 So, this is the third in the series of Resident Evil movies. I believe everyone has the same avatars, except for M, who's got this new one that's glorious. Ah, does it deserve explaining? What is the meme? I don't know. He's just a happy dude. Yeah. Hello. It's me. So, I figure, with people looking at the title, might start getting confused with the naming convention for these movies, so I figured we'd go through it in case anybody was having trouble. It's pretty simple. This one's called Resident Evil, just that. Second one's called Resident Evil Apocalypse. Now, I know what you're thinking. They've jumped to the end. It's like, no. We've still got, what, like, five movies after that or something, so you could still make a story out of Earth after an apocalypse. They call it post-apocalypse, you see. So, we're fine. So, the third one's called Resident Evil Extinction, meaning that the apocalypse was so thorough, we are now at the point where it's just all gone. Evil is being extinctified. Who knows? We'll find out in today's episode. But the next one's called After Life, so, like, what happens after extinction is life. It's a cycle. And then the next one's called Retribution. I feel like they will follow some kind of through-light that are, like, fucking retribution. I don't know. Rebirth didn't come next. They skipped this. The rebirth is assumed, I suppose. Yeah, they should have done rebirth, then life, then after life. Easy. But no. Resident Evil Life never happened. Yeah, the last one's called The Final Chapter. I guess they gave up. They're like, fuck it. The last one. It's the last one. It's probably a lot of fun marketing it that way. The last chapter in the saga, exclusive Trillica Magical Seed. I'm sure you're very exceptional. Resident Evil we're not making any more. Resident Evil, we're bored now. We can't really forget another ton of money to make another one. Yeah, next year. If you were being supplied loads of money to make goofy films with your significant other, you'd probably do it. Yeah, fuck it. Oh yeah, fuck yeah. And this one, she's going to fly in the air and do a triple flip and fire a rocket, a giant slime monster. It's going to be great. The music will match as she lands. It'll go tune and stop. But no wait. Wait a minute! And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. And stop. How? How do you all say how? Like talk to me bro. So yeah, is everybody prepared and ready to watch Resident Evil Extinction? Yeah. Aye aye. I'm ready. Resident Evil Extinction. Resident Evil 7, my god. That was 13 years ago. You were 7, 13 years ago? No, stop it. You were 18, 13 years ago? No, stop it. You were just making stuff up. Shut up. You were 7, 7 years ago? Man, you're young. Yes. I'm a little clown boy. Oh no. Being an adult clown boy is way better. Um, alright. We go, 3, 2, 1, go. I guess we'll be getting a recap again. It's exciting. You don't want to forget the lore. Well so much has happened. So much has happened. Well yeah, I feel like we'll just talk over whatever the movie says about a recap, okay? We'll have our own recap. A bunch of soldiers went into umbrella land to clear it out and take whatever's there. Unfortunately there was zombies. Damn. They killed them all except one and another one, but he was infected. And then he became nemesis. Oh my goodness. And then the infection spread across the whole town. He hated stars. This is actually where you can't even summarize it quickly because you're like, uh, then? Then he remembered a thing that happened and there was a pimp and he had a golden something. The best character. And yeah, he had a great nude scene out of the way right up front. I was going to say, we're still in it. We need her to be nude at the end of the film now as well. And we will be on point. Did she hit her head on the marble? Did she just fall down, hit her head on the marble? Her hair still looks great and still dry. Wasn't she taking a shower? Well, it dried out while she was unconscious, right? God. Did it? All right. Perhaps she hadn't started her hair regimen yet. Doesn't look like she needs to. Yeah, just to make sure we're all on the same page. The last we saw her, she was captured by the bad guys. After she got hit by a piece of shrapnel in a helicopter when it crashed. Do you remember that? And they like corrected her up. But then she used magical powers to make a guy bleed out of his eyes and nose. Yes. And then she left with the heroes. But it implied that she had an umbrella camera in her eye or something. Right. She got into the car. Are we sure we're watching the right one? We're definitely watching the right one. I wasn't sure. It's definitely the right one. For those following this incredible series of films, you might think, hey, this looks kind of like the first one and you'd be right. But that'll make sense. I feel like this dress is more revealing than just what you had on a moment ago. The towel covered more. You've kind of downgraded. It would be funny if they just played the first movie, although I hope nobody noticed. Like... My work, I don't know. So yeah, what we should be expecting is a world where the zombies have been controlled because they got nuked in that one town, right? Did they get nuked? Yeah. Yeah, they did get nuked. But she should be hanging out with a group of heroes involving SWAT guy, Jill Valentine, and the Pimp. Yeah. Just make sure... Oh, Christ. Why'd you do that? Fear flash is so dope. Fear flash is... That's your legacy, Frictional. We will reference your stupid fear flashes every time. What are we doing? What's happening? You could have just done it. Oh, no. You're just copying the cool dude. Wow, skip to the final phase. What? What? Sure. Oh, good thing there was a hole right above her. Yeah. It's like she held it. What's happening? Did she wake up again? Is this a new place? No, it won't. Yeah. It'll make so much sense. You will cry at how much sense it makes. Is this a dream, a nightmare? No, don't worry. They'll tie it all together. It's really worth it. Because yeah, I'm sure I've seen all of them except maybe the fifth one. So I remember this one. I think I remember this one the most actually out of all of them. This hospital is... Except maybe the first one. They're all terrible, but... Hey, what do you mean? I don't know. I'm going to take this cart with me. What the fuck? Oh, she assumed there would be a trap and so she triggered it with that. Okay. No, I thought she was going to try and push it out the window. Yeah. Oh, in that case, why would you think to just continue walking? Wouldn't you be like... I know, right? Oh. Well, roll credits. You hate to see it. You hate to see how a hero is deceased. Just extinct. Damn, that sucks. What are you not understanding about this, Rags? Is this one of the failed Alice's? Why would you guess that? Like... What rules out anything? I think I've rid of that. Yes, sir. What just happened? God, I have some patience, Rags. Jesus. A few moments later. He was patiently waiting for something to happen. Yeah, we can't do anything with this. A few inches later. Get us to the next action thing. I want to see most zombies getting blown up. One eternity later. Why? I don't know. Why was this so much nothing? Oh my goodness. They're clearly explaining it. I bet you thought this was just an ordinary shack. I like how they cut the table, though. That one... You gotta imagine you sit down at the table and it's just all wobbly. Well, your stuff's still with you and whoever it was, it's still with them. This doesn't seem like an efficient disposal system. This is kind of annoying. We're in this wild west town. Yeah, you go to the... Oh, is this Moss Pelco? This is Moss Pelco, yeah. Oh my... Oh, it was right. That's all the clones of her. And these are the ones who didn't see the mine. When did they all get... When was cloning established? I forget. Alright, I don't know. Well, none of them are decomposed. Yeah, they're all fresh. This is just this hour. Yeah, today they've run the test like 30 times. Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Thank you for the jumpscare. It's a Zambi testing facility. What if all those bodies in the ditch turn into zombies? I would be concerned about all of these, to be honest with you. Where are they coming from? This is a better question. If you're in this situation, why do you need the elevator that's hidden behind a table? Well, they don't want the zombies to find out. Yeah, imagine the zombies figured it out. Yeah, what if the zombies were like, wait a second, look at the position of this table. Within months. Damn it, you got us all. Fires can just wipe out human life. Lakes and rivers dried up. Forests became deserts. What? How? Wait, what? So the world is a desert now. Why? Literally, the entire planet is a desert. No, the planet just got brown. Life is almost extinct in the world as a desert. I always loved it. I always loved it when I was a kid. Can you say escalation? We just skipped over the entire planet becoming a desert. A desert? Wow. Someone just wanted to write a post-apocalypse zombie thing. And they were just like, yeah, okay. Deserts. You guys just jealous of the right here. Never ending army of undead. Well, one thing like stars. Yeah, you wonder what the life cycle is at this point. Think about it. Salt, lake, city, city limit, elevator. We broke the sign. Some tumbleweeds. Tumbleweeds. Yeah. Can anyone help us? It's a trap and he's going to get ambushed and fight him, except Alice is going to save him and they're going to team up. Wait, who's him? Him. This guy. Oh, you thought this was a guy? Oh, well, I mean, if I can amend the, I mean. It's not just not a guy, Rex. Is this Alice is a stone? Dun dun dun. We've missed a lot of content between movie two and three, you know? Yeah. You think? You know a weapon I don't use in the zombie apocalypse? A 1911? No, you're fucking place. Trash. Yeah, I would go with something bigger with more ammunition. I would go for a chainsaw hammer machine gun. Yeah, I don't know if I want to have like eight rounds. So is a chainsaw hammer with attached machine gun or is it a machine gun that shoots chainsaw hammers? I thought it was obvious. Yeah, I feel like it was really odd. You're just nitpicking, to be honest with you. Can you not point that at me? It's very rude. Please help my baby. I mean, listen, you're lucky you've got a baby. Well, she's upset that she might lose it, Rex. No, it's right there. Oh, it's not a real one. Yeah, I told you it's a trap. She didn't listen to you, Rex. Fuck her up. We're surrounded. We need help. Can anyone hear us? Can anyone help us, please? Oh man, the mockery's not particularly necessary, but... Yeah, like you guys got me, sure. Yeah, I came here to help you, but I guess y'all actually didn't need help. What'd you get down there fishing? Is that a card, wallet, 17 bucks? She said I wouldn't do that. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. You asked me a question. They're crazy rapists. They're probably just gonna do it. I'm just so fucking desperate. Whoa. That was a strong kick. Strong kick. I guess she's superhuman now, right? Eddie was my favorite rapist. He's dead? He's dead? Yeah, but she broke his neck. I guess she did, yeah. I'm taking it backwards. Yeah, man. She killed Eddie. Man, he was the best rapist in Salt Lake City. I will say he was the best rapey character. Like, out of all the rapey ones. There you go, bitch. Are we running to be over too fast? Why don't you just kill her? Open the cage! These guys are so stereotypical. We're gonna feed you to the dogs. Wait a minute. When you do that flip jump to get up, don't you need your hands to do that? Wow. What? How did that happen? Oh, that wasn't all of them? Sorry, where'd you get the key from? Anyone? Was it like a drop from the dog? All the dog, it drops a key. Yeah. There you go, bitch. Are we running to be over too fast? Oh, she's having so much fun. Don't put a dog on the leash. Oh. She's honestly watching this like a sport. It's like, ooh. Yeah. My money's out now. All these electrical wires. Yeah. Oh, you just did it with your something? She's just so powerful. Not entirely sure what she's doing. Oh, they should probably punch her. Are they not realizing? Yeah, move. What are you waiting for? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, how the turntables. I don't even... Wow, that was... That's like out of a video game. I think fell over and it was a pass. Oh, no. The hillbilly rapes. Oh, no. Now the dogs are going to eat the bad people. Oh, how ironic. Oh, it's cruel. What an awesome scene. Oh, all of my guns and knives. She's really cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at those. My double kukris. They even did the shleash slash sound. Shwing. All she was trying to do was help. Shot on fabulous location at Las Vegas, Nevada. Oh, this poor dude. He has a really oddly positioned penis. What? That was a quiet van. Wow, good thing that didn't get in anyone's eyes. Yeah. So, like, someone randomly got out of their truck in the middle of nowhere and was eaten to death. Recently. You see, we established where Alice is, so now it's time to get back with these guys. Got any smokes? No, can't do. Oh, that's... I'm pretty sure she's Claire Redfield. You gotta be shitting me. Sheva. Sorry, can't push. It's one for the last. Was Resident 5 out by now? Let me check. Resident 5 came out in 2009. So, no, this is pre-date. This is the Sheva prequel. This is the origin story. What a shame. Where did they come from? Is there, like, a zombie attractor radar? They are sending out a beacon of meat. A beacon? A signal? A beacon? Looks like a map from Day of Billions, with all the zombies around. Thank you for coming to our outfits. It's very out of the way. Look, it's Wesker. Wesker. We found out they don't die of starvation. How long do you take to find that out? Geez. I think you'd find that out in R&D. Is that the priority right now? Like, go