 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today I'm going to the place I deserve to be sent to prison. We're playing prison simulator. Honestly, take the word simulator and put anything in front of it and I will play it. Can someone make a simulator simulator? That would just that would be swell. Oof! Or a headphone slap-on simulator that would be good too. Although it would be kind of a niche but you can add microtransactions. I'd buy new oof noises you know? Oof! All right oofs aside, let's get started. New game. Did someone just hum at me? That was very soft. Oh I can make my own prisoner! I already loved the game. Okay great. Is this all the prisoners in the prison or are they all my prisoners? I don't understand. Their little intro is amazing. I like that. That's going to be my new intro. Hey there friends. Oh they're like a lovely choir. Imagine going to church and the choir starts belting this out. Oh that would get my old Catholic heart racing. All right stop, stop, hold on stop. I'm going to make you my prisoner. Oh my god don't take that out of context. That was bad. That was... I'm going to be sent to prison in real life if people take me out of context and quote me on that. He said he was going to take me as prisoner. Okay yeah I'll take that voice. How would you describe your voice? Race car. I'm going to be the most jacked prisoner in here. I guess I'll go with that. He looks the most default I can find. All right his name is actually going to be race car. Oh race car. He does care after all. Can I change his crime? I don't want him to be in here for robbery. I want him to be in here for like speeding or maybe drug use, taking speed, anything to do with race car. I'm going to rename good old treasure here to call me Kevin. I just want him to be off by himself doing his own thing and see what happens to him. That kind of looks like me. That'll do. Oh he's in here for murder. That's fitting. Yeah race car noises. All right I think I'm done. Oh there goes the choir again. I've confirmed them all. Oh there's gangs? The call me gang with the middle finger. That's awesome. Why is this one called the bears? They have a picture of a lion. I guess they are a lion about that one. It all makes sense now. The chads. This one will be called with cool dog and this one will be Hufflepuff. Okay randomize them all. We have a sorting hat you see. All right call me Kevin. I'll put it to Hufflepuff. I'm in the chads thankfully. Oh my god race car is very fast. How could he turn that fast? Oh my god. All right let's turn that way down and I also saw a head bob intensity. Put that way up. Oh my god. He's a fecking lunatic. All right he's taking me to the warden for some reason. Hello warden. Where are the papers? What does that mean? I don't understand. After the brawl that this bunch has prepared for us many would throw this job at all the devils. Sir I don't really understand what you're talking about. Wait am I a guard? I thought I was a prisoner. I want to be in prison. I don't want to be managing the prison. Maybe if I treat them badly enough they'll lock me up too. All right time to free the prisoners. Oh god his hands are itchy. He's itching for a fight. Oh it's race car. You were almost my favorite. Let me touch it. That was me searching him apparently. Get out or your face will never look the same. Race car I expected better from you. Hold on there's a fight. There's a fight. Hold on I'm still using my clicker. All right three, six, seven, eight. Just walk by him. I'm not getting involved. Can you come out please? He's not going anywhere. Can you cooperate? Yes you are. Beat it. Jesus Christ. What is this attack? Come on. Come out. Come out. You want to come out now? Good. Back to clicking. I love my job. Oh it's call me Kevin. Hey there friends. Oh seriously another person not coming out. Right let me count everyone else first. He's got business for me and he thinks I'll like it. Okay I'm taking 8% of his dealings. I'm a businessman. I'm gonna do accounting. As long as I don't confiscate his stuff. I just arranged that deal in front of two guards and many prisoners. All right come on dude come out. He doesn't feel too good. Hey what you doing? So boring. He's just continuing to be all god careful dude. Oh he's getting aggressive. Dude you're not even trying that you're missing. You know what I'll leave you to it. It's your cell not mine. Okay guys we're gonna do a trust exercise. I'm not gonna lock the cells on my way out. Everyone stay in your cell. Try to pepper spray him. I can't reach it. All right I'm gonna go pump some iron. Get my strength up from when I inevitably have another fight. This is strange. I'm like co-mingling with the prisoners here. I'm gonna work out with them. I love video games. Could be working out in real life but no I want my my prisoner to get strong. Not me. I gained 20 stamina. That's great. To celebrate I'm gonna start pepper spraying and just spinning in a circle. Whatever happens happens. Poor dude. I attempt to search some packages. What do we got? If there's any birthday money I'm taking it. Should I allow this in? It's just paracetamol but is that allowed in this prison? I don't know. Oh what is this? I found drugs in the risotto. Hey look my risotto. I found drugs in the risotto. That's worth 63 bucks. I'll take that for myself. Drugs added to inventory. What's this huh? Some red lines. Is that contraband? Are red lines contraband? All right the rest I'm I'm too lazy. Just put them all on the checked one. That's fine. There's probably just like a gun in one of them now. Oh target training. Can I just take the gun with me? My guy may have an itchy trigger finger. This is blinding. There's no need to reload. Oh my god it's too much. Accuracy 37% the new record. Oh yes free times over. Back to the prisoners. They're my real friends and look they all obeyed the trust test. All right I need people for the workshop. Who wants to come with me? Race car where are you? You're coming. In fact I'm just gonna take all the aggressive ones. He's aggressive. He hates call me Kevin. All right Kevin