 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. In this one, I am in my hotel room, just sitting on the couch. And in this one, we are going to be speaking about how you know if you have hurt the narcissist. Because there are certain things that will reveal if you have or not. And many of you, you may want to know if you have hurt them. Because they're always so full of ego and pride. It's like they're so full of themselves. They're so self-satisfied. They're not always happy. But either way, they always think that they are superior. They're better than everyone. So it's like you want to take them down a notch and show them, humble them. So that they understand that maybe they're not better than you, after all. Because as we know, they're in denial. They haven't actually done or accomplished anything. They never put in the work to become something. It's just one day they just woke up and decided that they are that. And it's also fake. They never bring any value to anyone. They've never improved anyone's lives. So you just kind of want to humble them. You want to take them down a notch and show them that they're really not as great as they think they are. And this isn't out of envy or jealousy. You're just trying to show them the truth. Because the truth is they're really not as great as they think they are. They have ruined so many people's lives. They haven't done anything positive for anyone. And everything they do is just an act. They act powerful and superior. But they can't actually tell you anything that they've actually done, which warrants them having this view of themselves. So this has nothing to do with envy or jealousy. We're not envious of the narcissist. I mean, if the narcissist genuinely wanted to be and do better, we would be welcome in and we would accept that. We wouldn't try to tear them down, of course. But that's the thing. They act like they're better than everyone, but they never actually do anything. It's just all about them. So for that reason, you may be desiring to hurt them, to humble them, or you may want to avoid hurting them because you fear the narcissistic injury. So that may be another reason why you want to know what reveals that you have hurt the narcissist. So that's the little disclaimer for this video. Now let's get into the meat of it. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up button down below to show your support is very important as it helps to get this message out there to other survivors who may need it as well. This reveals that you have hurt the narcissist. When a person feels affected by you, they will desire to affect you. If a person feels unaffected, they will feel no desire to affect you. So straight away, that reveals that they feel affected. Quite possibly they feel hurt by something that you have said or done, something triggered them, something rubbed them the wrong way. And if they're a covert narcissist, you may never know what that was because they will keep it hidden. They may be too embarrassed or ashamed to admit it. They often exaggerate things. They turn molehills in the mountains. So if they came out and said whatever you said or did that hurt them, it may sound ridiculous to you and they know that so they keep it hidden. But they will let you know in passive aggressive ways to reveal to you that you have hurt them. There are always these signs. Of course, one of the main signs is that they will try to affect you. They will try to hurt you, hurt people, hurt people. So if you have hurt them, and it may be a knowingly to you, you may have never intended to do that. But they see their feelings as facts. So if they feel hurt in their minds, you must have done something to cause that. And they may devalue you and put you down, publicly humiliate you, they may triangle it with someone, spread rumors about you, ghost you, discard you, start a smear campaign against you, target you financially, try to get you fired from your job, they may give you the silent treatment, they may stalk and harass you. They would feel no need to do that if they didn't feel affected by you in some way. Then they could just go on about their business and they wouldn't have to go out of their way to harm you. But they do. They feel hurt and trigger them to reflect on their shame of feeling like they're a bad person. And again, you may not have even known or realized what it is that you did wrong. It's just any little thing can set them off. It doesn't take much to upset or offend them. So it could have been anything. And you may never know what it was, especially if you were dealing with a COVID narcissist. Because most often they won't even tell you. And there's a number of reasons why they do that. Why they leave you without any closure or an explanation. Of course, the main reason is to leave you the door open so that they can come back and love bomb you when they choose to. But also so that it keeps you guessing because if they come out and said it, it might sound ridiculous. I mean, honestly, if you look back at all of the things that they have done to you, there's really nothing that you could have said or done that would warrant their acts and behaviors. Nothing would justify it. I put you down, I insulted you, got you fired from your job, made you lose all your money, caused you to be homeless, got you locked in jail. Yeah, this is the reason why I did all of those things. If they ever came to you and they did that and they told you, you would probably mind. It would just be a very scary moment for you just to witness that coming out of their mouth. Because there is no justification, of course. And there is nothing they can say, nothing that would add up, nothing that would make sense to justify their actions. And of course they know that, which is why the COVIDs especially, they're not going to tell you. And that's really the difference between the COVIDs and the Overts. With the Overt and Arsacist, if you do something to them and it's like, right, you did this, you said this, you hurt me, I don't like it, they're just going to come out and they're going to make it very clear to you. You're going to know right from the start that they're not going to beat around the bush, they're not going to reveal it to you indirectly, they will make it very clear, they will make it known. Because it justifies what they're doing. And they believe that it warrants their behaviour towards you. They believe that it is fair, it is justified. So of course they're going to come to you and make it very clear. With the COVID and Arsacist, they play the victim, but deep down they know they're not really victims. They know that whatever was done to them, even if it wasn't imagined that something actually was done to them, they know that it