 Jack Benning with Frank Flash and his orchestra. Before the fun begins, ladies and gentlemen, let me repeat that message, which is appearing on thousands of billboards all over America. Stand by for the 1934 Chevrolet. A low price car with no action wheels. Ladies and gentlemen, I take extreme pleasure in presenting to you once again America's outstanding false alarm. And this is Jack Alarm talking, or Paul Benning. Have you ever eye-quit? Boy, what's the matter? I'm not gonna work tonight, that's all. You're not? No. Listen, I've asked you every week, alloys. I plead it, I beg you to introduce me with a little formality. A little dignity. For that, I'm using it as little as possible. I know that, I mean, but you don't build me up like they do on other programs, alloys. I know, here I come to the microphone all set up and everything, and you announce me as a false alarm. But Jack, I said you were outstanding. Oh, well, I didn't hear that. I mean, I'm sorry, ever. Well, hey, wait a minute. I mean, what does outstanding false alarm mean? It seems that you're no good, but you're very good at it. I don't know, that doesn't sound right to me. I don't know. If you're having sex tonight, do you want to be introduced? But when you're going to be any great celebrity, like George George Thor, the Prince of Wales, or somebody like that, all right? Then I'll introduce you like the Prince of Wales. Yeah, you say that for the land. And soon as you crawl up the house, I'm going to take your family out of the house. I'm presenting to you our master of ceremonies. That's three-prime office and international papers. Miss, do you remember? What do you mean, effervescence job? It's a wonderful pair of go-ahead talents. So I want to tell you that this evening we have a great show with a great cast who will not trade on your nerves. How am I doing, Avrilis? I did. Oh, yeah? Yes. You won't double your attitude. Stand by, folks. This fight comes to you through the courtesy of the new 1934 Chevrolet, the left-right car with an e-action wheel. I want to thank you for the effort. Well, that's all right. I'm determined. Well, I guess you love me. Don't you, Mary? Of course I do, too, darling. What are we waiting for? Uncle Tom, Mary Livingston will play Liza, and Marie Dressler will play literally... So what will I play next? Three for 1,765,000 consecutive performances playing under canvas, under cover, and under ten cents. That's the new thought that I'm at. This run beats A.D. Diary's Road by 17 years, four days, and three and two fifths seconds. I understand there's another company still running out west, but the last report is that the sheriff is gaining on them. And I do know Uncle Tom's Cabin is a very sad play. But after looking over our cast this evening, I think it'll be a little fatter than usual. And now, folks, while we are setting the stage, Frank Black, who is still glaring at me, will play high tunes from Hold Your Horses. Well, that's a good program. Oh, boy, Uncle Tom. Are these Uncle Tom's Cabin? And I'd like to rent one over... Thank you for the night. Oh, I'm sorry. By the way, the economical car that government should release, the top designer cabin for this year, gentlemen. Well, that's what I was afraid of. Dennis, I'm going to sing my song, but I'm going to sing mine from that new Broadway show, Let Me Take. Well, there, what do you have, little Niva? Yes, sir. You remember, you're a plotter for nothing, you ain't done nothing around here for years, and I'm going to say, you're Warner Brothers. You're Warner Brothers? Yes, and I got a good offer from Fox to pay to the Warner Brothers, Master Simon. Why not? I can get $7 a day for you and $10 for you and Liza together. Now, listen here, Simon, it's me. I don't care what you all do to me, but you need that damn ride out of this, you hear? Don't tell me what to do. You're good for knocking, knocking, shouting, shouting, picking. That's right, black folks, getting all mixed up now. Well, I'm not a going, Master. My soul may belong to you, but your body belongs to pickers. I must be hungry. What do you all want to eat? Why don't you go out and stay here and enjoy yourself? I'll tune in the radio for you. What's programed here?