 Hi, I'm Rusty Komori and this is Beyond the Lines on Think Tech, Hawaii. I was the head coach of the Punahou Boys varsity tennis team for 22 years, and we were fortunate to win 22 consecutive state championships. My books Beyond the Lines and Beyond the Game are about leadership, character, and creating a superior culture of excellence. And the reason I wrote the books was to inspire greatness and excellence in every business, sports team, school, and family, potentially in the world. My special guest today is the author of Purpose, Passion, and Pajamas. And she's the founder of the pajama program, and she was featured on Oprah and many other TV shows. She is Genevieve Kotturo, and today we are going Beyond Pajamas. Hey Genevieve, welcome to the show. Thank you, Rusty. I feel like I'm in Hawaii. Yeah, you know, well you've been to Hawaii many times. I mean, you've been to Kauai 10 times around. Is that correct? Yeah, that's correct. Well, I know that when you come to Honolulu next, you need to contact me. And Genevieve, I know that you entered the corporate world in your career, but can you tell me a bit about your background growing up, and then how you got into the corporate financial world? Of course. Well, I was born first in a four in a very traditional Italian family. My father came off the boat as a 15-year-old with his father, because his father wanted him to have a life in America and have a family in America. And I was raised to really go to school, go to college, but get married and have children. That's how I always felt. And my desire was to climb that corporate ladder, and I don't know why. It was just, I wanted to be a successful woman single and working to make it to the top. And to me, that was success and status. And that's what I did. It was very hard for my family to understand, but I wanted that so badly. And that obsession, first obsession of my life, really, really put me on that track. And I did for about 12 years. I worked in New York City, single, climbing that ladder of television marketing. And I loved it. And it really was a great life. I can't say it wasn't. It was just really busy. And I was that workaholic, that female workaholic. So until that one day that things changed, that was me. Well, I heard that you were very successful in the financial corporate world. And then, yeah, can you tell me about how you started that pajama program? Sure, sure. Well, one day, one quiet day, which was rare in my apartment, amidst this workaholic lifestyle, I heard a voice. And it came from here. It didn't come from here, which I knew because that chatter is constant, right? But it came from somewhere here. And it asked me a question. It was me asking me this question. If this is the next 30 years of your life, is this enough? And it really shocked me. I heard it. And I knew instantly the answer. And the answer was no, I realized, if I don't take stock, I'm going to be all alone, not in 30 years, probably in a few years, because it just came together. And I thought, this must have been a question I've been asking myself and not listening to. Because that was the moment I really stopped to think about the rest of my life. And I was in my mid 30s. And I realized there must have been something to that traditional upbringing, to that family, and that having children that my parents really wanted for me and all four of us kids that I missed. And I realized I needed a way to bring children into my life. And I started calling shelters, because I remembered in that moment in that afternoon, a news story I'd seen about children being harmed by those who were supposed to care for them. And the police taken them to emergency shelters. So I called the police and I asked them, under these circumstances, where do you take these children? And they told me about the city's emergency shelters. And I called and I asked if I could come and read to the children at night if I worked. And that was the beginning of a new feeling I had for life and for what I wanted to do. So that was what started that chain of events. So, Genevieve, you actually started reading children's books to the kids. And then how did the pajamas come about? Well, yes, I started bringing children's books. And I was so excited during the week. And I could feel my desire for this job that I worked so hard for waning because I couldn't wait to meet some of these children. And the first few times I brought bags of books in these bags that I dragged with me. And I went into the shelters and they had me come and sit on the floor. And I was wearing a suit. And they brought the children they had sat on the floor with me and made a little circle. And I started to read the stories to them. And they were so quiet. I mean, you can probably imagine the state of some of these children in an emergency shelter, the police, the social workers brought them in 24-7, looking for some temporary safety until they could find a place these children could live for a little while. So they were so quiet. And I could tell a little bit about what they'd been through by the clothing they were wearing, was the soiled and tight and the fear on their faces. And some of them were crying. And they were so quiet. I just read story after story. What happened was one night, a few weeks in, I said, let me see where they're taking them when I leave. I'm curious where they're going to sleep. And I followed the staff and the children and I peered in and it broke my heart to see them helping these children onto these futons and couches and cots. Sometimes more than one, two, three on a surface. Some of them were crying and the staff were lovely. But when I saw in my mind were the memories of my mom sitting at our bed sides, you know, telling us stories and giving us snacks and kissing us good night and, you know, laughter. And of course, pajamas. And I saw no pajamas. And for some reason, that's what came out of my mouth to the staff when they were showing me the door. Can I bring some pajamas for the children next week? And they said, oh, that's a sweet idea. Sure. So all week, I thought of nothing else. But all the pajamas I could get, so no child was left without a pair of pajamas that would fit because the children were always different. So I went shopping as much as I can all week. And I brought dozens and dozens of pajamas. And that night after I read stories, I started giving them out. One little girl halfway through the line came up to about my hip. I would say she used six. She had lopsided ponytails, soiled shirt, pants were too short, sneakers were huge. And she was just frightened and she wouldn't take the pajamas from me. The other children were taking them and going into the other room, but she wouldn't take them. She kept shaking her head. No, no, no, no. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I didn't know what was happening. So she wanted to watch me. So they let her stand next to a staff person and watch me give them to the rest of the children. And when I had done that and they had all gone to that room to sleep, I went back over to her and I knelt down and I tried one more time and I said, honey, these are so soft. You're going to love your pajamas. You're going to sleep so well and they're going to fit you and they're pink and your shirts purple. And you're going to, I know you're going to feel so comfortable in them. And she looked at me and she whispered in my ear, what are pajamas? And I couldn't believe this little girl asked me, what are these? What are pajamas? And I found myself explaining what pajamas were. And it took everything I had to stay composed because I just felt heartbroken, like a sucker punched, that this little girl was, was so afraid to take the pajamas. She didn't even know what they were and all she knew was moment to moment. And that obsession was my second obsession. Climbing the corporate ladder was nothing compared to the obsession I felt moving forward. How many children there were like her. Wow, that's amazing how that all started for you. And Genevieve, I love that it's pajamas and kids books. And I know that you started the pajama program in 2001. What has been the impact of your program to this date? Well, thanks to so many people around the US. And it's been 7 million new pajamas and books that we've provided to children in need and at risk in places like the shelters and places that are unstable or they're not able to give these children pajamas and books. And we have 63 chapters around the US. So it's been an incredible effort by tens of thousands of strangers who felt like I did this. Got to be something simple. We can do this. We can do this together. And it's thanks to so many people. Well, that's phenomenal what you created there, Genevieve. And I want to ask you of all, you know, when you're meeting a lot of these kids, what are the mindset? What's their mindset like? Because their mindset might be different than their parents in terms of dealing with adversity or challenges. Whereas, you know, these kids, they probably haven't had much. So, you know, when they get something, it's not like they had everything and things got taken away, right? Right, right. Well, as you can imagine, there are so many cases. The beginning of my journey with the shelters, they were mostly afraid because it was a new experience for them. Even though they were in harm's way and no one would ever want them to stay where they were, they were still afraid because everything was foreign and they didn't know what was going to happen next. And a lot of that continues for these children. What's going to happen next? Where am I going to go? Am I going to be safe? And for those emergency that's called them situations, it's, to me, the most difficult for those of us watching because we can feel almost their hearts and their fear. And one of the gentlemen that runs one of these group homes asked me if I knew what the one emotion was that these children in that state felt. And I said fear, anger, loneliness, and he said heartbreak. Because time after time, they are hoping that someone's going to be nice to them or take care of them. And time after time, it hasn't been the case. And to me, that is the worst, the worst feeling for a child, that heartbreak. As the children get older, if they understand the situation, that's another, another difficult time because they know that it's not right and they don't understand why they're in this situation. And then they become teenagers and it's difficult for them to get back on track with other kids who are in schools and who have families. And that's also a heartbreak. And the fact that they are aware of the difference between their lives and others, to me, is tragic. And then the children who've been in group homes and who are little and people are doting on them for the time being, you know, they're their child, they're resilient. And so there are so many, so many different ages and so many different feelings that I've experienced and I haven't experienced them all, but it's just a different heartbreak every age group. Well, Genevieve, I always say that empathy is huge. Kindness is contagious and helping others leads to fulfillment. And I admire you. And I know that Oprah admires you as well because you were featured on Oprah. And I want to ask you, Genevieve, how did you get on Oprah? Well, that was a game changer and, you know, there's nothing like it. I was sitting in our reading center, there's a picture, in New York and I got a phone call and the woman said, hi, I'm so-and-so producer with the Oprah Winfrey show. Do you have a minute? And it was the most surreal. I mean, I'm telling you as if it were then. And half of my brain is trying to calm down and answer the questions. And the other half of my brain is screaming to me, this is Oprah's producer. Oh my goodness, you better be smart. You better answer the questions. And they're fighting. And through the entire two weeks leading up to lying there, that was the case in my brain. And even on the show, my brain was split like that. And they told me that people were writing in about a woman giving pajamas to these children in some of the shelters in New York and South. Well, Genevieve, that must have been such a gratifying experience for you. And can you share what the live audience did during that show? Yes. And you can see it if you go to YouTube or my website. Unbeknownst to me, they well, they