 وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال وأقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوّاله الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كما نبدأ نسأل الله عزا وجل ونبدأ نسأل الله to exhort the mentioned grand peace to our messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions نحن نصل to the topic of the marriage contract itself the actual, the act, the agreement, the terms and the conditions if you like and like they tell you about any contract you should always read the small print you should always read the terms and conditions so in this episode insha'Allah we're just going to give you an overview of the act what are these you know these two people who came together as a husband and wife on what basis did they come together what's the small print what are the terms and conditions in the contract that's what we're going to cover in this episode so we're going to start by describing the fact that marriage is an act it is an agreement and it's a contract and that's why it's called the contract of marriage and the word نكاح because we covered the word زواج earlier the word نكاح in the language is used for two things it's used for a contract of marriage and it's also used for marital intimacy intimate relations between husband and wife both of these are called like in the hadith of in which the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said اسنع كل شيء إلا النكاح when he talked about a woman who is on her menses and how her husband should interact with her he said do everything with her except نكاح I accept intimacy or an act of intimacy I intimate relations between husband and wife so النكاح it either means intimate relations or it means the actual marriage itself and we already mentioned a brief definition there are many definitions of scholars give but just one definition they said حل استمتاع كل من العقل ديني بالآخر على الواجه المشهور that it is a contract which allows the permissibility of intimacy between the two parties I the husband and the wife with each other in the way that Islam has permitted so it's a contract and a contract comes under المعاملات in Islam right it comes under the topic of معاملات it comes under the topic of the interactions and agreements that we make with people so it has terms and it has conditions الله سبحانه وتعالى called it an act in صورة البقرة I number 237 الله عز وجل he said فنصف ما فردتم إلا أن يعفونا أو يعفو اللذي بيده عقدة النكاح وأنتعفوا أقربوا للتقوى ولا تنسوا الفضل بينكم إن الله بما تعمل ونا بصير الله عز وجل said and if you divorce them before you have touched them before you have been intimate with them or before you have been alone as some of the scholars said alone privately in a situation of intimacy with them and you had declared for them their فريضة their مهر then give them half of what you had declared unless they forgive it they let it go they pardon it and let it go or the one whose hand the عقدة النكاح the act of the نكاح the نكاح contract is in and for you too for the men to let it go and give them the whole amount is closer to تقوى and don't forget the grace that is between you and Allah is all seeing of what you do but here I just wanted to clarify that Allah سبحانه وتعالى he called it and some of the scholars of تفسير when they came to the word اقدة النكاح they said it means it means the contract of marriage and that the contract of marriage is in the hands of the man and that means that the man is the one who has to we're going to talk about the conditions of the contract that has to enter into it and the man has the ability to be uh unilaterally if that's the right word on his own to exit that contract as for the woman we talk about نشوز طلاق خلاع and things like that she has the ability to exit that contract but it's not unilateral in other words she can't do it by herself with the support of anybody else she needs an Imam or a judge قاعدي someone in that position to do that for her instead or at least to support her in doing that the husband نيسحن اقتة النكاح the act of النكاح the contract of the نكاح so Allah عز وجل called it an act but that's not the only thing that Allah سبحانه وتعالى uh called this in the Quran الله سبحانه وتعالى سرط النساء number 21 he said وكيف تأخذونه وقد أفضل بعضكم إلى بعض وأخذنا منكم ميثاقا غاليضا how can you take it back from them when you have been intimate with one another and you have taken or they have taken from you ميثاقا غاليضا a weighty covenant a weighty covenant so Allah called it اقتة النكاح and Allah called it اميثاق a covenant so a covenant seems like I've got some some serious things I've agreed to a weighty promise I promise you know like you know when the Christians get married and they have that whole thing like that they say to have and to hold and to cherish and all that stuff until death was part and whatever like it's a covenant it's like that right it's like you've made a promise that is more than a promise it's more than