 What does that say? Welcome to the chat. Guard your privacy and abide by our community practices. I was planning not to abide by our community practices. Or break it. But the more you push it away, the larger my head looks. That's really good quality. And you've got a bit of present in there. Just in the corner. Biggest. Size. My biggest. Size. My jolly face. This is my jolly face. You see Darth Vader's not very jolly. There we go, not very jolly. So, thank you for coming. Do you want to do a live broadcast? Good for you. Cheers. Not for ages. Too busy. Where are we? I hope we can hear you. Chants. Chants. Bristol. No. Was it supposed to be? No. But the train screwed us up. Ouch. So we had to pivot. Very quickly. I was 30 seconds on board of the train before we changed. So it was truly the last responsible moment. But we're here in Bristol. Because we couldn't get anyone else. I would like to think of my hometown as the place you go. We genuinely didn't want to give Nigel an easy opportunity. No. It was too quite difficult. We're playing board games this morning. We played two board games. And how many boards were involved in those board games? Card games. They were good fun. They were. I enjoyed one of them. Which ones did you enjoy the most? The fun employment. Fun employed. Fun employed. I like that one. Tell them about it. So if you haven't played it before. It's a game where you'll give it a number of points. You have to apply for a job. So the job is picked out of a card deck at random. And you have to select some characteristics. And then justify why you're correct. Characteristics. Qualifying you for that job. But the second variation. Was where you didn't get to see those characteristics. That was more fun. And bone in mind the characteristics were not totally serious. And some of them were not safe to work. Yes. So they're not coming on this podcast. No. We talked about, me and I talked about. While you could do a safer, more agile version. The terminology is more agile version. You could do a safer, more agile version. The terminology is more agile version. The terminology is more agile version. Yeah, it was a really good idea. So watch this space. Squirm employed. So watch this space for that. And when we play cards against humanity. Which if we mention it all on this thing. We'll be taken on YouTube. So it's nice to say, you know that game. We've played it. I've never played it before. Jeff had never played it before. Jeff won't play it again. I lost. Yes. Christmas special. Oh yes, Christmas gifts. We have done, you know, every year. We do Christmas presents for each other. Oh, we've got a comment. I'm going to read this. Oh, it's gone. Add Nigel, you're great. I missed that one. Yes. No, let me tell you why. I do love coming on these podcasts. And I do when I can. It's just often I'm in a different country. Nigel has a job. Yeah, I like these two. I have to work for a living. Well, I think I missed... I've written a song now. I'm exceptionally sad that I couldn't make the song Band-Aid or Scrum-Aid. Where now? I was just blown you away. But you thought me and Paul couldn't sing. I can sing. But alas, now I couldn't make it. I was working in a different country. Which is annoying. Obviously, there are almost 3,000 views. It's over. 3,500 views. It's almost viral. They're like, cool. Look at this way. Look at the total people on Earth and how many watch YouTube videos. And look at the percentages of agile people and how many watch YouTube videos. I reckon you've got a percentage that's pretty similar to Justin Bieber. Maybe comparable. Yeah, I like that. I'll buy that. I wouldn't buy your record, so I would buy that again. So, we've got translations on that. Let me give you a psychastic round of applause. It was an aid of one of the two... What do you call it? The ideas of Christmas. One is charity. The other is presents. We did have fun. A lot of fun. Probably a little too much. If you've been listening to their song, or thought it to be suffering, what kind of care you have to pay now for charity? Something too charity to show, I don't know, apologies for listening to their song? You donated, didn't you? Choose your own charity. Thank you very much. We don't embarrass ourselves just for the hell of it. Yeah, it's got to be something good. It was a great effort. We decided very, very short notice. Literally two days ago that we would get each other some presents. But when we say we decided, Jeff said, hey, let's get presents. And Paul and I went... OK. Jeff says it, let's do it. Yeah, that's how it worked for years. So we've got some gifts. My gifts were amazing, by the way. Who wants to get first? I'm quite good. I think I'm probably the most boring and I'll go first though. OK, so you do your presents first. I'll be nice till last. So, none of you are working then. Say, Helen, not today. We worked very hard. Oh, that's very hard, Helen. So, Helen Meek, you chastised myself and Jeff this week for not working. And now look at us. This is serious. These podcasts don't happen by accident. They don't make themselves. There's a lot of conscious effort from Paul. I'm opening them up presently. It's not over for me. That's for both of you. Look at the size of this. It's enormous. Let's do Jeff's first. It doesn't sound really good. Five people watching. Five. Look at you. Yes. So, Paul's basically playing it to the series that I'm working on. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it. The series that I'm working on. So, Jeff has a hit class for when the training gets a little bit hard. I do like... I do like... I've got to be careful now because Ted Baker's a big guy that runs Ted Baker's in a bit of trouble, isn't he? So, I can't really say I like Ted Baker. He has quarter chin. I told them I could alter tune their voices for that song. They didn't take me up on the offer. He was already live by the time you did it. I do like Ted Baker's style. I like the pal. If you don't want it, I'll have it. No, I do. Check it out. Sorry. I am going to open my present now. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Virtual Blaster. augmented reality virtual blaster. This will allow me to virtually blast things. You've got to use it with your phone. With your phone. You can bluetooth it to your phone and you can basically use it as a shoot-em-up through your phone. Also, it turns your real nice world into a shoot-em-up. How interesting. That's really rather good. Better than mine. So, basically, the story is Jeff likes alcohol. Nigel likes drinking. I might hit the mark. I might do this. Do we fit both of us? We'll do it together. Hold it in front of the camera. You've got nails. Not really. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Hold it up to the camera. Upside down. This is, let me explain. This is Serbian rakia. So, I did some work in Serbia early this year. And this is the Serbian version of kind of an everyday drink. It's basically brandy. And they would drink that alongside a pint. So, it's like the chaser. And obviously, you've bought this with us in mind. Of course. So, we can open it now. No, not yet. We're going to have some of those later. Lovely. The flavors look like they are foreign, foreign, foreign. Hashtag lethal. Choe, blackcurrant. Apricot. Apricot and flour, as far as I can tell. What's this one here? But I had it stringed over there. And it's in a quiet taste. I thought you could try it out today. You were quite happy. Okay, so, who's next then? I'll do my next. So, my guess is a mild explanation. Because I put a little bit of thought into those for the best in a way. So, we're going to give it a go. Now, this is for Paul. Paul gets the smaller gift. Yeah. The larger gift. The smaller. Can I go first? You go first, Paul. And then we'll explain why we give you that. It's very exciting. Very exciting. It's a transformer. It's a transformer. A robot in disguise. Paul's prime seed. The motorcycle. And I explained why I got it. So, I thought, agile metaphor. Transformation. And Otto's prime is a lead transformer. So, he's the leader of transformation. And his motto is, freedom is the right of all tension being us. So, the idea being he is very noble and august and shows the right principles. And the other reason for getting it was Paul and I did a video years ago using transformers as a joke for transformation. No, I didn't. You and Kenneth did. Not me. Paul, do you feel me? No, I was there. I was interviewed by Kenneth in glorious potato vision of at least three pixels. I'm talking about Otto's prime and transformers. So, I thought it'd be a lovely little gift for Paul. Thank you very much. Wait till Jesse's here. Stremachome. Show the camera. Jesse's got stretch arms strong. Stretch arms strong is an elastic toy or flexible toy, very malleable toy. What words can we use there? Flexible, malleable, adaptable, supple. Agile. Yes, a very agile toy. It's a symbol of someone who is incredibly agile and flexible. But also, it's a bit of a metaphor. So again, stretch arms strong, construction is malleable. But if you take the pressure off, it goes back to its old shape. That often happens in companies. They apply agile, they take the heat off and then watch when you stop applying heat. It goes back to the old shape. But here's the real reason I've got him. Don't you think stretch arms strong looks a bit like Jeff? Look at that. Look at the two of them. Put them together. See, look, look. I used to have hair that colour. Jeff Watts and stretch arms strong. There we go. Stretch arms strong here. Hello Jeff, I'm stretch arms strong. That's you Jeff there. Maybe your latest child will enjoy that at some point. Flexible and agile, and for is a great transform of the transformer. That's my gift from me to them. How cool is that? Likes in the comments please. Rock on. We're expecting great things. Paul gets two, Nigel gets one. Isn't that always the way? Nigel's cost more. Nice. Let's have a look. How do you want to do it? Hang on, I've got the tiny one. I thought it was the big