 And that is like should I move morning guys welcome to another vlog It's my first full day in Nashville. I'm very tired. I'm about to walk to get Because I really might not be doing this right. Okay, so what is going on and I'm zipping it up. Oh Got it. Okay. I am about to go on a little morning walk to get some coffee It is Wednesday. I have three recordings and then tonight I need to stay in because I need to prep for my recordings tomorrow Just make sure Last night I said I was gonna stay and I ended up on Broadway But I take it home at like 8 30 or I think at 8 and I was barely nine. So I feel good I'm excited today. I'm recording with Danny Taylor, Raina Roberts, and then I'm doing the solo Danny and I are actually gonna get brunch before we record today It's gonna be like my most probably like chill day in Nashville, but I love this city Oh, if you guys are new here, by the way, I'm Kenzie. Nice to meet you. I have a podcast In which I only record in person. So I do a lot of batch recording trips So I get two weeks in New York and I'm a national and that's why I'm here I just love Nashville. I think every ounce of my being I also have self tan and it's really bad right before I'm going to record six episodes So I always love a good excuse to come and I have like a good amount of friends here, too So I actually had randomly Morgan uses in town last night. So I saw her, too Hey, guys, here is my outfit. My set is year of ours. It's so good Sweaters Abercrombie. I have these in every year have them in three different colors I'm gonna wear the cream one we can yesterday and I wear yesterday. I'm obsessed. I have a brown one with outs at home And I'm gonna head out To get coffee Love a little morning coffee walk for me. I journaled this morning as well Morning coffee walk and walking over the highway right now. It feels so good. It's like the perfect weather in the morning right now Absolutely amazing my little brother just facetimed me with this candle that I got him and he's like, can't eat I can't stop breathing. I can't believe if I'm influencing my little brother It's a big deal because he never listens to me So I feel really good about that one Anyways, I'm on this nice walk this morning to the podcast Gonna go back and get ready Maybe we're just gonna call our daddy. So let's do that, too. I am getting ready. I had such a nice walk this morning I'm doing my makeup all out of order right now and I can't turn on the vanity lights right now Which by the way good lighting Because the fan turns on but I just wanted to have a little bit of a chat with you guys And this is not something that I haven't been brought up before I think especially my last trip to Nashville I was talking about it a little bit more and that is like should I move? And here's the thing If I was living in a city that I didn't love so deeply around people that I also deeply I would be a Nashville and a heartbeat. I love Dallas. I love Texas I could live there for the rest of my life and be so happy And my family is there. My niece is there. I have a nephew on the way I love being like really involved in her life And that is a huge reason as to like why I want to stay and then also like all of my family lives in Dallas Like most I've won all of them most of them Not the nutshell is even like insanely far away since I'm on 45 flight and it's a nine hour drive Which I would bring it up because I have two dogs So nice. I actually really really don't want to leave Dallas at all But I also really really want to live in Nashville. I don't know like I love Nashville I love the way because you feel there's also a really like big Community of people who do more is what I do here and I do think it will be like beneficial for my career But I don't want to leave Dallas and I love Texas so much. See when I moved to LA You guys didn't know I live in LA. I'm 25 now. I just drink my butt I moved to LA when I was 17 I was having a graduate high school and I moved on my own a graduate early I started college early and I lived in LA for four and a half years and then I bought a house in Texas in February 2020 with the plan to go back and forth between LA and Dallas, but as time went on Obviously COVID hit and then I realized I didn't want to be in LA anyways and I thought I did when I was in I really liked it, but now it's just like definitely not the city for me and like I have like no I don't even like visiting there anymore. So like no attention the feather being there so Without being said part of me is like if I'm gonna be in Dallas through us in my life am I gonna regret not living somewhere else or Should I just like split my time and like get a place in Nashville for a bit and go back and forth? But like I have everything in life. This is also another thought that I have though. I Have everything in life that I've like really ever wanted when it comes to like being at near family being having like a Really quick one having a really close group of girls in Dallas. Like I love my life I genuinely love Dallas and love living there so much. Just check the lighting on this It just like lives far away from family too And like at that point I didn't it didn't bother me as much at that point But now that like my niece is older and like things are just happening I want to be there and the other part of me is worried that like I'm Either gonna regret not doing it or just feel stagnant or I could be doing more Whatever it is. Okay. I'm back. I'm putting my mascara on. I just thought about something though I think I'm just so afraid of Making the wrong decision I really felt this when I was in college like I felt like Everything in my life like was a result of another Decision if I made the wrong decision I would never end up wearing that needed to be the mix that which is stupid Something