 Oh, we lost drinking. Oh, where did wait? Oh, he's gone. I think it was an incursion. Oh, no, no. I wonder if Michael Alden's going to remember those going full. No, he's not. No, he might remember it just like the name. So he might reference it literally. But it's something else like it won't actually have the repercussions that he wrote it to have. What did I write before? Intrusion and true. Yeah, yeah. Crusty in the crustacean crustaceans. Here it is. Crustaceans. Pretend to think you're not. Crustacean. Oh, I see. Yeah. Well, I see. Yeah. I focus on. Look at him. He's a man. He you know, look right. He's he's moderately unhinged already. Moderately unhinged. What a great way to start the scariest scene in the whole in the whole trilogy. Oh, yeah. This is the way any circus really looks like. This isn't the scariest scene because it doesn't have how Bilbo's creepy ass have a face on it in Rivendell. It is fucking. It's disturbing is how I describe this. Yes, it's it's very disturbing. Because it starts so innocently. They're just fishing, having a great day. But then unfortunately, that's a whopper. It's amazing to be like, yeah, that's Andy Circus. Andy Circus never looks like Andy Circus. No, it's interesting to think about especially because of how much we're aware now of box office openings. But I'm pretty sure this broke the record, right? Returning to the King. It was massively, massively successful. Nearly 250 million because I each went up and up and up and like Fellowship of the Ring already made a lot of money. But yeah, it just kept growing. Oh, God, the height of this was insane. Yeah, I think this was at the time of its release that beat out Phantom Menace is the second highest grossing film like of all time. Yeah. The difference is that this is a good movie. Oh, yeah. This doesn't even have Jar Jar in it. This is the prequels walks so that the sequels could get flushed out of toilet. All right. I love how they built it up. So even a ring in the mud, some grimy ass ring in the mud on this guy's hand is like, oh, that's been. And look, look at the look that comes over. Yeah, right there already. I love the soft choir in the background. Yeah, it's just like, you know, like they've used that motif multiple times in these movies and it's just like, oh, I know exactly what's about to happen. When Boromir was up on the mountains when he was staring at the ring, they played it as well. They played it when Aragorn was tempted by the ring as well. Definitely part of what makes the sequence disturbing is the music as well. Well, the shift. Yeah, yeah, there it is. This is that moment when you're joking with friends, but you're actually serious. Yeah, which I mean, it's just what an effective way of demonstrating just how toxic and corrosive the ring is. How quickly it can happen. We're out fishing and now they're fighting each other to the death. That's not a good thing. But we're still clawing for it as well. Yeah. And that was one of the scenes where they used the big ass ring. Yeah, that looked like the big one. Yeah, in the guy, yeah. On the look, dude, the look on Smegu's face when he's strangling him. Yeah, here it comes. Yeah, the reverb. Look at him. From the base on this one shook. I'll never forget it shook the theater. It was great. It's like his heartbeat. Yeah, yeah. The rest of the fucking sequence just being how the ring tears him apart. Like just like he's melting away and turning into this fucking husk. When the Reigns people saw that, they were like, I feel like putting an R on this but I have no justification to do it. I think it's just so gross. I've tried so many people from watching this film. How could you? We forgot the taste of bread. But also, when we talked about how Andy Serkis, he's the kind of actor who no ego allows himself to be totally absorbed in the role. The eyes. Look at that. That's insane. Excellent work. 20 years ago. That looks so good. Exactly 20 fucking years ago. There are some things you need to touch up on these movies if you're going to do it. But man, it is interesting to see how over the course of the films, they start to use more and more and more visual effects. Fellowship is a lot more restrained than, you know, towards the end of Return of the King. We've got massive CG spectacles. So I think part of it is because the story is just getting grander. We have a lot bigger armies and stuff. It makes sense that there's that. And it would also be just the development of the technology as well. Because obviously the film shot back to back, but you're releasing them sequentially. It just gives you more time. And you have a plan. So you know by the time you get to Return of the King, you're going to have to, you know. Around this time for films, it would be common like 200 visual effects shots, but this film had about 1,500. Wait till the heirs of the Tolkien estate, you know, one more generation down, sell the rights and they remake it. This will be the first trilogy. Well, consider to give some optimism to that, right? Look at Rings of Power. Nobody fucking even considers that to be like Lord of the Rings. How far did we go? Seven minutes and 40 seconds before Rings of Power got brought up, there you go, not bad. Well, no, but in a good way, right? Rings of Power kind of showed that if you do a bad job and if you do all the wrong things, people just laugh at you and you're going to fade into obscurity and you're not even considered to be close to this. Had it been released even as is like 15, 10, 15 years ago, it wouldn't go in a near as much of a response because of the fact that we've experienced this with so many other things. It was like, nah. I think that what's happened is that over the last like 10 years, maybe really accelerated over the last five years just because you have the license doesn't really give you anything anymore. If anything, it makes people skeptical. Yeah, yeah, we transitioned from being excited to see new things for an IP to actually dreading it for no matter the IP now. When they were first talking about like getting the remaster and I think me and Garrett talking about like, please just don't fucking touch anything. And now it's like, don't fucking go near it. Don't even don't even look at it. Don't even touch it. Don't even speak its name. Yeah, because you're waiting for the one to say there is that one scene we're going to take out because it's a... And also we added up. Yeah, there's we didn't have a female character. So we made one up and we CGI them in with Frodo and Sam here. And that's almost like a George Lucas level, but without it not being goopy aliens. It's just women. This is loads of women. I like how you thought George Lucas. I was thinking Kung Pao and how that. Oh, so good. Hey, was he? I don't know. What did they do? They just kind of like spliced him into like three older movies that no one liked. I'll take a pound of nuts. That's a lot of nuts. My God, did they make a great film? At least I have you, boy. That was one of the funniest fucking movies I've ever seen. Do you understand? No. Well, if Disney gets a hold of the remake, it'll be the first trilogy or it'll be the first film project to cost a trillion dollars. Yeah, I'm kind of. What a perfect spooky forest. They would put everything they have left on it that it makes like one dollar. Ass. Oh, it's a big pool party. This this this this we're about to get such a great scene and it was taken away from us originally. That is unbelievable. I was actually unbelievable. Cruel, cruel and unusual. Because on the one hand, I understand that presenting a four hour film theatrical. Wow. Presenting a four hour film theatrically. There's a wizard to manage here. Locked in his tower. And there's Sadamon must remain. I get it. But like, why would you? Why? I still remember it was because it frustrated me so much. The theatrical vision. Pretty sure they have this conversation under your God. There's no power anymore. The filth of Saruman. And then it cuts hard to tribute saying the filth of Saruman is washing away. It like, which is at the end of the big Saruman scene. And I remember seeing the extended being like, What the fuck did you do? Why? Why did what is him included? Did he turn into like mist or something? Or did he burn in the sunlight? Like what happened? You, you rascals. American, you've led us on and now we finger. And then, you know, finding out that Christopher Lee didn't know that that was the case until he saw it in the cinemas as well, which sucks. That does suck. That would have been really shit for him to say that. Well, it was the core of what damaged their relationship as well, right? I mean, I understand that like being a part of Lord of the Rings, but then the ending for your character is cut out. This oldie book is particularly good. Oldie book. Movie making. It's magic. Yeah, yeah, this and it takes away. They had in one of his so good for so many characters. Be careful. Even a defeat. Saruman is dangerous in the book. It's it's Grima Wormtongue's resolution too. Yep. That big what if of what if Grima didn't die? There are. What is his redemption? Arklik like you have fought many wars and slaying many men failed in King and made peace after. There are what I would call good scenes that I would remove before this one. Mm hmm. Yes, this one is. This was the biggest. This was the worst decision like this was the worst one in terms of a scene to remove. I may not take council together as we once did. Imagine cutting out anything that has Chris fully in it. He looks all haggardly and a weaker now. We shall have peace when you answer for the burning of the West. Well, he's so fucking pissed and bitter about like stupid Gandalf like fucking replaced. When you hang from it, we shall have peace. Jimmits and crows doubt. Jibbit got what do you want? Gandalf. Gray. Hey, I was fucking shot. Look at that. Oh, cool. Perhaps the keys of Baradur itself along with the crowns of the seven Kings and the rods of the five Wizards. He's talking about the rods of the five Wizards. Yeah. I was like, OK, stop fucking around. It's not late. Come on. So you have come here for information. Oh, yeah. Because the Palantia doesn't really have a cause and effect line as well in the theatrical version because you're like, oh, it's just there. It's just all because he picks it up from the sort of habit. Yeah. He just picks it up. Yeah. He did. It's just in the water. Something festers in the heart of Middle Earth, something that you have failed to see. They must know when they're cutting it. It's weird that it's in the water. If it was in his study, you know, like, why would that be in the water? Even now he presses his advantage. He's got a such a great staff too. The staff is like the tower and it's got the orb on the top. Oh, it's so great. You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor. Yeah, it's really cool. They're sort of the common themes in a lot of the like aligned architecture and equipment. Yeah. So they put a lot of effort into this exile crept from the shadows will never be crowned king. I love the dressing down of like everybody's fucking go around all of them. Get Gimli. Huh? What words of comfort did you give the half before you sent him to his dome? What would he say about Gimli? Gimli. Gimli. Gimli. You fat, short, useless piece of shit. You short fuck. Shoot him. Stick an arrow in his gulp. No. Stick an arrow in his gulp. Save your pity and your mercy. I have no use for it. Hey. Oh, you're a fireball. Oh, God. Shit. Oh, the end of all is dead. No. Saruman. Your staff is broken. Oh, shit. Gotcha. What a Chad. There he is. What a Chad move. Yeah. Rima. You need not follow him. You will once a man of Rohan. Dude, the fact that theater is immediately like. Come and join us. Yeah, please like, you know, see the fucking light, bro. What is the house of Rohan? But a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek. And their brats roll on the floor with the dogs. Oh. Theodon, horse master, and a lesser son of greater science. Damn, hitting him right in the insecurities. Mm-hmm. And he ignores him. You withdraw your guard and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. I like how in interview with Christopher Lee when he was talking about this scene, he described that as saying very rude things to all the other characters. I mean, they are a funny way of describing it. Kind of feel bad, but also that reaction. It's a bit of a, yeah, you know, stabbing the guy in the back shot. Jesus. I wonder which of Christopher Lee's stabbing victims he was thinking about when he was acting out, getting stabbed. Yeah. This is the thing about Lord the Rings. Everyone's talked about all of a lot of trivia to do with it, that it gets almost repelled to repeat them. When everyone's like, I already know this one, but I was just thinking about what everyone probably does know. The way they staked Christopher Lee on a wooden wheel there was deliberate. Yeah. That's just fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, this, this is where it starts in the theatrical. It's like, you motherfucker. It's unbelievable. It is unbelievable how much you lose in that short seed. Why? Pippin, well, what's interesting, this follows in, of course, Pippin kind of goes and gets it. He's sort of impulsive. He's a little bit foolish and impulsive. He just goes and gets it. Which, you know, the little things consistently throughout a story that build, you know, the picture of a complete character. Like that little thing that you would overlook. Yeah. Remember this element of Pippin, it will literally become a part of, you know, his character later again. Yep. You see that look of like, of course you would fuck around with this and then Pippin's like, didn't this win? All of its nominations? I think it might have gotten the most wins out of like any film at the Academy Awards. 12, I believe. Good. That is correct. No acting. Yeah, it is. That would be a crime. Yeah. And it's so different than Gondor will only get there. There's just such a complete and total difference. The long houses and the wooden aesthetic and that Norsey kind of look, it's just so different from. Oh, and you can see the color. Yeah, it's just vibrant. Like you want to be here. That's the place you want to be because remember in two towers how grim and miserable it was. Yeah. Tonight, we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. But it looks like they haven't. Yeah, I'm going to go to this. Yeah. So return of the King is tied with Ben Hur and Titanic for the most Academy Award wins with 11. Not bad. And I want everything that it was nominated for to make it go. Hail the victorious dad. This is how we can chill out for a little bit moment because two towers was tough. Okay. Yeah, we did just get off of like, oh, you got to assemble everyone. He's coming. We got to do some stuff in the Palantir. That's spooky. So we kind of kind of get our little buddy balance our little ups and downs of tension and release. So it's a drinking balance in a four hour movie. That's a tough thing. It is tough. Because the only other example we have is Zach Snyder doing the horrendously awful. No, what are you saying? Perhaps the most well balanced film ever made. Not a not a second wasted, not a frame wasted in that. That was one of the most fascinating experiences to compare the footage differences in the cut versus his own and how much he added into scenes that were just, you know, establishing shots. We needed to know they walked up all of those stairs or else. How would we have known how they got to the top of the stairs when they were at the bottom? See, we needed to see that extra 25% of empty space above all of the characters heads in every scene. Except for the one that was reshot. Yes. It was not Thayden of Rohan who led our people to victory. Ahsoka had to show us getting ownership. That's true. Ahsoka is a great example of wasted time. Daring at each other. Yes. And ironically, the prequels to these movies technically, the Hobbit movies are the most time wasted trilogy ever put to film. Depends on your definition of time wasting. One might say the sequels would be the biggest waste of time for anybody ever. Game over. Oh, the Hobbit kicked my hand. I'll never wash it again. Man, you're not working on it to make sure. Yeah. Yeah, that was awesome. So I mean, like, it's so funny. You watch Lord of the Rings. You think it's amazing. And then you go forward however many decades and watch some new stuff where there's just zero subtlety. And this will be like, are you just picking on it because it's new? It's like, no, you go to this old stuff. You're like, look, they have many moments in these films where they don't tell you what's going on. They show. I don't know what to tell you, but the late 90s early 2000s, there's a lot of good stuff was happening at that time. That's a fun year for media. What does your heart tell you? Kind of like a transition era, trying a lot of new things. Synthesize new things from the greatest trilogy ever made to everything else that happened everywhere. That's pretty much it. They should have just packed it up. Well, they made this film. They're like, all right, we did it, everyone. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we solved cinema. It's not that cinema is kill cinema is salvation. It's redeemed. It's sailing across the ocean. Okay, you waited. The new timeline is a B L O T R and a L O T R for and after that's it. Listen, if we're going to talk about our plans to kill the baby move a little further away. You know, he was alone for a long time. So he probably just thinks they can't hear him. Oh, I think you get away with a lot of stuff because he's fucking mental. Like he's gollum is not a altogether. You know, you might, you might have described it. Just needs a self help book. All right, how to win friends and influence people. It was just, it was rough in all our skillier for him. And he's, uh, he's been betrayed one too many times. How to win fish and influence hobbits. It's weird when you whisper that to us all the time. Like before, right before we start an eFap and you whisper that freeing it. We've been meaning to say that it's really creepy when you do that. I was just going to talk about how I really like the filmmaking that's on display here in terms of drawing a divide between the two personalities. Well, they did it excellently in new towers and now this being the reflection in the water is particularly better saying. Yeah. Well, he's just not moving as much as more is it? Oh, I remember this was fun for me because a friend of mine who was super into the books, he was telling me like before this film came out, he was like, I hope I can't wait to see she lob and I was like, what's that? I remember describing it to me. I was like, holy fuck. Considering the face to us like giant spider that knowing all of that that having Gallop describing her and she I was like, oh, shit. Yep. That's an incriminating line. If only Sam had a recording device. Yep. I always love that reaction. Literally how people behave when they realize their heads. And they're like, oh, fuck, I'm bleeding. It's like I was already bad. Now I'm like really bad. I won't wait around for him to kill us. I'm not sending him away. It's so nice to know that by the end of this same as completely vilified. Do you mean? Or sorry, not. He's complete. What's vindicated? Indicated. It was such a weird fucking statement for a second. Indicated, not vilified. It was like rags on Gollum's team. Team Gollum. Team Gollum. Get him the ring. Look at the poor guy. It wasn't that Gimli was trying to get them killed. It was that Sam was trying to get them killed. I wonder Gimli was thrilled. It's like, well, at least Sam's dead. It wouldn't know how vilified he is. Did you see that criticism? By the way, Gary at any point that someone said these films are really cheesy with dialogue like he's a villain. It was a criticism that it was super like childish or something or like without realizing that that's like dialogue accurate, so to speak. Yes, dialogue accurate from a linguist. Yeah, like it's the kind of shit we're just like, man, you know the Lord of Rings is good when that's what you got, you know? Yeah, but you don't like that he said he's a villain when that's accurate. Yeah, like it's absolutely accurate. I dreamed I saw a great wave climbing over Greenlands and above the hills. Oh, just like rings of power. Yeah. Now you may write something stares in the east. A sleepless. The post-credits scene of the Saruman commentary, figuring out how to balance. Fucking swallow your food before you speak cunt. I'm sorry. That's permanent. Stop talking until you fucking swallow. Lord of Rings as a trilogy is the most nominated film franchise for Academy Awards. It's surpassed Godfather and Star Wars, which had 29 and 21 as a total franchise. You mean so well as a trilogy specifically. Yeah, I guess I can't believe that. It just it would make sense that it would come close to them. Well, it's uh, yeah. I had a buddy who slept with his eyes open. It's fucking terrifying. Totally. We thought he was dead multiple times. We're like, he's definitely dead this time. If they sleep with their eyes open, how do their eyes get moist? I guess it's because the room isn't dry enough or hot enough or whatever to dry out the ice. So I think it's just it's pipping sweat. Probably just keeps his sweat works into his open eyes. It just keeps the room moist. That makes more sense than what I said. What really happens is they open and close their eyes. Yeah. This is such a mode of sorrow. It's like, who are you? What is it? Who the fuck? No, are you that? Are you someone's kid? Where's Saruman? What did you do to him? Is he safe? Is he all right? It's like an open line back in the day. He's like, hang up the phone. I'm still on it. Gandalf should have put it in a chest, huh? Yeah, it kind of just doesn't really solve the problem, does it? No. Almost looks like as well as he dropped it. He was trying to hold on to it, too. I think he cares about him. He's partially responsible for him, if not fully, and fucking hates him sometimes. But he holds it. He says, well, you fucked up. Now we've got to have to do some things. What happened to everyone? First time they went to rotten.com. I don't even know which one that is. Suck out, guy myself. And plenty of scary websites in my time. Are y'all too young to remember rotten.com? You know, us youngsters, we had our own versions. Oh, you probably had math games.com. So this would be interpretable as he did actually see into Sauron's plan all that Sauron was happy for him to see this as like a threat or maybe a instill a bit of fear. I think that there's a little bit of openness to the communication that kind of leaves it a little bit. Yeah. It's hard to know. Because when Sauron was using it, he was obviously more adept at it. He wasn't even touching it when he used it. His hand was over the top of it and he was doing his spooky wizard fingers, you know, stuff. And this is far more uncontrolled and a bit wild. There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool, but an honest fool, he remains. Gee, thanks. I don't know, he's getting a lightly compared. Yeah. Yeah. Pippin saw in the Palantia a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Look at those God rays. Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? No, Theodon. It's okay. They were just shitty. You must come to Ministereth by the other road. You're going to fetch us some Skelloman ghosts. Well, yeah, he'll be doing that and the corsets, right? All the Inquisitive Hobbits, Hedadrin took. You are the worst. Honey, honey. It is interesting to think about like how to, you know, now that the fellowship has been split apart, how do we make sure that everybody's got enough to do for long enough to give us a lot of balance and scope for the story? Yeah, you won. Compared to how much or focused the scope of fellowship is. What character and agency are the lot of them? Yeah. And figuring out like the right pairings and how to make those pairings interesting as well. Like Gandalf and Pippin. It's an interesting, interesting combo. Yeah, and then Mary and Aon, right? Like connecting over there. Yeah. Both not being taken seriously. You know, now we know. Soren thinks that Pippin has the ring. Mary had to tell him this to kind of snap him into like, no, this is what's happening. You need to like take this seriously. It doesn't feel forced. It doesn't feel like it's just expository dialogue. Here. Something for the road. Last of the loan button. You spoke too much. And he's telling him because he cares about him. Yep. Yeah, well, this realization, they might not see each other again. See each other soon. Because yeah, they've almost had it a little too chill for too long, those two. Yep. Well, these two are now getting thrust very quickly. It's like, all right, time for your arms. They're not together anymore. They're for the first time. I've got a great way to force that growth when they're both apart. First time ever for them. Wow, right through that. Wow. Wow. Wow. Right through that. Okay, fine. Fine. Fine. Straight line. It's fine. What? Like, we could hardly see his face. But Gandalf's pissed off because his clock is getting wet. Is that what he says? You said show us the meaning of hate. He did say that. Yeah. One thing I've learned about hobbits. They're most hardy folk. Full hardy, maybe. Just an evening stroll through the woods as elves do. Is this on look like evening? Looks way too bright. Rags is playing the insane elf. I love the woods. The elf that's just running around in the background donning back and forth between the trees. Oh, fun. I'm sure they love leaves. Oh, trees. Look, horsey. No. Are you all tired? Mine would be. Welcome to EFAM, the Lord of the Rings, or two of the King. This is where South Park parody. And you'd like the guy just off the center being like, you had it all and you blew it to Arwen. The kid has the most disturbingly intense stares I've ever seen on a human being. Well, if I was an apparition staring at my mom, that I would require it to do a thing so that I would exist. I'd be pretty intense too. Yeah, you give her a stare. There's nothing for you here. Only death. Elrond did a lie. My lady. Please, no. That guy is so confused, though. He's like, am I supposed to do anything about this? I didn't see any of your vision, lady. All right. I don't know what's going on in your head. Oh, so beautiful. It's like a painting comes alive. What did you see? I saw death. There is also life. Oh, is he doing an Obi-Wan? He's like, so what I told you is true from a certain point of view. He gets his little action scene in the Hobbit films as well, doesn't he? Oh, boy, he does. Fucks are stupid. Oh, yeah. Fuck literature. Yeah. I had a feeling that was the agenda of this film. I was trying to tell us books suck. Film is cool now. Can you please stop littering? We've been meaning to tell you it's beginning to be a problem. Add enough raking up the leaves around this place. And now that the population of Rivendell is walking to a different place, we don't have anyone to clean up all the shit. There's still the blacksmiths, guys. They're going to reinforce the story. Yeah. And they probably have maybe, I don't know, like people. They were going to leave. And then Elrond is like, wait, wait, wait, wait. We might make that. So I haven't decided yet. So well, they got the Rivendell Home Depot. They can go to the Rivendell Home Depot. Yes. I hope that's just Elrond wearing a Home Depot vest. That'd be a great, great little role to have. I was like, oh, you were in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Who are you? I was just on in part, but I'm one of the elves who, you know, reforged the, you know, Andriel Flame of the West. You know, it's pretty no big deal. You know, we just, you know, me and my friend did it. Yeah. And the guy's like, did you get to keep the sword? It's like, I'm still cool even if I didn't get to give it to Aragorn so that he could free the people in the middle earth. Man, it's so awesome. So good city. That's a cool idea. What a cool idea of this layered city against the mountain. Remember the special edition DVDs they sold where you got like a golem statue and then you got the minister it opens up and you can like store things in it. It's really cool. Back when they did fun stuff. A perfect place to keep your long bottom leaf. Yes. Yeah. You could stash your weed. Leafhap does not condone the use of long bottom leaf. I fully condone the use of long bottom leaf. Damn. I'm all about that salted pork. Short bottom, mid bottom and long bottom are all approved. I like round bottom myself. It does feel like a subtle thing that bottom the sets themselves being very disparate to give a sense of place. But even like the has been talked about the lighting compared to like how bright it is is a distinctly bright area. These guys look like they could repel what was sent to Helms Deep with a lot more ease than Rohan could. But then again, you see what these guys have to deal with from Sauron. You're like, oh, shit, especially with the Nazgul. It's been constant all the time to also some blackpilled leader. And then, you know, Rohan horse lords and all that. They've got that open ground to just. There are a few quite as fuck. Yeah. Moments is when Dana Thor is fucking depressing his whole army and Gandalf hits him in the face. Like it's yeah. You know, bounce off of your comment about the how bright and kind of colorful everything is frayed. Like compare that to like every fucking fantasy show or movie that's come out lately where it's just all washed out and gritty. Yeah. Thinking about because medieval times were shitty and awful and no one liked color or things to look nice and they all just wore shitty brown rags. Rags. Perhaps you come to tell me why my son is dead. It's it's the attempts that they make to make sure that the world doesn't feel homogenous that there's a distinct identity to each of the locations. Well, yeah, look at this palace compared to Eteras. It's completely different. Yeah, the stone. Oh, don't do this to me. No, I was just starting to get over it. No, I'll never get over it. Drag me right back in. He failed defending us from many foes. Just that little quick shot where you kneel before Gandalf. It looks so good. It's all very important to maintain the fantasy of it. Is that impulsive pippin? But who feels honor for him? Very, very, very interesting as a choice that you would make instantly. The mightiest man may be slain by one arrow. Boromir was pierced by many. As steward, you are charged with the defense of this city. Where are Gondor's armies? Where would be Gondor's armies? They might be fighting all over Gondor. I don't know. I doubt this is completely purely localized. Yeah, it might be that element. Yeah, everyone's just kind of trying to do their best. It's like we saw in two towers, you know, it's not just Eteras. It's all those places everywhere. And even when the Corsairs arrive later, there is like port towns all over the place. That is one thing that this movie doesn't do as well as I would have liked it to where like everything around Minas Tirith is supposed to be like farmland, little villages that I don't know about. It's like Eteras 2. You see that a lot in movies where it's just the castle and everything outside the castle is just emptying to nothing when it should be full of buildings and farmland and roads and stuff like that. There are some roads going out from Minas Tirith. It's just that it's not as like detailed as it should Yeah, you would imagine it would be, you know, far more, you know. Asolity is not given to you to deny the return of the king. Steward. All of Condor is mine! Then how come you sit in the little chair? Well, the little chair is going to be the big chair if nobody ever sits in the big chair. All right, Pippin, hope you feel good about that pledge. All has turned to vain ambition. He would even use his grief as a cloak. Even unlike all the statues, I've always fucking loved these helmets that all these royal guards have up here. The spears, the way they look. It's so good. They look so cool. You don't want to fuck with them. Yeah, they look like the, you know, if you're playing a video game, these are these are definitely a step up from your regular side. Yeah, this is what you get to level 80 and you can start working towards this armor and that kind of thing. Yeah, this armor was high stats for a Barathorn Third Age. What were they called in Halo 2? Fringy, the the Royal Guard Elite? Oh, I know that name, but I don't remember it right now. Yeah. And then they were the birds. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Forget the name. They were like the Vanguard basically for the High Council. You have to fight a bunch of them to get to the Prophet. Yeah, that's right. God, imagine that just as you always. It's got to be so oppressive. Yeah, it keeps you goal oriented. But I mean, it, you know, it's because it's the tip of the spear, isn't it? I know, yeah. It's quite a contrast, you know, especially for the audience. That's Mordor, and this is the nice place. Yeah, like beautiful, bright, majestic Minas Tirith cast against the Grim miserable Gondor, not Gondor, but Mordor. I mean, maybe the mood is a bit grim. Yeah, but, you know, when the shadow of Mordor reaches this city, it will begin. That's a game. It is. That's a game that you've not the biggest fan of. Well, I like the gameplay a lot. I just think it has like one of the worst stories I've ever seen Yeah, but yes, it does have fun gameplay. Fun gameplay that they decided to make sure that no one else could ever replicate. Must be getting your tea time. This way it would be in decent places. We're not in decent places. We're not in decent places. I don't think I'll be coming back. In a way, you will not. We're going there and back again, just like Mr. Bilbo. You'll see. But I mean, yeah, it's a nice reassurance, but I mean, you know, Frodo's right. It's just a lot going on. And it's like layer one is, you know, just a general worry. It's like, really? That layer two is like, he did. Yeah, of course, the lay down is sure you can physically come back. You can go back to the Shire physically after surviving your journey, but the journey exacts a toll and is something that I think a lot of people even who love these films didn't quite understand fully of what was being said with that. Well, I feel like it's a super important part of the story. The idea that, you know, the quest costs him something. Nice porch. So that's a balcony. There's a porch need to be on ground level. I've always understood a porch to be on. Never anyone described a porch above ground level. You're in the service of the steward now. You'll have to do as you're told. Is the steward the person who makes all the stew? I don't think so. That's it. No? Okay. Ridiculous Hobbit. Ridiculous Hobbit. Then he was, he should have made sure of that before he pledged to surface. Gandalf is particularly cranky, isn't he? This is funny. Understandably, but you know. God, it looks so good. It does. See, Krabby, too, if you're this powerful angelic being trapped in the body of an old man. I thought you were going to say it was powerful angelic being trapped with this fucking idiot Hobbit. It's so quiet. It's the deep breath before the plum. I wonder if Gandalf's looking at him ever now and again thinking, you got me killed. You sort of led up to a serious event. Yeah, by the way, we haven't spoken yet about what happened in the Microsoft work. It did work out in the end, but that's no excuse. You know, we're at a pretty high place now. Would you like to feel what I felt? You know, it's like to fall for seven years. There never was much hope. Fool's hope. Through fire and water. Here we go. We went through the craziest swimming pool ever. If the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defense of this city will be gone. You can't feel anything but bad for the people of Osgiliath. That shit is so difficult, especially because we've already seen that, you know, scene of them taking it back. So, you know, they've been fighting for a long time. We have the white wizard has got to count for something. I mean, it's what sets up, you know, why Boromir wants the ring is like we've been fighting for ages. This is what we do all the time. We do it so you don't have to. Saran has yet to reveal his deadliest son, the one who will lead Mordozami's in war. That's a point of contention, right? Saying that we he's yet to reveal the witch king, even though we've met the witch king already. I guess reveal it wasn't revealed in the field of battle. It was a secret kind of. I guess you could also argue like he hasn't really gone like fall witch king, I guess. Yeah, I would word it differently because the line that he's yet to reveal him. You've met him before. I guess because it was it was a more covert weather top kind of thing. Yeah, instead of like here he is. Look, he's flying around on his on his spooky serpent and he's maybe it would be better to say something along the lines of like he's yet to reveal his full power or something, which is true in the context of the movies. It's just that line is kind of clunky. I love the sort of tints of color difference with Minas Mogul. I'm going to say something a little controversial. I think we need more gargoyles in media. Yes. Yes, we do. Now, why would you let me ask you this? Do you mean like specifically gargoyles like that? That our water spouts are just generally spooky statues on stone buildings. Generally spooky statues on stone buildings. You know, I'm for it. I'm for it. Yep. There's more statues period. We need more statues of great people. Great people like goggles shaped like people. Look at the fucking place. So cool. Guys, I'm going to go get an apartment. This is this when Sauron showed the Witch King this, he's like, this is your house. He was like, oh, yes, you do. Like, how did you know this is me? The green accent lighting just makes it. It just feels sickly. Yeah. Dead. And like it's the it's a very specific kind of green because green often represents life. Check. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, they're there are definitely good and bad grains. This is an ominous green. The sky beam before all sky beams. Yeah. Because I feel like Iron Man was the, uh, yeah. Iron Man feels like it was kind of. Well, I don't know who did it first for superheroes, but it became a thing for all superhero movies to have sky beams. It got weird. Oh, shit, guys. Yeah. And this is a helpful thing to communicate sort of like the passage of time and making sure that everybody understands. Yeah, we're lined up here. You might not have thought that, but we're we're aligned. One of my favorite musical moments for you. Oh, shit. He just coming everywhere. This is this is like your fantasy in the best way possible. Yep. Look about fucking rule of cool. The witch king is just doesn't get cooler than that. Oh, yeah. All right, guys, we're just going to the come and go to pick up some gummies and top off the Ford. It's a real blink and you miss it thing, but I like how the green of the city is kind of like reflecting in the water over the or under that bridge. Yeah. It's just it has like a ghostly feel to it. I fucking love it. There's so many beautiful vistas even when obviously it's very impressive and scary. Now time for the incredibly safe staircase. Just showing how black their feet are, how long they've been on this journey and how arduous and difficult it's been. Hey, this boy savage to be like, I heard what you said. I'm going to kill you. You listen good and proper. Anything happens to him. You have me down to do. I would be so tempted for Sam during all of this to just grab him and throw him off the fucking mountain. Oh, look, he slipped. That's horrible. Anyway, same as just such a fucking good person. Just such a friend is like, listen, I know I said it before and I'll say it again. You're a villain. That's a scheming expression. That is a schema. He's a he's a villain. It was established. The stairs are a villain. There's our villain. You know, I think that would say yes. You know, for a fucking fact, by the way, if people were caught here again, I would have been like, I have no idea what he was doing. I'm not related to this guy. Well, what is he doing? Is that a is that a midget over there? Oh my goodness. He's definitely not associated with me. You're not affiliated with me. I wish they didn't use torches on these boats. Yeah, it does bug me a little bit that they'd have those especially for this stealth. This is like all it takes is one guy looking to be like, why are there like 18 churches over there? Yeah, but maybe it's like in Splinter. So they're like Splinter. So torches where when they're glowing, it means you're especially invisible. Oh, yeah. The lights on his. Yeah. His NVG is the icon of the series that betrays the entire movie. Funny. I like there is like an eye. It really is an iconic look, though. The more you are, the more the NVG's glow. It is funny. It's like, yeah, we got him. So no, it's like everyone saw that. Gothmog is like, how did they spot us? Turns around. It's like, you're all got the fucking torches on. What the fuck? Light them after stupid. We better win this. Didn't the actor who played alerts also play Gothmog and like one other orc? I don't know. He played Witch King as well. Put out a torches now. Well, now it doesn't fucking matter. Might as well keep him on. This is called a reverse ambush. Pretty much I'm familiar with some of these scenes because I saw them so many times in the games afterward. They'll play these clips and they'll be like, now you get to be a part of it. Well, yeah, that was what they did a lot with the movie licensed games back in the day. It's like, oh, movie. All right. And then cut to gameplay. All right. Back to movie. The Lord of the Rings ones, they would create the in-game versions of all of this and sink them. It's kind of like crazy to think about. Yeah. Like an odd amount of hard work going. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely of a time gone by. We are. We do that no more. Which I guess makes sense because of the whole you stand to spoil your movie, especially if the game gets released ahead of time, which it often does. I mean, I assume it stopped as well because it just wasn't profitable enough. Yeah. I mean, they had a reputation, didn't they? Which is unfortunate because it's like, there shouldn't be anything stopping you from making a really fun, awesome game. You keep making shitty ones. I say that as if the fucking Marvel's the Marvel Avengers into 20 thing was any like better or something. It's like, no. I did it. Yeah. I did it. I did the thing. Now what? Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, fuck. It's so funny. Just like, oh, shit. Like fire. I freaking love this scene. Oh, shit. Oh, no. The big ones are lit. We call for aid. That's nice to have a little house up there. Music here. Yeah. They try to show the really cozy gig. Across. You and a bro just hanging out all day up there. Just waiting to light those beacons. You and a bro. You and a bro, a brother of Gondor, a brave soldier ready to defend his kingdom against the evils of Mordor. Fucking shot of dead of all you. Oh, those beacons. Call for help. I don't want no help. We could die on our own. Yeah, I think all of these were CG except one that got helicoptered in. I wonder if it's that one. I think it's this one. This one. Yeah, you can tell that one's CGI fire, but they built. It looks like they built an actual. It looks like it's real in their death. Yeah, and it is so fascinating to think about how little was like New Zealand as a country. Yeah, we were able to do it. It's been years. We did. It's got to be one of the most exciting things of your life if you're one of those dudes stationed there. Yeah, yeah. Finally, like, you know, we did it and then it's working into the next one goes to the next one. There's that must be thrilling. It's like the best of your life. You go home and you're excitedly tell your wife like, I finally got to light the fire. And then your wife's like, I know that means we're being invaded. It's not good, Derek. Well, it was it was really exciting. You should have been there. We watched that thing every fucking day for like six months on our ships. God, these are real mountains. Yeah, it's it's absolutely captured pure epicness, especially the movie. Yeah, yeah. Oh, just seen and based on real fleams, Byzantine Empire used them. It like just it was faster for, you know, setting messages through something like that that obviously awesome writer sort of thing. Interesting to think about all of those technical limitations back in the day. We're like reliance on Doves as well to communicate. And Rohan will answer. Yeah. Muster the Rohirrim. That's like that's like an Avengers assemble kind of line, like muster the Rohirrim. It's what you want. Whatever it wants. I love what they muster. And who's going to do it now? Who's going to do it now in Avengers? The Kang Dynasty written by Michael Waldron. Simple the army at Dunham. As many men as can be found. It's out of so many times, but Faden is so awesome. I love Faden. We ride for gondola and war. Oh, that armor, it's looks so fucking good. I have a replica of that helmet. It's unbelievable. I don't know what it, because I was thinking about you mentioned before, right? Like sort of the look of especially recent fantasy, like really bad fantasy shows and that sort of power, man, infamously bad, infamously bad armor. It looks so shit. It was a joke. It's so interesting because Lord of the Rings feels like essentially what people think of when they think of fantasy and yet it still managed to retain a very distinctive identity even in the face of a lot of other fantasy movie. Had like there been fantasy movies or been good ones, but it really hadn't pulled. No fantasy movie had pulled off mass appeal. Like I would argue part of the problem possibly is the Lord of Rings made it feel like it was too easy or something. Like do we need to care about any of this shit? We just get the people to do the things and whatever and it's like, no, you don't understand so much fucking work into this. I offer you my service. They are the king. And gladly I accept it. This isn't a fantasy. This is history. We're going to treat this like we're making a history. Yeah, let's squire. Yeah, maybe maybe like the mistaken belief that this was a sure thing that like the Lord of the Rings being both really great and really successful was a sure thing rather than the product of a lot of hard work and a risk. Even though, you know, Lord of the Rings is incredibly well known even before the films came out. We have to concede there's lightning in a bottle of like the right creators and the right people in the right time in the right place. A lot of the greatest films of all time will have production stories that are like everything is done by the skin of their teeth and the right people were known at the right time. People were free to do a thing when otherwise we're in that it was almost like miraculous and it came together at the end that for a long time they weren't sure if what they were making was great. Yeah, I think Scarlett Johansson said that she thought Avengers is going to be silly until they did the Avengers shot and she was like, oh shit, this is going to be huge. Music. Oh, let's go over to a gondola side of things. Not going to all night this morning. Now again, those fucking prosthetics look fantastic. Sounds great. And just the all of the orcs look different as well. They don't look the same. They all have different facial structures, marts and whatnot. But yes, this feels like dragging us back down after we got uplifted there for a while. It was a reminder of why we need Rohan now. We can't hold them. The city is lost. You fucking imagine the audacity to try and remake these someday. They will though. So rude to even think. Oh shit. I'm just going to let you guys know that if these movies are ever going to be remade, you're going to find in the news that I became a terrorist. Cinematic terrorists. They must be good. No, they won't. I don't feel like I don't feel like we'd be at the time without twice with the Lord the Rings trilogy. Yeah. It's going to be a willingness to actually have respect for Tolkien, which nobody in Hollywood has. Well, to be fair, his work just doesn't work for a modern audience. No, it doesn't. Nobody really watches Lord the Rings these days. The age of men is over. It's apparently the inspiration for Gothmog's look was after the Elephant Man. This is so fucked up if you were one of those guys. You're like, you serious? We're just trying to leave. You want it already, jeez. I saw a fucking like four-chad meme that was like Mithrandi, a greatest wizard of like all of time, finally arrives in a battlefield. He just turns on a big flashlight. Why is he like this? Yeah, that contrast is my eyes. It's on my eyes. Well, you definitely know that those nars go like a fucking wizard, man. Let us we were being decks though, but like, just still to them, they were crushing croc croc croc roaches. Yeah, croc roaches crocs. Croc roaches croc roaches. Cockroaches. Anybody who wears them is worse than a cockroach. Remember an idiocracy? That's what everyone wears. Yes. I need to re-watch that film, more time goes on the more it becomes documentary, like... It holds up really well. Jesus, the Lord Denethor predicted it! Long has he foreseen this doom! Ugh. Fucking hate that guy for saying that. Denethor's been telling him Kathleen Kennedy was gonna get fired over and over again. This is not the first halfling to have crossed your paths. You've seen through it, don't you, Sam? Aw, the fucking... the hope with Gandalf at this point. Not two days ago. Gandalf. And then describing where they're heading. They're taking the road to the Mogul bale. And then the pass of Kirith Ungal. Kirith Ungal, where Sam kills canonically like a thousand orcs. Falcon had to de-power Sam a little bit. He had to do it. It seems like you sent the Ring of Power into Mordor in the hands of a witless halfling! I probably wouldn't have mentioned that. It would have been like... I didn't go across any ring, would he be? You should have been brought back to the Citadel, not to be used. Yeah, right. Yeah, if you say so. It would have been funny to see... Let me tell you what they said happened to Boromir. Baramir would have remembered his father's need. Boromir would not have brought the Ring. It would have been funny to see the Denithal vision of Gollum. I can see rapidly like deteriorating. No, no, he's already ugly enough. I don't need to see a Gollum version of Denithor. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing and taking it he would have fallen. You know nothing of this matter! He would have kept it for his own! Man, Sam telling him that really got to him, huh? But what happened with Boromir, I mean? It was loyal to me! Not some wizard pupil! Not a wasted performance though, huh? No, there's so many micro expressions there. No, I'd imagine looking down at... Here's the thing, don't. The fact that the obby is still coming out as well. Yeah, it's always been a great detail. There's so many orcs. Imagine making that stairway. Chiseling at it every day. Makes you wonder, like, what kind of a city is it? They're packed in there like a clown car. Jesus Christ. It's a really big building. This is seriously a chance for him to just take it off. Like, whoa. I think he just weighs it up as like... Nah, it's a more sure thing to let Shilob do his shit. He could still do it. I still think he weighs it up the sake of Shilob. Sam's not going to stop him from there. Hey, I don't know. Sam is pretty OP. Throw the sword. You've seen how deftly he moves. Are we about to get to share the load? Fat one cannot know. Fat one cannot know. He melted. Smeagol sees it in his eye. Oh, Smeagol looks so good. Look at that. He looks better now than he did in Two Towers. Like, there is a jump in the baldy again. Like, I think one of the most telling shots in Two Towers is right when they put the rope around his neck. He kind of sticks out. That's, like, seamless. That one was super well integrated. I think it might have been all of the, like, the sweat and the dirt and everything as well. Same with that shot when they're just entering Shilob's cave. He looks fucking phenomenal there. No. Just the sound of all of the footsteps in the background giving such a sense of the scale of this army. Yep, there's just so much going on. Very well. Very well as he's fucking burning to death. Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor. And I shall not forget it. Nor fail to reward that which is given. Well, he just starts, like, fucking on that ring. Everyone's like, what the fuck? Well, he just said, you know, more fealty, more rewards, so... Oh, great. Scraped sa on a plate. Not the fucking tomatoes. Yes. I mean, there's not a huge surprise. He's kind of an ass. That's his role in this film, because we don't get to have Sean Bean's Barmea. We have him. If he just had that full auto crossbow from Van Helsing, he would have totally taken it. That's true. His Gileath would have never fallen if he had the full auto crossbow. Especially with the holy water variable. Oh, the bonus, yeah, damage against you, evil. Don't do it, Sam. Don't fall asleep. Man, I... I guess you got no choice, but, like, I would feel so uncomfortable sleeping there. They include the fact that he's like, this is fucking gross. I guess he's hoping as well that Frodo would believe him a very messy eater. He doesn't eat his... He doesn't need to be messy to have enough to see a crumble, too. All right, all right. All right, it's just that you fucking sneak all the time. You did mention as well that you're going to kill us. And you seem to be insane. We have to be moving on. But that rock did look really comfortable, but we do need to go. It's gone. The elven bread. That surprised everyone. I'm like, oh, gee. What? Me, I don't even like it. Oh, no, no. You're a lying rat. What did you do with it? He doesn't eat it. But as an audience member, I know that Sam is right. Except he hasn't lost any weight on this journey. It's all just raw muscle under that cloak. Sam, you're overpowered. Stop. I'm a lot of pressure right now, and a lack of food is not going to add good things. If I was a friend of Sam's, I'd be like, this is not the time to suggest this. But Sam means it in such an earnest, truly frightening way. I don't want to keep it. The truth is, he's got the best resilience to the ring out of all characters. Sam literally is like, I really don't want to keep it. Just to be clear, I really don't want to keep it. It clearly fucking destroys people. If you look to the mirror lightly, Mr. Frodo. Look at that guy over there. He's a fucking goblin guy. They're both looking so haggen and tired and miserable. But old Frodo is thinking about this man, Baramir. He's poison you against me. You've turned him against me. I like how every time you reference that, you get more goopy like in retarded. Yeah, well, that's because the more you watch the movies, the more goopy and retarded they get. But that's kind of why we love them. Go home. I don't like seeing Sam sad. I don't like seeing it either. It's okay. This low is what's going to make the high so much better. I just close your eyes and think of the end of the movie. Just it helps you to get through it. It'll all be better in the end. But right now it's miserable. Seeing Sam sad is like seeing Anthony Hopkins crying in the father. It's just so tragic because he did all the best of intentions. He's such a lad. He's so pure and amazing and he's been subterfuged. Looking out for Frodo, suggesting that he would carry it not because he wants to keep it, but because he knows how much of a burden it is for Frodo. His goodness has been used against him by Gollum. The armor looks so good. It's a shame it doesn't work, but it looks so good. These noble horsies, they work so hard and nobody ever cries for the horsies. They knew what they were getting into. I don't know if that's true. Your father loves you. If the horses didn't want to die, then they shouldn't have been war horses. I don't remember it before the end. That's a cool statue. It is a cool statue. Something that's super impressive with the way that they've done Minas Tirith is showing us all of these different places. It doesn't feel like a small area because we keep seeing different parts of the city. Because what we see is probably the maximum that they had to use and they have to make you believe that it's a part of this huge structure. It's establishing a mental map. But it goes a long way. It depends if you only have the one place that you keep seeing over and over and over again and showing us just normal parts of the city as well, where people obviously live and work. I like how Game of Thrones did this, seriously, when this movie was like, this is a terrible idea and we're all going to die. And they didn't learn their lesson even though it was right there. Right there, man! It is fascinating to think about how quickly Game of Thrones as the series got killed. A bit of a lesson, a cautionary tale. If only he had those 11 herbs and spices that Sam brought with him for that roast chicken. What, gondor fried chicken? Oh, geez, can you imagine? GFC, yeah. GFC, I love me some GFC. Not to be confused with the global financial crisis. It's one of them scenes that can be analysed day and night for a thousand years. It feels like more than the sum of its parts. There's scenes like this. I think so. Definitely, absolutely. I think so. Well, it feels like commentary on war beyond the film, beyond the story itself. Symbolism. Den of Thor just eating like a fucking pig. Meanwhile, all of these men riding out to their needless deaths. Needless deaths. This crazy asshole, yeah. And then when you add on the elements as well, right, of Boromir and Faramir, is like a big motivating element of this happening in the first place. Even Gandalf's sad. He's like, man, that sucks. Yeah, just tragic. The senseless death. I want to relieve to see these lads after a while. Yeah, because we know that these are the people being led by somebody who's actually like intelligent, courageous. Heroic. Yeah, acts like a really strong foil to Den of Thor. He came from a low. He was in a low, a very, very bad one as well. But he managed to overcome it. That's gotta be deliberate, right? The contract. Den of Thor thinks himself so far above his station, like what he deserves, what he is, while Theodon is constantly insecure about, like, like an imposter, essentially, like he shouldn't be here. And that insecurity actually spurs him to become very much not an imposter. He is an incredibly noble. It's a genuine article and absolutely comes through while Den of Thor fails miserably. Jax deposed the, I guess you could say some form of complacency with Den of Thor there sitting goblin down his food while his men are sent out to die for no reason. And we immediately cut to Theodon leading the armies of Rohan. Both men don't feel like they're good enough. But one of them does something about it. You could even compare their lines, right? I will not bow to this ranger from the north versus last time I checked it was Theodon who was King of Rohan, like this frustration with Aragorn and his lineage, but at the same time, Theodon does heed Aragorn's advice, work with him, fight with him, and win with him. So when I didn't know until recently, it was apparently Peter Jackson was not too fond of the army of the ghosts, the army of the dead. Like as a plot element? Yeah, that he ended up deciding to include them because he didn't want to remove something that significant from the books for the sake of the fans. I mean, the thing about them, they present issues for me. One of the first things I go to for Lord the Rings flaws is just the army of the dead are so fucking overpowered. It's insane. There, a true Esquire of Rohan. It's weird that he didn't like them for that, but there's significantly less of them in the book than there is in the movie. Oh, I'm not going to say, I don't know what his reasons were specifically. I'm just saying my reasons. I think they're badass as hell. It's just difficult. And you need to restrict them more and nerf them more, I think. Well, yeah, because the wave of the ghost army washing over the battlefield, right? It's like, wow. You should not encourage him. Why should Mary be left behind? He has as much cause to go to war as you. I'm trying to think of if the curse could somehow you can contrive it kind of so that they cannot. They can only fight in defense. They can't fight in offense, something like that. Why can he not fight for those he loves? She's talking about herself. It's subtextual. You know as little of war as that hobbit. Well, this is the thing about these movies is like, you've got this attitude from Aomir that can seem like the mean and restrictive and narrow minded, but then we get like, he ain't fucking lying. He's been there. He knows what this is. Yeah, he's been through it. I mean, we met him essentially on a field of dead people. And he's not saying it to be like, women suck. He's like, no, it sucks that men have to do this. We don't want you to have to do this. Consider yourself the lucky one that you don't have to do this. And we do. It's a totally different approach than what we see nowadays, which is, yeah, war is awesome. And girls get it done. It's one of the most interesting things that Ragnarok. Well, man, Ragnarok. One of the thousand interesting things. I don't know how to say that. Something that's so cool about Ragnarok that they have the big hype moment of, yeah, let's go. And then as soon as the battle begins and the music kicks in, it just creates the vibe of, oh, this isn't, this is war and this is not, this is not good. Nobody wants this. Screaming and the tension in the music. For reference, he's saying, got a war Ragnarok, not Thor Ragnarok. No, not Thor Ragnarok. I mean, again, I like the joke, but now those foundations are gone. Carl Urban was in Thor Ragnarok. He was. He was in Thor Ragnarok. He went on an arc. He did. Remember when he was a good character? He actually had it. Yeah, that's crazy. He gave his life defending people. Defending Asgard. He had that one extremely cool shot where he was wielding a dual machine. Yeah. And 16s with it. And it was so fucking great. What a great character. And he just showed up for that movie, you know. He introduced it as he got them from Texas. Well, here comes another amazing scene. Yep, sorry. There's just too many in a row. Wait, now we have 6,001 spears. I mean, yeah. You do wonder if they had that conversation. Like, are you going to join us? And he was like, no. Is it abstractly saying like, Saron's power is drawing life away from here like a magical way? It's not abstract, but it's like the elves have some sort of a life force that sustains them. That's sort of like a good versus evil kind of thing. They don't get too specific about what it is. Well, I mean, no offense, right? I'm waiting for Gary and Wolfe to explain it more so. I think that's more of a move. Invention because it's all in the book. Yeah. They do a decent amount sort of setting it up. This element of like the elves are leaving. Things are changing. You need. Well, even the concept of they call it like the light of the even star thing in the book, they literally just call Arwen like Arwen even star like a nickname. Like there's not really anything significant about the name even star at all in the book. Now explain what they did and rings of power. Well, they write a book. It's one of the coolest swords fucking ever. It's not overly complex and try hard. It just looks really good with a great design. It has confidence in its own just simplicity. It speaks for itself without it meeting any flashy unnecessary elements. It truly is iconic. That's the thing. Well, this feels like the top tier based design for what a sword is. It's a long boy. The darkness coming over the world is draining Arwen. That's what we're supposed to assume. And then they rip that in a really retarded way for rings of power to say that their life force is being drained and they need me through all the fuck. We don't have to. You know what's cool though as well on theme Aragorn being like, why the fuck would we use, you know, the ghost, the traitors, murderers. It's just on theme for Lord the Rings that you have your path to redemption, even the army of the ghost sort of. Imagine how horrible that curse is. I mean, it's not as bad as the curse of the Nazgul. It's like, are they still aware that they were once men but they are just like these Autons for Sauron now. Just being trapped in that mountain because you're a bunch of pussies. I think the thing that checks them is they're just a one off. There are multiple instances throughout this trilogy of characters who brush against or almost become redeemed. You have Smeagol. You have Grima. You have, of course, the ghosts. Bad things have happened. Can you ride that road? Well, yeah. How do we run the gamut on that? We get like all the people who do, all the people who like people who don't necessarily, you know, like Theoden. He feels like a lot of what he's doing is redeeming his lack of having been in part to important events or something. There's no need to feel that way necessarily. But then you have Barmyr who really is making up for a huge mistake. Theoden's also, I mean, lack of being a good king and lack of being a good parent. I wish you'd joined since the first I saw you. I guess in a way you would obviously blame himself for what happened with Grima and Saruman's hold over him. And it's good to see like the results of all these different characters and where they go is some make one decision, some make the other. Yeah. Some, you know, die for it in a good way. Some die for it in a bad way. But you see that variety and so it's easy to sort of communicate that message of redemption. Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves? We're going with you, Lennie. But of course, a critical thing being, well, I mean, you got to, you got to chase that redemption. You got to work for it. Yep. It's not something that you can just stumble into. It requires very focused, directed effort. Yeah, you got to want to change. It's, it is a difficult thing and it wouldn't have value if it was an easy thing to do. Right. It's very nature. It might entail a great deal of suffering and strife and, you know, work. And it might kill you, but that might be the price. It might kill you, which is a super important one with, like, Borromea. Hey, get some killed. Lord Aragon. You probably just said where they were going. Just not make everyone go like, are they abandoning us? Yeah. Damn. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to fuck up so many Mordorians. They would do pretty well until the elephants shut up. Yeah, the elephants kind of ruined it, huh? Well, even then. And even then, there's still one. That legendary spear throw from AOB. What have you smiled again? Oh, he's asking her to smile. Wow. What a misnodgenist. You shall live to see thee. His facial hair is just like the perfect, like, amount of, like, gruff to it and its shape. It's like a trimmed hedge. No more despair. It is a perfect mix of nature and what is it like? Not of nature. Huh? I love nature. Nature's great. You shall pass the door to the paths of the dead. Well, nothing to worry about. This is an ominous moment. This is incredibly inviting. Yeah, this is like, this is where I just turn around and leave. Yeah, but that's because you're not as brave as these three lads. Well, if I was with them, if I was in the company of Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn, yeah, we're going in, but I would go anywhere if I was with these three. Well, I would go in there with my gun to my head the entire time so I could kill myself before the ghost gets there. I do not. Gimli would just be like, well, I do. An elf will go underground when it's war, still not. Well, I'd never hear the end of it. I'd never hear the end of it. The only reason he's going in is the shame. I'd never hear the end of it. Shame works. Unless you're buggy. Okay, most of the time. We don't talk about anomalous, lovecraftian creatures, okay? Well, Hobbits do not belong in war, Master Mediadok. All my friends have gone to battle. I would be ashamed to be left behind. You could strap a bomb to me and throw me a little more. Man, I need to end our conversations like that. I want to fight. I will say no more. I will say no more, and then just say no more. Yeah, but imagine how embarrassing would be if they said something that made you angry and then you did say more and be like, oh, that's the thing. That's where the skill comes in. That's a sure restraint. Well, what if you say I will say no more and then they say, okay, I won? Just keep going. Yeah, sometimes you know, you got to weigh it up. That's what you can't say, I will say no more lightly. Here we go. These jerks. I know you can fit like... Oh, let's try to play music. This is all this huge setup for the Ministry of Battle. I was like, you could have watched like one and a half of the Marvels already. Hey, the Marvels is great. There was a lot of setup and great characters and something about teamwork or something. Yeah, there's no men in team. But there isn't me. Wait a minute. Also an eat. Yum. I love that fucking meme from short of the dead where he says there is no eye and team, but there is an eye and pie, meat pie and meat is an anagram of team. They're all just like wop. What's that supposed to do with anything? All right, guys, it's getting really spooky in here. Have you guys noticed? We got a little touchy feeling. The ghost arms. Personal space. This is like some of the most overt fucking comedy relief of Ghibli ever. Desperation. There is an element of like, you know, it follows. You get to blow it away. The amount of time, you know? You know, he's thinking about it so much. This is just something that we as modern people can't appreciate. You will never know the feeling of crunching over a floor made of human skulls. Not with that attitude. That's right. Believe to achieve. Mm-hmm. Don't let your dreams be memes. The dead do not suffer the living to pass. Dude, I'm not even 100% clear on how they made the ghosts exactly, but they look fucking amazing. There's several layers of like ghostly flash. Yeah. And then they, yeah, get more and less transparent to see the layers. It looks so not creepy. No, you must die. That was definitely a really dude. He just grabs the ghosts because I'm the king of Gondor. The light was broken. It has been remade. So, yeah, let's negotiate. Fight for us and regain your honor. This does suck being here, I guess. Only so many times you can play hopscotch before you're just like, all right. There was tic-tac-toe as well. Remember when they couldn't figure out how tic-tac-toe worked in Black Widow? What? The one where they played it in a way that was absolutely bizarre. Yeah, they had tic-tac-toe on the wall. They fucked it up. How do you fuck up tic-tac-toe? It's your next step. Fight for me. And I will hold your oaths fulfilled. You think you can just play like a regular game or something like that? It's like, yep, there you go. We got it. That's a question that could be applied to Disney. How do you fuck up tic-tac-toe? What do you mean they fucked up tic-tac-toe? Go watch my video on it. I don't know what happened. Why have you drawn the line down when you have three across? Wait, how did you put down every circle without trying to stop the crosses player whatsoever? They landed a full line twice? Did you just come on set and drop random X's and O's with a line to try and come across as though a human might have played this? Why the fuck didn't you just play a game of tic-tac-toe for real? How do you fuck up tic-tac-toe? Well, this is a little bit of trolling on the part of the ghost of Kingman. Yeah, this is trolling. Because... I could only do this once, too. They made it count. And they have been waiting to do this. Because they were going to agree, but he's like, only if you get past my avalanche of skulls. I wonder if this is like them agreeing, like they've released the wall and the skulls are coming out? Maybe that's