 Five, seven, half the battle, G.I. Joe Burr, Strident, Sanitarium Productions, Joe Fan 82. Beer on the wall, five bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, four bottles of beer on the wall, four bottles of beer on the wall, four bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, three bottles of beer on the wall, three bottles of beer on the wall. It's telling me anything I don't already know. But this time, this time will be different. This time I will win the game. Who are you talking to? What? None of your business. So, since you're going to hold me captive here forever, you could at least explain one thing to me. Do you think I'm the kind of supervillain that monologues his entire plan to his enemy which inevitably leads to his defeat? Yes, I think you probably are. Ah, well played. So, what do you want to know? Why are you so evil? You cut right to the core, don't you? Well, I will tell you my story. Go ahead. I have nothing but time. It all started when I was five years old. It was Christmas Eve and my father was late coming home from work. We waited and we waited and we waited. He didn't even call. It was like my father had disappeared. We called the police. They couldn't find a trace of him. Then, a week later, we found his corpse in the chimney. He was dressed as father Christmas and he had a bag of Christmas presents with him. Wait a minute. That story is from Gramlins. Alright, you caught me. The truth is, I'm just evil, kay? Now, to show you how evil I am, I will go to your YouTube channel and revel in the utter despair of the failure of Cobra Month. Doesn't he understand the catastrophe he's causing? That's why we have assembled Cobra Convergence 2. We need to keep Cobra Month alive until we can locate and rescue HCC 788. What? Cobra Convergence 2? No! I didn't stop Cobra Month from coming. It came. Somehow or other, it came just the same. That I, some Doc Brown, must be behind this. Cobra Convergence 2? Yes! The other reviewers came together to save the Jovers. I knew they would. Never doubted it. Shut up! Yeah. So, this is the part where your heart grows three sizes and you let me go? No. This is the part where I threaten your friends with bodily harm if they don't yield to my demands. Right after I leave a nasty comment on this video. Scrutinizing these codes in the Cobra Convergence videos, but they don't make a lot of sense. Maybe Timmer could help. Hey, hey! Timmer! What are you doing? Nothing. Just sitting on my couch. Why? I expected to catch you in some outlandish activity. That seems to be the pattern. Nope. I've just been sitting here waiting for your call. Good. We need... Like I wait for you to call every day. What? You never call, you never write or text. You know, when I don't hear from you, I get worried. It's only because I care. I'm not even going to comment on that. Timmer, I need your help with this code. Reviewers! You have angered me with your obstinance. I specifically told you to cut out the sharing and I find you doing more of it. Now you listen to me, evildoer. Evildoer, can I pull that off? Yeah, sure. Evildoer, you give us back Steve right now. Stealing people is both bad and wrong. And we don't like that sort of thing over here. Oh, I had no idea you felt like that. I'll release him immediately. Really? Of course not. I will never release him. In fact, you are all in danger of joining him. Cobra Convergence must end. I have plenty of room in my collection for more reviewers. Don't panic, Timmer. I'm not panicking. All we have to do is hold Cobra Convergence together for a little longer. We almost have all the secret codes in order to help rescue through Cobra Commander 788. I'm not panicking. I just need you to do a Cobra review. Okay, I'm panicking. Look, the evil guy is going to zap me. He's going to bury me in an unmarked grave next to Steve. I think we should just give up. Look, it's not that I'm a coward far from it. Yeah, that's the ticket. But, um, if I'm gone, who's going to watch my— I mean, who's going to make my videos? Come on, Timmer. You can muster a little more courage than that. Do it for Steve. You know what? You're right. Let's do it for Steve. I'm going to do an excellent review. One that is a supervillain defying review of a rare figure no less. And I'll put it on my own YouTube channel. That way, the supervillain will have no problem tracking me down to zap me. Um, great idea. That's the spirit. Kevin, one more thing. And what's that? If I get kidnapped by the bad guy, um, tell my kids I love them. You have kids? Well, not really. That's just what I call my action figure collection. Uh, no, I know why you don't have kids. Are you ready, Agent Timmer? Hit it! Round one, fight.