 وَأَقُولُوا فِي القُرْآنِ مَا جَاءَتْ بِهِ اَيَاتُوهُ فَهُوَ الْكَارِيمُ الْمُنْزَالُونَ وَأَقُولُوا قَالَ اللَّهُ جَلَّ جَلَالُوهُ وَالْمُصْطَافَ الْهَاديِ وَلَا أَتْ أَوَّالُونَ الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام علي عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته today we're going to start a new segment and this is the last section of the course and the topic is the topic of صلاة الراحم keeping ties with family members and after we've now talked about we started with marriage and then children and then parents so as the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said ثم أدنك أدنك then the closest one and then the next closest one so the natural way to branch out now is to look at the wider family members and to look at the topic of صلاة الراحم if you do have questions you're more than welcome to ask them related to the material that we've done in the Muslim family course by emailing questions at amu.org and make sure you put the Muslim family in the subject line and we will make at least one episode at the end to cover the questions that people had about the course so the topic for today is صلاة الراحم keeping ties with family members and this word is made up of obviously there's two words this phrase صلاة and رحم so how do we what is the meaning of each of those of each of those words so first of all رحم لغة لنوستيكلي it refers of course to the womb the word رحم it refers to the womb however it is then used the word is then used after that for anyone that you have a tie to through your mother or father anyone that you have a tie like a blood tie to blood relations that's what the word الرحم is used for and we've heard that Allah is right in the beginning of the course we spoke about how Allah سبحانه وتعالى made باني آدم نسبا وصهرا made for them a نسب and a صهر he made for them ties through blood and ties through marriage so what we're talking about now are the ties through blood and that is why it's used for القرابة the people who are close to you from your relatives who are related to you through blood ties through your mother or through your father and as for الصلاة it means to connect the word itself it means to connect from وصلة يصلو it means to connect and here the scholars they say that they give it by example they give for example the example of ازيارة وتواصل and the example of انفاق المال they give the example of visiting them they give the example of communicating staying in touch with them so how do we define exactly what is meant by the صلاة the keeping ties how do we we've got some examples some of them say that it means to visit them some of them say it means to be in touch with them some of them say that it means to offer them money when they need it so how do we actually define it so here we can define it by what the عرف defines انه صلاة what people understand to be صلاة وما جر به العرف انه قطيع فهو قطيع and whatever the understanding or the عرف of the people is that it's cutting or family ties then it's cutting because here we don't have a clear definition for what is meant by صلاة by keeping the ties so here it goes back to العرف it goes back to the matter of what people understand what is commonly understood so for some in some societies it might be commonly understood for example that certain relatives you you need to visit them let's say for example on عيد and that is considered صلاة and if you don't visit them it's considered قطيع it's considered cutting off from them in other places a phone call would suffice the fact that you phone someone or you you know you have them on instant messaging you message them from time to time there's no strict definition but it is what the عرف specifies what people what the people come together and it's commonly understood that this is what it means to keep ties then that's what it means to keep ties and what's commonly understood that this is cutting off then that's what it means to that's what it means to cut off and that's why some of the scholars they said it is every action that you do towards your relatives is considered a means of keeping ties and not pushing them away and cutting off from them sometimes this is by offering them wealth sometimes it is by taking care of their needs sometimes it is by serving them sometimes it's by visiting them and sometimes it is by communicating with them so here we have a comprehensive discussion every action that you do towards your relatives that is considered that is among the things that people consider to be keeping ties that doesn't cause them to be pushed away from you and doesn't cause them to be cut off from you sometimes this is wealth it's money sometimes it means that when you know that one of them is in need or has a debt that you try with whatever you have necessarily you have enough to pay it off but whatever you have to help them out financially sometimes you know they have a need for something you know that relative they need something and you go and you try to help them with that need it could be any kind of need that they need to do something or achieve something or they have a problem somewhere and you go to try and help it try and solve it for them it could be by serving them when they come to visit you by you putting out food for them and giving it to them and serving it to them and it could be by visiting them and it could be by calling them or messaging them and that's why even in this time the understanding of Salat al-Rahim could be affected by things like technology because before it might be the case that perhaps a person would write a letter now you could communicate with even distant relatives instantly with great ease so I would encourage people very strongly SubhanAllah we talk about the dangers of social media the dangers of the internet but there are some amazing أبواب الخير means to good in the internet and social media use it to keep in touch with your relatives use it for Salat al-Rahim for keeping in touch with people they would say this person is a really good relative because we see them keeping in touch with us on social media and you know they ask about us and so on perhaps they call us or video conference or whatever it might be ultimately Islam didn't put a specific definition for it to make it general for the things which people in your society in your culture consider to be Salat al-Rahim consider to be keeping in touch of course that doesn't enter into the haram لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق there is no obedience to creation and disobedience to the creator and likewise as we said there should be no harm caused which is a harm شرعي حام should not be caused to the person through Salat al-Rahim such that he becomes poor gives all his money away and then suffers because of it but what people in the culture in the society typically consider to be Salat al-Rahim that's what you have to do so Salat al-Rahim differs from culture to culture in some cultures there may be a very strong demands or very strong emphasis and the expectations of the relatives are very high and in other cultures the expectations of the relatives may be very small you know maybe very small it could be anything to do that things like visiting or going to a wedding when there is a wedding in the family that could be a kind of Salat al-Rahim again we can't go into the haram and we can't go into that which brings about extreme harm upon someone like he has to travel to the other side of the world and he doesn't have enough money to be able to do that but if it's within the ability and it's not falling into the haram for example going to the weddings many cultures consider this to be a part of Salat al-Rahim that if you don't go it's considered that you are cutting off it's a قطيع it's an act of cutting off a مقاطع it's considered that you're cutting off from them and it may be down to the way that they are trapped in the home it may be down to how much they visit them call them so Alhamdulillah the topic is one where there is flexibility however it's important that the relative doesn't feel like they're being cut off from know that within the limits of the Halal and the Haram we don't want to fall into the Haram and we can't obey creation and disobedience to the Creator but we generally speaking within the limits of what Allah has made Halal we don't want our relatives to feel like we don't keep ties with them and no doubt the relatives are of different levels in the sight of Allah عز وجل and that's why Allah سبحانه وتعالى told us وقول الأرحام بعضهم أولا ببعض في كتاب الله إن الله بكل شيء عليم الله عز وجل said at the end of Surah Al-Anfal that the the relatives are of different types أولا ببعض some of them are more deserving than others in the Book of Allah إن الله بكل شيء عليم so no doubt for example the parents they have a place of precedence as does all of those who have the title Al-Walid like Al-Jad the grandfather and the grandmother and the brothers and sisters they're not all not everyone is the same your brother and sister is not the same kind of as you're going to have for your relative who is your second cousin twice removed no doubt that the two of them are not going to be the same وقول الأرحام بعضهم أولا ببعض في كتاب الله the relatives some of them have a higher status than others there are many different levels each according to the nearness and each according to the society and the expectations and so on so even your distant relatives it might be something as simple as being in touch with them over social media sending them an occasional message maybe a group message where you message out to all your relatives hoping everyone is well asking about them سبحان الله small thing you do and with the people who are closer to you it may be that the expectations are greater for example siblings brothers and sisters the expectations may be greater and higher because وقول الأرحام بعضهم أولا ببعض some of them are more important and more deserving than than others as for the obligation of سلط الرحم in the Quran and the Sunnah the obligation of keeping ties with your relatives الله عز وجل He told us in Surat Al-Ra'id والذين يصلون ما أمر الله به يوصد ويخشون ربهم ويخافون سوء الحساب الله عز وجل He told us those people who they keep ties with what Allah has commanded them to keep ties with and here the scholars of Tafsi' they said من الرحم والقرابة from their family members and their people their close relatives they keep ties with what Allah has commanded to keep ties with and they have خشية of Allah عز وجل they fear Allah based upon knowledge and they are fearful of a bad account until Allah عز وجل said أولئك لهم أقب الدار they are the ones who will have the final abode of paradise because they keep ties with their relatives what Allah عز وجل mentioned about them and Allah سبحانه وتعالى He also mentioned later on in Surat Al-Ra'id والذين ينقضون عحت الله من بعد مثاقه ويقطعون ما أمر الله به يوصد عز وجل الله عز وجل قال لهم الذين ينقضون أولئك بعد أنهم أصدقهم ويقطعون أولئك لهم to keep ties with from the relatives and they create corruption on the earth they are the people who will be cursed and they will have the worst of abodes the fire of جهنم والعياذ بالله and جبير بالمطعم رضي الله عن لا يدخل الجنة قاطع that the one who cuts the ties of his relatives will not enter paradise will not enter paradise and the narrator one of the narrators from the hadith he said that قال صفيان and that صفيان he said رحم الله يعني قاطع الرحم he means the one who cuts ties with the family members لا يدخل الجنة they will not go to جنة but what does it mean they will not go to جنة أقيدة رحل السنة والجماعة is that they will not be prohibited from جنة أبدل أبات forever and ever if they came with a توحيد they were people of توحيد and they fulfilled the minimum conditions to remain within islam they will not be prohibited from جنة forever however they will be prohibited لا يدخل جنة قاطع دخولا with the people when the people enter جنة and instead they will be punished to the extent that they cut off from their relatives and no doubt إن الله لا يغفر عيش ركبه ويغفر وما دون ذلك اللي doesn't forgive you make a partner with him but less than that he forgives for whoever he wills I can subhan Allah this is وعيد شديد it's a severe threat of punishment لا يدخل الجنة قاطع جنة and Allah فهل عسيتم انت وليتم أن تفسدوا في الأرض وتقطع وأرحامكم أولائك الذين لعنهم الله فأصمهم وأعمى أبصارهم سورة محمد بين آيان number 22 and 23 so what do you think will happen if you turn away you will corrupt the earth and you will cut off the ties of your relatives they are the people who Allah has cursed and he has made them deaf and he has blinded their eyes and we have a hadith which explains this ayah from the hadith of Abu Hurair رضي الله عنه أرضاه أنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن الله خلق الخلق حتى إذا فرغ منهم قامة الرحم فقالت الله created creation and when he completed the creation the the womb I stood and said هذا مقام العائذ من القطيع in this place I stand to seek refuge from the ties of the womb being cut الله عز وجل قال نعم أما ترضين أن أصل من وصلك وأقطع من قطعك قالت بلا الله عز وجل said yes would you not be happy that I will keep ties with the one that keeps ties with you and I will cut off the one who cuts off ties with you and the rahm the ties of the wombs of the womb said بلا indeed قال فذاك لك الله عز وجل said this is what you will this is given to you ثم قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إقرأوا إن شئتم فهل عسيتم انتوليتم أن تفسدوا في الأرض وتقطعوا أرحمكم the prophet said then read if you wish فهل عسيتم انتوليتم the ayah that we spoke about that would you be what do you think would happen if you turn away that you would corrupt in the earth and cut off your family ties سبحان الله الله عز وجل gave the ties of the relatives such a position that Allah عز وجل promised to keep the ties with the one who keeps ties with them and to cut off from the one who cuts off ties with them and Abu Hurair narrated from the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم that he said من كان يؤمنوا بالله واليوم الآخر فليكرم ضيفة ومن كان يؤمنوا بالله واليوم الآخر فليصل رحمة ومن كان يؤمنوا بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليسموت Abu Hurair narrated from the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم that he said whoever believes in Allah in the last day let him be good to his guest and whoever believes in Allah in the last day let him keep ties with his relatives and whoever believes in Allah in the last day let him say good or let him say something good or remain silent سبحان الله The Prophet says in the link this to الإيمان بالله واليوم الآخر that the إيمان in Allah in the last day you can't complete الإيمان الواجب the obligatory إيمان until you keep ties with the until you keep ties with your relatives and أناس رضي الله عن narrated the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه وينسأ له في أثره فليصل الرحمة whoever would wish for their provision to be expansive to be open out for them lots of provision lots of wealth and whoever would wish for their age to be lengthened for their lifespan to be lengthened فليصل الرحمة let them keep their family ties and the hadith is متفق is narrated by البخاري and Muslim just as we said with regard to the parents this even includes the disbeliever among the relatives أمر بن العصر رضي الله عن who narrates سمعته رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول جي هارن I heard the message of Allah say openly without he wasn't concealing it he said إن آل أبي فلان ليس بأولياء إنما ولي الله وصالح المؤمنين ولكن لهم رحم سأبل لها ببلالها أمر بن العصر رضي الله عن who narrates the message of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم he said openly not secretly that the family of so and so are not my أولياء they're not they don't let them think that I am that the family of so and so they have that connection to me rather my ولي the one that I is الله عز و جل and the صلى الله عليه وسلم the righteous believers however they are my relatives so I will keep the ties with them they show us I am kept the ties with the relatives even though those relatives were not believers even though الله عز و جل was his Wali and the believers the righteous believers they were his companions رضي الله عنهم but at the end of the day he still kept the ties with the disbelieving relatives and that's why he said ولكن لهم رحم but they have the ties of family over me سأبل ببلالها I will keep those ties that they have with me because they have the ties of relatives over me even though they are not from among the Muslims in the next episode I will go on to talk about keeping ties with the one that doesn't keep ties with you and dealing with difficult relatives and whether we can take advice and guidance from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah the prophets I sent them to help us to deal with these kind of situations that's what Allah has best وصلاة والسلام علي بين محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعي السلام عليكم if you are enjoying these videos and you like to keep up to date with all of the courses we are going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com