 Okay, well, Peter wanted me to remind you and give you the context. I think when we put it out on the floor, we said 1 to 3.30, actually, Peter said we have this place as long as we want, but I know it's getting to be mid-afternoon and people are going to start to get hungry pretty soon, but one of the thoughts we had was as we go through this next session and we kind of reach a closure point, yeah, if anybody wants to go out to dinner together, we can all go out to dinner at some place that's close by. We passed a number of places. There was actually one that was really close called Crackle Barrel that's just right down the road from us, so that would be very convenient too, because Dale came all the way up from Houston and it might just be a way for us to continue on if everybody feels like they would. I don't like to. I don't. I have to find a car, but... Hold on, hold on. Okay, Steve, you took the family car and took off driving. What are they going to do with it? He's being very perfect about this moment. They've written it. Yeah, this is our sponsor, and then tomorrow we're coming back too. So if you've got some prior arrangements, if we get to 3.30 and you've told people I'm leaving and I'll be back, honor your commitments, honor your arrangements, but also know that tomorrow from about 1 to 3.30, again, it'll be open to the closing time. We'll be pretty flexible. Just kind of feel it out together, but you're very welcome to be here. This is very precious for us to come and join with you in this deep way, and that's why we do it. And we were asked at the beginning that this is all we do. Well, yeah, the course has been my path, and then Deanna's been... This is a full-time living experience for us, so it's not a part-time thing in any way. It's just full-on devotional living and being used by the Spirit as a miracle worker. That involves healing, as we mentioned earlier. It involves a state of mind. It involves lots of collaborations. While the mind believes that it's a human being, while it believes it's a person, it's like the Spirit wants to use the body and the symbols of this world for the purpose of forgiveness. And it's helpful to think that the purpose of time is the undoing of time. The purpose of time is the undoing of the belief in linear time, and it's like, wow, that doesn't sound like a positive purpose. The purpose for something is the undoing of it, but you might think of it in terms of that there is another way to look at this world in a way of, you might say, simultaneity where you start to realize that it's all your mind and it's all equally your mind, and then as your mind comes into that stillness and rest, that you behold the world in a very different way. That the ego invented linear time. The ego invented this past, present, future construct to maintain guilt, to maintain a sense of separation and isolation, and then once it's projected and believed to be real, then it seems that the world made you, instead of you being a creation of God, it seems like that the beginning of the person has a time-space coordinate. I was born in such and such a place, such and such a date. You see, it's like the world is the cause, the dream is the cause, and who you are is now an effect of the dream. And that can get pretty crazy sometimes. Jesus says sometimes you feel like you're just like a dancing shadow, or like sometimes you're just like a leaf swept up in the wind where you feel your life is chaotic, things get confusing, things get depressing, attack thoughts can come in droves, almost like you start to say, okay, I'm going to heal, I'm going to awaken, and it's more like you stuck a stick in a hornet's nest, and then you pull the stick out, and then these hornets come shooting out, and those are these attack thoughts, and you think, well, I'm a decent person, I'm not vicious, I'm not a killer, I'm not a murderer, and then when the hornets start streaming out, you don't know for sure how innocent you are, because that stream of hornets can seem to be daunting. So this is a very deep journey, and I always tell people when we gather together that I feel like we're on this lifelong journey together. We are mighty companions to each other to go all the way back to the light, to face all the darkness, whatever's going to come up, however it's going to look, however it's going to go, we are in this all the way together. It's like we're walking hand in hand, arm in arm, back to the light, and we're able to open up and start to share experiences, share our miracles, even share our challenges and difficulties, because even in doing that it may help someone as well as help ourselves of loosening from this guilt, this shame around I'm doing something wrong, or why can't I get it, or how could I be so happy for so long and then fall off the cliff instead of fall off the wagon, fall off the happiness cliff, you know, and go tumbling down. And for me, I just gave everything I had to that course, everything I had to that workbook really to live it, to transfer it, and then once your channel, once your mind becomes clear, then you can be used by the Spirit in amazing miraculous ways and countless ways of what I call collaborative miracles, where we're here to collaborate. We know that, you know, many hands make for light work. We know that when we join together in collaborative ways that amazing things happen, just go to a symphony and listen to a symphony or watch even acrobats Cirque du Soleil when you see some of the performers as they work together in such harmonious ways. You know there's a force underneath everything where we can collaborate instead of trying to do it on our own, instead of trying to compete, instead of trying to make carve our niche out and make some kind of a name for ourselves individually. We know there's something in teamwork. Even when we watch sports teams and athletics, we can feel there's a teamwork, there's a harmony, there's a collaboration there, a fellowship, a joining that is very attractive to us, and we just want to go into that. So for me, when I got really happy a number of years ago, maybe a couple decades ago, I started having people showing up left and right all over in my life that wanted to come and live with me. You know, that's another thing. Like attracts like, happiness attracts happiness, and then I think I was on the move so much that I had hermitages here and there in the woods. I had a community a bit out in Denver, Colorado. I had a community up in Traverse City, Michigan. I had a little community in Cincinnati, Ohio. I had a tiny little, it's like a cottage, almost like looked like a gingerbread cottage out of some kind of a fairy tale. And then people started renting and buying houses on the street along with me to be around me, you know. I had cats, basically when I had cats living with me. They're amazing mighty companions, my three-legged cat tripod. I had her for years and years and years, and she was probably the most consistent face that I had in my life. I would go on these world travels in Argentina and Europe and Australia and all over, and when I come back I have this little whirling tail and this little three-legged cat running up against my legs, chair legs, table legs, did not discriminate with giving the love, had to give away the love. She was always rubbing up against something to extend this love. Just a huge amount of love at all these wonderful love fest with her. And basically that's the way our lives go as we start to open up to miracles. We have these so many collaborative opportunities that come our way. I finally made a, an inbox, like a folder in my email called Collaboration, and I put it near the top because I was getting so many collaboration requests that were coming to me on a weekly basis. I mean lots of them, droves of them, that I had to have some simple way to file them until I could take a little closer look at them. And then they just keep expanding and expanding and expanding and they just keep expanding and expanding. I think my latest kick I'm kind of getting onto is I've always loved music. I know Ken Watnick got into a course in miracles basically through music and Mozart and the great classics of music. I've always been drawn into music. I think before the course, before my use of movies, which I use quite a bit, the music was there. I was just so drawn by certain songs and then sometimes it would take me years or decades later where I would be listening to the song and I would be listening to the lyrics. Most of us have had that experience where we're listening to a song we liked years ago and then we hear the lyrics and we go, oh my god, no wonder I like that song. It's so profound. We just were ready to really take in the depth of the song at a certain point and then it's there. So I've been talking a lot about doing and I've already kind of channeled a book called Movie Watcher's Guide to Enlightenment, which I think what edition are we working on now? Fifth edition of that is kind of kept growing and growing. We have an online version, which has become for many like a pathway to God where they can go through the emotional index and find the emotions that they're dealing with, go into the emotional index, find the movie that they need to break through the emotion and break through watching a movie, which is kind of a fun way to work through these deeper emotions as well as tools like Instrument for Peace, Level of Mind. It's on MWG.org. That's the online version. But I got to a point where once I was having consistent happiness, the whole point of being in consistent happiness is to be a conduit, a channel, be used by the Spirit in a way that blesses the whole universe. So that's where these collaborations tend to come in more and more once you kind of get yourself aligned that just allows you to be used. There's a part in The Course in Miracles where Jesus says, an untrained mind can accomplish nothing. And he also says at one point that you are much too tolerant of mind wandering. So it's great. I always say, give it to me straight, Jesus. If I'm too tolerant of mind wandering, if I've got compromise going on my life, if I've got people pleasing, if I'm avoiding something, if I'm trying to dance around something, the