 Hello there guys, James Marshall here chilling out on a very lovely summer's evening in Budapest. I just, I didn't even plan for that butterfly to come through cinematically, thanks butterfly. Just finished Euro tour, got a couple of days off before I could move into my next coaching obligations and passion and at the same time I'm preparing for the relaunch of the Five Principles of Natural Seduction online course. Very excited to be able to relaunch this course for the many dozens of men that have contacted me in the last year saying, dude I missed out last time, how do I get on board? And I've had to say no. And now I'm going to say actually yes. We're reopening the course. This is a five week live interactive course where I'll be your mentor teaching you the foundations of the Five Principles. These are the methodology, the techniques that I teach guys in my live workshops and this is an opportunity for you guys wherever you are in the world to learn from me. So stay tuned for lots more info on Five Principles relaunch coming soon. Now in the lead up to this relaunch, I've been going through my material. I've been adding and tweaking things over the last bunch of months because I wanted to improve the course, take the feedback from guys who took it last time. And while I was doing that I started thinking in more depth about some of the elements of my own personal journey in seduction and of course the thousands of students that I've worked with and looking at what are the things over time that make the big difference. I've been doing this as a profession now for nearly 10 years and I've trialled out all sorts of different things in terms of different teaching techniques and different strategies for getting better with women. Some of them I've seen can have a short term gain or they're kind of tricks and tips things that will help a guy to get in state or to you know a clever thing to say or a thing that might work in a specific situation say in a club or meeting a girl who's standing at a tram stop, all sorts of little technical things which can certainly help. But I've always been more interested in what are the overarching principles and themes that make the difference in the long term. Recently I released a video on 10 things that over the long term will fuck up your dating life. These are things that are very common that men do that can just insidiously over time grind you down. Things that sometimes seem like they should work but don't. And a lot of guys really resonated with that video. There was a lot of kind of aha moments and hard truth bombs being dropped on people and I got a lot of good feedback from that from guys who were like fuck yeah I've been doing that I need to stop doing it. Today I'm going to present the opposite of that which is the 10 things that I've been outlining recently that make the difference positively in your dating life over the long term. So these are not necessarily techniques or lines to say but these are mindsets and behaviors that will massively improve your chances over time. So without further delay the 10 things that make you kick ass with women in the long run. Number one may seem like kind of a strange one to start with but I feel like it is one of the most important elements of a guy that is really effective with women and that is having curiosity. That's right not sexual desire or like an animalistic thing to try and fuck chicks that's good to have as well but having curiosity in general about life and most specifically about people and women. I've noted that the guys that are the most effective the ones that get the most success with women are not the ones that view this as kind of a separate activity like a skill that they hobby that they go and practice in their garage and then they go out in the field and they go and do the seduction thing in order to kind of get the result a return on investment of if I do this amount of approaches then I'm going to get this amount of sexes. Guys who view seduction in this way tend to burn out or they just don't get very good results because if you're coming from this from a point of separation of like I'm trying to achieve a goal I'm trying to get women as some kind of object or some validation kind of measure or you're trying to prove something and you're not seeing it as an interaction as an actual connection with a human being then you won't get very good at it and you won't enjoy life very much either because the reality is most of the enjoyment that you get out of life is through the emotional exchanges that you have with people. I know for myself over the years I've become more and more curious about people. A guy in the last Euro tour we finished a couple of days ago he asked me over dinner do you ever get bored of doing this like now that you've seen so many interactions you've been with so many women you've had all these experiences doesn't it get boring because you kind of know what's going to happen and I thought about it and I said actually no I find it's more interesting now than it was when I started because when I started I thought that I had more arrogance I actually had more delusion I thought that I knew people pretty well I thought okay that type of girl is a club girl or that type of girl is a corporate chick so therefore I don't have anything in common with her I don't care about what she cares about so talking to her is going to be pretty boring and the only reason I talked to her is to try and get her into bed and I wasn't very good at talking to people that I didn't care about being with and they didn't think it was very convincing so I didn't get to sleep with many of those girls. What I developed over time was a curiosity to find out what all people are like to be able to meet different types of women and even if I perceived that they were from a different demographic or into a different type of lifestyle rather than making snap judgments and perceiving that I already knew what those people were and I could define them and put them in a box easily that instead I made it my mission to dig deeper inside people and find out what they really like because in my opinion it's the job of the primary communicator to make someone interesting an interesting person can find out what's interesting in someone else because they are interrested because they have a curiosity as time's gone on yeah I've met pretty much all the types of girls I think that I'm going to meet you know I've certainly had many interactions where I'm like oh yeah I've been here before in some sense so this is a 21 year old girl who's studying at uni and she lives with her parents and she has a job and you know she's goes out partying on the weekends and she sometimes takes drugs and you know she watches TV shows okay I've met girls like that before but if I perceive her just as a you know another girl that fits into those checkboxes then I'll be like okay whatever this is the same old chick I just need to say the things and hopefully get sex out of it that's not a good way to seduce someone because each person is unique and yeah okay we all have similarities and many of us have been through similar circumstances and so we might you know think certain things in the same direction and have we have human responses but each one of us has individual unique aspects about ourselves and if you're very curious to find out what is that really makes a girl tick the way she is more so than the what she does then you will of course be more you'll enjoy the process more because you're always finding out new things and very importantly she will perceive that you're listening to her that you actually give a shit that you want to find out what it is about her specifically that is sexy that is interesting that has life and light in it and as I've developed more and more curiosity over time because I guess I've allowed myself to be fascinated by the world to be fascinated by sociology history the way people communicate the infinite ways that they express their sexuality and their desires and their frustrations and all that I've become more and more interested in the human condition over the years it's meant that I'm able to relate to far more different types of people it means that when I meet someone who's from a totally different world than me I don't understand anything about their social culture or the way things are done in their scene I can still have a connection and girls often find themselves meeting me and thinking initially he's not my type he's not from my scene he's not the kind of guy that I would usually date but finding that themselves attracted to me because they can see that even though we're from different worlds we have a real connection a connection which is based on me listening reading projecting intention communicating my desire at the same time hearing what it is that she's trying to communicate below the words outside of the spectrum of just the answering the questions right so if you want to be a guy who's effective and awesome with women then you have to actually give a shit about them and say if there's a guy that here is like ah man fuck that that sounds like a lot of work well you should rethink your attitude if you're just looking at women as an object to conquer or is like the same thing over and over again then you're going to miss all of the wonderful unique things that she has to offer you're going to not see the best of her and that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're if you perceive that she doesn't have anything to offer then she's not going to want to offer it to you and so you then just repeat that cycle of thinking that women don't have anything to offer women are amazing they have infinite numbers of emotional and physical and sexual responses and if you maintain that sense of I'm always interested in finding out about this woman right now I want to know what makes a tick I want to see see what her light is like inside then lots of those girls will see you as a sexual prospect so very important and of course this can be difficult sometimes when you're out grinding and you're approaching girls or many many girls and sometimes it can feel like it's repetitive and it's a job it's a chore to go out there and do this you have to be very wary of that if you perceive it as a chore I'm just approaching and approaching I'm doing this thing and I fucking doesn't know what's the amount of time I put into this is it worth it that's not very sustainable you need to