a contract it's a covenant you've taken something on board as an amana as a responsibility and you've pledged a pledge اميثاقا that you are going to stick to that responsibility so what is this pledge that you had agreed to what is this covenant what is this thing that you said that you are going to stick to no matter what ابن جرير he mentioned a number of different opinions ابن جرير الطبري رحم الله تعالى the great scholar of Tafsir the Imam of the scholars of Tafsir ابن جرير الطبري one of the opinions he mentioned امساكم بمعروف او تسريهم بحسان that the pledge the Muslim makes it's all to have and to hold it to his part and all that stuff that's not what the Muslim pledges that's not the mithaq of the Muslim the mithaq of the Muslim is امساكم بمعروف او تسريهم بحسان either I will keep that lady in the best possible way or I will let her go in a beautiful and excellent way meaning if she stays with me I will treat her with معروف in a good way and معروف can also be in the way that is she would expect from me that people would expect from me that can also be معروف can have two meanings it can be good تأمرونا بالمعروف you command that which is good and it can also be العرف that which is customary and that which is expected so I will when I keep her with me I'm going to keep her in a way that is good and if I ever let her go I'm going to let her go with إحسان in an even better way than she would expect from me because sometimes marriage is break apart happens sometimes marriage is break apart and divorce is not something in Islam that is in an absolute sense rather at the end of the day sometimes marriage is break apart but the husband he pledges his معروف is when I keep you I'm going to keep you in the best way and if I let you go I'm going to let you go with إحسان in the kindest most excellent way that exceeds the expectations some of them said ميثاق is the act itself some of them said إبن جرير mentioned الأقد the نكاح itself that he makes the ميثاق is the act of the نكاح where he says I accept and he takes her as a wife that's the ميثاق and some of them mentioned that it is أخلت مهنة بأمان الله واستحللتهم فروجهنة بكلمة الله we had mentioned this حريث that the prophet صلاحيسام had mentioned in the in the خطبة one of the خطب one of the خطب that he gave that he gave in the فايرول حج that he says you have taken those women as a responsibility from Allah as an أمان in the sight of Allah and their private parts have become حلال for you by the words of Allah by the commands of Allah the words of Allah that were revealed in the Quran the statement of Allah the speech of Allah in the Quran and what the prophet some conveyed from Allah in the Sunnah that has made marriage permissible between the husband and the wife and made intimacy permissible between the husband and the wife you've taken them with the أمان they said the ميثاق is that the husband says I take you as an أمان in the sight of Allah that's a very weighty ميثاق غليضة it's a heavy oath just for the husband to say that I have taken you as a wife as an أمان from Allah I've taken you as an أمان from Allah that's one of the opinions that إبن جرير he mentioned and in the end of the day there is no reason why all of these opinions cannot be taken so the husband it's not you know we don't have any of this to have and to hold and to love and to whatever cherish until death to us part and whatever else the Christians say Our ميثاق our covenant is that we if we keep our wife as a wife we're going to keep her بالمعروف in the best possible way and if we let her go we're going to let her go in the best possible way we agree to the conditions of the نكاح and the rights that are implied by it and we have taken her as an أمان in the sight of Allah that's what it means when we say ميثاق غاليضة a weighty covenant in the sight of Allah because not an أمان from you know أحمد و محمد it's not even an أمان from her father it's an أمان from Allah and that's enough to make any man any man scared as for this keeping her in a good way this is found in سورة البقرة in ayah number 229 أطلاق مراتان فأمساكم بمعروف أو تسريح بإحسان الله عز و جل said divorce is two times this is within the ayah in سورة البقرة talk about divorce either you keep her in a good way بالمعروف in the best way and in a way you know according to the عروف according to the custom and expectations or you let her go in the best of ways with إحسان with the kindest of ways you let her go so that's just the reference for the statement that was mentioned by رحم الله تعالى from a number of the self with regard to what the meaning is غاليضا غاليضا also in سورة النساء الله عز و جل he said وعاشروهن بالمعروف فإن كريه توموهن فعسان تكره شيء ويجعل الله فيه خيرا كثيرا الله عز و جل said the end of the ayah وعاشروهن بالمعروف live with your wives بالمعروف and again بالمعروف it can mean with good live with them in a good way or it can mean live with them in accordance to what the expectations are and the norms