prayer of the heart is reveal this to me, expose this to me. How am I going to escape these ego games unless I get them brought to me sometimes like right into my nose, like we were talking about the break, the prayer, Holy Spirit, bring it on. I always say, be ready. Give you actually say those words with the Holy Spirit because that's a wide open invitation to clear the mind. I even had a retreat I did in Spain on the island of Mallorca where it was a six week retreat and I think somewhere around week four somebody in the group threw their arms in the air and said bring it on, Holy Spirit bring it on and then another one and then the whole group basically was throwing their hands in the air and as loud as I could say the word were belting out, Holy Spirit bring it on. Well that group had quite a number of interesting experiences that came on. We had somebody who went left in remission from cancer and all kinds of things that happened. It was almost like a revival and then subsequently there's been all kinds of reverberations in people's lives after that but that's a good example about how the more willing we are the more open we are the more we can ask for help the more help can be given us and there's another part of the course where Jesus says it's not that you ask for too much you always ask for far too little that it's this unworthiness this shame, this guilt that we've held on to this mostly unconscious that actually brings limits to our life experiences where we're capable of huge openings of vast openings it's like such a fear of love and might it's almost like holding up a little thimble with a shaky hand going could I have a refill please? Jesus is like saying yeah get a bucket get a bucket you know we're so accustomed to thinking that we just aren't worth that care and attention we may have all kinds of old programs running like oh god must be really busy he certainly doesn't care about me but that's actually the opposite to what things really are there's all this love and might waiting to pour through our mind waiting for us to be a conduit and yet we have to ask for it we have to really be prepared and ask for it so we still have our microphone? sure do you have anything that women launch into? but I'll go ahead and ask will this recording be online? yes this will be online it's speaker.com S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R almost it's like speaker except with an R there S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com in fact our first session is already online so this will continue on S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com in that talk S-P-R-E-A-K-E-R.com this is gonna take a whole different time sometimes I'm wondering how to brother to die about two years ago I know you can't come back from the dead because we had a deal and he didn't come back and if there's anybody who could he would does my brother still exist how much of the way I knew him how does he exist right now with just the spirit what do you say I know he can't come back because a lot of people would have is he how much of a figment of my imagination was he for what he transformed into or would I recognize the spirit yeah I would say that the world, the perception the people in our lives especially the ones that touches so deeply in many cases we could always think of them as like angels because there's a it's such a hard opening there's a lot of love and connection there but when we hear the words holographic universe or we get into teachings of quantum physics and so forth we start to realize that that there is no perceptual world that's apart from the perceiver there in lesson 132 Jesus says there is no world apart from what you think and then he goes even further and he says ultimately in that lesson there is no world exclamation point he's taking it deeper and deeper to this idea that there's nothing outside of us so we believe in time and space in dimensions three dimensional world and dimensions beyond this world and realms beyond this world and there's many books even the rancher book is quite good at articulating a lot of these different realms and the whole cosmology and everything like that but basically everything that we perceive is what we the meaning that we gave it all the particulars of your brother just like all the particulars of my grandmother Lillian who was a very significant character in my life in Awakening she was just a symbol of unconditional love you can do no wrong are there by design you might say that nothing is at random no person no place, no event nothing at all comes at random and that these people that have been very significant in our life experiences on planet earth are reflections of what we have in our mind they're almost like they're acting out in a motion picture of the thoughts that we have in our mind and that's how intimate the connection is they seem to pass away or disappear it's not like they've gone anywhere I'm always showing movies that relate and reflect to the power of the mind recently in Camus I showed the movie Sphere with Samuel L. Jackson and Sharon Stone and Dustin Hoffman and these three are brought together in kind of an underwater setting only to realize that their unconscious thoughts, their fears their doubts their suspicions, their jealousies their competition gets acted out and they start to realize that there's some kind of extraterrestrial sphere that's basically showing them the power of their mind and the power of their thoughts that everything we perceive are thoughts acted out now if we take it a little bit further we can start to realize that the people that we perceive in our lives including the person that we have believed we are all seem to get there in consciousness through one route the ego in fact most of us we think of the word people and that's the now you know we know what verbs are and everything we know what nouns are from our education growing up in our literature classes well Jesus actually at one point says the ego people the world people the world that's a verb he's using people as a verb the ego people the world who are these people well if the world was made in hate this world was made in hate it's a world of division separation competition disease death and so on and so forth if the ego made the world reflecting the work of us and I have invented the world I see if the ego people the world then these people seem to be acting out unresolved unconscious grievances and we don't usually think of the people in our lives or ourselves as walking grievances that's a very that sounds almost like a Stephen King novel or something the zombies the walk the land of the zombies the walking grievances you know I don't know how popular a book like that would go over and the zombie movies are pretty popular I saw one two years ago it was quite a positive zombie movie warm bodies it was actually a zombie but it was actually a zombie forgiveness movie I thought the Holy Spirit really is taking this healing a long way do you have zombie forgiveness movies coming in now that's quantum that's all I could say so in one sense when we start to think of it that way then we realize every person that we perceive including the person we believe ourselves there's another way to look at the world that we see people as whole in and of themselves we see them as they have a history they had goals they had interests they had characteristics personality characteristics so we think of a person and there's all these kind of traits characteristics and skills and abilities and memories they're like walking memory packages from a quantum perspective and the purpose of forgiveness is to learn to go beyond those quantum memory packages you know what it really is doing is giving us a more of a direct reflection of what we still have unresolved in our own mind and when they seem to die we call it pass away I mean I've done talks all over the world but I think I've done more talks in unity churches than any other church or denomination and I used to joke when I would go to these unity churches because I would say nobody ever dies in unity language they always make their transition or cast away I'm just wondering if they're always making their transition where are they transitioning to and they say well to the other side but this is a unity church how many sides are there in unity does anybody ever might be the emperor has no clothes on guy who starts to question this the whole idea of transitioning to another realm or another dimension that's all part of the dream as well so the heart less of the air the same way we get down to it is we used to do it a different way it's a seals and cross song we may never pass this way again nothing ultimately that seems to repeat in time is going to last forever there's a longing that we have in our hearts when we think of somebody passing away I'll never see them again there's a sense of loss a sense of sadness that comes up because somehow that connection and that love got associated with those bodies and those memories and then it seems a sad thing to never see that face again never see that smile again and be hugged again in that same way and to me that's all part of Jesus helping us slowly slowly get into a deeper purpose to transfer the love to get deeper and deeper into this unconditional agape universal love which knows no end and no limit so I always see those connections like you're describing your brother is that's just another reminder and another step of love, true love coming closer to us it's almost like we draw forth these reflections and instead of looking at it from a perspective of loss which is how the ego sees it like wow that was spectacular but it's sad that it's over spirits coming around saying you can feel the gratitude and the love for that love coming closer closer into awareness and it's very optimistic and I feel that gratitude with every pet that I've had, every animal every relationship every time I think of somebody it's like this coming closer and closer to this never ending love also one more thing I know maybe concerning this Jesus or for Pepsi because you know when he was on going out and people ask whether they lose consciousness or whatever and his wife he was a non-enough