 I thought today I would like to speak to you about a word and a concept and an experience and a season of life called Transition. Everybody say Transition. Transition. Say it again. Transition. One more time. Transition. Alright, I'm not making you say to treat you like children at all. I just think when someone's teaching about a word that is not in your daily vocabulary saying it three times is the most you'll probably say it this year. So to hear yourself say a word you don't normally use connects you in a fast track way to get on the same page with me in the 37 minutes we have left, especially if it's a word and a concept that's unfamiliar to you or when you say the word things come to your mind that are not helpful or nothing comes to your mind which is why I'm here. Your church has been through a transition in its leadership recently. Ours as I mentioned a moment ago went through a huge transition after 32 years of pastoring and of course Michael and Kathy here pastoring for decades too. All leadership transitions that are of that nature whether it be in government or in the corporate world or in any arena where it is the passing on of a baton to the next generation of leaders by and large historically it's never done well for all kinds of reasons that are complicated so because it's never done well and it still doesn't seem to be done well and it's often not done well especially in the church world it's kind of worthy of our attention now and then I think to talk about it and see what we can learn and see how we can add our voice to doing it better on our watch because though you may not be the people that are in charge of something and so you can't relate to an analogy about a senior pastor passing something over to the emerging leadership or you can't relate to the leader of some political party or the corporate handing something over all of you, all of us are experiencing transition on a daily basis so you're all included in this talk in case you're thinking well this doesn't apply to me because it's about leadership and so on all of us as humans from the day we are born well from before we're born from getting out of the womb into the world you have a transition experience in fact there's a point in birth midwives will tell you there's a point in birth called the point of transition when the baby is in the birth canal and it's at the point of no return it can't go back it can only go forward and forward isn't appealing the baby's like who me through there I don't think so and after all this has been nine months of perfection I've had free food free drink transportation comfort no drama no responsibility why in the world would anybody throw me out of here that's typical of what we all feel about transition what is wrong with this place why would we change any of this is what you first felt when you were born and so that transition that you were in and again midwives tell us that typically in transition in the moment of transition in birth and you mothers know this so forgive me if this is triggering for you that point in birth where it's so much pain and agony and only you can experience that in the way that you do and in that room where a baby's been born there are three players that is the mother the midwife and the baby and if you interviewed them all there are a very different story to tell the baby would say what is going on what is wrong with you people doing this to me the baby feels crushed and squeezed and abused and hurt and misunderstood and not been taken care of the mother is in just pain and just wants the pain to end and get it over with and so the mother and the baby predominantly are in distress in that scenario the only one that's calm, cool and collected is the midwife and the problem is in transitions we have an abundance of babies and mothers and we have a famine of midwives so what happens is it all finishes up defaulting to panic and pain and misunderstanding and anger and aggression and confrontation because the people that tend to have the largest voice in transition are the ones in most pain so what we have to try to redeem in transitions is we have to get a calm head on it which in the you know birthing sweet analogy is the midwife because she's seen it all before there's nothing she hasn't seen everything that happens was expected they have backup plans for anything that might be randomly unexpected and they've done it millions of times and so I think those three figures you have to decide in your own personal transition as well as any other persons you're involved in what do you bring to the table because honestly when you're in transition and I'm the baby I'm the one going through the transition I don't need another baby talking to me or if I'm the mother in pain I don't need another mother swapping pain stories with me you think yours is bad let me tell you about what I'm going through but misery loves company and we do find each other and so I want the midwives to find the midwives swap stories so in my own transitions in life and yours too I want to appeal to you to move more towards the space of this overview the midwife the midwife version of transition is like sending up a drone and you're looking down on it on the room from a drone perspective and you can see all the players you can anticipate what's coming you can see cause and effect and be ahead of the curve because you have a drone and every one of you have an inbuilt drone in your humanity it's called self-awareness but the problem is with self-awareness statistically