 وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال وأقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوله الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلت والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كما always we begin with the praise of Allah and by asking Allah to exalt the mention of grand peace to our messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions we are speaking about the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife as part of this short course brought to you by المدرسة العمارية on the topic of the Muslim family and we had spoken about some of the obligations that the husband has and some of the obligations that the wife has and in the previous episode we spoke about the severity and the importance and the greatness of the obligation of the wife towards her husband what we're going to do now is continue on with some of the rights and expectations and obligations that relate to the wife in Islam and we're going to set the scene with an ayah in which Allah وقرنا في بيوتك ولا تبرجنا تبرج الجاهلية الأولى وأقمن الصلاة وأتينا الزكاء وأطيعنا الله ورسوله إنما يريد الله ليذهب عنكم الرجس أهل البيت ويطاهركم تطهيرا الله عز وجل ويتركوا أمره ويجبوا في حياتك وينقذوا لن يفعل قسلتك في طريق المساعدة في عدد المجرد ويجب على أماية ويقوموا برعى ويضعوا لزكاء وأعبه الله ويسجل الله only wants to remove from you الرجس أهل البيت هو wants to remove anything حيث أن يكون هناك أجهزة منك أو أجهزة من المملكة ، صلى الله عليه وسلم ، وإنه يريد أن يقوم بمملكة مع أجهزة المملكة. الآن ، هذا الآية ، لا يوجد أجهزة بشكل أفضل ، يساعدها إلى أجهزة المملكة صلى الله عليه وسلم ، رضي الله عنه. أنها يقوم بمملكة أفضل من المملكة ، وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة ، وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة ، وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة ، وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة ، وأنها يقوم بملكة أفضل من المملكة it is better for a woman to remain within her home and to be based around her home and some of the scholars they mentioned the statement وقرنا في بيوتكن this word وقرنا it indicates القرار that her place where she is safe and she is comfortable is to be around the home and we have uh sort of alluded to issues relating to a woman working and we've said that that's not necessarily حرام in of itself it's not something which Allah has made حرام but it is something which has conditions for it among the conditions is that she has the permission of her husband and we've spoken about the woman's obligation to obey the husband from the conditions is that her work is not حرام doesn't involve being around the opposite agenda mixing with the opposite agenda things relating to the aura and so on from the conditions is that it doesn't take away from her other responsibilities that Allah has given her but that doesn't stop the fact that this آية tells us that one of the expectations we have of our wives is that they will be primarily based around the home and as we said that doesn't mean that they're never allowed to go out the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he told us not to the female slaves of Allah from going to the مساجد وبيوتهن خيرنهن and their houses are better for them so here this concept of being based around the home making the home her base that is i think a reasonable expectation based upon this آية and based upon the many أحديث which indicate it from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and we're going to hear some of the أحديث around this topic of being based around the home and her responsibility and her obligations as it relates to her home and as it relates to her children so we have a حديث and the حديث is that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم نهر رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أن تكلم النساء إلا بإذن أزواجهن أخرجه الطبراني حديث نرated by الطبراني or recorded by الطبراني that the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم forbade that women be spoken to except with the permission of their husbands and what this means is that for in terms of the aura of the woman and her protecting her aura is that it's not right for a man to approach a woman and start a conversation with her except with the permission of her husband it's a married lady it's not right for him to walk up to her and start a conversation with her except with the permission of her husband and that's an expectation from among the rights of the husband that another man who is foreign to his wife it's not her father not her brother not her paternal or maternal uncle comes to her and like a strange man and just starts talking to her like that just starts a conversation with her that is it goes against the rights of the husband the husband has the expectation that no strange man that is foreign to that woman his wife is going to go up to her and talk to her like that and start a conversation with her like that unless there is a of course a haja a need that indicates that and there could be a need that indicates that for some reason she could be out shopping or something like that there could be somebody who does this belong to you or something like that these are things for which there is a need but generally a husband should have an expectation that his wife will not be having conversations with men that