 Welcome back everyone. I know a lot of you got wonderful information from the previous, from the previous speaker. This next presentation is one I wish we didn't have to have, but unfortunately domestic violence has gotten even worse during this pandemic. The next speaker is Marta Palais. Marta is president and CEO of Family Violence Prevention Services and the Battered Women and Children's Shelter. So Marta. Good morning Kathy. Thank you very much for the invitation and good morning to everybody. I understand that we have people from the confines of the state of Texas and all over the nation. And even from abroad, so to everybody, a warm welcome. I would like at this point to join me, I know you will, in sending our thoughts and prayers to all of the children and grandchildren who have lost their mothers, their grandmothers and important people in their lives to COVID-19. Throughout this morning, my presentation, I will say a few shocking things. I tend to do that. But one thing that is not shocking is the fact that domestic violence and child abuse coexist. I have been saying that getting blue on my face. And I think we have forgotten some place. But at this point, I will say another shocking thing. And that is, today I am a person. In the not so distant past, I was not a person. Let me explain. While men were creating algebraic formulas and contemplating the stars and enjoying all the privileges of their manhood. Women and children had no name of their own. We had a dual existence, women did. One, as mythical entities represented in sculptures and frescoes and fables and other less ethereal entity, was the one that presented us as a little more than beasts of burden, necessity for men. Women had no voice then. Today, we raise our voices to continue to advance our right to fulfillment. We raise our voices to empower other women, which is basically what we're doing here today. Because we must recognize that in spite of many important advancements, we are still a long road to be traveled to get to a place where differences determined by our gender are equally respected and celebrated. I will go through a brief historical perspective to help us understand where we have been, where we're going, and if we're moving at all. In 753 BC, and please, I will not go through every year, Remulus, said to have been the founder of Rome, established that a husband could beat his wife with a stick of a caliber no larger than that of his right thumb. That was called the rule of thumb. Even then, they were wrestling with the issue of legislating weapons, you see. It is also said that the rule of thumb made it into English common law. And it is also said that that was probably not true. But what was definitely true was that the Roman civil law gave us patria potestas. Latin for patriarchy, which determined that wife and children were the property of the husband. Wife and children had no rights and their actions were the sole responsibility of the husband who had to resort to beatings, necessary to control their behavior and at the same time to assert his patriarchal entitlement. During the Middle Ages, theological writings supported the inferiority of women and added the view that women were susceptible to demonic influence and in need of beatings to diminish the devil's spell. The last two centuries have seen legislative and social advances. Some of them mere attempts at protection and empowerment of women, including the right to an education. That was a big one. In 1869, Harvard University opened its doors to women 50 years later than they had opened the same doors for men only. Alabama in 1871 became the first state to repeal the legal right of a husband to beat his wife. That is, if she reported it, if she was believed and if legislative protections had not been circumvented by an unofficial law, the Stitch Law. That was a way to condone physical abuse as long as the injuries did not need stitches. In 1920, women gained the right to vote for men. In 1960, big leaps here, big historical leaps. In 1960, state and national legislation passed the law criminalizing abuse of children and women, but many were in fact against it, saying that government interference in the family was in fact anti-family. By 1974, another circumvention emerged. That was the Curtin Law, where a North Carolina Supreme Court judge declared that, and I'm quoting, if no permanent injury has been inflicted, nor malice, cruelty, nor dangerous violence shown by the husband, it is better to draw the curtain, shout out the public gaze, and leave the couple to forget and forgive. That same year, 1974, the Credit Equality Act allowed women to apply for credit cards. I remember that, meaning that now we could contribute equally to the household's debt. We were able and allowed to have debt. In 1977, the first shelter for abused women opened doors in Austin, Texas, followed nine months later by the opening of what today is the Battery Women and Children's Shelter in San Antonio, Texas. The term domestic violence was not even coined yet. 1977, that was a year where a number of shelters opened in the United States, and that it is known to be the beginning of the domestic violence movement. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act was signed into law in 1978. Until then, a woman could be fired from her workplace for being pregnant. In very discreet ways, the practice continues in some places. In 1980, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission officially defined sexual harassment. Defining it was important, but equally important, if not more, was its implementation. That has taken a little longer. Also in 1980, President Carter declared March 8, the International Day of Women, one day out of 365. In 1990, then Senator Joseph Biden introduced a VAWA, Violence Against Women Act, in the Congress of the United States. In 1994, it became a law signed by Bill Clinton. In the early 1990s, stalking was identified as a crime. In spite of the fact that 90% of all domestic violence homicides had stalked and beaten before they were dead. The victims were stalked, 90% of them were stalked before they were killed. In 1993, marital rape became a crime. It is still treated differently than other forms of rape. Strangulation became a felony in Texas in 2009. Before then, it was just a misdemeanor in cases of domestic violence. Almost a decade later, in 2018, 28 women were fatally shot in San Antonio, the highest number per capita in the state of Texas. All of them, except for one, were shot. As a result, 63 children were left without a mother. Remember the rule of thumb back in 753 BC, where the husband was to beat his wife with the stick of a caliber no wider than the base of his right thumb? Well, we're still struggling with matters related to the caliber of weapons, knowing that 72% of all domestic violence fatalities are perpetrated with a gun. Weapons legislation, or