 My question is that you talk about You talk about variety wanting variety to be this natural. Oh, yeah, and also that Nogami is the lack of variety Partnership exactly. Yeah, is this natural state as well? So my question is why are these two completely natural things seeming so diametrically opposed to each other Why are natural inclination be to drive us away from this state of natural harmony that you talked about interesting enough That's the state of nature and we'll see it in in positive and negative forces We'll see it in light and dark there. There is a spectrum this duality to to nature of connection and independence of of Revelation of you know for example sharing and privacy and so you have to be able to deal with these Dialectic tensions and that by the way is part of relationship maintenance is a whole series of how do you deal with these dualities and dichotomies this dichotomization of ideals the separation of these things that are seemingly opposed as opposed to bringing things together I'll throw this out. I Had a relatively short-world term relationship with this this woman who very much understood the idea of variety And it was kind of alarming actually you walk into her bedroom Okay, and it was this awesome bookcase I thought initially was going to be for hats because there are nothing but cubes It's just a wall of cubes for slotted storage and inside each one of these was a head mannequin Just a simple mannequin and a wig and it was just it was like an art piece. It was a display gallery I oh, that's really interesting part of me was terribly intrigued and She turns to me in a sexual tone and goes who do you want me to be? And I'm like damn. I mean yo Fuck yeah, I mean one woman multiple multiple personalities or projections or idea and talk about a way of getting my sense of variety and interest and fascination geared right to her Had my freaking attention Problem is I kind of let the cat slip out of the bag there. Who do you want me to be in his multiple personalities? It wasn't just for a sense of variety of interest and keeping my attention this this chick was damaged good and had multiple Personalities when she said who do you want me to be it was really who do you want me to be not pretend? but you can play with that duality by understanding my Hypogamous interest in other women my sense of need for variety all those sort of things and Have a solution for women can propose this There's a number of ways in which to do this if you understand that and you talk about hey What what kind of turns your crank? What are your interest variety and a lot of times it's changing things up? It's not just a variety with a number of different women. It may be context. It may be delivery It may be content very much like I I love food or we have interest in food We may go out to eat at different restaurants. Okay, what's our intimacy levels like what's the degree of intimacy like? Are we slower? Are we more committed or is it a fast bang? Thank you ma'am Is it aggressive? Is it playful you can play with a sense of variety? By the way, if you get in the habit of doing that a pattern of behavior doing that you could be terribly successful And I don't care, you know, there's there is no cheating in on this Okay, if you have to write this shit down on a calendar fucking do it Okay, one of the things that I'll do and for example we talk about changing variety up