doesn't warrant their behaviour or their mindset. They know that it's no excuse for that and that's why they remain hidden. That's why it's different from the COVID and Arsacist because the COVID and Arsacist is like, yeah you did that. That was really bad. I did not deserve it. And now I'm going to get you and I'm going to make it very clear that they are even more aware that what they're doing is wrong. And that's why they... I mean you've got to think, if someone thinks that what they're doing is okay, it's justified, it's fair, it's right, what reason is there to hide it then? That's how you know that they do know that what they're doing is wrong. They understand that it's not right. It's not fair, it's not justified. And another thing you will notice, especially with the COVID and Arsacist is how they keep it hidden behind closed doors and then in public they've got this mask, this facade and then they act like the exact opposite. They act like they're perfect, free from flaws to compensate for their shame and their insecurities because deep down they feel completely worthless. Of course when people do these types of things, it doesn't matter even if it's a psychopath, when they deliberately try to hurt you and they go out of their way to do it, with those behaviors it carries a lot of shame and the shame is constantly brewing beneath the surface. They feel like they're inherently bad and that's why they not only cover up their actions or behaviors, but they also wear a mask in public. They have this character they put on an act because they're too ashamed to reveal who they really are. They know that they're bad. They know that they're wrong. And that's another sign that you've hurt them as well is that their false image will change very quickly. If they feel slighted, if they feel criticised, not only will it cause a narcissistic injury and it may make them very angry, but whatever they think makes them flawed or is not right about them, they will make some form of corrections to it, but even then it's just manipulation. They're not actually going within and changing the core of who they are, but they will fine-tune their manipulation so that it doesn't happen again. So that's another thing that they will do if they feel hurt, but the main thing to look for is if they feel affected, they will try to affect you. If they feel hurt, they will try to hurt you and it's really that simple. That's what motivates them. That's what drives them. It's that pain that they feel inside and the way that they are constantly going out trying to hurt people, not just you, you might see them out in public as well, that should tell you how they are constantly miserable every day. There's always something getting under their skin and it's not that way to deliberately go out of our way to hurt them. They're just very insecure, they're easily threatened. They constantly feel slighted. I mean, if you're not even directly involved with a narcissist and you want to know if the person who's with them, their boyfriend, their girlfriend, their husband, their wife has hurt them, if you want to know if someone has hurt the narcissist, look at that person, scan their moods, their feelings, their behaviors, observe their mental, emotional, physical and psychological health, their behaviors, their daily patterns. If they have any addictions such as alcohol, tobacco, drugs, shopping, gambling, pornography, sex, video games, observe all of these things, observe their anxiety, their depression, any mental illnesses, any physical ailments, injuries, observe their quality of life, their home, their cleanliness, their self-care. Do they live an interesting life or do they just tend to isolate? Are they isolated? Do they self-isolate? Are they happy or are they completely miserable, hurt? Are their lives in shambles? Are their lives are a mess? They have no job, they're homeless, they're in a mental hospital, they're in jail or maybe they're completely dead. Yes, observe all of these things in a person and that will tell you just how much that person has hurt the narcissist that they work with, depending on how severe these things are for them. Because if they didn't hurt the narcissist at all, then the narcissist would have completely left them alone and just forgot about them because they wouldn't have been affected. So that really reveals just how much a person has hurt the narcissist. Just look at how they're doing, look at their lives. Look at how messed up things are for them. That will tell you everything that you need to know. And yes, unfortunately, a lot of people that come to my channel and the comments, the ones that I coach, their lives are a mess. After dealing with these narcissists, because they have hurt the narcissist, they have affected them. And when you do that, the narcissist will try to affect you a million times more than you affected them because it's never enough. They have a lot of resentment, they hold a grudge, they're never happy, they're never satisfied. So it's just going to keep going and going and it's never going to stop. Not until you're dead. I mean, I'm sure even if you're homeless, even if you're in jail, in a mental hospital, they're still going to try to find some sort of way to get to you because it's never enough, they're never satisfied. I mean, no one can be, when you engage in these types of vengeful behaviors, it's so unnatural. You're not going to find love, peace, happiness or joy in doing that. That just never happens. It's not unlike this act and they exaggerate their emotions as though they're so full of joy at your expense. It's never really like that in reality. It makes them miserable as well. It haunts them. It just builds up more shame. It makes them worse. It makes them even more miserable, despite what they may show to you. And that's where they're never satisfied. That's why it never stops. Well, as for you, I mean, they could have been hurting you for years. And you just see one little thing. It could be something so small, like maybe they got rejected by the new source. And the new source wasn't even all that. But just that alone, you see that and you're satisfied. You don't need to see any more. And even if they move on and they get married, they start a new life with someone else. You're OK with that. You're not bothered. Because you've seen enough. You were satisfied just by seeing them get rejected that one time, despite all of the things they did to you all of those years. Yeah, it's so easy for us to find satisfaction because we don't really desire to hurt anyone intentionally. But it's not like that for them. They have a void inside of themselves. They're never happy. They never feel complete. So it never really gains with them. They will just keep