are and some of the scholars said this is the most generic and general and comprehensive description of how a man has to be in the marriage contract in the marriage with his wife وعاشروهن بالمعروف everything that is said about how a husband behaves towards his wife can be summarized by the statement of Allah وعاشروهن بالمعروف live together with them in the best way live with them in the best way that's what the husband has to do that's what he's doing when he that's what he's taking on board that's his amana that he's taking on board in the sight of Allah and that's all of the rights of the wife can be summarized وعاشروهن بالمعروف live with them in the best way and in a way that is again we said according to what the customs the norms and the expectations are and if you dislike them then perhaps you dislike something and Allah puts in a great deal of good and how many times is that true that a person dislikes something and thinks it's not good for them but Allah puts in a great deal of good and we mentioned a حديث earlier on regarding one of the female companions and she was she had asked the prophet and he said إنك حي وصامة بن زيد ماري وصامة بن زيد رضي الله عنهم may Allah be pleased with them all and she said I didn't I didn't like it I didn't I wasn't happy with it and then the prophet told her to obey and she married him and she said الله put in it خيرا الله put in it so much good for me so in terms of this contract how does this contract work well this contract has pillars it has أرقان and أرقان are the things which have them the contract doesn't exist at all it's completely false from its you know from the from the bottom from the base of it the foundation of it is false it has to have three essential things for this contract to be the first is وجود as زوجين بلا موانه that and I'm just making this summarize instead of bringing you the whole definition just summarize it that you have the two سبوص without any Islamic reason why they can't get married what would be an Islamic reason why they can't get married كفر for example disbelief that one of them was a disbeliever الله unless the exception of marrying the كتابية the woman from أهل كتاب and that is something that we're not going to dwell on too much here I would just simply say that I would not advise it this time unless it is a necessity for a person because the situation is that there's a lot of issues over children there's a lot of issues over divorce there's a lot of issues over so many things with marrying the كتابية and it's better for a man to marry a Muslim woman rather than look into the كتابية but it could be necessary for some people like the reaver who accepted Islam and his wife is still Christian he can stay married to her for example that might be something to think about but generally كفر is one of the موانه that the husband is not a Muslim or the wife is not a Muslim as I said with exception of أهل كتاب for the Muslim husband who marries a كتابية a wife who is a Jew or a Christian for example نسب could be a man like there could be some relation between them that makes them that means that they can't get married like the close family members that can't marry and things like that محرمية could be one another so they can't marry that's not only down to blood ties it could be other reasons and also ties of breastfeeding as well because breastfeeding establishes the same ties that the blood ties that are established by blood so therefore it could be that the that those are all different reasons why the couple can't get married and if those reasons are uncovered later on the marriage is instantly invalid so someone comes and says I didn't realize I married a woman and I didn't realize that her and I or that that she and I had been fed a breastfed by the same woman we didn't know that instantly the marriage is invalidated and likewise كفر and and he says how could a woman not know that her husband was not a Muslim but it can happen and I've seen personally seen cases like this where the woman married and the husband said yeah I'm a Muslim and maybe the well he didn't really check it out as much as he should have done and he said yeah I'm going to convert and whatever and when you speak to him he says no I don't have anything to do with Islam I just said that to become Muslim or I just said that for the sake of you know converting so here you talk to him you give him a chance to understand Islam you tell him but if he continues to say I'm not a Muslim and I just said it for the sake of getting married then this marriage is not valid so you've got to have true spouses that are compatible with each other you have to have الإجاب and القبول you have to have إجاب which is the offering and the offering is made by the welly of the bride and we say the welly usually the welly is the father in almost all situations but there are some situations if her father is not a Muslim or perhaps he passed away where there might be another