look at each interaction as a unique moment in time that even though you may have approached a whole bunch of other girls before and you will afterwards my my attitude is always I'm here with this woman now and I want to really find out what's possible between us in this moment regardless of what happened before or what's going to happen in the future with any other girls it's important that I'm there with her because otherwise she perceives that you're just kind of going through the motions it's not it's not interesting for her she doesn't want to stick around in that situation and you'll be surprised you'll allow yourself to be constantly surprised by girls even if you've met a bunch that day and it was like hum drum okay nothing much especially happening but if you're there focused and clear and there in the moment with the girl you'll be surprised some girl will come along and shake you or give you something which you weren't expecting and out of that blossoms beautiful moments and relationships stay curious number two I don't think will come as any surprise to anyone who knows me at all and that is meditation I've talked about this at great length I've released products on it this is one of the bedrock teachings that I give in my live programs the ability to focus your mind in ways that are effective the ability to get out of your head which so often is not assisting you so much of what you think and what I think what everyone thinks is completely useless the vast majority of the thoughts that run through your mind and run around in circles all day don't serve you they don't solve amazing problems they don't bring incredible insights often they're just repetitive chatter or and worse still they can very often be negative chatter where you are coaching yourself in a really bad way to not feel great about yourself so learning a skill that allows you to draw focus away from the linear thoughts that are just chattering away in your head and to bring them into the present experience is I know for myself being the most important tool that I've ever learnt all right I did my first long-term meditation retreat when I was 18 years old my first 10 day retreat and I still mark that in the kind of narrative of my life as being the best thing that I ever did right in terms of how much change came out of that and then of course I did a lot of follow-up work after that it wasn't just that one period but learning to sit move my awareness out of here and into my body to observe my breathing to really investigate the way my mind emotions and body interacted and affected each other and were reactive this allowed me to start to shift my personality this allowed me to take out the original major issues that I had in my personality which was back then a lot of anger a lot of cynicism a lot of negativity and depression which I developed in childhood in my teenage years and this was stuff that was obviously making my life miserable I wasn't enjoying myself and of course when you're not enjoying yourself people don't really want to be around you very much and so I wasn't getting what I wanted in my relationships either meditation was a very very profound and practical tool that allowed me to draw myself into the present and understand the way that things such as anger took me over all right because each one of us has elements within us that we've learned in childhood or growing up or through extreme experiences where we have reactions reactions are where something happens triggers triggers us and we lose control and I see this very very commonly with guys who are out in the field of course when they come to me on the first few days of a workshop first couple of days we can usually get a handle on it but when guys start out the idea of running up to a gorgeous woman who they find intimidating or they perceive to be out of their league or they think that she might have some power over them they have this response inside them which they perceive as anxiety or fear or embarrassment or terror sometimes panic right so the external stimulus which is the hot chick coming into their field of view sets off all these triggers inside themselves and they react and then they lock down mentally they lock down they can't think of what to say sometimes their entire bodies can lock down where they literally can't move or they're shaking or you guys know this sensation they call it approach anxiety right where you feel all this stuff in your body and it's a it's a whole bunch of reactions that have activated if you don't have a mental focus tool to be able to deal with this and it's really hard to move through it some people can just use kind of willpower to force themselves to go and do something even though they may be feeling terrified or perceiving terror perceiving fear but for the most part what happens is guys feel all these negative sensations they have these negative mental associations and then they find excuses or ways to back away from it all right and you've all been there i've been there you've seen the girl you want to do it and something inside you just convinces you maybe you just better do something else all right and that's the mental battle of this whole thing a lot of guys come to us primarily for that and once we can i can show guys very soon that we can get through that pretty quickly and then we can get on to the more interesting stuff but it is a battle that you need to win so meditation for me has been the most powerful tool to be able to relax focus not get so carried away by my emotional responses or the thoughts that are happening in my head and even if i do get carried away which certainly i still do to be able to bring myself back to a balanced calm much faster than previously to learning meditation there are of course all sorts of meditation styles i don't recommend all of them some of them i think are a bit of a waste of time some of them are kind of cult based we have to believe in a certain god or a guru some of them require a whole lot of visualization which i don't think is necessarily that useful unless you i just don't think it's that useful uh so the meditation systems that i recommend is my one martial meditation method which you can find out about uh on the tnl site which is a derivative of all sorts of other techniques that i have learned throughout my years i've i've traveled to china to india i've learned from all sorts of masters and gurus to find ones that are effective that don't require you to have faith or believe in some strange religion or something these are tools that are science of mind and matter using your own ability to shift awareness or shift focus as the tool so the style that i most commonly recommend outside of what i teach would be vipassana and you can look that up online there's lots of information about it if you can take 10 days out of your life to sit down and shut up and watch what your mind does recommended you may well hate me on day five or six you'd be like fuck that james marshall he made me sit here uh because it is very difficult to do a long-term retreat it's i still chart this as being one of if not the most difficult things that i ever did in my life was my first one of these retreats when i had they got easier a bit easier over time but the first one was in some ways excruciating and grueling but if you want to learn to control your mind uh to gain better balance to be able to have more focus and power than it is worth it because the alternative is being constantly at the whims of whatever's going on inside you whatever triggers get activated by external circumstances meditation my number one recommendation for living an exceptional life and definitely definitely helps with getting the ladies number three in the list is logistics now what i'm talking about when i refer to logistics is your location uh within a city like the city that you choose to live in and whereabouts in the city that you live and how all of the kind of supporting structures around you assist or don't assist you in meeting women now i've met guys i've talked guys actually who are in logistically very difficult circumstances one of the guys on my last workshop was working in the army and he had an insane schedule where he had very little time to himself uh where he was allowed to be out socializing i've talked guys who worked on oil rigs right so this one client i'm thinking of he would spend a month out in the fucking ocean on an oil rig where there was no chicks he'd work for a month and then he and then he'd come back and he'd have a month off or i've talked guys who've lived in very small towns guys who've worked in in rural areas as a mountain guide or as a farmer for example now it is possible to work around this the guy who i taught who works on the oil rig for example he spends his month on working on his fitness meditating uh working on personal development he's working on business ideas whilst of course doing his job on the oil rig and then the day that he arrives back in civilization he's fucking on and he goes straight away to cool cities he lives in europe when he's back in civilization he goes straight to a party city or a city where there's lots and lots of things happening and he makes it work right so i mean you can work around bad logistics but i would suggest that you don't if you don't have to uh the one of the major reasons why i've been able to have so much experience and so have such great effect in my own seduction life is that i've moved where the girls are right i moved where the things are happening i was brought up in a shitty town called cambera in australia capital city bit of boring city 200-ish thousand people when i was growing up there uh not much going on in social life like that that size city is still enough to get something happening but for me i wanted to go to a city where things were happening where it was vibrant i was a musician at the time and i wanted to be where that stuff was happening and i wanted to develop myself with women so i ended up moving and i was broke and i and i had to take risks uh but i moved to melbourne australia which was four million people which which exploded my possibilities hugely and then some years later after traveling around europe and noticing hang on a minute there's a bunch of these cities here where the girls are fucking hot and the dudes are not uh and they're really awesome cities in terms of logistics and so i decided to move over to this part of the world which has again made my