 All righty, let's play this for everybody to watch here All right couple things about this I think the two biggest three biggest things to me are a There's a lot of overlocking overlocking What's the word? It's just an over extension of your IK arm Kind of missing the right words here, but again, it's just a very very Overstretched arms there The second thing is I don't think this is needed. It's a bit distracting It doesn't really add anything to the story It doesn't add an additional conflict where maybe he's trying to get it in but he can't get it high enough So then every time he tries the cart goes away goes away goes away and he just keeps walking walking goes off-screen Which could be a gag where you're taking away the Simon and making it and it's something different, right? So it's kind of the conflict is not the weight the conflict is to get this in here because it has wheels He never makes it and it just goes off-screen. It just happens to involve weight So it's almost like one of those how to take your animation to the next level examples But as of now, it doesn't really affect him. He doesn't really change the grip. It's just kind of there So personally, it's also really fast that move I Personally would take it out. I would just keep this here have him turn around and then try to put it in And then I would slow this down. It's a bit high frequency But just to go back to be clear the things that I would pay attention to the overextension of that Same here. So every time you overextend those arms kind of Spray those arms Speaking of which they seem super super short. He barely has a moment where he's straight up. So If he gets really straight arms, you know here, it feels like that hand would be around here You know, that should be usually the kind of mid thigh So I'm not sure it's going with unless he is standing and his arms are like this and you don't really have him low So I'm not sure what this rig is the proportions seem really really off. So I would kind of look at this I mean, they're not that long See here to be here I know they just seem really short So I would take a look at these and make sure that nothing's broken or some scale assets are there some channels or change I don't know. I will look at that first before you go into all full detail into fixing your arms And the other big thing is this Besides those movements being twin that all move at the same time. It's kind of like it's kind of a classic there I say beginner move of Once the character is done Arms just go down and swing around as if a robot was turned off and the arms just kind of swing until they stop It's turned into kind of a pendulum assignment, which is not something a normal human being would do Unless there's a very specific acting point to it and maybe you know within the context in the situation It would make more sense But right now this just seems really weird I will personally whatever just do is do this here and when it's done See how he immediately he goes away from it from the melon watermelon. I would go And he really goes with it his swings forward so that oh man this happens He's actually here body forward and then his arms can kind of rest here Those are horrible legs. But anyway, he'll be like this so that instead of this he rests his arms on it and Then he can be like that and that way It kind of adds to the thing of well, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. This was really heavy So I'm going to use the cart to rest my hands on because I'm tired and I don't have enough Power and force and muscle strength to keep them even just straight. I mean To me that will feel more natural would be something that kind of would fit the scene and fit his I would say state of mind, but his you know level of fitness if you will versus This swinging that just kind of weird Not a massive fan of that Those are the biggest things The other stuff I would do here This seems a bit fast this roll this roll up here. So he grabs it here and goes I Don't know. I would go This is pretty heavy because if that's the watermelon is kind of grabbing it from the middle Which would give this a lot of weight So I would almost do personally I would to Relax have this arm Regrip it at the top while the other one can be lower Just for offset and asymmetry and then when you lift it up That arm Would be up here and not that straight I would have it a little bit of a bend there and you can hold it here while the other one is behind it But we can't really see it which is fine Maybe the fingers are here, but this would seem like a bigger a better pivot point I mean if the pivot is here and you hold it from the top It would seem like it would be easier and better to lift then go low and grab all of this weight. I think the the Turning and pulling and you know that motion and the physics of it. I think will make more sense and Then you could potentially keep that speed. I would still make it probably like 20 percent slower Then once you have that I like that you go down and readjust which would be cool because then if that hand is up here that you can have a little Moment that's maybe a second longer Then bring the hands down. Whoa hands down here Maybe the other fingers out here if you can reach but again those arms are so short So I don't think so but then you have time for a re-grab and then you got to slow it down So right now you go to here Go straight into that so you can give this a few more frames for the readjustment from up here to down here and then This seems really really fast and also really going in event But if you would look at the physics of it This is so heavy and then here it goes down rises the edge of the thing as He pulls the moment it gets off of that wooden edge here. It would just go It would just drop because the thing is I don't think you would go and pull so hard To go back even if you would they would have a visually I would have an arc in there But if that's such a fast pull then to me will go Oh a with an arc go here, but they would have so much force that then he would kind of move This bottle move to here Potentially a step back here and even it may be a turn in the Y And it would be just a much