denominational Christian not too much in the way he acted but he had a deep faith and so when he went in and out his wife asked him if he saw his grandpa he saw the grandpa over and everything else like that so did you see God say yes cross three and have a Pepsi and just or whatever so I guess those are just dreams he's having as he goes in and out or whatever but you know all these after death experiences and that kind of thing it's just kind of funny thank you so how do you explain so how do you explain all these near death experiences well near death experiences I call them near life experiences because generally they go into the light after some transition like through a tunnel or seeing relatives and seeing people that have passed away so forth and then moving into this unspeakable indescribable light so I call those near life experiences and they're still within the realm of perception like we tend to make these categories we make distinctions between nighttime dreams and our daily life you know there's a distinction like well what I dream at night when I'm in bed at night those are dreams and then we don't tend to call our daily life experiences dreams and sometimes I don't know about you but when I was in university for 10 years I did a lot of daydreaming you know where you're sitting there and your body's there in the lecture hall but you know you're just I don't know what the content is not stimulating or whatever in your mind you start fantasizing daydreaming we have these different categories we call dreams daily life daydreaming, fantasizing imagination you know we have all these categories and what we learned from the course is Jesus says all of your time is spent in dreaming even these near death experiences are dreams so they're perceptual motion pictures like an imagination this room right here we could say this is a quantum experience this is a perceptual experience some of us may say well it's not a dream I have to go back and go to sleep at night to be in the realm of dreams and well well this is not a fantasy I'm actually here and I've driven my car to get here and I wouldn't call it a fantasy but we have all these categories and basically Jesus is saying it's all really perceptions number two in the workbook is I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me so what seems as an objective world is actually a perceptual experience and it is entirely subjective it's just seems to be there through the filter of the mind and what we could see as a room full of people having a gathering here on a Saturday afternoon is actually just a reflection of a motion picture of the beliefs in the mind is any of it random is any of it kind of objective is there any objective world that's apart from the procedure no, that's what quantum physics is showing us that's what the mystics and saints have said all along we're having a perceptual experience and we're getting exactly what we want to get there's even a part of the workbook of A Course in Miracles where Jesus says what happens is what I desire and what does not occur is what I do not want to happen oh my gosh that's that's a 100% perception if what happens is what I desire and what does not occur is what I do not want to happen then you might say this powerful mind is having a hallucination and not only that it's forgetting that it's hallucinating as dividing up that hallucination into nighttime dreams daily life fantasies daydreams all kinds of different categories but it's all just a perceptual hallucination and the thing that makes it seem so real is the judgment we divide it up we categorize it we compare, we contrast this is all through the ego's filter it's just the ego wanting to perpetuate itself through all this categorizing judging stereotyping you know, if we even hear a dream character and they start they start spouting off all this stereotypical thinking all men are this all women are this all Muslims are this all black people are this there's a part of our mind that's just like please you can actually categorize whole groups of people with sweeping sentences we call that stereotypic thinking that's the ego that's the ego that's generating a world of stereotypical thinking with all these categories that's just judgment and some of us remember that Jesus gave the sermon on the mount and if you boil down the contents of the entire sermon on the mount you could boil it down in two words judge not some of us remember judge not lest you be judged if we hold onto ego thinking if we keep judging the world we are bringing that same judgment on our mind and what's that do it takes us out of our awareness of our divinity which God didn't create us to be judges God didn't create the mind to be stereotypical to have all these judgments and categories we're blocking ourselves from the truth by holding onto judgment and then some of you know that they discovered the Gospels of Thomas and I really enjoyed reading the Gospels of Thomas Gary when Lawrence talked about that with Persa being Thomas but actually of all the teachings of Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas the one that really strikes me the most is again two words just like the sermon on the mount was judge not I like that it's very concise the two words that he says in the Gospel of Thomas are be passers by that's what his instructions are for us to wake up into the kingdom of heaven so now it's another version of judge not be passers by and he actually refers to that in lesson workbook lesson number 128 of A Course in Miracles the lesson itself is the world I see holds nothing that I want and when you get into that lesson he starts off a sentence by saying the only value that this world has don't you love it when Jesus Christ starts off a sentence the only value that this world has he finishes it he finishes it is that you pass it by without looking for any hope and that's right we're ready what did the red words say the whole book the whole course is red letters and it shouldn't surprise us because the title of the lesson is the world I see holds nothing that I want there's even one of his pamphlets the echo therapy pamphlet he gave us a song of prayer there's a great line in the song of prayer the pamphlet that Jesus gave to Helen Shuckman in answer to her and Ken they had more questions about prayer so Jesus dictated song of prayer and in that little booklet the song of prayer Jesus says the secret of true prayer when he starts off a sentence waiting again the secret of true prayer and he finishes his sentence is to forget the things you think you need wow that's the secret of true prayer is to forget the things you think you need you can tell that's why we're going into trust because we've got all this conditioning save for a rainy day make good investments look out for number one don't ever get caught off guard we've got how many insurances we've invented so many insurances you can't even keep track of them anymore do you have insurance for this insurance for your iPhone your I watch insurance for your body your life insurance your health insurance your car insurance some of the Lloyds of London they invent insurances for things that you can't even imagine and what we're learning is that all of these these insurances are all involving time it's a fear of future loss basically that's what insurance is about sometimes I tell people I've said for years insurance is a bet against yourself if you have life insurance you take out life insurance with a bet that you'll die and the only way that you collect on the bet is to die the only way you win the bet is to die that's pretty absurd it's quite insane when you think of it and then think of health insurance the only way you collect on health insurance is what to get sick this is insane but this is what you have upside down and backwards it's got all kinds of contradictions all kinds of things that don't make sense so as we work with the course we start to see these contradictions we start to see these oxymorons we start to see more and more like hmm right I'm not going to ever find peace of mind and resolve the riddle of my life and my mind through these worlds of contradictions but there is another way which is forgiving the world releasing the world even if we consider the whole world is just a tiny mad idea what Jesus is really saying in the course is he says give it back you think you stole something and this idea you've got in your mind is that you stole something give it back give it back to the Holy Spirit you don't want to hold on to this idea, this tiny mad idea that you're holding on to because it's generating a distorted perceptual world that is blinding you from the truth it's blinding you from knowing who you really are like the Lion King, remember remember who you really are this tiny mad idea needs to be surrendered and how do we do that except through trust of course the miracle is out in Southern California 30 years ago in fact it's probably just a little over 30 years ago I think it was summer time of 1986 and so this is what we're heading into winter of 2016 so over 30 years ago I picked up this Course in Miracles book and when I got into it deeper and deeper and deeper you know what this whole thing is about really is just connecting me with the Holy Spirit with my inner teacher that's all this is for as soon as I do that, as soon as I make contact like that what was that Jody Foster movie first contact just contact as soon as I make contact then I know that the Course will have served its purpose then anything after that is just whipped cream and cherry on the top and to me that's what the living of it was about because I mean Jesus had me five years out on the road from like 91 to 96 often times not knowing where I sleep or stay from night to night to night I went through a sequence of I call them trust exercises where basically at the beginning of that five years of trust I actually was tuned in and I could get the specific instructions from Jesus he was basically leading my life go here, go there, do this, do that stop that all the real direct connection and that connection with Jesus and my willingness to follow like he's like well the only way you're going to know for sure that you can trust me is you have to follow