 Hey guys, a little bit of a different video here, but this is my spoiler filled review of Rise of the Skywalker and there is no way that I'm standing for this amount of time because I am still exhausted from the amount of exposition and story I got from the movie. But least to say, if any of you have ever read these comics, the Dark Empire series, that's what this movie is. Essentially, really part two, because part two is almost play by play for this, except you replace Luke and put in Kylo Ren, essentially, but have his intentions be a little different. But the whole cloning, Palpatine pushing his essence into different people, spaceships with the ability to blow up planets, fucking Starkiller base was in this thing. Throughout this entire trilogy, I am amazed how few people have brought up this series because this was lauded as some of the most ridiculous Star Wars storytelling throughout the entire legends. Before Disney even had the thought of buying Star Wars, this was supposedly the story that happened after Return of the Jedi, is where the idea of Luke goes bad because he wants to try and figure out how to properly use the Force, the Dark Side, because the Emperor was able to come back via clones. And actually his return in this makes a hell of a lot more fucking sense than it did in Rise of Skywalker. Rise of Skywalker has about 17 different plot points because the last Jedi does nothing to set up the film. Because it was just too clean cut, it ended the storyline with Snooki, it ended the storyline with Phasma, it turned Hux into an Igor. The only thing you had left was Kylo Ren fighting Rey again, which we had seen many a time. And the film essentially starts that off with like these sort of montage scenes with Kylo Ren going after a holocron. No, it's not a holocron, it's a finder thingy, but it's definitely a goddamn holocron. And the resistance is trying to find a means to fight the first order. Rey is training herself in the ways of the Jedi, apparently from Leia and books, which I thought were destroyed. I don't know where she found this book. For those people who say that Rey had a bunch of powers that were just impossible, you know what? I actually was just whatever with it this time because we've already established that her character is overpowered. We've already established that this woman has almost no flaws. They actually tried their best to actually add some conflict with this character. Goddamn way too late, but I actually think this was some of the best inner conflict with this character because this character hasn't had any inner conflict, maybe a little bit in last Jedi, but I never expected her to go anywhere near bad. When she had Force Lightning come out of her hands for that whole not dead chewy part, I was actually like holy shit, like this is so fucking rushed, but I'm actually not upset with where this is going. They go, they actually had the list of how many planets they went to, and I think I lost track after seven. Then there's always the concept that every time they switch back and forth there's always a fade, right? There's not enough time to wipe the screen for every time they cut back and forth. There's so much going back and forth between all the different characters in this movie. This is the fastest-paced Star Wars movie of them all because it's like it's on cocaine and it needs to wrap shit up, so it's just beelining it to the end while trying to shove as much shit down your throat at the same time. The whole idea of Palpatine coming back is absolutely absurd. They even say it in the opening crawl. The characters are all like, yeah, Palpatine's back. Yo, why did you even say that in the opening crawl if the characters then have to figure it out? You shouldn't have done that, but then again really the only two points in the opening crawl that actually matter is Palpatine's back and Kylo Ren is trying to find out how to beat him. That's it. I thought the last Jedi's opening crawl was pointless, but this is even more pointless. So they're going after this holocron stupid thingy, which then leads them to a dagger, which apparently C-3PO can read, but he's not allowed to because of his restriction. So they go to a planet that has Carrie Russell's bounty hunter thing, this tiny little Jamaican man, and they have to reset 3PO, which is completely just useless. This is superfluous padding. However, it actually makes 3PO one of the best characters in this movie, and I never thought I would ever ever say that, but 3PO has actually one of the best character arcs in this entire movie. And that whole line where he says, I'm just looking at my friends one last time, I thought that line was bullshit in the trailers. Technically speaking, it still is, but the movie works to actually make that line matter, which again, completely out of nowhere, also so, so pointless because it just adds another 20 minutes onto the movie. After they reset it, after they reset them and then they find out what the funky language is, Kylo Ren ship is there and they go up there to find the holocron that Kylo Ren has. I actually, I can't remember why they go up there now, but I know that when they get up there, they get kidnapped, but then they get released, and then they get kidnapped again, then they get released all the while Kylo and Rey are having that connection. And I actually think that this was really well done. I like that they took it to an even more physical space, like when she's on the weird sandy planet and Kylo is able to rip the necklace right off of her, and then they even have a fight while in Kylo's room, which I don't understand that though, because they need to have visually shown this differently, because I had the opinion that they were able to see where each other were. That was kind of what was set up in The Last Jedi, whereas Rey can see where Kylo is, but Kylo can't see that she is clearly in his room until they destroy his little shrine, Devator's melty face. I didn't understand that part really, because that was kind of, I don't know, I always had the opinion that they knew where each other were, so that was a little bit of a taking me out, but I still enjoyed these sequences, because they got more and more intense throughout