 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Bluster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, the schools have been closed during the Christmas vacation and our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School has spent hers quite Enjoyably yes indeed during the day's preceding Christmas There was the thrill of wondering what kind of gifts I'd receive Then in the days following there's been the thrill of wondering what I'd get in exchange for the Christmas gifts. I received By last Thursday though I had made up my mind and paid a visit to the exchange counter of Sherry's department store Pardon me. Are you in charge here? Yes, ma'am Dale is the name Rex Dale and who might you be? I might be mrs. Boynton if I keep my New Year's resolution Right now the name is Constance Brooks several of my friends have purchased gifts here that I'd like to exchange I see first of all, there's the plastic monstrosity in this box That doesn't seem quite the way to talk about a gift from a friend miss Brooks This happens to have been presented to me my by my principal mr. Conklin and believe me. It's terrifying No Christmas present freely given should be referred to as terrifying here. I'll open the box for you There In the world is it? It's a figure of Atlas carrying a globe only the globe is built in the shape of a round house Which tells the changes in the weather by a small man and woman who pop out of their respective doors when you least expect But what's this on the back of the figure he seems to have a red spine that's a thermometer and dangling from the thermometer is a small alarm clock Now I recall this item it must be quite popular the gentleman who bought it ordered six of them He said it was giving to several members of the faculty Well, there must be some place you could use it mr. Dale This sort of thing was old-fashioned when grandma was a girl. Where could it possibly fit in the modern home? Well, let's see. Do you have a fireplace in your living room? Yes, and I thought of the fireplace myself, but plastic doesn't burn very well I was thinking of the mantelpiece. Couldn't you put it up there? I tried that too, but my landlady keeps a canary in a cage on the mantelpiece. Well, isn't the room for them both? Yes, but I don't believe in being cruel to our feathered friends The first time I put this thing next to the cage the canary took one look at it and fell headfirst into his bird bath Well, if you don't mind I'd like to exchange this for some lingerie. Well, if you insist miss Brooks I'll give you this credit slip just short of the clerk in the lingerie department. Oh before you make it out There's something else mr. Dale these earrings were purchased here, too. Oh, what's wrong with them? They're a trifle to ornate for me. Oh nonsense. They're beautiful. Just look at the workmanship and those exquisite brass crowbars I'm afraid they're a little too heavy for me mr. Dale. Heavy? Well, let me heft them. All right, I'll put one on the counter here Yes, they are a bit substantial aren't they substantial they pull my ears down so far. I look like a Cocker Spaniel I'll just get a nice manicure set instead very well miss Brooks anything else not much I'd like to exchange this pen and pencil set for some stockings and these slippers for a handbag Miss Brooks wasn't there anything you received for Christmas that pleased you? Oh, yes, mr. Dale I have a blue and white scarf that I'm just delighted with and who bought that for you. I did Now if you'll give me those other exchange slips, I'll get the rest of my unshopping done I don't like to rush you but Walter Denzin a student of mine has offered to pick me up in his car in a few minutes Well, I wouldn't bank on it miss Brooks. What do you mean? If he's a student of yours. He's probably exchanged his car for a pogo stick It was nice of you to interrupt your holiday to give me this lift Walter for you miss Brooks my you tied spirit knows no bounds You tied did you have Walter? Magnificent miss Brooks. Well, you should have seen my house the spirit of giving was rampant the gifts for everybody all over the place Sounds wonderful. Yeah, the horn of plenty was really loaded this Christmas Well, you can't blame your father for relaxing on a holiday Presence what did you get Walter? I got some lovely gifts miss Brooks Didn't you notice anything different about this car when you got in let's see the four fenders are still missing What is still off the motor? Wind shield hasn't been replaced yet. Yeah, go on something new has definitely been added the convertible top is still absent There's only half of a rear-view mirror and the glass is out of both doors. I