 The Oscars. A magical night celebrating some of the greatest talent we have in the industry. These beautiful people take to the red carpet wearing clothing that probably costs more than I make in a few months, then gather together in harmony and laughter, complimenting each other up and down about the greatness that was their performance in a film. I didn't actually catch the Oscars live this year or the last like 10 because it's the date I've also chosen to go over my stamp collection. So it did catch me a little off-guard to find out that Will Smith went up on stage and bitch slapped Chris Rock because he didn't like a joke. I'm not gonna lie. There's a part of me that wishes I could slap Chris Rock too because I paid full price to see head of state in theaters. And that movie was awful, but this is absolutely uncalled for. Chris Rock tells a couple of tame jokes and it triggers Will Smith enough to go up on stage, smack him across the face and start cussing him as he gets back to his seat. Let me paint a picture for you. Chris rocks up on stage during what has to be one of the worst Oscars yet. Amy Schumer is one of the hosts. That probably goes without saying. Chris Rock's up on stage doing the thing he's been doing for like 40 plus years. He's telling jokes. Some of them land, some of them don't. Some are offensive to some and not to others. That's what comedy is. You tell jokes for a living as a comedian and sometimes they're gonna touch a nerve. But if you're going into it with good faith, knowing that you could be the butt of one of these things or knowing that at any moment one of your friends or family members can get roasted because you're at an event that's completely obnoxious where you're handing awards to each other for a few hours, you should be checked a little bit. You should be taken down a couple pegs because your ego is so freaking high already. It's unhealthy. So Chris Rock is doing his routine and one of his jokes lands on Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. He makes a quick jab at her lack of hair and says she could be in G.I. Jane too. That's the joke pretty much. Will Smith's an actor, so he's playing along, he's laughing, he's having a good time, but then he looks over and sees his pissed-off wife. And that's when reality kicks in. If he doesn't make a scene right now, he's gonna hear about it later. And anyone who's married knows you either go up on stage and smack the shit out of this guy in front of like 14 million people around the world, or you have to go home to your wife and hear about how you didn't do a damn thing for the rest of your miserable existence. It would appear that big willy style stuck between a rock and a hard place on this. And look, I get it. Will Smith had a tough upbringing. He was raised in West Philadelphia where he spent most of his days on a playground. Will Smith, mere minutes later, went up to an Accept an Award for Best Actor, and he acted like nothing even happened. It's bad enough the dude went up there and slapped Chris Rock. He wouldn't even give him a punch, he wouldn't even give him a hook and all lead. He just smacked him like he was above Chris Rock. The disrespect there is palpable. But then he goes up and delivers a speech. Why was he even still in the room? He assaulted a person live on television. This is like a bad SNL skit. He goes up, slaps a dude, sits back down like, ah, wiki wa-wa! Wiki wa-wiki wa-wa-w West, Jim West, Desperado. There's some conspiracies out there saying this whole thing is staged, because no one really watches this stupid event anymore, and a lot of people don't have cable and they stream on Twitch, or they have Hulu or Disney+, or anything else. I don't think this would have been on Disney+, after that display. But my point still stands, no one cares about this crap anymore. That is until someone gets smacked in the face. And it's a sweetheart, too. Chris Rock? I mean, who doesn't like Chris Rock? One of Chris Rock's stand-up specials, Bigger and Blacker, is one of the funniest comedy specials I've ever seen. If I look back on things that made me laugh hard, that specifically pops to my head, like, at the top. I don't recall laughing so hard in my life that I did during that special. And guess what? He said a lot of inappropriate things. He said a lot of things that touch a nerve. And as always, a large swath of humanity has let me down, because if you go into the YouTube comments or the Twitter comments, you'll see people defending what Will Smith did. Hey, I get it, he's making jokes, but you don't crack at someone's disease. Tell that to Michael J. Fox. Tell that to Charlie Sheen. Tell that to the countless celebrities that have been made fun of and mocked over the years because of a handicap or a disability or a disease. That's what comedians do. When did we get so pathetically weak and sensitive? My God, how sad. I have a disease myself, I have celiacs, but I'm not gonna throw a fit if a comedian's up on stage making fun of a gluten intolerance. I would love to see where this line is and how we don't cross it. I mean, is religion on the table still? Because that's a pretty big deal to a large amount of people. If you go after their faith, that's, I mean, that's as personal as you could get. What about mom jokes? Remember, like, your mom's so fat? I love my mom! How dare you go after her, you son of a bitch! Whish! I'm off track, this is a rant after all. I wanted to point out the other part of that conspiracy though because people think this whole thing was staged. Why? I don't know, it's a really weird thing to stage, I guess just to get people talking about the Oscars and to discredit Will Smith's win? Because that's what it did. It really soured the entire experience going forward. But Chris Rock took that hit like a goddamn champ. I mean, he was like, boom! Recoil gets back up like nothing, he laughed it off even. Clearly, he was upset though. And then after Will Smith sits back down and starts cussing him out, that's when it really comes off the track. That's when the wheels are off and people are like, oh God, this wasn't staged, this was, this is real life. But freaking Chris Rock takes the hit and then powers through the rest of the performance. Commenting back and forth with Will saying like, I'm done dude, it was a lame G.I. Jane joke. I didn't think I was going to get hit for this one. Imagine Chris Rock who has decades of experience under his belt and the thing that sets someone off is a freaking G.I. Jane joke and it's Will Smith, a guy that's kind of cultivated this squeaky clean image. I remember Eminem telling us Will Smith doesn't have to wrap in his songs to sell records. Whoa. I didn't even know Jada Pinkett Smith had L.O.P. Peshia, but I found out that she was also kind of like, hey, we got to embrace it. We got to laugh at our, you know, our misfortunes. That's how we get through it. So even she was being a good sport about things before the event. Clearly she was perturbed when Chris Rock made the joke. I'm just saying I didn't know that she had this disease until this event happened. Chris Rock might not have either. Regardless if he did or not though, no excuse for what Smith did. For the people defending Will Smith's actions, maybe think again and turn to your good old Bible for support and ask yourself, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus go up there and slap someone in the face? I only bring up the God thing because I find it incredibly ironic that the people that are always ready to fight and hit back are the ones that are fearful of a sky genie and that they're not supposed to be casting the stones. That's for the big guy upstairs to judge, not you. And the best thing Smith could have done is simply used his acceptance speech to talk about his wife and say, hey, Chris Rock, I like you as a comedian. Didn't really appreciate the joke and my wife's expense. She's been suffering through a disease. It hasn't been good for her or our marriage. It's been tough, man. So that one hurt a little bit. You could make Chris Rock look small in that regard with your speech. In either case, this is ridiculous. This is completely absurd that he did this. But I'm just saying, the better approach if you had to get this off your chest and protect your woman or whatever and be a white knight would be to go up on your speech and say something. You had the podium. You had everyone's ears. You could have made a powerful statement then about comedians and how they sometimes cross the line and they have to be a little bit more respectful of people's feelings. Fuck that. That's my scolding hot take. Now I want to hear yours. Leave a comment below letting me know what you thought about the Oscar performance. If it was staged for some weird reason or if it was real and if Will Smith was justified. If you liked the video, punch that like, smack the subscribe button. These are poorly-choiced words to be using right now. And hit the notification bell so these propagate right in your feed. And hopefully, I'll see you next time. While I relive some of Will Smith's greatest musical movements. Just nod your head. The black suits come in. Nod your head. Now switch. Oh. Howdy in the sun when the heat is on. Na na na na na na dink da. I'm going to Miami. Welcome to Miami. The guy's got some good hits. Oh, the hits.