 How can we cope and support others doing it tough? How can we maintain a positive attitude? How many ways can you skin a cat? There's an Australian saying how many ways can you skin a cat? There's many ways we can support each other and but you know what I think There's a there's an aspect of when somebody's doing it tough you reach out and you connect with that person But I think what we're missing more at this time is somebody that is connecting with me all the time consistently over time When I'm doing it well that way when When I need it I trust that person because they were consistent as a friend So what we lacking is consistency. You want to be useful to someone? Be consistent and keeping in touch with that person over time Don't be lazy with you with your WhatsApp. I see a lot of people that are really lazy with their wats Have you send them a message? They never even answer that message What do you think is gonna happen if they get in a tough situation if they haven't answered my previous messages? How am I gonna know about it to begin with but You know, so so build that relationship over time Keep in touch with people send them little memes send them little jokes anything that lets them know that you're thinking of them Then the day when they're running to trouble and you're contacting them. It won't feel weird That's the first thing you need to do. This works in workplaces, too. If you're a boss Don't worry about the person only when they're stressed out and almost burnt out That's too late Too late Ask them how they are Know about their drives their motivations their family their kids All the time So they know that you care and guess what happens if they know you care They're usually They usually perform for you because that's what we do as social beings if you're if you're a nice person I will forgive you many many errors So how can we be useful to our life human being be real be human be authentic and stay Connected stay connected with each other. That's the number one thing now in a practical level somebody's doing it up Is it a man or is it a woman? It's very important mental health. It's not done the same in both genders Is it a man or is it a woman? I don't want to get into this discussion. What's a woman or what's a man? That's not what we're doing here, but is it a man or is it a woman? Are they processing things in a more feminine way? Do they love to talk about their problems or are they processing things in more in a Male way in which we don't like to talk about our problems. We just want to know someone's got our back One is a more talkative way one is a more physical way That's that's also who is talking to who is is the friend that is doing it tough. Is it a male and you're a woman a Different rules if it's a male to a male different rules If it's a male to a woman different rules Right and the actual fact that we encourage if there's a male in trouble You get another male to talk to that that person If it's a female that is in trouble get another female to talk to that person if possible If you're men approaching a man, can you invite the guy out and about Movement is very important for talking between men Very important. It's not the length of the conversation it's the Messages that are being sent in that conversation So can you invite them to say like golf golf paddle paddle? Can you go for a walk? Can you go for a run? Can you go together to a gym? Can you do something physical together if somebody's anxious and you know they're in trouble? Go and lift some weight with them Lifting weight is fantastic for anxiety. It's very hard to be anxious if you're lifting a 50 pound weight Very very hard somehow it leaves you But so that's a good beginning, you know get movement get exercise get something physical especially for men for women Invite them out or out for a coffee for a meal, you know and and start a conversation If it's a if it's a sensitive matter Then try to raise it in an indirect way, but you know women are usually pretty good at that anyway raising things in an indirect way so I hope that's That's useful excellent Hi, I'm emi golding director of psychology for the workplace mental health institute We hope you liked the video if you did make sure to give it a thumbs up We have more and more videos being released each week So when you subscribe you'll get a notification letting you know when a new one's just being published so make sure to hit that subscribe button and Don't miss out on this vital information for yourself your colleagues and your loved ones