life easier and made and brought me into a density of very attractive women in a city that's easily livable and it works for dating right so there are lots of places around the world that are not very conducive to you having an exceptional dating life even some of the very large cities for example london uh can be a very difficult or la for example can be very difficult cities to maneuver in because they're so fucking expensive because uh they're so spread out and huge that if you and and they don't have a fantastic public transport systems meaning that if you meet a girl on one side who lives on one side of the city and you live on the other getting to meet each other can be a real real impossibility because otherwise someone has to spend a hundred and fifty dollars one way on a cab for example right so i know i've worked with clients a lot who've who've been living in big uh expensive cities that are all spread out and not very social and they've decided that at some point after doing a course that it was better to be in is it deja vu or did that girl frock walk come past me again next time she's coming you nod at me and i'll say hi to her okay we'll see if we can do that if she comes again is she hot i haven't seen her face she's all right okay cool um anyway so like making decisions about where you live and what part of the city you live in can have a massive bearing on your effectiveness even in one city there's massive of course there's major differences about living way out in the suburbs where there is no social life there's no cafes or bars or parks or beaches where people are hanging out whereas within most cities there's a central hub where things are happening for myself it was always far more important where i lived in a city than what kind of lifestyle or like how cool my house was for example so i always made it a priority to get in and often as i was growing up that meant being in a shitty share house right i lived in all sorts of bad share houses i'm growing up where the taps didn't work properly and they were ugly and there was cockroaches hanging around and i don't have to live with cockroaches but i certainly did at different points but there were places that were central whether it was central camber or central melbourne or like in central la or central new york or wherever it is that i've moved and lived over the years it was i knew that it was more important to be where the things were happening than to have a super cool pad that was not logistically useful all right because a girl as long as there's a bed and it doesn't stink and uh the lighting is okay and you've got some music to play like most girls don't really care where they have sex as long as like it just is not a total disgusting pit but you can turn more or less any space into a place that's that's the where a girl can walk in and go yeah okay i i couldn't fucking hear uh and often that's one of the things that makes it easy to to to get laid okay you meet a girl at a bar and then if you can walk back to your place that is such a much easier decision for her to make than to go fuck okay i need to get in this guy's car i need to get in the cab with him and we need to travel all the way out to his place and then i like what if i decided i want to sleep with him like how do i get back or how do i get out of this situation or if it goes well like i mean then what i'm still stuck out there all right so it's a much bigger decision for a girl have to make than to be able to go you'd be able to go oh well do you want to come upstairs we can have a cup of tea and then you can head home if you want she's like okay yeah i could have a cup of tea on the way home come upstairs and then cup of tea ends up into raucous sex and then she's like all right cool well now i can get an uber and head home and it's just around the corner all right so that's the kind of thing that will often make her uh make the decision much easier for a girl of course it's also in terms of nightlife if you can be living a place where the nightlife leaves in with within walking or short transport distance away from you again easier to extract people from situations nightlife situations and bring them back home so if you're a guy who really wants to get good at this and you're living in a city of 10 000 people uh or you're living in a place which is for example religiously or culturally uh where it's unacceptable to meet girls right and there are certainly a whole bunch of places around the world where it's not really cool to approach girls in the street then you may have to look at the realities of like how that it's time to move and if that's not instantly realistic for you because of financial constraints or family constraints or a job or whatever okay that's something that i understand people have realistic constraints but you must understand that there are sometimes systemic limitations to the location that you're in and no amount of uh positive thinking or getting in the right mindsets or even practice is necessarily going to yield great results i've moved multiple times cities first and then countries entire fucking continents i've moved multiple times in order to be in places where there are lots of hot girls around where it's easy to meet them where it's easy to get them back to my house or get go to their house where there is a society and a culture which is if not again if not supporting me at least not against this kind of thing so where it's okay to do this and there's no there's no legal constraints so there's no big issues about it and that's meant that i've got to have way better results than if i'd stayed back in my hometown jesus christ i'd shut a thinking about it if i'd done that my life would not be nearly as good i would there's no chance that i would be able to have the experiences that i've had now living in camber right so to all my friends back in camber all right well good luck to you i'm a little bit sorry for everyone there i'll go back in christmas and see my mum but that's it those kinds of places second third tier cities if you want to have an exceptional life you kind of got to go where the exceptional lives are being had and it doesn't have to mean the huger city or the least most glamorous city there are lots of cool places around the world where it's people are friendly where you can socialize where the logistics of the streets mean that people are walking on the streets that's one reason i don't like los angeles very much is that in most parts of that city people don't walk there's i mean how do i approach girls if there's no girls on the street and they're all in cars uh i can't really do it in the way that i like to do it so well so that a city like that's not effective for me so have a think about this and i know some for some guys this may mean big changes if you want to get the best out of a location but then you got to ask yourself what's the what's the point of your life like what do you what are the things that are most important to you if meeting lots of girls and getting really good at this is low down on your list okay stay in your hometown if it's something that you have a burning passion for and you want to get exceptionally good at you got to go where the girls are number four is style having a good sense of style is one of the easiest ways to massively increase the passive value that you have just walking down the streets being able to understand the social matrix that you live within the way that colors fabrics uh work with your body and most importantly to be able to understand what type of archetype are you representing through your style this is something that makes a massive difference with the effect that you can have on women now a lot of guys have a lot of resistance to improving the way that they dress in their style because they perceive it to be shallow all right i've heard this many times before what guys are like well it shouldn't matter what i dress like you know i want to i want a woman to like me for me for my personality uh and if she's going to judge me on the way that i dress then i don't want to have anything to do with a woman like that anyway i think this is a really stupid way to view things because the reality is that we live in a world where there are dress codes there are all sorts of dress codes and they communicate all sorts of things of course there's a reason why people who are in powerful positions men in powerful positions don't walk around in cargo shorts and singlets uh when they're doing international deals or when they're deciding the fate of the world there's a reason why musicians and actors and people who are famous and popular and sexy dress in a particular way and why there's why this has effects on people around them there's a difference between style and fashion so what i'm saying is you don't need to become excellent with fashion fashion is what's going on right now this season honey that's going to change in a month or three months there are all sorts of things that were cool and then very soon afterwards were not so cool in fact they became cringe worthy if you just look back on video clips from now back through to the 60s there's all these of course dress trends which now people wouldn't be seen dead in and then sometimes they become cool again later recent ones you may remember things like having a pink polo shirt with the collar popped up right that was something that probably a david beckham or some cool person wore once because they were just like fucking around with stuff and then someone was like that's it that's the look this summer and then suddenly every decade is wearing it and looking ridiculous and then three months later or a year later you look at your facebook photos and and go what was i thinking what was it what was i possibly thinking wearing that or like stuff that when i was growing up in the 90s or in the late in early 2000s where guys were wearing uh ripped jeans with lots of paint splatters or shirts that had all these squiggly lines and extra bits and bells and whistles on them just move over here uh guys are wearing all these extra this stuff that was like bling and had all these rips and paint splatters and all this kind of stuff on a normal shirt that was considered to be cool for a short amount of time and then very soon afterwards is very dated as in it it's very clear that this was from a specific point in fashion history that was cool for a day and not cool anymore so i don't recommend getting into