 Welcome to Dare to Dream. This is your host, Debbie Daschinger. Super cool to be here with you. This podcast has been nominated for two People's Choice Podcast Awards and a Webby Award. And just last week, I found out that this show, Dare to Dream with Debbie Daschinger, was listed in Welp Magazine as one of the top 20 best podcasts to listen to in 2021. So very grateful for that. And for whomever is finding their way here to the show, who didn't know about it before. I've been around for 14 years doing this from radio, parlaying it into podcasts, writing books, coaching and so forth. So super glad that you are around for this ride. This show is sponsored by Dr. Dane here in Access Consciousness. They do amazing work out in the world. It's all energy healing related. And you could take it in any country, whether live or online. So go check them out at drdanehere.com, that's H-E-E-R or accessconsciousness.com. Again, I'm Debbie Daschinger and I am a media visibility authority. I teach business owners, coaches, entrepreneurs and speakers the time effective action steps to write a highly engaging book. I also turn each author's book into a guaranteed international bestseller. And I show you how to book podcast guest interview spots so that you can create a lot of impact and visibility with ease. If you would like your tips how to get booked on podcast, what kind of pictures and things to turn in? So the hosts say yes, go to debbiedaschinger.com slash gift. And it is my gift to you. It's D-E-B-B-I-D-A-C-H-I-N-G-E-R.com slash gift. Are you looking to power up your life, your space and your business? My guest today is Tandy Pryor who shows entrepreneurs how to increase their income by using a powerful combo of Feng Shui, coaching and intuition. She empowers them to use their home or office space as a vehicle for making radical shifts in their lives and increasing wealth, productivity and peace of mind. Tandy's intuitive advice and insights on how to set clearer boundaries, rediscover personal power and heal past experiences and fears that have stopped you have been called raw, transformative, hilarious, honest, refreshing, innovative, spot on and spookily accurate. If you'd like to learn more about the guest, go to debbiedaschinger.com slash gift. If you'd like to learn more about the guest, go to tandypryorcoaching.com and Tandy, it is so great to have you on Dear to Dream. Welcome to the show. Thank you, I am so happy to be here. Just so we could get clarity, you are not Richard Pryor's daughter? No, I'm not. I got asked that all the time in high school. He was very popular then, so that was fun. Yeah, Pryor is a reference point but I understand you're very funny because I have a friend who's worked with you and that's how you got here today. So it's very cool. I wanna start out by talking about people blocking their power. So this is something I understand you see a lot which is great. What I love about that by the way, Tandy is that it aligns so much with what I teach in the world about writing books, about being seen, being visible, being interviewed, allowing a positive footprint on the planet that needs your services and being so badly. So when I see that one of your specialties is how to heal what people are blocking specifically around power, that's like yes, because it helps them also step into visibility more. So can we talk about that to start with people blocking their power and how can they stop doing that? Yes, oh my gosh. As a coach and seeing women in business and actually coach men too, one of the ways that I really saw this continual playing out so to speak of this block power, I call it leaking power is through their physical space. So I use the feng shui piece as a way to empower my clients. And so when you're saying they're losing power or I say leaking power, first off, a lot of times what the first thing I'll see is clutter. And it's a buffer. I mean, clutter is a buffer. It's a time sucker. It's not, it's a your items have memory. They have a vibration, the things around you. And so a lot of times people that aren't stepping into their power who know that they're here to do more, they may be buying the next launch. They may be hiring the next marketing coach. Nothing wrong with that. But if they, when I get into their physical space and I can see how their desk, office or home looks, I can see what they oftentimes can't see for themselves and interpret it through the things that are around them. How they're, like I said, how their desk is positioned, how much clutter, what's there, where it's positioned, all of that and the resistance around that. It'll always, that's the first one. Like what are you getting out of keeping the buffer of clutter around you? Yeah, I could say so much about that because my partner and I have different modalities when it comes to clean, tidy versus clutter. And it has a great impact on me because I'm a sensitive, which means I'm also very sensitive to locations, extremely so. Colors, everything, maybe luxury. So to put two different styles together, talk about that. So when you are a different style than your mates, how do you negotiate? I love that because I get asked that a lot because most people aren't, I am in my own space now because all of my kids left and I'm divorced. So I get to say what's where, which is really empowering after living so long, not having that. But when you're with a partner and somebody's more cluttery, somebody is not intentional, that really gets down to it being a boundary issue and the introduction, you talked about boundaries. I'm really a specialist around that. And you have to have areas that are just for you that you can renew and especially if you are very sensitive, I'm the same. And there's things need to be a certain way or I get kind of, and I didn't really realize I was so much like that but as I've advanced and changed and grown and stepped into