and I think it's true from my own life and experience of thousands and thousands of people over the years that I and many of you are aware of and have helped and listened to and read of and so on 90% statistically of humans have little to zero self-awareness and yet self-awareness is perhaps one of the top of human superpowers it is the original form of consciousness Adam and Eve had so if you were to look at a perfect kind of consciousness before the fall of man it would be self-awareness self-consciousness came in through sin and they began to cover themselves up there was no awareness of nakedness there was no shame, no guilt there was no self-consciousness until sin brought that level of consciousness and right to that all we had, all Adam and Eve had was beautiful self-awareness and so with self-awareness transition gets easier but because most don't have it I want to see as much of it in the room today unless you put it there unless you work on it unless you commit to accessing that's there for you all and self-awareness is going to really help in all of this so bear that in mind as we talk and I can't talk in everything I'm throwing out these little thoughts so that you might go away and read something about self-awareness and think I could do that in my life if it would help me in this model I'm going through at the moment I'm going to read a scripture to you and this scripture is the best thing I've ever read that describes sums up illustration metaphorically of transition it's from Ezra 3 verse 11 to 13 and it says this and all the people gave a great praise to the Lord because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid but many of the older priests and Levites and family heads who had seen the former temple wept out loud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid while many others shouted for joy and this sums up transition perfectly here no one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping because the people made so much noise and the sound was heard far away I think it's a brilliant description of what I'm trying to introduce you to around this idea of transition transition is this mixture of joy and tears it is a it is a chaotic blend of yes and no it is a mixture of I love this and I hate this it is a combination of excitement and apprehension it's a combination of this is about time and this is too early it's a combination of dreams and memories it's difficult to separate out which of these two things is in play on any given day in any moment in that day because all of these contrasting tensions are in you not just in what's happening structurally or practically it's in you as a human being and we all experience these things I'm listing and many more both personally and corporately so to put that to you that way it should give you a heads up the transition which you are all experiencing in life all the time some are micro transitions and you kind of adjusting and tweaking your life as you go because something right now in your life is asking you to change something and adjust something so we constantly doing that to some degree but bigger transitions that are to do with big changes in your life normally have these things more stand out than the ones that are more micro and because as I said earlier transitions aren't normally done well I thought the best way I could bring you into it today is to break it into three parts there are three primary parts to transition whether it be personal and corporate though it's always personal the three stages to transition are best pictured if you think of the metamorphosis from the caterpillar to the butterfly as a caterpillar transitions to a butterfly it starts as the caterpillar then there's the cocoon stage then there's the outcome that the caterpillar wanted of the butterfly so there's the past the caterpillar there's the present the cocoon and there's the butterfly the future and between the past the caterpillar and the future the butterfly is change transformation renewal upgrade reinvention transition transition I've often called like a fifth season we know about winter spring summer and fall we know about those four seasons and we know how to behave and dress and drive change our lives around seasons and that's good and we survive that way and we navigate that and we know how to stay warm and keep cool depending on what season we're in but all those seasons metaphorically are in your human experience too we experience in our human experience winter spring summer and fall but there is a season between seasons called the season of transition that we have no language for we have no navigational tools for there's no GPS for it and that's why more people are lost in transitions than are lost in the worst winter because at least if it's a severe winter you still know how to survive winter because it's winter but because we don't know what transition looks or feels like or how we are to behave or what do we wear or how do we respond and who are we in transition because we are completely disoriented like the baby in the birth canal we don't know what to do in transition and so what we tend to do is run back to where we came from because where we came from is safe, is predictable there's a degree of certainty and comfort in that and one of the reasons why transitions often aren't done well is because the people that need to move forward and transition to a new day and experience find it so painful that they go back and history isn't kind to people that go back generally now in the Bible