 Today we'll be exploring some thick questions and we are joined by Sheikh Hayyub. As-salamu alaykum Sheikh. Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. How are you this morning? Fine, alhamdulillah. Nice to see you. Always a pleasure, alhamdulillah. So we have a question regarding adoption. I believe it's from a sister in the UK and it reads, I am blessed to already have a large family and founder that I'm expecting again. My sister, although I'm married for 17 years, has never been able to conceive. Am I able to allow her to adopt my unborn child when the child is born, inshallah, is from her? An anonymous sister in the UK. Is that permissible? Adoption is allowed in Islam. Adoption, we can see it in different forms and shapes. It happened during the time of the Holy Prophet Muhammad. When the Holy Prophet adopted a young man by the name Zaid. And he took very good care of him, of course, he's a prophet. Until Zaid became famous as Zaid, son of Muhammad. Why? Because of good treatment from the Holy Prophet. Now, in order for us to be according to the Islamic law, we need to understand few sensitive issues. And this particular question is sensitive. I am allowed to adopt. But after adoption, when the child reaches the age of maturity, then there will be some restrictions in terms of hijab, which is something very, very sensitive. Imagine a lady has taken care of a boy. Since when he was young, and then all of a sudden the boys become a baliq, then the mother has to cover herself in terms of hijab, not to expose her or whatever, because of this particular sand and cow. So she would still be a boy's auntie. This scenario would be different, would it be different? Because you cannot marry his aunt. This scenario is two sisters, isn't it? Yes, yes, yes. So the two sisters, yes, two sisters is easy, because why the son or the daughter would... You are nephew by blood, right? Yes. So, of course, he or she will treat the mother, who is adopting this particular boy, as an auntie. So the issue of hijab is not a big issue here. But if it was just a good friend who could not conceive and she wanted her to adopt, then that first practice, that first ruling would apply. Indeed. The woman would have to cover. We have a caller. Sorry, sorry, this moment. Sister Zaynil from London. Assalamu alaikum. I'm really loving this show. It's really, really great that you guys are talking about this. Sister Zahra, I particularly like... think that you are doing such a great job. Thank you so much. I'll share it with your brother. Bless you all. Thank you. My question is about fostering. Basically, I'm a foster parent at Hamdi Land. I just want to know what Islam says about fostering children. I mean, mostly in regards to the concept of teenage maturity. Like, as an example, is it a frowned upon? Like, I'm a female and I'm fostering a young boy and he's past that age, you know, 16 upwards. I mean, is that a problem to foster children of the opposite gender who have reached that age of maturity? And I mean, isn't it kind of a good thing to do? Because obviously it's like you're doing something for that child that doesn't have parents or has, you know, problems at the moment. And I think Islam tells us to, you know, do these kinds of things. You know, help people. And even more so because, you know, as a Muslim, I wear a headscarf and everything. So I mean, I'd be fostering. And people would, I mean, a lot of the kids that do come to me as well, they're non-Muslim. And it kind of just opens a gateway sort of to the whole Islamic, you know, as in them learning about it and things like that. But I mean, I don't want to compromise my religion at the same time. So I mean, I'm, you know, if I could have your thoughts on that subject and that would be great. And once again, thank you much for doing this like work and talking about these things. It's so important for our community. Thank you all. Thank you so much, sister. Thank you. Yeah. That's really heartwarming. Indeed. Someone's sacrificing their time. Indeed. And to start the answer to this question, we need to congratulate the sister because why sister Zainab is taking care of a human being regardless of creed, faith, whatever. You are taking care of a human being. Regardless whether this human being is a child or a teenager, take care of a human being. Not only human being, even animals, Islam, encourages us to take care of other beings. Now, this particular scenario here, this boy or girl has lost the father and mother. We can't just say no because I have my own children. I don't care about fostering. Islam encourages us to take care of children. Whether in terms of fostering or adoption, it is something very encouraged for us to go into that particular way of supporting those who are in need. However, there are a few things which need to be looked at here. Number one, the way sister Zainab has said there, I don't want to compromise with my religion. She has to adhere to the Islamic principles of jurisprudence when it comes to the relationship between herself and if she is taking care of a boy. So Hijab needs to be there. When you say hijab, you are talking about physical hijab, but let me throw it out there. She is doing a mothering type of role. It is not adoption. She is not going to stay with her forever. It is temporary. She is still extending not just the four walls of her house but extending her love. Can she cuddle the boy if he falls over or anything of this nature if he is a child or is this compromising her hijab? No. In terms of saving the life of someone who is in danger, she is allowed to hold, to carry, to... Contact. Contact, physical contact in terms of touching. Yes. It is allowed if there is, for example, a situation where she needs to save or take a hand of this particular boy in order for him to guide or something like that. But in terms of physical hugging, for example... He just needs love. He needs missing his mom. He is having a teary moment. Lump in his throat is crying. No. If the situation is not of life and death situation, then unfortunately Islam doesn't encourage, doesn't allow the physical contact. So it's a problematic issue. It's sensitive, isn't it? Very sensitive. But you're instinctive, you know, in a parenting role, a child is just... You want to put your hand on their shoulder? Yeah. You know, just show some kind of affection. Sure. It's unfortunate, unfortunate. Is it the same rule as a child is three, five, ten, fifteen? No. Before the age of buluk maturity, you are allowed. But after that, no. Okay, okay. I don't know how many teenagers want a cuddle. Yeah, unfortunately. However, however, recently... A younger child. Yeah. And even teenagers are humans too and need a cuddle at some time. Recently in the UK, and I think this is a new law, maybe you can just check, that those who are fostering in the UK, they are not allowed to cuddle. Why? Because of some issues which happen with some people. Yeah, yeah. Safe