Ludwig van Beethoven - "Moonlight Sonata" (1st Movement)
I have now composed 100 Beats / Instrumentals
And I have not sold 1 Beat / Instrumental.
I am like the Vincent Van Gogh of Music.
I haven't sold one piece in my lifetime,
I just haven't cut off my ear.
But I am not that stupid.
I told my therapist,
"I wasn't desirable.
Out of 400 women on EastMeetEast.com,
only 11 girls have liked me back.
And half of that only seem to respond back."
My therapist told me,
"If I knew you didn't work 40 hours a week,
and wasn't independent, and lived in your own home,
I wouldn't date you either.
She said, "I have patients that have parents
that take care of their children. And they don't
care about life either."
I even was going to marry someone in my life,
But my parents said since I couldn't take care of myself,
I couldn't get married. Even my brother said that
I need a job to support my self first.
People know me as Bipolar, and Mentally Ill.
They may not know I live off Social Security Disability
and SSI. They may not know I live off food stamps.
You're probably thinking get a job you bum!
Perhaps everyone is right.
But in the end I don't care.
Perhaps I am following something bigger and that's my dream
of composing music. That is that. I am not a teacher.
I don't teach music.
Some people like my music but for the most part don't
care to support my dream. And I am still okay with that.
I see many artists take off, me I am left behind,
especially on YouTube. I have a Moonlight Sonata piece
that has 2.4 million views but that was before adsense,
so I never got paid. I know many successful artists
on Youtube, in the past I even was friends with them.
Not only that my family is all financially successful.
I am the only that is not (including my twin brother
who supports my dream as a music producer / mixer / editor).
He doesn't compose music for the most part but supports my dream
as that stated above. He is in the same boat as me.
No one seems to care and that's fine with me.
And no one cares about me and my dream.
Sure they love me,
but for the most part no one cares to stay
with me and be my friend in real life.
I've lost all my friends since high school,
and the only support I have comes from mental health supports.
Dad kicked out the only best friend in my life that I had.
His name was David.
And I refused to be friends with a friend I knew 7 years
Because she spent $400 dollars a month on smoking.
She cut me off, and took me off instagram and Facebook.
I don't get opportunities, because no one understands me.
They all see me as that lowlife bum, but I don't see that.
I see a very passionate individual that follows his dream,
in spite no success. I will follow my dreams till the end.
It has now been a decade of composing music.
It would be great to have a hit, or make a lot of views on Youtube.
That would be ideal, to make a living composing music.
Many artist I know quit because of lack of support.
I know these artists, the Kuandohan and Syterious twins,
and the Sanko twins.
I am super glad my dad financially supports me, and has my back.
Cause else I couldn't keep making music.
This isn't something that fell in my lap,
I choose this path and it's a lonely road.
I am poor, but I still choose to follow my dream.
And with that I have no regrets.
Thank you for reading,
And Nothing Else.
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