 Really, the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbor, the Anderson's, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good to the last drop. According to the renowned Victor Hugo, no one ever keeps a secret so well as a child, which proves just one thing. In his long and colorful career, Victor Hugo never bought a birthday present for his wife. You know, when you get right down to it, that may be the major difference between Victor Hugo and our friend Jim Anderson. Jim bought a dilly of a birthday present for Margaret, and as a result, the White Frame House on Maple Street is literally crawling with secrecy, like this. But Father, I didn't know you didn't want me to take it. I told them distinctly, I didn't want it delivered until Monday. Where am I going to hide it? Well, there must be lots of places. Oh, sure. Name three places where I can hide a nine by 15 rug. All you need is one place. All right, name one place. Well. It's like hiding a hippopotamus. I'll be right in. Never mind. I didn't come down the stairs, dad. It must have been somebody else. What was? The hippopotamus. Nobody said anything about anybody coming down the stairs. But you said, what's that? It's mother's birthday present. The rug? She'll see it. I know she'll see it. That's why I. What kind of a surprise is it going to be if she sees it? But why don't you go away for a few days? You need a vacation. I do? Mother. She isn't here. Where do you think I ought to go? But don't ever ask me that again. Why can't we just put it in the attic? Mother never goes up there. Because I know your mother. Just let me hide the rug in the attic, and that's where she'll live. How about Joe Phillips' uncle's farm? That'd be a good place. But I think it'd be a good place. For what, daddy? For hiding a rug. What rug? That rug. Oh. I didn't mean to hide the rug. I meant for a vacation. Who said anything about a vacation? You did. But let's start all over. Do I have to go out in the hall again? No, just the garage wouldn't be any good. She's out there 10 times a day. Daddy, how about in back of the furnace? Sure, and have the whole thing burn up. Daddy. Hey, I know. Why don't we unroll it and hide it under the old rug? Because it'll stick out a foot and a half on each end. That's why. Daddy. Couldn't we sort of fold it up a little? Don't be a goon. There'd be a big lump. Oh, I don't know. We could tell your mother it was the body of an old friend. Father. What if she peaked? But. She'd find out it wasn't a body, and then what? But I've never mind. Daddy. What is it, Kathy? We better hide the rug, or mommy'll see it. That's a good idea. Thank you. It's a good thing we don't have to hide the billiard table. Bye. That's it. We're going to hide the billiard table? Bud, give me a hand with the rug. OK. Kathy, open the door to the playroom like a good girl. Yes, Daddy. What are you going to do with the rug, Father? We're going to hide it in the one place your mother won't ever look. We'll open it up and lay it on top of the billiard table. Father, that's wonderful. Yes, sir. She'll never find it there. The door's open, Daddy. Thank you, kitten. All right, Bud. Let's go before your mother gets home. I'll take this in. OK. Heck, I'd have thought of the billiard table. But I didn't know it was a green rug. It happens to be blue. Blue? She'll spot it right away. Whoever heard of a blue billiard table. We're going to put the cover over it. Oh. Hey, that's good. Thank you, Albert Einstein. Watch your step, Father. Kathy left her skates on the stairs. I did not. You certainly did. I certainly didn't. Never mind, Bud. Keep going. Why don't you two stop arguing? I wasn't arguing. You certainly were. I certainly weren't. All right, Bud. This is fine. Now put it down. Boy, is that ever heavy. Now, Betty, why don't you and Kathy take the cover off the table? OK. Come on, Nothead. You take the other side. Isn't this fine? Then Bud and I can lift the rug. Jim. Oh, my gosh. Come on. Get that cover off. Hurry up, Kathy. I am hurrying. Bud. Well, it slipped, Dad. Well, pick it up. Jim, where are you? All right, Bud. Roll it up. I don't think it's going to work. It's got to work. Aren't you going to answer, Mommy? We'll send her a wire in the morning. Bud, there's too much on this end. Pull it down. OK. Father, the cover's getting heavy. Come on, Bud. Jim. Well, you said. It's all set, Dad. We'll be right up, honey. All right, the cover. Quick. Jim, what in there? Smooth it out and hurry. It's all covered, Father. Good. It brought me home from the market and I thought, what have you been doing? Doing? Why, uh, just, uh, uh. Sitting around. That's all. Well, you certainly sit hard. You're all out of breath. I'm not, Mommy. And I lifted the whole. I guess I didn't. Margaret. They're all in the playroom, Hector. Come on down. Never mind, Hector. We're coming up. Why, Jim? I thought you wanted Hector to see the billiard table. No. What? I mean, Hector isn't interested in billiard tables. Jim, have you torn the top again? Oh, no. We put it on very carefully. Oh. You put what on very carefully? Look, I gotta get home. And if you're gonna stay down here all day, I... You didn't have to come down, Hector. We were on our way up. Work, we