you generally don't hear the names mentioned again of people that went back because there's nothing back there and there's no judgment in this by the way you know that from me I'm not waving a finger at any of you today that have gone back recently because you can always keep moving you can go back for a while but that's okay I'm here today to say I get that I have gone back in my life I've gone back into mindsets I've gone back into cultures I've gone back into relationships that I felt there's comfort in that I'm going to stay here I don't want to deal with all the disruption of going forward so I get going back as appealing you just realise eventually I can't stay here I can't stay in that womb I can't stay in that version of me that's the transition of us if it's a corporate analogy so the season between seasons the season of transition has no guidance for us and that's why I think it's worthy of our attention I don't think change is what takes people out I think it's the transition needed to change that takes us out I think we all realise that changes are given and so we welcome change I suppose yes we need to change yes we believe in change until change is required of us and what takes us out isn't so much we don't want to change we do want to change we do want to grow but no one told us it's going to involve that it's like I want to be there but I don't want to go through this to get there what the hell is this is what we feel and the truth is this if we don't figure that out we can stay a long time in transition like 40 years hello you know the direct line from Egypt to Canaan was about a month's walk it's 40 years and whether it's a month or 40 years God does not decide that we're writing that really and what happened with the Israelites is they got stuck in transition and died in transition so there's a life less of millions of people if we wanted one that's a good analogy for transition go home and read about what happens when you stay in a place that wasn't meant to be stayed in it was meant to be journeyed through transitions like a hallway in your house it is a space and a room between rooms but people don't put furniture in their hallways and TVs and sofas and live there it's a transitional space a corridor is a transitional space and when you step into a transition it's a hallway, it's an adjoining space it's not to be lived in and when you park up in transition everything about it feels squeezed and uncomfortable and unfamiliar and inappropriate because you weren't supposed to stay there and I get it because of these three stages Caterpillar cocoon butterfly it's the cocoon that's the killer because a caterpillar is a caterpillar we can see what it is a butterfly is a butterfly we can see what that is but what is this thing in the middle if you've seen a cocoon if you haven't seen one for a while Google it when you get chance don't do it now because that would be rude and you can which is brilliant you can think normally I'd have an image on here on screen to show you that but you can picture a cocoon so when the cocoon is fully formed there's nothing to see that's recognizable you can't say that's a caterpillar or a butterfly it's neither but what's happening inside the cocoon is what I want you to be aware of to let you know that I know what you are going through and what we go through in transition and let you know that God knows what you go through in transition because inside the cocoon what you will not see if you cut it open and look at it what you will not see if it ultrasound scan it what you will not see is a caterpillar with wings in other words you think ah I get it that's what it was and you think ok I get it it's a matter of time close it up nothing to see here all good no no if you cut open a cocoon what you will see can best be described as caterpillar soup what the caterpillar was no longer exists in the cocoon literally the caterpillar's body liquefies literally it liquefies the cocoon are what's called imaginal discs imaginal discs they're disc shaped DNA literally they're called imaginal discs and these imaginal discs carry the code for what's next they carry the code for the butterfly but they don't look like a butterfly it's a soup so in order for the caterpillar to change in order for you and I to change for our churches to change our businesses to change in order for us to change we have to go into a cocoon phase and the cocoon is characterised by loneliness and isolation and fear and anger and frustration and disorientation and disruption and sleepless nights and prescription medication I'm serious and the cocoon could also include drinking and drugs and abusive behaviour and poor choices in the cocoon no judgement here I'm just explaining to you I get it I want you to get it and be kind to yourself if you don't want today be nice to yourself and get it in that cocoon what the caterpillar has to do to become a butterfly is it has to commit identity suicide which is not a nice thing to say let alone experience doesn't it the caterpillar has to surrender its identity to a soup it has to be willing to give up its identity its shape and form and function and behaviour it has to give up everything familiar to it and to us that observe it it has to let all of that go it has to disappear into oblivion because you can't see it in that cave in that cocoon in that dark place it goes into there and literally it surrenders itself into liquid but it knows and I want to say to you you know I know you don't think you know but there's a part of