the movie. They get off the ship, Hawks is revealed to be the spy, which, poor Dominic Mahanagan, or Dominic Glee, I can't actually remember, Dominic something, he went from being this super scary, pumped up, coked up Nazi in The Force Awakens, like his speech before they blast all the planets with the Starkiller base, it was actually kind of intimidating. I was like, Jesus, the Nazi vibes are quite strong here. But then in The Last Jedi, he becomes an Igor, he's a completely useless character with some of the worst humor, I'm still never gonna get over how horrible his humor was. Anyways, he gets blasted by the bad guy from Logan who really should have been introduced in The Last Jedi if you wanted to replace Hawks, because he is essentially the new Hawks, and he's actually, he's not giving shit, I don't even remember his name, I just know that he's trying his hardest to be a Tarkin, and you know, give him credit, because there's no way he could pull it off with the amount of time that he had. But anyways, kills Hawks, they get off that planet, and then they go to back to the, oh, they go to the Endor. Well, man, the Endor part is so forced in, Finn finds out that there's other Stormtroopers who have rebelled, and Finn, my boy, John Boyega, he went from literally being the most anticipated character for me. When I saw that it was a Stormtrooper going rogue, I was like, yeah, some Kyle Katarn, you know, he's not Kyle Katarn, but he's gonna be the Kyle Katarn of this series, and you did nothing with him. You did absolutely nothing with him after the Force Awakens. The guy has literally the best arc, the best story, aside from Rey, I guess, from the Force Awakens, and then you just wasted him. He did nothing in The Last Jedi, and then he does almost essentially nothing in this one. He has some sort of baiting line that JJ puts in, this stupid mystery box writing, and I imagine there's probably a scene that he explains whatever it is that he had to say. It must have been in there somewhere in the deleted scenes, but I imagine that they had to take it out because of what happens later with Kylo and Rey if it had anything to do with a romantic sort of idea. Thing, the knife apparently is actually a clue finder to finding something that's on the remnants of the Death Star, which why did someone make this? Why was this made? If something that was known was on the wreckage of the Death Star, why didn't someone just take it off? Instead of, I thought there was going to be some sort of like thousand-year-old Sith mystery or something, but it turns out it's just like, yeah, you remember we were turning the Jedi, someone forgot to clean up this part amongst all the corpses. So that part is, that whole element is just so wasted, and then they have a fight on it, which at first starts off cool, and then all of a sudden they start going really slowly at each other, which I was kind of sitting there with my roommate or with some of my friends and being like, what the hell is actually going on here? Are they just actually tired? Anyways, Leia reaches out to Ben, Rey stabs Ben, and it's like, oh my god, he's dead. Man, Kylo is just a great character villain, terrible execution, a lot of times with him. This dude has been killed, well not near killed, but he's been defeated, like smack down for the third time in this trilogy. He is a Team Rocket character. Anyways, Rey has found out how to do Force Heal, which again, I just, I was at the point where like, whatever, I'm given up on them actually trying to establish how she learns any of this shit. There's too much going on, there's no way they're going to actually properly explain any of this. There'll be a book, I imagine. She heals him, she leaves, Ben's having a moment, and then Harrison Ford appears, which I did not expect at all, and I'm still kind of curious as to what he is actually. I don't know whether he's a ghost or he's in Ben's mind, which if this is the case, then why has he had, like, how did this conflict? It's such a shoehorned part in. It is a great part because it's a complete mirror of the last moment that they had before Kylo stabbed him, but the dialogue, even Harrison Ford's movements, the holding his face is exactly the same, but it's just a change. It's kind of just showing that, you know, he has a chance to go over. It's, the whole point of Kylo Ren's character has been struggling with trying to be the dark side, but the inner good in him, his lineage of heroes within him has been conflicting with him the whole time. Like, I remember someone pointing out when he stabs Ben, or sorry, when he stabs Han Solo, you see him kind of have this face of, yeah, I've done it, and then when he falls and he has this face of like, well, wait a minute, why am I still conflicted? I, Adam Driver did a fantastic job with this character despite being roadblocked quite a bit. Anyways, he gets this, yeah, I'm gonna be good thing. The resistance go off to find the planet. They go off to fight Palpatine, who by the way, has apparently just made this massive fleet of Star Destroyers while he's had his time, while he's been on vacation. I don't know who's there to pilot them. I don't know who's living on this completely inhospitable looking fucking planet. It's got lightning coming down and all this weird stuff. I don't know who's flying these ships. And then all of a sudden, he's got a crowd of homies in this big auditorium, which they're not explained either. I don't know if they're clones of him because the Snookies were supposedly the clones. So I don't know. Anyways, they go there, they have this fight, which is a bit ridiculous because at first, oh yeah, the kind, oh shit, the Knights of Wren. Wow, what a completely wasted concept. Really cool introduction, kind of, ooh, mythos of them and Force Awakens completely forgotten about in The Last Jedi. And then they are in this movie to try and look intimidating. But by the third time they appear with the dirt, dirt, dirt music around them and they don't do anything, they had completely lost all flair to me and they are defeated like a bunch of chumps. No connection with them at all. No establishment of who they are. They just, they're phasmas. They're essentially phasmas, but they