welly so the welly of the bride the guardian of the bride offers her in marriage to her her future husband he says for example I offer you so my daughter so and so in marriage I offer you my daughter so and so in marriage and the third pillar is that the husband says the husband to be the groom he says I accept he says I accept or I accept your offer and so on or words to that effect so those are the three sort of pillars that it's based upon as for conditions that things that have to be in place it has to be clear who the two spouses are you know it can't be anything like I married you to my daughter and he's got four daughters that are unmarried so we don't know which of the four he's married to and so upon some cultures this happens I personally never come across anything like this but I've seen cultures where it is the case that a man thinks he's marrying one daughter and on the wedding day he found out that he married another daughter the other daughter so there's no there's no there's no the husband the spouses are not known or I married you to you know Abu Fulan what is Abu Fulan Abu Fulan who is he you know which one where you know like so or or whatever it is you know like so the husband the wife they're not under it's not clear who the two of them are like I offer you and there's like four people standing there and he says I offer you you know what it has to be clear who is the husband who is the wife whatever way you make them clear you know they mention their full name or either you know there's only two of them there and it's a point to one and the other but it's got to be clear who the two spouses are another condition is really the two spouses must be content to marry there's no such thing as forced marriages in Islam we don't have forced marriages in Islam we haven't had forced marriages the Prophet SAW annulled them from the beginning and that's a big misconception about Islam and in Bukhari a Muslim from the حديث of أبي هوريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا تنكحوا أي محتى تستأمر ولا تنكحوا البيكر حتى تستأذن قال يا رسول الله وكيف إذنوها قال أنتسكت أبي هوريرة رأيت it from the but أو أن고 تست ο guitars قد يتمiani قد وانتحل أجل أجل90ения بنا فتح دون ليش وقت وراء they said식 من أنه لا يرد يعرف vielleicht بالنسبة أنكم she doesn't say no the father comes and says that i've decided or that we've agreed finally with the husband and whatever the groom that this is going to be the marriage are you content with that you're happy to go ahead either she says yes or either she remains silent but she doesn't say no or she doesn't say that i'm not happy i don't want to marry that person and we have an example of this and it is narrated in uh ابن ماجه سنة ابن ماجه عن بريده ابن الحصيب رضي الله عن قال جاء اتفاته ان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت ان ابي زوجنا ابن اخي ليرفع بخسيسة she said و بريده he said رضي الله عن دلاء a young girl young woman she came to the prophet صلى she said my father has married me off to my cousin to raise his status against my will he's forced me to marry my cousin against my will فجعل الامر إليها فقالت قد اجزت ما صنع ابي ولكن اردت أن تعلم النساء أن ليس إلى الاباء من الامر شي she said or the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت اتفاقها و this is from the wisdom of islam it's so beautiful she got married she was forced to marry the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت اتفاقها و قال اتفاقها و now you're divorced now not only did you get forced into marriage you're also a divorce you got forced into marriage and you're a divorce gave her choice what do you want to do do you want to if you want to stay with that man you can stay with him and if you want to divorce him i can break up the marriage she said i am okay with what my dad did i've allowed what my dad did but i wanted the women to know that fathers don't have a right to do this thing that's as roughly as i can translate that fathers don't have control the matter is not in their hands it's not the matter that they have the right to decide so it's a beautiful hadith explaining that you have to have both the husband and the wife have to be happy and if it's the case that the wife is not happy or the the bride is not happy and she's forced into it without her permission then in this case she has a choice either to stay in the marriage or either to leave the marriage and it's entirely up to her the next condition that we have is the presence of the and as we said the generally speaking it is the father that's that the father has the right to give his daughter away in marriage however there are times when it might not be the father the father passed away or the father has some reason why he can't be the like for example he's not a muslim and of course it's not allowed for a non-muslim to have authority over a muslim it's not allowed for a non-muslim father to decide for his daughter or to give his daughter away in marriage because