me and then the joy and happiness that you get from following me will be the evidence you'll have an actual experience of the escape from the bondages of the ego the bondages of living your time so to me it was a very experiential ride that took me right into trust and I also took note that Jesus says in the Course trust would settle every problem now that was quite a powerful line, trust would settle every problem now when I was out in the road where I didn't know where I was going to sleep where my food would come from where I would be, what would I do it would always come back to just trust trust me and listen to what I'm telling you and follow and that has been my pathway to God not really meditation I would say there's been some quite extended periods that I've had I call them very meditative but it's actually more a path of listen and follow trust, listen, follow trust, listen, follow that was the basics for me and I came into an experience with the Course where it was like wow I'm so grateful for the Course I use it first as an oracle to pray and pop it open and I read it and I did the lessons and I did follow it but in the end I say that the actual experience is like 1% principle and 99% practice that the thing that turns the corner in your mind into an actual experience is the practice of you were mentioning how practical is so important even when we talked at the end of the first break about which book would be helpful, something that's really practical catches you and that's exactly the way I felt about the spiritual journey that it had to be practical that I didn't want some kind of theoretical thing or a new theology to get all excited about and go out and pontificate and tell all my friends and tell the world about a new... it didn't want a new theology I just wanted an actual practical experience and I think that it does involve letting go of our past learning I had 10 years of university and who knows how many years of education before that 10 years of university it required that I keep showing up again and yet again and yet again with that attitude of show me, reveal to me you lead the way and to me that's the most important thing if we have this accumulated past learning where we think we know our own best interests we can tell how the day is going to go and how our year is going to go because I know attitude then that's the biggest block to spiritual awakening is to think that we already know and even if you talk to teachers in the classroom they love students that are open-minded and willing and are like sponges they show up and they've got that show me, teach me attitude that's the same kind of attitude that we need to have with A Course in Miracles and it doesn't have a lot to do with like prior learning in terms of spirituality I think I remember when you first came there was this like you were just sharing earlier how you felt like you could give your whole life over to it and then of course there's going to be some bumps and some jolts along the way but it's like a convincing job it's like a convincing job that happens that when you start to give yourself over to it there's something in you that just ignites this is it this is my pathway to ascension yeah it feels like it's different different to convince me yeah like David mentioned there seem to be and seemed to be bumps on the road so to speak and even with all that like oh this is my life and I am to dedicate all my life to it but bumps happened and even through those bumps there's still this sense of ignition that this is the way and the only the only point of reference to how is this my awakening because like everything would come in the way that I would never think logically that that's how this is how you do it and these are because it feels like these are they seem to be the path in that what I would call not a traditional like I would call it a traditional spirituality it so and then but then the only point of reference the way I felt it there was like this ignition where there's a sense of knowing that somehow deep down inside although there was even when there was some fear and some it became more into having that feeling of like breath taking or taking a leap there was always this feeling of like this is the way this is the way although part of the mind was like well this is crazy this is crazy there's still that knowing but then that that would be like this what's going to lead the way and with that trust and then there's that convince me convince me like a lot of times I just had I had to be I had to open say there'd be times where I would follow listen and follow and be like yeah yeah yeah yeah this is great this is great this is great and then there would be time where I would hear the guidance and I'd be like yeah I don't know about this like I don't know if I even can and and it was the matter of not even hiding that for myself not even trying to be like soldier for God be that open and then from there on it was the way like you're going to have to convince me that this is this is the way you're going to have to really lead like spoon feed me through this because this seemingly a bit it's a bit more challenging and then of course something gets held in the mind about like what is challenging and what isn't and but yeah there there are times and I feel like even that is a deepening of trust and development of trust that I can I think the gift of it was the most like it was became a deeper and deeper awareness that it is a relationship with spirit Jesus that there is an actual relationship I don't have to hide anything and I can openly say I don't know about this I don't know if I can I there were times I would actively say I don't want to hear this right now there were times where I would deaf and it was really deaf of course there was nothing my ears were fine but it was just something that like I don't want to hear this I really don't want to hear this and then there's still that little woundness and even a sense of gratitude so far like every every time I have followed it only led me to what kind of happens really like a deeper and deeper sense of wow and like this deep state of mind and so and then there is so there would always be that little woundness and then okay show me you're gonna have to convince me you're just gonna have to convince me and then from there on it seems to flow yeah and and of course I I I highly recommend that it is helpful to be to have the supportive system and like supportive symbols that can like in these times when you're not sure where that the support can come from and like it's a feeling that you're supported in that and sometimes you know you may say I don't want to do this I'm not doing that it's not really the truth it's like please don't don't let me stop there and so when there's a support with that and when there's there's what when there seem to be symbols that are in support of the truth they seem to overlook that I'm not I don't want to do that that is ever more helpful and so that that also comes from the place of it the form begins to merge where it's not really there's an actual experience that they're not outside this is from that willingness of from that place of like this is my path and bring everything that supports that and these things are like whatever symbols are they are helpful in these moments like in these moments and this is pretty much it's not about depending on the symbols but it's also about accepting and it's like in every moment this is what's given by this experience so it can be fully reliable and fully trusted and I don't have to try to figure out by myself or even in these times of senior resistance or even here by myself I have to hear something because like when there's resistance just as are like I want death at some time no I couldn't hear that was just a reflection of like the mind was blocked so it was seeming just trusting the direction and following the guidance that came in from my mind companions and that there's I think it's a beautiful thing so there's something to me I think it's all beautiful and it is it's not about personal hearing personal awakening it is a collaboration like that so yeah yeah it's a friend of our Francis she used to think about this thing called Divine Providence and she said oh yeah Jesus Apostles Divine Providence, Saint Francis Mother Teresa you think of it in terms of characters having a life of faith where they just live trusting God with everything but then at one point she started to realize wait a minute that's still too small because it is a dream and I am under no loss but God's and we're all connected it must actually be that we're all living in Divine Providence whether we're aware of it or not we may have convinced ourselves that there's things called jobs and governments you know we may have be having a solutionation where we put it out we say well I'm living on my work and my job and my career you know we convince ourselves of this but it can't be that there's a few special people throughout history that we're living off of the mona from heaven and trillions and trillions of others who are struggling to make ends meet you know it just it doesn't seem right if there are the laws of love are real the laws of abundance and care and support are truly from God then they must be equally available to everything and everyone so that's where we get into this thing when you start to undo the self-concept you start to have experiences of things showing up in your dream on your dreamscape but not always predictable things start oh wow that's nice well that just got taken care of well that was really simple you know we have those little glimmers that was so simple I wish I wish you could always be we find ourselves saying I wish you could always be that simple and overly that's what of course a miracle is about miracles are natural Jesus says when they do not occur something has gone wrong that we should expect daily miracles that we are not only asked to study the course but we're asked to give ourselves over to it so fully that we experience natural miracles natural daily miracles so many miracles that we can't even delineate where one ends and the next one begins you can see where that would take you into a joyful state