 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكريم المنزاله وأقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهادي ولا أتأوّاله الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته نبدأ بالنسبة always by praising Allah by asking Allah to exalt dimension and grant peace to our messenger Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions نمر نهتم with the theme of the mother of the father and in the previous episode we had concluded with the verse from Surat al-Nisa in which Allah said ورشب الله and don't make any partner with him and have ihsan towards your parents and we mentioned that ihsan here there are two very important things that we should take from it first of all it is general it covers every aspect of their lives and yours and that's because Allah didn't specify a particular kind of ihsan in the ayah he kept it general to every kind of ihsan and the ihsan we said it has two meanings we said that it can relate to doing a good action saying a good thing قول حسن وفعل حسن a good statement and a good action and it can also relate to exceeding the expectations and we said that from this we can take that we should be ahead of our parents needs we should be keen to do things for them before they ask for it and we said that really you can't say that a person who does what their parents ask them you can't really call that ihsan not from both kinds of ihsan it might fall under one kind of ihsan as in أحسنة you did something good you did the right thing but in terms of the ayah in which Allah said إن الله يأمر بالعدلي والإحسان وإيطا إذ القرباء that Allah commands justice and ihsan that justice is that your parents ask for something and you give it to them your parents require obedience and you obey them but ihsan is to go beyond that and that is that you look after the needs of your parents before they even ask for them and you avoid things that you know they would dislike before they have to express that they dislike them and إن شاء الله و تعالى we're continuing on with looking at بر الوالي دين in the Quran and we're going to move on to the ayah in صورة الإسراء in which Allah سبحانه وتعالى said و قضى ربك أن لا تعبد إلا إياه وبالوالي دين إحسانة إما يبلغن عندك الكيبر أحدهما أوكلاهما فلا تقول لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وكلهما قولا كريمة وخفل ذهما جناح الظل من الرحمة وقل رب رحمهما كما رب يان صغيرة and your Lord has commanded يقضى كمين حكمة أمرة that Allah has ruled or Allah has commanded وصى الله سبحانه وتعالى has established the command that you worship none but Him and as we said just like we said in the ayah in صورة الإسراء this is حق الله على العباد it is the right of Allah over His servants ويعبدوه ولا يشركوا به شيء that they worship Him and they don't make any partner with Him that is the right of Allah عز وجل over His servants and again here Allah عز وجل follows up His right وبالوالي دين إحسانة and have إحسان towards your parents and we've spoken about that as we said in the commentary on the previous ayah then Allah عز وجل said and if they reach old age one of them or both of them here the question is why did Allah عز وجل mention old age because even from the ayah which proceeds وابلوالي دين إحسانة there is no limit to the إحسان it's not إحسان in old age it's not إحسان when you are young or they are young or you are old or they are old the إحسان is generally in every kind of situation so why highlight old age here old age here is not highlighted in a restrictive sense in a sense that it's not restricting being good to your parents when they reach old age however it's because of their increased need when they are old perhaps when a parent is young they don't have as much need of their children they perhaps don't require in fact perhaps the balance is towards the other way the children are young and the parents are going through a great deal of hardship to look after those children when they are young but when they reach old age here is the malvinah the expectation is that their parents will need the children and that's why it is for an increased emphasis but not to restrict that means that the ruling here is not restricted to when they are old it applies to when they are young and when they are old but it has greater emphasis when they are older because of the expectation that they will have a greater need as they get older and so panel as we said many parents might be shy to express that need they may be even some of them perhaps they don't sleep at night perhaps some of them they cry and they feel within themselves great distress because their children don't do for them what they would wish for their children to do but they can't find the words to express it or they feel like they might hurt their children by saying it but this looking after your parents when they are older it's not that Islam restricts looking after your parents to when they are old but Islam gives even greater emphasis when they are older to the general emphasis that is given throughout the whole life of the parent and from this is the the side situation that we see and we know the Prophet you'll follow the ways of the people before you and we can see now that the tradition among the Ahad Kitab and among the people in the west the people of the book and others is to cast away their parents when they are old that once their parent reaches reaches a certain age they put them into a care home or into a place where they are away from you know where the child doesn't have to be burdened by the doesn't have to be burdened by their parents needs at old age let me ask you a question what would happen if you reversed that what would happen for the therapy of the child if the parent said I don't want to be troubled by my child when they're so young and they're crying all the time and they need food and whatever I'm going to put them in an orphanage until they reach 10 years old what would the child feel as a child how would you