that unless you want to be following the whims of fashion all the time there are some people who stay on the cutting edge of fashion and if you live in a place like new york you'll see guys who are just constantly on the edge of that and understand it and they can wear that wear the stuff that's cool now and dump it when it's not cool okay if you want to play that game and you you're having interest in it well good luck to you it's pretty expensive and it requires you to make fashion a hobby of yours i'm not interested in that i'm interested in style that is timeless things that have always kind of worked and always will and there will be some elements of it that will be time specific but mostly the things that i wear uh would will probably be cool and look good at any point in style history so it is really important that you dress better than the average guy because it's a way for you to stand out because what it says is i get it i get that i'm living in a social matrix i get that there's hierarchies i get that there is uh messages that i can communicate and i get that there are archetypes right so there are there are certain male uh models right of cool guys or sexy guys or powerful guys out there in the consciousness of women right when they visualize what it is to have a sexy man he's dressed he's not they're not just thinking of a naked guy like maybe we're thinking of naked girls we don't necessarily think so much in terms of the way the girl dresses maybe but the women they are looking at like okay if i'm looking for a guy that's a boss that's powerful that has an effect in the world maybe a guy that's in a well-cut suit is something that's going to uh attract the woman if she's interested in the guy that is kind of more rebellious or doesn't play by the rules then she'll have fashion or style archetypes in her mind that relate to that such as a leather jacket or slim fitting jeans or you know a a grubby white t-shirt with with a necklace for example like all sorts of things that when a girl sees a guy dressed in a certain way she she gets messages from him okay that's a guy's a bit of a bad boy that guy's a boss that guy's like in in command of his his life that guy is expressive and artistic and is out there right there's all sorts of ways we can express our personality through our style i'm not saying you need to model any particular person or stick to something that's strict but if you can start to get even just a rudimentary understanding of what is it that's generic style what is it that everyone's wearing you look around you in particularly in places like north america you just see armies of dudes wearing plaid shirts check shirts or polo shirts or you know the same ill-fitting kind of t-shirts or khaki cargo shorts like gym runners like all of these kinds of things that we just say generic just like every other dude and if you want to stand out in the crowd a little bit you want to be able to make an impact on the women that you're approaching then learning to dress well is a way that you can go up and say hi and the girl in an instant will just go okay this guy kind of gets it all right this guy understands that there is a social matrix and and that he's worked out a place in it all right i'm going to give him a chance so don't make it harder on yourself by wearing crocs and shitty polo shirts or clothes that your mother bought you or or things that were cool two years ago and now are definitely not cool make it easy on yourself wear stuff that fits well matches your coloring and says something about you says something about the archetype that you want to present to the women out there number five is approaching strangers seems kind of obvious when you're a guy who's researching and learning about seduction yet most men almost never do this the reality for most men who are outside of who've never heard of this kind of work is that the amount of times in their life where they'll go and speak to a complete stranger maybe less than 10 and unfortunately even for the guys that are watching this video i know that there's thousands of guys who watch this very video who are not really approaching girls at all or if they are they're doing it very haphazardly once a week once every now and then once when the opportunity is really easy once when the girl gives you really clear signals if you want to get good with women you need to meet lots of them lots of them not just one every now and then not just some on the weekend when you're drunk not just at a party because that's going to mean that you don't get the sample size needed in order to be able to understand how this actually works lots of men out there think that they're trying to if they're learning this learning seduction at all it's because they're trying to find the one to find one really awesome girlfriend and that's a totally legitimate goal to have to find one really cool girl to be your girlfriend but that doesn't happen by just meeting one hi there how are you you look very nice today what's your name really you want to say hi yeah i'm james i'm really yeah i know yeah what are you doing yeah city side the sea side is the water your um ukrainian or russian russian i have a pronunciation uh do you have yeah i think you you sound a little bit yeah i could tell you what do you think i don't know maybe from britain maybe i sound a bit british but what if i say like this hey might hey gowan do you know what that is australian australian yeah your pronunciation is very good i see that australian pronunciation is like different from british or american yeah worse not worse oh yes it's worse yes australian the australian accent usually is very bad english but i have to speak more clearly when i live in europe so people understand me because if i talk like an Aussie you won't understand me well you have better pronunciation than this yes i know i do have better uh we're doing some vlogging so i mean i do a lot of travel i'll be the vlogger no if you want to be you can i don't know yeah uh yeah we do lots of travel kind of videos and where have you been already in the world in the world many places i've been although i've been to 40 something countries i think 42 or three is your hobby a job both yeah i mean i travel a lot for for fun and for adventure and also for workshops i teach workshops and yeah to have clients around the world as well it's like a dream it is it is a good dream yeah that was my always my goal when i was growing up was i wanted to be able to travel and have adventures and not get up in the morning too early and not work for somebody else so that's what i've been working it's my dream to travel and it's the same time to work yeah it's well there's lots of ways to do it i meet lots of people who do that in different ways massage therapists photographers people who work on the internet like there's lots of different things you can do how many are you here actually i this is my base so i live in Budapest um like five six months a year and then i travel a lot so sometimes like now i'm here for for the summer and you i'm studying here at university i'm really from russia i'm studying english and german language and you just arrived recently now i arrived on september i'm just leaving passing my exams i mean i see you just came up here by yourself to chill out and have some peaceful time to have time for myself because i study a lot yeah that's it yeah that's a good dream like you like i should study a lot all right well i hope you hope you reach it yeah it was nice to meet you yeah you two do you want to get a cup of tea sometime maybe yeah can i get your number or something i don't have number just facebook okay we can do a facebook that's easy so it's lily right lily maybe you're right right here lily i'll add you later when i'm online um okay cool well i'll send you a message sometimes so my name is james but but on my facebook it's jamie so you'll you'll recognize me but i have a beard there so a little bit you'll still see my face okay all right have a lovely evening see you bye where was i what was i talking about hmm was i talking about talking to people oh yeah talking to people strangers strangers uh that's something i couldn't have done many years ago 10 years ago i would just be walking along and i would see a girl walk past and even though i saw that girl before and she gave me a little look and i thought oh maybe she likes me but previous to me having lots of experience with women i wouldn't know what to do and the the result of having met hundreds and probably thousands of women and being rejected by most of them means that now i have a fucking awesome sexy girlfriend who's bisexual and doesn't mind that i go and do that uh that whenever i land in a new city even though i may know nobody i can make connections friends and lovers very very fast the ability to approach strangers is one of the most important skills you can possibly have in your life it's going to determine what level of choice you have particularly in your sexual life so i know that everyone that's watching this video is is aware of the idea of approaching strangers and you want to do it um but until you make that a regular part of your life then nothing much else happens and that's one of the main reasons guys come to me is because they have a lot of block around just going over and saying hi and getting something started and i understand that there is a whole lot of uh mental roadblocks and um technical aspects that you may not be aware of and of course all of the fear surrounding having a pretty girl reject you or to be or being embarrassed in a public space this is this is an issue that is common to most men but the the benefit of it of being able to do it is absolutely life changing this has been one of the one of the few skills in my life that i've learned that means that my life is exceptionally awesome and fun uh and not lonely and then i get to have sex with hot girls this is this is how this is the skill so approaching is something that you must learn and if you're having trouble doing it yourself come to me and we'll figure out or do the five principles course coming soon because we look at this in great depth and give you all sorts of drills and ways to do it but until you're having regular women and it's not that like i said here and there doesn't really make any difference because you're not getting enough of a sample size you're not getting to experience enough of uh the different reactions that you're going to get from girls to experience the harsh rejections the soft rejections the the almost you got it and then the you got the number and it flakes and then the girls are really interested there's a whole spread of reactions that you'll get from girls and you need to be able to do that over and over again to get the feedback and learn learn the skill set because that means that when the right girl walks by you the goal of your dreams the one or the one for now anyway that you're prepared for her because you don't get prepared for meeting the girl of your dreams just by meeting her there's you need to meet some other girls in the meantime let's go and do that number six is directness to be direct way back in the early 2000s when I was first getting into this there was a big kind of philosophical war between the direct and indirect schools of seduction and I think since then the kind of directors has won but back then there was a lot of discussion over whether it was better to uh let a girl know that you liked her or you thought she was sexy or that the reason you were speaking to her was because you were attracted to her as a woman or whether it was better to just pretend you were asking her opinion or that you were wanted to know where Starbucks were or you weren't that fast about her but maybe she you find out a bit later you're interested there was there was kind of good explanations for why being indirect was was a strategic advantage the idea behind it being that if you sort of let the girl know you're really interested straight away that your value was dropped that she wouldn't perceive you as being a man of choice and she wouldn't chase you and that was the kind of idea behind it but I think that that fucked up a generation of seducers the guys who read the game and did all that mystery method stuff early on and the various other companies who taught that kind of stuff was because underneath that underneath the technical idea whether or not it was technically useful or not there was a really shitty presupposition a really shitty idea which was that women won't just like you right because if I'm being indirect it it's presupposes that I can't just go and let a girl know why I'm there because she wouldn't like me like that wouldn't be enough the fact that I'm here presenting myself as a direct male she'd be like what whatever like I don't want to have anything to do with that because you sir are a piece of shit or you're not worthy or you're not sexy or you're not attractive in some way so that was why from the very beginning of my company we always taught direct game right always taught being expressive with your desire not fucking around not trying to play all these games to try and manipulate people into into liking you but to just present yourself and I've developed a lot over the years of my understanding of what it really means to be direct and I think some guys perceive they misrepresent this and perceive it to mean that you always have to go up and tell a girl that you find her really sexy that's and that that's directness right that every approach I go up and I say hey you're really beautiful and that's it and then I did my direct did my direct game I think that's a that's a surface level understanding of what it means to be direct the girl I just met back there what did I say I said I think you'll you look lovely right so I was directing the sense I waived and I smiled and said hello I wasn't trying to use some excuse I didn't say how I'm filming this thing do you want to be part of the thing I just said hi and I told her that I thought she was lovely okay so that's direct in my intention and then from that position I continued with my directness because I've said this before and I think it's a powerful statement that direct is an attitude it's not just an opener right so the way I try to live my life is from a direct position where I try to be clear about what it is that I want I try to be clear about when I'm saying yes when I'm saying no I try to be clear about starting a relationship about ending a relationship about what my boundaries are about what I'm willing to put up with about what I'm willing to offer about what the deal is you know I'm a person who runs a kind of complicated business now and I have to do deals with people all the time and I learned that being indirect and trying to be polite and make everyone happy meant that you ended up getting in messy shitty deals and people ending up feeling like that they were in some way misled so I think it's really important if you want to be an effective male you want to be someone who commands respect who gets attraction who goes forward he's what goes for what he wants that you are always direct and as I was saying before there's there's a difference between being just bluntly like saying the words I think you're beautiful you're really sexy I want to fuck you that kind of thing and the implication of direct so when I'm teaching guys to be direct in my workshops yeah we usually start out by verbally direct being verbally direct we teach the guys to go and give compliments but not just to go and say the same thing over and over again to look at each girl and get a feel for what it is about that girl that girl there my little read on her was she smiled and she was like kind of sunny and like dreamy I saw her earlier when we were filming and she was like kind of here in a dreamy space and so my choice of word was lovely whereas if it was a girl who was like fucking sassy and like tits out and like a sex bomb I would have chose a different word all right it doesn't it's not just necessarily one word it might be a phrase but if I'm being direct with a girl I always try to be specifically direct I allow myself to drink her in and see okay what is it about that girl that is attractive in her own particular way and then I communicate in that way and then there are levels of direct where I don't even need to say anything and that's communicated through your intention through your eye contact through your body language or through your touch and this is all sorts of stuff that we teach on the workshops that we teach you guys to become aware to to clear their minds and then to get into a space where they can charge that potential relaxed space with a clear intent a direct intent so that when I'm looking at a girl in the eyes I'm zapping her with my sexuality I may just be talking it may just say hey what's your name it's not like a sexy words to say but the implication through my eye contact is clear through my intention through what I'm feeling thinking and projecting through my eyes so walking through life with a direct intention which is to be clear communicator to send messages without playing games to be unashamed and unapologetic about what you want of course I need to be able to read feedback I can't just sociopathically go through life stealing and ravaging and taking everything without you know being aware of the consequences but the people who get what they want out of life are the ones who go for it right they're the ones who make moves in the direction of their desire and they're not apologetic for the fact that they have that desire the guys that I've seen and and I know for myself as I developed who became very effective with women were the ones that let go of the need to please people all the time to be perceived as being nice and polite and they learned to be selfish in a healthy way right to be able to go and get and take what they want and of course to be able to exchange that and give something back and to to develop this sense of entitlement over time feeling entitled to amazing women comes from being direct and clear about what you want first if you're trying to hide that from the girl or from yourself then she'll perceive that as being inauthentic and you will not be able to align your thoughts emotions and actions and words in a way that are powerful charismatic and persuasive so go through life gentlemen with a sense of directness not just at the opener but throughout every single thing that you do number seven good wingman you may have heard the phrase you are the sum of the five people that you spend most of your time with whether that's exactly true or not you certainly are heavily influenced by the people that you're around and it's quite difficult to get awesome at seduction just by yourself and it certainly is possible I know for myself and for all the guys that I'm currently with the initial stages of what I was doing was completely solo right so when I first started cold approaching girls I was about 26 and all my friends were in relationships or were terrified of the idea of talking to girls or made excuses about it so when I first started going out yeah I did it all alone and most of the guys I now hang out with Liam and Tony and travel bum also started out doing their stuff alone however as soon as they could I found my way into communities of guys that were interested in doing this and started to work create wingman relationships that meant that when I found the right guys and it took some trial and error some of the initial guys that I hung out with when I look back it was like some kind of weird dudes and some guys that I wasn't compatible with or guys like when I had a bit of fun with and tried some stuff out with but with our styles didn't really work together but when I did find my initial group of wingmen my results skyrocketed because having a good wingman is beneficial in so many ways of course from a very practical sense if we're going and approaching out especially at night often girls are in twos and threes and approaching trying to get girls just by yourself when they're in groups that's a very challenging dynamic and if you've got another wing who works well with you then you can meet two girls and go and pick them up together or you can split them and then your wing can take care of the girl that he's not maybe not interested in but take your attention away so that you can work on seducing the other girl there's all these kind of basic practical elements of a wingman that most of you would be familiar with but I think good wings go well well beyond the guy that you stand next to when you're approaching that kind of you you keep each other company so you don't look like dorks in the bar or even the I'm going and we're going and approaching it two girls and trying to work two girls together good wingmen the guys that support you on all aspects of your journey anyone