can't figure it out Walter What's been added nylon seat covers? Just what this car needed Who gave them to you both my mother and father together yeah My father gave me a sweater and my mother gave me a muffler and I exchanged them Today I was right like teacher like pupil. What did Harriet Conklin give you? Oh, do you like this plaid sport shirt? I've got on yes, it's very attractive. Did Harriet get you that nobody key chain and 90 cents did Here we are your place miss Brooks Sound before you get out miss Brooks, would you mind telling me what mr. Boynton got you for Christmas? I know Harriet was egging him on to get you something real personal and feminine Oh, he almost got me something extremely personal, but I stopped him in time. Oh, what was he gonna get a stapler? Finally settled for a pair of very clever earring shaped like crowbars, but just between us I exchanged them for a manicure set But why what was wrong with the earrings? I couldn't get them on without a stapler Well Connie did you get all your exchanging done? Yes, Mrs. Davis. I got some wonderful things good I'm glad to see you looking so chipper. You seem pretty blue last night when mr. Boynton broke a date with you He couldn't help it. Mrs. Davis. He had to attend the meeting of the biology club besides. I enjoyed the movie I saw very much. What did you see Connie born yesterday with Judy holiday broad Crawford and Bill Holden? Well, if they were all there you couldn't have missed mr. Boynton too much Before I forget Connie mr. Conklin called twice while you were out mr. Conklin. What did he want? I'm not sure Connie, but it's about some kind of a report or something He wants you to help him with it, but this is my vacation if he calls again, please tell him I'm out Oh, I'm afraid you'll have to tell him yourself dear. I'm going out in the garden one of our crawling vines has tripped over the garage door Oh Well, I won't be home very long anyway, maybe he won't Then again, maybe he will Mrs. Davis, this is us good conklin again has miss Brooks come in yet miss Brooks. There is no miss Brooks here This is main two four nine six, isn't it? Wee. This is the French and laundry. Pee-pee speaking The girl in charge of the mangle Well, you look for monsieur. I'm looking for a school teacher named Constance Brooks a school teacher Oh la live you got the wrong number Well, that's a reprieve for a while. Mrs. Davis, Mrs. Davis dear. She's out in back Hello, hello, this is the one question for one thousand program. We're trying to contact miss Constance Brooks What if miss Constance Brooks can answer one simple question? We have a thousand dollars in cold hard cash Waiting to be sent to her a thousand dollars. This is miss Brooks. Are you absolutely certain you are miss Brooks? Of course, what's the question? The question is how could you in the French hand laundry of switch phone numbers so quickly? I Guess you must have gotten our party line, sir. I'd all right all right miss Brooks We'll forget your little him the reason I called is to thank you for your Christmas gift to me Oh, it was just a little remembrance. Mr. Conklin. You couldn't have chosen a more perfect reminder miss Brooks Two big heavy bookends They just seemed to sense that we haven't had any personal contact since Christmas and yesterday as if by magic One of them toppled off the table and landed on my foot Like old time sorry, mr. Conklin if you'd rather have something else I couldn't part with those bookends if they eat up half my salary in band-aids See miss Brooks in spite of your raffish and undisciplined displays of wit I feel that you like myself are basically a sentimental person when I receive a present I feel it's a token of someone's affection and I wouldn't dream of exchanging it for anything else. I Presume you feel the same way Hello I mean certainly mr. Conklin by the way miss Brooks. How did you like my gift to you? Stunning mr. Conklin, and you know for the longest time I couldn't decide whether to buy something ornamental or utilitarian then I saw that figure of atlas and you gave up both ideas You combined both ideas Did you find the right spot for it miss Brooks perfect mr. Conklin? I'm keeping it right on the mantelpiece here in our living room Quiet dickie. I'm just kidding Well, I'm glad to hear it miss Brooks I'll be able to kill two birds with one stone then when you assist me with my report parent teachers association But mr. Conklin, this is my vacation That's mine to miss Brooks, but this is for the first important meeting of the new year So I'll be over to your place in about an hour at which time I can see how effective my atlas looks in your living room But