don't even get any speaking lines. So Knights of Wren, totally wasted. Would have loved to have seen that actually done properly. So then they, Palpatine finds out that the two of them connected, oh yes, another really random part, part that made me yell out, what the fuck in the theater was we find out that Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter, which apparently had actually been predicted and it gives, do it, an unlimited power. So many more dirty, dirty jokes now. There are so many jokes to make about this. And I was just laughing at this whole concept because all I could think about, the characters are supposed to be having this serious moment and all I'm thinking about is Palpatine doing it and just saying, dude, the whole time. It's just, it's so absurd. It's so absurd. They have this fight. He finds out that there's a connection between the two. He sucks out their force abilities somehow and then all the while there's this big space battle happening above them. Again, completely copying Return of the Jedi for the second time because they did it and they kind of did it in the last Jedi. He then forced lightnings up into the sky and he disables all of the rebel ships. And that point, I was done. That is the most bullshit thing I've ever seen. This is jumping the shark. You know everyone I kind of like the fuel all of a sudden was introducing to Star Wars? This was more bullshit than that because he literally sent up an entire planet's worth, like several, several hurricanes worth of lightning into the sky and he didn't say unlimited power. Wasted, wasted, wasted opportunity. Anyways, Adam Driver flies off. He's almost killed for like the upteenth time and then Rey stands up and holds a lightsaber and she's like kind of taking in the energy because all of a sudden Emperor is starting to shoot. The amount of lightning that can take out an entire fucking fleet is shooting it at Rey and Rey's just like, yeah, this lightsaber can hold all that, which you can't go from that to this with, no. Anyways, apparently all she has to do is hold up two lightsabers at the same time and that destroys Palpatine like a Dragon Ball Z villain. And then Kylo uses the force healing thing to save Rey because she was rightly like a vis, like electrocuted to death by this thing. They have the kiss, which I was kind of when they were looking at each other, do it, do it, because I'd been thinking that this was supposed to happen for such a long time now. And then that's what I'm saying. Like this scene right here is why Finn's line, this throwaway line of me to tell you something. I can guarantee you they shot Finn's part first and then throughout all of the endings, all of the reshooted endings that they had to do. This was one of the ones that they came up with and this was like, well, we can't show the Finn scene now because we just showed this. Finn's shit is, we should have cut that out. They should have cut it out. And then when they get to, so then they have this kiss and then Kylo dies. He just, I was like, oh, when are you going to go back and forth between like who you're going to force heal each other enough that you finally find a middle ground where you're like half alive both of you. And then the movie ends with the resistance winning and Rey burying the lightsabers in the desert on Tatooine, which I am kind of curious as what they mean with this, is they burying the Jedi because she then unites a lightsaber that is, it looked yellowish, but I thought it looked kind of more white-ish, but it's like in between kind of like Ahsoka in Rebels where she's a neutral Jedi sort of. I think that's kind of the idea that they might have been thinking, but I honestly have no idea because then it ends with how basically Luke's journey started with Rey looking at the sunset. And that's Rise of the Skywalker. There is so much like, sorry for kind of going back and forth there, but there's so much in this movie to just unload that it's, it's an exhausting experience for people who are saying that they feel exhausted at the end. I can totally understand whether they were emotionally invested in it or not is so much to fucking think about. But in terms of how this movie is paced, I'll give you a comparison. I saw Return of the Jedi on Thursday, sorry Rise of the Skywalker on Thursday, and then I saw Fellowship of the Ring extended at the same theater the following day on Friday. And that movie has an over an hour more of film footage of runtime and that movie is more better, is far better paced than this movie is. Far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far better paced. And it has an extra hour on it. This is just, I really hope like Disney, I'm really hoping that Disney realizes the absolute catastrophe that they've done. They have burnt out so many people from Star Wars, not only did they really piss off the fans of the legends books, comic books, all that stuff, then now they've pissed off a large portion of the film, the film loving audience. I know there's some people who are thinking this is only a fantastic movie and you know, you're fine to think that it's, I just feel it's heavily flawed. It's a unfortunate end to this trilogy and you all should have just had a plan. That's not hard. Coming up with a plan, yeah, of course, that's coming up with the whole story. That would have been difficult, but having a plan is something that university students, college students, high school students, great school students are told to have in a situation like this. So, yeah, y'all fucked up. Anyways guys, I hope you enjoyed this video. I'll put this up as soon as I can. And yeah, that's it. What do you guys think? Do you think that this series ends on a whimper or ends on a bang? I'm just exhausted. I don't want to touch Star Wars. I don't even want to watch The Mandalorian, even though it's coming to the end of its first season soon. I have no care to watch it. I'm that burnt out. Baby Yoda memes are not. I can't get into that show. And I have the ability to watch it, but I don't know. Anyways, that's all from me, guys. Hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, leave a like and if you're interested in more, subscribe. Otherwise, I'm going to bed.