 Welcome back to the 85 You know if you know this but this has been voted the number one show that black people have After two o'clock in the morning That sounds good. I thought you're gonna say 2 p.m. Yeah, that's my job every week I have to go out and find something that we number one at what I have to do a lot of research online I have to look in the arm and neck Survey hitting me on email Then I type some shit up on the old-school typewriter mail it off right email it. Yeah Cold calls before nine o'clock right. I do my part. I Do my part you do? Yeah So shit, we just gonna keep the street going. I agree. This ain't your first time But you weren't here giving us good game today. Yes. Yeah, and I'm actually Proud of you guys We got to give them the intro to you guys. I would say we got right man. It's like I feel like legend a heavy This one of them comedy outcomes man, like you said back in them days this When you know when that comic you miss on at the height of it Yeah, when it was when it was the best when you didn't want to miss it You know coming to you when it first started these we call BT coast to coast So what they'll do they will come in town with the cameras and tape you at a club and then take it back and edit it And show it on BT see this had go and the DL was the host back when you see only you know this type That's why you you comedy icon one of the goats if they made a Mount Rushmore comedy man You damn sure will be on it. I got it all about triple triple. Oh gee. Yeah, 35 years in the game 31 she was doing comedy before you was protein before my daddy was fucking with my mom But they none other man none other than the comedy legend First came don't let it be the last time here. We are again. Yes, sir already dropping good game You know last time we taught you talk about disco duck and you know Kabirian ain't this cold dog. It was so many great It was probably gotta ask you about everybody man. Yeah, lots of people says he loves dirty south Tyler Craig Yeah, man. Yeah, and you know he's big comedian name. He's come on. He had a little carry say hello My name is Larry D. Bill Jr. The third and that was his character you use on stage He say if he say they say I can't speak good, but that's how you talk He said I say well, I say he's not working at McDonald's. I say hello. Welcome to McDonald's. Would that be for here of there? He had funny skit, but they that's all they got that's like I tell everybody when these young cats You're gonna you're gonna do your social media and you're gonna do some things on social media Are you gonna do about five minutes? It's hilarious, but please have something else to give the people You want to mention because when when these people come to see you they want to see more than just that Let's get together. Yes, sir. You know I'm saying I think it's great. That's right. You got to have it man You got to have it so how do you feel because you know, I stood at the game like you said I don't like to watch people because of I don't want to take nothing away Right. I like to study How they formulated the joke How they said the joke. Mm-hmm. Okay, this their style of coming I know I had and I had to realize and the reason why I like to study because I had to realize what type of comedian I Was right and I realized, okay. I'm wrong. Yeah, I ain't I ain't cleaning up. I ain't You you invite me to a church It might be a damn or shit that may slip out but get what we don't pray We don't pray the end but but long as you're comfortable with who you are, right doing your common comedy Because that's how it's gonna be successful. Now if you're uncomfortable doing it, it's gonna look uncomfortable They don't see it's not real, but if you're real doing it, it's gonna come across It's like the tail when it's not true. Yeah, you know, I do churches all the time You know like the preachers, you know, I'm back for you. I need you to come over and do the church I'll say why How much they paying do it for the law? I say if I come near church, I'm doing it for you I'm already doing it for the Lord. Okay, you better get this money player. Yeah, I would say man. You got your goddamn You get the big church is they don't do that, right like, you know, the big church They say well, they call it a love off right, you know, I'm saying you don't even know what you're gonna Get I've been sure they gave me $20,000 check Mm-hmm. So how do you stay 20 balls? How do you stay fresh? So when it comes to we're living in a time now social media speeds up the process of us Actually, I'll tell my agent So it's like I we get a joke and he'd be like, ooh, we got time to practice, but you but They don't put it on Facebook ten times people don't see me before they actually came in seated in person Then when they seen in the person they love it, but it's like you can't take it with you the extra two three years I just to keep adding to the joke. Just keep punching it up. Just keep making the sound new and new Because if I had social media 35 years ago, let me tell you I had an ass machine and a voice company Yeah, I had checking messages. Who called me? We did that. That's all we had and radio You know what I'm saying? We did TV. We thought it was on top of that man. Yeah, you know They just put your shit on the radio all the time Yeah Just keep adding to it, but jokes never die. Just keep adding to it. It's like music You can go see frankie bevel. You go see all these old cats. They're still doing the same It's because people still want to see it number that sometimes they might do it a little different They might tweak it, but it's still the same people with this good is good You ever notice people don't remember comedians that are in between. I always remember something really funny Somebody's really bad. They don't know the in between in there. Who's it was the in between? Shit, I don't know. I forgot his name, but the dude that bombed that That's the one I thought I want to talk to you about. They remember that You know, so what about the sets when when you can tell that the crowd Didn't heard it or the promoters like I'm tired of hearing that shit. I ain't booking that nigga no more He's saying that you're somebody like you thought I heard your own jokes. No, not my shit I'm just saying like you I just listen if some of the promoters be like I ain't booking that motherfucker no more man Hold on. Let me tell you from my experience You get you got been doing it twice as low as me It don't matter if you're it's some comedians. They don't have no two sins Right sometimes they can put the right shit on and dress that shit up, right? Every last one of them motherfuckers work like they brand new Yeah, but sometimes they motherfuckers gonna eat the ground It's all in about how they stand in that shit. Yeah, some motherfuckers ain't gonna get booked off They don't get booked off tapping They get booked off they friends with these motherfuckers They don't you got to keep everybody don't have to do this like they don't got this shit planned out Where it's like nigga If i'm cool with six promoters And they give me three shows a piece Nigga i'm working all year Erin nigga ain't working every weekend Some motherfuckers like shit. I take a show a month But I work every weekend you get what i'm saying it like some motherfuckers gonna flow past But some motherfuckers gonna really have to go get it and all the comedy clubs I hit once a year But if