are not محرم to her except with his permission and that's what's indicated by this حديث of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that he forbade women be spoken to except with the permission of their husbands or next حديث حديث of ابني عباس رضي الله عنهما لا يخلو أن رجل بمرأة إلا ومع هذا محرم ولا تسافر المرأة إلا مع ذي محرم والحديث عند الإمام المسلم في صحيحه this حديث is recorded by الإمام المسلم in his صحيح from the حديث ابني عباس let not a man be alone with a woman except while there is a محرم with her and let not a woman travel except when there is a محرم with her now this حديث is not specific to marriage this covers the married woman and the unmarried woman however the reason we brought this حديث here in this particular part is in terms of the married woman it's her husband who would be the primary person you would expect to be the محرم in that situation so of course not the only محرم but we can take from this that this lady she's not allowed to travel without her husband's permission and she's not allowed to be alone with another man again except with her husband's permission Allahهما unless this is a محرم of hers so the reason we brought this even though this is general and it could be her father it could be her brother who is the محرم when she's married it's her husband's permission that is more deserving and that's why the scholars they say that the husband's permission and the husband an obedience to the husband for a woman takes precedence over the obedience to her parents and it takes precedence over the wishes of her parents once she gets married the obligation to her husband is greater than the obligation to her parents and that doesn't mean they don't have an obligation because it doesn't negate the statement of الله عز وجل وعبد الله ولا تشرك به شيء and إحسانة واشيب الله and don't make any partner with him and be good to your parents that doesn't get negated but the husband's the obligation of obedience to the husband it takes priority so even in these issues of her traveling the husband can expect that his wife will not travel without asking his permission and he can also expect that she will not be alone with a non محرم except with when there is another person dead when when the husband is there or the brother or the father is there and as we said it's not specific to marriage but it is a حديث which has a relation to marriage as it relates to the woman particularly with regard to the traveling that that woman would the husband would expect that she wouldn't travel without asking her husband's permission and again you know when we speak about these things i understand that there's often a lot of negativity around these kind of things and and a lot of it to be honest with you it comes from the non-muslims and it comes from the kind of attitudes that they are putting forward towards our Muslim women and Muslim men indeed Muslim men as well and the attitudes of not submitting to الله of not submitting to the laws of الله of painting this as some kind of oppression ultimately we've spoken extensively about the rewards of the woman that obeys her husband we've spoken extensively about the weight of the responsibility upon the husband to do what is right and a severe punishment that he is liable to if he oppresses his wife and we've spoken about all these things so it's not right for a person to look at this and say this is you know not this is oppressive towards the woman she's not even allowed to travel Allah didn't prevent you from something except for a reason that is beneficial to you men and women anything الله made haram for you anything الله restricted you from is from his rahmah from his mercy that he has restricted you from that thing so there has to be harms in it whether you know those harms or whether you don't know those harms and submitting to الله is what this and ultimately if it were the other way around the man would have to do the same thing if it were the man that had to ask his wife's permission to travel and if that was what الله had legislated then the man would have no choice except to submit to that because ultimately we are here to worship الله and to submit to الله and if that means that i have to obey a certain person or that a woman has to obey her husband or the man has to obey the ruler in authority over him or the man has to obey his mother for example ultimately if that's what it takes for الله to be pleased with me then that is i'm i'm going to be satisfied with that رضيت بالله رب و بالإسلام الدينة و بي محمد in صلى الله عليه وسلم و نبيه i'm content with Allah as my lord with islam as my religion with محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم as my prophet and sadly in this time there is a strong push from among the non-muslims and indeed some of the مسلمين they're trying to break people out of this system that Allah has put and ultimately i can promise you anyone who tries to go outside of the obligations that Allah has set for them and the and the framework that Allah has put for them they're gonna lose out at the end of the day they're gonna lose out in the dunya they're gonna lose out in the they're gonna lose the dunya they're gonna lose the ultimately whoever recognizes it recognizes it and whoever doesn't doesn't and i think there's a beautiful example i'm going to give you and