you're coming too. Anyone else here hate call me Kevin? No not you guys. Stop raising your hands. I mean the prisoner. This guy's offering me money. He's acting really weird. What do you want? He's asked me to turn a blind eye to the packages. I've been doing that anyway so yeah I may as well accept money. Okay no one else hates call me Kevin. This game is not realistic. I need one more. Who do you hate Kevin? Kevin Zuckerstien. Oh he hates Kevin Zuckerstien as well. Okay let's bring Kevin Zuckerstien. A lot of people seem to hate that Kevin actually. Come on Kevin. The two Kevin's. Oh my god what happened here? Oh my god. Jesus this is not a safe work environment. I don't know where we're going. Follow me. Come on run run. We'll get there faster if we run boys let's go. This is gonna put everyone on edge. All right we're at the workshop. Let's give all the aggressive prisoners free reign of dangerous tools. A file a screwdriver wrench hammer. All right who wants SWAT? He's getting feckin aggressive. Here take the hammer it's probably the most lethal one. I killed my crime partner with a wrench like this one. Memories. Okay fantastic guys get to work. Doing a bang up job there Ivan. You keep hammering that wood. I found a legal cigarettes and call me Kevin. I'll just take them. They're mine now. Sometimes prisoner may be badly injured due to fighting or knife wounds in that case you have to call for help. Who is injured? Is someone injured? Oh you did. Did you hurt yourself? Dude there's a guard in here. What happened to you? He hates calling me Kevin. We gotta save him. Okay. I think God took him away. Get to work Kevin. Get to work. Come on. Okay that may have been excessive. All right we're done in the workshop everyone. What does that even mean race car? How do you have more cigarettes on you? Oh here's some screws. You can keep those. He likes me. Race car really likes me. You've nails. Yeah you can keep those too. Oh no you don't. I'm going to report to you. I'm just standing in the way of the door at the tazer. I'll just pay him a bribe. He won't accept that. All right intimidate him. I didn't see anything. Hear anything. That's better. He should have just taken the bribe. All right boys we're going home. Come on. One less man than we left with. All right that's my day over with. All right let's call it a day then. I'm going to sleep. The riot risk is going up for some reason. I think I'm pissing everyone off. Are we got a new prisoner? Welcome to the team. He hates race car. You've not even met him. Why are you so aggressive? All right you've got to find out how things work around here. Oh is he dead? Oh no he's fine. Sounds like a chicken. All right let's take a look at your file. Sorry he got up again. This poor dude. All right except you're in chief. What is this? What? The boy with the unicorn tattoo. Sorry just pepper sprayed your eyes after seeing that you probably needed it. Oh jeez. No no no. Dude not allowed. Not allowed in here. What do you mean I can't leave the location? I'm being attacked. Oh Jesus Christ. He's freaking screaming at me like pengu or some shit. All right have we calmed down now? Yeah? I've proved that I'm the alpha here. Sorry for making fun of your book. I didn't realize you were so sensitive. All right enjoy the prison prisoner. See you later. He's gonna cause trouble. I hope he picks a file. Race car. Race car would smush him. Oh look at the big group of prisoners. Just a group pepper spray there. Oh we got someone who has a job for me. Yes I would like money. I want to see Joshua Thompson lying with a smashed face. 25 now and 25 when it's done. Yes. Joshua Thompson where are you? How am I supposed to find him? Let's call me Kevin Corey Thomas. Joshua Thompson. Okay great. There we go. Done. He's gonna walk with a smashed face for a week. Now let's play some b-ball you guys. No don't laugh at that or I will tase you. Ah feck I'm so bad at this. Hold on let me just how tall am I? See that guys? Hey race car looking nice and hot. Better extinguish yeah. Oh god no he doesn't like my flirting. He's cowering from the fire extinguisher. Tried to punch me and saying my ass is itchy all at the same time. I need a carrot to help please. Race car is trying to kill me. Okay now he's just making noises. Are we cool race car? Oh Jesus. Okay fine. Prison bully I got an achievement. Oh a fight is broken out. Oh my god is it race car? Why are you picking a fight with race car dude? Oh my god look at him go. They're like rock'n'sock'n robots. Oh my god he beat race car. He is the new Chad of the prison. Time for a shake down everyone. Wait did my guy just talk? Found drugs. They're mine now. What is my guy doing with these? Prisoners are willing to kill for at least half a gram. Oh my god I took it from race car. He's pissed off. I'm not intimidated by you. I even beat you up. Uh oh oh no he's getting up. What was that? He's trying to be quirky. That's for having cigarettes. That's for having cola which is legal but I took it anyway. Are you nachos? They're mine too. I'm gonna piss everyone off. No that is not whistling. You could say he's whistling but he's not whistling. Um I was using the fire extinguisher on him and now he's pissing himself. Please stop that. Oh now he's pissed fun laying off. Hit me once. Look look now the guards are pissed off with you. There we go perfect. All right that is enough damage for one day I think. I left this prison on the brink of rioting. Now I gotta get out before they actually find me at fault. I'm retiring. The tensions are so high. But I hope you enjoyed the video. I sure enjoy playing this little demo. These simulators are always just a blast to play because they're just so weird. But yeah I appreciate you watching my stuff. If you want to check out more of my stuff I post every single day. I also stream over on Twitch. I also have a second channel and I post some videos too. I am just everywhere. I'm like a fungus. You just can't get rid of me. But yeah thank you very much for watching. I hope you did enjoy and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.