you want me three times a year about this i do every comedy club once a year and Theaters i split it, you know i might do like this first part of the year from january to may i'm doing all theaters and then From on down i'm doing a lot of comedy clubs That's how i split it up. So i like to go back if i go to the city I like to win at least eight to nine months before i go back bruce What was your favorite city like when you first went on go on the road leaving that including lennard not yeah houston texas houston texas Huston houston was the houston a whole lot of different right now I'm gonna tell you another city you will believe because most people don't believe what i say this But the start on in berniehan, but what that motherfuck off the chain start on in berniehan is off the chain That bitch off the chain anywhere in halibut Bruce Ayers on it and he talked to you this close You know Bruce back up This club is out of sight it's one of the best clubs in the world And in the south in berniehan you tell people don't know if they're like Bramham, bro It's the way it's set up. It's like a mini mini theater and it's levels of people just sitting there and you can see it all alabama You can see and the police do not fuck around. No, they don't I feel like they're all alabama. I feel like alabama appreciate coming Yeah, they do they do and start on been there for 50 years, I think right so that oh, so it's always been the start and it got on the club. That's where you're from new jersey from from love time With this with the school in the south and stayed and stayed there. Yeah. Yeah, that's the nose Because you know, they think bernieham is still red clay mud. That's the mansion. Oh, yeah In bernie. They don't build bernieham up. Yes, it did. He got some of that black pussy. I know. I know what kept Probably yes, he did. Yeah, I ain't going back up that should make it where you closed it Some of that magic city classic From that school You know, it's other company clubs out there that are really good like the front of all was a good the um Improv's are good. I do all of them. Um sell them out I've did houston company club that it was it was smaller before It's seated like 300 people now to see 600 And I done did like 10 shows in that One week I had went on the run and I'm uh, I won't say the name of this particular Brand of comedy clubs one time Why now you book a few young back and back do they have two comedy club? I don't want to say the name I still be working in there. Okay But I had one particular stop What a negative the manager, you know how the manager So to do the sentiment after you do the right, right? He tried to short me. Oh, that's why you don't want to say a whole lot of bread But this motherfucker was clearly a drug addict and I was like I can't believe Y'all fucking got a whole drug addict running the club like this one Clearly sound like a club in west virginia. This one was clearly on that shit and tried to short me So he can buy the shit. I'm like Where I made them motherfuckers stay there all night calling motherfuckers to get my money Let me let me tell you what happened to me one time years and years ago He used to be a funny bone and bucket in lm on p3, right? Well p3 And rose a rose split when I put the punchline it No, that's right when it split with it. I'm built that new little male roles Shopping mall right there. You know talking about who yet? So I went up there in my Frito Lake truck And you had to audition to do amateur like right? So I went up there like that and I went up there to audition so the lady can't come in the office Big girl look like a russian prostitute. He said She was like She was round, you know, like even like your uh, you know bake cakes and stuff and um She called me the office. I'm thinking she's gonna have me on stage. She calls me the office to say do me a minute in 33 seconds I'm like, okay. I said right here. She said right here. I started doing comments. She's on the computer. She's looking at the watch She's on the computer. She's looking at the watch. She's trying to see Cannot follow instructions. I did a minute 33 second. She said, okay, you did good. You can come back night at 8 o'clock I got out to the truck. I said, fuck this bitch. I ain't going back up to that club. So years later went by I go do this club in ohio Dayton, ohio It was called what was the club called because she but it was I did this club I walked in and I and um Did very well and I seen this later. I said, I know this bitch from someone Right So when it was time to pay me She told me she said I'm not going to pay you to me get your phone number Because I'm a I'm attracted to big black guys But I say I happen to be a racist I said, I do not like white people at all And and she said, oh no, you you're not racist. You're not ready. She said I used to manage a funny ball in Atlanta And when he clicked I said, it's this bitch that made me audition. It's like 15 years later Don't say so I didn't say You know, I she said you you ever went to the front of my lap? I said never been that in my life But she's the one that made me audition for She still wanted to dig a lane 15 years I remember me and Carlos did a show I ain't gonna say where is that because we both go down to this day. No, we won't go there Packed out all weekend The way our deals were set up. It was just the way our deals were set up. But They was static because all the money they made, right? Oh, yeah, so He got his check and I got my check And they made more money than us all food. Yes, they did. So I looked at los I said los We tripping I think it's time for us to up the ante because We got it We uh, we just settled because this is what we were doing But I was like, nah, we got to take control of our goddamn brand and our business We can't go for the deal that we just been going through the past six months We got to come in here and if damn nobody times you to go on about your way And I got to go on by my way. We were doing it together. But it was like We need more than this and we need to have a bigger percentage And this is what we need to do and never since that day For those days out But this is what you got to do You remember this whatever the door do the food and drinks is going to double it, right? I was at one club. I remember yeah, I was at one club and uh, the guys were gonna pay me and he was on the computer He said I'll be right back and I looked at the computer Really the door made 78,000 Food and drinks was 190,000 So something's wrong with that picture. I'm like, what the hell am I getting pimped like a mother? Yeah, I'm gonna get pimped. Oh, yeah, you got pimped. But when I came back the next time though Yeah, I need all mine. Got to have it. We got to talk different They don't like that July 15th drunk off their line of full city drunk performing our seven Don't do that. Shit. No, he lived there They don't like that don't July 15th, all right. No Now put it in there. Come on. Tell them to come to the show July 15th So they don't think we left y'all gonna show up to that show Hey, what's up Chicago? It's your man Carlos Miller July the 21st. I will Be in the city full of omen, man. You know, I'ma be a derivative man If you didn't go to church today, don't worry. We got you. It's the blessings that's gonna come through here too Church ain't number three or more people anybody ever been know that Don't block your blessing in here. It