like symbolic of them saying yes, but in a creepy trolley way. So that was our way of saying yes. We just like our pizzazz. A little dramatic. Didn't mean to scare you. That would have been like another settlement outside of Gondor that the core says fucked up. Sorry about the skulls. That was a thing. We fight. We came up with the skull idea a long time ago. We've really been dying to use it. I had to follow through on it. Just before we leave. It was kind of a dare for Fred over there. Was it a little frightening? That was cool. You thought that was cool, right? Be honest. You thought that was fucking amazing. Go on. There's skull avalanches if you say. When will you ever be able to be in a skull avalanche again? Ethically, I mean. Aramia really taking his Baramia cosplay too far there. Well, speaking of skull avalanche, the guy's on the wall are about to get a bit of fun. He looks great. This shit, though, for Sauron, he must be like, you know, I've got all these incredible aspects. They're going to fuck them up. And then you guys have an army of ghosts. He's not handicapped. He's handicapable. Look at him. Well, see, that was the big problem with Gothmog. You shouldn't portray people with awkward walks as evil. Did you say awkward? Yes. Nice. Does he have a Hitler mustache? I thought you were going to say does he have another head on his head? I love the head wearing head, man. The head wearing head is pretty good. I thought I noticed hair under his nose and was like, they didn't give Gothmog a Hitler mustache that I only just noticed. Did I? Oh, also this, seeing in the cinema, I was legit like, whoa. Are we allowed to do that? Holy shit. This is the least the hostage is. I think you could tell with this one they were really skirt in the line at so many times. I mean, that tomato. I fucking always remembered this visual. Fucking hell. That's not good. It's deserted us. I love how the music right now deserted us. What a fucking prick. I love how the music there is just kind of like emblemic of him going insane, looking at this shit. I feel like everyone is like, for real? What? Wait, really? What? We have nowhere to fucking go. That disdain. Shut the fuck up. Prepare for battle. To the wall. To the wall. But we were going to flee. Flee for our lives. I mean, some of them looked like they were legit. Like, we're giving up. Okay, Gandalf. Yes. When Gandalf tells you to do something, you fucking do it. Send this foul beast into the abyss. Send this foul beast into the abyss. Oh, God, this battle is so cool. I do like Gothamog just being like, look at him sending this bullshit. If this was Game of Thrones, the orcs would have let off with a cavalry charge against the walls. Yep. Oh. Hit us with more rocks. You're just giving us more ammunition. Oh, man, it's such a like, especially if you nail a tower, you feel pretty good. Oh, and how it hits the side, it takes the whole side out. Ah, then of course. Here it is, yeah. Stay where you are, right, Gothamog? Look at this, great. Move out of the way. All right, that's pretty cool, okay? That troll as well. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Oh, fuck. So epic. The music. This is my favorite music you'll hear in this movie. Remember the Simpsons parody of this? There's a Simpsons parody of this? Yes, there is. Look at the dude. Look at that. Oh. And the music is so fucking epic. You also, the Witch King has one of the coolest masks and everything ever. I like how in Shadow of War, they made him look stupid. You don't like that. You're lying. The fact that they're like, terrifying they can get to everywhere and scream just being like crippling to everyone as well. Yeah. They're trying their hardest, but I mean, they are outnumbered. You're fucked and dropped. That's what I mean. They do a really good job of making the Minister of Sides powerful, but also essentially getting destroyed. This is not a weak force, but what could they do? There's so much. Kill the Toys! Dino's really getting into it. Yeah, he realized like he's the main source of morale for all of these guys. Ah, I fell off. That one guy fell off. It's like, oh, I'm shaking. Yeah. What a jerk. Get all the way there. This is kind of funny to think about. It's like, yeah, this will do it. Those towers, man. You got to get rid of them. They're so fucking good. Go back to the city door! Here we get some badass Gandalf shit. Pretty sure just those small amounts of movements you see from him here are like, like several moves in the game are modeled for that. Yes, that surprised you, didn't it, Gandalf? It surprised that orc even more. Yeah, he was like, the fuck? Did I just get stepped by a child? The wizard had leveled up like 30 times. The hobbit kills me. Just the pile of corpses and then they just start running up them to do the battering ramp. The door won't give! It's too strong! They really don't want us getting inside, sir. Smash it down! But nothing can reach us! But she can. She long comes up to the gate. Whatever you just say, but she can to anything she loves shows up. It just does whatever the thing is. You cannot wield it. None of us can. But she can. You can't cook this roasted chicken thoroughly at this size and temperature. No. But she can. That's a really cool looking battering ram, right? It looks very, it's very evil looking. It has a lot of character. That is important in the game. Oh my god. A fucking game, man. It's the ugly runt of the Lord of the Rings IP. It's this creature. But is it the ugly runt or is it rings of power? I feel like Gollum, the rings of power I wouldn't describe as an ugly runt. I would describe it as a horrible monstrosity. It's an ugly cunt. Oof. No, Peter Jackson. Hey, it's okay. He killed him before he could make the hobbit movies. I could imagine the three of you are like, the Corsair, they got a knife. Take him down. I will say they're a little lucky the Corsairs didn't immediately fire a volley at them. Fucking wild to be on those ships and seeing that. Imagine you fell off the back of the ship, washed up some days later, and then like told that story. Nobody would believe that we have almost two hours left. Oh, it is a chunky film. Delicious. Right in here, Gollum looks fucking fantastic. He does look good. Yeah. He looks as good as Jar Jar Binks. Nobody, uh, nobody said anything about that. So I assume everyone agrees. Totally agree. I'm sorry, I was listening to Colin. What? The Binker. Misa agrees. Oh, Jar Jar Binkerooni? Did you just fucking call him the Binker? The Binkster. I mean, we still, everyone still wants Binks a Star Wars story to happen. I still want him to be a Seth. I feel like a Jar Jar Binks film would make more money than most Star Wars or Marvel films. Especially if we could get a pretty bad practical suit, and then just the actor and, you know, just the Tatooine set. And that's it. We brain bat the actor. And he just clearly has this human face there showing, but he has like the puppet mask on top of him like he had in the scenes. Oh, no. And they just play it like that. Do you guys remember that Beowyn drawing of Jay, but with like big ears and the fucking Jar Jar eyes sticking out of his head? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. I do that, but with the actor. And then he makes the same voice. It could be just ruthlessly sharing. The thing about it is, if the budget stays under, let's say, like five million or whatever, it'll make a profit. It'll make money. Everyone will be like, yo, did you see this Jar Jar movie? Yeah, you got to see the Jar Jar movie. It's insane. Halfway through, he can like stab a child to death and then the movie just doesn't address it at all. It's right. He runs from the police and it turns into an episode of cops. He feels guilty because he's the reason that Palpatine is where he is. That's easy. That's right. Yeah. Is there a monkey in here? What the fuck? Just like a gorilla skeleton. You do love that this is Frodo like, hang on a sec. Wait a minute. This is one of those places you don't go, isn't it? It's good that Sam doesn't have crippling depression and decided to just throw himself off the cliff. It feels weird that he legit was like, well, back to the Shire. It's going to take a bit, but I'll get there. I think that's a meme that someone made of him just like going back to the Shire while Frodo gets stabbed to death. Yeah. I saw this as a criticism. I just thought it was funny that it was like Sam Pixar something that says, wait a minute. So I didn't eat the bread. But of course, what you're supposed to take from this is it's the confirmation that Gollum sabotaged it as opposed to anything else. Like he knows. Yeah. He wasn't being, yeah. I do kind of think that that whole sending Sam away was not really necessary for the movie. I could see the the idea because like it's just, if Sam were here right now, I don't think this works as well. Like Mr. Frodo, we are not going in this fucking tunnel. I love the horror of this part. And I don't know if it's, it's not going to be anywhere near as scary if Sam's here. Definitely not necessary for him. It's still perfect trilogy, but definitely not necessary for him to be leaving. Oh, there she is. I love the show. Hello. I would be shitting my pants. Spiders at their normal size are not great. So when they're this big, it's like, oh fuck. It's not even just the way spiders look. The way they kill is like fucking horrifying. Yeah. The insect world is the nightmare realm. You know, the fact that like commonly speaking, big cats will hit you in the throat and you die. Like that's, it's like, well, it's preferable. Oh, this power is like... Oh yeah. This was like, oh, this is so fucking tense. Well, because the shadow comes up first, right? And it's getting bigger and bigger. Oh, the desiccated corpse is hanging down. And that looks like some particularly sticky webbing. Yeah. I think Gollum is just fucking trolling in the background. Yeah. That's fresh web came right out of her butt. Especially now that we've talked about it, I just keep noticing that Gollum really, they stepped him up for this film competitor's house. Yeah. He looks really good. Oh, he's like, yep, I'm leaving. Bye. Yeah, fuck this. God, that's such a good scene. As I said, it's the tension. Geez. Like, oh fuck Frodo. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Let the soul go. Oh no. Gollum, give him a fucking second hit. Fuck you. Even though Sam made all that bread, I still hate you. God, you're really making this difficult. You were stinging as I was trapped in the web, you fucker. Well, but that's what's so good about this is that it's just Frodo realizing like, there is a good guy in there. It's the ring that brings out the bad side all the time. And he knows. We can destroy it. And we could be free of it. Saving Gollum is saving himself. The Sam would have fucking thrown him off the cliff already. That's the differences that Frodo can directly understand. This is what I have to do. They need to be a path back for Gollum so that Frodo can believe in his own. So that Frodo has his own path back, exactly. What's interesting too is that even if Smeagol had died there, that would have been like, like a completed he made his choice. That could have been the end. I totally agree. I fucking love the shot of Smeagol getting the rings. Oh, absolutely. It's so good. So sorry, Sam. Frodo's having a really fucking bad day. It's not great. It's not great. He's about to discover that it can actually get worse. That's true. Oh, God. He's got quite a duty left yet. This is where Galadriel comes and said, oh, I could take that She-Love thing and one swing of a sword. We'll see. You know, I killed an ice troll. I killed an ice troll by myself. 110 seconds. I feel insulted to call her. Call her Galadriel at all. This is the real Galadriel. Oh, yeah, obviously. No, no. She's not screaming autistically into the camera. She's not a warrior with a sword chopping off her head. She's not making that facial expression that seems like she just smelled something extremely foul. I've always really loved that. This, like, she can sort of like get in this way and then he gets up and he's like, oh, is that me all along? You have this and it's such an invigorating, like, yes, you can do it. The way they shoot She-Love coming around toward him, you're like, oh, no. Prepare to move out. Make haste. And they know how to make haste because Shadowfact showed them the meaning of it earlier in the movie. So that's a through line that I appreciate. They call that setup and payoff. Yeah. All right, everyone, let's make, like, a baby in leaf. What? You just sometimes just go with it. Well, and you've got to set them on fire, too. It's not bad enough. This is a bit mean. Yes, you must set them on fire. Oh, he's got a little yellow flag. Oh, no, that's a torch. Never mind. He's got a little yellow flag. He's got a little yellow flag. I was like, oh, look at me spring this little yellow flag. Look off, Mark. I brought my little yellow flag. And then I was like, oh, no, that's a torch. And it's on fire. All right. This fucking part. This shit evokes memories for me. Not just of the films with the games as well as some epic, difficult shit, but a Gandalf's reaction every time. That's what I always think about. Yeah, this is some wild shit, Denethor. There is no hope for men. There is hope for men. Look, there's a flower. There's hope for gay men. Some straight men like flowers. I love flowers. You're not straight. You're not straight. Sometimes I forget. Some flowers are way better than others. I will say that. Flowers are on a massive spectrum of gay. Bring me wood and oil. Yeah, this is the element of like, you know, I got to make sure we fuck up whatever comes through. But even he didn't expect what comes through. Look at that. Oh, shit. What the fuck? Back up gate. I've always really liked their spears. They have this slender, needleish kind of like sharp look to them. Yeah. Yeah. Up a cut with the sword. Percent of your rolls, baby. It probably is a really good thing that we have that cutaway of a lot of stuff happening between Gladreal helping him up in this. Yeah, because I guess you don't want to just suppose it's so hard that it's like that. But look at it. It's so gross. Spiders. I love the silence of it as well. At least it's not one of those really spindly spiders with the long ass thin legs. At least it's a chunky spider. Well, apparently this design was chosen because Peter Jackson finds these spiders the scariest. Oh, it's the really. For me, it is the fast moving long legs. Yeah. Like the ground spiders. They just seem less terrifying. Those sand spiders that you find on the beach and it's just fucking there and it's really fast. I will say as well, my fear of spiders is cranked like crazy. If I have any remote thought that they might be poisonous, which is rake some in Britain. But like, you know, if they have like any kind of coloring or bright color on them, I always assume like, wait, does that mean it's poisonous? Oh my God. Spiders not necessarily. Well, no, that's the thing. I don't know shit all about how spiders work. I just fear them. Because around here, the poisonous ones are by no means bright. It's just brown. It's just brown recluses and black widows here. You guys, it's, you know, it's not like. Yeah, for us, we have. I don't even know if there are fucking lethal spiders in Britain. This is such a fucking vibe. Having you come back with a little fanfare. He's got the light. He's got the sword to fight. Also, when he said, let him go, she loves. She said, very poor choice of words. Drop the body. Pretty big. If collateral was watching this, she'd be so. I can't wait for me. I fucking hate it. Those are the tears of an ice troll, by the way. The way tears of an ice. Well, and the sword is actually. Jesus. Yeah, this is where you have to really get that. The creator of an ice troll. Your feet on his fucking head. Oh, the legendables. They roll off his back. Oh, seven more of those. Fuck. Well, that was the thing about the designer. She loved it. Looks like this is a creature that's lived for a long time. Yeah. Here it comes. Oh, the butt spike. If you're going to do anything, it's. Don't let that fucking thing hit you. Swords on my gut. My only weakness. And she was like, OK, draw. We're good. Fucking Sam. He's eating a giant, giant spider. And no one will ever believe him. I wonder what that. If Gollum was still here, Sam would fuck him up so bad. It'd be like a fatality in modern combat. Can't catch a break. No. God, the orcs look so good. All the makeup and the outfits. Not as good as CG, though. It's way better. We could just all make them look shittier for more money. That is just true. We could just do that. Yeah. Then she has a pain with them. She has what? She has her way with them. Oh, my God. She rapes her victims. Well, I don't care. Can we just take it? Not even we do that. I don't even know what we have going on down there. Honestly. What do you mean? Saruman had to tell the Urichai not to rape the hobbit. Exactly. He was explicit. And I bring them a gun spoil. That's true. Gun spoil. Shelib's like, nah, spoil him. Shelib? Shelib. Shelib. Shelib. Don't have a coolish Shelib. It just makes you sound rich-hearted. Some kind of racism. I don't know. Spider lady. No, spider lady is what they ended up doing to her in Shadow of War. And that was just embarrassing. But was she hot though? Well, isn't that what matters? Yeah. Well, that was the part that was weird. They made the fucking spider hot. I release you from myself. The original cut for this was apparently four and a quarter hours, right? Imagine having that. And then being told you have to get it down to, like, you know, theatrical length. It's going to be one of the most painful things. And then you release the special editions and nobody- I wonder what happens if you just said no. Well, I guess you'd be in legal trouble if you just said no. Because Joss, this league was a two hour mandate, right? A mandate with two hours. Yeah. And then just the marvels as a recent example, recent issue anyways of like the destruction of a timeline, time code. It's crazy seeing how good Joss was able to make a movie like Serenity in only two hours, but then he just could not salvage Zack Snyder's fuckup. No. I'm happy to put blame on him somewhat. Like some of the stuff in the Joss shows. They shouldn't have taken the job. Well, he wanted Batgirl, right? That was the idea. Man, if only Bronwyn was here to kill all these orcs single-handedly. You remember her name? Yeah. Bronwyn. Bronwyn. Yeah. The Rings of Power Lady. It is way more than one Rings of Power Lady, right? She was the orc slayer. You know, she was the village medic. Yeah. The orcs. She was the village everything. She was a rotten year's girlfriend. Oh, was she the black milk chick? The black milk chick. No, no. She was white. No, she had the dysentery. No, no, no. Was she the chick who like milked the cow and the cow's milk was black? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she was the one that Treadwell brought his stuff to. We should not be talking about this on this scene. Yeah. Good God. I almost want to rewind. You can't, though. This is the shit. Fire sword. Can you beat that? Yeah. Riva's lightsaber. Look at that. Staff broken. I don't even need it, bitch. Is the Witch King a reflective power level of Gandalf? In the movie or in the book? Well, since I've seen the movies and I'm still asking that question. Witch King of Angmar is very powerful but could not stand up to Gandalf. I like how you can just look up the best scene of any movie on YouTube and this is what shows up. This is pretty hard to top. We did talk about this at one point, I think, that this is just such an easy pick for the best part. Especially the visuals while of all the people of Rohan seeing like Minas Tirith is in desperate need of help. I mean, there's so many shots that look like paintings. Yeah, like this just looks completely natural. Oh, yeah. That shot of him right in front of it. Yeah, it's all CG, but like the way they do it is just so fucking good. Right now! What could be said? It's the cinema. It's the cinema. It's the synthesis of visuals, music, acting. The scene fires me up. I want to go into battle every time I see it. Yeah! This is the perfect leader to send them into basically doom. Yeah! Also, they had in speeches better than Aragorn's. I feel like this scene in terms of an influence, so many movies want to do the charge, but they're never this good. Again, they oftentimes aren't as justified. No, like the Infinity War, that one makes no fucking sense at all. Or Endgame. Not even that made sense. This one makes, like, this is the best one. It's the best one. Yeah, I can't imagine. It has so much to build up to it, too. And like the way that everyone screams death, and it's just like this thunderous noise of thousands of people's voices. Well, it feels like we've earned the triumphant feeling that this scene evokes of everybody being amped up and ready to fight to save the world. So many dying here, the momentum doesn't change at all. Because the look on their faces after this volley. Yeah, they still get real scared. Like, oh shit, uh-oh. Oh, look at him! Yeah! My boy! He actually did that on a horse, which is like, damn. Yes! When you have the music ramp up, and then you cut to all of the diagetic sounds of the battle. And seeing this in the theater for the first time, it was jaw-dropping. What are- Oh, well, this is an experience I think. I've talked to Drinker about it on Open Bus several times. It filled me with so much about film. I was like, so ready to watch this for the rest of my life in the form of other media. The epitome of epic. I guessed. Oh, indeed. As we've said several times, we come back to this because somehow it wasn't the foundation that many other incredible films were built on. Instead, it was poorly imitated at best. Dude, we never got one fucking good fantasy movie after this. Oh, my God. I wouldn't want it. We probably had some. Well, I mean, you got Game of Thrones for a while there. That's not a film. No, I know, but, you know, you got that. Well, we got three seasons and nine episodes over. Yeah, don't invoke Game of Thrones in this place. Goddamn. We're gonna marry a pippet coming through. I don't even know which I'd pick as doing the more crazy shit. I don't know. I'm not sure. They both do crazy shit. No, I had this all planned out. Gandalf's definitely at the I am fucking tired of your bullshit level. Yeah, his head has had a really long day. It's getting bit by sticks, spears, horses. Dad, why are you on fire? What the fuck is happening? Oh, shit. Oh, God, I regret everything. Fire hurts. No, this is probably one of the most ridiculous parts. How far he runs. Yeah, he runs real far. Look at how far we ride. And there it goes. The best part is, it's like, they were on the left side of that tower. So he had to, there was a bridge. He could have just jumped off the bridge instead. They wanted the visual of him going off that mountain. Also, this might be one of the greatest blueprints ever for filmmakers to understand the highs and lows to create drama. We keep balancing from feeling like we're going to lose to feeling like, oh, we were going to win. And then we've back to feeling like, oh, fuck, maybe not. But the important part being that there's justification for those pits and dips. Dude, this shot, there's in my head, red free as well. Oh, fuck. And then, oh, there they are. And the Orcs running to them like, save us. And even then, fade and immediately it's like, all right, reform the line. All right. All right. Yep. Yep. We can still win this guys. Come on. There is no other option. There is no, we give up. There's a, we keep fighting no matter what. We can believe that they can win. One of the strongest examples of undercutting. Just, yeah, let's go and the music ramping up again to go. Yeah. Look at him go. They're going to charge. They're going to win. As soon as the music cuts. Yep. Just hard cut. Look at them. They're getting absolutely annihilated. I don't know what it is, but it's just incredible. There are so many times when you just hard cut to the diegetic sounds of the battle. It also helps that we get so many shots from down in the ground with all the roe here. Absolutely. So you get a sense of scale for just how fucking massive these things are. We need to make sure that we have our perspective on the ground so that we understand just how chaotic and scary the situation is. And man, these, the elephants, they just hit hard. Once again, very distinct cultural differences for this team. Yeah. Here we go. Do it. Try to be legalized and succeeding. Standing up to a fucking elephant like that. Yeah. That's still only counts as one. Kill a Manjaro. Kill him there. Running right. Run. Run. Freaking believable. It felt like it was almost hopeless, but now we're seeing a lot of different methods to take down the Muma kill. A lot of this was cut from the theatrical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One thing that I wonder how difficult it must have been is how hard must it have been to cut Howard Shore's score? Yeah. Cause like you listen to the, the complete recordings and it's like, how the fuck could you have possibly trimmed any of this? It's insane. Cause those things are long. It's a huge collection. Well, yeah. The complete recordings are almost as long as the fucking movies themselves. They record a lot of music. And it's the greatest soundtrack ever made. Right now it's possibly one of the greatest quotes of the Lord of the Rings. Yeah. And he is just fucking awesome from start to finish. A man who has lived an unbelievably long life. Like he is thousands of years old by this point. I mean, I say man, he's not even a man. He's like essentially like an angel or an angelic being that's been sent down to help Middle Earth. A man who has to balance the fate of an entire world in his plans, in all of the things that he sets in motion has to be in so many different places, has to do so much to try and make things happen as they need to. Battles all these incredible, terrifying enemies like Balrogs and takes on Saruman and is tempted by the ring, but rejects it. Like he comes through all of that, but can still find the time to take care and try to give comfort to Hobbits, to like Mary and Pippin, to give them like little encouraging speeches and things. It's such a great balance of a character. A man who can see the world in the grandest scale imaginable but also can still care about the lowliest of individuals and just, yeah, an awesome inspiring character who just never falters. I love how vicious that throw was. Yeah, it's obvious the Witch King is to take out this guy, he's fucking too good. Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey. Spend as much of the film as they have to build up the Witch King and then to have her be the one to fight him. Oh, the way he gets up and the wings still... It's still convulsing a bit. The reveal of the Chained Mace. Apparently that thing was so fucking heavy that like all of the takes were like, every single shot had to be like done a new take almost. The fucking, it's the flowing of his whole outfit, the screams, the music, the look of him is terrifying and badass. She's so outmatched. She's broken right there. I mean, we're back to the low again. We're losing hard. You remember, you see the ships and you're like, oh yeah, that's right. Like three of our important characters. Head on head. It's head on head. They have a one-six scale of that character I have it. Of course you do. Do you ever pet the top head? Every day. For luck. What? That's definitely like, I don't understand what's happening with the fuck. I am not mad. We should send that clip to synthetic man. Really should. Marys two. Fifty! Sixty! Come on! Don't keep it counting. I love how fucked up she looks. So many movies, like they just have to make sure that the actors still look pretty. And it's like, no. Yeah, yeah, always have our makeup on. Always have the hair, dude. I was like, no, she didn't find a battle. I love how they, they kill him so casually. Yeah, it's just like these one- Just another orc. Many orcs. Oh, I never noticed how the trunk tries to hit him off. I hate it when people reference this scene to defend stupid parts of Rings of Power. And it's always like, you guys know this scene is widely referred to as the worst part of the entire trilogy, right? In terms of just, it's, it breaches on super ridiculous. Whatever. People won't freaking... Oh, everyone here loves it. The point is just that you take the troll kill from Fellowship, which feels very almost grounded, but elf-powered. Because he doesn't really... Once he's on it, he doesn't really do anything that's unbelievable. And he clearly struggles a bit, like when he's hanging off the side. Well, and it feels hell of a lot more earned. Yeah, absolutely. That part's a bit showing. That's just legendary. It will be. I like that in an ironic way, but I still think it's incredibly stupid for the trilogy. Nah. I wouldn't go that far. I think it jumps like a little bit far. Jumps the gun-shock. Crazy to think about when we first saw him. He was just all the new crepid and pale and grimo-worm tongue and Saruman were like controlling him. I'm going to save. And then at the end, he saved Minas Tirith. He saved... He saved men! I go to my father. One of the best kings ever. One of those pivotal characters. Theoden is... I love his redemption arc after falling in, you know, under the spell and just absolutely being devastated within the movie. I'm talking about the movie concept of it, so he's being taken over by Saruman and Worm Tong has gotten to him. And when he wakes up, his son is dead. And he feels like he's failed his niece and nephew completely. He fails his kingdom. This man just feels like he's not worthy of being a king and he fights through that. He needs help, but he's just... He's such a good man. He's such a good man at the end. And it's played so well. Plus, he has the best fucking speeches. And he also works kind of as a surrogate for the audience when you're like in the middle of this battle. He's like, how in the fuck did we get here? Like what, you know, what happened to men, you know? The days have gone down in the West and it's such a brilliant performance through and through. That's why he's my favorite character. But it's, you know, I love a good redemption arc. So not that he... Not that it was necessarily his fault, but still. And he takes responsibility like that, too. Release us. You gave us your word. Yeah, and that feels like a slight acknowledgement of like, set him to Mordor? And you're like, oh, we can't do that. Also, they probably wouldn't do it. They'd probably be like, you fucking lied to us. Well, that's what I'm saying is that that's why that's there mechanically. But like, all Aragon has to do is what he makes that oath say with us the war against Mordor and then I'll free you. And if they'd agreed, you know... I feel like this is so absent from so many films the acknowledgement of the cost of these, these victories. Oh, this scene is fucking amazing. That man is... Car Urban giving it all he's got. That moment gives way more context. What are you saying to it earlier? As we get for Staben, Witch King. It's the same for Mary, right? Yeah, like you could... Yeah, he clearly yet recoiled his whole hand and was like, ah, I wish I had your relationship with your dad. A mumma kill could feed like Minas Tirith for a week. Yeah, maybe the whole city for a week. Yeah, this is the fridge. God, the journey, these two have been almost separated. Oh, they both got stories to tell that neither will believe the other. So funny, too. He's just like, we wrap it up. It's like, no, we got loads of movie left. No, no, bitch, there's an hour left. Oh, what a day it's been, Frodo. Are we going to take his pants off? No, we're not Shelob. I was saying Shelob. What, is Shelob? Shelob. Shelob. Shelob. The fucking Shelob. Shelob. You keep saying Shelob. How is it that you keep watching these movies and you keep pronouncing all their names wrong? You pronounce everyone wrong. Let's talk about this. Oh, I spilled all my shitty stew. The scum tried to knife me! Kill him! Do you like how they try to avoid showing his mouth with those words because it would never work with the teeth he had? It looks so good. They'll never look bad, ever. They'll always look amazing. Ow! Oh, shit. I don't even know what that was, but ow! It was a giant stone egg. It was just like a big steal. I don't know what this is, but I'm going to throw it at someone. Grandma gave this to me for my birthday. God, it looks so good, like the model. Oh, yeah. I guess they used for that. Oh, those, I've always, those statues were always so creepy. Looked like Geiger. Cultures. Yeah. Sam is like, what the fuck? Sam, it's time to get your kill streak, buddy. Sam couldn't say that he just killed all these people. Yeah, I would. I would. That would be fun if he killed everyone that are the way out because Frodo missed all the contacts. He's like, you did all of this? He's like, the you. That's too hard. The you. I like their very long hats. I have no one knows what a gaffer is. The hero Sam segment, where he's killing spiders and orcs. Oh, fuck, dude. The mouth of Sauron's scene, when I saw that for the first time, I was like, what the hell? This is a thing that exists. I had no idea. In fact, yeah. I remember finding a $100 bill. You didn't know it was in there. You're like, I hit this is the thing. There's more for him in the return of the king game. The mouth of Sauron. I was like, what the fuck is this based on? Because it was before the extended. Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry. Yeah, you're sorry. It's over. They've taken it. Sam. I wonder if Sam was like, I wonder if I should just say, yeah, they took the ring. Yeah, damn. Oh, it's a ring. Oh, well. That's just good amount to do him anyway. I'll do that. The ring around Frodo's neck, scarring. Give me the ring, Sam. He's just worried about Frodo. That's the only reason he doesn't give it to him right away. Not reassuring at all the expression Frodo has and putting it on. That's the thing, man. At that point, I don't want nothing to do with that fucking thing. We best find you some clothes. You can't go walking through Mordor or not with your skin. That's true. It would be very inappropriate. And we would get an R rating for this film that we're already straddling. Fuck it. Let's get it. Let's get the R rating vision. Do it. Oh, fuck. And with the music, too. It feels so appropriate, too, in terms of like, holy shit, that's the destination. Look how close we are now. We'll never get through and see. Yeah, especially with fucking sound. We're all looking around like that. Well, you guys do it over there. You fucking... I'm gonna find you. I'm getting a big feeling that the ring is close. Just saying. I think this is the first time we've seen the eye outside the Palantir, this whole movie, right? In this movie, yeah. In this movie. Very... Yeah, you really don't see the eye much. It is the first time that any of their main characters have been near the eye, though. Yeah, but they show... They like show it, sometimes when they refer to it or in other imagery. Wait, wasn't it on the book? The eye of someone. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the visual is based on a description, right? Yeah, because in the... Frodo sees it in the mirror. Gladrials... What does it call it? The mirror to Gladrials? No, that's not what it's called, is it? Oh, that's Gladrials' Bathwater. Yeah, it's really fucking good. He stole it online. Well, yeah, he sees it in that scene and then they just repurposed that visual and used it to make a physical presence for him in the movie. We can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed upon us. I think it was even in the animated version. Like an eye on a tower? I'd have to see... Yeah, no, well, an eye, not on a tower, but I think even in the animated version there was an image on it. I'd have to see it again. I'd cover the book. I'd be quite curious to see it again because it's been so long. Certainty of death? Small chance of success. What are we waiting for? It's all nice. Gimli's in the little chair now. That take, though, from this scene where he concluded that Gimli wanted to kill Sam. Let him stay there. Let him rot. Why should we care? That's right. This was the imagery that... Yeah, that's right. Get him to stay there. Let them rot. I like how he specified that he watched it three times to make sure he was right. Yeah. He still came to the wrong conclusion. It's just so funny because the other characters would be like, Gimli, what the fuck? Why do you want to kill Sam? Yeah, Sauron's like, so that little wife of yours, huh? It's a bit of a fixed wrapper, but it'll look nice when it's all done. Just the damp of the first spring rain. Have you two also had a very long day because I have had a very long day as well? This is a moment where everyone's competing to explain they've had the hardest day. I promise I'm different from the rest of my family. Yes, I'm actually kind of stable. Considering everything that's happened around me, I'm shockingly stable. I'm like Sam, in a way. And she's like, who's that? He's like, oh, you haven't seen Lord of the Rings. Okay. Don't bite me. He would awk things. He just loves whipping. Boy, I love whipping. Can you fucking imagine if I got separated? Fuck me. Let's just be at the mountain. Okay. Which part of the mountain? That's a big mountain. I'm where we're about. Oh, I don't know. I would just pretend it's Star Wars and we'll arrive at the same exact location. I wonder how you get the job as the drum guy in the army? Well, they probably have tryouts. Yeah, you gotta be good at it. You can't just be throwing it to anybody. What are they inspecting exactly? Just making sure everybody's... Just making sure everyone's okay, you know? Checking the morale. Making sure there's no hobbits around. I don't believe some fucking old guy twists the fucking sword at a stone and created that. No. That's not what happened. He stuck the sword in the thing and he turned it. If it's the size of an old guy. If it's the size of an old guy. This could be an attachment, but yes, in some bizarre world, an old man created that. He had a bad timeline version of Lord of the Rings. Old dude. I think it is absurdly gay that they took such a cool looking sword and just made it a key to make a volcano. The sword was pretty cool. Especially that's something I liked. We had to like the blood would make it grow. Oh yeah, it was so evil. Yeah, it's like that's evil. What are you gonna do with it? It's gonna key and make Mordor. That shit's metal as fuck and then they're like, let's make it the dumbest thing ever. Especially cause it leaves the scars behind and that's what Waldrig showed Theo, was like, see, don't you like siren isn't this fucking metal and awesome? He was like, what the fuck? Why do you keep pronouncing his name that way? What, Theo? Waldrig? Sauron. Yeah, Sauron. Sauron. Sauron? No, that's the Mass Effect 1 bad guy. That's a guy from Muscat. So that's Saren. There is light and beauty up there that no shadow can touch. It's such a nice little part of this movie. Not in the theatrical as far as I remember. But it's in the real version, so. Yeah, which is why you should never fucking watch the theatrical version. I can't even remember it. I was going to say, I haven't seen the theatrical for so long, but I still, like, I'm just perpetually mad that they removed so many good scenes from it. Was there someone over there enjoying Starlight? Because the reality is that that was the one that loads of people sawed. It's like, they didn't get to see the full thing. That's my line. At the time. At least now is you have to see the, you know, the proper versions. Yeah, the theatricals were still good, but you got that bonus of, you know, when, when, right around, it was before Christmas. Yeah, the theatrical movies are like the roast chicken, but the extended editions are like the roast chicken with Samwise, Gamgee's, Eleven Herbs and Spices. Even Frodo agrees. It is precious. Is it Frodo? And one could argue that if they released the extended cuts originally, they would have made just as much money. People would have fucking had. You want to, you want to test that, don't you? Like, release those fuckers. Release a four-hour movie into the cinema. Do it. No intermission. I think it, I think it literally was so that they could get more showings. Yes. You'd have like almost like what, half the showings that you could per day because of the sheer length. People would watch them. This ain't no The Marvels. You can fill everything everywhere. More than 10 people will be in those theaters. Or is it snowed in other countries, the Captain Marvel too? A bunch of people watched that Avatar movie. That was pretty long. I don't remember a damn thing about it. Nobody remembers that. Nobody does. I only remember the funny bits. There was water. The funny bits. Yeah. How could you be an actor in these movies and then like come away thinking, yeah, anything I make will be even remotely this good. That's kind of an interesting thought. The idea of knowing this is the best thing that you'll ever make or be a part of. Yeah. Like if this was, if I was in this project, I'd be like, you know what, I just never going to do anything again. I peaked. I'll never do anything again. Right after they're done with the thing that they just realized they're the most known for, like David to cover me with X files. They go off and do their thing, act a little bitter, but a lot of them, like when they get older, learn to appreciate, hey, at least I was in something memorable. Yeah. You know, Mary was a Dominic. What's his name? Dominic Monaham. He was in All of Lost. And then he made it into Rise of Sky. Oh, like fucking five seconds. He was in the greatest trilogy of movies ever. And then he was like, what if I was in one of the worst movies ever made? What about the whole delman over? Just real damage. Oh my God. Come on. That movie is one in a building. My master, Sauron the Great. Oh, look at this fucking guy. Brush your fucking teeth. I like how Aragorn's just like, this guy's ugly as fuck. Bruce Pence was in the prequel trilogy, Mad Max, Lord of the Rings trilogy. Dude, this moment of the first thought you'd have is like, you must have killed Frodo, but then the disciples say like, there's a chance he didn't. Don't fucking reveal a thing. No. Silence. Some smart shit from Gandalf straight away. And who is this? The action figure to this, the one six scale is perfect. It's utterly perfect. Except it doesn't have a removable head. He has a removable head. No, except he doesn't have one. I wish he did. You could always make that the case, Gary. You just get a buzz saw and some glue. Also, that is Sauron being like, did you just kill him? What the fuck? What dude? That's something like who would do. What the fuck? Yeah, that's like dishonorable or something. Wow. Pretty soon, other horses are going to disappear. Yeah. Just to acknowledge that it's still the greatest trilogy of all time. Sons of Gandalf! Abrohan! My brother! One of those moments where it's like, listen, we were feeling pretty hopeless before. This is super hopeless. A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day! This day we fight! This day we fight! This day we fight! I love how the horse just like knew, like, oh, I got to do the thing. The horse was very inspired by the speech. Even the horse was like, I'm at Lord of the Rings, guys. All right, get going, Friday. This is one of those like, come on, we're on the doorstep. We got to go. We came this far. I'm not stopping here. If we were at She Loves Cave, yeah, fair enough to give up. But like here, come on. The fact that they're circling us means they're afraid, right? I thought I'd die fighting side by side with an elf. What about side by side with a friend? Yay! Yay! So satisfying. Aw, so fucking good. Friendship wins. I could do that. I can't carry it for you. But I can't carry you! Aw, such a great line. I showed these movies to my grandma and she was like fucking sobbing during this part. Geez, yeah. How do you not? It's not too loud. It's so fucking good. I have to hearing all that from Frodo, especially being like, I can see him with my waking eyes. Okay, this fucking ring is getting destroyed. Oh, Gimli looks so fucking funny in this part. I can't air-glare for that. He does. Gumbler Gimli has had enough of this shit. Ian McClellan going. That's him. He is squinting. McClellan. There was not enough epicness in this movie already. I feel like I have some more. Oh, this is such a like, you fucking kidding me seriously. Are you serious? This little gremlin is back. I mean, the powerful sense of desperation in this moment. Yeah, you know, you're making progress, in a sense, but no, these bastards again. Does that mean he is going to turn into a golem? into a golem. I don't think it can be spread by bites. Those are the golem rules, right? You don't think, but you don't know. I didn't realize that I didn't fucking fell off. How did I watch these a million times and not notice that? It's like the Legolas thing. I never noticed the mumma kill tried to use its trunk to hit Legolas off the tusk. I never noticed that before. 20 years of watching these movies and I'm still finding new awesome shit about them. And it's like poetry. It rhymes with a seal door. Elijah Wood is giving it his all. I've never understood people saying he's a shitty actor in this film. How can they say that in this scene? I mean put it to one side all of the other great scenes with Frodo. This scene in particular, this is a big challenge. Inside the ring is going oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Ooh, look at me. But look at his eyes. The total change of expression. Well, yeah, it's like he's turned into a completely different person. The ring is mine. Imagine how sorrowed feels with it put that real. What the fuck? Go go go go go. Why you fools guys the ring is in the one place. I really don't want it to be and on top of everything else Well, it's just a culmination of low points all at once I Want to go up to all the animators and be like I hope you know you made literally the greatest thing ever Yeah, but just like golem CGI holds up so fucking well, it's incredible how well it's hold up up to This is pretty fucking silly looking here. Well, the irony is like that's how it would look I mean he's completed his Got everything's going horribly wrong The absolute fucking deafness of going from down to up to down to up the deaf hand He's a piece. He's so happy And everyone all over the world in all theaters was like what? This look just I'm sorry Me you keep like get reminded of why anyone would pick any of these people for their favorites But the two of them together the friendship the companionship saves Frodo The amount they had going on faith to right they had they had nothing really concrete to do what was happening Fuck you fire demon. That's right. Blow up. Go on do it do it do the shock wave do it looks so cool Satisfying villain death in history was very much tied to the whole movie that came before it that I mean all of the really That's quite the bad guy to be it's like the first one of the only instances where you see a villain who doesn't really directly do Anything himself, but he just has like this incredibly satisfying demise kind of vaporizes just like just like Emperor Palpatine Which means he might just return Go down that fucking train of thought That elation immediately undercut From from this vantage point no way they're making it out of that like we didn't think the mountain would blow up when we did I love how much it does to convey just how hot this is even if it's you know not Real and not there just their faces and you know that wind is just like a furnace Like has any character from any marhol movie looked anywhere near as fucked up as these two look right here Time to start rolling out all them people's complaints about too many endings I don't it is almost Basically 20 minutes on the diet to wrap up. What is what one three? 10 hours worth of content and you get 20 minutes of wrap up if anything It's swift if anything It's like not even a third as long as the endings in the book actually are it's just bad criticism It always comes with like just it's it's based on intuition. It's not at all based on like an argument There's no assessment of anything that's superfluous or repeated. It's just it's just too long It's too long. I just don't get the intuition though. It's like has been pointed out This is like 10 hours of story the idea of 20 minutes of ending It's even if it was just the return of the king. This is a four-hour movie You get a 20 minute ending. It's like, yeah, that's still feels like a good ratio. Yeah, but again, that's kind of the point That's like it's not even a good argument on its own right because it should be what's in the ending What's in the content and you know, what really can you cut out because you need to have all these character moments? This is the end of the story's individual closure Yeah, that's got to be a relief seeing Gandalf I'm the joke about him not knowing Legolas's name Like like he's really happy when Gimli comes in he remembers Gimli The thing though you just even if you didn't meet Frodo at all you'd be like motherfucker And you know for a fucking fact He's gonna talk to Sam later and be like can we keep that one part of the story just to us It's part where I didn't throw the ring it immediately. Can we uh, we don't need to tell The jokes are made the last time that Sam started reading Frodo's account of the book and being like hold on To right actually no this did not happen the way he said you're gonna tell him that I hit smiggle with Iraq Or else I'm gonna tell them what really We Frodo writes is like a smiggle tricked Sam again and again Sam was very retarded Sam was so dumb. He actually thought he ate the lembas bread When I threw the ring Sam was very upset. He wanted to keep it. Oh fringy honor guards. That's what they're called and highlight Oh, I thought I thought you were talking about like a like if They had like their own name like an Like a sanghealy word for it or something. No, no, I was just trying to figure out I always knew they were honor guards, but I thought if there was like an in-law name I'm sure you did they were like the vanguard basically for the the high council. I forget the name. Oh, yeah. I really did I'm sure you knew. Yeah. Why did you say anything when he said vanguard exactly? The little lia You're like Frodo telling the story of Lord the rig. I'm not Oh, by the way, uh, another little detail is that aragorn's crown It matches all the crowns on the statues, which is of course what they do But it's nice to see the things like that pile up consistency. Yeah, yeah, it's nice to see some consistency Let us together rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace And george aramon asked what happens next and made his own story called game of thru Well, the song of ice and fire And it's yet to be finished And it will never be finished the latest update. Oh, that was so fucking depressing Is that the one that I sent you or is it another one? Just the one where he basically said I haven't done anything He lost he lost a hundred pages this year lost a hundred pages. What do you mean? He lost a hundred pages? How do you just lose? There's a terrible fire and he dropped them It's not like there was a writer strike and he only could just work on his book and not his eight tv shows And could have probably finished it's not like there was a pandemic where he couldn't do anything anyway And could have easily right start to remember like it's not like it's been 10 billion years Yeah, it's not as though like the expanse books were all finished before winds of winter and between uh dance of dragons They were even apologetic about the last book because it took a whole extra year It meanwhile george is like fuck you for being mad that it took me 13 years to write this fucking book You won four thousand. I think we're up to four thousand four hundred and twenty days Something like that. I can't wait for george's legacy to be the guy who didn't finish the books. It's already there It's all about to say like you don't even know what do you think about him except that that's all I know There's still a lot of stuck-offs out there that are like he doesn't owe you anything and it's like shut the fuck up That's one of those like yeah technically true kind of defenses, but sort of proves the point in making it It gets weird when you like that many years of not finishing your own story You're kind of signing in unspoken contract when you start to make a series I wouldn't have wasted my fucking time and money if I knew you weren't gonna finish them Can we talk about how this is a fucking amazing moment? Yes, we can Yeah, we need to hold off on the george hate for a second This moment's amazing Because it spotlights the even the smallest and most useless pathetic pieces of shit in the world are important That's true. Who are you referring to? You oh, damn. I'm glad that I'm important. Molly. Thank you. Yeah No one in the world and then the camera sweeping in to make sure that's the case. It's just It's beautiful and what it is that is who really is it's wonderful between the four of them their achievements are insane It's the best ending. There's a lot of endings and they're all good, but this is the best one Oh, no, I I kind of like well, but okay Getting on the boat and it's I think it's it's a bit of a Mistake to call them all endings as opposed to like that's the end of lord of the rings now We have aftermath that relates to like Leading us off into what the future of the story would be or at least It's pretty consistent with the book. That's what I mean though. It's like it's very purposeful They all serve different things that that moment there feels like the end to the story of the lord of the rings This feels like the epilogue The plot this is still the story Yeah, yeah, exactly the adventure the adventure is done This is settling back in and it's been so long since we've seen the shire and it's so nice to be back Yes It looks