 So this morning I found myself feeling like really irritable and I could not figure out why. But then, then after a little bit of mindfulness, I realized what the issue was. Jealousy is a biznitch. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and something that I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being and something that can help you with your mental and emotional well-being is learning how to chill out with the jealousy. So make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. But before I jump into my story time about why I hate the channel spill, make sure you go sign up on Patreon. So a lot of you have a ton of requests talking about different topics or different YouTubers or whatever it is and I can only do so much. So I do something called Patreon Q&As. So I have different tiers of Patreon, a bunch of different perks, but if you sign up for even a dollar, I do Patreon Q&As and I will answer your question. So I'm going to do one this weekend. I just posted the Q&A thing over on Patreon. Go check it out, sign up for Patreon for as little as a dollar. But you sign up for five, you get extra videos and all sorts of stuff. All right. Anyways, let's jump into this. So those of you who are not familiar with the channel spill, spill started, I think her oldest video is about two months old, right? Maybe a little longer. She popped up and I started getting recommended her channel when the Shane Dawson series was going on. But what's up with that? My series was a Shane Dawson series. So how come spill is doing this too? So I'm going over there, I'm watching your content and I am just going absolutely bonkers. All right. So I've been on YouTube for about a year now, right? A little over a year and I am almost at 40,000 subscribers. Spill just started two months ago and she is almost at 100,000 subscribers. And it just drives me absolutely nuts. So like every time she posts a video, I look at it. And sometimes I post a video before she posts a video and they're all the same topics, but she's getting massive amounts of views compared to mine. Like look at this. Are you guys seeing this? Like these are videos on the exact same thing. Why is she getting so many more views than I am? What am I doing? Why do the YouTube algorithm gods hate me so much that they're promoting spill more than me? I make such amazing content, right? Right? Can any of you relate to this? Can any of you relate to these feelings that I'm feeling, right? And part of my mental health channel is like I try to, you know, I try to make videos to talk about what I go through because not only do I want you to relate to the YouTubers that you're watching, like I want you to relate to me. I know there's stuff that I deal with, you know? And I want to talk about my personal experiences and how I get through these things. So this is about jealousy. And a lot of people have asked me about jealousy. Like those of you who don't know me yet, like I used to have terrible, terrible anger management issues. My entire life, I grew up very angry and upset. I was the biggest hater on earth. Like your success made me mad. Being the son of an alcoholic mom, seeing other people with their nice families or you know, my family didn't make that much money and I would see kids, you know, their parents were buying. I'm like, I went to school with kids who had like BMWs when they were 16 and I was still riding on the bus and I just hated it. I hated like, why is everything so much easier for you than it is for me, right? And now, now that I'm growing and I'm a big boy now, like this still happens to me, I often sit there and say, why is everything so much easier for you than it is for me? How come it seems like life or the universe or whatever it is just hands you everything, but not me, right? And this can absolutely destroy our mental health and that's why we need to work on this, okay? So like for example with Spill, here's three suggestions to work on your jealousy and anger. So the first thing I do with my mindfulness practice is when I see these thoughts, these ruminating thoughts, these thoughts, these obsessive thoughts that are coming over and over and over again, I ask myself one simple question, okay? Is this useful to me? Is it useful, okay? And for the most part, it's not, all right? So there's a reason why I say we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. Me sitting in this problem and thinking about how Spill is getting all these views and her channel's doing better than mine and all those things. Like what good is that really doing me? How much time, how many minutes, how many hours, how many days am I going to waste sitting in a pity party saying why won't the YouTube algorithm treat me like it does Spill, like is that useful to me? How am I progressing? How am I succeeding in any way by sitting in that problem, right? But there is a little bit, there is a little bit and this is just the way that I'm wired and if you're wired this way, use it too. It motivates me, right? So I figured out a way to take that jealousy, that irrational jealousy and turn it into motivation. So now I look at somebody like Spill who's killing it and doing awesome and that motivates me to work harder and do better. You know, what can I do? So I look at my situation because it's not about what I can't control, what can I control? Can I make more videos? Can I spruce up my editing? What can I do to get to where she's at, right? So you see what I mean? So the emotion, the emotion's still gonna be there but how do I turn it from something that's not useful into something that's useful? So now this is my motivation, my drive, my passion. So for example, if you work with somebody