 Somebody in this damn room has got to make a play. Hell, if I got to throw a set of pads on and do it myself, then I will. I ain't here to yell at you, OK? I ain't here to yell at you. I ain't here to bitch and moan at you. But holy hell, holy hell, that was bad. Listen, I'll be honest with y'all. We got a damn playoff game in the snow. And I know it's home field. They say home field advantage. Listen, there ain't no damage advantage for playing out there in the snow. The ball is going to be hard as a rock, OK? That ball is going to be hard as a rock when you kick that thing. It's going to be heavy. Be ready for it, OK? Receivers, it's going to be like you're catching damn boulders out there, all right? Well, here's the worst part. They're like wet boulders in the snow, because not only is it cold as hell, they're wet as shit, too. A dadgum thing is going to be driven like a dadgum Hanukkah candle, OK? So it's about the fundamentals. It's about the fundamentals today. Facing the Rams, they have a very, very good defense. We need to play ball control, because they're going to take advantage of the weather. And now we can do the same, OK? But we can't be making no dumb mistakes. So we've got to go out there, play the football that we've been coached to play the whole damn season. And we've got to come out of this thing with a victory, and we're going to the Super Bowl. The stakes are high. This is not going to be an easy game. Fields, break them out. Let's get the hell out of here. Coach, is this time instead of ice cream, can we get some hot Coke? Oh, my Lord, you're talking about damn ice for break them out. Let's get the hell out of here. Hey, Miss Fan, what's your favorite movie mine is Mind Goblin? Mind Goblin? What is Mind Goblin? Dude, they have a white uniform. It's like stealth, dude. They're a freaking stealth football team. This is so bad, man. Mind Goblin, my nuts. OK, really? OK, here we go. This is going to be a very rough game, dude. OK, good. Good. Good stop. Play action. First play of the game. They're going to think we're going to run the ball. OK, we just got work. Dude, I can barely see their defense, dude. They're like actually stealth. Big power right here, pre-snap motion, and freaking blast them, dude. He fell again. You had nobody there, dude. Bruised ribs. Get your ass in the game. We are the freaking conference championship. Wait, what? Was that Mario Edwards again? Wait, what's wrong? What's the injury? Broken ribs. Dude, really? You told them, doctor, told me they were bruised. I hope this isn't come back to bite me. I hope this isn't come back to bite me. Nice sack. Nice. Dude, that knocked him out of field goal range, dude. That was huge. Actually massive. OK, really? On the one? Nice. Oh, oh. No. And out of bounds. Nice. Taysom Hill. Nice catch, dude. But I have a really important question. I would ask this question at halftime, but all of the other players would make fun of me. I hurt my feelers. Dude, I'm telling you they're stealth. I didn't even see that guy, dude. He's in field goal. OK, he's got a field goal for sure. Here we go. Dude, they missed. Hey, eyes up here. Eyes up here. Dog shit. That's how I would write this damn game so far. I told you this game was going to be hard. I told you this game was going to be hard. But that don't mean you can play like that. They ain't beating us. The weather ain't even beating us. We're beating us. That's what's happening. We're beating us. 0-6. No points. I'll be honest. Defense, you ain't done a bad job. We ain't let up a damn touchdown yet. But hey, coach, can I sit this next half out? This Dick Strain is really getting me. You've been sitting out the first half as far as I'm concerned. When they miss a damn field goal at the end of the game and you've got to go rough the damn kicker and they get a second shot at three points right before the end of the half to score six points, passes, and a touchdown, that's ridiculous. We got the ball. Coach, our water boy came in my socks again. I can't play like that. I keep sliding and it's not because of snow. It is snow. It's not not snow. Somebody has got to make a play. Somebody in this damn room has got to make a play. Hell, if I got to throw a set of pads on and do it myself, then I will. What is your response to the reports? Hill went to Olive Garden and only ate two breadsticks. Get the hell out of my damn locker room. Why are you in here? If someone is this wasteful on his own, how can they continue to produce on the field? This a damn team eating. Get the hell out. All right, take care. I'm going to beat this guy's ass. OK, let's see what we can do, dude. Now a shotgun snap as they're looked at. Thank you. Dude, he overthrew him so hard. Nice. Big sack. Big sack, dude. He batted it down into the other guy's hand. Look at this. User, swat, boom. I can't catch it. Boom. Swat it down right into this guy's hands. Dude, we're just trying to pound the ball, dude. Three and a half yards of carry is what we're getting right now. Oh, the seam touchdown. No. Oh, my gosh. Oh, what a hit. Pop the football out, dude. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. What? User picked Deon Muldrow, the rookie safety, dude. The offensive line, they're doing a nice job of trying to protect their passer. But when a guy hops in the air and goes down. Did I get it? Nice. The field and this guy came on down. Nice. Dude, Justin Fields doesn't even have 100 yards yet. It's fourth down. Ready? Three. Well, and they may have to rethink their plans on fourth down. Chat sometimes. You just have to trust your athletes. And that's why we're going to give the ball to Robert Griffin. Here we go. He's going to keep it. He's going to try to run for it. Come on, RG3. We're going to get a safety. We're going to get a safety here. We're going to go up by Fulvo right here. Ready? Three, two, I feel it. I feel it right here. No. If we stop them here, end zone. That means with a touchdown, we win. With a touchdown, we win. Game on the line, season on. You had a wide open. I couldn't get my feet set to throw it. I need you to unhitch the way. Dude, why is he running to the locker room? Adjust to the football. Can we ask the Rams if we can have some of their ice cream? There is no ice cream ever. Take a damn seat. Quit packing your shit. That was damn near post-apocalyptic nuclear explosion, complete and total meltdown. Damn Mako Reactor, Final Fantasy VII bullshit, OK? Hey, coach, I got the Delta variant and was spending the night at your mom's house last night just a heads up. That was our game. To lose like that at home, Super Bowl favorites 14 and 2. Coach, Alan Robinson here. I want to request a trade after you ran the ball four times in the last three minutes of the game. Listen, maybe if you would catch something for once in your life, we could throw it. And maybe if we had a quarterback who could get his damn feet set and put some damn power into his throws, we wouldn't be throwing five interceptions in a game. Listen, I know it's snowing. I told you that. You knew that. You got to put a little bit more juice on it. I ain't here to yell at you, OK? I ain't here to yell at you. I ain't here to bitch and moan at you. But holy shit, I've never seen. Now listen, like I said, I ain't here to yell at you. I don't want this dadgum colossal monstrosity of the last quarter of a football game to take away. I'm sorry, coach. From the good. Down. I let my brothers down. You did. You did. But most of all, I let my nana down. You did. You did. I'm sorry. There's a lot of good that happened this season, but there's obviously some major issues. Obviously some major issues with this here football team. And I'm proud of what y'all did in the regular season, but this is unacceptable. Coach, coach, stop dog. He is stuffing fields in a locker again. Can defense get ice cream, because they scored more on defense than offense? Hey, no. Nobody's getting ice cream. And two, Doug, get fields out of the damn locker, because he's got to pack his things, because he probably ain't going to be here next year. I'm going to be honest with you. I've got to face the damn media, OK, and put up with y'all's bullshit in front of him. So think about what you did, and help fields pack your things. I want to address a couple of things right off the bat. I do think as far as coaching decisions go, I think we had excellent play calling all game, offensively, defensively, special teams, but we just did not execute. And that's just the reality of it. And if we don't execute. Coach, do you teach your quarterbacks to throw footballs or throw games? I'm going to be honest with you. I'm about to teach that son of a bitch to throw laundry, because he's going to be throwing all this shit in the damn equipment room before I fire his ass, OK? That was the worst damn display of quarterbacksmanship that I've ever seen. We do feel like we have a lot of talent on this team. We feel like this is a Super Bowl caliber football team. Hey, coach, in the back. Stacey from Bears Fan Club, can you like? Put a dug in. Maybe you'd score more. The only thing we're going to score is the dad gum orchestra score. Because Doug is a damn good violinist, but he just ain't there as a running back. You know, obviously we had some injuries down the stretch. We, you know, Mario Edwards broke his ribs early in the game. We heard it was, you know, bruised ribs. He said he couldn't breathe good. He said he had a little bit of bruise. Doctor checked him out, said his bruise was OK. It's fine. Get your ass back out there, son. He goes back out there and ends up breaking his damn ribs. So we think it was a hairline fracture that may have gotten worse. That doctor is, he will not be with us. You know, and that's a serious issue, when we honest with y'all. That's a serious issue, and we don't need our medical staff. What was the philosophy behind choosing not to chew the clock when your team was ahead in the fourth quarter? Listen, I don't chew no clock, OK? Trust me, I did plenty of chewing on the damn sidelines because I was chewing ass up and down the damn, from 120 all the way to the damn other 20, OK? I was chewing ass all night. I didn't have time to chew no damn clock. Hey, coach, Grant from the Chicago Tribune here. The play calling was absolutely atrocious. Oh, Lord. You went for it on a fourth and long in the first quarter. Do you think it's time to bring in a real offensive coordinator? Listen, listen, listen. I can call the plays and head coach of football team. That's fine. OK, some folks want to make a, you know, bringing a play call specialist and this and that. It don't matter. Coach Rob here with sports drama, what are your thoughts of the rumors of you being possibly fired because of the poor performance in the game? Now, there is no way in hell I can get fired. I'm the best damn coach this team has ever seen.