this version of myself in the last 10 years, I see it, it's really important. So they need to be able to have their space. If that's, if you're gonna make it work, you can't really, I mean, if somebody might change if they wanna change but if they're not willing to change then you have to be real clear about specific boundaries. Like you can have this area and you can keep it the way you want to but our neutral zone needs to be like this and then you get to have your space. And that's something that's really coming through right now with people working from home. You talk about own and power, like it's important to claim a space for yourself, man, male or female, to really say, I get, I'm bringing in this much to the household or whatever it is and claiming a space. So people who say, okay, look, maybe I got some of that going on. I feel like that's probably a call to action. And they wanna take their space and say, I do wanna up level it. I do wanna create better business, better wealth. What kind of shifts can people make that you can point out that maybe they can implement just listening to this? I would love to do that. I would love nothing more than everybody that's listening have clear steps where they can go today or tomorrow and do things. I always start off first and foremost with your intention. What do you want? What's working? What isn't working? Is it money? Is it love? In fact, I have my little handy Bagua map, which is what I always use. And if anybody wants one of these, they can write me and I'll give them a free one of these. But these are the nine areas and the way that I do instinctive feng shui, I use this as a guide. So if you come in the front door, your back left corner is money. A lot of people ask me about that. Using the front door as the how you walk in the door and then back right is relationship. So those are the two things that people usually ask about. Okay, so yes. And what is doors about? Did you say it's about money specifically the flow of? Well, yes. I mean, that is, it's about abundance. So abundance isn't always money, but if it is money that you're working at once, back left corner is where you want to focus. Now you can take your office also from the door. Is that behind you there? The door to the office. So you can do this on a macro scale or you can do just a room. Does that make sense? So you can- I think you're saying to take the Bagua, is that what you call it? Yes. You can implement it like a blueprint over the entire house or apartment or you can put the whole thing, all the quadrants over one room. Right. And so using the door behind you coming in, that back left you're probably sitting in it is your money corner there. Oh, good. Yeah. So that's good that you're sitting in it. Yes, yes. So that's first is to like, what's going on? You know, are you making lots of money but let's say you don't have time. That's an empowerment issue. I go a lot around that to the intuition and wisdom area, which we need this little map for all of that. But it can be that, it can be money, it can be love, whatever it is, create your intention. That's first, really get real with yourself. Two, this is really important, clean, clear and declutter. It's, you know, if you don't love it, lose it. Like I said, it has a vibration, it's a buffer to your success. And it's really important to make sure you don't have things around you. Like I had a client who wanted a better marriage, yet she had a rocking chair from her ex-husband's mother by her bed. So there's so many things I could tell stories like that where it's like, seriously? And it definitely was affecting it. If you want more money in that area, the back left corner using your front door, if it's cluttered, if the door is shut to it, you'll get some life in it, get it cleared out, get it cleaned really good. That's the first couple of things, the shifts that you can make around that. And then like in your office, and hopefully we're gonna talk about your office too, it's about power positioning your desk. And that single-handedly has made my clients more money than anything. You have to be ready to be in the power position too. As I see all kinds of resistance, I'll tell them how to do it and they'll do it almost. Or they'll, there's slight little things because you've gotta have the mindset and be ready to welcome in more and abundance and to set your desk up for success in what we call the power position. That is one of the most important things. Right, so how can you tell if somebody has given their power away to family, beloveds, clients, fears or just through desire, oh, I just really wanna be nice. How does that show up? Well, that would come from the conversation and I would be able to, I've been doing this long enough, I can hear that like my first clients were the, I got that, I always call them, they were all like, oh, I've got that. Cause you know, that's what their mother did. My very first client, I love to tell that story cause I could tell because she couldn't sleep, she was stressed out, she made a lot of money, but she wasn't happy. She had, you know, a 10,000 square foot house, a couple of kids, the Land Rover, you know, and a husband that didn't work and she just piled on more and more and more and more. And because she was local and I went to her space, I went into her home and on that first level was this, you know, beautiful cherry-lined office and it was his office and he didn't work. So there's a boundary issue right there. She did all the cooking, took all the kids, did all the work, did everything. There's another boundary issue. So that's the first key in the physical space. So I asked her where her office was and down to the basement, we went and that was a finished basement. It was nice, I had to walk out, okay? But I walked in and it completely showed me, it was just a hellhole. Every single person in the family, the kids, her