 Oh, we waited too. Uh, are you waiting until marriage to have sex? You are. Is waiting for marriage really just purity culture? Is your relationship destined for disaster because you didn't move in with the person before you got married? How far is too far physically? All this and more in today's video. Stay tuned till the last video I'm gonna respond to today because I think it has some of the most relevant application for us. Without further ado, let's dive in. This video is made possible by the Daily Disciple Club on Patreon to support my mission of equipping people to follow Gia's daily. Join Patreon today. So I was really sad for this couple because I once was this couple and then I saw this couple. Oh, we waited too. I didn't know they're like the regret of abstinence. The regret of true love waits. The regret of not just having sex. Okay, so personally I would not make a video like the one that she was reacting to. It was just kind of weird and cringy. It's like, why are you doing those dance? Like you're just trying to get clout basically trying to get people's attention. I get you're excited, but I don't know. To me, I'm like, you can verbalize it in a different way than making that video. But it's fine. Whatever. Make the video that you want to make. That's cool. Now she's making fun of this couple for waiting because it isn't worth it and it won't be that good and it will actually be awful. Actually could be awful. And I think a lot of this comes out from the mentality of purity culture. Like they were told if you wait, if you wait for marriage, then you'll have this great fulfilling relationship and all the things that come from that. And then when they have these expectations, they go into these unbiblical expectations. They go into waiting and they're kind of this pragmatic. Oh, well, if we wait, if we put it off for now, we'll get this jackpot at the end of the rainbow. But then they didn't experience that. And they're like, whoa, what was the deal with all this? And I get that. That's one of the lies of purity culture. But I think it's important that we define what is and isn't purity culture as we're talking about saving ourselves from marriage. Because I see a lot of evangelicals and atheists and people that are now deconstructing Christians say, oh, you know, purity culture, it's all these kind of outdated ethics from the Bible saying that you need to, you know, wait for sex when you're married and all this. And I'm like, hey, that's not actually like maybe you can call that purity culture, but that's just traditional biblical ethics. That's actually in the Bible. To me as a Christian, when I talk about purity culture and some of the negative things that come with that, I'm talking about things that are extra biblical, the things that were do's and don'ts that were promoted to bolster your relationship or that you have this kind of great relationship in the end. If you just waited it out and you know, God would give you what you deserve and all this. And I'm like, that's not biblical. That's not why we, why we wait. And also this kind of shaming that was accompanied with purity culture, this lack of redemption and an understanding of Christ redemption. I'm like, yeah, I don't want any of that. That's not biblical. That's not good. But then we look at the Bible and we see, okay, hey, look, we're supposed to flee sexual immorality. So God actually does have a standard. So for the Christian, there's this twofold perspective. It's that we are commanded by God to flee sexual immorality, but at the same time, we have all fallen into sin and all have become impure and in our need of Christ redemption. So whether you've waited for intimacy your whole life, or maybe you've stumbled in the past and have encountered Christ redemption for both groups, it's important that we understand that our motivation here is key. Why are we seeking to honor God with our sexuality? Are you doing it because you think it's your ticket to secure future blessings? Or maybe getting God's good books? Or maybe even contribute to your own salvation? It won't. So why do we pursue the things of God? I often think of a criminal who stands before a judge after committing many, many crimes. The judge, as he's about to sentence this man, comes from his chair, takes off his robe, and says, I will take this man's punishment. That is what Jesus did for us. And that is why we live out of love for him after the grace and mercy that he showed us. Now coming back from the analogy, as Christians, we live with the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us with God's power and presence in our lives that enable us to walk in love and obedience towards God. So further, how do we understand what is purity culture and what are actually the true right and good commands of God? Well, explore the scriptures. Take God at his word. Also, here are two additional resources that will help you understand purity culture in light of biblical truth. The first is a book, which I do not have. Let me go get it. Okay, I got it here. So it's called Pure by Dan and Sarah. I don't know if that's how you pronounce it, but why the Bible's plan for sexuality isn't outdated, irrelevant, or oppressive. This is a solid read. And also a video that I did on I Kiss Dating Goodbye, one of the most controversial Christian dating books in history that many believe set the groundwork for purity culture. You're going to want to watch it. You should live together before you get married, definitely. And you should also live together before you get engaged. That first year living together is very important. I recommend you live together for at least a year before getting engaged. It takes time to build up the foundation. And then when you do get married, you already have a fantastic relationship. Man, these relationship gurus on social media are so funny to me. Like, it's like he says it with such authority. And you know, you need to, even before getting engaged, you need to move in with this person. The second you meet this person, you should move in with them because then you can build that foundation. It's like, bro, you can build a foundation outside of moving in together. And yet, and you ever think that those things that come with moving in together might be a distraction from actually building a real foundation? Okay, but beyond that, people often quote the statistic. It says that people who cohabitate before marriage have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who don't. For some folks, statistics might be very convincing and they're like, oh my goodness, the statistic indicates thus this is how I should conduct my life. As Christians, and as a Christian personally, I don't really put that much weight in statistics. I don't use them as the guide