mr. Conklin, you can't come here. The house is a mess. Mrs. Davis is in the midst of her spring cleaning Spring cleaning But this is the middle of the winter I know but she likes to give herself plenty of time If you don't believe she's doing her spring cleaning you can ask her yourself. Mr. Conklin. Mrs. Davis you Mrs. Davis Sorry, sir. She must be out in the kitchen dying Easter eggs Tell her to save me a pink one. I'll be there in an hour Oh, no, this is a fine spot to be in did you call me Connie? It's too late now. Mrs. Davis too late for what for me to get down to Sherry's and get mr. Conklin's present back He's coming over here in an hour to give me some dictation and he expects to see it on the mantelpiece Forgive my absent mind Connie But there were so many gadgets here around this Christmas that I just don't remember mr. Conklin's gift What was it a plastic figure of atlas with a big globe on his head that tells the weather And a thermometer spine and also an alarm clock. Oh, where in the world is the alarm clock? You wouldn't believe me if I told you Brush your teeth with cold gates cold gate dental cream. It cleans your breath. What a toothpaste What a clean your teeth cold gate toothpaste clean your breath what a toothpaste what a clean your teeth Cold gate dental cream cleaned your breath while it cleans your teeth and the cold gate way Stops tooth decay best. Yes, the cold gate way is the most thoroughly proved and accepted home method of oral hygiene known today Over over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating with cold gate dental cream Help stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentifers history the cold gate way stopped tooth decay best No other dentifers amniated or not offer such conclusive proof And you should know that cold gates while not mentioned by name was the only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay Recently reported in readers digest so always follow the cold gate way to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and Stop tooth decay best Brush your teeth with cold gates Go get dental green it cleans your breath what a toothpaste And the cold gate way stops tooth decay best Well when I had calmed down a bit I realized that mr. Conklin had perpetrated his Atlas clock on several other members of the faculty So the only question was from whom to borrow one then Mrs. Davis reminded me that mr. Boynton had received one And there was no more question. I had never seen mr. Boynton's new apartment and this seemed like as good a time as any Be right there Well miss Brooks, this is a surprise come on in. Thanks mr. Boynton here. Let me take your coat. All right So this is your new apartment. May I look around go right ahead? Aren't you coming with me? Well, you don't have to go anywhere. This is all there is to it Please don't mind the appearance of the place after all. What can you do with a bachelor? There must be a nonsensorable answer to that Don't you find this place a bit confining for a big husky broad shoulder dashing vital I Forgot what I started to say You were wondering if I found this apartment confining actually I don't miss Brooks I don't spend very much time in it But when I'm here, I rather like the compactness of it. Of course, it's different with a girl I don't suppose you'd care for a tight squeeze. Try me This place certainly wouldn't be any problem to keep clean I'm afraid I don't pay any attention to that end of it All you'd have to do is wrap yourself in a damp towel get in the center of the room and spin around a little Maybe small but this place has all the facilities of a larger apartment Did you know that I have a two-burner electric stove in here really where I keep it in my breadbox Oh In the kitchen now, there's no kitchen. I just keep the bread box in the refrigerator. I Give up. Where's the refrigerator in the closet? Just open that door on your left. All right, I Still don't see the refrigerator your coat strapped over it Well now that you hear miss Brooks, how would you like to stay to lunch? No, thanks, mr. Boynham I wouldn't want you to have to unwrap your kitchen just for me Besides, I've got to be getting back to my place before mr. Conklin comes to work with me That's the real reason I dropped over mr. Boynham to borrow the atlas. Mr. Conklin gave you What did you do with the one he gave you? I exchanged it for some lingerie. So did I what color? What am I going to do he expects to see that atlas prominently displayed on my mantelpiece Well, why don't you phone mr. Conklin and tell him you went out without your keys and mrs. Davis has left the house, too I could do that then he'd probably suggest that I come