 In this video, I'm going to talk about a huge mindset shift that I recently had, that completely changed the way I view so many things about my life and allowed me and will allow you, if you listen to the end, to become sort of a warrior that can actually go into situations that are scary or shameful and cause you fear with intention and gradually beat them and become stronger and more whole as a person. So how did I actually come about this subtle but highly potent mindset shift? It started when I had a conversation with a friend of mine and I talked to her about various things that I'm going through, kind of psychological and emotional investigations that I've started from about a year ago and I've dabbled with them. So you know we all have these secrets or things about ourselves that we're either ashamed of or afraid of or simply have a negative emotion, something that inhibits us, whether it's repulsion or just a feeling of being judged. We all have those and these could be related to anything from sexuality to meaning things that we fantasize about and we're too afraid to act out and up to things in business where we're afraid to ask for a certain price because we're afraid that we're not going to get it because people are going to judge us or maybe making those phone calls. It really extends to all areas of your life and these are all sort of traumas or things that we internalized at a very, very young age. So this friend who's sort of like a semi-psychologist basically broke down what was going on and she said that these fears and judgments and shames and all these things that hold us back from areas and many of them are almost unconscious. They're so deeply ingrained that you never even thought about challenging them. So I'd like you to think about things that scare you, things that you're ashamed about, things that you wanted to do or to do or to say but you never had the courage to do it or again you were too ashamed to do it. So I want you to have these in mind and listen to this. So when you were younger, like three years old up to 10 years old, you took upon yourselves various traumas and these traumas usually come from the way people behave to you and let's say you had a father who was very, very absent. So you internalized the fact that you cannot depend on men or on fathers and then you take that and you turn it into some weird extreme version of that and every time you talk to people you feel like they're going to abandon you and you can't trust them. So you have this feeling of fear, of inhibition that comes up. Maybe something specifically arouses you and that's how you deal with the situation or maybe you deal with it with fear. So there's a call you need to do. You need to call somebody and make a sales call and you're too afraid to do that call like if you feel fear. So the realization is that these feelings actually come up because of you. So instead of thinking, oh, it's the situation that's causing this. So, you know, it's out of my control. So I feel shame, you know, this thing is shameful. So I feel shame or this is scary. So I feel, you know, scared and it's bad and, you know, you try to run away from that feeling like I shouldn't feel scared. It's a bad thing. I shouldn't feel jealous. All these negative emotions. It's actually you who created them. And the reason you created them unconsciously was as a challenge, as sort of a step you can take. If you choose, if you adopt the right mentality where you can say, I'm going to overcome this challenge. Now, again, stay with me. This is really important. I'm going to overcome this challenge. So if something feels shameful, you actually think, okay, this is a trauma that was caused. I created this feeling of shame as a way for me to fight it because what do you do with shame? You abolish it. You fight it for freedom. What do you do with fear? Again, you fight fear. You don't resist it. You don't want to. You say, okay, this fear is an opportunity for me to become fearless. This shame is an opportunity for become shameless. So by creating these blocks, which you use to protect yourself mentally and emotionally from things that happened, you actually have the opportunity to embrace them, to embrace the fear and go into it and become fearless or to embrace the shame and go into it and become shameless. And then you become greater than the very regular people that you are jealous of. The people that are like, oh, I wish I was more like them, feeling less shame or not as fearful. Well, if you attack these emotions, if you actually go into them and embrace them, you actually transcend them and then you become better than those who don't have them in the first place because you mastered them. And then here's the cool part. Let's say that something is causing you fear. Like making cold calls to people, talking to strangers is causing you fear. Well, not everybody feels that, but because you feel it, you created that feeling of fear as an opportunity to become fearless. And then when you do it, when you actually make that call, you can keep using that tool of fear because now you have the next thing that scares you. So you can keep stacking these emotions of trauma, these protection mechanisms on top of each other and use them as your guidance to where you can develop as a person. So take the negative emotion and again, here's where it really gets cool. Take the negative emotion that you feel right now or like the most relevant one because they're not all relevant at the moment. There's only one or two major things that you feel right now that are negative that are really, really relevant. For example, right now, again, your fear of making cold calls is coming up or your fear of opening a business is coming up or your shame about something about your identity, your sexuality or maybe things you've said. Whatever comes up, this is your current challenge. And if you embrace it and instead of running away from the jealousy or the fear or the shame, you