that Peyton sartin shared with me that was a quote that she found that is really stuck with it It's really stuck with me. I'm actually not gonna talk about it in this mascara because last time I heard myself um Something she shared with me was that your career is a jungle gym not a ladder and I think about that in life Like your life is a jungle gym not a ladder and I don't think that like by me making one decision It's gonna like set off everything But I'm worried about like both decisions being wrong like either moving to Nashville being wrong part-time or I don't know Or not moving and staying in Dallas and like keeping my life as it is And I'm also like really happy being there and I miss just being home like I mean I haven't really done that since the pandemic like the peak of pandemic 2020 whatever but like I do miss being home The other part of me is like I want to experience life to the fullest And I want to have this like big life that I love that I've created and am I making the wrong decision by staying in The place that I really want to spend the rest of my life in in 25. Does that make sense? I don't know and then also they don't get really in a rabbit hole and be like I'm 25 Like within the next 10 years I'll have kids so like am I done to like leave where my family is which is also like kind of extreme if you ask me But I think I'm gonna start to stop looking at things as it's like so serious and just like almost feeling like Things will happen whatever even though obviously this is a big financial decision So I don't mean it that way. I mean like myself in every regard and just say like you know Nothing is going to like be judgmental Whatever I decide is there what I decide and then things will work out, you know, I Don't know. I just like really can't tell I don't know I'll give it the rest of the week and then like see how I'm feeling more Um, I don't know. I also look at people pleaser. So like I don't know like upset people like whatever I'm actually not a loser when I have people who's are in certain regards. So obviously a move would be like a really big decision But again, I'm not talking about me full-time either and I was going to do slow my time between LA and Dallas anyways And that was like two years ago But I think now I just have a group of people that I don't want to leave and that I want to spend so much time with that I didn't have an LA. I had certain people that I did but I didn't have the friendships in LA that I have in Dallas So I don't know guys. I don't know. But anyways, I'm ready I'm gonna go finish up some work and then I'm heading to brunch at the house. Sorry, but it's like unloading Oh my do you miss our computers? Hey guys, here's my official outfit for the day I have my sweater on over my dress, which I don't like just love this look, but I'm thinking That while I record it when it's cold I can't just wear this sweater honestly like not wearing jeans is like a push But I'm gonna be on camera thinking like when I sit down though And I like make this cute and it looks like a skirt Like that could be a moment, you know, I have my vintage Harley Laugh how I move I always wear my purse literally right here that I have my Hers my sunglasses by the way our Amazon. I love these and wear them all the time. I'm really not like Expensive I'm not girly. I mean I would love to be but I just like I'm gonna break them all so I never like a bust anyway, so I'm going into brunch right now. Oh my god, I feel like I forgot how to vlog somehow in the past Couple hours because I just like I'm like overthinking it So this is gonna be my look For today. Okay, this is what we're doing Gonna go to brunch experience, you know, right living in Nashville. I also just love Tennessee like maybe like There's like neighborhoods. I'm you know what I think it is to you. I think I'm like ready for a New no, I don't even know I don't know this is what I mean. I think I'm sabotaging Because I love where I'm at right now But I'm like, well, you know, I've kind of been in this like similar phase of life for like year and a half two years Or maybe I'm ready for like my next chapter if you will. I don't know. Also, I know not everyone's gonna be into this But the media psychic that me and all my friends go to her name's Laura. She's great She told me that this week is gonna be very substantial So maybe that's also why I'm putting pressure on it But she was just like saying a bunch of stuff about this week And I honestly at that point was like considering cancelling this trip and like we're scheduling and that's what I was Nope, I'm going. So anyways, we're off. This is my makeup look today My skin looks like I'm breaking out, but I am going back. I'm getting better Skin facials the best facial ever. I get at the Thompson And I'm gonna start getting them like monthly because I think that's gonna be like what gets my skin back to normal All right, guys, I am on my way right now to the studio went to brunch with Danny It was really fun and now I'm gonna go record with Danny and then Reina and then myself and then I'm done around four So, okay, this is like really actually taking forever I feel like I'm like in a good mood to record and I'm like ready Sometimes you wake up and you know what you just like wake up and you're either funny or you're not funny You're like not in the moon It like stresses me out when I wake up like that on a recording day because like I have to be funny You're like on you know All right y'all we're leaving the studio it is 4 p.m. I actually forgot that I have College friends. Oh my god. What is wrong with this lens up? There's just not the vibe guys. We're back I forgot that I have college friends who moved here. They just text me so I might go see some of them Um, I don't know I need to get home and