you that knows that in that dark place something new is emerging I know it's hard to believe that don't clap I've got time I know it's hard to believe that because if something new is emerging it's only valuable to speak about that usually if we can describe it point to it name to it I can see the butterfly I can see the antennae but the pain of transition is that you know that something is happening inside you but it is not formed enough yet to be the next thing and this can go on by the way for a long time the cocoon typically is about three weeks but it could be three months, three years 40 years in the wilderness so this time doesn't pass quickly and the longer you feel that you're in this sense of melt down from who you were and not yet knowing who you're becoming it's scary transition is letting go of what's in this hand that you've known while reaching around with this hand for something else that's not coming yet and transition is about having nothing to hide the hand for a while that's scary it's that I'm not this anymore but what else am I then and this is why I've often said to people in transition because one of the things I learned about my transitions has been that transition is not to do with function and role and job and place and money and what I'm going to do next isn't to do with doing is to do with becoming and being and so it allows me to say to you what I mean by that is the next thing in our lives always comes out of the next you who you are becoming should determine what you are going to be doing and what happens in transition is because we don't understand I have to melt down who I've been to let that go that attachment to that identity or my ego attachment to it or my security I got from it or my friends that gathered around that version of me or my mindsets that were gathered around that version of me all that that version of me built and achieved all the relationships that version of me built I'm going to be willing to let all of that go in order to move through the next version of me and whatever is destined to travel with me whatever is a perennial plant not an annual plant but a perennial whatever is a perennial thing in my life it's going to be with me in the next phase I don't need to worry about that when I emerge through the cocoon whatever is to be kept will stay with me whatever was to be lost and we need to let that be lost by the meltdown in between and the cocoon is about you and I letting go of our attachment to an old version of us because we don't believe a better one could ever be possible especially people that and this is the problem with Transition the people that the people that knew the old you for years this was my problem pastoring the people that had been in the church with me for you know I don't know 10 plus years and some 20 years the people that were used to an old version of me when I began to Transition and transform to a new version of me they were the ones who struggled the most I mean I was struggling the most but they were struggling watching me reinvent and so many conversations I had that were taking me back to the caterpillar me that I had no interest in anymore and some of you can know what I'm talking about here because you're going through it right now where you are involved in conversations with people who you used to talk that stuff with but you've moved on and you kind of think I don't I don't put it up bump into him or her because every time it's the talk I get into every time within seconds it's a conversation about stuff I'm not interested in it anymore but they haven't moved on and upgraded and so they just assume that you're the same person and how do you say to someone I'm not there anymore I'm moved I left town I used to be that but I'm not anymore I don't say that briefly and kindly it's difficult isn't it so you have to ghost people you have to sort of go dark in the hope they don't track you down anymore because you realize that when you bump into them even that five minutes is so freaking uncomfortable because they've parked upon an old version of you and you're going through that cocoon becoming a new version and the thing is people that remember you how you were don't want that you to change because they love that version of you and you used to love that version of you but now you don't anymore and this is why most people don't survive transition and most people go back because they're dragged back by the caterpillar crowd and I've got to tell you in nature and in life there's not a lot in common between an earth bound caterpillar and a beautiful butterfly they don't hang around together even though they shared a common history they don't hang out together they have completely now different trajectories in life different possibilities and potentials become options to them so when you meet an old caterpillar and you don't know a butterfly I've got to tell you it's more painful the more butterfly you become the more difficult it is to be around a caterpillar people because they can see you coming a mile off now it's now getting more and more obvious that you are not that person and this is particularly difficult by the way if it's your spouse your kids your relatives the closest people to you that's particularly difficult because these are people you love and who are not usually optional in your life so it's more difficult when you're doing life with people closely who also don't understand the nature of your transition and so that gets more nuanced and complex as this thing goes by you all