husband, everybody dumped everything in her office, unwrapped Christmas presents, pictures from the 70s, those computers that were like this wide. And there she was with her little crystal, you know, sales, she worked for a big corporation and she had all these sales things that were in there. So that was the other way of showing no boundaries, giving away all her power, not speaking up for what she wanted. And there it was. So I always go to that very first time that I really got how the physical space reflects what's going on in their life. So real quick, she kicked everybody's stuff out, lined it up, said you have three days to get rid of it or it's going. She painted it, within one day she found a painter and painted it this gorgeous color that she loved. It was a pale kind of buttery yellow. She positioned her desk in the power position and she framed her children's artwork because they were what kept her going. And she created this amazing space and doubled her sales. But more importantly, she stopped doing everything for everybody. She got her personal power back and it was really anchored in her physical space. So Feng Shui, let's just talk about that. I know it's an ancient art and it's a science that was developed over 3,000 years ago in China. And Feng means wind and Shui means water. Exactly. She talked about good health, good fortune, aligning energies with surroundings. What else can you add here? So people understand, what is this practice? Why would they use somebody like you? Yeah, so it was designed to create space. Well, first it was designed to bury people. That's how it started, and it's 5,000 years ago. And there's eight schools of Feng Shui and you'll have people that are purists on using compass. I was a trained on compass. What I do and the way I do it works and I get results. So if that ever changes, I might look something else up but right now that works. And it was designed to create a way to receive, right, everything's about receiving. It was about how to bring in and create a physical space for good Qi. It's about how things flow. Think about, for lack of, like your blood flows through your body, it flows like this and it's kind of energy flows in and out. And if you have certain positioning of furniture where it's blocking the flow into that room and then you correlate it with your map, then you're gonna see, oh, gosh, I want more money. I better move that because I'm actually stopping it. The way to do that is to look at can a dancing couple move through the space. Might be a teeny couple, depending. I like, yeah. Yeah. And here, if Rob and I were to dance, you're saying we would need enough, I hope it's not like the cha-cha or the tango because we're, it's not gonna happen. But if it's like a small line dance or maybe slow dance, we could. You're just tiny people that can flow through. But it is about like, you look at it, like can you flow through it? Or are you running into things or you stopped? Do you walk in the front door and you're immediately greeted by something blocking you, whether it's a piece of furniture or something. It's a unconscious way of saying, stop. Don't come in any further. So I'm trained in instinctive feng shui which is Denise Lynn's training and it involves shamanic training and energy and all different types of things. Yeah. Well, you and I have a lot in common then because that is very much the lineage that I am deeply involved in the last couple of years but for me, it's a lot of music as medicine, healing, singing at ceremonies and so forth. So I'm deeply into that world. So I honor where you come from. And before we get started and show people an example of this using my office, and I know you've kindly offered to do so. I wanna know more about you, my dear. So Tandy, here you are, you're strong, you are visible, which I love, right? You're out there, you've got good energy and you were a mom, realtor, healer and people looked at you and said, girl, you're powerful but you say that inside something else was going on. You didn't quite feel that. Can you talk us, what was that? What is your story? How did you ever become expansive? Yeah, I'm so glad you asked that. I feel like I came into this world to do the work that I'm doing now and I started it at 50 but I was part of the closed adoption system. I was adopted at two months by an amazing family. My mother's still alive at 94 and that closed system bred a bit of a rebel in me and a real desire to search and get the truth. And so my whole life has been kind of this, dance between rebelling and following the rules and at the same time searching for the truth. I've always loved to look for the truth. And I made a lot of choices that weren't empowered then. I didn't have my power. I didn't feel like I knew who I was and I did luckily get to meet everybody and so I'm what they would call a fully reunited adoptee which is super cool. And that helped me personally heal. Some people don't feel that need, I understand that. But for me, I feel much more healed and whole. And along the way, I had another huge thing in my 30s with a near death experience with the birth of my son and it was an amniotic embolism. And it really was like I was this and then all of a sudden I woke up and I could, I was always intuitive. I had tons of little imaginary friends that I chatted with all the time when I was little, very sensitive. But after that near death, man, I could see things, know things. That's how I did body work for a long time and I was an energy healer. And then I took that into the real estate world when I found myself divorced with three kids. So I did that for like 10 years before I thought, okay, I'm gonna start all of this up and wrap it into a coaching. And so I could really help empower women in business and in their lives. Most of the time it's personal, like business is personal is what I love to say. The big changes