might not be the it might not be your church blessing It might be like your hood blessing In here done called a hood blessing before Like when you're driving home and you see the police behind you for a little bit Then they hit the light and just scoot on besides. Yeah Yeah, that's a good blessing right there. So, you know, put your little clean outfit on Make sure you're lady looking good and pull up on your boat, man. We're gonna have a good time We're talking good in chicago. That's july the 21st. Come check up on me We're gonna be cleaner than a mug in that come see me At the end of the day, I'm on tour. So just make sure you get the tickets and how that man, you know, just come Have a good time. I see you when I get there What's up y'all? It's your girl Lex P And it's your girl's rain the call and y'all know orlando We owe y'all so we coming back in a big way august 10th poor minds is coming to orlando for our live show Yes, we coming to orlando improv. I cannot wait to see all y'all faces You know, unfortunately we had to reschedule these days. So I'm super excited to come out and see y'all Doors open in seven. Yes, and the show starts at eight and we back bigger than ever Let me tell y'all y'all should be happy because this show this round It's super lit. So orlando august 10th doors open at seven shows starts at eight orlando improv We'll see y'all and we outside boogie period put it on because we coming But see that's why that's why when they say Get the dough. We'll take we'll take care of the food because they know for a fact if you keep them sitting down They're gonna eat drink All night long All night long. I sold out You had the you had the most chicken sold in uh, the pleasant Yeah, I beat you by a pound by a pound Let me tell you this you ever heard a comedian named James Gregory Yes, he's white dude real southern And he tell you he talked like this. It was two old brothers, you know, and then you know, they had never been to the city You know when he do the star now he only do the southeast Country clubs they don't even know I'm up north But when he go to the start on he do the whole month Mm-hmm. He do all four weeks When he go to Tennessee, he do all he do once a month. He said they have to bring a butt wiser truck 18 willow and parking in the parking lot 100,000 They say they don't say how much liquor but they sell a lot of beer them good old boys, you know god damn He's fun in the motherfucker You know what I'm saying, but he is his name is James Gregory. He doesn't got up an age now, but he's still funny man All the clubs in the south And he do one he do one club a month Make a hundred thousand a month Man, you was on uh, you probably you remember you was on coming to the stage, too Yes, I host that show Yeah A host coming to the stage You know when I fought with you the extra hard you check master feet about that shit. Yeah Well, he was like, I don't want to do Bruce Bruce here I don't want to Bruce Bruce here. I say because you can't do nothing with it after Bruce Bruce here What you talking about? You know what I'm saying? You don't want to be on shit man You know what I'm talking about? I'm scared you're gonna beat me up What you reminded us of? No, we got those karate on your ass I've been practicing this shit for three days. I fucked him up But you know ATL we from ATL we we show love to everybody music. That's how we are people You know asking me how y'all how y'all do such I said man we show love in ATL when when um Two short made All the skinny girl led Bruce Bruce here. Yes, sir. And then yin yang came back say get crunk with it get loose Like short said Everybody always show love man staple and wrap big and put me in a song I was uh In Jacksonville, Florida And there's a club called club carousel. It's closed now and I had to open up for big I never met him. I was on stage joining me, but and he put me in a song hypnotized And they say Bruce Bruce who? uh They say Bruce Bruce who do something to us talk goes through us girls want to do us screw us who meet poppy and pop And he and he told me he said, oh, but put you about shit for real, you know You're gonna make me go back and listen to that He said Do something to us talk goes through us But I never were putting two and two together. Yeah So it's always love man, and that's that's what it's all about. It's showing love You gotta be no fool But if you can help a person for that dope, it's a mother for Every rapper a long time. Let me tell you something Mike else My right hand man Mike called me here left Atlanta and moved to new york. He said man He wanted me to audition for fridays. I said, what are you waiting on? And he said man, I don't know. I said man. He looked for something like you He called me a week later. He said guess what? I said, you got the part He got the part and he took off like a rocket. Don't go You just need that push sometimes, you know what I'm saying? And let people know you believe in a man and Encourage them because no hate. Yeah, you wouldn't never want that type of shit You know like a real og even though you were slick young in this You never noticed you never heard anything about me I ain't never heard nothing bad. Yeah, you gonna hear that I don't play that man I don't want anybody to my be you think I'd be a little over here probably talking about me Man, I fight anybody on that show You know what I'm saying, but you just you can stay clean and make money Because you brought up. No, he'll bring up But I'm saying it always was solid shit when they talk about you dirty south. I took her to the pommel She's you're gonna roll me. Oh man Man how she was in the pommel crazy Dirty sound way by 92 pounds back in the day She was can take her leg and put it all we just hold it up in there like that way by 92 pounds Shawty Shawty, they thought they were brothers and sisters people thought they were brothers and sisters But they look at him now. They're making a living. They do it. They're doing great things, man. Yeah And um, I'm proud of them. You're a pioneer, man. Pioneer, you know, I'm like you guys, man I'm proud of you got I'm pretty sure they told me that once you come on the show I y'all don't know I was here eight or more, but they told me I'm sitting up five They said, no, no eight to nine. I said, okay. I'm gonna be there, man Because I love this texture. I like to see people win. Right. It's all about winning and that's what Camino's got to understand about comic clubs. You see him brag But if you're not selling tickets, you can't put asses in the seat people not making money Need to make money and then you come back and do it again next year You know what I'm saying? Just do it next year But everybody they people so arrogant And thinking they all that and you can't see off all the two tickets Right. Right. Sell it out, man. Get down. Can't give away for it. No, they have to pay for the room They got to pay for the room and then they got to make the money off the food and drinks You know what I'm saying? And you came from an era when motherfucker one sharing the stage one doing what pulling it on One doing nothing. I see I see dude there go up front of you and and do too much time on purpose Oh, you can't you know, so you can't do your stuff, you know, and that's not the way you do it That ain't cool. I ain't cool, man. I had one show man. I was doing man. I was in Florida and uh Do supposed to do Like 25 minutes. He on the