that's interested in our style of seduction is not just interested in a bunch of techniques trying to learn a bunch of pickup lines or or tricks that they're going to apply most guys that watch this channel are guys that want to improve themselves on a deep internal level they want to improve their confidence their spiritual growth their sense of masculinity and manhood they want to have really interesting lifestyles where they have lots of cool activities to do and fun open-minded progressive people around them who are inspiring them and that's where I see wingmen really affecting you deeply I currently live in a house with Liam and Tony travel um Shay lives nearby as well my whole crew that I roll with are constantly supporting me and I'm supporting them in their personal growth change and also in their seduction endeavors whenever a guy brings a girl home to our house he knows that that there is absolutely zero chance that we will do anything to mess it up and that's that's a reality in a lot of social circles is that men have friends whom they may perceive to be very close friends but as soon as they bring a girl in or they try and meet a girl that that guy unconsciously or consciously fucks it up for him teases him makes him look like a full worst-case scenario tries to hit on the girl but at the very least is not making him look great and not making it easy for him to you know get the girl into bed or to her to feel comfortable in that environment we all know that anyone brings in a girl whether it's a short-term thing or a girlfriend or a long-term lover that everyone is going to be awesome they're going to play their role perfectly in terms of making the girl feel comfortable being charming without being seductive uh in joining helping her to like join into the group dynamic if need be doing stuff like quickly going and changing sheets or getting a set of towels or sometimes giving your room up like all of us have done all sorts of things for each other where it's in the assistance of his wingman to make sure that he gets laid or that the the uh the girl feels comfortable and so on i know that if at any point i needed to contact Liam and say hey dude can you change my sheets um or tony contacted me and said uh you know there's a good there's a girl coming in a minute can you like tidy up or um just be or i need you guys to get out because there's a girl coming in she's like really timid and nervous like all of us many times have just jumped at that instantly going all right cool let's get in order and make sure that this works for the other guy on a pragmatic even selfish level if you help each other out then later on the other person helps you out everyone gets laid more often and on a on a kind of group dynamic level if you're not surrounded by a group of friends or wingmen or or one or two or however many guys that have your growth your success your happiness as something that they are invested in then they're not friends all right then there's a there's so many social groups of men which are which are built around uh supporting negativity around hierarchies where they're rigidly enforced and someone is someone's at the top and everyone else is kind of fighting for attention or or there's a pecking order down which people are nasty to each other there's all sorts of social groups where people support each other's laziness or encourage guys to stay in safe zones and not to step out of their comfort zones or if one guy does step out and try something new whether that's trying a new style trying a new activity or heaven forbid going and talking to girls that he's shouted down teased down made fun of in some way or another if you if you're in that kind of social circle it can be really difficult to get ahead and it's important that you understand that if you are that you need to find new wings i've done this multiple times in my life i've had groups of friends who sometimes were really awesome people and really love lovely and friendly and supported me in some ways but did not have the interest or the ability to support me when it came to getting good with women or expanding my lifestyle or traveling or stepping out into the risky zones of entrepreneurship and so on so it is vitally important that you find to start with just one other guy and it can be a girl too having a good wing girl can be awesome as well generally it's going to be a guy who wants to go on a similar path to you who's a positive influence he doesn't have to be the best seducer in the world but he has to have a good attitude a good mindset and want you to succeed as much as he succeeds because it becomes so much more fun right going out rolling together and meeting girls or being in situations like me and the guys are in have been in many times where someone's someone's got a girl or he's picked up two girls he met a bunch of girls and he's and he calls us up and says hey man i've got three chicks here and i need someone to come and like uh have fun with me sometimes that means hanging out with the girl who's already got a boyfriend or the girl who's not very attractive and you're not interested in but uh your role is to keep her busy whilst the other guys are picking up the girl or whatever that is this becomes part of the kind of tribal code and as you guys forge these alliances and work well for each other and uh with each other then everyone benefits massively get yourself a good wing number eight is open mindedness most people would like to consider themselves open minded it's it's rare that someone says you know what i'm really proud of that i'm close minded that i'm rigid in my attitudes and i'm unwilling to learn anything new i think often people consider themselves to be open minded and they see that as a virtue but they don't really know what that means in the realm of like getting good with seduction open mindedness means actually very critically analyzing the belief structures that you have the thought processes that you have carried with you for most of your life and that you have perceived to be truth and to challenge those and in many cases to be willing to throw them out completely and allow new ideas or beliefs to replace them because they're more effective i know for myself when i got into this early on i i had to do some deep soul searching and start to question a lot of my deep preconceptions about female sexuality in particular about what it meant to be an attractive male i had to look at my pride about certain aspects of my personality that i thought was awesome and realized that it wasn't actually awesome so things such as early early beliefs that i had things like women really only have sex if they have an emotional connection with a man or if they have sex outside of that it's because they were tricked it's because they were taken advantage of or exploited in some way or that they are weak in some way and they would and that a man took advantage of that weakness that was one of the early beliefs that took me quite a long time to really challenge because i was brought up in to have a lot of respect for women and to feel protective for them but also not to really not to really give them much autonomy i didn't perceive that they had as much independence as they do and i thought that they that they were really susceptible to exploitative men and therefore and i and i had attitudes around what it meant for a woman to have sex i didn't believe that a woman could just have sex with a man for physical pleasure i didn't believe women could do that in a way that was healthy i didn't believe that women would sometimes just want to have a mate a friend who they had sex with sometimes like they i didn't have room in my mind for this kind of belief because it it was shocking to me it was scary i didn't i wasn't really willing to understand the depth and complexity of what female sexuality was so this is just one kind of example of like a place where i was actually fairly closed-minded and rigid hey there uh i had very specific ideas and i and there was a philosophy behind them and i thought it was a good thing you know because i was a i was a i was a white knight i was a guy who wanted to protect women and look after them and therefore i didn't allow them to look after themselves i didn't allow them to be the messy complicated animals that they are actually who are sometimes looking for love and deep connection and sometimes looking for a piece of dick right and so as over time i actually challenged these beliefs and and started to source evidence for the contrary position or for more complex positions i started to see different levels of truth and from those levels of truth women started to perceive me in a different way because i could accept that a woman could have sex casually then i could go and have sex with her casually right i could be that kind of guy who was non-judgmental who was allowing her to be what she had to be i wanted to be and uh that i was really reading the reality of the situation as opposed to imposing my viewpoints on them right so open-mindedness is a is a nice concept but it's only really real if you're actually trying on new beliefs if you're trying new behaviors and not in a way of like okay i'm just kind of testing it to already uh to already back up the thing that i already believe but like a scientist who is who's trialing out theories being willing being willing to have an experience where you see that okay that whole way that i perceive physics now needs to be thrown out the door and now there's a new truth in town right so anyone who is dogmatic who is heavily invested in a certain philosophical or behavioral outcome and has very rigid world views on it won't be able to accept another worldview into their life as a result they can't take the benefits of that new worldview i've had to multiple times throughout my development reassess completely the way that i think about masculinity about seduction about women about sex all these things i keep getting confronted with new levels of truth as i over time i i hope become more and more open-minded less and less attached to a rigid position and less attached to the idea that there is such thing as one truth and i think the truth is a slippery slippery thing and it has many many representations and people who decided that they know the truth don't have now collapsed all other possibilities so if you want to get good at this you're going to probably have to challenge long-held beliefs and they can be beliefs