of mind where you start to get saturated with miracles and you're so saturated that you can't make a distinction where one begins and where one ends you see that's part of this convincing job the Holy Spirit has to convince us has to take us inward into a state of mind where we can recognize the Christ that this baby Christ child is in us it's still there and all it needs is recognition but we do have to surrender and have a lot of this other stuff washed away and that has been our journey I mean we all can recount the steps along the way I remember too when I first came in contact with you that even before we first had contact we had a phone call there were things going on like you're in a bartending job and you had an apartment like a couch and you started to get these feelings by the end of it you could start to feel that some of these dream symbols were over they were at that time Spirit was working with me for about a year but I knew that there was already focus like the mind training has come to what there is a focus and what I would call at a time a next stage is coming out a next stage in the mind training but however there's some things that I still had to unwind from and one little thing that was still there was my job and as I saw it's just like a lot of it was my life, it was who I am with that job and it wasn't even a big job it was just a bartending job and but the time has come that I heard quit tonight is the night to quit and then I quit I just let it go and I knew this is I'm not coming back anymore where before it was a relationship I'll quit, I'll come back and so by that time this is for good then a month later I started to feel that there's going to be a relocation in terms of the city countries and it was in terms of countries I heard start getting rid of my stuff from my apartment like furniture extra clothes I heard to only leave enough clothes for a suitcase and I still didn't know where I was going there's no plan or agenda but I kept following through following through and then by the end where the call came in and why even when I got in touch with Living Miracles I only had a couch in my house and I knew by that time I already I was going to give my landlord a notice that this was going to be my last my last months too and I was like I still don't know where I'm going but I had that certainty because it was a very clear guidance and I started to see some reflections coming at me saying that get ready enjoy your place, it's going bye-bye and then and then they came in by the time I connected with David he said he has like where you're at I was like I don't have anything everything's been cleared and I think we decided that I would make it in two weeks and but that was the feeling of trust and like deep trust and I I didn't know cases where there was just no no next step given usually there's an actual next step given already and then and then you start to prepare for it and start unwinding but I guess it's used for the extreme teaching purposes too but I just knew it in my heart already that something was coming and I wasn't going to it wasn't an option that I would just miss it it would be everything is going to work as if only if I just follow follow follow follow I think what this starts to give you a little bit of a feel for is that the way that you unwind from this world the way you unwind from being so identified with a character with a dream figure and you start to loosen your mind that's a strong body identification that's a strong dream figure identification is by following these inner instructions it's like there's parts of the course where it says Jesus was the first to complete his part perfectly so he was the first to accept the Atonement for himself and basically now because of his willingness to listen and follow to the Holy Spirit and to accept his part perfectly now he's in charge of the plan awakened this is an interesting commentary in order to be the leader of the plan you have to be the ultimate follower before you can be the leader doesn't that make sense? how would you know the way out? how would you know the escape hatch unless you completed your part perfectly and then in doing so hahaha okay this has been a trick but now I'm beyond the trick I'm beyond the ego you might remember some of that from the Bible be of good cheer I have overcome the world Satan is underfoot hmm the red words again I like those red words Satan is underfoot depression is underfoot fear is underfoot shame is underfoot anxiety is underfoot be of good cheer I have overcome the world that's the kind of leader I want and that's the kind of leader that you have to be the ultimate follower to be a leader in that sense you know the first one to complete his part perfectly then suddenly becomes the leader of the plan and he basically says I'm standing here for you the only thing that difference the only difference between us is time and he reminds us that there is no time so we are perfectly equal we are actually perfectly one with Christ and it's only the belief in time that stands between who we are and our awareness of who we are that's all it is it's just a belief in time that it takes time to be who you already are that's pretty bizarre but if you read Lesson 139 I will accept the Atonement for myself it sounds pretty funny in there he says you are yourself and yet you doubt it it's just like he's extending this love and he's extending all this joy and happiness and he basically I stand at the gate of eternity and as long as I'm standing here with my arms out reached the door cannot be shut and I live forever so basically the ego has no hope you will inevitably recognize who you are just like I did and that's why Jesus said I am the way of truth in the life because he was the ultimate follower he accepted the reality of identity and now of course he's a way-shower in that sense so when Diana was sharing all these kind of steps this kind of thing happens to me a lot I was I think it was in last year at the beginning of this year I think it was when I went to Australia and Halima was there and she came up to me after the gathering and she said the spirits just told me that I needed to go to Google and type in when is David Hoffmeister coming to Sydney and I hit the the send button and Google said you'd be here and then here I am with you and now she's saying I'm supposed to just leave leave my job leave everything behind leave Australia and this is all through inner direction where people just show up and all they're doing is from inner listening here's what I'm hearing the reason I'm here is because I was told to come here now the reason I'm talking to you is because you have something to tell me and then we talk and then 17 years prior to that she had a brother who married from Columbia who had married a woman from United States and therefore he got his green card and he applied for Halima to get her green card it was 17 years ago and now the case had just come up so not only is she inner directed to come to my gathering to leave everything her life in Australia behind now she's got a green card coming through that started 17 years ago and now she's in the United States and she's back in Utah helping me with doing broadcast using her language she's originally from Columbia so she's using her Spanish skills for sharing things they just show up on Q because why? why do people just show up on Q in the plan of awakening? because Jesus is behind all of it he completed his part and he is using all of the symbols of time and space for the awakening everything is a prearranged plan there's no accidents there's no random events every single event or witness in this world or any other realm or you see on television seemingly going on in a remote part of the world everything is being orchestrated Jesus is behind all of it for the plan of awakening and the plan was accomplished in the very instant where there seemed to be a need for it he tells us that it seems in time to take a long time to play out what was accomplished in one instant so we were talking earlier about how actually grace is the fact of the matter that everything is already already handled already taken care of and now it's just a matter of that openness and willingness to accept what's already there accept the gift accept the gift of pure innocence of pure joy and pure happiness and everything that I experience in this world with all these 30 years of miracles that I've had ever since I picked up a course of miracles all that's just been showing me that I can feel more than ever the presence of Jesus behind absolutely everything that's why I'm really not shocked when I read a headline I'm really not shocked when events take a twist or a turn because I know with Jesus He doesn't miss a thing it's all perfectly orchestrated and it's all working together for the good only the ego wants to judge and go can you believe that happened? that really messes my day up oh no, it doesn't mess our day up if we choose to see it differently we can actually give thanks for that we can give thanks for what it showed us for what it offered to us we can give thanks for the blessing and soon love comes into awareness Jesus says love cannot be far behind a grateful heart and a thankful mind the more gratitude we need into for everything I mean absolutely everything we start to see the blessing and everything then we're zooming back up we're in the tractor beam yes we have a microphone too Sam it's just for recording purposes because I have people who write to me say that's fine for giving and says preachers when I came here I still don't understand what he was asking you about what happens when we die what is our purpose Jesus is still alive what happens to us well what we need to do is first of all this is a world of concepts so when we ask the question what happens to us when I die the first thing we look at is that when I die part when the body dies I guess you're saying what happens when the body dies and if this is a dream then this is a dream of death is an ending and we we could say that it seems like birth is the beginning of some sorts and death is an ending of some sorts and that there's a gap there's a time frame which we call a human life that is wedged in between birth and death there's lots of experiences there and there's lots of memories and many events and many happenings when you work with the Course of Miracles Jesus is like well we need to work with your definitions first of all your definition of life is biological you believe that life has a beginning and it has an ending you call that a human life you use the word life right after a human and he's going you know it's actually birth is not a beginning and death is not an ending and in fact what we call beginnings and endings are transition points but there's even a higher perspective beyond transition points and what he's saying is you have a tiny man idea that you believe in and a filter Corinthians in the Bible says you look through a darkened glass and that darkened glass that Corinthians is talking about is an ego filter that ego filter is almost like putting dark sunglasses on really dark sunglasses those set of sunglasses are the death it's not what we perceive in form we think that plants are born trees are born, trees die squirrels are born, squirrels die humans are born, humans die we think the death we've defined it on the timeline as an event and then we ask the question what happens we say to Jesus what happens after that event and he's saying I'm going to help you with those sunglasses because everything that you're perceiving is distorted absolutely everything you've taken it to be like real life like you've taken it to be the way things really are so we're getting that time okay I'll see you tomorrow we'll see you tomorrow so so when we ask the question what happens after we die in other words it could be a version of it where do we go after we die is if we have like a soul that's in a body just looking through these eyes and listening through these ears and so on and so forth and then where does that soul go or do we transition to another realm or do we have a holding pattern that we have for a while before we reincarnate and come back and give it another go you know all those kind of things seem to be very legitimate kind of questions and the more we practice the Course in Miracles we start to have actual experiences that start to dissolve the questions we were talking as we've been driving around with Peter because Peter is like I don't believe in reincarnation and reincarnation is a belief system and there are many belief systems and even death is is just a concept all it is is a concept to give you an example of how it worked with me was I had asked that question many times about what happens after you die what happens after you die I'm doing the workbook lessons of Course in Miracles and I get to this workbook lesson where I wake up I'm giving my full 100% effort to it and in the workbook lesson it says there is no death there's Son of God is free that's in the workbook lesson so I read the words and it hits me it's very strong it's like a big huge experience there is no death there is something that can take us to a state of mind where we can't even ask the question where do you go when you die it's an actual experience I would just wipe that one away there is no death so in the parable of David I'm doing my lesson I'm feeling all this energy and after I finish the lesson Jesus tells me I said okay you're going to take lunch to your grandmother today and I said oh great but you're not going to go to the same grocery store where you go to the salad bar and you make her her lunch like you've done many times you're going to another grocery store it's the same name but he's taking me to another grocery store which I hardly go to so I said okay so I go to the salad bar I make my grandmother the lunch I finish with the salad bar I'm back and I think it was maybe maybe before I went to the salad bar I was back near the frozen foods and I've got this lesson going through my head like a Rolodex this is so strong there is no death the Son of God is free there is no death Son of God is free this is my daily lesson there is no death you know he's like this is it this is the lesson of the day there is no death Son of God is free and over there I noticed that there's a woman laying flat on the grocery store floor and I noticed she's not breathing she's just laying there and I'm like back by the frozen foods just watching this woman and the paramedics pain and then they tried CPR they tried to revive her and everything and she's not moving so I'm just watching my hands back on the frozen foods, it's cold because I'm leaning up against the frozen foods I've got, there is no death, the sun of God is free going, and then the paramedics leave momentarily and then all there is is this woman laying on the tile floor of the grocery store in front of me I'm watching, she's not moving it's like a cadaver, it's just a frozen body and then again there is no death the sun of God is free, all this energy up near the third eye all this energy in my heart now it's getting stronger and stronger, almost like Jesus is like okay, here's the point of the entire day it's not your grandmother's lunch or this and this and then it gets very very strong I'm standing there, hand against the frozen foods still watching the whole thing, then her diaphragm starts moving and now we've got a body that's breathing in front of me and I remember I just watched the whole thing and it seemed so natural it seemed to go perfectly with my my lesson of the day, it was still symbols but it was like and so then I went and I went back and I got got the lunch for my grandmother and I went on and just continued on my day very matter of factly but that was like a symbol of a body coming back to life or moving again, which was just a symbol of like are you paying attention now what does that even mean, there is no death the sun of God is free, what he's really saying by that is there is no ego the sun of God is free that you made the ego by believing in it and you can dispel it by withdrawing your belief from it and the ego itself is death that's what death is so when we ask the question what happens after death on the horizontal plane we're asking the question what happens after the body dies and then we go back into our mind we start realizing that the ego is the death which it is the death what happens after death what is there beyond death is eternal life and that eternal life is always ours we can't die because we were created by God as eternal and it's only this ego trick of trying to convince us that we're flesh, we're bodies we're time creatures we're bound between birth and death, that's the trick so you see there's two ways of answering the question what happens after the body dies I would say I answered that one time where I was visiting this woman and she was studying a course of miracles I was resting on a couch I think in her basement and all of a sudden her son I don't know, he was maybe I don't know 10 years old or something, he comes into the room and he looks over at me and he says my mom believes in reincarnation, is it so? the voice says and I said well I'll come over here and so we get the remote control out and I said you're a soul, you're a spirit you're love, you're light and you have this crazy idea that there might be something more than love, light, joy, happiness and he's like, so I give him the remote I say now turn the TV on you have this crazy idea that there's something more than love, he turns the TV on, it's a TV show and then I say now watch it for a little bit so he watches it he says okay, okay, and I said now change the channel and so he changes the channel to another station I said now your mom believes that you were a figure in that first TV program and you just converted to another program really you just changed the channel you didn't go anywhere nothing really is different but now it's a different character so I said change the channel again so he changes the channel again and I said now your mom would say we incarnated into this character who's on the TV but really you just changed the channel so I said change the channel again so he changes, so you know how kids are he changes the channel a number of times and he's like okay where is this going isn't it great, ten years old it's like let's get to the cut the chase what's the point what's the point in changing the channel so I said now you believe it was a little girl and I said now you believe you're this little girl and your mom would say you just reincarnated as a little girl really you just changed the channel I said you have to have a new perspective of this whole thing before you're free of it and he said okay how do I do that and I said okay you're going to change the channel one more time one last time and then we'll see what happens so he changed the channel and it's a priest like Peter was a priest, a Catholic priest it's a Catholic priest and I said now it seems like your last lifetime is a Catholic priest you've gone from the little girl now you've reincarnated into a Catholic priest but really it was a priest in a church actually I said but you're not a priest you're everything on that screen you're the pews you're the stained glass windows you're the little what is it, the stuff that they you're the host you're the steeple you're everything there you are not a part you are the whole I was kind of getting a bit into quantum physics and going beyond superposition back to the quantum field it was a little teaching in the quantum field with the ten year old but it was in his terms that he could understand you're all of it and then he says to me okay can I turn it off can I turn it off you see that little skit with a ten year old coming in and saying my mom believes in reincarnation is it so that it encapsulates everything and the question is what happens after I die could be seen in terms of just changing channels all you're really doing is you're shifting in mind to a different perceptual outcome but really you're all you're every single person that ever seemed to live you're every scenario every solar system every galaxy the mind is all-encompassing but it thinks it's located inside of time and space and that's what the death is the death is the belief that you have a location imagine God created you as an eternal being and you're going I don't think so I