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LOTR You keep nassty chips!

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Uploaded on May 21, 2009

Gollum withdrew grumbling, and crawled into the fern. Sam busied himself with his pans. "What a hobbit needs with coney," he said to himself, "is some herbs and roots, especially taters - not to mention bread. Herbs we can manage, seemingly."
"Gollum!" he called softly. "Third time pays for all. I want some herbs." Gollum's head peeped out of the fern, but his looks were neither helpful nor friendly. "A few bay-leaves, some thyme and sage, will do - before the water boils," said Sam.
"No! ' said Gollum. "Sméagol is not pleased. And Sméagol doesn't like smelly leaves. He doesn't eat grasses or roots, no precious, not till he's starving or very sick, poor Sméagol. '
"Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked," growled Sam. "Sam'll put his head in it, yes precious. And I'd make him look for turnips and carrots, and taters too, if it was the time o' the year. I'll bet there's all sorts of good things running wild in this country. I'd give a lot for half a dozen taters."
"Sméagol won't go, O no precious, not this time," hissed Gollum. "He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. Sméagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and - taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?
"Po-ta-toes," said Sam. "...But be good Sméagol and fetch me the herbs, and I'll think better of you. What's more, if you turn over a new leaf, and keep it turned, I'll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that."
"Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips! '
"Oh you're hopeless," said Sam. "Go to sleep!"
LOTR Bk IV Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
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