that are tied deeply into your sense of identity and that's usually why people won't actually in an open-minded challenge their own belief structures because they see that if they were wrong or that there was many other right ways of thinking that then they would have to rethink their life they might have to look back and go shit i actually wasted some of my life or yeah i was operating from a position that was completely delusional or fuck i was wrong about that right and that's something that a lot of people not very good at doing they have too much pride in what they think and what they believe and so they don't get to experience other levels of truth you want to be good at this you may have to throw out huge chunks of what you thought was true in order to find out what is actually true or even if it's not like the objective permanent you know universal truth something that's effective and works for you number nine is sexual mastery there's almost nothing that gives you such a sense of confidence and certainty when you're meeting a woman approaching a woman as the knowledge that if you get her alone you get her in a bedroom that you are going to blow her fucking mind if you're able to satisfy a woman at a much higher level than the average man then everything that you do is going to be simpler this is really about having the end game in place meaning that all of the steps that lead up to that are going to be much much more simple and i've seen this with guys who've had little sexual experience or don't feel so confident in the bedroom that i've coached often what they do is actually sabotage situations where they would be able to get physical with a girl because there's an underlying uncertainty there's an underlying fear that if they do get a girl in the bed that it's not going to go so well now i know that this is a bit of a catch 22 right so if you don't if you're not a sex master how do you become one all right if you're not not someone who's supremely confident in the bedroom how are you going to get into situations where this can happen well this this is uh the process of seduction bringing escalation bringing sexual intent into your interactions straight from the beginning means that you will be stepping into this world more and more often a lot of guys when they first start learning seduction they look at it like okay i need to go and learn approaching first all right makes sense okay i don't know how to approach girls so i get some material maybe i get coaching or watch some videos and i start going out and trying to say hi and get into a conversation and then they think all right if i get that then then i can move into the conversation aspect and maybe if i do that then i can move into the getting the numbers and then from there i can move into the getting the dates and and looking at it in this linear form where i need to master one step or get competent at one and then move to the next move to the next and that there's this long chain of events and skills i need to get before i get girls into the bedroom and then if i get her in the bedroom and then she leaves my life then i have to come around and start the whole thing again now on one level that's true okay we do need to move through all these stages but the guy that gets really good at this the guy that has a profound sexual effect on women is the one that views it as being sexual from the start all right so when i meet a girl and i go and say hi it might be something simple i'm not necessarily always being verbally super direct as i mentioned before but if i go up there and i start something with her when i hold her hand i hug her hand i look into her eyes and i think feel project sexuality yeah i imagine her naked if i'm getting her number i touch her lightly on the shoulder and allow my hand to melt into her skin if i'm asking her out on a date i do it in a way where even if it's simple like hey i want to get a cup of tea with you in that moment i'm feeling my attraction for i'm projecting it through to her then when i'm going out on a date with her when i meet her for the first time i don't walk up to her and go oh hi you know nice to see you and you know i just shall we shall we go to the date and keeping things really formal right away i'll be being tactile i'll be escalating i'll be starting to create a physical dynamic and physical relationship with the girl from the beginning in this way it's always sexual all right and and for a guy who doesn't have a lot of experience in the bedroom you can start to get a lot of experience with sexual eye contact with touch with leadership with flirtation with verbally stating sexual interest we're talking about sex these can be things that you can bring into your interactions even if you're not taking the girl into the bedroom right so i would the for a guy who's has limited experience start trying to think of the whole interaction as sexual now i don't mean that you're always talking about sex or that's been you kind of rudely being blunt about this all the time it's just the implication the underlying sense of this is sexual that's what a seduction is it's not a friendly conversation that ends with you trying to make some weird move and that's a that's a common mistake the guys do in dating is that they they don't make their intention felt until right at the end of the date where they lurch into have a kiss or try and grab a boob or something like that this is not foreplay this is not building sexual tension sexual mastery develops from making your interactions overall sexual now of course there's there's the big difference between that and then when we're actually in bed and all the sexual technique and the the mindsets and the understanding of female anatomy and all that kind of stuff that goes into becoming a great lover now i can't this is a whole products or a whole workshops worth of stuff that i could talk about here but on basic level i know for myself i became good in bed when i started with humility just accepting that i wasn't great right when i was first being sexually sexually active in my teens and early twenties and i was having some haphazard results and sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad and and i realized that i could be a lot better at this and i want to be i want to be a fantastic lover and that should be your a major motivation of you of yours as i said at the beginning of this list curiosity is one of the most powerful things and in this level a sexual curiosity and a and a desire to please a woman as well as please yourself to really enjoy sex to be for it to be a full body sensual experience where both of you have mind-blowing experiences that should be your aim if your aim is to like fuck girls and come you know to just like get your rocks off or to kind of take sex from somebody and not to give a shit about how she experiences it or what is the the potential possibilities that you could have in the bedroom you won't be a good lover so the first you become a good lover by actually wanting to become a good lover by then finding a sexual mentor and preferably what you want to find is a girl who you find attractive doesn't have to be the girl of your dreams but a girl who's friendly fun is more sexually experienced than you or at least very willing to explore home body and then spend some time with her right so i've met some guys who've had got into pick up and got kind of good at one night to picking girls up in bars and having lots of one night stands and they rarely see the girl again and then they're just not very good in bed i've talked to female friends who for example dated a lot of musicians who are really cool dudes or really cool barman who got laid a lot but the girls complain that these guys were the worst in bed because they're really really hot and they were playing a band and working a bar or something and they got laid every Friday Saturday Sunday night they just didn't put in any effort because they didn't give a shit if the girl had any pleasure and they just did their thing and as a result they were not good lovers now okay a guy like that might be able to get away with it because he's he's very well installed in a certain social scene where he can burn through girls but i mean but to me even if that was possible i wouldn't want that kind of sexual life so what i did early on i think i was 20 year two-ish i met a girl who was a bit older than me more sexually experienced we got into bed the sex was i knew was just average i knew that she was like no okay he doesn't know what he's doing and instead of being proud about it or being ashamed of it i just said to a hey listen i know that wasn't probably the best you've ever had i really want to be good in bed so can you just teach me how to do this or show me what you really like and uh and don't worry about my feelings just like show me and i won't take it personally and uh i'll cook your dinner every night for a week or over a several weeks i think it was and so we made this deal and so she became my sex teacher and she taught me what it was that she really liked and we and we learned to communicate and talk in the bedroom and for me to really become sensitive and aware of myself to get out of my head out of this i'm trying to do these things and move through these positions or achieve something and to get really sensitive and aware and to learn how to please her and that's something that i've continued to do throughout my life even though now i've had a lot of experience being with lots of different types of girls and i'm i know what i'm doing uh each new woman when i'm with her i do try and learn about her body i ask questions uh i find out about her fantasies i observe very carefully the responses that her body uh makes when i touch her and so on so you must become a fucking fantastic lover if you want women to keep coming back to you as well uh if you blow woman's mind and it doesn't take so much like if you learn how to give a girl an orgasm and you last longer than the average guy which is kind of three to five minutes of penetrative sex is kind of the the average which is abysmal it's not good that's not enough if you can learn to last longer in in the bedroom and to really understand a woman's anatomy and to be able to communicate with her and give her what she what she desires then she will remember you forever she will come back to you time and time again uh she may like you may be the go-to guy that she whenever she breaks up with