the lack of it, directly impacts the lives of women and children. At our shelter, we have registered for six consecutive years the highest daily census in the state of Texas among shelters for victims of abuse. In 2019, in excess of 60,000 women and children received our services, including the perpetrators of abuse. Ten years ago, I saw the need to change the name of the Battle Women's Shelter to Battle Women and Children's Shelter, if nothing else, to allow the community to understand that the majority of the victims of domestic abuse are not women. By far, of course, are not men, though some men are abused, but they are children. The majority of the victims of domestic violence are children. Domestic violence and child abuse coexist. The 36-year-old mother that comes to our shelter, typically on a Saturday at 2 a.m., is brought by the police, accompanied by her three children ages 11, 8, and 6 months. That demographic represents the generational element that perpetuates the exponential growth of domestic violence in a community. This is a case that has stuck in my mind, not only because of the severity, but because it directly involves a child. The mother was kept naked in the back of the truck, allowed to go to the restroom at truck stops, and then back to the truck and clothes were confiscated so she would not escape. But naked or not, she one day escaped, and she looked for refuge at a friend's house. The abuser caught up with her. He scalped her in the presence of their 11-year-old boy, and the abuser forced the little boy to throw the scalp down the toilet. The woman recovered somehow with big scars, but I frequently think of the child. Children are not spectators in the presence of domestic violence. Children are directly impacted. A child who is exposed to a mother's abuse, being abused, is being abused himself. The psychological impact of domestic violence on the children is unique and different from the impact on the adult victim. The mother that is abused can get a divorce, can sever ties emotional and otherwise from the abuser, is understood if she hates and despises the abuser. The child on the other hand watches and hears his very own biological father or father figure verbally abuse, physically abuse the most important human being in his or her world, the mother. There was another case that I vividly remember as well. A mother was released from the hospital and arrived at the shelter, bandaged, both hands bandaged. She had been severely attacked with a knife in her hands, nerve damage in the presence of her three children. She was expecting a fourth child. It was the children who wrapped her hands in the sheets so she wouldn't bleed to death. It was the children who called the neighbors and it was the oldest of them, a 16 year old, who called the police. As I said, she arrived at the shelter, released from the hospital. The 16 year old was not found, but after a few days he had been hiding behind some bushes, holding the same knife that the abuser used to assault the mother. He wanted to do the same to the father. So that case depicts in very visual ways, and I apologize, the generational impact of domestic violence. Little babies are born figuratively with a blank social template under their little arm. Parents write daily messages on that template. By the age of 14, 15, when the teenage boy begins to explore dating, he will have a full book of instructions on how to relate to others. So in all likelihood, he will be demanding, controlling and aggressive. His little sister, following her own book of instructions, full of messages she received from her mother as a victim, will accept and consider as normal abusive behaviors from her own dating explorations. Domestic violence is not just one more issue in society. It is the most important and impacting issue in a community. I envision domestic violence as a concentric depiction where there are all these rays stemming from it. Child abuse, human trafficking, teen dating violence, teen pregnancy, elder abuse. The high number of incarcerated people, by the way, 92% of incarcerated men that are not incarcerated because of domestic violence assault, but for something else, 92% of them have experienced domestic violence and child abuse growing up. School dropout rate, the general rate of crime, they're all directly related to domestic violence and the dynamics of the home. Low birth weight is associated with verbal abuse. Neonatal death is associated with physical abuse to the mother. If we could remove, and I know I'm being eutopic, if we could remove domestic violence from the center, all the rays stemming off of it would fall and would find a path to solution. The 82nd legislative session, I believe it was the 82nd, mandated the creation of a task force to strengthen the collaboration between the domestic violence camp and the child protective services camp. I remember going back and forth to Austin for those meetings and impatiently realizing that I was coming back home empty handed. At that point, I called the regional director of child protective services at the time and asked her if she would join me in taking action. I could no longer bear to philosophize around the issue that domestic violence and child abuse coexist in homes. She agreed with me. She was equally concerned and really fed up with the lack of programming that would address domestic violence in child abuse cases. And we both agreed that she would send to our batters intervention program, all those fathers that had active cases with CPS so that they could receive batters intervention program. FVPS is Family Violence Prevention Services is a nonprofit umbrella under which several programs exist. We have residential programs such as the battered women and children shelter and non residential programs. Ten years ago, when I changed the name of the shelter to battered women and children shelter, determined the creation of programs that would address that unique, different impact on the children. And we continue to develop programs and to address the needs of the children in a parallel way with the intervention for mothers towards the end of the emergency crisis program. The two come together and other interventions begin to address the nurturing impact on the mother that domestic violence has. And we just say that 72% of mothers that we see agency-wide have active cases with child protective services. So that also determined that we have a position called CPS liaison that addresses all issues related to domestic violence and CPS while they're still active with that system. One phenomenon that has occurred through the years is that mothers are very much afraid of the CPS system and so therefore the lack of understanding of what CPS aims to do and the fear that it is for the intervention of CPS. So this person is entrusted with making sure that both interventions, domestic violence and CPS are integrated