have coordinates I have time space coordinates you're telling God it's the creator of of all eternal and you're an eternal creation and you're trying to tell God you have coordinates so that's what the death is the death is the belief that you can be limited in any way that's what death wishes and the end of death of course is resurrection we nothing happens with death if death is an unreal idea how could we think it could be a real change there could be a real change associated with something that God didn't even create when we resurrect when we see that we're a whole mind we're eternal we're universal then the lie is over it never really was but it's not an awareness anymore so we don't have any awareness Christ has no awareness of death some people feel like they know the story of Jesus like they say oh he came to Mary and Joseph and came at a stable at Bethlehem and he came over virgin and then he grew up and he went through some things and then when he was like 12 years old he got a little bit cocky and decided to spend more time with the rabbis when they went you know to Jerusalem and then Mary and Joseph left and they were leaving they're heading back to Nazareth and they go where's Jesus and where's Jesus oh he's we gotta go back we've got a lost child we gotta go back and go back we go back there he's with the rabbis you see he's he's got important things it's not your typical 12 year old kid he's got some very important things he's got to teach and discuss and when they kind of scold him for being this not a good little Jewish boy and for hanging close with the family when they scold him, what does he say to him don't you know I have to be about my father's business uh oh here we go with these red letters now Mary and Joseph are like oh he may, oh he may that's back talk you're 12 years old and you tell mom and dad don't you know I have to be about the father's business you know but actually that was like we should have known something's coming when he says something like that I've got to be about the father's business I said 12 there's actually a movie that just came out it's an amazing movie you start to see 12 year old doing miracles and then they're all shaking things up mom and dad are like they don't know what to think you know I don't know I can't explain what's happening with my son but the time he makes it into his 30s he has fully resurrected the mind so you might say that when he reaches his early 30s that question you ask what happens after you die is gone he doesn't have that question anymore because why? because he's recognized he's everything he's not a man living in Galilee at the time period with the Romans and Roman Empire that story is gone that story is long one he's in the state of mind I and the father are one he's in the state of mind before Abraham was I am so he's already lost that question by that point and then what does he do for three years he goes around demonstrating the I am principle and that's why he could heal the sick because he transcended sickness why could he raise the dead why could he wait like three or four days so Lazarus was in the grave wearing the grave clothes stinking starting to smell and he could just say a few words Lazarus come forth and why could Lazarus jump out of the grave when billions and trillions of people started that time when you're dead you're dead you're not coming back but Jesus was like because he had reached I am the I am state of mind he had transcended death he had transcended sickness he could say some words which is the Holy Spirit saying Lazarus come forth and that was just like a little skip because what people always say I am dead my God you don't hear those stories you know it's like that's amazing but all I'll say is well let's take it a little further after Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead did Lazarus die again the second time well yeah I suppose so what's so big deal about Lazarus coming out of the tomb if he died again what Jesus was teaching was the resurrection of the mind the remembrance of the Christ you see he wasn't he wasn't here to just go around raising bodies from graves or chasing away lepers or chasing away demons and healing the sick that's too tiny he wasn't here to try to change people on planet earth he was here to teach us that we are in a heavenly kingdom we have an eternal creator and our home is not in time and space you see how that's a much bigger lesson than these even these miracles that Jesus was using those were like little reflections tiny little reflections of a much greater lesson and what was his lesson was there is no death that's what he was here teaching so now as we look at our stories and our lives and everything you come up from a book of course the miracles and I believe it's miracle principle number 24 at the beginning of the book the first chapter you he says can heal the sick and raise the dead because you made sickness and death and can abolish them both imagine picking up a book in chapter 1 and reading that sentence you can heal the sick and raise the dead because you made sickness and death and can abolish them both powerful so that's what happened to me 30 years ago I picked up that book and I started reading the book and I was like holy Christ my God this book is a pathway it's like a tool it's a gateway into eternal life and what is the purpose of life the ego made this world the purpose of our seeming life with this world is to wake up from this dream and remember there is no state of mind and Jesus is just a way shower he's just a symbol that it can be done it has been done and now he seems to be actively instructing every day I get active instructions as I go through my day every day I meet people every day all kinds of things happen in our life it's hard to even keep track of them all or explain them all it seems to be part of a plan where people are being used by Jesus in communication terms to come into that state of mind and to transcend the matrix to use a Wilkowski Brothers movie you know to wake up to the experience of you are the one that's what Morpheus tells Neo you are the one and then he goes to the Oracle he's got to go through a lot before he actually comes into that transcendent experience where he can hold his hand up when bullets are coming he's told ahead you won't have to dodge bullets he doesn't understand that at first he so identifies Neo he thinks it's kind of cool to be able to dodge the bullets but that's not the lesson the lesson is to transcend the belief and attack which is what the one does the one cannot attack the one cannot be attacked the one simply is it's eternal so yeah it's beautiful I'm glad you asked that question because these questions I've been answering these questions for the last 30 years but actually we can join into a feeling we all know the truth it's just getting activated and we do activate it by allowing ourselves to ask questions the ego doesn't want us questioning too much it wants to just accept the status quo accept your feeling of lostness or feeling like you're oblivious you're in oblivion it doesn't want us to wake up from this dream it wants us to just kind of play your part grow old get sick and die it wants us to stay locked into that storyline and this is going oh no there's more there's so much more so we always exist just as if it was one that's our reality we always exist as one we don't die and we weren't born either it's pure love it's all pure love and we're loosening from this idea of being identified as being a part of the script we're so even to use the dream analogy we're so identified with dream figures like when we fall asleep at night and we start dreaming it's really convincing it's like we have emotional reactions like we're in the dream even though it's just a being generated from our minds it seems like we're in it and it's very emotional and then maybe let's say we wake up from that dream we go to work after work we say let's go see a movie we go into a movie theater and we start having reactions in the movie theater we forget that we're in a movie we put down the money we go in there and we react to the movie and then we go along and we start to we get involved in a relationship well now all of our emotions are really getting intense and raw we're just the solo human moving through and then we get involved in a relationship now we've got jealousy and anger coming up emotions so we think I wasn't so bad when I was single what the heck have I got myself into these emotions are super intense but we've forgotten that we're dreaming and so Jesus comes in the course and he says you are the dreamer of the world of dreams no other cause doesn't have or ever will you see that's what he's really working with us to start to realize we're dreaming this and we can become more and more identified with the dreamer in fact we have a term in parapsychology called lucid dreamer you know where you're aware of this you're dreaming that's been around for decades lucid dreaming that's what he's really working with us he wants us to keep training our minds to be a lucid dreamer because we all know that when you are dreaming and dreaming you're aware of this dreaming it doesn't matter if there's fire breathing dragons we have fun and they're flying all the time we're flying all the time and then here comes that fire breathing dragon we're like oh come on bring it on and then it comes up and goes we go ha ha ha ha and then it throws its flames at us we go ha ha ha ha I'm dreaming ha ha ha ha it's as vicious as it wants if we're aware that we're dreaming it there is absolutely it can be fun it's like a amusement park adventure where you don't even need safety locks on because you're safe it's a feeling of safeness it's a feeling of empowerment so that's actually how it goes that's actually how my experiences in my parable of David have gone where I've just felt more and more where things can seem to be happening on the on the script or on the dream world or whatever but the reactions aren't there even going to like amusement parks like when I was a child a little child David was very afraid to go on like a big roller coaster rides and you know there's certain things we might have fear of flying a fear of heights, a