prepared me with all these questions Oprah's going to ask. And I'll tell you a funny story if I can, if I can bear a minute of your time. So they prepared me, you know, up to the day I was living on the plane, which happened to be a storm. And of course, a snowstorm, it was a late March, and it was nerve rocking because the plane was delayed, delayed, but we did get there. And the producer said to me before I got on the plane, don't worry, the plane is going to take off, you'll get here. And when you get here, call me and I'll tell you exactly what to expect in the morning when you get to the studio. So that's what happened. I called her as soon as we arrived at 1am. I said, I arrived, I'm here, I'm at the hotel, okay, what should I expect in the morning? So she said, okay, we're going to bring you in, all this, you're going to be sitting in the first row of the audience and Oprah is going to be sitting on the stage on a stool with an empty stool next to her. And she's going to introduce you that way. And you're going to come up onto the stage and hop onto the stool next to Oprah's stool. Rusty, I don't remember anything after that. How in the world do you think a woman in heels with that split brain activity going on and really thinking she's going to walk up and jump onto a stool next to Oprah on live TV? I just, I couldn't picture it. All I could picture was falling on the floor and having trouble hopping onto a stool. And I was thinking, where's the couch? She has a couch. Can I just look? It was the most nerve-wracking night I've spent. But I didn't fall down. I managed somehow to sit on the chair. And all the questions that they prepared me for went out the window because halfway through Oprah announced she had a surprise. And without my knowing, she and the producers called all the studio audience members and told them about my work and the children and said, I want you all to see how many pajamas you can bring to the studio. And you could only bring one. You can only buy one personally. You have to be creative and find a way to bring more somehow. And even Oprah didn't know how many they got. But she said nobody slept the night before. They were counting and coming, all the pajamas were coming in. And so she reveals the number on the show and anybody can watch it. It's an incredible number. And she is shocked. And I am shocked. And she opens this gold envelope. And the whole show takes on another aspect. It's an amazing number of the pajamas. And the visuals are incredible. Well, Genevieve, I watched that episode because you were crying when that happened. And I started to cry watching what was happening. It was so touching. And yeah, I want our audience to go and watch that so that they can see what that number was. It is just mind blowing what they did and how the audience members were so creative and how other people in businesses really stepped up. And Genevieve, I'm so happy that you wrote your book, Purpose, Passion, and Pajamas. And I really enjoyed it. It's very inspirational. And you and I both know how hard it is to be an author to write a book. And what is so meaningful for you now when you're meeting people who have read your book? Well, I'm so touched that it's resonating with people, especially since this pandemic that we've all been through together, how it's affected us. And it seems we've all been just going inward and reexamining our lives. So when people are resonating with my very difficult decision to leave my job, I mean, I jumped off. And I teach when I coach, I teach you can slide your purpose into your life or you can jump right into your purpose. I jumped. I was ill prepared. But I had that obsession and there wasn't any way around it. And it was difficult. But I'm very honest in my book. And at the end of every chapter, it's chronological. At the end of every chapter, I talk about the heart of the matter lessons in that chapter, life lessons, leadership lessons, find your purpose lessons. And I'm just so grateful that they are resonating with people who are now looking to make a change to bring purpose because they know what they're meant to do. No, I absolutely love it. I want everybody to go out and get your book. And Genevieve, in my books, it's very similar because I talk about pursuing your passion and finding your purpose. And that's what you're all about. And what I'm finding when I'm doing some of my leadership coaching is some people have been complacent for so long. And then now because of COVID, they're kind of having a reset where they're looking at their life and really thinking, hey, I want to really pursue this. I haven't done this for whatever reason. Maybe now's the time to go out and do it. What are your thoughts? Yes, I think everyone should use your five seconds. Make a decision, five seconds, do it, and stick to it. I do think this has been a very trying time. I do think that many people, it's in the headlines, are leaving their jobs because they don't basically, they don't like them. They don't feel appreciated. They don't feel valued. It's not filling them. And we went from just expecting to have meaning in our personal life to really demanding it, nine to five, two. We want a full life where we feel like we're making a difference where we're respected and trusted and part of the big picture and part of the culture, not just a worker being. And I think this is a good time for humanity because it's something that we can share. Because people are talking about it everywhere and everybody seems to be on the same page. It's not okay anymore to be just a number, to just be working for the bottom line. We expect our leaders to share their purpose, to share the culture that we're looking for, to be there for us as a team. And I think that that's bringing us together, at least I hope and pray it is. Well, I like how you mentioned about the five seconds because that's really what it takes. I mean, when you have that right mindset and that thought about doing something, you just got to go out there and do it. And I like that you like that. And Genevieve, in terms of some people look at COVID and obviously as bad as COVID is and a lot of people have setbacks, the correct attitude and