that is the example of when ibrahim he left hajar and ismail without any vegetation beside the sacred house of Allah in when ibrahim left her in that place she asked a very very important question and this question to be honest is the only question a woman should ever need to ask when it comes to the rights of the husband the rights of the wife she said did Allah command you to do this because if Allah commanded you to do this he will never ever cause us to be lost if Allah commanded you to do this so if a husband is telling his wife that you need to ask my permission before you travel if it is Allah that said that or the prophet ﷺ who said that then that woman she doesn't have an opinion she doesn't have any choice in the matter وما كان لي مؤمن ولا مؤمنة إذا قاضى الله ورسوله أمرى أن يكون لهم الخيرة من أمرهم it's not for a believing man or a believing woman if Allah and his messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any say in it at all not for the Muslim man not for the Muslim woman الله أمرك بهذا did Allah command you to do this however if the husband is saying from his own you know his own ideas his own culture his own misconceptions that is a different matter but if it is something that Allah commanded then don't let our sisters in islam be deceived by those who don't want any good for them because at the end of the day i can't speak on behalf of every muslim man i can only speak on behalf of myself but i know that Allah سبحانه وتعالى الله عز و جل الرحمن الرحيم the most merciful the most kind the most noble the most generous الله عز و جل doesn't make laws except that those laws are good for you and they're in your interests so you should recognize that and you should ask the same question هاجر asked did Allah command you to do this because if Allah commanded you to do it it's not about obedience to the husband it's about obedience to Allah because obedience to the husband is only a branch or a subset of obedience to Allah سبحانه وتعالى it comes underneath that and it's there because of that and so ultimately if Allah commanded us to do something we have to submit to that so i just said i brought these issues up because it is something you hear a lot these days you know look at the and yes there are people look at certain countries and they say look at the way women are threatened in this country look at the restrictions upon women in this country but ultimately what concerns us is not a country it doesn't concern us what one country or another country does it only concerns us الله أمراكب حده did Allah command you to do this that's what concerns us if Allah commanded you it's not for a believing man or a believing woman if Allah and his messengers decree a matter that they should have any say in it or complete submission complete submission to Allah and to what Allah أزواجل decreed and that's required from men it's required from women so that's just something to bear in mind when you hear about these obligations and we had also already to be fair and balanced we had already spoken about the severity of the obligations upon the husband as well and how serious he has to take those and how much responsibility that Allah أزواجل described described the wife as an amana in the sight of Allah ميثاقا غاليضا a weighty covenant and it is something very serious on both sides so nobody should should hear restrictions and then start to you know that the shaitan comes to them and then they start feeling that they that they are being oppressed or that they are not being فالي for everything in the religion of Allah أزواجل is balanced and everything in the religion of Allah أزواجل is fair it's also important to note on that topic that there are two types of permission that a husband can give and this may help to lighten the burden somewhat or make things easier between the husband and the wife one of those types of permission is a general permission i.e that she doesn't need to ask the husband every single time she knows that he doesn't have a problem with it or he says yeah whenever you want to do that go ahead so here there is no it's it's an understood and implied permission and then there is an explicit permission where he clearly says that this you know she asks him for one thing one time and he says yeah that's okay or he says no that's not okay or he says you know ask me next time or whatever it is so it is the case that in many of these issues of permission and authority it might be the case that the wife has an implicit permission from a husband like he never minds doing that we now come to a hadith narrated in مصنى المام أحمد صنى أبي داودا جامع الترمذي from our mother عشا رضي الله عنها that she said أي ممراءة وضعت ثيابها في غير بيت زوجها فقد هتكت سترا ما بينها وبين الله she said رضي الله عنها whichever woman removes her clothing in any place other than her husband's house has removed the barrier or the covering that is between her and between Allah has torn down the covering that is between her and between Allah so one of the expectations the husband can have of his wife is that she is not going to take off her outer garments her covering her abaya her hijab and so on she's not going to take that off except in her husband's house or in a place where she has that her husband is okay with that and she has that degree of security and safety so