almost ethereal like it doesn't look Everything that we've been through that's gawd possibly considered a hobbits kill people Controversial choice, but still like I've not been convinced Anytime I hear about it that this film would have improved with the scouring put at this point They're all totally changed, man. It ain't the same anymore. They don't know That means they don't know. They don't know what we've been through. We know, you know They're that meme where they don't know what we've been through. That's what I just said I don't know what we've been through. I'm not freaking say it's just like that meme They don't know what we've been through. I think I don't think I will Damn you captain america Fringy everyone's gonna see this and they're gonna be like, ah, man. Fringy was the one who didn't do it Fringy dropped the bowl. It's true. Drop the goo. I always gotta be one And if you cut it out, I'll make sure to post it independently Dang Oh, yeah Yeah, rosy looking good even with the hairy feet. I would oh that makes it better. What are you talking about? I would Vigo mortensen and pippin make out that's the other way you describe it as vigo kiss the shit out of him when he Make it. Oh, yeah making out That implies a level of passion that extends beyond memeage. How do you pick up the threats of an old life? This is like the house everyone wants Um, I mean, it's a it's a cool house. Yeah Oh, here we go. Fringy didn't seem convinced. Oh, yeah. Jesus Fringy first You don't say the thing and now you're like I presume you mean scaled up because I don't want to be banging my I want to walk in like Gandalf My head on the chandelier every fringy. Maybe you're a crazy guy. I need to go to new zealand I need to see all this shit. Oh, yeah, I imagine they'd perceive the hell of all of this As for as long as I can it's a big part of their national idea Like it actually is and it's like attached to three Incredible movies that everyone in the world loves and it's like yep. New zealand made that possible I mean, you've got a good reason to be proud of of this Absolutely reaction, especially with how much of it is is just tied to the amount of tourism that these movies Have brought in They they knew it existed, but it was just it's pretty far away from the states But there's a lot of americans who go there I mean cheese. I learned about new zealand. I'm like fuck. I didn't even know there was an old zealand unreal though that you have All of this Incredible cultural impact from movies that are incredibly well made and all this stuff. It's all recorded Everyone knows how they got made and who buy and yet all you have to do is follow the Yeah, what do you mean? Look, it's just like no, we will find a way to do it worse Hieroglyphics on a tomb somewhere we'll do it worse some more money and take not as long In all seriousness, it's the laziness of hollywood most people are lazy there Oh, they they try to find the fucking quickest way to do a lot of this shit But funnily enough, it'll often be the like they'll they'll be stop burning money real fast, right? Like that's the story the mcu And you also have guys who are just complete bullshit artists who take on stuff that's way above Their talent levels so it looks good on the resume. They're not going to turn it down Idiot goes up to two guys who had written a third of a shitty script And says here's the tv series with all the money in the world They're not going to say no and you'll often forget as well that most people in hollywood is a very Sad amount that don't care at all for the creative process for the money. It's keloborn and gladriel. No, it's teleporno Teleporno, that's right. Teleporno Teleporno referred to him by his real name, please Uh Ian Holm legend missed that guy so much When he says that line I like legitimately Oh, oh fucking hell I mentioned this in early in earlier on in this very long episode that I adore The bbc radio drama, I think it's really good. Yeah, fucking magnificent. He plays frodo and bill, uh, bill nye plays Bill nye plays uh sam. Oh, really? That's awesome Who plays teleporno? Oh, I don't know he's in it though. Is he safe? Is he all right? Ah jeez Piston your homies on the forehead. Goodbye. Bring it back I think this as well is the first fantasy movie to win an oscar for best picture. Yeah, which I guess isn't surprising It's also so important It's super important in terms of demonstrating the legitimacy of other genres that are not conventionally considered good enough Essentially for these kinds of awards and then absolutely no other movie came anywhere close to being this It's a pretty high bar though. I'm not expecting the same level of quality I'm just saying like can we even try to get a little can we try Morbius, okay. I'll give you that one. Morbius is Whenever I say, you know, the best of any like I'm obviously Including morbius is like a we don't need to mention it It might be the only one that's all who actually saw morbius bring you did morbius isn't i haven't seen morbius no He hasn't seen it nobody's seen it that would actually probably be a really good efat movies for you guys that movie is fucking hysterical I always thought it would be like a meh lame thing No, no, it's really really funny. All right, if you if you like I watched it We should be talking about morbius of this Talking about morbius here just in my lifetime It was like after watching star wars lose Raiders of the lost ark lose all these like, you know et lose like none of these films got Et lost really et did not win best picture Raiders of the lost ark did not win best picture empire wasn't even nominated star wars Doesn't get nominated or win these time kind of awards. It's if you want to use the term loosely genre. I guess maybe Silence in the lambs kind of a horror movie. That's kind of genre. This is maybe like a thriller as well Yeah, this is the first real genre film modern genre film. I'm not going back into the 20s or 30s that that one That should blame that kind of bias again. I should have won three years in a row Well, no, it feels like the other two would have helped this one gain that You know at this come out like so to speak on its own like without the It's culturally speaking people were fucking talking about this This is not a relatable and that has to be accounted in what was once a legitimate academy awards Which are a joke now dark night should have won star wars should have won Raiders lost ark should have won et should have won You can make an argument For I this might be controversial to some people spider-man 2 could have made an argument till that least superman should have been nominated because they were Critically acclaimed and immensely popular. I I don't know what else you need. Oh a bunch of slow english dudes running That's the lord of the rings trilogy extended a beautiful incredible Incredibly difficult to defeat trilogy of quality that stands the test of time more than likely always will inspirational fucking incredibly created my god the writing the effects the performances the production design editing cinematography Everything greatest film trilogy ever made took a lot of work from a lot of passionate people and It's forever going to be remembered for those reasons. You're sad when it's over you feel lost because you're like Oh, I'm not going to see it for the first time again, but I remember going into this movie going Ah, it's this is it's ending and I don't want it to end What do you even do now? Like it's over and what it's just what do you do? It's like we said before we figured it out. We nailed it. We got it. It's only down for me Seriously, this film has some of the best special features ever committed to a dvd or a blu-ray Like not only made the greatest movies. They recorded the entire process and process like painful detail all of it And it's that uh that reunited apart video that uh, they did during the pandemic John Rhys Davies said something that I agree with that, uh I think you'll learn more about the process of making films from watching those special features than you will from Like going to a university to agreed learn about it as is often Well, remember chris duckman said that uh, he learned how difficult it is to make films from having been on a set He didn't know that it takes Effort before he went to a set himself for some reason really he thought that's what he said So like I Obviously all of us sort of gathered it from any behind the scenes But a lot of people can gather it from watching a film You can kind of see all of the shit that goes into them That's incredible and difficult and the directors go through every director like balloons and weight or loses all their hair Or it's it's crazy You juggle everything you don't know that things are gonna work you have to behave as though they will You have to keep everyone going and um, yeah, what's so endearing about the behind the scenes for Lord of the Rings Is just how much everyone seems to be On the same page, you know, we know what the fuck we're doing and they're working hard and uh the passion of it as well I'm pretty sure like every time you hit the um the final scene for any character like the The entire cast are like tearing up knowing that they won't be seeing them again Meanwhile, I don't know if you remember but it was like a viral thing of the guy who's Building his lost seeds is getting killed as Admiral Ackbar and then they were just like, okay, you could leave now. He was like Yeah, I could just See here and by it's remarkable that these films exist and that they are as great as As they are in a certain sense from a timeline perspective We got lucky, but then that's the thing that wasn't luck It was hard work and dedication and passion. Oh, and you can do nothing but hope the You know future generations would learn from it and create more We want to see more stories It really is like an easy thing to point to of you want to introduce Introduce somebody to and then set very very high expectations for films as a thing that you get to partaken as a human being The Lord of the Rings trilogy is pretty quintessential. It's got action. It's got romance. It's got comedy It's epic bit of horror a bit of horror Actually quite a bit of horror astoundingly well-balanced and incredibly inspirational. Absolutely. Oh, absolutely 100% So many amazing characters so many great arcs thematically It's incredibly poignant and meaningful and universal as well It's a very universal story hence why I think it's an easy one to recommend It's like here. This is this is storytelling. This is this thing that we like to do as people What else can you say? If you do it you one amazing task not to say it was easy But here we are 20 plus years after it was all you know shot put together and we're still watching it still loving it It's still super iconic. It's still incredibly popular. It's always there Yeah, it speaks for itself as a creation stands the test of time in another 20 years People will still be watching and talking about how much they love these movies. We certainly will be nowadays feel so disposable And like it's just trying to get the butts and seats for the first couple weekends And then after that or it's done its job whatever and that's kind of the irony of it Right like the if they were to take the time to make something like this They can make a hell of a lot of money even if you thought it was unreliable It's like you might as well make something good while you're at it You know if you don't let's just to make money. Why does one make something good? Well on that note. I hope you all enjoyed that very happy that we were able to pull it together and uh Hey, you know what make sure you watch lord of the rings at least once per year the extended editions once per year Once per week your moral obligation will keep you keep you sane too What do you say after all that after all we've been through? Thank you so much everybody. Good. Bye everybody. Thank you. Bye everyone. That's on this adventure See you later Goodbye I'm gonna animate you falling into a hell portal and that's how you're going to exit. It's gotta be a hell portal No, have it have them have them falling with candle. Can I can I fall into the portal from event horizon and it's just Oh my goodness If I can find a green screen video of that happening then sure but The only green screen hell portal I found is the one that I used to signify Robert leaving so The implication honestly the people will be that we we did it all in one of the drinker It could only survive so long and so could Robert if I ever go into a portal in one of these I want it to be to a nice place. Have it be to the shire or Would you bring me? Oh my god. Look at this bonus. You thought it was over You saw the end of return of the king and you're like, oh, that's it. It's done. It's over But then this is happening. What's happening? What is like return of the king? There's multiple endings. There's a little thing that I made once upon a time that I sometimes reference Realizing that I'm the only person that would have any fucking thing with it because it's very specific to Britain now French and Saunders dawn French and Jennifer Saunders are two British comedians who I loved growing up Did a lot of sketch comedy um stand up and uh did acting then as well They popped up both of them in Coraline. Both of them were in uh the second Poirot movie with Kenneth Branagh. There's some stuff. They just appear together that sometimes they have their own shit going on as well They're rather funny and something they did back in the day and of course, I mean, I guess early 2000s They did skip comedy and uh one of them the two main ones I remembered were Harry Potter and Lord the Rings And there's some jokes that they basically get a budget to you know in a parody way Recreate the film standard sort of sketch stuff But also try and make some form of a narrative out of it and uh then it's for like, you know Children need sort of thing. It's pretty scuffed. It's also just kind of fun It's it's the kind of parody you love where it takes up that really good That you just poke at it in the best ways you can trying to make some jokes And I thought I'd show you guys as well as those at home who have no idea what this is How many warriors does the director want to see in the big battle about half a million? All right. Oh my goodness. It's a lot. How are we gonna do that ants? How are we gonna get them all to die with like a hair dryer? That's a closet You can see it's gonna be dumb as fuck. Find 500 000 ants The middle ages actually was so Cinderella times Cinderella times Forrest Cove There was a great battle with the Dark Lord's forces like slightly low budget. Yeah a little bit Get over the pot his head And then a terrible thing happened A terrible thing The ants, oh no He's on fire Oh no, that's horrifying Oh, it's that It's like, oh shit it is Oh What the hell I'm afraid you won't see bilba. He doesn't want to see any more well wishes or malaysians today Oh, would you like some refreshments or Ian? Perhaps some cake and monkey poo? Love that you can see the set. Yeah I am most marvelous thirsty. It's the top of the set and the shitty puppet I'm the giant. I know that's why you should have this cup. I should have the big one. It makes me look small You're closer you fetch it No I dare not take it feel it was young dude, it was just quite cool There's nothing written on it look more closely I That's the joke I always Just a snow globe That's the talent here. What are you talking about? His eye Those look like the same lamps that they actually had on the set for 20 bucks. It's pretty good Twix the valleys of timote and the mountains of togloro Mountains of mountains of togloro Try and stay with me darling. Good. You have to try. Don't try to look so boy Just like the movie that guy's walking Oh god, they're gonna do the shot. Is that paper mache armor? He's sniffing my ring That was close one You just don't understand how how do they achieve these special effects In here He looks exactly like the Gilgaladak. He looks very similar to him. Yeah, he does and thrown into the fire At least you're not working with a hat No, I think it's very Harry Potter what he's doing. Well, it's just that I play Harry Potter No, I haven't seen it. I think you're marvelous. Absolutely marvelous. It should very well Oh It's just world building. Yeah, I like how the hat stays whole pointy everything something lurks in the shadows Ignore it is just Madonna Oh And Marriage of physical Who are you great sphincter of Seeking to you telepathically I am dodo Ha You say you'll go cugging Arwen and auntie of Jordan dwarf princess of nymphomanias I love the lack of grace into it. Yeah into magic into the magic bird Magic bird Thing offered to me so free I Now I will diminish and go to the west and remain Galadriel you were what sorry, I don't understand. It's in the book That was funny, I like it dumb magic bird. That's so fun Yes, I have to find a way to call someone a great sphincter of light A great sphincter of light. Who are you great sphincter of light? She was gonna pronounce uh, it was a gilgo and it's like, how do you do that if you can't close your lips? It's just like You'll go cugging Oh no What are you doing? Good memes good memes indeed. I liked it. That was good from a better time. We're making fun of good things was what you did That was more than all of love and thunder. Yeah, it was and that movie was trying. Yeah Was that really really trying hard because I don't yes It was trying very hard. I think I don't I don't well You know, I think that when he right eat my hammer he wiped the sweat from his brow like fuck That was really fucking hard right that lied down. Oh, well, he thought it was good. He thought infinity coins was good Yeah, maybe like the whole you know thing Yeah, they it was really bad. Well on that note. I hope you enjoyed everybody. That was fun on the bun Little bonus. All right. There you go. We can now we can diminish and go into the west and remain e-fap We shall I don't know Yeah, okay. Bye. Bye. I like to be violated here. Now that it's done I feel kind of sad. Goodbye. Bye everybody. Bye