feel if your parents said I'm going to put them in a boarding school or orphanage or something I'm going to take them away out of my sight until they reach 10 years old I would say that it would hurt you as a child to know that your parents wanted to be rid of you then how is it when the parent reaches old age that people don't feel shy to you know to just say get my parents away from me just give them to someone else's care SubhanAllah and yet Allah as you mentioned the way that the parent looked after the child when they were when they were small so here's for the greater emphasis the need of the parent when they reach old age and Allah said one of them or both of them here the reason it mentions one of them or both of them is to clarify that the rights of the parents exist independently as well as collectively and what that means is some people might understand because Allah always mentions the two parents the mother and the father that they may understand that these rulings only apply when the mother and the father are both together or that these rulings are reduced in importance if the parents divorce or separate or if one of the parent dies for example if the mother dies and only the father is left alive somebody might say well perhaps the rulings are not so emphatic here Allah clarifies and explains to us that it makes no difference whether it is one parent or both parents أحدوهما أوكي لهم one of them or both of them فلا تقول لهم أف do not say to them أف أف is the smallest word or the smallest sound that can be made to express displeasure so for example it's like a tot you know when you tot at someone at the smallest thing that a person can do to express displeasure and Allah عز وجل mentioned the smallest thing in order to include all of the things that are more important than that من بابي أو لا because they are more deserving so for example Allah عز وجل didn't say don't swear at them and Allah عز وجل didn't say don't hit them and Allah عز وجل didn't say don't abuse them or revile them because all of those things are more severe than أف if أف is the smallest one of them then by prohibiting the word أف you prohibit every single thing that is more severe than it so that includes even the glance or rolling your eyes at them or even expressing displeasure or sighing like or huffing or becoming or any expression all of those are worse than أف so if أف is prohibited and أف is the smallest of all of the words that can express displeasure or that can be considered to be rude then everything else is included من بابي أو لا because it's even more deserving ولا تنهرهما and Allah عز وجل prohibited here ولا تنهرهما the meaning here of تنهرهما is أزجر بالقول it is to rebuke someone or to push someone away to push someone away in the way that you speak to them and that might be that a parent request something or ask for something and then the child speaks to them in a way that it's like they're reviling them or pushing them away in the way that they speak to them and this is you can draw a parallel in the statement of Allah عز وجل و أم سائلة فلتنهر as for the one who comes to ask you either to ask you knowledge or to ask you wealth فلتنهر don't don't speak to them in a way or don't push them away through your speech and here this وَلَتَنْهَرْهُمَ it even includes when they ask you to do something حرام because there is no contradiction between not obeying them in the haram and between the statement of Allah عز وجل وَلَتَنْهَرْهُمَ because when you disobey them in that which is haram because they ask you to do something which is haram and you have to decline to do it that you still don't do that which includes this وَلَتَنْهَرْهُمَ it includes this sort of reviling or rebuking or you know pushing them away in the way that you speak to them وَقُلَّهُمَ قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا and here a person might understand from that وَلَتَنْهَرْهُمَ that the best thing with regard to the parent is just to be silent and Allah عز وجل explains to you that even being silent is not enough that even being silent is not enough someone might say okay so I'm not supposed to make I'm not supposed to rebuk them I'm not supposed to push them away or make them feel like I'm driving them away I'm not supposed to say أف so the best thing to do with your parents is just to be quiet لا that's not what you're required to do وَقُلَّهُمَ قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا you're required to say the most gracious and kind and noble words to them silence is not acceptable silence is not acceptable rather you have to actively make an effort to say the kindest the most considerate and the most noble words to them even silence is not acceptable وَقُلَّهُمَ قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَخُفِضْ لَهُمَ جَنَا حَوْضُلِّ مِنَ الْرَّحْمَ and lower the wing of humility to them from mercy and that is that you show humility in front of them you don't show any element of pride or superiority or authority or anything in that way towards them rather you lower the wing of humility you show that a ذل you show that humility and that you are under their authority and that you respect their position and you show mercy to them and it's the humility you show to them is not from fear and that's why Allah is what I just said وَقُفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَا حَوْضُلِّ مِنَ الْرَّحْمَ Allah said lower them the wing of humility out of mercy not out of fear and he didn't say من الخوف he didn't say that be humble and be respectful and show that kind of humility before your parents out of fear out of fear no out of رحمة out of mercy so that should be the way that you deal with your parents and the way that you lower yourself and you humble yourself and you behave with the utmost respect and kindness towards them it's because of mercy not because of fear because of mercy وَقُرْ رَبْ بِرْحَمْ هُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيانِ صَغِرًا and from the rights of the parent over the child is that the child makes to our father parent and hear this to our that is recommended in Surat Al-Isra'a and say my lord have mercy on them as they رب ياني they did the tarbiyah they looked after me they did tarbiyah we spoke about tarbiyah already in the rights of the child they did tarbiyah of me when I was small the parent is what Allah has made the reason for you to exist on this earth and not at the minimum that a person can do is to make to our for their parents because ultimately they have to recognize that the reason that they exist on this earth after the decree of Allah is that Allah made their parents the cause for their existence on this earth and that's why even if a parent doesn't fulfill the tarbiyah of the child fully or doesn't do everything that a parent should do for the child that doesn't absolve the child of the obligation of بير الوالدين that doesn't absolve the child of that because ultimately the child can't escape the fact that their mother carried them on hardship upon hardship they can't escape that and that brings us to our next آية in which Allah عز وجزة نسورة لقمان وصينا الإنسان بوالدي حملته أمه وهنن على وهن وفي صاله في عامين أنشكر لي ولي والدي كإلي المصير and we have commanded mankind with regard to his two parents I have إحسان towards his two parents and بير towards his two parents حملته أمه وهنن على وهن his mother carried him in hardship or weakness upon weakness hardship upon hardship and some of the ألماء they mentioned from the hardships is the hardship of the pregnancy the hardship of the labour the hardship of the birth the hardship of looking after the child when they are small and then the hardships which come being a parent and the care the parents have for the child and the concern that they have for them all of these are reasons why we have to give our parents that utmost kindness in the way that we deal with them وفي صاله وفى عامين and that child for two years is weaned over a period of two years until when they finish two years they're weaned off the milk of their mother and onto the regular food وَنِشْكُرْ لِي that you show gratitude to Allah وَالِيْوَالِيْدَيك and to your parents إِلَا يَلْمَسِرْ to me is the return I to Allah is the return and here we brought this ayah to highlight the obligation of showing gratitude to your parents and thanks to them and this also brings us to that topic that even if your parent wasn't there for you in the early part of your life ultimately every one of us حملته أمه وَهْنِنْ عَلَا وَهْن every one of us their mother carried them with hardship and weakness upon weakness hardship upon hardship everyone every single one of us whether she was there after the birth for us and looked after us and took care of us or whether there are some mothers who were not but ultimately if you can't escape the fact حملته أمه وَهْنِنْ عَلَا وَهْن that his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness then ultimately you can't escape حملته أمه وَهْنِنْ عَلَا وَهْنِنْ عَلَا وَهْنِنْ that you show gratitude to Allah and to your parents and here again this way that Allah عز وجل joins between the rights of Allah and the rights of the parents and that's important that you don't neglect the right of Allah عز وجل because ultimately you have to thank Allah before you thank anyone from Allah's creation but when you thank Allah عز وجل becomes obligatory upon you to thank your parents عز وجل that you show gratitude to Allah and to your parents and again both parents are mentioned here and the ruling applies to one of them and both of them if there is only one of them alive then it applies to whichever one of them is still alive and even it continues after the parent passes away and we're going to come to that later on when we look at being good to your parents from the sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and being good to your parents is a sunnah from the sunnah of the أمبياء عليه الصلاة والسلام and that's why it is said about عيسة عليه السلام وبرم بواليدتي ولم يجعلني جبارا شقية that isa said that I am برن بواليدتي and we said بر is one of the two subject nouns that refers to البر that I have بر towards my mother and here he mentioned his mother because عيسة عليه السلام of course didn't have a father he only had a mother and so برن بواليدتي and I'm good to my mother I do بر towards my mother and we said بر it mentions all of the types of all of the types of good and we said it mentions بالقول و الفعلي well in fact by what you say what you do and what you spend and even الأمر القلبية the matters of the heart وبرن بواليدتي that I am good towards my mother and likewise from يحيا عليه السلام وبرن بواليدتي ولم يكن جبارا عقصية also in Surah Maryam this time ayah number 14 that regarding يحيا that he was برن بواليدتي he had بر towards his two parents and he was not جبارا عقصية he was not a tyrannical arrogant and he was not sinful as for the سنة of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم this is where we're going to get into some of the details as it relates to بر الواليدتي so let's start now just let's begin the topic of بر الواليدتي in the sunnah of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم from the حديث of عبد الله بالمسعود that he said رضي الله عن سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي العمل أحب إلى الله تعالى قال الصلاة على وقتها قال قلت ثم أي قال بر الواليدتي قلت ثم أي قال الجهاد في سبيل الله متفق عليه ابن مسعود he asked in this حديث يسر I asked the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم which of the deeds is most beloved to الله the exalted look at the hearse the keenness of the Sahaba to know أبواب الخير the different means of good he explored every opportunity for good he said which of the deeds is the most beloved to Allah the exalted the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم قال الصلاة على وقتها it is