island 10 So I promote. I said, man, you gonna get your boss take old brew brew baguette skin because he ripped it I say man, let me tell you something from a business standpoint. This is a union theater This show got to be over level by a certain turn So when I came off, I say when he came off stage, I say Since I'm scared You already done paid me. Do you want me to do the 17 minutes? He left me to do Or you want me to do the 45 minutes you paid me to do Because see when you go over 11 o'clock, they charge the motor fire. I'm on the minute every time you go over And that would have been on him. He said do 17 minutes. I can hear right Do 17 I would do 45 just to show you I'm scared player drop the mic Take a bill with a big 500,000 The people man and me because they feel We can't see bro But see that's the thing you got a name with like back when comedy was coming up Like if you hear your name or bruise, bruise gonna be like they going like you certain people, you know You gotta tell what they been in like Who you don't such as such on Man, I'm gonna see that Well, I have fun on stage man. I really do man. I enjoy watching you as a young in as a young in who didn't understand Half the shit that y'all was saying and then some of the stuff I did you gotta say I'm nine 10 watching comedy view And I'm like these motherfuckers having fun on stage every time y'all don't stay And you were the best you were the best host when you know, and it paid me better than anybody. Um I Like And when I came in I had to write people on my team. They gave me a hundred thousand 100 balls women 100,000 for my clothes They have clothes made they paid me having me Mm-hmm Y'all say what I'm saying So what I did I made sure everybody that was on my team working with me. I made sure they were taking care of Because see as long as you you give give it's gonna come back You cannot beat god giving the more you get him or he'll give back You can't do that 35 years. We didn't do anything. That's right, man. So you got to take care of you. You cannot have Carlos and dc doing and then not pay them and then think they still supposed to be cool Ain't nobody cool with that. Mm-hmm paid me and keep it moving. You're gonna get it back How do you see him? How do you see him? Like I said, I had the right people on my team. So they call white people, you know, I'm saying They make sure I had a hundred thousand dollars just for my clothes I'm having suits made and that's what them niggas was getting paid. And you know, and then that's his They pay me a half a meal to do coming view, but I went down the way we did it. It was in New Orleans and We was there for 30 days. I did five shows a day all We didn't start the process that said I was off Monday and Tuesday and I had my man ronaldo ray Who was really coaching me like a mentor show me everything and then they came back It was the next year my enemy called the caliente and they had an sj. Hosted. They called me back to happen So once again You're on tv Now material is being shown on television. That's right And like you said, you're doing five shows This is a lot of being funny On time I as a professional Not knowing what you're going through in life, but you got to go on stage and handle your business Now with this material that you're saying, you know what y'all can have Yeah, because I still got the material on dvd right now everything I did on bt I got all that material that I did now. I was just doing stuff that was on the news You know current events crowd work So I could do a joke now on president binding how he fell back and the lady called him But it really didn't happen. I made the shit up I'll see you fell back real soon lady called me. Thank you very much. And and then donald trump Say, I wish my wife was here. He didn't realize she was sitting right there He's I wish my wife was here. I said the bitch is right there And he won't even see him. So I just made him No, my other wife Yeah, he'll give it now And I mean donald trump man, he just they believe everything you say When he said make america great again one of them. Oh, they ate that up. He been voted in 50 years came out and voted for him But you know, that's the way that's the way we live Somebody's in traffic today. They still got the trump and pentstick on they I'm like, bro Don't take that shit on man. Oh such a bullshit Everybody all the white people in america that he helped everybody And why you fuck with trump? He's the only person that can help the blacks and they believe that Hey, especially when he gave a goddamn The what up? No, no, no, no, yeah. Well, he said that money too I like Trump may be mad as them niggas make a fool out of their minds. They got a pvp That pvp have ruined a lot of people. I said I see this girl in the water house in fig field and uh, she She came over to the table and she walked a real smart so strong with you She said I just went down to miami and got my breast uh, and i'm a stomach and my booty done to come make it work out Now she was eating uh, and I say When you get the money she said ppp I said can you count for that money that you got? She said well, I said, well, you're gonna be the finest bitch in jail I said because You don't got your whole body fit and you don't got six million The doctor still laughing at that bitch That's where we're playing stomach done everything has done She gonna be in jail fine as a motherfucker You know my people like brucey, you know, you can get the money you don't have to pay this back No, I don't I don't want you don't I don't want They gave my dumb ass cousin some money Well, it's a certain amount. Yeah, he ain't even 100,000 lends. They don't bother. Come on, man. You like see TV You know what time it is. You see queen city y'all in North Carolina. We coming to the boat jangle arena See how excited she was that's how excited y'all better be two like six six when we come to the qc come to the show Come on Yeah, see that Working on two things QC Shaw July 16 Oh jangles arena come to the show. Oh she She's gonna be doing She's gonna be doing dread kissing the parking lots if you want your dreads July 16, she's gonna do it for you at a discounted price if you get your tickets today By social media smelling incense Smell like cobalt butter made from scratch Come on in here, man. This is the third grade teacher and she will be giving out books Books for the kids Hey, what's up sam and toniel july 28 I'm gonna be down there at the empire theater. Don't let nobody tell you no difference If you didn't go to church today, don't worry. We got you. It's the blessings that's gonna come through here, too Church ain't number three or more people anybody ever been know that Don't block your blessing in here. It might not be the it might not be your church blessing It might be like your hood blessing In here don't call the hood blessing before Like when you're driving home and you see the polly behind you for a little bit Then they hit the light and just scoot on besides. Yeah Yeah, that's a good blessing right there. There's everybody sent until your man pull up on me July 28 You already know I'm gonna get the coming Santa and toniel off but when I do I'm in San Antonio And I'll come see you when you come see me What's up y'all? It's your girl lexp And it's your girls ready to call and Miami we coming to turn up. I'm excited I'm excited too. We've been long overdue for a Miami show And I can't wait to