 The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Redis-Basquale. You know, friends, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum is a typically American product that appeals to people of all ages and nationalities in all parts of our country. And the Wrigley people feel that Life with Luigi is a typically American radio program. A friendly, enjoyable show that sort of symbolizes the American spirit of tolerance and goodwill. So the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum are glad to bring you Life with Luigi each week and have you join them in this pleasant half-hours entertainment. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his Mama Pascoe in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia. It's over a year and a half from America. I know I've learned so much about this beautiful country. Mamma remember the first week Mamma was here, somebody told me. The little green box in the corner was for mail. And the little red box for fire. Mamma thought, what a strange country. If you got a fire, you got to send a letter to the fire department. So Mamma walked over to the little red box and a sign is said, break the glass and pull it down the handle. This, I'm a dead. Now believe me Mamma Mia, you almost had your son in the back in Italy. I was a pretty stupid in those days, I'm Mamma Mia. But now I'm going to know much more. And I'm going to appreciate what a fine country is in this America. And also the people who live here. Only yesterday I was walking in the street, the manager came up to me and he said, hey you got a nickel for a cup of coffee? This is a touch me to the heart of Mamma Mia. Here's an American, a man I don't even know. And he's worried if I'm going to nickel for a cup of coffee. Ah, the people are wonderful, the country is wonderful. And every night when I'm a walker to my night school class, I'm a kind of singer with a happiness. America, I love you. You like a papa to me, from ocean to ocean. How does my school a building? Oh, you might be a torch of a learning. You're a gigantic institution of education. Mamma Mia, if I'm going to talk so good, why am I going to night school? Well, I'm not going to cross the street. Mamma Mia, I think I'm a better waiter for the life. I think I'm a better waiter for the life. I think I'm a better waiter for the life. I think I'm a better waiter for the life. I think I'm a better waiter before I'm going to get the kill. Ah, it's a beautiful night. I hope I'm not going to be too late for... Hey, what's it is, Selene on the street? I'm going to pick them up. Hmm, it's a wallet. Somebody must have lost it. What am I looking for, your name? Oh, here it is, eh? A cock. No, wait. Oh, it looks like it belongs to an army general. Over here is a stamp in a gold. Gen cowhide. Oh, here's something. Identification card. Peter T. Simpson. In the case of illness, the notify Mary Simpson. Poor man, I must be sick. Well, I'm going to tell this to the policeman. Hi, Mr. Officer. Yeah? I'm going to find this a wallet, and maybe you know who's lost it. Nope, search me. Oh, you think maybe you was lost it? No, no. Where'd you find this, Mac? In the street there. And my name is a Luigi. Let's see it. Justify the name. I'm thinking you better call him Mary Simpson and tell her husband is sick. What? What's your name? My name? Where you want my name? Regulations, bud. The names are not the bodies of Luigi Bosco. Address? Is it 21 or not the whole of the state? Why are you asking? Don't ask so many questions. The police department will notify you about this in a little while. The police department? You heard me. Please, Mr. Mr. Policeman, I want a little favor. Let me put the wallet at the back of where I'm offended. Then you go your way, I'm going my way, and we're done squilling each other. That's all I'm talking about today. Everything's going to be all right. All right, quiet, please, please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Bosco? Hmm, not here. Mr. Harwick? Yeah? Mr. Olson? Mr. Schultz? C-C, senor. Mr. Schultz, please, use the English language. Besides, senor means man, and I am not a man. Monsieur? That would still be calling me a man in French. Him will be better get you back to English before you grow a beer. That's right, smile everybody. All right, that's enough. Now, class, today we... I'm here, Miss Policeman, I'm here. Mr. Bosco, that's the second time this week you've been late. You better have a good excuse. I'm going to go to one, Miss Policeman. I'm going to find a wallet in the street and I'm going to give it to the policeman. He's asked me a lot of questions and he's taken me a long time. Well, all right, take your seat. Miss Policeman, you... You think I'm a bit of right to give in a wallet to the policeman? Well, I'm sure you acted like a good citizen, Mr. Bosco. That's right, Luigi. I would have done the same thing. You'll haunt me too. Ain't we all a bunch of liars? Hey, Schultz, you think I'm a bit of wrong? Ah, who knows? My cousin Wolfgang once founded a diamond ring in the street. And he was faced with the same temptation. Finally, after struggling with his conscience, he turned the ring over to the police. Turned it right in, huh, Schultz? Well, first he had it appraised and made sure it was worthless. The smile, everybody. Luigi, what are you so glum about? Well, the policeman took my name and