okay? a few more minutes then I'll get out of your way now add in to all of this a pandemic pandemic what? pandemic was an enforced transition for lots of us and lots of organizations because it created the loss of so many things that in many ways was a good thing because I think many of us would have clung on to things the pandemic took from us so the pandemic forced an accelerated sense of reinvention for many people and organizations so I think generally I'm seeing that as a good thing but when you are going through a transition as your church was and many organizations were and then on top of that you throw in lockdown and the pandemic and all of that stuff that none of us had any GPS for when you add that into it then the transition feels all the more dramatic and falsely exaggerated because of the other circumstances that you have no control over that happen to be going on at the same time it's amazing what's going on at the same time as anything in your life affects your life but it's nothing to do with you like a war in the Ukraine or a change in the economy or something that happens in the world like the death of our Queen everything just went on hold no more news on our TV shows for a whole week except the Queen I don't know if you got much of that feed over here but my point is and bank holidays declared on the day of the funeral well if that was the day you were planning something significant in your business or your life or your church they don't care so all these curve balls come in and exacerbate the pain often and add to the confusion often of a pandemic and that happens so many times and you have to separate out all of that and if you don't it all feels worse than it really is when the external circumstances mesh with what you're going through then throw into that a midlife crisis like I went through I transitioned out of my church in my early 50s after 30 years as a sort of pastoring so I'm entering my midlife and you know this midlife crisis language you've all heard the term I wish I wish midlife crisis was a crisis I wish it was that simple the word crisis suggests there's a solution it can be fixed so the word crisis is misleading it's not a crisis it's an unraveling let's call it what it is it's midlife unraveling which is more cocoon territory than problem solving territory and I feel that for me I'm coming into my midlife I'm dealing with a lot of questions anyway about who am I becoming what do I want to do with the second half of my life and that's personal to me and to many of you that are in that stage of life that are going through transitions in your life and family and workplace and your health and everything else you get to this midpoint in life it's a natural part of our humanity it's nothing to do with spirituality or Christianity it's a human experience and so that's going on too often for us our generation that are handing over things to the emerging generation we are dealing with stuff there's nothing to do with the kids we're dealing with stuff in us and we're processing things in us that are huge but often we don't know how to articulate that or don't know how much of that is contaminating this other thing that's in the mix too and I realize that for me wanting to figure out what do I do next and what do I do next according to who I'm becoming what is my butterfly me capable of what should the butterfly me be doing who do I speak to where do I go how do I make a living how do I pay the bills how do I stay fulfilled into my old age I've done this for 30 years where those questions didn't by and large come up every day some days they did but generally now I'm letting go of all of that certainty and I'm struggling with uncertainty and I'm struggling with what does this all look like does anybody have a map and it goes others can tell you what they did but they're not you and so that's helpful and a comfort but it's not you and that's why transition has to be dealt with so nuanced it's so forensically different for all of us is how we experience transition and I knew that I had to be willing to let go of being threatened by the foundation of the new temple being laid by new ideas when I you know stepped down and transitioned I said to my kids look it's kind of tag your it I'm gone I'm not one of these guys which has been a good thing for me actually looking back I'm one of these people that sits around back seat driving of you know make sure you don't mess with anything that I established that's sacred it's amazing how many things we make sacred that really God doesn't care about at all you know the Pharisee had had a list of that stuff the Pharisees had a list of my lung and Jesus said now it's a couple of things really love God love people you're done I think somewhere in all of that is stuff for you guys to think about for your own transition some of you are leading transitions in your life outside of this room and maybe it'll help you in the leading of those transitions in the leading of yourself in a transition and maybe it will help you to key more into than transition happening in you here at this time in your church and to cut yourself some slack and to be gracious and kind because what's happening on the biggest scene in a church or a business organization is happening in you and if you are unkind to what's happening here it's hard for you to be kind it starts to visit you personally transitions are times for huge grace huge love fun laughter don't take yourself too seriously is also a good go to energy to adopt in transitions