to an apocalypse. That Wesker is so fucking lame. Then we can have the shittiest soldiers ever. And for a lot of money, too. Like, show them the dead. They can operate, like, you know, stores. Without the original project, Alice, progress has been difficult. I've been forced to replicate it using clone genetic models. It's laborious. Let them go. Let them go. Progress has been difficult. Project Alice, the subject of domestication, is of the highest priority. How is that Wesker? You just, you have, your film's a goofy as is, and you have the goofy character that you get to make in your own movie, and you make him really boring. So, you've made it this far. Too bad you won't make it much further. Pretty sweet. And he doesn't look intimidating at all. He looks like he, this is what happens when you want to be part of the Backstreet Boys and you're not good enough. You have to be the chairman of Umbrella. Oh, there were a lot of arms. Oh my god, and he can turn invisible. Um, oh, Stevie. What's up, Stevie? How you doing? Oh, no. No. No, not Stevie. It's my favorite. You aimed at his name badge and it hit his head? I guess she aimed it up in those last seconds, man. Weird arc. It's a head seeking bullet. Oh, you looked through a red dot sight and it was zoomed in. Like, that's not how that works. What do you know about guns, rags? I know that crossbows are fucking shit for the zombie apocalypse. No. I played a lot of us. What, did you expect gas to just spur it out of there? I can't believe that. I can't believe that one was empty. Gun noise. No, and then what you do now is you just wait a while at the front door and see if anyone comes out because if there's zombies they'll be like, oh, the door's open now. I'll go and... Dude, it's like chicken and cheese. Open the door and go, I'll tell your eyes. You can't see shit because of your eyes. Yeah, that was really fucking loud. I thought one of you guys did something. I love the little touches of realism they could do, like her eyes having to adjust to the dark after being out in the fucking bright ass desert and stuff like that. Oh. You think you would have been able to hear that before you opened the door? How about you walk away from it? Unfortunately, the studio production wasn't letting her. Zombie crow. She has so many arrows, she doesn't need that one back. I guess not. I mean, she ain't getting it back. It went into that fucking trice fucked up. Mmm. Choo-choo-choo-choo. Mmm, seems hot. What is the desert? I hope they can fix the zombie so that... I hope grass can come back to life. Well, surely it can, unless it comes back to zombie grass. Well, that's what they said, right? The T-Virus not only killed humans, but also trees and... I don't know why. It's gotta be. How else is everything a desert? You ever feel like a movie was made just because they had some sets? There are some sets in this. They just got some landscapes in some desert area and they were like, hey, we can make a movie. Dude, the audio mixing is all over the place again. Up comes the adjusting. Yeah, I'd like to hear, like, the dialogue. Why? Why? How come the music is so shockingly loud? But I'm like, every time someone wants to talk, I have to crank things up. Yeah, I never trust myself, and I push it to 90% versus, like, 30. It's your call, boys. The problem with this stupid ass fucking set of movies is they speak really quietly and then they go boom with a fucking jump scare and you're like, thanks for that. That was directed as fucking uvaball or whoever. They're like, yeah, I'm really fucking clever to make them turn off the volume. Same director as Event Horizon. That's not true. It is true. It's true. In fairness, it was his first and only great movie. Still got his trusty golden deagle. Yeah, his only weapon. How many shots do they have? Seven or something? Dude, the first line he has in this movie is about making a porno. I'll take a waterbed, a jacuzzi, and I'm going to rent me a porno. High five. He's patiently waiting for something to happen. Yeah, we can't do anything with this. You've got to give us dialogue or events. How long has it been since the apocalypse? You can't tell with a movie like this because degradation of buildings takes a while, especially to have random holes through the ceiling in a way that light can come through. Well, that was from when the crows attacked, I guess. Oh, okay. No sense being sneaky if you're shining a flashlight through. Also, why not inspect together? Why go alone? Yeah, you think that'd be the number one rule. No one goes alone anywhere, everywhere, all aware. Thanks for that. Because this happens. Yeah, I had the volume up high. Get him with your gun. Not using his gun. Shit. Does breaking the neck really do it? I guess it does. Yeah, what if there's another? I hate ninja zombies. Shoot him with your gun. You put it on the floor? Wow. Yeah, you took a while, dude. We broke the golden rule of being dumb and splitting up. Sorry. How long did it take you to get there after the several gunshots? You got to think that the tactic here would be to break everything outside and pull them out. You'd do this in seven days to die where you fuck up the front door and all the zombies inside are like, oh, something's at the front door, you'd think. I wouldn't call out because I've been playing seven days to die like nonstop for two weeks. Yeah, I've played this shit tonight. It comes and goes in spurts. I have like 600 something hours in it. You know, something else that comes and goes in spurts. What? Mel's ass. Wait, so is he not telling anybody he's been bitten? Or was he just, I guess he wasn't? Or he was? Wait, wasn't he bitten on the other side of his chest? I don't know. I think it was that side, but... Yeah, I guess we're doing the trope again. Someone's been bitten and they're not going to tell anyone until they fucking become a problem. We can fix it this time, right? Sure. Should we imagine, especially him as a character, living that already? She was like, oh shit, they haven't bitten, by the way. Look, mobile phone. He knows what it is. What? Surely like, in the paper version, if they have one of those for these films, they'd be like, this'll look silly, guys, we shouldn't do this. Oh my god, he's going to play with blocks. We did it, we found the average anime fan. We can reach them, if we simply... We can reach them. Basic shapes. It's a bit soon to be saying that. Yeah, I... Oh no. It's perfect, just like a baby. You gave him strength serum. Well, just let him out. Oh, okay. You have to establish he's evil. This is the trope we complain about in everything. You really think Resident Evil wouldn't do it? They're doing it. The apocalypse, where most of humanity is zombies. Those restraints are shit. Yeah, he just sort of stood up and they were gone. He just is like, I guess I don't really want to be restrained. Man, you're looking fucking great for the apocalypse. She's an alley-latter, I know her in stuff. Not in stuff anymore, though. Maybe, I haven't asked. She was in Heroes. I believe her power was that she was schizophrenic and her other personality had super strength. She's so pure, she didn't have to eat. She never poops, she only has to pee twice a week. Oh, that's Sniper Man. Remember, I said there's going to be a sniper in this one too. He's Sniper Man. You can tell because he also has a cowboy hat. Yeah, that's how you know it. Where are we going? Are we going to start farming? We're looking for more cans of beans. Cans? All their skin is really good still. I kind of imagine if you go to the desert, the skin is fucking dry. They got loads of Vaseline. Well, actually, considering how much gasoline they have, they might have a lot of Vaseline. You make Vaseline from Vaseline, right? How do I get Vaseline? Can they manufacture it? Because it goes bad. It's in the cans. Yeah, it's in the cans. It's a good thing she told him there's a storm coming. Yeah, like, none of them got anything together until she said that. Guys, remember storms? They're bad. Oh, this building we didn't clear apparently. I was going to say, why are we doing spooky music? We already know this. This is the weirdest fallout New Vegas fan film I've ever seen. It came out before that, though. That makes it actually weird. Yeah, they were pre-cog fans. Oh, that speed up in the camera. Oh, no, a lamp. That was so weird. They played it by two times to the extra speed. Very oddly. That was the scene. What was the point of that scene? What is this? What is this? I read a notebook. Her names don't matter. Fly over here. Over here. That's attractive. That's like all the things I want. All you have to do is drive through Canada. Nope. So consider the sorts of the book, right? A dead body in a gas station? Honestly. Who killed himself. So clearly he thought this was a good plan. The hopeless book. He's fucking killed himself. He's like, ah, this is a dumb idea. There's no way this is real. And he just kills himself. Can we really trust a dead guy? It's very important that all of our establishing shots of them being in the secret underground lab are active. Isn't it bad that Sony Vio is being used by the evil people, though? Also, what is that being held together by? Is it glass? It's a ball of things. Sci-Fi ball. And Tide. The director just said, what if we... And then they said, okay. Neck it in the middle of the movie, too. You gotta wait till the end. No, you don't. No, you don't. Those aren't the rules. I feel like someone's making clothes too far away. Oh, no. There's a bug trapped under that rock. Go help it. She's doing a ray. Oh, it's super strong. It threw the rock on itself. I don't remember this at all. Birds are stealing your motorcycle. Quick, wake up. Aliens are coming. Seriously, this is ray. Well, that's unfortunate. Not again. Don't you just hate it when... That did look like a reaction. Not again. Yeah, that's what we had. It was not again. It was weird. Sleeps. What is it? I shouldn't have slept in the middle of the desert. No, I can't go anywhere. Oh my God, it's the Red Queen. She's not red, though. Super fucking bitch. Who the fuck are you? It's not possible. Massive psionic activity was detected 15 minutes ago. I like how he's in the position where he's like, nah, this thing that just happened, that's impossible. I can never have it. Hey, we found this cool desert shot. Mila! Mila, come walk across this desert. No, take... Put your clothes back on. What are you doing? It's a surprise I'm not a filler in this 90-minute movie. There is. I wonder if they have the time to spare. Get us to the next action thing. I want to see most zombies getting blown up. There, I say it. This movie's been downright reserved. Oh, no. The prediction based on the super creatures that lifted her gear and rocks and the crows we saw earlier. Perhaps these are super crows? Like crows with the strength of ten men. Crows with the strength of ten crows. Men with the strength of ten crows. Oh my God. Oh my God. Crows with the screams of ten crows. Imagine getting up into crow-rees at you. Ah, he hit himself with a pin. Wow, TLJ ripped this film off. What do we do? Nothing. Close your doors. Y'all acting like you ain't seen birds before. Nah, it's defective there. Is there a lot of them? Oh, yeah, that's a lot of them. That is a bit weird actually. Oh my goodness. This is a little odd. Everybody stay in your trucks. What's going on? No, let's go outside and shoot them. Don't put them on a fire. I think mine would have been rolled up long ago. Yeah, the first thing I would have done. Oh, trees. That guy has quite the face. He does. They're zombies. They're feeding on infected flesh. That camera's ought to be like clearly zombies. Wait, that's enough? Surely the crows already knew that people were here. What are they going to do? Crows that spot. Are these friendly? I'm confused. I'm confused as to the drama of this. Well, there's birds. What are you doing? You've just decided you're stuck. Get out. How unfortunate. They're fine though. Why even bother? I wouldn't have even bothered. Really? I can't see. I'd better keep moving. Wow, so that's the second vehicle they've lost now. Do we want anyone not to die? Do we like any of these people? I guess the pimp. He's dead already. Of course we can't tell anyone that. All the rest of the film. In fairness, a lot of these characters come back despite dying. So, though... Damn. Just go back in. What are you... It took too long. That death shouldn't be hilarious. Everyone move with some sense of urgency please. If we could up the tempo to slight concern. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, they just leap. This is fucking hard to follow. Such a chevron now. She's such a good person. Oh, that's the one the pimp likes, right? She's getting chewed up. Surely it's over once they pack you once. That's one thing you can do. What are you doing? We never should have casted the bowdeck in there. What are you doing? Why didn't you just close the door on the other end? Because... What was the point of that? Oh no, Black Betty. Oh, that guy's having some fun too. Oh, that was the Bean Sky, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, died by Bean Sky. How the hell are you getting on the screen? I'm so happy. I love how selective these bros are. Yeah. What? Yeah, this, by the way. I'm sorry, what? She used the Force. I am all the zombies. What? Oh my god. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? I turned the flamethrower into a nuclear explosion above our heads. What? A nuclear explosion above our heads. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm still so frustrated. Hey guys, just close the door. Once she got outside of it. Fuck this shit, I'm out. Why did you close yourself in? So dumb. Yeah, especially considering the other guy wasn't like saved by her action. She just killed herself. All she did that she couldn't have done if she did the other thing was shoot two of them. Mm-hmm. You've detected an extremely improbable explosion. You've detected a flood contracted. I don't believe you. Yeah, we have guns. I don't understand how the... Oh, she got bit. Oh, it just... okay. I guess she just got bit by it and that was that. What resources are you using to generate all these clones? Isn't it worth just cloning yourself at this point and have two big brain scientists working on this? Hey. Hello, what the fuck did you do back there? I am Yoda. What's your name? Kmart. That's where they found me. Did you not have a human name when they found you? I don't know if I could fuck a Kmart. Change. Yeah, I could. Now that right there was an Ark. Yeah, there's a lot of fucking crows. They put a little cross for the crows. There's a thousand little tiny-toothed big crosses. The war was well fought. So just nobody's going to talk about the fact that she set the sky on fire? I guess so. They were tracking me, any of you. I would have gotten you all killed. By what? Access to mainframe. Are his ears put on upside down? Shit. They really do look like they are. Oh, I'm never going to unsee that. As if that's the thing that's going to happen. She's like, I had to stay off the grid. I had to hack them in. You guys are still in danger then, right? Yeah, I was like, why is the zoom effect for the satellite louder than the dialogue I need to hear? Oh my god. Oh no. What was that little watch? Holy shit. They only hired him because he's British and can be a villain. That's like it. He needed that sweet Resident Evil paycheck. I fucking love that actor. He's just so goofy in these films. I'm pretty sure he's the bad guy in the last film. Isn't he the bad guy in the Tomb Raider movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, another movie we got to watch. We went over this before. He throws knives. That's all I remember is he throws knives at people. He also has a very distinctive voice in all of his roles, but that's not actually his voice. He always uses that voice, but it's not his voice. Everybody whispers! What do you mean? She's been evading the satellite grid for years. She's been evading it for years, guys. It's been years since Resident Evil 2. We'll establish a positive identification first. I'm actually kind of getting mad that he's Wesker. He's like, we will establish it all. It's like, how are you... Global saturation. Global saturation. Yeah, so people watching this in future, it's not me. It's the film, okay? It's fucking enormously quiet. I have this cranked up on the volume mixer. You have to balance discord and this. And it's so quiet. And I can't make it too loud because then the next can that falls down or lamp that rolls over is gonna pop my ears. Okay, but again, think about the source. You don't have any proof that these are real transmissions, not just somebody's creative writing. It's the only hope they have. They're starting to give up. No, they clearly cannot kill. Where are you going anyway? We're driving, wasting gas. Are you going to Zombiecon, Las Vegas? Like he said, there was 50, then 40, then 30. They're giving up. They're starting to give up. They die in groups of 10. You guys are really bad at looking after them. Sweet. More people to take our food. No infection would ever go to Alaska. We are, or we try for Alaska. Were you here yesterday, lady? Kids aren't allowed to vote because kids are dumb. If one kid is like, nah, I'm staying here. Why are they cheering? We just established we don't even know if this will work. I guess they're glad that democracy was honored. What is he doing? Come on. You don't like put something on it? Just chop it out. Who needs it? Band-Aid. That's a rule in The Walking Dead. You can chop your own arm off and you'll be okay. Though you'll have it chopped off on. It's the only place we're sure to find gasoline and supplies. How are you sure to find gasoline in Vegas? Whatever it takes us to an action scene. There ain't no gasoline anymore. It's been years. That shit is like six months, eight months. No, it's still perfect, all of it. It's umbrella gasoline. Exactly. It's umbrella gasoline. You have fixed the plot hole. Umbrella, they're an evil corporation. They literally brought back the dinosaurs to kill them to put them back into the ground to turn into fossil fuels. And personnel, Dr. Isaacson, that's an order. Well, when Wesker is still monotone, that you're able to just clip different things like that. I guess I should probably write a little... This is the thing, I think he gets recast because of this. He's just so shit. Though the replacement isn't any good either. I mean, he was a huge inspiration for Gently. Look at his little hat as Wigglin. Barely though, because he's barely moved. It just goes to show how little he acts the beans barely move. Oh, no. The villains are coming for our heroes. Man, down to four now. Five? Five. Still people, living people, loving people. Oh, I hate those kinds. Oh, that sounds like something that some 40-year-old wine mom would put in a frame in the living room. Still people, living people, loving people. And there'd be like a bird. It's like a live laugh plug. I could see it so easily, too. And in reality, it's like three people and they don't get along. Fuck you, Franklin. Your piece of shit. You ain't all the loves to hunt yet. They got from Salt Lake City. Let's see how big the budget was. I'm so ready. This came out in 2007, by the way. This was before racism started up. Okay, well... I... I guess... I don't know if that makes sense. I don't think that's the correct order, though. I think the Luxor is... But also, shouldn't there be way more than just this one street? Well, it's the strip, but correct. There is more to Las Vegas than the Las Vegas strip. Like, even in length, then... Oh, I guess there's more. Length and girth? Yeah. A lot of people forget about girth. It's very important. It's really important, especially with zombies. And penises. I wish I knew what they'd said. Rags, what do you think? Subtiles are four. The hearing impaired. Well, I can't have the monologue recording these shitty little e-fat movie things. People get distracted by subtitles. I would still turn them on for me. I think I'm legitimately going to have to for the next movie. Because it's weird how poorly, orally balanced this is. Like, seriously, you have to dialogue. You cannot hear. And every coke can is like A COOPATICAPE! WITCH, I'M HERE! I'm out! I'm out! Go, Sniperman. Be a Sniper. Oh, the fuck! Do you have an L85? Where the fuck did you get that? When they visited one of the places they visited in the past few years, Rags? Come on! I can't get those here now in the non-apocalypse. I guess they just had one. What's, um, for us gun noobs? What's why is it? The L85 is the standard, like, it's the assault rifle of the British army. Those aren't in America. I've never seen one. I don't even know if you could get them here. You probably can with enough money. But the idea that he just has one is insane. It must have