one. Thanks mate. Thank you Jeff. Did you wrap this? Yes, I wrapped it. Great old time. My rule is only ever buy things that are in an oblong or square shape. They're good boxes. Is there any order? Whether you do one, I do one, then you do one. No luck full. This is Fully's Quiz Book. Including a dart board, 3 darts and a 4c8 paste quiz book. And you just mentioned Dark Club before we came online. Play Club. Super. Smashing grace. Can't beat a bit of bullying. Can you win a speedboat though? Can you win a speedboat? And I'll get it for my present? Yes. Have a pile mate. Find your keys, your phones, your everything. So, there you go. What was I trying to say? I lose my keys a lot. You lose shit? How many MacBook charges you got through this year? Oh, those. Not this year, but I got through MacBook charges quite a lot. Also phone charges. I lost my earphones. I've got the earpods. I'm on my fourth set of earpods. Fourth. They're not cheap. So you stick that on it? Fantastic. That looks amazing. Thank you, Gem. I'm going to use that on my keys. Fourth win. So it's technological and useful. And useful. The best type of agile. And now the last one. The last one. They're parachutes. I don't think it needs to look, but it's coming. Maybe there's a real way of it. I like to look. I look as I go. Oh, that's brilliant. Has that come out backwards? Micro drum kit. I'm not going to explain it. You explain it. Why have I brought you? Because I do like playing the drums. And a lot when music comes on the radio and on the stereo. I do tap the table. Geoff's notices this. You do it all then. I do a lot of this. Now I don't need an air drum kit. On the video, I saw you on the video. We've got the drum kit set up just for that. Good stuff. Bring out my NFL Collins. Thank you, mate. I'm going to have some fun with that. Thank you, buddy. Really nice. Thank you very much. Lovely gifts we've got. Love Christmas. So that's it. That's not it, is it? Christmas is also a time for looking back. Yeah. If you look back on the year what would you pull out as a high bat at a job? It's been interesting, isn't it? Because it's very easy once you've been doing it a long time to lose sight of the way and where you've come home. And it's also, when you stop at town I remember going to a gathering and everything would just be two bottles. Every session would be, oh my god, that's amazing. I never thought, oh my god, oh my god. These days, for me, it's a little bit more evolutionary. I'll tell you what, I've been quite liking it. I don't know enough about it. But I've been dipping my toe in the water with the wardly matting stuff. Which I've been finding quite interesting. It's become a big thing overnight even though it's been an awful long time. I've been quite enjoying that as a concept and playing with it a little bit. So something like that has been my 2018 highlights so far. Jake? Cool. What do you want to think then? Probably, I feel like I've given a lot in terms of volunteer work this year. You put a lot of effort into the gathering. Yeah, I put, and that took probably more of my time than I ever thought it would. Some people just gave up really early. But a lot of us stuck at it. And it was... It was... No, it was... I think I gave a lot back in terms of time this year and effort this year. I know it was hard work at the time but I kind of feel it was rewarding for me personally that we got there. It's interesting, because the gathering you did make a lot of changes to the gathering, didn't you? It was different to what the gatherings have been at before. That was quite cool. I'll try to break the mould a bit. It's going to be interesting to see if the gathering is going to do that. It's going to be interesting to see whether they'll take that on a build on that or not. But I think you did a good job. By the time it finished, it was a sense of achievement and pride and it was exhausting. Adam, you missed it. Say it again, Adam. Adam, you missed it. Poor continuous speech, but say it. It was... This is the first... I had proper wobbles at some point. It was that stretch. My shoulder was that wet. That tyre. It was tired and emotional, but it was probably worth it in the long run. And timing for it... Do you think he's moved that jump forward? Do you think he's moved scrum forward? It's difficult to say. It's like Noe says whether it goes, if those gatherings go back. I'd like to think... A lot of the feedback we got was there. The keynotes for the best part of it. Thank you, Helen. I think it was the best conference for a long time. I enjoyed it. I've been to a lot of them. If nothing else, I was proud to put my name on that as someone who organised it. So that was... It was worth it from that perspective. It didn't seem like it about two weeks before, but it was worth it two weeks afterwards. That was my kind of... I don't want to date this year. Volunteer, I thought I gave more as a volunteer as I had done in previous years last year. What about you, Jack? It's been a busy year for