actually go into them and use them as opportunities to know where to go like indicators. This is where you start becoming dangerous because now you're in control again. You're controlling the wheel because you took the very thing that scared you or made you run away and you actually attack it by design, you know, by decision on your own initiative. And when you attack it, you slowly conquer it and it's a rush. So the person who fights the fear feels more alive than anyone else. The person who does that thing that's shameful, you know, that he's like, No, this is too shameful. People will judge me. The person that actually does it, he feels more alive than anyone. And then here's the cool part. This is what she told me and I want you to try it yourself. When you attack these emotions, when you go into them, you can actually choose now whether you want to keep embracing them or just drop them. So you can choose, do I want that fear to keep creating it? Because you mastered it already, so you have control over it now. Do I want to keep feeling the fear or do I want to let it go? And if you keep using it, now it's a tool for you to feel alive. If you let it go, you still keep the rewards you've gained, the character development you've gained, but you don't have that fear anymore. You've gone over it, you know. Basically, for me, for example, me being so shy and introverted and judging myself and ashamed about talking to people, that's what caused me to be an extrovert because I had to do something against it and I fought hard against that feeling of shame. So whenever I felt ashamed to talk to people, I used that as an opportunity to do it. And it happened in so many other areas of my life where I took the very thing that was scary or shameful and I got into it directly and it changed everything. So she summarized it by saying an amazing sentence. She said, if you choose to become a person who fights the shadow, who fights the darkness and the fears and the shame, and does that on a daily basis, who seeks those things out and willingly goes into them, you're going to change more than you ever thought you could and you're going to grow more than you've ever thought possible. And that really struck me, that idea of being the warrior, not just spending your life and living it with the regular goals or the routine. If there even are those, sometimes there are people without even having goals or routines, imagine how exciting your life would be. If every day you choose to tackle something that's deeply bubbling in you, something that scares you, something you're shamed about, it doesn't have to be something specific, it doesn't have to be like a plan, it doesn't have to be like a list, just ask yourself, have that awareness every day, every week. What's the main thing at the moment that makes me feel bad? Is it my fear of opening a business? Is it my shame about something, about my sexuality? Is it some sort of a fear of judgment that people will judge me? Take the thing that's most relevant and small-step it. So what that means is attack it or embrace it and attack it, but don't do it at once because you probably won't be able to. Do it in small steps so if you're afraid of calling people, cold calls, start by just saying hi to people, like just asking people for the time on the street or practice cold calling on your friends. Just tell them to pretend that they're someone else and just do that a hundred times and see how comfortable you feel and even take it a step further, which is something I actually did. It really helped. Have one of your friends be the rudest, most mean, awful person on the phone they could be and just practice on that, like, hey, hello, this is Robbie, can I talk to you for a moment? Then they just know who the fuck are you, who the fuck you are. Just get them to rile up on you and you'll get desensitized very, very fast. It's pretty damn effective. And again, it could be anything for every single thing that could be bothering you. Just break it down to small steps that you can manage and practically do and when you start going through them, what will happen is you'll see yourself expanding as a person, which is insane. It's insane to even think about it, meaning that whatever borders you had yesterday, whatever borders your character and who you are had, they just grew. Or to be more precise, the real you just got cleared up a bit. So it was you all along. So if you fear talking to people, it means that's your challenge. It means you're supposed to be someone who's talking to people because you're challenged by that very thing. So whatever you fear, whatever you ashamed about, whatever you feel you're going to be judged about, these are the very things that call you. These are the very things that you want to be. And if every day you just embrace these things and go into them and small step them, it's like being in the gym and working out and building muscle, but you're doing that to who you are. So when you meditate, it's like you build muscle, but you build muscle of relaxation. You learn how to be in the moment and that's a muscle. And when you work out, you build your actual physical muscles and you become stronger. When you do those things, you build the character muscle and you become more you or a stronger version of you and your repertoire of ability to respond and your communication skills and your spectrum of stuff you can think about and stuff you feel comfortable emotionally about, it just increases. So you actually become more as a person, you actually become less contained, more free, more expressive, more you, more flowing, automatic, genuine, not this thing that you created out of protection. So fuck yeah, this is a really exciting, really awesome topic. And thank you for watching. Please, please, please use what you learned. If something's not completely understood, let me know in the comments. I'd love to help you. Please subscribe if you haven't. And this was me, Robbie, checking out.