over to his place. That wouldn't be so bad Well, I don't have my phone in yet miss Brooks, but right on the corner. There's a gas station or a candy store You can call from I'll use the gas station. I'm on a little bit of a diet Before you go miss Brooks, I I haven't seen you wear the earrings I got you for Christmas is yet. You will put them on for New Year's Eve, won't you? New Year's Eve? Well, yes, I've gotten hold of an extra ticket to the biology club dance I took it for granted that you'd tag along then you can take it for granted that the earrings will drag along with me And while we're on the subject of presents you don't seem to be wearing the cuff links I gave you the cuff links Oh, well, I'm saving those for New Year's Eve, too. Yes, sir Well, you better run along now and phone mr. I guess we won't be seeing each other again until our date Sunday night. Oh, we'll see each other before that When it all depends on what time we both arrived to exchange our exchanges at the exchange counter Well, well if you've lost your keys and mrs. Davis is out I suppose it's the only thing you can do miss Brooks, but my wife is having some folks in tonight So we'll have to finish up at your place after dinner. Yes, sir. That'll give me plenty of time That is I'll see you. Bye. Goodbye Harriet. Oh Harriet. Here I am daddy. What can I do for you? Do you know what's been done with those two monstrosities that miss Brooks gave me for Christmas? You mean those two cute bookends? Yes, those cute bookends Two green midgets with purple beard shoving their shoulders against yellow wheel Last time I saw them your mother was cracking walnuts with them Gosh daddy mother told me she exchanged them for a vase what but miss Brooks is coming over here to work She'll expect to see those twin nightmares on my desk Well, there's only one thing I'll do I'll run down to Cherries and try to get them back before she comes It was just wonderful of you to drive me down here again, Walter I've got to get back the Atlas and mr. Boynton's earrings at once. Oh, that's okay, miss Brooks I've got to get back the key chain Harriet gave me Oh, did she ask you about it? Yeah, she said she expected me to wear it on New Year's Eve Gosh, I wished I'd had my wits about me. I'd have asked her why she wasn't wearing the pearls I gave her you gave Harriet pearls Walter certainly not but I know she's exchanged so many gifts It would have thrown a good scare into her Too bad about the key chain Walter the shirt you exchanged it for looked lovely on you. Yeah, it did didn't it? No, the thought of exchanging it distresses me deeply. I guess I'm just a sentimentalist at heart miss Brooks a sentimentalist Yes, when a person near and dear to me gives me a present. I hate to exchange it more than once Here's the counter. Uh, how do you do mr. Dale? Remember me now? I don't tell me Let's see. Oh, of course you were the lovely lady who almost gave me a nervous breakdown this morning Remember me certainly you gave me a nervous breakdown yesterday Look you too. I'm going to start all over again. Are you know mr. Dale this time. It's going to be very simple Oh, good. I'd like to turn in some lingerie and get back my atlas But this morning you were practically livid about that was this morning Then I'd like to turn in my manicure set and get back my earrings Yeah, and I'd like to turn in my sports shirt and get back my key chain. I have a dispatch for you both I'd like to turn in this job and get back my sanity Make out your exchange slips in just a moment, but first miss Brooks You've got to do me a small favor. What is it? Just stand behind this counter for one moment while I go out for a smoke I'm beginning to feel my nerves nibbling at the base of my skull like mice Oh, but mr. Dale, I'll be too many customers at this time of day But if anyone does come over just be courteous by that I mean be sure to say please when you ask them to drop dead. Oh Oh, he'll never make a good exchange clerk too sensitive Well, while we're waiting for him I'm gonna look at some sports equipment over in the next aisle But you can't leave me behind this counter all alone water. Why not it might open up a whole new career to you Especially if you don't get mr. Conklin's atlas back in time now. Listen, Walter See you later miss Brooks and don't forget to say please Dandy this is turning out to be some vacation. Oh, pardon me miss But I'd like to swap this pen knife for miss Brooks. You can't have miss Brooks for that pen knife Mr. Boynton, I was just gonna say blazes. Oh and go right ahead What in the blazes are you doing behind this counter? I'm just pinch hitting for a busy friend busy friend