coming after you. If you've hurt them, if you've affected them, because they're disconnected from themselves and their own emotions. They can't regulate their emotions from within. They have no internal regulator because they abandoned who they really got a long time ago. So now they need an external regulator. And that's you. That's where you come in. They expect you to do that for them because they view you as an extension of themselves. And without you, they cannot survive emotionally. It's why they have to abuse you. They have to hurt you. They can get by sometimes with the manipulation and the illusion, the love bombing. They can get by with that if you validate it and you believe in it. But at some point, even that's not going to work anymore. And you might start seeing through it. You'll realize that it's all fake and then they have to go to the devaluation. They have to hurt you. But that's really yet a lot of times is that they hurt you because they can't love bomb you anymore. You're no longer susceptible because otherwise they would just do that. It requires a lot less effort to get their supply from you in that way. When you see them devaluing and starting smear campaigns, just imagine how much effort that takes. Of course, they would rather just love bomb you. It's so much easier to just give you a few compliments here and there. It's a lot less effort for them. And I don't know about you, but I've seen it in my own experience that they do try to love bomb you first. Before they go to the devaluation. Before they go to discard you or start a smear campaign against you, find new swords and triangulate you. Almost in every situation, they do try to love bomb you first if they believe that you're going to be susceptible to it. And pretty much the only time that they don't is if they think you're not going to fall for it. So it all depends on you. They're looking at it like, if this person is going to be susceptible to it, if I can put them under a spell, I can manipulate them, I can love bomb them, just do that. Why go through all of this effort? This endless campaign for what? Just to get a bit of supply when they could have just love bombed you instead, it would have taken didn't do that because they couldn't do that because you were too wise, you were too smart. They might have gotten you for a little bit in the beginning, but after that it soon fell apart and you began to see through it. That's why it initiates the devaluation. The victim initiates the discard. The victim initiates the triangulation, the smear campaign. We initiate it all. They're with them for such a long time, maybe even their entire life. And it's because that source isn't confronting them. They're validating the illusion. They're not putting up a fight. They're not seeing through it. They're blind to it. Like I said, we initiate it. The victim always initiates it. We always have the power in any situation with a narcissist. We always do. I mean, just look at it. If you give them praise, compliments, you boost them up, they cannot resist that. And I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe from yourself in the beginning, or when they're out in public, maybe at a restaurant, they get praised, they get complimented. It doesn't matter who it's from. And they love it. They eat it up. They cannot resist it. So it's because you didn't do that. You didn't boost them up. You didn't feed their ego. You didn't validate the illusion. That's why they went to devalue you, discard you, start a smear campaign. That's why the victim always initiates it. The victim always has the power. The narcissist never has the power. We give them the power. Initially, we do it willingly. And then when we see what they're about, we realize that they're fake, all that this power is just going to avoid and it's not being reciprocated. Then we pull back. We stop giving them that power. And then they have to do it without our consent. They have to go against our will. They have to force us, coerce us. They basically have to rape us mentally, psychologically to force it out of us. Because we are the ones who have the power. They do not have any power of their own. They strip us of our power and trick us into giving it to them. If they can't trick us, they have to threaten, intimidate and coerce us. They will especially do that when they feel hurt. That is really the distinction. That's the contrast. That's the transitioning of it. From where it goes from the manipulation, the love bombing, to the devaluation, to the triangulation, the ghost in the discard, the smear campaign. What causes it to transition to that is the fact that they feel hurt. That's what causes all of it. Because then they're trying to affect you because they feel affected by you. So anytime they try to harm you or they try to do anything that has a negative impact on you, they're just constantly telling you, yes, I'm hurt. You're hurting me, that's why I have to do this to you. That's how you should see it. Anytime that they're trying to bring you down, it's because they feel hurt. They're miserable. They're not happy with themselves. They're not satisfied with their lives. That's why they have to do it. Anyway, that's it for this message, but I would like to request for those of you if this helped you, if it resonated, if you appreciate my work, and you would like to give something back and support our community, support what I'm doing here. You can make a donation and you can do it by giving a super chat on here or you can give a super thanks in the comments. You can also donate through my PayPal, which is PayPal.me. It will help so that this channel has the resources more to invest for travelling and equipment. I'm actually still using the iPhone 14. I haven't got the new one yet. But if everyone donates, let's say this video gets 5,000 views and everyone just donates even 20 pennies. That's UK currency. If everyone just donated that small amount of money, then I could use it to upgrade to the iPhone 15 and produce far better quality videos. 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I hope it brought you the support, the comfort that you needed that you were looking for and there will be a video premiere beginning in a few more hours. I will have a short video which I will be uploading soon as well so keep an eye out for that. And as always I will go live again tomorrow. So as always more videos, more content more information and more concepts and ideas that you may not have heard before as well so there's always new stuff. I hope you enjoyed this video with me today and I just like to thank you all for your support. I appreciate it. I hope you all have a great day and as always I look forward to speaking with you in another one very soon.