come from the personal work. The big changes come from the personal work. So you mean specifically that people be working on themselves to heal, to grow, because it's reflected out here. Yes, it reflects like recently I have another client who's just push, push, push, push through that the terrible things that happened to her growing up and how she got where she is was hustle, push, grind. And then she got to that table, the table with a male dominated business in this instance. And those skills didn't work anymore. That wasn't gonna get her to the next level. And she's exhausted in her 30s. And I'm like, wait till you're 50, if you don't work on that, she will be exhausted by then. And so what kind of changes was she making that facilitated some kind of change in her world? Clear boundaries with family, clear boundaries with family of origin and spouse. Okay, so you've brought this up a couple of times and mentioned that you're an expert. And I just gotta ask because I know this is so important. I know how important this can be. And will you just illuminate us? How do we come about boundaries? How do we communicate boundaries? What if someone wants one thing in a relationship and we want another and how do we make that clear? Like this is okay, this is a red flag, not okay, et cetera. Like what is the way to navigate that space successfully? I think that as a coach, that's some of the best work that I've ever been able to do for people. And yeah, the money is great when people make more money. But it's that inner peace and that happiness that comes from learning that no is a complete sentence and that you do not have to be everything to everybody. And when you start to realize the cost, like we talk about boundaries and it's a word and it's like, oh yeah, we need those. But when you really look at the cost of having no boundaries, it's relationships end over it. There's a complete and total anxiety that can be with it because you don't, and then the inner rage because you're not saying what you really wanna say, you're so used to keeping people happy and being people pleaser that you just don't wanna say it because you don't wanna make somebody mad or hurt their feelings. And then you realize that the cost is so great to your physical, mental, emotional health that it's not worth not acknowledging and taking care of. And sometimes I think it really begins with being aware of what you get from it. That's the hard part. Like what's the benefit? People don't do things unless there's a benefit. So you mean the benefit to being overly nice or not getting structure to take care of your benefits. It can be that you're so used to being a victim of circumstances of people, places and things that you don't really learn how to speak up for your own needs. Wow. This is a conversation. It's really powerful. And I don't think people realize the cost of not saying no. It is so great to the quality of life. The changes and the blooming that I have seen with people that start to implement. And I always say it's like a, you almost have to be in training. It's like you're building muscle. You don't just all of a sudden one day. And by the way, having boundaries, most women automatically, I just don't want to be a bitch. It's not about that. You can have boundaries and still be kind. And if you don't have to be, you don't have to be kind to put boundaries either. It's okay to just say no. Will you give us an example? How might somebody, I know this is a bit from left field, but maybe you have a story where you can say how someone might express a boundary. Because I think for most of us, what's most important is whenever possible that we are received, we're heard, we're seen, right? So if we're going to speak up and use that energy to take care of ourselves and say something that is important to us, how can we best say it so that what we're saying is being received? And we have the greatest chance for success in getting our needs met. That's interesting that you say that. Here's how that showed up one time in a financial advisor office. And she was so used to pleasing that, and she was so skilled and she was paying for really high-end coaching. So what she did was just continue. This is different than the last one I was talking about. Was to start taking on, like fixing everything in the office. Like, oh yeah, I've got 10 minutes for you. Oh yeah, I've got 10 minutes. And the way that her office and her desk was positioned was that as soon as somebody walked by, they could make eye contact. Yeah, just come on in. Zero boundaries. But when we actually got in there and said, no wonder you're not making the money you don't want, you're giving away your time for free to a big corporation. You are training everybody in the office for nothing because she was getting a need met. She was liked, she was needed. And until she realized it, it was more important than actually doing your job and serving her people, which is really about empowering women with money in this particular instance. She was getting her needs met. She was completely unaware of. Hence why it's good to have an outside person looking at what you're doing because there was hardly any billable time where she could actually build her own business. She was busy helping everybody else because that's what her mom did. So this was a lineage situation being passed down. Almost all of the ones I've talked about. And it's not that anybody meant to harm. It's just that's what you're taught. Powerful. Yeah. All right. Did that answer your question? Yeah, I mean, pretty much. And I guess the other side of that, the flip side of that is so when she decided, okay, I cannot be of service at this level to others because there's no service left for me. And that she wanted to create something where she, I'm sure she still served people, but it was from a completely different paradigm. So did she have to express that