been when Britain got turned into a desert. They ran to America. Oh, there it goes. Oh, they slow-mo'd her getting the shotgun. That means she's going to kill something. I'm so excited. That's a thigh shot, I guess. You know, there must be moments where everyone's watching him film her while she's either naked or, you know, dressed this way and they're all just like, this is weird. You guys are married. I can see that at home. What are you doing? Oh, he got up there quick. Grenade. You can still see in there, like, light should be bouncing around the inside. Grenade. It's like a this. Oh, there was polite of the zombies to not scream. They were really quiet. Yeah, the zombies are fucked. Grenade. They were arguing over who goes first. He's got an army of clones! Oh, you're useful. This is one thing I do remember from the film. With how many we see die, what would fit inside that one shipment container? It would have been packed like sardines. I better shoot full auto from this position. Yeah, that seems like a... Oh, you... Geez! The next snap was louder than, like, words. We gotta shoot full auto. What the fuck was that? Why did you need to do this? Oh, video game. Oh. They kick, bro. Doesn't it feel a little like we've kind of... Oh no, no. How many were there? Curse this gun that only has seven bullets. Yeah. Stop! Just do that. Just kick him. Oh yeah, they have, like, children and stuff. I hope you all get killed. Why did you do that? Maybe you should grab something on the truck and use that to pull yourself. Lucky they didn't bite his feet or anything. They wanted the good stuff. They wanted that juicy meat up top. Jump scare. Yeah, that was loud. Thanks. I was turning the volume up and I was like, wait, I shouldn't. Oh, big kick. She's so fucking cool. I know these guys have melee weapons. What is this? I mean, I wouldn't have much of one because guns exist, but I think somebody would have like a machete or something. I've seen people reference one of the greatest female action stars. Why would you say it? Also, that zombie felt pain. He did. He was like, ow, shoot. This is what I mean. How are there this many zombies? It was one shipment container. Oh, you wish. One of those famous bottomless containers. It was like a cloud car for zombies. I've seen zombies all come out dressed up as clowns. She's punching them now. Why not? Oh, yeah. Isn't she cool? Oh, no, the umbrella. This would be awkward if there was still a zombie alive near here. There was a nibble on her feet. So like vehicles have like engines? No, use your engine and okay. Why did you exit your vehicle that way? It's too late. Let him die. All right, Mickey, you'll be fine. The fuck you're saying to me, you little... Why did the zombie look? Zombie was like, wait a minute, you're talking to me? What a weird combination of weaponry they have. Yeah, I guess all assaulted weapons. That's not loaded already? You're right. Oh, so cool. Oh, I guess that guy's dead now. Oh, she took too long to help her. I like when they stop aiming for the head. Now we're going to do kidney shots. Look, at this point you may as well just shoot him. Did she load that many? It looked like it. No, that's a side loader. You gotta be quick. You might want to shoot him in the head because otherwise... Is it over? I think it's over. Hey, we saw an emotion. Okay, how did this happen? How many of these zombies were there? Dude, what are you doing? Just aim at one and then the next. Oh. Dude, that's what happens when you waste your ammo, I guess. How did that one sneak up on him? Always with the ninja zombies. Every time. Yes, let's fall. Wait, what? How did that happen? No, no, no, he was clearly falling to the floor. He was not falling down. Dude, what am I supposed to do? Die? Okay. Oh, this finally had its payoff, I guess. Oh. Really? What was... He was the best character and he had like barely anything to do in this film. Why are you running around without sleeves, you fucking idiot? Right, you think they'd have like, comment likeers here? Yeah. Right after this time, they'd have developed a little common sense, like evolution would have kicked in. Yeah. Leather jacket. Oh, wait, what? This is what's inside your Xbox 3. Oh shit, she actually did. She zapped him microchip. Oh, she overpowered them. Oh, she's like Captain Marvel. Now she's unlocked her true potential. This explains so much. What? Stop spinning them. Guys, we have a feast on here. Why would they get it? I know it's the next movie that the slow-mover comes over the top. There's a guy standing at the back with his motorcycle helmet. Come on, hack. Hack bastard, damn you. Where is she going? Upstairs. I mean, it didn't work the first time. Oh god, I'm so skinny. I'm hacking as fast as I can. Accessing the mainframe. Enhance. I'm in. Incredible. They all didn't even see it coming. Good job. You all suck. I like how he was able to get away though. No, my creation. And she didn't see the helicopter or him run out of there. He did it through the back way. Slow-mo. So like everyone died. It's been pretty bad. So, is it going to Alaska or? We're all going to fit into a helicopter. Well, they're going to get rid of the other people. Yeah, most of them will die by the time we get to this point. You ain't making it to Alaska without... You all know how to fly a helicopter? Of course, someone will. In fact, everyone knows how to do everything. She'll have downloaded it. I downloaded how to spy with helicopters. I downloaded how to be a sad land. Does he look so gnolly? Oh. You have no idea what to do to you. Well, I know what will fucking happen if I don't. It's pretty weird to use so much though. Under Executive Order 1345 I sent it to you to summary liquidation. Liquidation? Just die. Ah, that was so loud. Shoot the head if you want someone to die immediately. Yeah, you should know this about zombies. Well, I guess he's not a zombie right now. Right to the heart. Oh, no. Oh. Okay. Oh, God. Well, it's a lot of residential enemies can do that, right? I don't know. Wait, I'm sorry. Was this a part of his plan? Did he want to become this? He injected himself. Take a big front. They're still coming. There's always the same amount at the fence, but they're perpetually always coming. There's all these borders really far away. Yeah, but there's a spawn limit. There can only be like 500 at a given time. Yeah. So the old ones who got there with the front of the fence disappeared. So the old ones can go to the back. Oh, no. He's blooping blood. Is that what they do when they're infected? They have the antivirus in there. He just got bit. That guy was there for like four days without anything happening. Yeah, but he was bitten near his torso. This was bitten on the arm. The arm is much more important, so it kills you faster. Oh, I see. Also, he was bitten by, I guess, a normal zombie. What a lame thing to do to who was clearly a crowd favorite character in the last movie, the black guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. What