Yes, he's brushing some mice off the base of his skull I Can do for you mr. Boynton. Well, there there was something I wanted to exchange for something else But I'll wait until the regular clerk comes back, but he may never come back the mice may brush him off Why don't you tell me what it is you want to exchange? Well, I couldn't miss Brooks. It's it's rather personal I'm a young man. Pardon me miss. I'd like to swap this vase for miss Brooks. You can't have miss Brooks for that base Not even if you threw in a pen knife, but what in the blazes am I doing behind this counter? Exactly and you boynton. What are you doing here? Well, I have something I'd like to exchange mr. Conklin a deplorable practice exchanging gifts chosen abysmal lack of consideration for those who presented them to you What are you doing here? Mr. Conklin for me? I've just been doing some last-minute shopping I've never been near this exchange counter since Sherry's opened its doors to the public or me either but today Well miss Brooks. I feel a little better now. Thanks for well, what do you know? It's a Madison High reunion Then you know these gentlemen mr. Dale know them since Christmas we've been practically living together This chunky boy with the malignant mustache has been back about nine times Mr. Conklin, I thought you didn't believe in exchanging gifts. I don't miss Brooks It's just that well, I was down here with my wife a couple of times couple of times He was here so often. I thought he was trying to turn her in That's a hot one Well, I'll be running along now. I've got one moment mr. Boynton Mr. Dale has this tall gentleman been down here too. Has he he's the most insidious type of all He's the sort who expects the Brooklyn Bridge and returned for a pair of cuff links Oh, mr. Boynton you did exchange the cuff links. I gave you what are you complaining about you turned in the atlas He gave you didn't you that was the atlas. I gave you miss Brooks How could you do it? I hate to see a canary bird with a limp Anyway, you're a fine one to talk mustache you turned in the desk glance. He gave you desk lamp Well, that's what I gave you mr. Conklin. What about those earrings that pulled down your ears miss bro? And more important than any of this what about getting out that report of mine to the parent-teachers association? You're right mr. Conklin. I'll settle this matter of gifts once and for all mr. Dale I'm going to turn in everything. I've received this Christmas for just two presents for these gentlemen two presents Yes, give mr. Boynton a Cocker spaniel and mr. Conklin a workhorse Returns in just a moment, but first dream girl Luster cream tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen soft manageable tonight. Yes tonight. Try luster cream shampoo dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to a luster cream And Here's a New Year's greeting card to each and every one of you in 51 a year of love happiness contentment and joy from the makers of luster cream shampoo and now once again here is Eve Arden Freedom is everybody's job That's why all of us must work to keep our individual rights and freedoms by voting in an informed way Serving willingly on juries and public committees and taking an interest in the development of our community state and country That way we can all make 1951 a year that will prove the strength and success of democracy And now on behalf of my sponsor the Colgate palm olive Pete company and myself a very happy new year to all of you Good night This is burns left reminding you to tune in next week to another our miss Brooke show brought to you by luster cream shampoo Or soft glamorous caressable hair and Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns written by Al Lewis and Arthur Alsberg with the music of Wilbur Hatch Mr. Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler. Mr. Conklin by Gale Gordon others in tonight's cast with Jane Morgan Dick Kranagh Gloria McMillan and Joseph Kearns Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days Yes, 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women that palm olive soap facials using nothing But palm olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds Massaging palm olives beauty lather onto your skin then rinse So start your palm olive facials today remember doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills be sure to hear mr. And mrs. North every Tuesday over this same network Don't miss the exciting and laughable adventures of these amateur detectives here mr. And mrs. North every Tuesday night and be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks Bob Lamont speaking stay tuned now for Jack Benny. This is CBS