to people? And then how did she do that? I'm so glad you answered that because I felt like I got telling you that story and I'm like, wait a minute. So that was it. So she had to start saying no. So she decided that she would give so much time. There were two scheduled times per week that people could get on her calendar and she gave a link. And it's like, if you want this and she got compensated by the company. And that worked for a while but she even got rid of that after that because the business started, she actually ended up leaving and doing her own thing after that because she realized how powerful and how impactful. And the first thing was saying no and realizing what benefit she was getting from it. That was hard for her to take in that she was actually just reenacting growing up as the middle child and getting noticed for helping having the answer and being needed. Well, I love that that was a success story and that she found her voice and then found her path as well. That's pretty good. Yeah, yes. Yeah, I guess one can inherently lead to the other. So this is my thought. You tell me if this is the best way for us to work because you and I have never done this before the first time we're meeting. Yeah. We have a camera that I can pick up and literally show you the room. It's not terribly big. And I can tell you just cursory. This is the office in our home. Okay. This is my desk I am sitting on at which faces out. I get to look at Sampagio cactus and some beautiful plants that are right here by the window so-so hummingbirds come and sometimes I'm working and they're like right here. Yeah. And I can show you around. And so the caveat, this is a pre-cabinet. So Rob and I share the home like every space except for closets, we share. And like I said, different styles. I'm probably not the cleanest person in the world but I'm definitely tidy because I'm too sensitive to, I can't visually or anything. Something we are literally doing right now. We started a couple of weeks ago so it was very slow. We're going through everything since we're a merged household and we are decluttering. In fact, we did more this morning. We're not complete because we wanna get rid of some cabinets, file cabinets because as you'll see, what I do besides coaching people in books and being interviewed and having this podcast is for the past nine months, he and I have been making music, medicine music, healing music, uplifting music. We perform, I sing, he plays guitar, we perform at online gigs, parties, what else, live things, festivals. So we've been doing, and we love it. And this is growing. We have a lot of instruments and he loves to buy instruments. So that's, we wanna have a place for that plus we wanna get crystal bowls. I've got one over here. I love them. Some of them are taking classes in this right now, but I don't wanna bring more in just to have more. I must have the space. That's me, let's have the space first. So is there anything you wanna know before I show you around? Well, we'll do what we can today, but what I wanna offer too because I've had so much fun with you today is I'd love to do a check-in because if there's two of you, I'm just gonna give some certain principles and some ideas and then have you guys work with them a little bit and then we'll do just a quick follow-up check-up afterwards and make sure that it's like you wanted to. Cause, but there's a couple of things like right now that we can go on. I wanna, it looks like a happy office. I wanna say that. It looks like a happy space. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. I try to fill it with, I'm gonna do this for the audience because I'm gonna pull back the curtain and let you see what it looks like really all around me. I don't know what the magic Tandy makes here. So this is very interesting. I'm gonna try to, this is actually artwork by a uncle of mine who's since passed, very, very famous Hugo Daschinger. And I've seen some awards, me and my best friend, Tamara, who's also my sister-in-law. This is my little reminder. Money is hidden behind everything you resist doing your business. The things Rob and I wanna create. That's my beautiful calendar from Susan Miller, the astrologer. I'm gonna go here so you can see this a little bit. That's my outside plants. This is my geode, amethyst, my alien. And I'll go over there. Okay. You can see some of this. I just wanna make sure this is, it's very interesting way to do this. So gong, plants, this is, so now we're gonna start in a little bit on, there's mega instruments. We've got a violin there, three different guitars. And these are one or two of these will be exiting these pile cabinets, some pictures of us, flowers, Buddha. That's his back there. Okay. He doesn't come in much to do it, our printer. And that's sort of it. We've got this in the ceiling. Okay, so is that a dog? That's my puppy, that's shy. I saw it, I was like, hello puppy. Will you stand at the, can you stand or get like, so I can see from the door? Can I stand, like put this back, you mean to stand at the door? I just need to be able to see what the room looks like from the door. Can you do that? I think I can. Okay. If you tell me, so this is the door here. Okay, so you, let's see, I can't. So what I'll need you to do is probably just send me some pictures, but let's go through the, the number one thing that will bring in more, more abundance, more of what you want, is to get your desk in the power position. So right now you have your back to the door. So it's, that is like numero uno, like let's shift that. So I can't really see, but the best thing, you don't necessarily want to be lined up with the door, you know, facing it, but we need you to turn your desk, either maybe on the other side of the window or that. It's, it's as if, right behind me is a solid wall. So a power position is about having a solid wall behind you, facing your