mindset is to look at as setbacks or opportunities for comebacks. And it takes courage obviously to do something different. You have to take calculated risks like you did, like I did. What are your thoughts about courage and risk? I agree. But I'm not saying it's easy. And COVID set me back. I was planning to speak in person, like I had done as the whole 20 years with the drama program and launching my book in a pandemic. I mean, it was very frightening. And I had Zoom and everything stopped for so many of us, most of us and pivot is the word. But I mustered the courage to try a Zoom master class. And I really didn't know how it would work out. But I learned a long time ago, you can feel the fear and do it anyway. And sometimes you just have to do it afraid. And I'm thankful that I took a chance. And I hope everybody does because we all are afraid. And we all have to do things that are scary the first time. And I think it ends up doing 15 master classes from the pandemic. And I'm really glad I did it. Because I almost didn't. I almost let it stop me. But I always count to five. I always make quick decisions. And I just did it. And I just said a prayer. No, and risk, it's giving up something good for something better. And I think one of the worst things is to have regret how some people think that, oh, I wish I would have done this. Or I wish I would have tried this. Well, you should go out there and try it. So at least you know that if you did it, whether you succeed or fail. And when you're doing your coachings with individuals, Genevieve, what are some things that you focus on with them? Definitely the risk. For what I did, I jumped into my purpose. It was it was an obsession. It found me. It was that aha moment. All those reasons made me jump. And I think now it's so important for everyone who has put their purpose. And most of us know what our purpose is. We just don't think we deserve it. Or we don't. I used to think it was Einstein and Oprah and Deepak Chopra and Leonardo da Vinci that have these purposes that change the world. But we all have the purpose. We all do. And I teach my clients how to find it if they're not sure. But if you know what it is and you're afraid that you can't make a career out of it, or you don't know what to do, or you're too far into another career, or it sounds like a dream that you could never, you could never attain, there's a way to slide it into your life. If you if you find that purpose and you haven't done anything about it, bring it up from the back burner, spend one hour a week immersed in it, whether it's online, reading about it, talking to someone just connect with somebody online. If you're still not in groups, go if you can somewhere where you can experience it one hour a week. Just give that gift to yourself. It's an amazing game changer. It will change how you feel about yourself will change possibilities that could open up. It will change those you are with. It'll feel that it'll be contagious, that joy that you have even if you think it's only you feeling it. No, it you're you're emitting that that gift that you gave yourself as joy and as self love and as self expression. That is so important for all of us to do that gift we have to give ourselves. Yeah, it's all that positive energy that that emulates from you too. And and Genevieve, you know, I completely agree with you and and I like to really have my clients think about controlling everything that they have control of and and you know, necessary pressure is fine, but not unnecessary pressure and necessary stress is fine, but not unnecessary stress. Right. What do you what do you find about that? Yes, I agree 100 percent because jumping into your purpose isn't for everyone. You know, I was not prepared but I did it anyway because I have been smarter. Yes, I write about it in my book. And that's why I think the slide method works for a lot of people, especially now because for some it is on certain times still. And I think without causing you and your family that unnecessary stress, bringing that purpose into your life for an hour or if you can manage to a week as a start will really is really the best way for a lot of people to feel that they are honoring their purpose. So Genevieve, what's a valuable lesson you learned in life so far? Well, one thing I learned is at the beginning, before I started a pajama program, even I thought the power of one is amazing. One person can can do so much, just one person, one idea. And even when I started with pajama program, people would say, look, the power of one, you're one person, you're changing so much. And I have learned through all these years that it is not the power of one that changes things. It's the power of one another that moves mountains and moves people. And that's the most valuable lesson I will take forever in my life. I love that Genevieve. And before we wrap, I want to ask you one more question. How do you define greatness? Well, greatness is serving, serving others. But I think beyond just serving is serving by living and honoring your purpose, because we're all meant to do that. We're all meant to share our purpose. And by sharing our purpose, it's that compassion, that vulnerability, that humanness that we're embracing with each other. And I think now more than ever, we need to share our stories, our purpose, our feelings, the good and the bad. And I think when we do that as a community, that's greatness for all of us. I completely agree with you, Genevieve. And I want to thank you for taking time to join me on the show today. I mean, the inspiration that you're having on countless people, the impact that you're having with countless people in the United States is amazing. I completely admire you. Well, it takes tens of thousands. It was just, you know, I was just carrying the first bag. Thank you, Genevieve. And thank you for watching Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. For more information, please visit RustyKomori.com and our books are available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I hope that Genevieve and I will inspire you to create your own superior culture of excellence and to find your greatness and help others find theirs. Aloha.