more a bigger impact of him pulling so hard that he has to take a couple steps I think that I would either do this right so if you want to keep this Give this a bit more of a more appealing arc than just a straight fashion there, but then have some Consequences such a big fast pull with something. That's that heavy instead of just locking here being still or He starts to roll with it so heavy right and he doesn't really have that Much power to leaning backwards you can really lift it up high So if he just pulls it over the edge, it would drop and will be more of a swing down like that Which again you might have to add a Step like this here, but maybe halfway just an adjustment step as it goes right to here So he will be be more of a over and then boy drops cookies. It's so heavy and then he brings it back up And then for a step for a readjustment Into here so what I would do is instead of doing this I would take that out like I said and kind of work on that moment through there To have a bit more of an adjustment step Either with this drop like this and a swing up or with a big pull back and then really have a Okay, take a step or two This has an idea. Let's pretend everything else before that was okay. We're starting here Just I'm just looking at that move only It's kind of cool. I don't mind that just because it's so heavy. He just has to kind of Hit it off one leg and has to take a Long step there to get over there. It's just the problem with the physics of this the body mechanics is that once you're here He is leaning this way the foot is so far this way that the Descent of gravity and the balance is off especially with this being so heavy at this point. He would fall over so Let's even pretend that the foot was here a bit more steady even then He'll be really hard for him to move over this way so quickly if you look at his root and the whole body You need something that leg would have to be positioned like this so that the shin and the thigh are pointed this way All right, so that he would have force in this leg to push himself over this way right now There's nothing a he would collapse Over this way anyway, but there's physically nothing that will make him go this way Just the mechanics the body mechanics just don't really work here Watch out for this here just kind of takes one step, and it's a very slidey step At least here. There's a bit of a tilt over and you can imagine it's a bit off the ground, but this one just feels a bit Slow in timing right even in timing And then he just kind of leans over and it would really really hurt his back to me it seems like if you're in a position like this I would have him lean backwards and With a lot of the you know those all shaped bow legged legs here Take quick quick quick quick quick steps, so to me it would be the contrast of movement of someone going There's that it's a big slow move And then read just and then Go forward otherwise you have Move Step step so it's very even in timing all those beats So to me in terms of contrast This would be step step step step step into a turn here This I'm not quite buying the way either because it's mainly coming out of his you know His forearm and a little bit of his upper arm bicep biceps area here, so I Think you would have to have more of a Move back with his head then the back Then his arms is kind of I need more momentum. He needs to swing himself back So to get this into here, which is cool, and you can always anticipate the whole thing by Lowering the roots then going up, so I'd say he goes he goes down and then it's So it's a head up chest back push up with the legs for the root to go up and that whole thing swings The watermelon over and again, I wouldn't do those arm swings. I would probably just keep them up here resting and then this is a bit fast for this to go up Coupier one frame, but then going down over one frame and especially coming back is a bit weird Because you have the watermelon going a bit this way. It's left to right. It's not full straight down So if this goes up, I will bring this back down over at least two frames If not three if it kind of play with this a bit occurs what the field would be But then the wheel will be here you want to have I am you want to forward or screen right? Forward for him, but screen right movement of that cart here This just feels too fast and maybe that even maybe that's even too big You can go up and then down over two frames But the height here cut that in half which will slow the whole thing down that might even be better I don't mind this stuff here. That's kind of okay, but I will probably do a little bit like I say with a Translator role of this card here. So by the end of maybe here is you know that card could be here It could still have a bit of a role And I'm not sure if you have any control over these guys they would have to rotate a bit Cards usually have rotation in the front wheel so you can turn Turn that thing already I Mean there's other stuff, you know terms of the facial expressions finger poses Polish on the feet like stuff like here feels like you're overextending that leg There's not enough foot roll, but I feel like I don't want to get into this into this right now because There still seems to be you got to choose on what you want to do with this moment again I would take this out I would take smaller steps to get there and then this whole area is such a big and different Move body mechanics wise that this seems like bigger chunk for you to fix And there's as a visual thing. I would not mix photos with CG elements It's just kind of a weird mix between a lot of texture variety even here That's a lot of texture stuff with very plain textures here. I would keep it within this Style even this might be too much. I just simplify simplify the look of it. Oh So I believe in terms of the perspective this seems a bit off So I would just personally take you know ads geometry pieces in the back If you want to fill in this background, but I would take the photo away and just keep it all all CG All right, that's That for this one Now this clip is Even more broad strokes just because the first time I was watching this I was slightly confused as to what was