husband's house it could be a father's house it could be that her husband provides for her a place like a hotel room and he takes her there and he says it's okay for her to you know for her to just wear her ordinary clothes there but generally speaking he can have an an understanding and an expectation that she isn't going to remove her hijab in the broad sense of the word except in her husband's house and as we can see in this حريث whichever woman removes her clothing in other than the house of her husband she has torn down the barrier that is between her and between الله so the matter is quite an important one and it is an obligation upon a woman that she's careful about her hijab and she's careful about where she takes it off of course there may be places where that's safe and there may be places where the husband doesn't have a problem with that but generally speaking this should be the default position and this is a big thing and it's a thing that a lot of people don't know about and a lot of people break those rules and go against this this particular prohibition and for example classic example is our weddings and likewise you know things like changing rooms in shops where or even places like gyms and stuff like that where there might be ccdv cameras and things like that where a woman might take off most of her clothing or all of her clothing or some of her clothing or change her clothing into different clothing outside of her husband's house so the matter is not one that is you know it shouldn't be taken lightly and it should be considered to be the default principle that the only place she removes her clothing is in her husband's house or the places where her husband has got that he doesn't have a problem with it and a place where it's safe for her to do so as for the culture these days where people might get changed completely you know like in a gym in a store in a shop where they have the changing rooms or in other places a friend's house or whatever to change clothes or whatever then this is something that you know it has to be taken seriously and it's one of the rights that the husband has and the expectations that the husband can have and as we said it's all related around the woman being based around the home وقرنا في بيوتكم our next حديث relates to a slightly different matter this حديث of علي رضي الله عن أن فاطمة شكت ما تلقى في يديها من الراحة فأتت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم تسأله خادمة فلم تجد فذكرت ذلك لعائشة فلما جاء أخبارته فهذا حديث حديث عالي رضي الله عن that فاطمة رضي الله عنها she complained that she was getting sore hands because of she she was working in the house and her hands were becoming blister and sore she came to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to ask for a servant and he wasn't home so she mentioned her need to aisha she told aisha رضي الله عنها to tell the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that this was her need and when the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came aisha informed the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم about what فاطمة حدسات قال فجاء أنا وقد أخذنا مضاجعنا فذهبت أقوم فقال مكانك فجلس فجلس بيننا حتى وجدت برض قدمي برض قدميه على صدري فقال ألا أدل لكم على ما هو خير لكم من خادم he said so the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came and we had both already laid down to go to sleep to go to bed and so i went to stand up and he said stay in your place so he sat down between us until i found the coolness of his feet on my chest he said shall i not tell you both something which is better for you than having a servant حدس نرated by بخاري and others and in some of the narrations it also mentions about the about the تكبير as being 34 so the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said when you go shall i not tell you something better than a servant when you go to your bed or when you lie down to go to sleep say the تكبير 33 times and then say the تسبيح سبحان الله 33 times and then say الحمد لله say the حمد 33 times this is better for you than having a servant so i'm going to ask you a question why do you think we brought this حديث in the topic of the obligations of the wife and the responsibilities that she has what does this حديث have what is the connection between this حديث and the obligations and responsibilities of the wife have a think so hopefully you had to think about that you pause the video i had to think about it the reason we brought it is if فالتما was required to serve her husband and her hands became sore because of serving her husband in the home then we can take from this the obligation of the wife serving her husband and that's something that not everybody agrees upon and so therefore we had to highlight it is it a responsibility of a woman to serve her husband as in to serve food for him to maybe bake bread for him or whatever the staple food is for her to iron his clothes for her to you know just to do that generally serve him around the home well if i'll if فالتما the daughter of محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم و رضي الله و عنها her hands became sore from serving her husband and the prophet sism did not agree to give her a servant then this is an evidence for the obligation of a woman to serve her husband in what is معروف in what is customary and