kid. You bet. Yes, sir. Well, dear, as long as he's down here, show Hector the table and let him go home. Heck, you don't want to see the billiard table, do you? Sure I do. That's why I came over. But it's just an ordinary billiard table. Jim. It's a minor problem. That's pretty good, isn't it, Betty? Full of old bodies. If a body meets a body coming through the billiard table. Is this what happens when you buy a billiard table? I don't know what's gotten into them, Hector. I've never seen them act so silly. I wasn't acting silly. I noticed that. I don't think so. But did you ever show Mr. Smith the pictures? What pictures? Any pictures. Heck, why don't you go upstairs with Fudd? I don't want to go upstairs with Fudd. Would you like to see how I can multiply? Eight times three or 24. Eight times four. That's enough, Kathy. But I know up to nine times. I said that's enough. Yeah. Honey, you know we're being very impolite. Don't you think we ought to offer Hector a cup of coffee? Jim. After all, he's a guest in our home. I came in for one minute to see the billiard table. Mother, I've got a wonderful idea. Let's go upstairs and make some coffee. Boy, that'll be fun. All right. If that gets a little dull, we can watch the linoleum. Golly! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Golly! Come along, children. Let's all get hysterical together. Oh, sure. I'd rather do that than almost anything. I would, too. Say, Jim, I was talking to a doctor the other day. Wait a minute. I don't know if I should. You know, if you get these things early enough, well, a big help you turned out to be of all the times to show up. I wanted to see the billiard table. What's wrong with that? I couldn't show it to you. Why not? Because it's got a rug on top of it. Jim, this doctor I was telling you. You don't believe me, huh? Okay, look. You see? A rug. Okay, so it's a rug. That makes you all right, huh? I'm hiding it. Uh, yeah. Uh, look, Jim. Hector, it's a surprise for the living room. That's fine, pal. It'll probably tickle the heck out of the kitchen, too. Mr. Margaret, it's her birthday. Oh. Oh, well, why didn't you say so? I just did. Yes, Margaret? We'll be right there, honey. Come on, Hector. Okay. The kids are in on the secret, huh? They're all right. They won't say anything about it. Margaret might suspect something. Say, heck, how would it be if I hid the rug over at your place? Fine. We have rugs hidden all over the joint. Heck, got a closet full of pancakes, too. It'll only be until Monday, Jim. Why don't you just give it to her? How can you surprise anybody with a rug? Believe me, it isn't easy. Well, if you want to bring it over to my place, okay. Watch, watch it. Hiya, honey. Everything under control? Quite. I sent the little monsters into the den. Well, let's see what they're up to, heck. I, uh... Uh, just a minute, Jim. You go ahead, Hector. I'd like to speak to Peter Pan. Okay. I'll send up two red flares if I need help. I'll be right in, heck. Nice guy, heck. All right, Jim. What? What was all that hoopty-doo in the playroom? Hoopty-doo? Something was going on in the playroom. I want to know what it was. Well... Yes? There's only one thing I can tell you, Margaret. It's a secret. I see. After 18 years, we have secrets. Well, yes. I'm sorry, but, uh, that's it. All right, let's both have secrets. Next time you talk in your sleep, I'll take notes. Fine, you... I don't talk in my sleep. No? No. All right. Did I ever talk in my sleep? Last night? I did? That's impossible. Well, what did I say? You mean last night? Yes. It's a secret. There are enough secrets floating around the Anderson home today to keep the ordinary family supplied for a month. Well, what I have to say is no secret. My business is coffee. The Maxwell House coffee. Rich, full-bodied, truly satisfying coffee. And I honestly believe that if you enjoy really good coffee as much as I do, the coffee for you is our Maxwell House. You see, you just won't find that wonderful good to the last drop flavor in any other coffee. No coffee but Maxwell House. And there's a good reason for that. Coffee, you know, grows all over the world, and there are all kinds of grades and varieties. But mark this. Maxwell House selects the very finest, extra-flavorful varieties. The kinds that are grown only on the mile-high plateaus of Latin America. For example, fancy Manizales coffees are chosen for their fragrant mellowness. Superb mellons for extra richness. Choice Bucaramangas coffees for fine, full-body. And it is these choice varieties blended in just the right proportions that produces that world-famous good-to-the-last drop flavor of Maxwell House coffee. No wonder then, no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House. No other coffee is made like Maxwell House. So if truly good coffee helps make your day a better one, start enjoying our Maxwell House. The coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand at any price. It's the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. It's a breathless moment later as Jim Anderson enters the den of the White Frame House on Maple Street. But this isn't the fun-loving, gay-spirited rover boy we left a minute ago. This is a grim-faced, invisibly shaken Jim Anderson, a