that's a kind of authority and it's not allowed for him as a non-muslim to have that authority over his daughter who is a muslim so the welly usually is the father in some cases it might be another relative in some cases it might be the muslim judge or the muslim imam it could be that's in different cases but this also this issue of just randomly choosing a welly is not something praiseworthy you know like some of the revert sisters and they just say like i just choose my welly that's not the way the welly works the welly is the father if the father is not suitable then it goes to the qaldi to the judge and the judge chooses who the welly should be either he takes himself or either he appoints your brother your uh you know your uh uncle uh fulan the owner of this place the the the يعني the imam of the masjid he will appoint somebody but it's not for the woman to say i've chosen this guy is the welly and then the next يعني two weeks later she marries him and this is like folder it's complete chaos this issue of choosing the welly so the prophet صعيسام he said ايوم ايوم امرأة نكحت بغير اذن وليها فانكاحها باطل فانكاحها باطل فانكاحها باطل he said whichever woman she marries without the permission of her welly her نكاح is باطل it's completely invalid her نكاح is invalid her نكاح is invalid and the حديث is narrated in جامع ترمذي and in other places with different wordings it's also a requirement for the contract to have two witnesses and that's because the prophet صعيسام said ايوم ايوم وشاهدين there is no نكاح except with the welly and two witnesses those two witnesses obviously are two male muslim witnesses above the age of puberty who are people of religion and people of honor and يعني who are trusted in their witness and also and some of the scholars made this a condition and it's safer to make it a condition and even though some of the scholars didn't say it's a condition لكن it's it's safer to consider this at least highly recommended if not a condition is the statement of the prophet صعيسام اعلن نكاح announce the marriage and that's in مصنع اليمام احمد announce the marriage in other words that the marriage isn't done in secret and شيخ الاسلام والتيمية رحم الله تعالى he considers to be so important that it can even come above the شاهدين above the two witnesses يعني because at the end of the day if you announce it then it takes the place of that but here I think that we bring all of them together we bring the two witnesses and we announce the marriage and it's safer to consider that condition or a highly highly recommended action that should not be that should not be gone aside from اللهما unless the person is unable to announce it I because they are they got married let's say on a journey and they were not able to announce it to everybody but this idea of secret marriages and this guy's been married to a woman for 10 years nobody knows that he married it's not appropriate and in the opinion of some of the علامة for who are any it puts a great doubt upon the validity of the marriage or at least it's extremely extremely dislike for a person to do that so I consider this to be very serious that the إعلان should be done the نكاح should be announced now some people might be asking about the مهر and as for the مهر the مهر is not the necessarily part of the conditions meaning if the مهر is not mentioned the نكاح is still valid and the مهر just becomes the مهر which is normal or customary for a woman of that status in that kind of place but الله عز وجاه said واتن نساء صدقاتهن نحلة فإنطبنا لكم عن شيء منه نفسا فكروه هني أم مري أسورة النساء أية نمبر فو give the women their مهر there's their صدقاتهن their صداق their مهر نحلة فإنطبنا لكم and if they are happy with if they are happy to give you some or they're happy to share some or spend some on something for you with طيب النفس any like they're totally like content it's not forced it's not like pushed for them and they said they had some of the مهر and they gave it to to the help the husband with something then the husband is allowed to take it هني أم مري or without any concerns or any worries so that is the obligation of giving the مهر but it's not a condition of the نكاح meaning if it's not given it just goes to مهر المثل it just goes to the مهر of what is customary for a woman of that kind of status in that kind of place as for the things which are recommended in the contract then we have the خطبة الحاجة and that is something that i would like to take in the next episode إن شاء الله تعالى to go through with you and translate and take some of the benefits from because that خطبة الحاجة has a lot of benefits in it as it relates to the نكاح and we can look at it from the point of view of the نكاح إن شاء الله تعالى that's coming up in the next episode and that's what Allah made easy for me to mention أنا الله نوز بست والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آلية وصحبية أجمعين السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com