into one and that both work towards addressing the emotional needs of the family. So what is domestic violence? I don't remember defining it. Domestic violence is a progressive pattern of behaviors in a relationship where one member in that relationship seeks control of the victim through emotional, psychological, physical, sexual or financial means. Over time, all of these elements can be present in an abusive relationship, but it doesn't have to be any one of them as long as two conditions are met. Progressive and pattern. Science of domestic violence, it is a question that I frequently I get asked. So what are some of the signs of domestic violence? Domestic violence does not begin with someone putting a gun to your head. Domestic violence begins in very subtle ways with name calling, putting the victim down, eroding her self-esteem. All along, the victim is denying some of those behaviors, denying the impact that those behaviors have on herself physically and emotionally. I usually say that the biggest friend, the most important friend of the perpetrator is the denial of the victim. To simplify the signs of domestic violence, especially when it comes to teens, I tell them that in a relationship, there is an array of emotions that are expected to run through a person. But one emotion, one emotional response that is actually the test to abuse is fear. If the person fears the partner, that person, that fear comes from abuse. So I find that people understand that. So what is happening these days while COVID-19 is assaulting our communities. 17% to 21% increase in the number of calls from victims of domestic violence in the city of San Antonio alone, as Kathy said. So the numbers have gone up since we have been under the state at home order. The same strategy aimed at keeping us safe and healthy has created a situation of danger, increased exposure for victims of domestic violence who find themselves trapped and isolated in their four walls in the company of the abuser. The same, of course, goes for the children. Because as I said before, children are not spectators of domestic violence. Children are victims of domestic violence when victims of domestic violence is occurring in their presence. Let me talk a little bit about domestic violence. This is the program that batters intervention program. We intervene probably 2000 men a year. Some of them are mandated by CPS. And the courts also are referring these individuals to our program. We want to establish the difference between anger management and batters intervention program. Anger management looks at the environment to assist the perpetrator in controlling his behavior. The locus of control is external. In batters intervention, the locus of control is internal. It's not because he lost his job that he abused. It's not because the soup had no salt or too much salt that he abused. It's not because of other stressors. It's because he decided to abuse the responsibility and the accountability rests with him. So I hear the bell letting me know that it is time for me to open up for questions. So I welcome your questions. Okay, we have one that garnered a lot of votes for it. And thank you, Martha. As I said, this is a topic we all wish we didn't have to deal with, but we do. How can we support a victim who after utilizing all kinds of resources and support decides to go back to her abuser and the cycle goes on? Kathy, I have to say that nationally, 28% of women go back to shelters seven times. So that means it is not easy for that woman to sever the relationship. Many of them do finally realize that it is what they have to do when they begin to understand the impact on their children. So I would say that for mothers, that is a factor that helps them realize that they need to change something, that they have to do something because of the children. But it is not atypical for a woman to go several times to shelter. That is the recidivism rate. Nationally again, 28% here in San Antonio with our shelter, we register 7.43% of women go back to our shelter. Okay, another one, there are several comments recognizing how important child care teachers and the child care setting is important, how important it is for these children and we all know now with really good brain imaging how much of the brain is formed the first three or four years, which is when most of the folks on this event see these children. And you said Marta, when we were talking a while back about this, that there are wonderful programs for teen dating violence, but they're 12 years too late. So in answer to a couple of the questions, we are actively trying many of us to bring programs into child care centers that will teach social emotional kinds of skills that hopefully will be preventive of domestic violence in the future because I think we all do know and certainly the folks on this at this event know those are the years that are the most critical. So that's, we are trying that there are now middle school programs. The city is beginning. And that answers another question, but that's what we're giving any comments on those early years. Absolutely. Once again, if you remember the case that I presented today of the mother that comes to the shelter 36 year old mother with three children ages 11, eight and six months. The reality of the women that come to the shelter are have children in formative formative years, those critical years where the brain is developing. And when they are absorbing all of these dynamics that are happening in the home, that's why I say children are not spectators of domestic violence, but they are directly impacted. Another question that garnered many votes. Are there childcare settings or childcare settings that are part of that also have liaison with CPS and domestic violence? I do not know that there is such an integration in daycare centers. It's another conversation that you and I have explored so many times have had so many times. Badly needed that this information regarding the dynamics of domestic violence be spread throughout childcare centers. And that perhaps it needs to be the education needs to be standardized throughout communities to make sure that we all understand domestic violence and child abuse the same way. Hey, I think we're going to have to sell is another one and very important. How can we teach our children about abuse and violence? I say the earliest in their life that you can have these conversations, the better a little child, a three year old can understand that he or she must be respectful. And how he or she relates to other little children of his own age. It can begin that early on. It can stop you can stop the cycle of violence, the generation of violence by teaching the children having these important conversations as early as possible. Okay, thank you so much. I think we're going to have to end there. Thank you very much Marta and we will see you all in 15 minutes.