 Ah, ah, ah! Don't turn that dial. This is the right station if you want to hear about Jonathan Thomas and his Christmas on the moon. Are you gathered up close to your radio? If you're not, then hurry, because, you know, this is the time for Jonathan Thomas, and you'll want to learn if he's kept his promise to rescue Santa, who was stolen away by the bad squibobliums, and it wasn't in play. Jonathan Thomas and the man on the moon said not to worry that they'd find him soon, and they and Gorgonzola the horse have been doing all that they can, of course. They've traveled along a dangerous road past the dragon's cave and the home of the toad, and oh my goodness, they've had so much trouble because of a kettle that was set to bubble by the very worst kind of a wicked old witch who rules over the land of Rumpelstich. You see, when a witch prepares her brew, there's no telling what'll happen to you, and she caused Jonathan Thomas to fall asleep as they passed through the nightmare forest deep. But quick as a wink, there appeared on the scene their very good friend, the fairy queen, and he soon woke up for she knew the charm. She's always trying to keep them from harm, and the wicked old witch was as mad as could be. He said, I'll get them yet, you wait and see. But the travelers' brave sat out once more when suddenly they heard an awful roar. It was only a lion who asked them to dine when they named him Jigraf, which he thought was fine, and he gave them a gift. It was a box of growls to frighten the witch and give her the howls, so they thanked him kindly and hurried away because it was getting very late in the day. At last, being tired, they thought it would be wise if they sat down to rest, and then they got a surprise, for they sat right down on the elf king's home and broke all the pieces his fairy thrown. The elf king was as angry as angry could be and said, for this damage you'll have to pay me. Just then, the old witch, mad as any old thing, came for Jonathan Thomas and the little elf king, but they opened the box and let out a growl, and she soon flew away with a dreadful howl. Then the elf king said, it's quite plain to me, I owe you my life, and here is a key to open the door in the wall of doors, and then what's more, I'll give you my wish to take you through, and that applies to both you and you. As down the road you travel, which you must be cause, you must find Santa Claus, and the kidnapping mystery unravel. So, they found the door as the elf king said, and they were very careful to use their head, but they were filled with dread as they all went in, but then, here's where the story begins again. Oh, Mr. Man and the Moon, if you please. This is the funniest place I ever saw. That's a tremendous simmer, Jonathan Thomas, if I ever heard one. This place isn't the least bit funny. Bet funny? I didn't mean that it was funny, like funny things are funny, but like unfunny things are sometimes funny. Sometimes funny. That's very complicated, Jonathan Thomas. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't even make one cent, and it takes five cents to make a nickel. To make a nickel. Oh my goodness gracious to Jimmy Cricket, who on earth is mocking me? Maybe it's only a nickel. Maybe it is. Oh, we must have come in the wrong door, but it's too late now because the door is locked, and we can't get out. Oh, look, Mr. Man and the Moon, somebody's coming. Huh? Maybe it's a parade, or maybe soldiers. Oh, free lab judge. It is soldiers, three of them, and they're probably coming to arrest us. Oh, what shall we do? Whatever shall we do, whatever shall we do? We better hide. Oh, it's too late now, here they are. But for more and it equates, so stop right now before it's too late. It must help a night, and we'd like some strawberry pie. Silly is as silly does. We're locked in jail without any bail, and we had to do it because we'd better tell the chief, be safe and sound, and gag with plum pudding till he can't make a sound. Why don't you guess? Before we confess. And if you guess right, we'll quickly say yes. We don't know where. They don't know who we don't. No we don't. Why, this is the kingdom without any malice. It isn't a rhyme, but I'll make up a line, which ends with the word squoosh whallis. The answer is yes. How did you guess? You're very smart, we'll have to confess. Oh, no wonder everything is made out of looking glasses. Well then, for gracious sakes, if this is the land of the looking glass, tell us where to find the queen. The queen isn't lost. Nobody said she was. Then why should you find her? Oh, for goodness sakes, to Jiminy Cricket, you're driving me crazy. You want to find her? You couldn't anyway, cause she's already found. You're getting me so sore, I'll rip and roar and oh, oh, oh, feel, I'm dead. We should like to see Queen Alice. Yes, we should like to see Queen Alice, cause I want to find Gag. Oh, please don't tease and tell us how to go about it. You don't have to go about it, just go straight down the road. Of course, on your horse, that's what me and myself said. Then you'll find a door. You should rap, rap, rap, rap, and that adds up to four. Oh, what's the door for? It's the door to the palace. Of good Queen Alice. There isn't a rhyme, but I'll make up a line, which ends with the word, Squoosh Wallis. Oh, thank you very much. Yes, thank you very much. Goodbye. Goodbye. Ye up, Gorgonzola, come on. For where we're off to see Alice in Alice's palace, for she was a very good queen. The best in the land I understand, and not in the least bit mean. Oh, we're off to see Alice in Alice's palace. We're off to Alice's palace. So down the road they went, as quick as if they'd been sent to the palace of Alice, the looking glass queen, who always is nice and never is mean. So Cliffordie Klopp and Cliffordie Klopp, they pretty soon came to a stop, and there was a wall that was very tall, and only one door to go through. So quickly, of course, they climbed off the horse, and before you could count up to two, they knocked and knocked, but the door was locked. Nobody's home, maybe. Fiddle sticks, Jonathan Thomas. If nobody's home, then somebody must be there. Not once more. No admittance until the second Tuesday of next week. Well, for goodness sakes. People shouldn't ever slam doors in people's faces. Knock again, Jonathan Thomas. We'll keep right on knocking until somebody does let us in. We're just knocking. No one will answer the door. Well, now, what's it been asking? What's been asking, if you please? Why the door? The questions come first, the answers come after. So what did the door ask you? Then why do you wish it answered if it didn't ask anything? I've only been knocking at the door. The door don't say... As they do. They say, keep out. This strictly means you. Oh, for goodness sakes. And you shouldn't go around knocking on doors, either, either, either. If you can't say anything good about them, then keep still. What did this door ever do to you? Why, nothing, of course. Well, then, you leave it alone and it'll leave you alone. It's as easy as subtracting nine from eight. Well, I... Stop that knocking, you little zany. Whatever it is, we don't want it. So go blow and never come back. Or it wouldn't surprise me if you don't get away. For I am Napoleon the Great and Henry number eight. And I much prefer the latter, and I not at all sad. But I am a little bit mad. Mad, mad, mad, mad. I am the mad hatter. Well, now, what next is going to happen? Things haven't been bad enough without going to a funny place like the looking-glass land where frogs talk and where the mad hatter lives. Oh, my goodness, I wonder what'll happen next. But maybe Queen Alice will be very nice to Jonathan Thomas and the man in the moon. And I certainly hope so, because Christmas isn't very far off and they've just got to find Santa Claus in time. So don't forget to listen to the next story of Jonathan Thomas and his Christmas on the moon, will ya? I went.