man with a whole new set of problems. Like this. So there they were, see, with man on second and third. She would get away with it, and wait a minute, please. Look, why don't you kids go into the kitchen and help your mother? She'd just take this out. She said she was gonna scream. Well... Is anything wrong, Father? Oh, no, I tell you what, you all go into the living room and wait for me. I'd like to talk to Mr. Smith for a minute. Holy cow. Doubt of places. Hurry up, or you'll get kicked in places. Daddy! Come on, noodle-nose. Well, stop pulling me. All you do is pull me. We'll be in the living room when you want us, Father. Thank you, Betty. See you later, Mr. Smith. You bet. Oh, what a spot. Does she know? I don't know. What are you so worried about? Hector, there comes a time in the life of every married man. Jim! You know what I just found out? What? I talk in my sleep. Oh, for crying out loud. What do you mean, oh, for crying out loud? That's a serious thing. Yeah, nuts. How would you like to talk in your sleep? About what? That's the trouble I don't know. Jim, look, a guy like you who's never done anything wrong in his whole life... How do you know I haven't? You mean you have? Naturally. You? Well, what if I talked about the fish? What fish? The fish you and I caught up at the lake. Only we didn't catch them. We bought them at the market. Well, they weren't biting. Oh, my gosh. Now what? The poker game last week. I lost $12. So? I told Margaret I lost $2. Boy, you're a real devil, aren't you? Heck, you don't understand what this means. A man's home is his castle. His word is law. And then what happens? He goes to sleep and... Zowie, he's defenseless. When was he any other way? But I'll be afraid to fall asleep. There's no telling what I'll say. Well, didn't Margaret give you a hint? She gave me nothing but a dirty laugh. That's bad. You know, I feel just like I'm going down for the third time. I can see my whole life floating by. See anybody we know? Heck, it isn't funny. It's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Is that so? I'm not afraid of what I've done because I haven't done anything, really. But what if I make up things? Well, what if I have a dream and I'm chasing Betty Grabo? I'm chasing Betty Grabo. I'm chasing Betty Grabo. Call me up. I'll join you. Hector, why don't you go home? All you want to do is make jokes. I wanted to go home ten minutes ago, but no, I have to hear about talking in your sleep and rugs. Jim, let go of my coat, will you? You'll tear it. What if I told her about the rug? Well, it's better than Betty Grabo, isn't it? Jim, will you please... Hey, wait a minute. I have an idea. If I talked about the rug, the kids will never forgive me. Why don't we find out? What? Look, kids can find out anything, especially from their mothers. So your kids try to find out if you talk about the rug. But I still won't know if I said anything about... And if you didn't talk about the rug, they'll find out what you did talk about. Clever, huh? In other words, I'm to make spies out of three innocent children. Good idea, huh? It isn't bad. Not bad at all. Well, this time I'm going to go before I get mixed up in anything else. Wait a minute, Heck. I'll take you to the front door. Okay. Look, Heck, exactly how do you think I ought to go about this? Just lay it right on the line about the rug you mean. Sure. So long, kids. See you later, Margaret. She can't hear you from here, Heck. I'll tell her you said goodbye. Okay. And Jim, you don't have to worry. Leave everything to the kids. They'll figure it out. I'll tell my kids. I'll probably wind up in Alcatraz. Well, you know what they say. Share, share, La Femme. What's that got to do with it? Who knows? I had one here in high school French. Well, I'll be seeing you, pal. I'll let you know what happens. Don't bother. I'll read about it in the newspaper. Sometimes I wish I had a job in a nice, quiet lighthouse. Did you and Mr. Smith get everything straightened out, Father? Be president. And they can too, can't they? I didn't say they couldn't. I just said I'd move. That's all. Kids, I've got something pretty serious to take up with you. I may have told your mother about the rug. I'll wait a minute. I'm not sure I did. I said maybe. You mean you don't know? That's right. I said something in my sleep last night and I don't know what it was. Gosh. It might have been about the rug or it might have been about other things. What other things? Never mind. Father, that's awful. What did you do a thing like that for? Because I wanted to see if the bedroom had an echo. Oh. How could you tell if you were asleep? I... let's go back to the rug. Father. Yes? Would you mind if we... Well, I guess we shouldn't. You shouldn't what? Well, I was thinking. If some of us pretended we knew what you said mother might tell the rest of us and... No, you wouldn't want us to do that. Why wouldn't I? I mean, if you want to... You don't mind? I don't mind at all. You know what I don't understand? What's everybody talking about? I don't understand either. Look, bud, we'll go into the kitchen and you pretend you know what father said. I don't know what anybody said. You heard what father said last night. How do you know? You pretend