for my life. As Christians, we should be people of the word, not people of kind of evaluating these pragmatic statistics. Because today, the statistic says, don't move in with your partner, otherwise you're gonna get divorced. But what about tomorrow when it says, move in with your partner, and you know, you're gonna have a great life? It's like, oh well, am I just, is this my new master now? Am I gonna do whatever the statistic dictates? I hope not. And look, it's nice when statistics back up biblical truth, but that doesn't mean that we, you know, all of a sudden biblical truth is more authoritative now that some guy's statistic says it is. Look, people can espouse many different pragmatic reasons for wanting to move in together. We're saving money. We're building the foundation of a relationship. We gotta see if we're compatible. But honestly, a lot of the conversation around this topic makes me feel very icky. Let me explain. Have you ever heard the phrase, you can't buy a car unless you've test-driven it? And people apply that to this context? It's nasty. It's objectifying. It's like, oh, I don't want to be with you unless I know that I'll get what I need from you. It's like, oh, that's so weird. The focus is personal sexual gratification. I need to make sure I get what I need out of this relationship. And if I can't, then I don't want it. It's about me. It's not giving. It's not selfless. It's not sacrificial. It's selfish, which is the exact opposite way that the Bible talks about marital sexuality. Take a look at 1 Corinthians 7. Now people say it's risky not to move in with the person first because you don't know if you're going to, you know, mesh together and, you know, ultimately you don't want it to be hard. That's what this whole thing is about. It's about avoiding hard things, avoiding responsibility, avoiding commitment before you know that it's going to be what you want it to be. But all the while we're perverting God's design for sexuality in order to not make it too hard or uncomfortable on ourselves. But that's not the deal. That's not the design. Husbands were created to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And likewise, wives are called to love their husbands as the church loves Christ. And when we look to Christ, he was the perfect example of a self-giving sacrificial love asking nothing in return because we had nothing to offer. And so in this waiting period before you're married, yeah, it's tough to wait. It's tough to be patient. And yes, you're going to make mistakes, but ultimately we look back at the Holy Spirit inside of us. They're giving us His power and His presence in our life that we can overcome temptation. God would give us a way out of temptation. We just need to look to Him for that strength. Okay, so you met at church. You've been dating for six months. Are you waiting until marriage to have sex? You are. I'm glad someone said it. This is a pretty good analogy of what the world does when they see Christians living out their faith. They laugh because it's funny to them. They don't understand it. It doesn't make any sense. Why would you wait when you could receive this kind of instant gratification to get what you need to fulfill these desires within you? It doesn't make any sense to them. This idea of denying yourself, picking up your cross and following Christ doesn't make sense to a yet to be transformed heart. In the midst of that though, I found it to be helpful to clarify, hey, I'm not doing this just so I'm a good person or to somehow earn my way to heaven because often that's what people associate with waiting for marriage. And maybe that is some people that are waiting for marriage their perspective. This makes me such a good person or this is going to earn me favor with God. It's like, no, that's not the reason I'm doing it. I want to honor God because He died for me because He loved me even in my sin and He bled and He sacrificed Himself for me. And that is why I want to give my life to Him in service to Him. And yeah, I'm not perfect. Yeah, I stumble. Yeah, I make mistakes. Yeah, I'm not a good guy. But by God's grace, I'm seeking to live for Him every day. And yeah, some people might not get it and they'll make fun of you for it. But what are we called to do as Christians to turn the other cheek to love them even though they mock us because look at what our Savior went through. What we were going through is nothing compared to what He went through on our behalf. So the least we can do is love these people graciously and try to exemplify the sacrificial love that God has for us. Are you guys... Can you do other stuff or...? You can't... Oh, I f***ing love you. She goes... Sorry, if you're not religious, I'm sorry if this doesn't resonate with you. Okay, so just to be straight up with you guys, I don't think this is a good mentality for us to have as Christians to be like, oh yeah, we're not... Do we're saving that for marriage but we can get pretty close to the line if you know what I mean? It's like, that's just... No, like that's not honoring to God. Like, how... Why are we trying to get as close to the line of sin as possible basically just for our own pleasure and enjoyment? It's like, hey, we're called to flee sexual immorality, to be wise. Why are we going across these lines so close to the line just because we think we're going to get something from it or because we think we're cool or sneaky or something? It's like, no, it's not worth it. Boundaries are definitely important in relationships and you should have that conversation with your partner and maybe even mentors or parents in your life to say, hey, what's wise here? How can we best honor the Lord in this? Not because you think you make a good person or earn your way to heaven or because then you're going to be deserving of this wonderful relationship down the road. It's like, no, we do it now because we want to honor God because we know it's going to be challenging. We know it's going to be tough that even when we get married it's not going to be perfect just because we did it the right way but we honor God regardless. Okay, last thing and I need you to listen to me. If you've had this video playing on in the background you haven't really been paying attention. If you haven't heard anything I've said up until this point, listen to this. Don't let your sexual sin separate you from God. Let's say you're a Christian. Let's say you made a mistake. You sinned sexually. Whether that's pornography whether that's sleeping with somebody whatever that looks like. Don't let that put a border and a wall between you and God. Confess it now and he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Don't let shame and guilt separate you from the God who loves you and who wants you. God bless, friends.