usual according to the place that she lives according to the culture that she's within according to her status and his but it is expected that she will one of her obligations is الخدمة و خدمة و الزوج to look after her husband and take care of him our next حديث عن ابدي الله ابني عمر رضي الله عنهما أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يجوز المراءة عطية إلا بإذن زوجها he said ابد الله ابن عمر that the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said it's not allowed for a woman to give a gift except with the permission of her husband and this would indicate that it's not allowed to give a gift from his wealth and there are other narrations that indicate that even in terms of how she spends her wealth she should also seek the permission of her husband for that and this is one of the general narrations I'll tell you any anything that she gives out that she should give it with the permission of her husband i.e. from his wealth and what indicates this also is a حديث which is narrated by ابي أمام الباهلي قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في خطبته عام حجة الودع يقول لا تنفق امراءة شيء من بيت زوجها إلا بإذن زوجها قيل يا رسول الله ولا الطعام قال ذاك أفضل أموالينا تحديث is narrated by دود is narrated by it's been narrated by ابن ماجه ترمذي and others that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was heard to say by أبي أمام الباهلي on the in the farewell حج that he said a woman is not allowed to spend out of her husband's house except with the permission of her husband she said all messenger it was said all messenger of الله not even to give out food the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said this is the best of our wealth so not even to give out food from her husband's house from her husband's cupboard except with his permission and as we said there could be a general permission for that and there could be a specific permission for that the very last حديث we're going to cover in the rights of the husband and the obligations of the wife and indeed actually we can we really can put this in in the mutual obligations but I didn't bring it and I wanted to bring it at the end when I was going over and reviewing my notes and the works of the scholars and their statements about what they said the rights of the husband and the rights of the wife were I found that there was one that I really should have I really should have highlighted in the topic of equality where the husband and wife are equal but I think it's him it's nice one to end on and that is a حديث narrated by عبادة ابن الصامت أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قضى أن لا ضرار ولا ضرار this حديث is narrated by ابن ماجه and others from عبادة ابن الصامت that he said that the messenger of الله صلى الله عليه وسلم judged there be no ضرار and no ضرار now the scholars they have different understandings of these two words they both are very similar to one another in terms of linguistically ضرار and ضرار but it could be deliberate harm or accidental harm it could refer to harm to yourself and harm to other people it can refer to harm that is done that affects somebody else and harm that comes back upon a person a lot of different a lot of different explanations of this term لا ضرار ولا ضرار but what we want to highlight here is that it's not allowed for a man to harm his wife nor is it allowed for a woman to harm her husband in any way not for a man to harm his wife nor for a woman to harm her husband and really this is a right that is there is no matter that there is equality in it because the prophets I didn't mention it in regard to the woman or in regard to the man rather he made it a general rule for everybody لا ضرار ولا ضرار no husband is allowed to harm his wife and no wife is allowed to harm her husband so that brings us to the end of this episode which we've talked about and we've completed our discussion on the obligations of the wife in response to the husband and if you look at the way this has been structured and I've done my best to structure it in a way that is helpful is that we've started off with the things in which there is equivalence broadly speaking some degree of equivalence then we've gone on to the things in which there is a kind of an opposition and then we've talked about some of the things which the husband has to do some of the things which the wife has to do and now in شاء الله تعالى we're going to talk about in the next episode problems that happen between husband and wife المشاكل الزوجية the problems that happen between husband and wife and enemy could be said like why do why are we dealing with this why are we not always talking about happy families because reality is that as you know there is no marriage that doesn't go through one or two bumps in the road from time to time that's part of the nature of Bani Adam and so in شاء الله تعالى in the subsequent coming up episodes we're going to look at the problems that exist between husband and wife and how those problems can be solved that's coming up in the next installment of this short course on the Muslim family brought to you by المدرسة العمارية and until then السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته والله أعلم والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه يجمعي السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com