you did. What for? Betty, I think you'd better try something else. Well, you better try it fast. Mommy's coming. Jim. I'm right here, honey. Where's Hector? Oh, he said for me to tell you goodbye. He had to go home. Oh, dear. After I went to all that trouble. Come on, bud. It isn't fair and you know it. Huh? What did father say? When? Last night. Well, how do I know? Betty, it's no use. Maybe we'd better... Just a minute, father. Mother, if a boy hears what his father says when he's talking in his sleep, why, bud? Did you hear your father last night? Of course he did. Didn't you, bud? I didn't hear anybody last night. Bud, please. But I told you... Oh. You mean... Oh. Oh, sure. I heard him. I just remembered. Betty, believe me. Yes, sir. I sure did hear him. Boy, was he funny. Yes, dear. He was very funny. I'm glad somebody enjoyed it. What was funny about it? Well... Never mind, bud. We don't need you. Mother's going to tell us. Aren't you, mother? No, angel. I'm not. You're not? That isn't the sort of thing one band is about. Is it, bud? Gosh, no. And, bud, you're not to tell them either. Oh, you can count on that. We can count on what? I'm not allowed to tell. Jim, this whole thing is pretty obvious. What is? Using the children to find out what you said last night. Well... Good grief, Margaret. Is that what you... Kathy, please. But I know what Daddy said. You do? Why didn't you say so? Nobody asked me. Kathy, why don't you and I go for a little walk? Okay. Jim, she doesn't know anything about it. Yes, I do, Mommy. You couldn't possibly. You were sound asleep. Oh, I didn't hear it last night. I heard it this afternoon when you were telling Mrs. Hathaway on the phone. Oh. You told Mrs. Hathaway. I didn't know such thing. Well, you said something about Daddy. Don't you remember? You said, hello, Lucille. How's Laurie's cold? And then you said, my goodness. Isn't that all said? Kathy, will you please get to the point? I have to remember, don't I? Well, go ahead. Kathy. Then she said, you'll never guess what Jim and the children are getting me for my birthday. Margaret. Oh, dear. And then she said, Helen Phillips was shopping at Gormans. And she saw Jim go into the rug department. Holy cow. And then she said, Kathy, why don't you stop it? We've heard enough. Yes, Daddy. I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to spoil your fun. You knew all the time, didn't you? Yes, dear. About the rug? All that excitement in the playroom? Yes, dear. Oh, Margaret. Yes, dear. Happy billiard table. Thank you. The flavor of truly good coffee means a lot in your house, doesn't it? And naturally you want to enjoy the one coffee with the most in flavor. Well, it's because of flavor, wonderfully good to the last drop flavor that more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand. And if you pour yourself a steaming, fragrant cup of our Maxwell House, you'll say this is the best coffee ever. Then count all the truly good cups you get from each pound. You'll agree, Maxwell House is today's coffee buy. This weekend, then, for the most in flavor and value, take home the familiar blue tin of Maxwell House with a big white cup and drop. Enjoy that real taste of contentment in the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. It's midnight in Springfield and an autumn moon hangs low in a star-swept sky. Maple Street is quiet and dark except for a small light in the bedroom of the Anderson Home. There, life goes on. Like this. Jim, won't you please come to bed? A little while, honey. I want to read another two or three chapters. You said the same thing an hour ago. I did? Well, it's a very interesting book. Certainly must be. Jim. Yes, Margaret. Are you and the children very angry with me? Of course not. We aren't angry at all. Then why won't you come to bed? Uh... You go to sleep and then I'll come to bed. Jim, are you still worrying about that silly talking business? I'm not worried about anything. You just go to sleep. Come over here. Now look, Margaret. Come over here. Good grief. Treat a man as though he didn't have any... All right, I'm here. Sit down. Now, would you like to know what you said last night? It isn't important, but if you want to tell me... Well, you had the most peaceful smile on your face. Must have been a beautiful dream. Honey, please. Then you sighed and you said, so softly, anyone for tennis? Good night, Margaret. Good night, dear. You mean, one day I'm in love with strawberry jello? A swell dish. You bet, but next day I'm in love with raspberry jello. Another swell dish. It's all six delicious jello flavors. My wife loves jello because it's so easy to fix and so easy on the grocery bill. Easy to fix, thrifty to buy. That's jello. That's my love. How's your supply, folks? Remember, it's jello for red letter desserts. So off to the club where you go and reach for J-E-L-L-O. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast were Rhoda Williams as Betty, Gene Vanderpile, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean-Nilson, Herb Bygren and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. You will want to read an interesting feature on Robert Young in the current issue of Parade Magazine. Join Mr. Keen, Tracer of Lost Persons on NBC.