 Hey everyone thanks for joining me on today's podcast. Today I'm going to be speaking to you for a few minutes about a bad experience I had in Switzerland on holiday with my family recently what I experienced online fraud and the beautiful setting we were in was contaminated by what happened there and I'm teaching you in this podcast about how our experiencing self often overrides our remembering self and a beautiful experience becomes a bad memory because of what happened there and how that we need to manage that better. Enjoy leave a comment let me know what you thought about this hope it helps you. Cheers. We recall events in life two ways we have an experiencing self and a remembering self and these two ways that we engage with life determine what we take away from anything that we go through our remembering self simply remembers the experience where we were what we did how we felt what we saw and so on our remembering self does that that's its job but our experiencing self overrides our remembering self if while we are remembering something a particularly negative painful traumatic experience occurred in that memory like me on that day on that beautiful island and fraud occurs and comes into my life on my cell phone and I spent a good hour on the phone dealing with that internationally of course and the stress and the trauma of that that then bled into the day and spoiled the whole memory of that place in fact I jokingly said I don't remember the name of this island because it was a name I couldn't recall easily but I said I'm gonna forever now call it fraud island and we laughed about it and I thought afterwards how it ruined my day how it affected all of our day my experiencing self that whilst it was there in a great place I had an incoming negative experience that then soured my experience of being there and everybody else's time there and after I left of course as many of you know with that kind of experience of fraud it sort of carries on days afterwards and stills going and as I speak to you now because we're in this two-week window that the bank says all you've got to recover the money and so when I got home that night and the following days in Zurich it's kind of still ongoing I'm on the phone I'm still making calls and so the memory of that part of my week was ruined and lost and overridden by my experiencing self and I'm sharing this with you all because I'm interested in your experience around this what have you gone through have you gone through something you guys that has been like I'm trying to describe to you have you gone through something that actually if you just remembered it for what it was it was great but whilst you were there something happened and what happened has made it memorable for all the wrong reasons as it were because our remembering self that is attached to our emotions and our feelings overrides our psychological remembering and the feeling lingers longer than the memory does and the feelings always come up first when that place is mentioned and the feelings are triggered and the trauma is triggered when that place is mentioned and we lose something we lose something in life we lose experiences and events and people and relationships we lose it to surrendering to our remembering self instead of editing it and taking charge of our experiencing self and not allowing that to rewrite our experience that we had there you know two people can go through this same identical event but have very different experiences like a surgical procedure that's common and many people may have that kind of procedure and two people could be in the same hospital on the same day having surgery a few minutes apart by the same surgeon and the same anesthetist and so on and so on everything's identical but if one of them has a particular painful experience or if something happens on the way to the hospital like a car accident or something occurs whilst they're in recovery that's unpleasant or uncomfortable or unexpected that then becomes lodged in that experiencing self and the other person in the next room perhaps that had the identical procedure who thought it was brilliant and had a really successful surgery and had a good experience and remembered it well and reported it that way you wouldn't think it was the same experience both people were speaking about would you because one had a negative experience one had a good one so the memory is tainted and contaminated according to the experience you have whilst making that memory and I think what happens is later on as I said even now you are still processing the negativity and negative emotions the pain the trauma attached to what happened years ago this can be guys years ago decades ago even generationally because the experience in self took charge of controlling that memory the way it was lodged in the brain and the amygdala hippocampus won't get into that too much but I've talked to you guys before about my observation and interest and fascination about those two pieces of our brain the amygdala is the drama queen that records emotion it is the smoke alarm of the brain if you like and brings a chemical toxic dump with it once those feelings are evoked and the hippocampus is what I call the librarian of the mind that takes that memory and then files it forever in the way it was experienced so when it's ever triggered in the future it always comes back with the same reoccurring emotion first and the memory of where you were what happened second so I'm appealing to you I think I'm encouraging you guys to give thought to and let me know what you feel about this of your own experiences around this have you had something like this that can help the community understand it more beyond what I'm saying can you articulate this in a different way to me from something you're experiencing in the past or right now today and you became aware today as you went through something like I did on the day that your experiencing self is hijacking or otherwise was a great day for others or could have been a great day for you everybody else's experience was contaminated by mine that's what I hated too everybody was saying we're so sorry and can we help and don't worry about it and I spent my day apologizing for for ruining their day and it bleeding into the rest of the week do you have something like that because what's going on to give language to it is your experience in self is taking precedence over your remembering self so what we have to do is we have to redeem the memory we have to reclaim the memory and we don't deny that we had a negative experience but we don't allow that to be the abiding thought that we bring up the abiding way we relate the story in the future as hope today's podcast was helpful to you if it was please leave me a few comments what you thought about this and leave a review too and if you don't subscribe please feel free to do that and help me spread the word about this podcast if you feel it would add value to somebody else in your world hey the larger thought that this podcast is connected to is posted in my mentorship group it's a free mentorship group if you're interested in joining that and becoming part of that community go to paulscanland.com you'll see more info there and I hope to see you in the new community I've created online called the mentorship group appreciate you guys thanks for being here cheers talk soon