opportunities, which is the door. And you've got a lot of furniture in there. So we would have to shift some furniture around. What I have people do, and it's, I'm kind of got my hands tied a little bit cause I can't really see how much space on either side of the window. Like ideally it would be great if you, to your right, if you could float the desk off a little bit, get behind it, have a solid wall behind you, you could still look out the window to your right, and you could see the door to your left. So you have to, you would be looking at your opportunities coming to you through the doorway, like a person would, new clients, new music, new amazing people to interview, all of those things. And same with him, like if he could turn that, his is actually a little bit better because he's at least, not doesn't have his back to the door, but even if you both were on that side wall, if there was a way facing the door, so you could see the door, you floated off of it a little bit. Am I making sense? Absolutely. So I also hear you saying, so since without, if we move furniture, there is a way I could put my back to a wall and be facing the door to see and invite in things to come. In a loop of that, if I cannot move against a wall, then to somehow mitigate this so that maybe this bookcase and wall can be back here, the desk can be here, the window so I can still look out and enjoy the window, but also if I guess you were saying I would face this way and I could look and see. Yeah, and you could still enjoy your window. But I want you, what I have people do is move your chair around, both of you. The things that happen when I have people do this are, I mean, I have it, it's actually in writing somebody brought in 30K and she did not want to move her desk. She argued with me. She did everything. And when we got her power position, she has a business in California and lives at a different state. And it's just like the roads took off over and over again, that happens. Amazing, okay. Yeah. That's inspiring. So you want a solid wall behind you. It's like having the, I look at it like the universe behind you, supporting you. I've had a client that did beautiful things behind her. Everybody that ever loved or supported her, she had pictures behind her like that. And she sat in front of that. And it was so, like I can tell you very intentional. So what you want to do with this power positioning is really be intentional in there. And I want to say this to anybody down here that's listening to is it's getting rid of stuff is almost more powerful than bringing things in. I can tell you're already very intentional and that's wonderful. Everything in there, I can tell has a purpose. And there's just a way of how can you not have your back to the door and begin to really face what's new. And it sounds like you've got new, great things coming. Oh, I love that. And I have felt that intuitively. I don't even think it's intuitively. I've felt it because every time Rob suddenly walks in and is behind me, it's like, this is not good. It feels weird. So I definitely understand that energetically. I agree. And we will play with this. That's a very, very, very old. I mean, that is as primal as it gets to, it goes for anybody, anybody, even if they say they don't, but you still have that like who's coming up behind me. Who's coming up behind me? Right. And the other person doesn't mean anything by it. They're just coming in space to talk to you. But yes, very weird. And I like that suggestion. I love the story too about the person who has people who love and say nice things, have good intentions for her. So if our intention, I would say overall, obviously both of us love our own personal business successes. That's awesome. With our music and our new band called Lions of Leera, what we really want, since we're fairly new at this, is definitely the finances. And the opportunity is most important to be creating that the people will come. They'll attend. They'll invite us. There'll be a lot of opportunities to perform. But also it is our intention to create sound healing events way beyond crystal bowls, like way beyond with what we do. And that might include medicine, it might not. We're at the inception stages of playing with the ideas. We would like success financially and also sustainably that build it and they will come. What would you recommend? I would work in that corner where your sister-in-law and you are, that's your money corner over there. I would put your intentions, I would get rid of anything that doesn't go in that room anymore. And I got a really clear picture. I don't know if you could do this, but use your instruments as art in there. Like put them up, like have that whole wall and that wall like what you're facing, if you power positioned your desk and what both of you would be looking at would be like each instrument has a place where it goes. Yeah, it's amazing you say that because that's a vision I've had, Tandy. I grew up in a very musical family and my grandparents in their living had instruments. My mother had some kind of like amazing long sitar that was on our wall. So that is a beautiful way, I think, to express on the walls what it is we do and then it's easy to pick up the instrument. Well, and you're also looking at where you're going and they're representing that. Now, I didn't grow up with that, I wanna say that. I didn't grow up with music, there was a piano in the house but there was nothing on the walls. So I'm saying I think I must have, you know, intuited from you that because I could see the instruments on the wall and put up almost like an installation. Okay, keep going. I like, so good. Yes, so the clean, clear and declutter, well, intentions first, clean, clear and declutter. You really wanna power up your furniture. You know, command position also goes for the bedroom too. By the way, if I'm gonna write a book, I need to write a