming into an interview with a good chair cracking jokes to lighten the tension and answering the questions they are posed honestly may stand a pretty high chance of getting the job. 4. Smiling a fake smile. For some reason, people can tell when a smile is fake and when it isn't. If you think you're supposed to smile in certain situations, you're probably right. But giving off a fake smile can convey the impression that you are a fake person. If you're not feeling happy, don't smile. People prefer real people anytime, any day. Keep a straight face and greet people if you can. You may be surprised, someone might actually come forward to find out what the trouble is. Some people are that nice. Don't give up a fake smile if you can help it. 5. Speaking more than you listen. People like to speak and they also like to be listened to. If you want to make a super first impression, listen more than you speak. If you speak more than you listen, you may lose the attention of your listener. You may also end up ruining your first impression. The person you have spoken to may assume you are a chatterbox and want to give you space. In extreme cases, they may also think you have low emotional intelligence. This is because people with high emotional intelligence listen more than they speak. Sometimes people speak but do not want you to respond. They just want you to listen. You can tell from their body language. Once people who are this way notice this about you, they can give you space. 6. Filling to make engaging conversation. A great skill to have is the skill of making good conversation. Once you possess this skill, you can relate to anyone at all with ease. People who can't do this on the first meeting give the impression that they are not good with people. People reason that if they are not, they are not likely to get along very well with others. If you were to meet a senior executive for the first time, try and read up their profile and their work so that you can talk about things they can relate with. Once you start doing this, you can literally see the difference in how you relate with them. Going forward. 7. Dressing badly. Nobody wants to be dressed as one of the waiters to a cocktail they are invited to. That is perhaps why some people reject invitations. It is better to rant a talk than to wear your father's 10-year-old suit to a wedding. You can come in looking like an old character from the Harry Porter and you will not like the experience. If your plans were to meet a girl, she might not even want to talk to you, who would automatically assume you are poor or struggling even if you are not. 8. Not remembering people's names. If you just met someone and introduced yourself and heard their name and forget their name two minutes later, you may pass off the impression that you don't value them. If they were important, you would remember their name. No one likes people who they feel are condescending. If you don't recall someone's name, keep it to yourself if you want to ask them something. It is better to meet them subsequently and appear not to recall their name than to meet them a few minutes after they just told you and ask them for their name again. 9. Being late. If you are late for a meeting, you would have given the impression to someone you are meeting for the first time that you are unserious. You can't afford to be late, especially an interview. They can give the slots to someone else even if you are the most qualified. They can't trust you to show up on time if you start from the recruitment stage to show that you would frequently be late to work. 10. Eating too quickly. If you are not at an official dinner or party, try not to rush your food. They would usually have sets of cutleries there for your use. Do not race to meet with your hand like a caveman. Use your cutleries and avoid eating your favorite dish if you can. Eating too fast can give the impression that you seldom have access to things of this nature. It can also say that you are unrefined to the elite class. Don't outrightly refuse to eat because that would be rude to your host. Just don't eat too much. Never demand a second helping even if you are not full. 11. Complaining. We perceive complaining as negative energy. We subconsciously avoid such people so as to retain our positive mindset. This means that if you complain about several things in your first time of meeting someone, they may categorize you as someone who complains. People don't like it. Don't do it. People who complain are hardly as passionate in thinking of solutions. It is easy to talk about problems but challenging to solve them. A lot of leaders may see someone who complains about something but isn't doing anything about it as lazy. 12. Asking personal questions. If you meet someone for the first time, try to keep your questions professional or within the boundaries of the person's interest. If you do it that way, you will not cross your boundaries. Don't ask people how much they earn. It is none of your business. Don't ask them who they are voting or whether they are into men or women. It is really none of your business. People who do this are immediately labeled as pokey. They will see you as someone who snoops around and they will not trust you. 13. Talking about yourself. People who meet you want to interact with you. They don't want to hear more about you. Keep the conversation open and ask questions and listen. Don't go on and on about your achievements. You will bore others.