صلاة on time praying صلاة on time he also mentioned the other حديث الصلاة في أول وقتها the Salah at the earliest time ابن مسعود he said سبحان الله look at the keenness he said okay prayer on time then what is the next best thing that a person can do the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said بير that you have بير towards your parents excellent treatment and goodness kindness towards your parents and this is the شاهد here that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم after the Salah the deed that he gave and the most importance too was بير والدي and then after that ابن مسعود he said ثم أي then which one then the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said جهد في سبيل الله سبحان الله جهد في سبيل الله with its importance in Islam and the huge rewards that are given for example that حديث they talk about 100 levels that are prepared and yet بير والدي is better and was better in the site of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم than الجهد في سبيل الله with all of its 100 levels in paradise that are prepared for the مجاهد and so on and so forth and still the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ranked بير والدي to be more important than الجهد في سبيل الله so this is a matter really that you have to place it in its proper importance what we see is from a lot of people that we see is that people might become busy with المفضول and the father and this is from the tricks of the shaitan that a person gets busy with things that are less important instead of those which are more important so a person for example they say I'm busy I'm giving for example I'm giving or a person says I'm busy trying to help someone who is in need a brother who is in need or I'm busy studying for example and سبحان الله they might neglect بير والدي which is more important and better in the sight of Allah so سبحان الله sometimes you don't let the shaitan confuse you and we're not taken away from those other actions we've spoken extensively about the value of seeking knowledge and the importance of it and the importance of the for example ادعوة or helping the needy and so on but سبحان الله for a person to close the door of بير والدي and say that this is not important to me it doesn't rank high up yet it ranked number 2 after the salah in the list of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم so you really need to don't let the shaitan trick you and that doesn't mean we neglect the other deeds everything has a balance the prophet says he mentioned the jihad في سبيل الله at the end of the hadith and the prophet says did this and the Sahaba did it رضي الله عنهم but ultimately there has to be an appreciation of the value of بير والدي and that you don't take it that the or you don't allow the shaitan to confuse you and our man says oh you know yeah my mom you know she asked me for something I'll go do it later because right now I've got something and الله الله يعني what you do for your parents is more important as long as it doesn't conflict with the right of Allah as long as it doesn't conflict with the right of Allah so for example the farad prayer the farad prayer is the right of Allah it's a command from Allah سبحانه وتعالى and you can't leave the farad prayer for your parents you can't leave it for your parents to have a need or something they require but when it comes to a different matter so here we're not talking about ignoring the rights of Allah or minimizing the rights of Allah but everything has to be in its proper place and time but just the importance of its value in the religion of الإسلام and we have a a hadith from رضي الله عنه أنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا يجزي ولد والدة إلا أن يجده مملكا فيشتريه فيعتقه this hadith narrated by ألمان ألمان مسلم in his Sahih that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم he said that no child can ever pay back their father unless they find their father enslaved and they purchase him out of slavery and they free him from slavery سبحان الله this hadith just shows you the the great importance of or the great role of the father and later we're going to hear how the mother's role is even more important than that that a person can't pay the father back for what he did unless he finds the father in a state of slavery and he purchases him and he sets him free and one point of benefit I want to mention regarding this is that some of the people of knowledge they mentioned this hadith in the importance of conveying Islam to your parents and the reason they did that or the angle that they came from is that if freeing your father from slavery is the greatest thing that that child can do to pay back their father is to free him from slavery then slavery to the shaitan and slavery to the worship of other than Allah is even more deserving of him freeing his father from by the permission of Allah and it is it's more deserving and more important so for example a person finds their father to be a non-Muslim and then conveys the message of Islam to them and they become Muslim then this is it's more deserving than finding him enslaved and freeing him and it's a greater deed in the site of Allah and then freeing the father from slavery to free him from the slavery of worshiping the shaitan and the slavery of the nafs and the slavery of turning away from Allah Subhanu Ta'ala then this is something that a child should be very keen to do should be very keen to if they have parents that are not Muslim that they convey the message of Islam to them perhaps they might have a a nasib or a haath a part of what is mentioned in this hadith so that's all we have time for today's episode but we're going to continue Insha'Allah with بير الوالدين from the sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and we're going to talk about that Insha'Allah in the next episode and Allah is the best والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com