me. Very busy year for you personally. Yeah, it's done well. So I want to change my mind now. I was going to say something about the gathering. Now I don't really want to give you too much credit. Credit. But it was good. The story of my life. The thing I liked about it was I was really, really, really impressed with Tim Harker. I think he's been saying a lot of things for a long time that have ended in the theory in a practical sense. That makes sense. But he never really put in any of that. He's not talking about scrambles at all. He didn't get in there because of that. You didn't get in there because of that. Careful. But I think that sort of message that a lot of people liked the fact that most of the keynotes were nothing good with Agile but were everything to do with Agile. I thought it broadened people's horizons away from their neighbors. And I thought that was a really good thing. And if that's one thing I take away as something people remember then I think I've done a good job. And I find it interesting that you put a lot of effort into that moving the scrambles into that direction. And I've got an email yesterday from the Agile Alliance talking about a really going ultra-technical people. Really? Yeah, they are. But that's one stream, isn't it? I think at the government. Yeah, the Agile Alliance. The Agile Technical Alliance. They want to get a brilliant technical stream. I think it's a horse system course. I think having all the options available is good. But it's just for me, it's interesting when you said about nothing with Agile but all to do with Agile that made me have the sudden realisation that I've seen a few keynotes at these Agile conferences that were all Agile but had nothing to do with Agile. You know, all Agile terminology jarged and everything, but literally there was no spirit or soul of agility there. I think that's quite interesting. So just go back to the personal you've achieved a lot personally. Well, I've achieved this from work but I've done a lot. I've even had emails from people saying well, you've had a busy year. Even though Helen would disagree with that he hasn't had a busy year. He hasn't, he's had a busy year. Busy year doing nothing Helen. Busy year. But yeah, TV show. That was good, but that's good too. YouTube channel. God, so much has happened this year hasn't it? That was this year, it was that early this year. It's starting to stop every month. New courses. New clients. A lot of new. New competitions. Cards. It's like you've got a time to start a year doing advanced, advanced, yeah, yeah. And that back to a lot of her friends a lot of time. Who knows Helen's watching YouTube while she's posting the work. Someone out there is pale for Helen to watch this. Just point this out. Faithful. We like that. I've been doing videos this year as well. We just have really long, weird videos on YouTube. Very loud. And they're complaining because I don't quite get the volume levels right so I'm sort of talking nicely and I'm sort of going like I'm going to do this and that. Hello! Don't listen to them while you're driving your car. Well you should, they're video podcasts. They're all watching them, just listen to them. But yeah, so I've been putting them out this year and that's been something that's been actually entertaining but ahead of a lot of work. So I'm hopefully finishing them up in a new year, maybe for a while. But that's been good. Now I like you. Thank you Helen. So in general, for me, you forget. Like I moved house this year. I forgot on that completely. Yes you did. You came, normally. Let's not do that publicly. But yeah, I moved house this year and everything so it's been quite a lot on for me personally as well as work wise. And just to wrap up the year, my daughter lost her first tooth this morning. Her front teeth have come out. So it's quite interesting. No, Darcy. One tooth, Darcy, but he came out there with one tooth missing which she's quite happy about. So it's funny how for that, for her, it's her entire universe. So all this Brexit stuff and everything and yet for her, the most important thing in the universe is her tooth's kind of so it puts it all in perspective. Who's resolutions? Lose weight. Well I've lost loads of weight and then put it all back on. So I'm going to take it off again. After Christmas. It's also given me a couple of yesterday and says you're really skinny. I don't think I'm skinny. She's delusional. You're skinnier than we've known you for ever. No. I don't think you're skinny as you were. I'm staying heavier than mine. The photo, your photo on... Right, it's in the back of my book. No, your photo, your recent, your social media. Your YouTube photo. You are lighter than you are now. So what he's telling Jeff is just put weight on. You put on a bit of it. For Christmas. That's true actually. I've been at his weight angle for over a year. It's funny, whilst they go on about we're not talking about their weight. The intention is resolution. So you're going to lose weight? Yes, I am. I'm 