book about bedside tables. I could tell you so much about relationships and bedside tables through the last 10 years. I think that would be a hilarious book. Maybe I need to come to you, write that book. You are invited to come to my group or do private. So there, anybody who wants to write a book, debbie-singer.com slash visible visionaries. So tell me, so that makes me very intrigued. That sounds like a housewives of or something bedside tables. What's the deal with bedside tables? Oh my gosh, the inequalities in relationships almost always show up in the bedside tables. If there's problems or there's like a power leak. I mean, I had one client, she had all this great big furniture like Colorado, whatever the big trees are out there and the Amar looked like that and the bedside table on his side looked that big strong, big strong, heavy, everything. Except in hers was like this three-legged thing with all the kids stuff hanging on it. It looked like he was ready to fall. And that's exactly what the relationship was. She'd handed over all her power. She couldn't even get like spending money and she had the money and it was tied up with him. And it wasn't like he tried to take it. She just handed it to him. So part of it was like getting her back at her power but we had to like order her a bedside table that was of equal height and strength as his. Now I understand, because I've dabbled as a complete novice in Feng Shui. I know you say Feng Shui. Is it okay that I say Feng Shui? Yeah, whichever. Yeah, maybe it's a Midwestern thing. I don't know. So Feng Shui. And I understand that matching is of import. What are your thoughts on that? Matching bedside tables, matching lamps, et cetera, that that creates the synergy between the couple? I think that's important. I also am okay when people don't wanna be matchy-matchy but they have to be the same strength, same height, same, you know, I like the lamps to match. I do have to say that. But if they don't, it's the same thing. You can't have some tiny little falling over little, you know, wimpy one, some great big strong stone-based one on the other side. It will show, it does show up, craziest things I've seen. And as far as you mentioned something about the bed, Tandy, is that, so is it very important that your bed be facing the door? Right, but your feet do not go out the door. They shouldn't be going out the door, off to the side. So you need the solid wall behind you, the headboard, facing the door so you can sleep a lot better. So you don't have to worry. You don't ever wanna be sleeping on the same door that you enter the room in, like lined up on that door. You wanna be across from it so you can see who's coming in. Makes all the difference in the world. Very important for kids, very important. I've worked a lot in kids' rooms that hate the rooms and that had a lot to do with it. Okay. Yeah. And what else for people who love is very important? Let's say they're in a relationship and they wanna keep it flowing and they wanna keep whatever the good juju going on, what would you recommend? Well, you can work one in the, according to the Bagua and Love and Relationships in the houses around here, the master bedroom is oftentimes in the back right corner, but not always. So I think it's really important to treat that room like the oasis it should be. I have my clients get those super soft, furry little side rugs so that when they step out of bed on each side, the first thing their feet hit are those luxurious, make it a place to connect that's really important, not laundry baskets around. Like it should be an oasis and it should be something that supports both of you and the growth as a couple. No TV, no TV in that room. And if there is a, it's like a three-way, then all of a sudden there's three people in the relationship, the TV and the two people. So it should be a place, if possible. Now, if somebody really insists on it, at least having it in an armoire where you can shut it or put something over it. Another thing that I've thought that I've seen and worked really well for getting couples to connect is to actually create a little spot beside the bed of really nice, comfortable chairs, have to either tea cups and to have tea there or champagne or whatever it is or wine. I know you love the wine too. Yeah, I heard you talking about that. Whatever it is, but create like two wine glasses and a place to really connect and unwind before you go to bed. So if there are people out there listening to this and saying, gosh, that sounds great, but my bedroom's kind of small. I don't know that I could fit all that in there. Is there any other element that they might be able to add that would create this oasis? I think it's what I was talking about. Make it romantic, don't hold back on luxurious sheets and bedding and things that you love, whatever your, I've had people that would, they love really high-end cotton. I've had people that really love silk. It's whatever you like. It's to trust what works for you on that and bring in, it's great to have two red candles in there or the two, like the two glasses I was talking about, even if it's small, then put it beside the bed. Think pairs of twos. Watch the art in the bedroom. Don't have art that's one person. That's just like one singular. If you really want a relationship to go, you'll have to, especially over the bed, to birds, to trees, to whatever you love, to musical instruments next to each other. Make sure one is a dominant over the other that they're kind of equal. That's important too. There was one other thing I wanted to say, oh, no pictures of people in the bedroom. No, no, there's no, don't, like other than you can have the couple can be in there, but no kids, no grandparents, no great Aunt Mary that passed away, nobody in there. There's other places for them, but not in the bedroom. Huge. Oh, yeah. It also is really eerie. And I bet any