see y'all. It's the perfect way to kind of I guess in the summer because it's almost be over and it's like August 13th We're gonna be in Miami. Miami and prop shows doors open at seven show starts at eight Yes, and I'm telling y'all look this is right before my birthday too. So y'all know I'm finna be living Turning that I'm finna put it on for Miami. I'm telling y'all listen august 13th doors open at seven show starts at eight Miami improv y'all, please do not miss this show. Y'all know we're gonna have people popping up rolling up on us Miami it's gonna be fun. Welcome to Miami So I'm Miami Yes, you know What do you got love stupid one for to my heart and for a bus they have Shit Come on. What you getting for? Nah, you ain't gonna believe this shit For 20 to 100 That nigga shit won't be wet That nigga ain't blow it You can't tell that nigga ain't wet Again That's crazy I'm scared of that ppp. I ain't won't I told him for I was straight during the pandemic All my serious is in the fridge Even though I needed help on me You know, we were talking about early hot things going around and everything when I was younger man I was managing a restaurant. I told the barbecue restaurant in calm county. So I got Rob Do what they say? All right, y'all know what it is. You know what I'm saying? He robbed everybody the restaurant who was sitting there. He said what a manager they say he in office So I'm in office. I'm in there and uh, the way I had the safe setup I can turn the knob all the way to the left and open the safe But if I turn it to the right and lock it so I had to reopen it. So I got nervous. I turned it to the right I say man. I'm so trying to open the safe man giving the money nigga. I'm a kid. You know what I'm saying? I was looking I got kids man. I'm kid myself. I just I gave him the money man He left out of the man. I've seen this nigga in kroger 30 years later In casket. I say nigga, you robbed me He said man, I don't know that shit bad I was going to let shit bad He said man, I was going to keep him. I told you I was going to keep him. I was going to let shit bad And it was really him Rob shit Mom man, that dude took about I think I had to say about eight hundred dollars. He took all of us I was in kroger. I was at the produce. I said nigga, you robbed me like that. He was in produce Yeah, man, I was going to let shit bad He probably been robbed your ass again No, he's seen Jesus that day. You understand? He will see Jesus Yes, yes, sir. He will touch the hymn of his garden. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah He got wrong about it man talking to my But you know, he met these Mexicans got a hustle now, man What is They stand on the road with a poster and they had a wife and a kid And they say we need to pay our rent and they're like, I got in a call me like four times I gave money to the kids out here man. Go get them. I don't want to be seen like don't bring them kids into Don't like kids Damn my grown folks Because I know what you're talking about. I'll talk to your girl They grow for it I call them on break that little dude smoking a cigarette in the air We make it work Do you know Do you know they don't have a job, but they're gonna stand at home and people don't know He's talking about we make it work. Oh, shit What face they make, bro? Hey, my friend, how you doing? Bro, baby out there doing school work Don't tell me those are my kids That's a little bit of person Little bit of boy, man Bro, I be feeling sorry for my little kid. Have you had no kids sitting on the car boy? Hey, man, that poster would be perfect. Have y'all read the poster? I think they'd be perfect It's in English though But they can't speak no English, but the whole poster in English Hey, man, it's like they went to Kiko's copier Signing signing about they Friday, man, but it's got to be something to it because they got down time they get Different location, but I ain't scream I want to do it for you. I want to get a poster come out there and go out there. I didn't want to see They ain't gonna believe you You gotta have a good sky work. I want to see what it works. How my mother should be fun Is that'd be fun? That's a good ad content. I ain't ain't gonna lot of I ain't I ain't never get nobody no money Who had a dog? Well, I know that dog Had a place in LA for 28 years Every bomb I know had a dog up there. No Everyone I'm one dude walking in the 7-Eleven and I was in there. I thought we couldn't get wrong He said everybody throw your motherfucking hands in the air and wait Seven members and get your ass out get out of my condom so Get out of my store. He would land like but I had to give him five long You had a spot in Cali for 28 years 28 years That money man. Yeah, man. I had a place and I had a place in my first apartment was on Hollywood Boulevard between The bread Fairfax and then I moved in the Grove right by the farmers market between the bread Fairfax Yeah, 28 years No miracle You could do what you want to do man, you know, I got guys that work for me. I got a guy been with me 22 years The guy that used to be when he passed he would have been with me 28 years Through the pandemic. I paid him every week for two years. They was off for two years I paid him because if I didn't pay and they're gonna be borrowing money from it, so I said I've been on pay right better than the ppd law I just want to make sure they taking care of me. But just do right by me You know just do right by any moment. I can hit you up. I'm telling you man. I'm telling you man. I'm I don't have no problem no money Perfect. Yeah, I mean I took you know my Christmas. I took my family to On the cruise took 30 people How you do that? Because right now I'm about to cancel the trip I told him we were going I said We're going to Airbnb baby And I took 30 people and I took our body plane tickets and everything now in july we go on the diss the world Spirited No, we Talk your top and and um We wouldn't Someone know like package deal because I'm about to cancel this I pay very damn for my family my daughter and her husband my three of my grandkids. I got 10 grandkids and and um My wife and uh Social got six like that's my nephew right there with the dread and Oh, yeah Because I'm doing things in the family that we couldn't do we couldn't afford to do You remember you couldn't go the way your mother said we gotta stay at home You on the big case you went on y'all probably with the griffin to your aunt y'all But after all the vacation you go to your grandma Hold the spring break man. That ain't going out of town man. My baby mama's like what are you gonna do for the kids with spring break? I remember six flags was a dollar 95 sent to give you $1.95 said the next year we'll make it one of two 95 my mama say they don't know if they got there And they charge the two 95 to get us in play Man, she may not go. No one did no Let me tell you something man. We live in an apartment in the block paying 45 dollars a month right My mama My sister my uncle my mother says folk wrong people working. They went up 20 dollars on the rent My uncle called me He said these crackers don't last they got it there. He said somebody gotta get a second job He's ain't away in the hell. He's gonna be a core 65 And they was dead too. I was standing at the table. I said, that's a lot of money Got them 65 off like to kill Hey, hey, look Now other bottom cut was in 1970 convertible 442 455 power on the power