fear of snakes a fear of spiders a fear of thunderstorms or a fear of going on amusement park rides that gyrate the body and all kinds of different angles or whatever the more you practice with the course it's kind of fun you could go through some of those same experiences before where you were afraid and you notice not afraid what's happened, what changed the perception changed some of you remember that was at what's it called they have the big screen some scope of IMAX I remember going to I went to an amusement park and I was amazed I was going on all these roller coaster rides thinking this is amazing I'm not afraid and then I went into the IMAX and they showed one of these movies where you're on the back of a fire in like a ladder fire truck in San Francisco and you're swinging out over things and you're going over cliffs and everything like this and when we went into the IMAX all of us what we all stood in there they had these metal bars and everybody's like what are all these metal bars for well, as you're watching the movie people are rolling on with metal bars and it's this I've been practicing the course for all these years so I'm in this IMAX theater and this movies comes on and people are grabbing grabbing the bars, grabbing my legs grabbing my arms but I wasn't grabbing anything and I thought this is the mind training this is what happens the more you train your mind look at lesson number one of the course nothing I see means anything you can tell where it's going if you give yourself over mind training that you will simply not react and respond to the images in the same way that you did when you were identified with the ego you can actually see the progress of that or maybe you've done it in terms of relationships where you have an intense relationship you break up you feel like your world crashes another intense relationship you break up you feel like your world crashes and then one then you have an intense relationship and you break up and you go hmm well that feels pretty good where's all that grief where's all that crying and gnashing of teeth there's something shifting here and you know it's your perception that's shifting you actually are starting to transcend abandonment you're starting to transcend rejection you know these are just egoic concepts so it's really good news it really is really good news okay we're grinding we're getting close to dinner time as well a quick question totally different and maybe well I might say that I actually bought a copy of the course in the late 80s I believe it was I ended up giving it away because a few pages I read I could not understand whatsoever hmm I picked it up a few years ago three four years ago laid it down and it just picked it up again and it's a commitment in my heart very much but here's the question why is it because I've heard this from a lot of people do we not are we not caught when we first pick it up what is that all about because people in groups you know course groups threw it up the window and so on and so forth issue yeah that that is an issue of readiness in other words sometimes we've heard the phrase ready and willing ready and willing well actually if you're willing but you're not ready you're going to put the book down and the fun part of my experience is I've gone to 40 some countries and I get to meet hundreds and hundreds of course students and teachers and hundreds and hundreds of groups I keep hearing these stories I I saw the book at such and such a year and then at such and such a year it got into my house and then I used it as a plant stand as a door stop you'd be surprised I have a fun position to hear all these stories over and over because I go around around the world they're all readiness stories that course is like getting your whiskey straight not diluted not on the rocks that's a strange shot and you only come into it when you're ready for it so there are no accidents in the plant sometimes people say why did it come into my life and then I couldn't read it I actually have a friend of ours Lisa Fair she didn't have a religious background at all she was living up near the in Pennsylvania near the Amish and she actually got the Course of Miracles and same thing as you she got into her house, she opened it up and she said I don't know who's dance I can't read this book I have no clue what he's talking about she then at some point went through addictions obesity all kinds of struggles battles going on in her life and finally she just got suicidal it was got really dark so she got to the point where she said she had two children fairly young she got into a room and she said listen God this is the end of my rope I can't take it I can't go any further I was expressing all the suicidal thoughts to God like if you're there if there is such a thing as God or if you're even there her disbelief if you're even there then I'm about ready to kill myself so you better make yourself numb to me and what happened after that was there and this stream streaming light just came like angelic flashes just all over her flashing her flashing her flashing her flashing her with words associated to these brilliant like light flashes truly believe truly fly Lisa Lauer truly believe truly fly flashes of light like she cried out if you're even there you better make yourself known these flashes of light coming at her truly believe truly fly like angelic flashes of light well she had been clinically depressed at that point suicidal and everything she went down and her children were used to clinically depressed mom she comes down from that experience that one experience that one I would call a mystical experience she comes down and she looks at her kids and she goes there is a God there is a God mom's resurrected mom's resurrected she's been with she called for it it's just a perceptual experience again but she called for it in her heart something she cried out for help and there was right when she was suicidal it came flashing in so the kids are jumping up and down they're like yay mom yes God there's a really good God they're happy to see mom happy you know she's been clinically depressed and drugged up and now she's saying there is a God so I meet her some years later where she I put my cell phone on the web and I think I was off traveling doing something and she called me up on the cell phone after she watched some of my videos you know this was years ago and the phone rings I don't know where I was I answer the phone she doesn't even say hello she doesn't even introduce herself and all she does is I pick up the phone and I say hello and I hear this voice that goes I want joy that's all she says I want joy answer the hello I want joy I join you in that completely and eventually I said she found out I was coming up to a town right near where she actually worked in Mount Joy that was the name of the she started a business she had a nursing staffing company in Mount Joy, Pennsylvania and here she's calling me saying I want joy on my cell phone and when I finally went up to Harrisburg which was right near her town she was so happy that she was I saw her come in I had never met her but I saw this woman after the talk she came over to me and she was jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping me and I had to jump up and down to hug her because you can't hug somebody in their emotion you know and you're not so I hugged her and then I got to meet those happy little children I got to meet them as teenagers when they were actually running the house she was the slave cooking for cleaning picking up back from them and they had pretty much taken over the whole household by that time but they've grown up to be teenagers and then we've known each other that was I don't know how many years ago 14 14 years and then she finally got into her calling of being a healer and she's down at our center in Mexico in Chapala but you see it's all a progression it's all a progression where we we can't even look back and say why wasn't I drawn to the course in the 1980s everything happens when we're ready for it and nothing will happen to us until we're ready for it and that's not something that you can figure out in a lifespan this has way beyond what we would consider a lifetime we may have had many many seeming lifetimes in preparation for this lifetime certainly I was talking to Judy sketched not too long ago and she relayed this beautiful story of how Bill Fetford always thought it's Helen's book and she's the scribe and I'm just kind of a tag along and this and this and this and one time Ken and Judy and Helen and Bill went out and they were going to meet this famous kind of psychic reader and they were told about him and he's very accurate and good so the four and the original four they go there and the guy goes kind of into a trance he's got his eyes closed and he points over to Bill Fetford and he goes, you in previous lifetimes many previous lifetimes were her teacher he points to Helen so he's getting a psychic reading on his own and you helped her in so many ways to prepare her for her function in this lifetime which was the scribe so he had all this unworthiness felt he was like just a tag along and that she was the main show the scribe taking all these interdictations from Jesus and everything and as soon as this guy with his eyes closed gave that reading Judy said Bill Fetford Bill just burst into tears because it was such a full expression a miraculous expression of they went way beyond this lifetime into a much larger context and that happens sometimes when we have psychic readings or we have something that opens up a window in our mind we start to see wow we've put a lot of effort into this awakening we can't judge what's happened in our this seeming life span or lifetime and we can't put a lot of credence in it because there's a lot more that meets the eye and all of us wouldn't be here having this talk and this conversation if there wasn't something in our heart that had a deep desire to go home in the truest sense to wake up and go home and so this whole talk is really just like a reflection of the deep desire that we have for awakening and I think it's about time for us to go have a dinner we've been breathing but we're almost at 5 o'clock thank you