prep tomorrow's episode So I feel okay if I do need to go do something tonight, but the episodes went great loved it Want to do dinner. It's just everything's really like coming into place here. I love it here So I'm gonna go home. I would love to be able to wash my hair immediately, but I don't think so All right guys, I am heading to dinner. I just got some work done We got our photos back for our next launch for the opine for the scars and beanie and I'm so excited They're so cute. I'm just really ready. I have so much going on in October especially good month This is my outfit, so I'm going to get dinner with Two of my friends one of them both in the same time period one of them We went to college together and the other one is the brother of someone that went to college together. It's two boys Two boys. They're like grown. I would never like it makes me feel uncomfortable Still to this day to say like woman or man like I still say boy and girl Anyways, oh, I thought I watched this. Um, I'm gonna meet them For dinner, I'm gonna go see George first and I think we're gonna get like case over something at the meet-up with James for dinner It's gonna be a nice little reunion weirdly enough I'm a national but I'm seeing like most of my friends for LA not most my friends really people I've been seeing last night or LA tonight LA so anyways heading out I'm so Hungry like so hungry and I have tomorrow's episodes perhaps and I'm really excited I think I might actually combine today and tomorrow Just because like it's two recording days, so I can't record like most of them in the day You know me. I don't know we'll see So anyways, I kind of like my hair right now something bad here yesterday, but it's like kind of came together Starting my morning off with 80 and Emma Chamberlain Good morning guys, I was gonna say welcome back to the vlog and I realized it is just the next morning I Woke up. I slept in a little bit. I actually stayed up really late last night, so I went am I okay? This is got to chill. I Met up with a friend from college and then a friend's brother from college and we just have all been friends forever So it was really good to see them as people that you like don't have to see for like two years And then it's the literal exact same and you're like closer with them than you are most people So I had a really good night stayed out later than I normally would have literally just hanging out at a friend's house We went to once Upon a time in like France or something like that. I forget the name of the restaurant. It was good And then we just hung out there I came home and then I watched actually the D'Amelio's reality show and then it was midnight So the new episode of the Kardashians really crazy for me because I always go to bed early So I woke up at 8 it's not already 10 Watched in the Chamberlain's architecture that I'm like really watching a lot of stuff these days And I'm now on my way to pick up some coffee I think I'm sending it to Starbucks because it's a drive-thru and then I want to do a little walk this morning It's intending a park I don't have that much time because I need to be in the studio by one So I still need to go home and get ready and stuff But today I'm recording with Ashley cook jenica and Annika and then Rachel I always want to say rocky, but she's obviously married now So I'm excited for those and then I'm done with my batch recordings and I've got the weekend ahead of me in Nashville I'm okay random but for those of you girlies who are on your like deconstruction journey, I guess would be the phrase I Have been on my journey. I would give it a pass like two maybe more than that two years I don't know. I guess like two years and I don't know. I like I don't know where I stand, but I'm like things are not as like Repulsive like for honestly, that's like kind of harsh, but that's how I feel Um, these are not as like repulsive to me these days and maybe I'll maybe I'll dip my toes back in but maybe I shouldn't Maybe I did all this work to feel better and I feel better because I'm not involved. You know any meme So I don't know just thinking it loud It could be because I'm in a new city and I'm always like really thinking at that time Oh, please tell me this is a drive-thru. I Hate that I'm not person I just don't know it could be because I'm like been with a bunch of friends who are like kind of still in that world recently I don't have like anger. I just have things that I'm like You're really heavily don't agree and I also hate when people are like, oh my god, but it's not God It's not the church. I'm like, I'm gonna need sad a problem with God It's not a problem with y'all like chill out. You know what I mean like and it's not even everyone there Like I'm really just being funny But it's like I know that and say it was like why why do you think you're gone? Like that's literally not what I was saying I don't know not everyone will relate to this But a lot of you will because I get a unbelievable amount of messages. I will say whenever we talk about this Was the other annoying thing? Okay The other annoying thing too is that there's always the random people who like see it in a title or like I talked about whatever And they're like Kenzie's like exposing it is like so rude and is what I'm like I actually talk about it in all seriousness when I like sit down talk about on the podcast Like I think a very respectful way and at some point like you It is okay for me to share my story and like I think it should race Some alarm if everyone is using the phrase exposing it's like what do I have to expose? Maybe that's on you. You know what I mean like it's really annoying It's also really frustrating because I not that I should care at these people think but like naturally I do because you spend a lot of time like your