of the Connor was $80 a month. Look shit financing two years The insurance was $2 extra My great-aided said brother Jason You get behind that's 160 god damn Like the law said motherfucker 12 times No, but we're the represented 12 times Man, I'm talking about fully equipped for the cut is now What is what man? You know what I'm saying? Hey, man, like the law said 12 times See the old player didn't play my granddad didn't play man Dawson he was black Roy your blue eyes I'm gonna talk. He didn't play no games. So my uncle went in the army 1967 Came home. Yeah green break. He had turds sideways and shit. He's gonna drive that cutler My granddad said you can't drive that cutler to get some insurance My great-aided my uncle said I'm grown. My great-aided said I'll write that when you're born He's what you ain't driving that culture. He gives me Monk's I'm a driver the way my great-aided said let me get through even the potato pot He didn't tell me how you feel So I'm thinking that my uncle gonna tan that's up. He just got out the army Man, my great-aided started them off through the yard like a lawnmower. No in uniform And then told him go in the house and get you something to eat. He didn't drive that damn car He was right Old school player He's screaming. He's about six seven eight now. He's lazy. You remember that man. My mom was a trip. He had a wife man She but I mean 600 pound ease He used to climb up in the tree and try to watch because he thought she was cheap My great-aided said that big-aided gal ain't really going to love her to the kitchen Hey, man, what's up, man? Carlos Miller. Oh, you know what time this boy DC on flushy gonna be Going to make it man. July 30th making Coliseum that's like you're making coliseum But you don't know we're gonna be making y'all laugh like a motherfucker. Fuck you. Tell him that don't talk about that back Get there early because you know the traffic and making me crazy Down there, so get them tickets hit the website and we'll see you and make you live 30 three had a month You know what's happening What's up, man? What's up, sir? Bye? Hey, what's up instant Texas July 29th you're making Carlos Miller. That's right. I'm coming down there We're gonna be at crack Foreman's hall make sure you grab those tickets and pull up on me if you didn't go to church today. Don't worry We got you. It's a blessings. That's gonna come through here too Church ain't number three or more people anybody ever been know that Don't block your blessing in here. It might not be it. It might not be your church blessing It might be like your hood blessing In here don't call the hood blessing before Like when you driving home and you see the polly behind you for a little bit Then they hit the light and just scoot on besides. Yeah Yeah, that's a good blessing right there. Is it the end of the day? I'm on tour And I'll come see you When you come see me It was short, but Hey, tell him how your uncle used to be with the other He was short, man. He was he was he was five feet taller than 98 in the waist Look like look like an egg with bells Yeah, that's right That's what I was told me one day. Don't don't make me take that belt off and beat your asses I'm thinking myself. She like being in the middle of your apartment Pulling them up That one was still hitting me in the yard How long is that belt? That's amazing That's why it's very important like if you do have nieces and nephews Stay in their life, man, because it's so easy to get sidetracked with this street And I'm gonna tell you they build a jail's every day to lock up jail. They don't play for me I got my ex-wife had me locked up man. I was in there five days It was a joke in that plan basically a talk like you boost the college I saw how long you've been here about eight months. I got up moved to love and got them So I didn't want to sit by this moment. You're too comfortable in here, right? But it's talented people in jail, but you don't need to be in jail. I'm gonna tell you man I knew everybody everybody that was working in jail. I went to school with them What you doing here? She had me a lot to give me the business Don't say and they call but it was they was bringing some guys in And there's a young dude when he was young he was crying And I walked beside him. I didn't look at it. I walked beside. I said look here, man I saw I don't know what you're here for that's I don't care I said what you need to draw the tears up? I said they see any sign of weakness. They're gonna get you I said tighten up wipe your face Try dry your tears. Keep it moving. He said, all right End up seeing it End up seeing him. He thanked me for that He's gonna joke in jail. They see you crying, you know, oh, yeah, they think you weak, man Oh, yeah, they're gonna take the trade. I want to go downstairs with a girl You know, I knew all the guys to take more the women He's not that you're gonna wrap man. I'm gonna break me in there, man Yeah, they will Jail ain't for nobody man. No, I'm not for no real player. Not enough for no real player, man It's too much money out here to be made man. Yeah financial literacy though, man. How do you do it, man? He's got it, man. I don't blow money. I just know I make sure I take care of my family. I take care of business. I just My wife always say why you got so many calls. I say why you got so many shoes Mm-hmm. Well, you ain't buying them up. Look, I'm about Talking show Long as ain't nothing lacking at home. Yeah, you shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up. I don't like that. I get down. See, I grew up not having nothing So when you get something you got to really hold on to it You know, you got to take care of yourself You don't get any people call the car so filthy like have you ever ran by a car washing this motherfucker? Or when you get gas, can you throw the shit in the trash at the gas station? Man, that's how women to keep they called off. They don't give a fuck. It's crazy, man. And let the kids do what? I don't tell them too much about it. Yeah, you're joking, you're joking. I'm telling my family, I'm taking some. My brother, shitfucked around and got personal. Man, I was looking, I'm like, bro, tell them to throw the shit away. You know that cooch, man. But you got to, you got to teach your children. See, my uncle taught me how to cook. My mom, my other aunt taught me how to clean up. My other aunt taught me how to wash clothes. My mom taught me how to keep my ass clean. She said, I'm the one with no staking in there, man. Man, I'm taking a shower. My mom ran out. Hold on. Let me show you how to wash your ass. I don't know what you mean now. I'm 17. Two rags of one. One big head towel. No, you're crazy, man. Boy, wipe that ass and go straight to it, baby. Yeah, man. Y'all use one white cloth for two. How you a woman, boy? How you a woman? I just found out you got a YouTube dog. No, I get that ad and I clean it back up. She is. I just found out you got a YouTube dog. I had a family, man. Did y'all see on social media? This lady was 42, 43, and she started dating a boy that was 21. And in 2015, then in 2017, they had a child. And then in 2019, they had a child. And she finally realized the dude that she was dating was the son she put up for adoption. No. She was fucking all the time. Probably at the last minute. They got two kids together. So he the daddy brother? Uh-huh. Or a dog. He the brother. Oh, he a dog. He the brother. He a bratty. He