 Kissing Booth star Joey King is back in action, but instead of pining over boys this time, she's stabbing them in the face with a sword. Let's talk about the Hulu Exclusive, The Princess! Why did I watch this movie? From the director of Nothing and the writers of Less. Comes the Princess, a Hulu Exclusive that nobody's talking about and they shouldn't be because it's a very basic bitch. And when I say basic, I'm not underselling that word. It's about a princess who's locked in a tower and forced to get married and she fights her way out of it. Damn it. That's it. That's the whole, that's the whole kitten caboodle. And the main draw of this movie as I've already stated is Joey King, who, in fact, isn't related to Martin Luther King. I looked that up. Contrary to popular belief, no affiliation at all. The film opens with a beautiful CG rendering of a castle. Specifically, the tower, our young Joey King princess, is locked inside. We're greeted to a handcuffed heroine on a bed trying to break free. Now, Joey King has reinvented herself. It looks like as an action star doing this and bullet train, which is coming out soon. And I will say, even though she's a tiny little thing, she does a good job selling this role. She kills like 700 guys trying to get out of this castle. Probably would have died at the first. But we're living in a fairy tale movie world, right? Where anything goes and everything actually goes. There is tons of action in this movie. Honestly, I think this movie has more action than any other film I've ever seen. I'm not even joking you. It's non-stop. It's like action set piece for five minutes, talking for one minute, action set piece, talking. Unfortunately, that's it. It becomes very, very stale. And I won't even knock the action that much. Some of it's pretty creative. It looks kind of cool in a fun Disney afternoon way. This thing is rated R. I have no idea why. I just, I just cannot fathom what they were thinking making this an R rated movie. There's nothing sexy about it. There's no nudity. There's no swearing. It is entirely for the action. Like stabby stabs and blood. There isn't anything really even that gross or graphic as far as the action. So why not just pare it down to a PG-13 or even a PG because the movie seriously looks like it's a Disney plus MCU show. And that's not a compliment. A lot of the action is choreographed, which is equally as impressive. Especially when you take into account they're doing a Jason Bourne shaky cam approach most of the time. On some occasions the director does let the shot breathe for a bit and we do get an extended back and forth sword play sequence. But most of the time this camera's moving around. It's dropping with people. It's popping back up. It ebbs and flows throughout this thing. And look, Joey King's a cute actress. I'm not gonna deny that. But the director needs to calm the hell down with these camera shots. He's up in her grill all the time. And like me, she kind of has a larger nose. So it's not the most attractive thing to look at. It's just like, it's just real up there. Back the camera up a little bit. Take a more flattering angle for this poor girl. Because it's an R rated movie, you're gonna alienate a lot of the audience. I assume they're going after the kissing booth teen crowd. I would imagine 15 to 20 year old girls watching a love triangle show. To watching a medieval film where a girl escapes a prison by killing everybody she sees. I'm not sure it's a one to one with that audience. When I think badass female action movies, I go kill Bill. I turn to Underworld. I look at even Kate that came out a year or two back on Netflix or Atomic Blonde. Like they make lots of cool badass female movies. This is not one of them. This is just silly nonsense. The cinematography makes it seem like it's more childish than it's supposed to be. Colorful. The characters are really clean. Even our main hero ends up walking away with just a slice on the arm and a little nick on the lip. Which she has the entire film. Like she gets the shit kicked out of her pretty early on by two guys in this tower. She leaves with just a little cut on her lip. I'm like, what? What happened? This movie reminded me of something I would make with my buddies when I was younger. Where we don't really have a plot outside of just like a really loose idea of what we want to do. But really it's an excuse to do a bunch of different over-the-top fight sequences. And again, this movie has a ton of them. They are varied. They're using different weapons. There's an evil chick that's like a female scorpion who has a whip with a blade on the end. Get over here! Except there's no cool one-liners in this either. Man, I miss one-liners. I miss snappy dialogue. I don't remember anything in recent months or years even where I can say that's a quotable line. I'm gonna start saying that. Anyway, the budget's clearly not there for what they want to do either case. There are some attempts to try to make things a little bit more grand. A little bit more grandiose than they can be. But a lot of times they do what they used to do in the late 90s, early 2000s, which is Mesh, a CG character with a live-action one. I mean, I know they do it all the time still, but this is like the bad shit when it's very obvious. Think Harry Potter 1 when there's that cave troll in the bathroom and Harry jumps on top and jams his wand up his nose and he's like, and he falls off of him and then it goes back to a real, you know, Daniel Radcliffe. They do that like three times in this one. Once when she falls off, like through a railing, another time she gets pushed out a window into the water. It looks so bad and I love it. That's the shlock I'm here for. I wish there was more of that in this film than I might have been more interested in getting through it. Oh yes, and at one point she throws some shit on a guy who starts on fire and the fire is straight out of Mortal Kombat Annihilation. That's the level of quality we're looking at there. I don't know, not even a second pass on the CGI, they're just like, fuck it. We got to get this out. Hulu needs this movie right away so he can get three more subscribers onto the platform. So there are my thoughts on The Princess. Should you watch it? Absolutely not. Why did I? Why do I hate myself so much? Maybe just find a couple of the clips on YouTube of the action. That's really all you need. It really is just kind of a series of different set pieces featuring Joey King yelling a lot, going feral, fighting some guys with swords, doing a lot of spins, and not looking great either. That's the problem, it's not like Wonder Woman, it's not like Gal Gadot spinning in the air kicking ass. It's Joey King kind of frumpy, hair is wild, that nose is right up in your face. It's just nothing really pleasing about this. You know, when I watch action movies, whether it's male or female, I want the dude or Gal to look badass while they do it. This is missing key ingredients. No badass one-liners, not looking cool while you're doing it, and a villain so lame, you gotta wonder why they even bothered. Alright, those are my thoughts on The Princess. Did you check it out? I'm imagining not, but at least thanks for watching this regardless. Also, maybe think about subscribing if you haven't. As I post tons of movie and TV show related content here all the time, would love to have you stick around. If you are a subscriber already, make sure to hit that notification bell so they show up in your feed. There's a lot of subs on this channel. I'm not seeing that correlation with the views. I gotta, I gotta get it back. Gotta get it up there. And hopefully, yeah, hopefully I'll see you in the next video. Maybe the views are low because I'm reviewing movies like The Princess. That's a possibility. That's something I should probably think about. Since you're still here, maybe think about joining me on Patreon at patreon.com slash Adam Does Movies or become a member right here on YouTube via that YouTube Join button. It gives you access to exclusive videos. You get little badges. A couple other perks, but really it's for you to say, hey Adam, I like what you're doing. Here's a dollar. Here's 10 bucks a month, whatever you can give. And I'd appreciate it. Thanks.