 Have you ever found yourself unintentionally causing confusion or doubt in others through your actions or words? Gaslighting is a tactic that some people may use to manipulate and control others' thoughts and emotions. However, it's worth mentioning that it can also happen unintentionally. Olympia Sophie, a mindset mentor, explains that past experiences with trauma or abuse may result in someone engaging in unintentional gaslighting. To avoid causing harm to others, it's helpful to be aware of the common phrases used in gaslighting and to choose alternative, more supportive language. Here are a few examples of some suggestions for what to say instead. If you recognize any of the signs described, please don't see this as a personal attack. The goal of this article is to help you improve and move forward if you've been feeling stuck. You're making a big deal out of nothing. Have you ever felt dismissed when someone told you you're making a big deal out of nothing? It can be tough when someone doesn't understand or value what's important to you. Things can make you feel like your feelings, opinions, and concerns aren't valid, and that can lead to frustration and anger. Saying something like, it's clear this is important to you. Let's work together to find a solution is much better because it recognizes the importance of the situation to the other person, demonstrating empathy and a desire to understand. By working together towards a solution, you both have a hand in the resolution process, which can lead to a better outcome for everyone involved. This can help resolve conflicts in a kind and effective way. I'm only doing this because I care about you. Have you ever said, I'm only doing this because I care about you even though you have a selfish reason for it? This can trick the other person into thinking your actions no matter how harmful are meant to be kind, and gives the impression that your intentions are noble and that you're acting in the best interest of the person you're speaking to, even if your actions don't match that. It can be used to control or deceive the other person, making it hard for them to trust their own feelings or judgment of the situation. A validating phrase like, my intentions are to support you. Let's talk about how I can do that better, is a more considerate approach. It doesn't imply that the other person's views don't matter and the former phrase can come across as dismissive and assume that your actions are always right no matter the impact, and can be perceived as controlling and manipulative, which can cause distrust and mistrust. By using the new phrase, you are showing a willingness to listen and work together to find a common solution. You're too sensitive. Have you ever heard someone say you're too sensitive when you express your feelings? This can come across as dismissive or hurtful, like your feelings aren't valid. The person might use this phrase because they think you're overreacting, but your emotions are just as valid as anyone else's. This can be used to control conversation or diminish your experiences. It's important to be heard and understood. And sometimes, all it takes is a little empathy and understanding. A respectful phrase such as, it's okay to have feelings and be sensitive, we're all human, is more acceptable. This shows empathy and validates the other person's emotions by acknowledging their sensitivity you create a supportive atmosphere where they feel heard and respected. Instead of brushing off their feelings, it encourages open communication and helps to reduce conflict. It's your fault you feel that way. Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone saying it's your fault you feel that way? It can come across as blaming you for your emotions and can be hurtful, especially if they're criticizing your valid feelings. This phrase is often used to control the conversation, downplay your emotions and discredit your experiences. It can leave you feeling guilty or defensive instead of heard and supported. And unfortunately, it can create a confrontational and hostile environment instead of stimulating positive communication. A more respectful way to acknowledge someone's emotions is to say, whatever you feel is normal, you don't choose it. This shows empathy, recognizing that emotions are just a normal part of being human and that you don't always have control over them. It can reduce feelings of guilt, shame, and defensiveness, creating a more positive and understanding environment for communication. By understanding that the other person's emotions are normal and not a result of their own actions, you can build a more supportive and understanding relationship. Overall, this alternative response is a kind and constructive way to acknowledge emotions and strengthen relationships. Did these tips help you out? We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section. If you think someone else could benefit from this video, give it a like and share it with them.