happening I did ask you a new wrote in an email back that he's saying hi to the audience, which I'm not sure that helps It's still confusing. Basically when I was watching this I was going Okay, he's saying hi, but to whom is is kind of looking at us or is it slightly just to the right of camera? I'm not sure. Okay. Let's continue. Okay. Wait, what is he looking for? Why is he so angry concerned? It's a weird going from hi and then this like, okay I guess he's looking for something. It's a bit of a weird acting break besides sliding feet there, but Okay, so then it looks over here sees this But then it seems really I Know this weird because you go into a bit of a confused look But if you're confused Okay, maybe not you're not looking for this or why are you confused? But then it seems really freaked out I'm really freaked out Okay, why? But then it takes the time to close the door if you that freaked out then you would either Get to this thing as quickly as you can or get away from it You know, it's either you're afraid from it of it and you want to go away Oh, you're really interested in it and you want to get to it quickly but then to take the time to close the door that feels a bit weird and then this Suddenly happens. I mean, I know this slams down. I guess this comes loose, but then it suddenly turns into That with a lot of weird stretching like where the the physicality of head gets very water balloony I'm not a massive fan. I mean, this is my potential be a bit subjective as well But usually for I mean for stretchy stuff I will look at what parts can stretch parts of the body limbs could stretch You know stuff like this and a bit in the head, but still even in cartoon fashion. There's still a skull. That's hard So you can stretch like this area Ah, the cheeks and the bit of the jaw down and kind of the fleshy parts you can stretch but for the upper part To balloon like that feels a bit weird But then he moves over here And it holds on to that way. How does he hold on to this? This is a bit weird too as he brings his arm back really really far But I say, okay, then he's really really knocked out, but we're spending a lot of time on this So if you watch this he goes, oh And then you feel like, okay, let's get to this big old. Wait. Why did you take time? Okay? Okay got hit Okay, well, he's really stumbling for a long time. Holy moly Okay, now he's finally there And then and then what? What happens so there's no ending so I Don't know it feels to me like there's just not the right focus. I'm not sure what you're trying to tell Why is he saying hi to the audience? Okay, if he comes in And it's right in front of him. I know maybe this might be too picky, but it's right in front of him But I guess okay. I'm assuming he's looking for this then but then why is he freaked out? Or is that supposed to be really excited? But then he doesn't look excited here. It looks confused and then freaked out. I don't know. It's very confusing Here looks like okay. I'm ready to eat this but then this happens And then this as he gets kind of ready with the weird, I don't say tangent It's not a tangent, but it's a weird overlap with the tip of the banana on his nose just to the staging is a bit weird but But and then what so I would look at what's your main objective of the character? What does the character want? Does he want to eat? Okay then If he's that excited, like why is he that excited? Is he really Hungry and exhausted so maybe coming in here would be more like And it's really hot outside or something. He's just really hungry instead of this happy thing And that way he would be so happy to see this because oh, I can finally eat And then right before he gets it Something happens where the food gets away and then that's his the struggle of getting to the food I don't know like whatever you want to do But there's something where I'm just not quite getting the objective So to me even if everything was really really well animated I think there's still a lot to do in terms of timing and mechanics Even though that's a good one here. That's cool It's just very confusing especially this part is really really long so just kind of the pacing of it and the focus of it is To me so confusing Or just not clear enough. It's not massively confusing in terms of me flipping the table over But it's just not very focused and it's just I'm kind of lost interest by now And I'm just not sure what's going on. So if you can find the clear This is the character. This is his objective They make it clear a to b. That's what's happening or On the path from a to b. There's something that happens in the middle. There's a conflict There's a problem and then what does the character do to get over it because for now This coming down and hitting him Has really no bearing on this. It doesn't really influence This at all. He's just delayed in getting to this But in a way, this is the same As this just closer. So why was that here? So I don't know to me Personally, I would if if you're already adding all that effort and working I would make this a bit more character driven and with an objective and in something where you can play with something where Maybe he slams the door and then because of that This beam falls down from somewhere else hits the table And then these guys fly around and he goes no, I don't want this to fall down or get wasted or Splat down or whatever. Maybe there's something else that could break And then you get into something like this where he's running around As these guys fall and he's juggling and trying to to catch everything I know there's something else that you could do that could push your body mechanics in a way that you you're doing here But with something that makes more sense Yeah, I hope I make sense If not, let me know email me. Um But that's it for this one So I want to get a bit of a back and forth via email so that we can kind of clarify and and give you a good objective and good path Uh and focus for the shot. All right. Thank you All right, there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want You can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way a like and subscribe would be awesome. All right. Thank you