 The narcissist will exploit this quality when you first got involved with a narcissist They tested you because they wanted to see what they could get away with They wanted to see what you were going to put up with So they gradually pushed past your boundaries They did things that they knew you would be uncomfortable with Things that they knew would hurt or upset you And then they fell back and studied your reactions to what they were doing They wanted to see how you were going to respond Because that response would tell them what they will be able to get away with It will tell them what you are willing to tolerate And if you reacted to them in a vicious and threatening way They would probably pull back They would leave you alone Because a narcissist is not willingly going to put themselves In a situation that could be dangerous or harmful for them They're cowards They run from danger But if you react in a way that shows tolerance or acceptance Then the narcissist is just going to run amok with you They're going to behave in an unrestrained and out of control manner Because that's really what separates these narcissists from the rest of us They will do whatever they think they can get away with Whatever they think you are willing to tolerate There's no limits to what they will do to you They lack empathy They have no care or concern for you They will exploit your kindness They will use it to their benefit at your expense Because although we call ourselves humans We are still animals And it's survival of the fittest Only the strongest of us will survive While the weaker get left behind But throughout our lives we are being taught to be kind and polite When being nice to a narcissist really doesn't get you anywhere Just think back throughout your relationship I'm sure you will struggle to remember a time when being nice got you what you want They just ignored you or shut you down If you're always nice to a narcissist Eventually they will destroy you You will be their doormat Where you're doing whatever they want whenever they want you to do it They're just going to walk all over you They're not going to treat you with any dignity or respect Which is why you have to develop this quality of not being nice to the narcissist Of being more aggressive You have to put them in their place Because these narcissists have worked on this quality So if you don't work on it They're just going to end up shutting you down They will take everything you have Because you're too nice You're too kind And they see your kindness as a weakness They see it as something for them to exploit Because you were too kind to defend or protect it It's not that you were too weak You just weren't willing to use all of your strength to achieve what you wanted Which is why you must develop this quality of not being nice And you must know when to use this quality Don't be afraid of the narcissist The truth is that they're actually more afraid of you That's why they act that way It's out of fear and shame But while you may not feel fear or shame You need to stop being so nice to the narcissist Or else they're just going to see you as a pushover They're going to see you as someone Who is easy to overcome and influence Someone who they can overpower and overwhelm They're going to feel like they have the capacity to have an effect On your character, development and behaviour So you have to stop being nice to the narcissist And you have to be specific about what you want or expect from them It has to be clear so that they understand But if it gets to the point where you're having to use this quality 24x7 You're going to be left with only one option You're going to have to leave the narcissist Because if they've done it so many times They're going to do it again You're going to have no choice but to go ahead of them Because they're completely defective They're not willing to assimilate They're not able to coexist with you And you can't be aggressive with them 24x7 Because then that's going to affect how you interact with other people People who haven't done anything wrong When healthy relationships depend on politeness But do not be afraid of the narcissist Stand up for yourself Don't let them push you around Remember They're cowards They act this way out of their own fear They're more afraid of you than you are of them Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coaching.narsify.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon