 Today we are going to be talking about the BEAUTIFUL topic, Boundaries. Hey buddy, this is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So I try to help you with your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton, a ton of videos. So boundaries are something that's been coming up a lot lately. I've made some videos, you know, we're doing some of my Shane Dawson reviews. Another video I just made about Jeffree Star and then as well as a different video I made, like boundaries just keep coming up. There's a lot of questions and all sorts of stuff. And like, I just want to touch on setting boundaries like in the internet age, like with technology and everything like we, we have this, we have this issue where we over complicate things. And like it's funny because when I talk about like borderline personality disorder and you know, black and white thinking and I'm like, no, don't look at things black and white, like there's some things where you absolutely have to look at them as very black and white. Like just quit getting in that gray area. And with boundaries, that's something that you really need to do. Like it's important. And here's what I mean by that. Like I've had a lot of comments, especially after one of my Logan Paul and Jake Paul videos, like people like, but what if you can't cut them out of your life? What if they do this? And that's like, no, you're over complicating this. Like you are. And I'm going to mention this just because I know I have a lot of people who subscribe to me who have borderline personality disorder. And trust me, trust me, like, I do not mean to offend in any way. I am somebody who used to be very overbearing. Like I am somebody who used to text the hell out of people, especially like a girl, like, I like to play. Hey, hey, hey, I'm like text you like 50 times a day. Like if you ever go watch one of those like Reddit like videos about like nice guys and how they'll like text like 50 times, like that used to be me. That used to be me. So I get it. So people with borderline personality disorder, like I would recommend you kind of identify this problem. But a lot of you out there who are subscribed to me, you know somebody or you knew somebody with borderline personality disorder and something that they do one of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder is being like really overbearing because of this fear of abandonment. And I can do a whole nother video on that. But anyways, like stay tuned to this video because I hope I can offer you some tips about saying these types of boundaries. All right. So we live in, we live in 2018 as I'm recording this where it's still in 2018 and technology is only going to advance and it has made it so much easier for us to set up boundaries. So the first one is the first one, like let's talk about people calling you. Okay. Like I'm going to let you all know right now, you don't have to pick up the phone. You don't have it's important to realize that just because somebody is calling, you do not have to answer. Like I remember, I remember this. I remember this like it was yesterday. I was hanging out with my mom and this was like, I think it was before I got sober. It was after she got sober. But I remember somebody kept blowing up her phone, right? And like she finally picked up the person's yelling at her and she's like, nah, and she hangs up on him. I'm like, what? But it's that simple. Like it's that simple. Like you guys do not let people like verbally abuse you. Like if it's your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, cousin, friend, whoever it is, do not take that crap. Do not pick up their phone. Do not pick up their phone call. Like let me tell you this. Let me tell you this right now. I have a rule. Like I worked with thousands of clients, thousands of them had my cell phone number. Okay. And a lot of them, I would refuse to talk to them on the phone. I'd refuse to because they would take up a lot of my time. And this isn't a bad thing. Only talking about the problem, but not getting into the solution. I've had people who call me all the time when they get drunk or high and all these other things. So one of the boundaries I set with them is like I put them like basically in a list in my mind, right? Like you are no longer allowed to call me. You could only text me. Like I put a lot of people on that list because you know, like a lot of people just don't respect your time. Texting is a lot easier because you can get back when you want to and all of that, you know what I mean? Like you can do other things. You're not locked into a phone call. So if you have someone who's overbearing with you, like put them on a text only list and like some people are like, well, I don't like, I don't like texting. I'm like, sorry, well, you, you do not respect my boundaries when we get on the phone. You know those people who try to keep you on and keep you on and keep you on and keep you on? Like if they're not respecting that boundary, like, oh, well, sorry, you got a text. Oh, you don't like texting. Sorry, that's it. You know, again, like so much of this with boundaries can go back to what I always tell you is you care far too much about what other people think of you. I see it as if if they don't care what I think about them, why am I caring so much about what they think about me? You know what I mean? So please, please be mindful of setting boundaries when it comes to these phone calls. Don't pick up the phone, put them on a text only list or hang up, hang up, hang up on a mother effort who is trying to verbally berate you. Okay, you do not have to put up with that emails. Just gonna touch on that real quick. Same thing. Same thing. Like, you know, those people who are just very overbearing, they'll first off to you and all this other stuff and they'll email you. Don't answer it. Ignore it. It's up to you if you want to open it. You know, if you don't feel like opening it, like just delete it, right? X is right and X will like email them and you know or whatever and they just have a sitting in their inbox and like, do I open this? I want to open it and they'll like leave it in there for like months and it's just eating away at the brain like, hold the trigger man, like either read it or delete it. Okay. But like know your boundaries and set those up like you do not have to open or read anything. Okay. So now let's talk about text messaging and DMs and messages and all that stuff because we live in a social media age. So here's, here's something that I do. Okay. And some of you, some of you, if you're wondering why I haven't replied to your DM, this is why because I've set a boundary with you. I love each and every one of you so much. But again, a lot of people do not respect my time. And this one reason why I try to be empathetic towards other people like my message, other people in the YouTube community who have massive followings, like I am only at 20,000 subscribers, like, and I get messages and emails constantly. So like, I can think of a handful of people who DM me like 50 times a day. So the boundary I've set is I don't reply. I don't reply or I don't reply for a while because I'm letting them know, like you have to, you have to train other people to respect your boundaries. Like I cannot, like if I just replied every single time somebody was messaging me, like I am not, I am not their personal, their personal mental health person, you know what I mean? And like, I'm not that for anybody except for clients when I'm at work and working on that stuff. So like, just remember that like you have to train the other person. So like hanging up, not replying, whatever it is, like you are training the other person. Because in a second, I'm going to talk about dating because this is a huge mistake I see a lot of people make with dating when it comes to this kind of relationship. But like, I'm just letting you know, if you inundate me with a bunch of stuff, like you are not respecting my time. And I'm just going to throw this out there for anybody who's still watching this video. If you're watching this, do not, do not ever message me with high. Don't ever do that. Like, and this is just, let me explain to you the mindset behind it. I am extremely busy, extremely busy. And if you just message me with high, like, that's like, I don't know if that's like, do you need advice? Do you need help? Are you just trying to start a conversation because you're bored? Like, if you're going to message me or you're going to email me, like put everything in there. Like I love all of you. And like, if we meet up in advance, like I'll hang out and talk with you forever. But when I'm running around, like being a father, being a boyfriend, being an employee, being a YouTuber, like, I don't have time for the high. All right. So let me know what's going on. And I will reply to you. But there's a lot of messages I don't answer, just because they say hi. Okay. But anyways, make sure you set up boundaries with people who are just texting or emailing or messaging you constantly, train them not to do that. So this carries over into dating. Oh my God. You guys, let me tell you, one of the biggest mistakes, one of the biggest mistakes people make when they're dating, when they just start dating, is calling and texting constantly. I can make an entire video about this, but I'm going to try to sum it up in a couple of minutes. Like if you are texting back and forth, constantly, you have opened up the floodgates. And what I've seen over and over and over and over again with these like little honeymoon phase relationships is that then it gets to a point where first off, you don't have anything more to talk about. But second, like if you don't reply instantly, the other person starts getting all self conscious. Like, oh my God, does he or she not like me anymore? Right? Because you, you set the wrong precedent in the very beginning. You know, like that's something that I made the mistake on a million times. I would talk, I would talk to a girl like all day, every day, just texting her all day at work, but then when I got busy, then when I got busy, she would freak out. And part of it was my fault because I set up the precedent that I'm going to reply every single time that you message me. That's what I love about my relationship with Tristan. Like we both know that we both get busy. We both have things to do and we don't expect the other to reply like that. You know what I mean? Like there is a difference between like not replying instantly and then just like blowing somebody off, but like please do this. Like I don't care if it's like a new relationship where you're trying to date or it's a new friendship or whatever it is, like do not set yourself up for failure when it comes to this stuff and talk to them 24 seven because they will freak out on you. You will freak out too. Right? If they're messaging you constantly, then all of a sudden they don't think about the anxiety in your brain. Like, yeah, I know you know what I'm talking about. But yeah, like right before I made this video, I saw somebody because I mentioned in the Jeffree Star video, like, you know, if you jump into the lion's den, like you're going to get eaten and somebody commented, they're like, what if the lion like jumps out of the den and like comes, like comes to you? And I'm like, that's a great question. But the answer is run away from that lion, run away from the lion. That's what that's the only thing you can do. Like drama and stuff like that is going to try to find you and you just dodge that stuff like the matrix. Okay, like you back away. You're like, what? Nope. Nope. Nope. You just dodge that stuff. Like do not over complicate this thing. When it comes to boundaries, very black and white. All right. Anyways, if you have any questions about this or any other examples, like I do need to make more videos about boundaries. So let me know down in the comments. But like if you have anything that you want to add to this video, how do you set boundaries when it comes to, you know, this technological age, like let me know down in the comments below. Okay. Anyways, that's how I got for you with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell and make sure you check out the description and join our Facebook mental health support group. Okay. Who's thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And if you would like to get your name up here and support the channel as well, click or tap right there. All right. Thanks so much for watching. Set some boundaries and I'll see you next time.