a boyfriend she comes back to you for good sex or uh you know she sees you as the fuck buddy and there's all sorts of amazing roles you can play in a woman's life but if you and if you are a fantastic lover she will want you to play those roles in the life right so make sure you make that a priority however it is you need to learn it whether it's through instructional courses or coming in learning uh from a course with me or it's finding a girl that you like that's friendly that's willing to communicate and learning together number 10 on my list of vitally important fucking amazing things that will help you get laid and have a great life is this take the feedback the reality is that the world life and women have been trying to teach you how to get good at seduction and good at life your entire life that there is all sorts of feedback that's being presented to you constantly and especially when you go out and start approaching girls that will instruct you on what is the way to make corrections what are the things that work and don't what are the mindsets and activities belief structures words types of touch all this stuff that works and doesn't work I mentioned earlier in this video that one thing we have to do is approach girls right you have to go and meet strangers and I also talked about in the previous video the 10 things that don't work warning against mass approaching right so here what I'm saying is maybe you think I'm saying contrary contradictory things where on the one hand I'm saying okay you've got to go out there and meet lots of girls but don't just go and hammy yourself up against a wall repeating the same thing over and over again and that's what I'm getting at here I've approached a lot of women and when I when I spent my first two years of doing this I was meeting girls every day but I wasn't meeting dozens of girls every day I wasn't smashing through endless amounts of approaches hoping that just just numbers would somehow make improvements what I did do was I learnt very quickly to take the feedback from the girls in the ways that they were presenting their corrections to me I didn't have any mentors when I first started out I didn't have a great dating coach I didn't the the methodology that was around when I started was mystery method and stuff that I hypno stuff that I wasn't interested in I thought was bullshit there was no natural game instructors when I started so the only people that I could learn from were the girls that I was talking to really and later on seeing other guys who were good and starting to figure out what were the principles they were using to get good but I increased my ability very very fast because I had spent a long time meditating before this I developed my meditation skills to the point where I was very self-aware even though I was missing out on vital skills or understandings about seduction I was very aware of myself of what was going on inside my own body and my mind my emotions and as a result I had less white noise going on up here less tension so that when I was interacting with a girl I had more social awareness or expansive awareness learning awareness meditation is good for understanding what's going on internally but it's also amazing for clearing space and being able to watch very carefully what is the responses that you're getting from girls how you're affecting someone and I learned very early on that the best way to get good at this was to view every single approach as a learning experience to try to take the feedback from every experience and that's not always easy because often the thing that you try to take is a win or is an ego boost and it can be very common that you're going to meet girls who are going to reject you they're going to be rude or dismissive or blank you and that's hurtful to your ego you know if you go and try to say hi to a girl and she doesn't even look at you if you've had that experience it kind of hurts because you're like what I'm not even worth a fuck you I'm not even worth looking at the girls just like me whatever that is I'm not interested and so often the initial response to that is to feel some kind of resentment or aggression or self-defense where you're like well fuck that bitch she's she's gonna be rude like that I'll go and find a girl that's nice yeah that's that's her problem I tried to early on and I've certainly had moments like that and I still occasionally occasionally get hit with a response from like ah fucking fuck you but more often than not I try to dispassionately and objectively step back from my ego and observe okay what are the actual mechanisms at play here I learned how to be a good seducer and particularly a man who is good at approaching by very carefully watching the responses that I got from the girls when I came in and I spoke really fast and I saw that she was getting overwhelmed by things or I came in and I was a little bit too close or I didn't use any kind of pre-frame and I just started rambling into my into my opener and I noticed all these different responses she shuts down she gets defensive she looks confused all of this stuff that helped me to learn to calibrate all right because I was watching carefully okay when I go in there and I say too many words in a row it doesn't really work because she doesn't hear the first few and she gets overwhelmed all right cool I'll take the feedback and when I'll go in I'll just go hi and wait and then speak more slowly all right and so a simple thing like taking that piece of feedback allowed me to slow down my interactions so that the girl could pay proper attention to me right and this goes through every element of your dating life and seduction life and and definitely when you move into relationships trying to understand the feedback that women are giving you because they don't always give it to you in clear logical verbal sequences which can be kind of frustrating when you when you're trying to figure out what is a problem say with a girlfriend you're going okay what is the issue here can we logically discuss this and she's uh you know feeling a whole lot of emotion and she's not making logical sense in her words but you need to be able to read her emotion and understand okay in this situation she doesn't need me to solve the problem logically she needs to see that I'm man enough to hold hold her in this in this space so that she can settle down for example right so there are all sorts of ways that the world is constantly giving you feedback guys come to me and they pay me because they want the blunt feedback right because not it's not always the case that uh people will your friends will tell you that you shake hands too hard or that your breath stinks or that you repeat back everything that the girl says when she says something right that's my job is to be the guy that gives dozens of pieces of this feedback in a very very clear way but even if you don't have a mentor there explaining each of these pieces the world is trying to teach you stuff and a lot of the times people don't want to hear it because going back to the keeping an open mind aspect uh oftentimes the feedback comes up against your worldview right so if you're for example you're a guy a nice guy a white knight guy who thinks that the best way to kind of get a girl's attention is to do all these gentlemanly things to write her a poem or to try and buy her expensive things or lavish her with praise right and you and you believe that that is the way the world should be and that you know all these assholes out there who are treating women badly and not you know not showing them respect and I don't want to be like that guy so I'm going to be the prince charming all the time and so you try and do that you meet a girl and she kind of likes you and then you put in too much effort and then she gets runs away and the feedback she's giving you is too much too soon buddy freaked me out and yet you don't take the feedback you're like oh why don't women appreciate you know a good guy why is it that she's you know like it's just like another this always happens to me women just don't seem to be able to see when there's a really nice guy come into their life and uh you know and then it comes along again you're like all right I'll try harder and I'll write a better poem and I'll put more money into it and I'll do all this put all this effort when the feedback is saying from the women whether they tell you probably they won't but just by their actions is I feel uncomfortable when you invest too much in me too soon because that suggests to me that you're needy and clean that you're putting too much effort in I feel uncomfortable so I'm going to leave now all right and if you don't take that feedback you'll keep repeating that same mistake over and over again keep getting the same response all right so it's very important to not be invested in your beliefs in your truths in the way that you think the world should be but to accept that the world is if it's teaching you things telling you things over and over again that it's time to listen otherwise you just bang your head against a wall and get very frustrated and eventually very resentful with women and become a cynic all right so that's the end of my list for today 10 incredible things if you implement all of these things in your life then you have no doubt going to get extreme success in your dating life I know a lot of them are complete areas in themselves just me telling you in 10 minutes all right do this it's it's some of these things have taken me many years to master but they are the definitely the areas that I've seen over time have the biggest effect I hope you enjoyed my top 10 list of incredible things that are going to improve your sex life forever if you'd like to take this to deeper and deeper levels then you should stay tuned and check out the relaunch of the five principles of natural seduction this is my most popular online course to date one that had an incredible response and effect on the guys who took it well over a year ago when I last launched it and now I'm re-releasing the product once again a five-week online course with a whole bunch of revamped and tweak material taking all the feedback from the guys that did the course last time if you'd like to stay up to date with the launch which is happening very soon and to also receive some amazing behind-the-scenes bonus material you just need to put your email in the link below and I'll be in contact with you very soon with full details