woman would say this, I don't know if men would, but it's very eerie. If you're dating or with somebody and you go in to do, you know, a bedroom's a sacred place for sleep, for nurturing, for love making, et cetera. And then you feel like there are these eyes on you from all these family members. I have always found that very strange when people choose to place pictures there. Yes, it's exactly for the reason you said too, who wants to be watched. That's right, and pictures have energy. So, you know, yeah, it's like having other people in that room. Yes, yes. Okay, so here we are. What are you next year to dream, Tandy? What are your future dreams and goals? I, my future dreams and goals are to travel more and that my kids, my youngest is a senior in college and the freedom that's coming from that, I wanna travel more and I wanna travel and learn more about the shamanic world and more, I'm always learning and dreaming and growing around that and I love learning. So, for me, travel is really enjoyable if I'm learning something at the same time. I really want to be even more visible with this methodology, the combining of coaching with the physical environment and how it doesn't, often times, I wanna say people are looking in the wrong place. Like when you shift your space and you start having these internal growth and changes that are with ease, there's really nothing that can replicate that. So, I wanna be out there more doing that. That's my natural gift and it's been part of what I do, but it hasn't always been something I leave with. So, that would probably be my biggest thing. What do you do, Tandy, on a daily basis to keep yourself grounded? I love my crystal ball, I play that. There's nothing that grounds me pretty much faster than that. And toning. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And I work at meditation, but it's not the easiest thing in the world for me, but I get into habits and then sometimes I'll get a little sidetracked with it and then pull myself back in it. But I think overall the most grounding thing for me is being outside. And it does, it can be in my backyard with my birds. I have a great backyard and bare feet. Yeah, earthing, it's a beautiful thing. And when you say toning, Tandy, do you mean chakra toning? Yes, and just the sound. That's beautiful. I just learned that this weekend and the sound healer practitioner class that we took and we still have another module to go, but that is something we did on Saturday and I was blown away by the power. Just toning up and down the chakras alone changed me. Then we toned over one another, right? So I might ask you, what's something you're working on, Tandy? What would you like some help with? Where could you be facilitated physically, emotionally, spiritually? And you would tell me, and I trust myself, I just know what I know. And then I would look also and see how it might match. Then I would allow the tone to come out because it would organically go somewhere and become something. And it was always amazing then to look at the chart when I was done to see which chakras I was singing over for somebody. But I will tell you, it was so powerful and experienced just to be sung over felt so caring. And then my boyfriend was toning over me. And at one point I had this huge urge just to start crying, I felt so moved. And he himself in his own space while toning had started crying, which is amazing, music really moves him. And so he had this visceral experience with somehow I felt in my space, even though both our eyes were closed and just beautiful gestalt. And I now love this practice. I know- I love that. Very powerful. Yes, it is. I love hearing about that where you're headed with that it sounds wonderful. I'm gonna keep an eye out for your event. I'm serious. Thank you, because we love to have you. My dear, it has been an honor and a pleasure. What would you like to tell the listeners of viewers here at the end? Oh wow, I've loved this. I love being here. And I think I would just say that the blueprint for your life is in your physical space. And the how to is right there in front of you. And it's so important to get how connected you are to your physical space. I think that's something we don't really teach or talk about. Ancient cultures knew that, everything from space clearing to the things that I'm talking about from way back. And we've lost some of those. And I love bringing the old to the new. The old to the new, which is very much the practice you're involved in. So folks who are interested, go to Tandy T-A-N-D-Y prior P-R-Y-O-R coaching dot com Tandy prior coaching dot com. And I end today's show with this quote from Luminous Spaces. Right now, look around your home as if you are there for the first time. What do you notice? What are the sights, sounds, smells, lighting, textures, colors? What kind of artwork do you see? Is it inspiring or depressing? Does it promote joy or sorrow? Or are there bare walls? Do you feel affection for this home or alienation? Is there beauty and playfulness? The question is this, what is your home saying about you and how you feel and experience life? Please subscribe to this Dare to Dream podcast so you can hear this number one weekly transformation conversation. Remember, if you like your free gift to learn how you can be interviewed, go to debbie-singer.com slash gift. And next week on the show, Chris, my friend, Christopher Van Buren is here. Chris is amazing. He is the founder of Launch Moxie and Van Buren Publishing. He helps authors, entrepreneurs, coaches, personal trainers and others get a better ROI on their marketing investments. And we go really deep about what you can do with your book today to truly get it out there. He is a specialist in publishing and marketing your work. Thanks, everybody, for joining us today. And remember, don't just dare to dream, dare to turn all your dreams into your reality.