a fucking waste. What a bizarre choice. GTA, mother fucker! Ten points! Just have him say oh hell no like a couple more times. He sacrificed himself to save it. He gets bitten and he doesn't tell anyone sure, but then he takes everyone else out or he goes out and ablaze a glory or he activates the bomb at the last set. It's something. Instead, they had him sort of get his whole team in trouble while he cowered in a car. Yeah, and potentially killed this guy, too. When were you bitten? Three hours ago. Shit told me you got bit, mother fucker. I'm hanging with you and shit. Shit told me you got bit, mother fucker. Shit told me you got bit, mother fucker. Fucking hell, his skin is like so smooth. Well, that's because years of erosion. Oh. Do you even know like his face looks like a human's face? Whose is like commercial face? Like it's been bled with CGI? Do you say that about Mila? Hey, maybe she's really young at this point. I don't remember when this came out. 2007, she was probably like two years old or whatever. Don't wanna remember when this came out. Wait, what? Was that not obvious? Oh, really? You missed the whole arc and romance there. It was so clear. That happened when I was in the toilet for five minutes earlier. That was when the arc happened, yes. Yeah, this convoy's had a really shitty week. We're down to two now. We got a great big convoy. Well, I guess not. Five minutes later, we have a car. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. He's gonna blow himself up. Whoa. That's not gonna get too much. It's like millions more around the thing. But he gets the ending that the pimp should have had. Yeah. And the pimp should have said mother fuckers as he blow up. That's what it should have been. Did they reverse the footage? I don't know. I gotta remember to check. Whoa. Is this gonna be your new gig? You always find to reverse footage. Why did you need to do it this way? Because he's fucking idiot. Why was this necessary? What was the point of that? So he didn't have a smoke. Oh, we got a doobie. They should have worked harder on this. Yeah, they're really bad. They just went off straight away. I did have a cigarette all along. That's his arc. There's not plenty of time, dude. They're not getting in that quick. I'm just trying to do this. I will just lit the bomb before I flip the truck in case maybe I die. Oh, have him do something. Have him do a salute or something or a little gun thing. Have him click his gun because it's still empty. That was his thing. It just all fell over. Man. Man, this is so epic. They finally broken into the HQ. Yeah. They finally broken through the stuff. The truck has suddenly shown up. Something around like, what's that? Yes, let's get all 50 of us into this helicopter. We need to smuggle those kids over to border. Can they believe that they just left this helicopter here? Oh, yeah. So Claire can pilot. Oh, yeah. Well, where would I sit? That's what she said. I will hang on to the bottom of the helicopter for there are not enough seats. I'm going to kill them all with my mind. Well, we got to have the big boss battle between her and Uncle Grumpkin. I don't know what his name is. I'm sure that will be a big reveal that he's her uncle. Wait, guys, my chapstick's still back in the hobby. Go back, go back, go back, land, land, land. We're not going to find another one for ages. It was a polite of the zombies to wait until that was done. Well, they got blowed up. No, no. They showed loads of them pouring in, but they just didn't get to them. No, those were... That was a clip. That's some video editing. That's video editing. See, that would be weird to see, wouldn't it? That would be really strange. I'd be like, wow, that's not usual. That's odd. Oh! That's not a lot of zombies there from what we've seen earlier. Am I going to have guns rather than... Yeah, you'd think. I'd like you to go into this room and say, why is this table split? She sits down at the table wobbles and she's like, wait a minute. Jump down. Do it. Oh, there's a little step ladder. Alright, so the thing's coming up. That's why it opened, right? Oh, she called the elevator, I guess. Oh, is he doing it? Does he want her to come down there? He wants the big boss fight. Wait, there wasn't something up top. She can't be coming down. The elevator is obviously down. It's called montage. She pressed the elevator button. And they let it go up? I guess they want her to come here. They want to have a boss fight. Alice versus Guy. Guy man who put too much cure into himself. He has tentacle powers as well. I have a rudimentary knowledge of prison evil. I don't know if he's a reference to anything. I don't know. It's a really shitty flashlight. They're always really bad at these fucking movies. Look at how terrible it's lighting up nothing. Literally nothing. At that point, I'm just like, ditch it. Free up your hand. You know you can twist those and it focuses and unfocuses the I feel like the torches are actually better than that. Yeah, you might be true. I hope you have your body very high to hear. So she's probably going to look around for a while. She'll get a fake out jumpscare. Then the real jumpscare probably. I couldn't hear the music fine going down to 35%. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stop you. Why did you appear behind me then? I know what you are. I knew your sister. She was a homicidal bitch. My sister computer was merely following the most logical path with preservation in life. You see the light. Dr. Isaacs returned in an infected state. He was bitten by a creature that had been treated with a newly developed serum. A serum derived from your blood. He made a new zombie virus out of her blood. It could be used to destroy the biohazard for good. You mean this could all end? There is however. Once we cure the virus, the water will return to the lakes. The dust will just disappear. This is the point. We like aliens. We fucked up. Can you give us a hand? We're going to build some distribution centers all around the world for the vaccine. It was like the idea of the aliens watch our planet as like TV sort of thing and they have bets of how we'll destroy it. And like one guy had zombie outbreak and he's like yes. So how come the computer didn't have the entrance and they didn't show the computer sending up the elevator so that we didn't have the stupid fucking jump scare that wasn't even jump scare? Like you could make this all narratively work where the computer would go yeah like shit went down and so now my priorities have changed therefore I'm going to do business with you. Oh, that was loud. It was like the flashlight got better though. See I already had the volume really low. 40%. I'm trying to cling on to every word of dialogue I can get. It's like water in an Oasis. Yeah this movie is a surprisingly empty movie. Yeah. You'd think the premise would be way cooler. So far the second one's the been the best. Yeah I agree with that. Oh she dropped