 Everyone here is aspiring to improve themselves so you're all facing a challenge Now if you hear that somebody's facing a challenge, you can find out what the challenge is very quickly. What's your goal with all this? What's the big picture here? What's the big plan with all this? What that does is that tells you their immediate challenge now if you can remove that challenge for them You'll make a new friend instantly So if I speak to somebody and they say well, do you know what my big challenge is? I want to travel all around the world and I want to be footloose and fancy free And I say oh great Why is that and I said well I used to do a 9 to 5 job I never really enjoyed it and you know and this will give me that freedom I want Okay, so what's the big challenge in the way right now? Well, the big challenge is You know finding somewhere to stay Now if I can if I know somebody in a destination they want to go to so if they they're going to Sydney For example, and I know somebody in Sydney. I'll hook them up I'll connect them and so I find I can network with people very quickly by just asking What's the big challenge here because if you can remove someone's pain, you're making instant friend immediately We talked about how compliance is really the sure sign that Persuasion is going on in other words could you pass me that drink someone does you've persuaded them to pass you the drink because they've complied with you a very effective way to boost your your skills is a Friend of mine when he's in situations where he's like here go to a cinema here never ever Comply with requests. He's hacking conversation without even realizing it so he'll walk up and he'll he'll say can I kind of a popcorn please and You know the person on the the desk will say I'm sure do you want an apple or orange combo with that? Now what were the two options apple or orange? So what do 99% of the population say? Apple or orange so here say I don't know and It froze the person or he'll say, you know, do you want apple orange? Why? And so the person's after they're going Well because the orange one is really nice. I know and he'll just get the minute is now He just does it because he has fun just seeing what he can do in conversation what he can just pick apart How he can tear conversations down a really good way to practice this yourselves and just to get into that Mindset of picking apart conversations To play the questions game Now how the questions game works is very simple you answer any question with a question So for example If I say You know, are you having fun? Are you having fun? Oh Hang on. Okay, so some people said yes, you will lost the questions game and one person in the back said are you having fun? How would you feel if I was? Okay, so you lost the questions game Okay, so basically if you answer somebody's question, you're complying with them on a very small small scale I might say So it's we're we're brought up just to go along with it just to just yep Okay, I'll have Apple have orange because Eddie options given to us step outside that How can we change the how can we change the perspective here? What how can we challenge what's going on? So really good thing to do after this talk is to get into pairs and try the questions game out amongst yourself and a partner Ask each other questions and answer the questions if anyone wants to give me a go I'm pretty good at it, but I'm looking for someone to knock me off my post I've already had some volunteers here in the audience if you're watching this at home Try it out with a friend. Don't talk at the computer screen. I was it be weird So I Always you know the French have this saying I think it's the wit of the staircase You know what it's like. There's somebody in a bar Says to you look I'm surprised you're not falling down on the floor like a drunkard You know and you come back with that beautiful retort. How was your last family reunion? And you know and it's oh so witty, but usually I don't know about you But I never have that fast wit. I'm not fast enough to get that. I'm not a stand-up comedian The next best thing we can do is Use a hack on them. I Made a mind has a great one whenever Whenever You know I'd accomplish anything in life like I beat my record for lifting the most amount of bench presses ever I think it was a hundred K that I'd ever done and you know, I'm feeble But um, I came off and I beat my personal record and I got up and I was so happy and I said look, I've just beat my record and you look to me went how'd you feel about that? And I was like, oh well, I feel good Yeah, and I started to justify my behaviors to him now I was complying with him and I thought that line. How do you feel about that? That's great. You can fire that back at any retort somebody gives you like you sir a complete wreck of a man How'd you feel about that? Well, I feel quite upset really and then they start justifying themselves