guarding, health and safety issues. Child protection. Child protection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A parent is not allowed to do that. But in Islam, we are looking at the issues of mahram na mahram and so on and so forth. However, to take care of this particular young person, it is highly recommended because you are taking care of a human being here. Yeah. So that's very important to be looked at. Going back to this original scenario, so we have the sister that's going to adopt, or is wanting to know if she can give a child for adoption to her sister. Yeah. Her own sister. What about her, the kind of conversation she needs with her husband? Because does a father have to consent? Is it just advisable? Does a child belong to her because she's carrying the child? Islamically, how does that play out? Yeah, I actually thank you because you have reminded me about this particular point which is very important. A sister is allowed to adopt. A sister is allowed to foster. But if she is married, of course, the permission from the husband is very important. And this naturally, if two people live together, one cannot decide without the consent or discussing with, for example, in this case, husband and wife. So they need to agree that we want to do adoption or fostering together in order for us to know what is happening. It is something very encouraging to see that this sister is thinking about another fellow human being. My sister doesn't have a child. So I'm going to do this particular decision because I want her also to have the feeling of a mother the way I have. Very generous, very generous. Yeah, it is encouraged because of generosity. We need to spread it within the community. I actually know a family that two sisters, one sister couldn't have, she had a daughter they couldn't conceive and then the other sister had many children, Mashallah, I think nine, and then she had twins. So the one of the twins looked like the sister and so she gave that twin to her to adopt and then she kept the one that looked like her. And then when the twin grew up, it was a very difficult situation because the poverty was different, the level of sustenance of the family was different. The child that went into the other, the auntie's family was poorer. So he struggled in his life whereas the family he'd left, they were more affluent. So there was a lot of resentment in that child when he grew up. So it's not an easy task to just say a hand to a child over. There's a lot of social issues that must be affecting children. We really consider, we think it's very noble, but a lot of implications aren't there? Sometimes there's a psychological side as well because you meet people who have been adopted and they sometimes or often times they can carry a lot of emotions, unresolved issues of why I've heard a story but I just want to meet my parent. In this situation it sounds like it's two sisters, so there will be a family connection anyway. Sure. And these things happen where people, a child will go and live with her aunt and say the mum can't afford it, but they know that's my mum and they say my aunt, but my auntie brings me up like, she loves me like I'm her own child and she doesn't have children. This happens in many cultures, but when people are adopted by strangers at a young age and they only knew these people as their parents and when they were 10 or whatever the time the parents decided to actually sit them down and say we're not actually your biological, we love you all the same but we're not your biological parents. Psychological problems. And traumas. Actually Islam says clearly in Surah Al-Ahzab call them to their fathers. Call the children you adopt by the names of their fathers. So unfortunately sometimes when we adopt or we foster children we change their names because my son name is this I'll give this son name to this particular son or daughter. According to Islam it's not allowed. It says clearly call them by the names of their fathers. So the idea of this young boy or girl when he or she grows up and comes to know that oh you know what even my son name is not this my son name is another one this causes trouble and problems. So keep the name of the father biological father then it will not cause any problems. Of course the son will ask the daughter why my name is this and this family their name is this particular eventually he will come to know. So there's a kind of not kind of there's a hikmer in there so that there's going to be always a seed in a child's mind or that these people are not my parents but maybe I don't understand the fullness of it because what happens is I think in sort of the non-Islamic societies where adoption is quite you know popular and it's good although they're always trying to get more people to adopt is that people have a need sometimes people who can't conceive logically so they make it a child from a very young age and not want to tell the child and have that family home and that family situation like and then they and then later on child's in their teens or something and then the two parents have this we need to tell them no we don't yes we do and it becomes tricky it becomes very tricky and maybe to advise the people who have changed the names of their children sometimes they ask what can we do now it's been quite a long time I think they need to go according to the Holy Quran clearly the Quran says call them according to the names of their parents they need to go back to that can I ask you a final question before we're going to finish for a couple of minutes left so you said the names of the child should be referred to as the biological father in non-Islamic societies we know children can be bred outside of marriage I'm born sorry about the parents being married so you adopt a child who perhaps is born not with the father's name on the registered birth certificate we don't know who the father is is it permissible for someone a family to adopt a child maybe a Muslim and I actually knew somebody many years ago the girl was born the girl was born in a situation like that is it allowed for a Muslim family to adopt a child that may be illegitimate yeah sure here we are talking about taking care of a human being taking care of a child so yes they can adopt and whichever name is there they need to take that as the name of this particular child but not to refrain not to take care of a child because why maybe the child is born out of wedlock it's not advisable we need to think about well-being of this young one and the gunah the scene the haram which was committed by the father and mother shouldn't affect this particular young one we need to show that we care and we need to take care of them I think often we can be judgmental towards children that is what they're doing it wasn't their sin and often there's stigma with them that's a beautiful final that's what they're doing so we're going to take a break now and when we're back we'll see you again soon