life with these people By the way, if you guys are new here I was like really involved in church at a certain point for like a year or two and I like went to like a weird college and whatever so anyways I like really try my best to talk about it in a very respectful manner So it's really frustrating when people who like literally are not even involved in my life like say that I'm saying all these things When I'm literally not and like if I wanted to I could but I'm I like go out of my way to be like really respectful about it and Like try my best but the whole point I guess is like I'll never please these people anyways And I'm like I don't even I literally haven't talked to you in two years Like why are you saying that and if you actually listen to what I was saying? It wasn't bad, and I think that's another issue is that like why are you so concerned of people exposing? You know what I mean, and I'm not exposing if I like listen it would take of no I'm kidding. I was gonna say it was a very large book deal for me to expose. I'm kidding. I'm kidding Now I'm being funny and now people are gonna be mad, but it's just like I actually don't say rude things And I am valid in my feelings and how quite literally everyone else will so anyways That is that that's just my morning deconstruction and journey because I really don't talk about it that much because I just I don't know I'm like really over it But I don't know Maybe maybe something could change What I was trying to say too is that it should maybe set us some alarms if they're using the the verbiage Exposed because if there's like nothing to expose then what would I be exposing? Do something like they're saying it not me. You know what I mean? Love my outfit today. It's like it's so cute. I'm wearing this bag. It's Fendi, but I got on the real real Probably like two or three years ago Love this bag for a long then I have this top on from shop rumors, or is it just called rumors? It's probably just called rumors. I've saw it like on social media or something and I made one pretty quick this tank top that I have on is from Zara or Princess Polly. It's just a brown tank top and then I have Abercrombie curve love jeans the best jeans ever and My favorite boots like round boots from Miranda Lambert's line and I did my makeup I put on the Giorgio Armani Foundation and I've been putting on the flawless filter underneath it Which I don't really know why I just got an habit and it looks a lot better today It looks better in the other room. I don't know. The thing that sucks is that I have oh my god I have like really bad self tan hands, so I've been wearing long sleeves, but like for this recording outfit I'm literally gonna be like this is how I'm gonna sit Camera can't see me, you know, I'm like hiding them humiliating it is so anyways I'm gonna head off to the studio. I think I'm gonna grab a little snack on the way I'm not hungry enough for lunch, but like I'll be there until 4 p.m. Guys. Look at how cute this view is I just love it here Well, you guys can't even talk like everything looks better in person guys look who I'm with y'all were the most requested on Yes, because I asked on Q&A's and then I discovered you guys from that and then I like benched everything and that's my dm do It was such a good time. I'm so honored to be your first podcast. Anyways, this has been great We're taking some pics Just finished recording today recorded with Ashley cook Jinnika and Annika and then Rachel Formerly Raki it was such a good recording day. I loved all the girls We just had a great time obviously on a different camera right now That's probably it looks a little bit different But I'm actually heading back to my Airbnb right now and I'm meeting my friend Hayden We became friends Last time I was here because he worked at the studio recorded on and I was obsessed with him and now our friends So he's coming to meet up and I think we're gonna go get some drinks somewhere. I don't know where the night will lead me We will see I have a few things that you do when I get back and then I'll be like ready to go out You know, I hope these vlogs aren't boring when I'm going into the studio because I can't really film in the studio There's like not much to film. I just love you guys so much and I'm just so grateful I literally have my dream job and I just love what I do so much and I just get to meet such cool people and Like builds like so many like friendships that are just great Like I am so grateful and I just love my life and it's all because of you guys So, thank you so much. I feel like I'm being really annoying in this vlog So I'll stop. I feel like I've already said that in this vlog. I can't remember. It's been Recording days. I just like go into like a different haze So I'm heading back now Listening to country music sometimes I listen I have like certain songs that I listen to that are comfort songs And I always listen to them when I'm like traveling and recording. All right guys. I'm back. Here's a friend Hayden Hey, I think you're probably in the last national blog like a second at least Um Drinking of course, which is what we're about to go do but jennika and anika brought me a gift Which is so sweet of them and I just opened it and apparently these are incredible So we're gonna do a live taste test this beautiful natural candle. I just love it. They're like the cutest people ever They're like the most incredible duo people ever. Okay, it says time see you had them where I used to make Literally we used to make these we would take like packets of like ranch and then like red pepper you would bake on I've never had it. It's so good They're so good. I'm not fucking playing. It's so good. No, they're so good Wow, yeah, amazing. Thank you guys so much. I love you forever. I'm forever indebted to you