address and I'm worried what he's going to do with me. Do with you? Luigi, you've got nothing to worry about. You might get a generous reward from the gentlemen who lost it, Luigi. A reward? A reward, but I'm going to want the money if I don't have my duty like a good citizen. Ah, don't be so foolish, Luigi. If you're one of your gentlemen, the first time he offers you the reward money, say no. And the second time, say no again, but a little more slowly. And the third time, you grab. Yeah, but if Schultz is supporting him on offer a third of time, then you should grab it the second time. Oh, my mummy is so early in the morning as a telephone ringer. Hello? This is Luigi Basko, the man who's a funder. You feeling any better, Mr. Simpson? What? In your wallet, it's a teller, how you're sick. Good, police, they're very honest, too. Mr. Basko, you listen to me. It's about the reward, Mr. Simpson. That's all right. I'm adjusted to my duty like a good citizen. All right, Mr. Cohn, only $30 in my wallet. What do you do with the other $100? What, $100? What do you mean? You know better than $100? Oh, stop it, Mr. Simpson. I'm going to like what you're thinking about to me. And if you ever lose a something again, I'm never going to find it for you. Are you sure there was a $100 bill in his side? I know, because that morning I cashed a check for $100 at the bank. Oh, my mummy, I better get out of bed and go to the next door to Basko Valley. Little punk in the head. You're getting a real absolute mind. Look, you forgot to put your clothes on today. Hey, Basko Valley, you've got to help me. Stand there and unite shirt. You look like that famous nurse, Florence Nightingale. Hello, Basko Valley, listen to me. All right, little guy. Would you push a telepoper Basko Valley while it's in trouble in your little head? Well, I'm a found a wallet yesterday, Basko Valley. And I'm going to turn it over to the police and he's going to give it to Mr. Simpson. And he's attacking me to court to punish me for $100 I'm going to never took. Mm-hmm. What's new otherwise? Luigi, you dreams. Is it getting more complicated all the time? No, Basko Valley was a no-dream. It was a real. It's really happening. What? You mean you'll really find a wallet and a street and give it to the cops? Sure. Luigi, that's not the patriotic. They're taking the money out of circulation that way. Yeah, but I'm spawning on everybody. They said I'm going to do the right thing by giving it to them. So go to everybody for advice about your country in Basko Valley and what's to happen to you. Trouble. Luigi, when do you want advice? You should have come only to Basko Valley. Well, who's it got in the brain that the scatter away all your little troubles? Hey, you're so right to Basko Valley. You're the biggest scatterbrain I've ever known. That's a funny thing. And when I'm saying it, is it come out of different? Basko Valley, please, tell me what I'm sure to do. Mr. Simberson said it was $100 or more in the wallet. The cops, they found only $30, but I'm not took it at $100. Basko Valley, you believe in me, no? Sure, I believe in you, Luigi. Oh, thanks, Basko Valley. You're a real friend. Now, let's split the $150 and I forget the whole thing. Basko Valley, you really think I'm took out that $100? I didn't say you did and I didn't say you didn't. But if you didn't, then you should have did because nobody's going to believe you didn't. Well, Basko Valley, parts of what you said I'm understand about the whole thing that don't make no sense. You mean nobody's going to believe in me, huh? Luigi, I believe you. I'm the only one who knows you stupid enough always to be honest. Well, thank you, Basko Valley. Isn't that often you give me the praise? You're welcome, Luigi. Now, don't you worry, little banana nose. I'm a brawler to this country. I'm a responsible for you and I'm going to go to court to prove you innocent. Oh, thanks, Basko Valley. Thanks. Now, I'm going to do you a little favor. Maybe you're going to do me a favor. All right, Basko Valley. What's it is to favor? Marry my daughter, Rosa. Answer is a no. Basko Valley, I'm a shari. Then I'm a sorrow for you. Luigi, you can expect a rough a time when this Mr. Simpsons will take you to court. Yeah, but I'm going to get the right out of my shari. Luigi, you shy a hundred bucks. You what they call a shy stuff. Basko Valley, I'm going to have a talker out of money and you know it. I know it and you know it, but the wallet don't know it. Luigi, in America, they got a certain of rules. Over here, possession is a nine-tenth of the law. Have you got the wallet? No. Then you only got a one-tenth of the law. Already, they got you outnumbered. Luigi, it's a look like a jailer for you. Oh, no. Basko Valley, I'm not going to believe in America. Men are going to be sent to jail if they're doing something honest like giving them back the wallet these are found. Oh, you greener, aren't you? That's the shows of how much you know about America. Luigi, don't you know first place you violated the second biggest American law that says only full of citizens are allowed to find anything in the street? But a Basko Valley? And then after finding the wallet, you went and violated the biggest American law of all about a stolen property, the NRA. NRA, what's that stand for? Never return anything. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a little idea you'll find useful when you're busy working around your home or at your job. Occasionally, during the day, slip a stick of delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum into your mouth. Grite along working and chewing at the same time. You'll find that the smooth, pleasant chewing relieves the monotony, helps keep you from getting restless or tense. As a result, you naturally feel better and work better. Always keep a package of refreshing Wrigley's Spearmint Gum handy so that you can chew and enjoy a stick whenever you want. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother-in-law. And so, Mamma Mia, you know, believe what's happened to me. From a doing a little thing like a finding a wallet is turned out to be one of the worst things in my life. Men, as I say, I took $100 from him. Pasquale, as I say, I'm going to jail. How could such a thing have happened to me? Mamma Mia, you know I'm never taking things that don't belong to me. Even a home when I'm a used to milk of the cow. I'm always asked her first before I'm a took of the milk. But it might be I'm a worry for Nattana because I know that once I see Mr. Simpson in the court I'm going to explain a story he's not going to make any trouble. Well, well, well. Summons are for Luigi Basco to appear in a municipal court this morning, eh? I'm afraid it's terrible about it. Yeah, but Pasquale isn't at the right. Since I'm a come to America I'm always here, honesty is the best of policy. Luigi, you've got to stop believing in them crazy po-bobs. They also got to say in America the early bird catches the worm, right? That's right, Pasquale. Is that your ambition in life to get up four o'clock in the morning and catch worms? Then they say, look before you leap, no? Yes, sir. If you look by and state the building you look before you leap. You're still in a bad shape. Luigi, let me pay that to Mr. Simpson is a hundred dollars and a settle the whole thing. Yeah, but Pasquale, I'm going to have a talk with that money. Luigi, who are you thinking the judges are going to believe? A man with a million dollars in the bank or a fellow who's got a two collar buttons in his check and a cow? What am I going to do? Luigi, my fellow booboo. I rushed right over as soon as I heard they are taking you to court. Now, smile, Luigi, and tell me what happened. What are you going to do? I'm going to know what to do, but if Pasquale says I'm going to pay Mr. Simpson a hundred dollars, I'm going to get a stealer before he's going to jump off of the Empire State Building and kill some early worms. Oh, that scheming Pasquale, has he got you for shimmels? Now, wait a minute, Mr. delicatessen. You are ignoring Pasquale. Ah, Luigi, stop looking so depressed. I'm going to get all your friends or neighbors and we are going to defend an honest man. Thank you, sir. Sure, we'll all go along with you to the court and give you encouragement. You've got to win. Come and feel much better already. That's right. Now, stop crying on smile. Me like me, Luigi, always happy, always laughing. My rheumatism is killing me. Now in session, judgment you're presiding. Next case, Peter T. Simpson, plaintiff versus Luigi Basko defendant. Your Honor, I am the attorney for Mr. Simpson. May I call on my client to take the stand? Rosie. Now, Mr. Simpson, will you tell the court exactly what happened? Certainly. I lost my wallet last week. It contained $130 in cash. $30 in small bills and a $100 bill from a check that I had just cashed at the bank in that amount. And when the police turned that wallet over to you, that $100 bill was missing? That is correct. That'll be all, Mr. Simpson. Your Honor, may I question the defendant now? Commission granted. Luigi Basko, step to the stand. Yes, sir. Mr. Basko, will you please ask your friends to refrain from any further demonstration? Please, friends, no more refrains. I'm assured in this court truth and injustice is going to win. Your Honor, I object. Sure, he objects to truth and justice. Your remarks are incompetent and irrelevant. Your relatives are incompetent, too. Clear the court. Rosie. Mr. Basko, do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and not much truth? I'll help you, God. Yes, I'm always a tell-it-truth. Once in Italy, my Uncle Pietro's a ghost. Mr. Basko, who cares about your Uncle Pietro's coat? Huh? What did you say, please? I said, who cares about your Uncle Pietro's coat? The god's a girlfriend. Motion. Rosie. Mr. Basko, tell the court. How much do you earn in your antique business? How about $20 a week when a business is a good? Uh-huh. Mr. Basko, how can you live on $20 a week? Isn't that easy? Mr. Basko, I understand you have a mother in Italy to whom you write every week. That's right. I suppose you try to send her money occasionally? I'm a try my best, but all I'm gonna send her is a $5 a week. Then you live on $15 a week. Mr. Basko, how do you do this? Every Monday morning he goes out and finds a wallet with $100. Mr. Basko, you could use $100, couldn't you? Well, uh... Now admit it, you could, couldn't you? Yes, I could. Good. Now say you had $100 and the money was all yours. What would you do with it? I think I would have given it to your client, Mr. Simpson. He seems to have missed it so much. Your Honor, he would send that money to his mother, or he would live on it. I think I have established the fact that