a bratty. Hey, bratty. That's my bratty. Yeah, he better cut this shit up. He gonna end up being his own granddad. He is already. If he done had a son and they had a little brother. Fuck the world we living in. Bratty has been doing that shit. It is, man. So you say you about to do the special. Y'all gonna do it later this year, man. So I definitely want to come back and let you and push it. But I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be me. It's gonna be mine. I'm creating it. Talk it. Time for... You done did the special. I did it since in 13 years. My mother died in 13 years ago. And I dedicated her. I don't know if y'all remember that. But I dedicated it to my mom. But let me tell you what was crazy. My mother passed on a Monday. No, she passed on a Wednesday. But I had her funeral on a Monday. I had to feel my show that Friday. But I had to give it to her though. I gave it to her and then bossed her. Some things you just gotta do. You gotta push it away from her. You gotta keep pushing back. People don't know that comedians are the most traumatized people. We just gotta find a way to laugh at our pain. Because we know God got us. And we know it's always gonna be a better day. But that'd be our therapy. Life is good for the soul. In that moment, we forget. That's right. See a lot of people go to church. They understand that after the Bible says, Mary heart is just like medicine. So, Mary mean happy. If you keep yourself happy, you heal yourself. You're not used to be a preacher back in the day. Talk your talk. I did, man. But God didn't call me my ex-wife did. You know, so... She said, you can do that as I show again. That was so stupid. How many people here in the congregation? About 14. I was preaching to them. I was giving it to them, son. He said about 14. About 14, man. Because they used to play with come-nose show at all the time. All the time. Like I told you earlier, the guy that put me in the comedy, he wrote my first say. He used to do a joke about a preacher baptized a dude. He dipped him and kept dipping him. He said, do you believe, you know, every time you come up to do a coffin. He said, do you believe in the coffin? Third time. He said, do you believe? He said, I believe you're trying to drown the shit out of me. You know, I used to hang out with preachers for real. My cousin, the little Jagmeet preacher, you know what I'm saying? He used to hang out with his other preachers. I didn't know the preacher carried a pistol on his ankle. Yes, sir. So, he in the church shouting, you know, I'm holding the church. He shouting, the gun up fell on the floor. And I said, Ram, he looked at my foot. He said, thank you, Jesus. He picked it up. Pick the gun up. And I'm preaching something else. You don't see the cousin preachers. Yeah. Man, that is mad, dude. Yeah, that is. But it's another now. Geno-gen. Yeah, geno-geno crazy, man. Man, I ain't saying that is in a minute though. No, I ain't seen him in a while. What about that light skinned dude? Yeah, I guess it is. The light skinned dude, we rearing out the Bible. Oh, the skinny one here. Shut up, bitch. You was going to be talking about the whole thing, y'all. Now, he ain't saying that in church. I was like, that thing is slow. Man, this thing, man. And people support that. Yeah. That is going to be wild, man. That is going to be wild, man. That is going to be wild, man. You don't see, you know, Kermi. Is it Kermi talking to one of these screaming? Kermi's talking. Kermi Thomas? That's something. Yeah, but God. Yeah. Yeah. What about the nigga with the, uh, sparks? The, uh, the, uh, what do you call it? The Miracle War. The Miracle War. Oh, that's him. That one look evil. Peter Popoff. He look evil. Yeah. With the prayer cloth. Yeah. And he got the water, the, the, the water he sent to you. And he said, yeah. The Miracle War. His name is Peter Popoff. But why would they show that on BET at three in the morning? Because ain't nobody seein' that shit. Ain't nobody seein'. What you doin' at three in the morning? You probably sleep breaks. It's supposed to be. I was sayin', but I seein' that shit. Yeah. And it started coming on at the uncut. He got the most important in the head. And it had extremely black. He died of that every week. They're going to raid this shit and be like, it's not fucking water, it's PCP. And I'm hoping you're in that line, too. I remember when I got the Miracle Water and I opened up my mail box. It was $450,000. I'm like, bitch, look at you. I paid all my bills and I got money to a spark. What is spark? Well, we can't walk there. Now you, they walkin' and shit. I'm runnin'. Yeah. Them African preachers put it here, too. They put it here for a moment. But do y'all know back in the day, when there were Indian days, you know, and any smoke, the peace pipe, that's why I smell it. You know they smoke weed, right? Yeah. Right. That was weed. Right. They see crazy shit. Go tell a running bull. You know, they always naming kids by what they see when they born. So running bull, they throw a bull. I made this shit up, but it was good. Look, I'm over here like, they do it. I'm just like, they wanna do that. The million of them Indians, man, them cheapy hives are gonna do it. You gotta watch what you say. They watch that shit on the reservation. Do they? Yeah. Oh, what would they like to call itself skins? Yeah, they would try to give it. They said, I'm gonna prove for my tribal tattoo. Yeah. They don't wanna get that paper. Yes, they do. Yeah, sir. I gotta prove. Cherokee. Yes, they do. With my tribal tattoo. But Cherokee is some east coast skin tribe. It's like the one that's lost. And they're like, I'm an Indian. They're like, well, you ain't really got no paperwork. So who are you? Cherokee, they're cool. Because when I had to do the movie over in Montana, nigga, we had skins in the movie. And we had like 40 different tribes. You know what I mean? I'm a, I ask questions. I don't give a fuck. Well, God plays my footsteps there. I gotta ask, I ain't just gonna look at you and not ask like, what that mean, bro? You feel me? Who are you? Where are you from? They, I'm talking about, they telling us, a majority of them migrated from Canada. Yeah. And they came down. And there's a lot of skins in Canada. What if they came up? But if a lot of people don't understand or look, they look like Mexicans. Yeah, they do. That's because they are. Boo-yah! That's what I want you to know. That's the thing about it, everybody. We're all Mexican. They'll be like, you're not Mexican, but I swore on everything, boy. Aren't we just Mexicans here? Just waiting to happen. Yes, they do. They'll put a roof on the house in one day. And they ain't gonna start on another roof that same day. No, yeah. They'll let you know. I got two jobs in the morning. At least get it set up in the morning. They get it set up, boy. You ask one Mexican, he bring back eight. You like, hold up, hold up. Everybody don't pay rub. No, I got it. You pay me, I pay them. Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna give you a hundred. I, I, I, don't say that out loud. I say, jack. How much are you paying? That motherfucker. That's part of the, that's part of the book. I don't know how they're gonna have that. That's very insensitive and racist. Hey, the Mexicans, the fair rate, blacks and the Mexicans get along great. They're both good people. They're the best people, aren't they? He said, the men between the, the blacks and the Mexicans. I learned that shit from Tromeo. We got the best Mexicans, the best blacks. Give it up, give it up for my African-American. Yeah, the best. That motherfucker. Look, I'm standing over there. Oh, you're just seeing him playing. What's that about Tromeo? He funnied him off. Hey, it's a clip of Trump where he came out and said, you know the blacks built this country? You know that, right? Yes, you guys built this, did a fantastic job. He saying that shit? Yes, he did. He said you guys did a fantastic job. You did a fantastic job. You know you built this, right? That motherfucker funnied me. He really gets the white Americans. What do you have to lose? I was like, ooh. Where were we? He said that shit. He knew he was going to win. He said, your school, your education alone, the crime rate is African-Americans. What do you have to lose? I said, you're niggas in the crowd. He's going to really be playing in the black people. Look at what Joe Biden did. He fucked your bitch. And he clicked your claim. And listen, America, before I go broke black junk, I think it's a job like a victory. No, don't rock that pit. That nigga ain't gonna have no stats with this shit. He just say this shit and that be it. They got shit in the back of it. The blacks are dying at a record number. Nobody wants to say anything. They just need to have a fan right there every time he get on the podium. They need to put a fan right there so that it's too big here. Gotta fuck him up. He got a shag in the back. I like how you say some of this, some of this should be the truth and then it'd be a lie at the end. Yeah. Some shit that could never happen. You know, dragons are eating people in record numbers. People are scared to go swimming. I'm going to get people back swimming. I'm going to take care of it. The wife will be behind him. Cheese like a boy. Listen here, Donald Trump said the dragons are eating people and he's going to do something about it. I do those goddamn Harry Potter movies. It looked a little bit too real. You know what I mean? It's right there in the movies. It's right there in the movies. They put it right there in the movies. They're doing magic and dragons are eating people but we know he's going to take care of it because he said he was. But he did. They believe it. Well, let me tell you something. I remember, I don't know what the fuck we was at. Some white woman just got a rage out of nowhere and just got on the phone. I'm literally behind the car waiting on my people to get out of the car. So I'm just, I'm minding my bitch. It's a beautiful day. This bitch got behind her car. I was on the phone like, yeah. And Donald Trump, he's the best. What Obama do? I said, bitch, fuck you. She said, I'm calling 911. I said, what the fuck? And he said that bitch is talking with me. That's how it beat, homie. I got the fuck on though. I was scared to hear. I said, let me get back in the car. Y'all don't call the phone. You know, you know, Obama, he's at home chilling, man. He ain't staying that shit. I ain't spending a damn thing. My life's house in Astrea, North Carolina. Yeah, that way he ain't chilling, like a villa. He going to call you. He going to be like, why did you tell him I stayed tonight? 35 years in the gang. He come before we get out of here, you got to give us give us the secret of staying in the gang 35 years. 35. What if the secret is staying consistent. Yeah. Staying true to yourself and true to the people. Because when people love you, they're going to come see you. They're going to come see you every single time. And just keep a level head. Don't lose your mind. Fuck y'all. Fuck all y'all. You got time to do that. Just, hey, thank you. Have a great night. We'll see you next time. Okay. You know what I mean? People going to come see you, man. How people going to see me all the time, man. From years and years and years and years. And they're going to support you. Just stay consistent, stay humble. You're the greatest, man. Yeah. But get that money, baby. Mmm. Here you talk about four months. Well, you know where we at in our new spot. I like it, man. That's your first time over here. I like it. Don't let it be your last. It won't be, man. I'm going to come back, man. Because I'm going to promote my DVD when I do it, man. I hadn't decided what I'm going to do with that. But I'm going to do more than 30 minutes. Most of these guys doing 30 minutes. I'm going to give it to them. Come on. I'm going to give it to them. I've been working hard on the gold now. So it's going to be good. Oh, shit. You having folks. 85 Self Show Bruce Bruce. We out of here. Let's take a picture. Let's do it. For the memory. We got to do this. This is for the memory. I got to get my shoes. Hey, what's up, Virginia? July 22nd, I will be in Tyson's corner. Talk to me. What you got going on in the 22nd? Pull up on me. What's the thing that correct? Capital One Hall. That's what we're going to be. Make sure you grab those tickets. And pull up on me. I've been trying to see you. I know what you said about... Come over there though. I'm working on something bigger than us. If you didn't go to church today, don't worry. We got you. It's the blessings that's going to come through here too. Church ain't number three or more people. Anybody ever been know that? Don't block your blessing in here. It might not be your church blessing. It might be like your hood blessing. In here done called a hood blessing before. Like when you're driving home and you see the pole leave behind you for a little bit. Then they hit the light and just scoot on beside you. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good blessing right there. Because at the end of the day, I'm on tour. And I need you to be there so I can tell some jokes to you. I'll see you when you come see me. I'm 20 years old, right? So for me with that kind of money, still living in the project, we had to figure it out. What's happening Phoenix? I'm not speaking for every man. If I make it to be making 200 million, nigga, I can make 200,000. I feel like I spoke to the fucking bitch I want. So if Zion, if you want to do that, live your life. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's your girl, Dre and Nicole. And you are tuned in to another episode. Show these little tricks. I'm not dead by how I done took y'all air well. Now come on over. All them vines and shit. Them old days and shit. What we got right here? This granddaddy, man, this is what I got for my 40th. I ain't do nothing to it. Usually I put 40s on everything I got. I ain't do nothing to this, but put some music in there. You know what I'm saying? Did you do the do on it? You did a booty cat. Yes, sir. Ooh, you was hitting on that joint? Yeah, one hundred percent. Give him a booty, eight, all that. A guy, damn, okay. That's living the life. When you stand on a blow-up mattress and you can get a girl lick your head, eat your ass, you a man, you cold-blooded. Hey, shit. Nigga be broke in the bitch, man. Think about it. You ever been so broke, you just feel like you about to pass away sometime soon. You be like, I know God ain't got me out here living like this. Barry and native, you understand me? You got this, you got to get this monkey off your back, you understand me? If you ain't never broke a female, no chicken. Now it's nothing that, you know, men should glorify and be proud of, but, you know, it's just culture.