17. I'm going to Washington Adult 2019 and I've lost weight already. You've got any ideas for topics? Give me a shout. I've spoken about everything over the years but I don't know what people are interested in at the moment. So tell me and I'll put something here on it. I don't know. As long as people have things I don't know about. So what's your new resolution Jeff? So... I don't really make that but I do have some goals. One of my goals is family life is changing. Oh yes. Big time. Going back to being a little person daddy. I need to... and I want to. So I need to and I want to scale the time that I'm working. Away from home. Not just that but at home as well. So I work from home as well as working away. I want to be able to switch off more. So people email me and I get back to the relative quickly and I need to... I need to slow down a bit because I need to just take a little bit of a step back and realise that things aren't going to go this shit and I don't reply quickly. You do an even texting stuff about work. You'll work beyond the weekends and I can see that because you'll text me about work stuff on the weekends. Well I have an obligation and I feel obligation and it's important. It moves things forward and it makes things happen quickly. But it does set a precedent that you have. That's something I'm looking to do. As well as the other things I'm going to do I've got different things that you can of course and CSP course and stuff like that. But from a personal level I'll bring that back. Slow down a bit. Good for you. You know what? I don't really know yet. Is that wrong? I haven't really made any new year's resolutions yet. You've got another couple of weeks left. I don't know what I thought to achieve next year would probably do some bit more for me personally than for the people. It's okay. You can look after yourself there. Well yeah. Just to try and push my own agenda a bit more. What is your agenda? I don't know. Find an agenda that pushes back. I've never known. I've got a couple of ideas to do personally. Biggest regret in 2018. One thing I want to say though is Agile 2019 is going to have a self-care track. Is it? So the idea of self-care basically. Mental health. I think a lot of coaches burn themselves up on their own. Don't get anyone. That sort of sustainable pace back because that would be kind of cool. Someone came up to me in a user group meeting this year and said what's your view on that? As an Agile coach is that something you should get involved with and something you should try and not advise on but be aware of. I said absolutely you've got to be aware of it. It's a real issue. I don't think I'm qualified to deal with it but you've got to be aware that it's quite where your family is I mocked it in that devil presentation I did about how a lot of Agile coaches talk about sustainable pace yet eat too much like me drink too much stay up too late and wear the candle both ends and they present an image that isn't sustainable and that's what people pick up. They don't hear the principle they just see the working man in Agile and I think we're going to get on top of that a little bit as well but it's hard when you get paid per day so I can understand the issues with that people but I think that's why I would do Agile 2018 to do that track. You've never been to Agile? No, my secret shame has just been outed on this one because I've never done the Agile conference I've done all the others but never Agile. Surely you're issuing for a presentation a submission? Watching a submitter presentation track viewers forever owners, chairs I don't know how to present them I've got loads of things I can talk about but I've got nothing burning in my heart at the moment I don't know what I would put things I've got to think about that Is your story actually what you believe? Yes Nigel's approach to Agile it's just finding a track to it Let the track find you Don't worry too much about the track that's my opinion Regrets Regrets I've had a few but then again too few to mention Sorry Frank Thanks I was just processing the lyrics What's your regret to call it? My regrets? Reckier? Yes, no I don't have many regrets Regrets I think Working too much maybe sometimes Not spending too much When you get letters from your kids I put a letter on Twitter This was a couple of months ago My daughter basically said Daddy you work too much My only wish She knows what she's doing But my only wish is that you spend more time at home and you didn't have to work I was like Ouch My biggest regret is probably I'll trade that for good behaviour Yeah Going back to my office when I probably could have just closed off for the evening carrying on email That's my biggest regret We are very lucky but sometimes I take the work too far and I do too much from a time perspective and it's not especially at Christmas when you realise I'm cranking my kids at nine and seven and this potentially could be one of the last magical Christmases that we have Still time mate I know I'm through