the defendant had the motivation and the opportunity to commit the crime is charged. We rest our case. Your Honor, I would like to say a few words before justice goes blind. Hey, you! Hey, you can back to your seat while I have the officer throw you out. You get your hands off me! It's my parking ticket to paying your salary! Let him go. Who are you, sir? My name is Carl Schultz. I'm a close friend of the defendant, and I would like to act as his lawyer. Well, it's a little irregular. But since Mr. Basko has no official lawyer, I have no objection that Mr. Basko has none. Well, I should say yes, Luigi. Into my head an idea just pooped. All right, you, Your Honor. Very well. Proceed, Mr. Schultz. But first, I would like to question the complaint of Mr. Simpson. Mr. Simpson, step to the stand. Now, Mr. Simpson, what business are you in, please? I'm a real estate operator. And how much do you earn a week? In the neighborhood of a thousand dollars. That's no neighborhood, that's a whole development! Mr. Simpson, are you positive you cashed that check for the hundred dollars you are talking about? Of course I am. I could tell you about every big business deal I've had since 1915. Ah, big deals you remember, but very often you could forget little ones, hm? What? To you a hundred dollars is very little. Quick, what's the color of your tie? Blue. It's green. Ha! What color socks are you wearing? Red. It's brown. Has the church got brown hair or black hair? Black hair. The wrong is bold. I object. Mr. Simpson, I want you should look in your checkbook and see if you really cashed that check. Certainly. Here's my checkbook. I'll open it. I object to this form of questioning. I object to you! Your Honor, may I see you in your chambers for a few moments? Court is recessed for five minutes. Well, Luigi, that Schultz is a mess things up a plenty, eh? Pascuali, I'm scared. Why the judge and Mr. Simpson is going to that little room? Why you think? To play canazza? Mr. Simpson, he's just found a new evidence. He's going to show to the judge, you see? And in five minutes you're going to have a choice. Twenty years or life. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Luigi, it's not too late. I should have paid Mr. Simpson a hundred dollars. You just say the magic a little way to my daughter Rosa. Or it's a behind the bars for you. All right, Pascuali, I'm a god to know choice. It's just so happened, she's waiting outside in the hall. I'm going to call her in. Rosa! Rosa, I shouldn't... Mr. Baskov, would you please come up here? I'd like to talk to you. Please, the judge, because I'm not a citizen, you're going to find them a guilty? Mr. Baskov, in America our courts see that justice is done to citizens and non-citizens alike. Oh, thank you, judge. And furthermore, Mr. Baskov, there's no reason for you to be nervous. During the recess, Mr. Simpson revealed to me that he found that on-cash check in his check board. Come on, ma'am. Come on! Oh, thank you, thank you, friends. She'll say thank you very much. Mr. Baskov, I owe you a great apology. That's all right, Mr. Simpson. We ought to make a mistake sometimes. Mr. Baskov, I feel terrible about all the trouble I've caused you. Your character is worth more than all my money. Luigi Crick, make a swap! Mr. Baskov, I never cashed this check. I've endorsed it over to you. I'd like you to cash it. No, thank you, Mr. Simpson. Oh, I'm a draughty. Luigi, pick it up. Oh, no, they're not going to catch me twice in the same day. And so, ma'am, everything is a turn out all right. After the court, Mr. Simpson was a feeling terrible, and he's tried to make me take the check. I must say I don't want it. Sure, it's a set of take-it, but squally is a set of grab-it. But I must say it's a no-belong-it to me. Men, as I say, it's a no-belong-it to him. So, ma'am, I'm here. You're going to find it inside of this letter. It's a no-belong-it to you. Well, ma'am, I'm here. I'm going for a walk now. And I'm going to walk out of my head the high up in the air. Is it not to so much that I'm a proud? Is it just that I'm a no-one to take a chance to find an any more wallet? You're loving the son of Luigi Baskar, the little immigrant. Folks, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they'd like to remind you that somewhere right near where you live or work, there's a friendly merchant who displays popular, well-known brands of chewing gum for your convenience. Next time you're at the store, stop at the gum counter and get a few packages of delicious Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum. Enjoy chewing this healthful, refreshing treat yourself and keep Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum on hand for your family and friends to enjoy. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum invite you to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Baskar writes another letter to his mama Baskar in Italy. Life with Luigi is produced and directed by Si Howard and is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Dermott. Luigi Baskar with Alan Redis for Squally, Hans Connery to Schultz, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Ship as Miss Balding, Joe Forte as Horovic is under the direction of Vlad Gluskin. The Wrigley Company invite you to listen to their other program, the Gene Opry show every Saturday night over most of the same CBS station.