and they're getting promoted, they're getting raises and stuff like that, don't sit back and hate on them. Figure out what you gotta do to work harder and get to where they are. You see what I mean? One of my favorite sayings is if you want what they have, you gotta do what they do, right? And for some of us, we have to do even more but I guarantee it'll be worth it. So the second part of this that helps me with the jealousy and the anger is realizing what a jerk I'm being, right? So I can sit back and say like, oh, it must be nice, Spill. It must be nice that the YouTube algorithm just loves you so much that it promotes all your videos. And that is so awful, right? Because here's the thing, I don't know if you've ever watched Spill's videos, I'm gonna link her channel down below. But she is an amazing content creator. I absolutely love her content. She's very well spoken. She uses great clips. She also uses like animated clips. Not even sure if she's animating them or what. First of all, you cannot make an uncut, raw series about yourself. If you're the one reviewing or editing the episodes, you naturally want to put out the most sympathetic version of yourself. And even if you're not reviewing it or editing it, your editor still has a vested interest in keeping you happy because you're paying them. But one thing that I absolutely love about her content too is that I don't know if she's a psychology student or what. So Spill, if you see this, talk to me. But she talks about different psychologists and studies and she intertwines that with her videos and it is phenomenal. You should never fight over text message. So many things can be misunderstood or miscommunicated. He could have called her or met up with her in person to talk things through. As psychologist David Lennon says, conflict is inevitable in any relationship but how couples communicate during a conflict goes a long way. So she's working really hard and she deserves this, right? But if I sit here and I'm just like, oh, she's just lucky. She's just lucky. Like what kind of jerk would I have to be to take away from her hard work, her skills, her effort? You know what I mean? So I need to get out of that mindset. And again, if anything, I need to work harder because maybe just maybe it's not the algorithms fault but maybe because of that extra effort that she puts into her videos, maybe that's why her videos are doing better. But anyway, she's doing a phenomenal job and I don't need to take away from that by saying she's lucky or it must be nice. Tip number three, tip number three for working on jealousy and anger is this, okay? Is you always have to remember, I always have to remember that happiness is not a limited resource, okay? Let me repeat that again for the people in the back. Happiness is not a limited resource. Like this is one of the most fascinating things about our brains, okay? Why does our brain think that somebody else's happiness is taking away from our happiness, right? Like think about that for a second. Like are there happiness deposits that we're running out of is global warming affecting people's like the amount of happiness that we have left on this planet? No, absolutely not. So why am I wasting time getting upset that spill or anybody else in life is succeeding and doing well, okay? So one of the meditation practices that I try to teach all of you is something called loving kindness. So download any meditation app and you'll find it, but it's like sending good thoughts, good wishes, good emotions, whatever it is to other people and it will help. It helps retrain your brain. So something that I try to do now is I look at this and I realize, you know, my happiness isn't being taken away by someone else's happiness and I realize, I realize like this is for the, like the greater good if you will. Seeing other YouTubers succeed helps me out. Seeing other people in my niche, in my career, whatever you want to call it, it is helping me out. So if you are in a job, if you are in an industry, like if somebody's getting promoted or raises around you, that's good. That's good for you because that means that your company is actually investing in its employees. You see what I'm saying? But the more YouTubers who succeed, the better chances I have of succeeding. So I want all of the YouTubers to succeed. I want all of them to do well and I hope that makes sense. Just remember, and this is where mindfulness comes in. So mindfulness is a practice of being present and noticing what's happening right now. So if you could just make the small step, the small step to ask yourself, why do you feel like someone else's happiness is taking away from your own? If you could just stop and ask yourself that question, I guarantee your life will get better. All right? But anyways, Spill is an amazing content creator. I've never talked to her, but this is just something that was on my mind and I know this is something that can help some of you who are struggling with jealousy. And let me know down in the comments below. Down in the comments below, let me know. Is this something that you struggle with? Like do you become a hater? Do you look at other people's success and you just get mad or upset or say they're lucky, it must be nice? Let's have a conversation down below in the comments, okay? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. I might be making two or three more videos today. I don't know yet. But anyways, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all awesome. And again, go sign up over on Patreon, click or tap right here, sign up because I will be doing a Patreon Q&A this weekend. All right? Thanks so much for watching. Quit being a hater and I'll see you next time.