Oh yeah Biggest regret I do genuinely regret missing the signal Signal Single Idea We wrote that G-Rail on the 49th Of course they did I would like to have been there for that I feel I've missed that on a few things just again because of work but also I've just been Regrets I don't know I don't regret my year too much Nothing much I can't think of anything or personal wise I regret this year I think it's fumbled along pretty nicely for me If I could do I would like the advanced scrum thing to be a bit better for me It's quite hard to get people to be interested in that and the reason I regret that is not because I want to sell it but I just find it very interesting the more advanced getting real scrum master and really exciting cool things I wish I could have a little bit more opportunities to do that so maybe the shape of the work that comes in would be interesting for that more advanced space but otherwise it's been quite a good year actually Thank you One of my I think it might be too strong a word but one of my views is that don't regret what you have done and regret what you haven't done for example with me not really not doing much I basically said yes to a lot of things so I didn't regret any of them Yeah No, I don't regret anything that I've done have I not done something that I wish I had But that's the elephant room, the gathering you were part of the gathering and you decided not to do it was that something you regret? No, so that was a conscious choice something I was active in stepping away from it and I'm still happy that I did Yeah, I'm happy that I signed up for it I'm happy the way that I did what I did and I'm happy that I didn't I wasn't there at the end in a way I don't regret it I think you needed to be done but it wasn't something at the end and you thought I wish I was a part of that but you think the impact that you had was deserved and was right Yeah, to be honest I probably thought I would have done but but no I was quite happy with that I think that's something I was happy about it's half a rage I think Yeah I didn't really feel sort of anything I still had fun Yeah still got something from it Yeah, it's good Thanks mate Right Glass is empty, mine's not Mine's not Standard for you Are we done for this live broadcast? Thanks for joining us Can I do a shout out to you? So, as part of this live edition we will, our day doesn't stop here so we carry on now Right and we're going to carry on to a different pub, no downer actually and there will be more recordings and we generally I have about a week's worth of work to edit this and put it down into an editable palatable digestible format that will appear on the agile pubcast and that will be going out probably earlier next week depending on the amount of time I spend editing it So there we are so that's coming up, so keep tuned for that subscribe to the agile pubcast and we can hear that next week Oh, this is the best thing ever we've not mentioned Jeff's amazing story On the way here from the train station this morning Jeff said, well I won't spill the punchline but Jeff said have you noticed a lump on my forehead and we both know Can you see I got a lump on my head? No, nobody can Tell the story I actually got a big lump it's not maybe not that big but I got a big lump on my head but I got head butted by a dog yesterday We have to now explain how I don't know what kind of dog it is We're surely a large dog Oh yeah, it was a big dog It was somewhere, it was bigger than our station but not big as a great dame So it's sort of a 10 Yeah, 10, yeah well and it was so it was my house so I'm having some building work down my house and the builder brought the dog and I loved dog I love dogs but I'm not allowed to have one so whenever there's a dog around I'll play with it so I might as well try the tennis ball throw the tennis ball and I'm really excited went off and got the tennis ball, bored about it to me I didn't want to drop it it did want to drop it but it also at the same time didn't want to drop it and it really couldn't work out what was going on it was upset with itself because in his head I thought I want to run and get this ball again but I don't want to go with this ball and it was growling in itself and it was really quite frustrated so I was trying to get the ball in it I got the ball out of it and eventually it came back and just whacked me on the eyebrow and almost knocked me out it was quite... its head is just bone and it's quite a big dog wow, that plays me so in general the story was not as interesting as the result I told you that but the dog head butted it except to mention that I also have videos on youtube that you all fancy watching them just don't listen to them while you're driving they're video podcast they're video podcast but find them on my channel which I'm sure you can find somehow so if I could turn this off now Jeff we'd rather say goodbye now we'd rather say goodbye Merry Christmas and a happy new year and I think that's the end isn't it stop streaming, goodbye