the flashlight. Wait why are they all suspended? Are they hanging from Oh they've been impaled? Yeah. Okay. That's odd but fine. Does it make more sense now that this guy made Event Horizon with all the blood and the impaled people? I'm baffled. I don't believe you. This is kind of the end of the movie. This counts right? Yeah I'm wondering what happens next. Don't touch it. It isn't even glass. Wow. What is this guy doing? This little bubble thing looks like a small version from the Final Fantasy X to be a role ball arena. There should be only one bad guy here. Doctor. Yeah he's fucking around with the camera. So nice. The noise. No. Ouch. Sounds like a T-Rex. So this is awkward. Yeah it's neck at me. I mean bullets don't do anything to you. Why are you concerned about a knife? He's got a shoulder and he's that upset. Well he ran away and left her there. He needed to give you time to acknowledge this. Yeah. Don't look at me. I'm surprised too. Bet you never thought you'd be seeing this when you first saw the first movie. And we're still not even at the craziest show. No we're far away from the craziest show. Can't let anyone see you like this. Must have gone this way. Why did he leave? Why did she not take the knife? She's never had use for that knife. Wait a second. It all comes back to this. There's always a house. There's always a mela. There's always a lack of clothing. There's always a portrait. There's always staring at the portrait. There's always a lack of a portrait. I thought the photo would distract you long enough for me to kill you. Wait so she left the other one on the floor and then... The knife? No she put it into his shoulder and then he walked away with it and then fell on the floor. Why aren't you doing the technical thing with her? Why isn't he tentacleizing her? Also I wonder if that is him. I think it is him. Hey there you go. Use the force. Damn if only you had killed her like you'd kill everyone else. Like five seconds. Oh no she's using the force. See so at this point if I was him I'd be like this isn't really fair. What shitty power. I love the resneval fans are just so lost at this point. You have to take a little to recharge quick. Fuck this wall. I hate walls. I can't die. I hope they paid him a lot of money to do this. Oh okay. Oh shit. Oh he'll get killed by the lasers. Oh she's not dead. Naked Alice returns. That's the third book in the Alice in Wonderland series. There's a lot of Naked Alice in Alice in Wonderland series. Naked Alice returns. Damn I didn't expect to be kicked in the face or punched in the chest. Tentacleize it. Scream again. She can't walk away from this one again. Oh I'll drop it in Christmas. You'll think they might be fooled. You're screaming at me. Cut down. I thought you were the future. I was wrong. I am the future. I'm the future. I mean look at him. He's clear of the future. Yeah. Why would you laugh at my statement of power? You're just... Really? Just like that was mean. I'll just jump for the thing in the ceiling. Oh we're just skipping to this one are we? Use of force. The computer system. Right? Oh I guess she knew how to do that. And knew that she should do that. Okay chill out with your one-liners then. Wait how come it wasn't the AI in the computer system? AI is on break. Oh no the Tokyo Metro. It wasn't Tokyo it doesn't. Tokyo? Yeah how come it's Tokyo? They said everywhere was a desert. Don't lie to me. This looks more like a couple of years. This looks more like a couple of years than... Are the rats not zombies? Zombies. The CGI little zombie eyes on all the rats. Oh great Wesker. Off the air? Like they got a radio show? It's umbrella bras. The facility? The research will continue under my personal supervision. Fuck your lame. He's so lame. Oh you won't have to wait that long Wesker. Because I'm coming for you. Who are you? Which ones they're all dead? No this is like the clone. It's me and me. That looks so weird. That doesn't look composite at all. So much. He put her in the film twice. Oh twice Theo? Really? Just twice? Four times. An army of Alice? Eight times. I'm so excited for an army of Alice. And 16, 28. Oh my god. So when I said she needs to be naked at the beginning and end they really did crank it up at the end there. Oh boy. We were just sitting at their dining table here. Do I need to be naked at the new one? Yes. Multiple times. You're gonna be naked like 17 times in one scene. We did it. Keep cool WS Anderson. So that was hmm You know it's important that we rank the Resident Evil films okay. So two is easily the best one so far. Oh yeah. There's so much emptiness in this one. Yeah. Why? Why was there so much nothing? Yeah, there was a lot of It was a weird sort of plotline too. It's like a bunch of cars ride until they arrive at place then they get attacked and a bunch of them die then they move on to next place they get attacked and a bunch of them die then they move on to next place. So Mila knew that Umbrella was like looking at her with satellites but she was still staying super close to the convoy where they went. And also a satellite can see the convoy. Don't you get it? She left them because she was putting them in trouble by being with them and then when she came back she put them in trouble. And then they all died. They all died except for the kids. They're safe in the helicopter. Yeah I guess, yeah. And Ali Larder and Kmart. Yes, I hope Kmart makes it. It was my favorite. I don't even know what I want. I was going to say that one was a little too reserved for me. I wanted to be a little more crazy than that. That one wasn't good. I mean not at Mar but the second one was a lot more fun. The first and second were a lot more fun to watch than that one. A lot of kind of waiting around for stuff to happen. A lot of scenes where they just didn't have a point. Like where I think it was the chick walks into the room and goes to a cigarette machine and opens it up and then a lamp falls down and that's the scene. There's nothing else. There's no stakes in there because they were already camping there. This is a safe building. I know for a fact the next one cranks it and the slow-mo is intense in the next one. It seems kind of wild how they went for the off the rails plot ever and then decided to be a bit more reserved. And then they're going to reopen the off the rails nature. I don't know if you guys knew this but we're getting a Wesca boss fight in the next film. That Resident Evil Afterlife. Yes. We'll see you there folks. Thanks for watching. Sorry. We already posted some fucking subtitles. Next movie we will be unstoppable to static the dialogue. It is so difficult to hear the dialogue in this movie. Everything else is cranked up to eleven. The dialogue is at a three. It's maddening. I'm so glad you posted that. Now I can... You can consume these movies the way they were meant to be. With subtitles. With subtitles. Thanks for watching folks. Bye. Goodbye. We'll be acting just a second. Fuck. What did you bring me?