 Hello my beautiful internet friends welcome back. Thank you for joining me for what I think will be a very interesting video This is something that always fascinates me And I know a lot of people disagree with responding to comments that you personally don't think are particularly fabulous We can call them hate comments. I don't think they're hateful. I just think that they're unkind comments But one came in yesterday that I thought was very worthy of addressing now to balance things out We're gonna do two things first of all We're gonna play with some puppies and take them to get some puppuccino If you don't know what that is prepare to smile because it's a super super happy event for my little puppy dogs And secondly, we are gonna read five additional comments that are friggin fantastic that made my day and made me smile But there is one that I think needs to be talked about and so that's what we are going to do today But first let's get these puppies some puppuccinos. I'll be honest guys They're they're really good dogs and then they deserve some treats Do it. Oh my goodness You're gonna help me drive monkey you're gonna help me dry So I've got a couple good puppies here in the car could I get two puppuccinos by any chance? Yeah Thank you. Did you hear that puppy? I appreciate it. Oh, thank you back it up No monkey So if you don't know a puppuccino is basically just whipped cream because it's perfectly safe for puppy dogs Oh, you gotta wait you gotta wait and they love it Oh pretty good puppy We got some happy puppies and now it's time for the for the fun part of the video my favorite part personally the comments We're gonna start with with the fun one a Toast of espresso to you my lovely internet friends as you join me on a journey through a very fascinating message I received yesterday on a video that I posted Listen, I know I know that everyone says you should not respond to comments that you don't like But personally, I don't agree with that ideology I think that it's a good chance for communication for conversation and also to correct some negative Stereotypes some negative communication points viewpoints and this is definitely one of those for me It's not like it's anything like cuts me deeply when I read something like this But it brings up a very important thing that I think needs to be addressed If you are a subscriber of mine, you might know about the series I recently made a two different videos ten things I wish I knew before I became an amputee Side note if you are not a subscriber I would love it if you'd consider becoming one and help me beat my friend Erin to my goal of 200,000 subscribers before he gets there dang it, but those videos got a very positive response I really appreciate that there was one comment that caught my eye yesterday though And this is what it said actually before I put that up on screen a little bit of context If you haven't watched those videos, I will recommend that you take a look at them And I'll post them down below What I said in the video that this person has responded to essentially two things first of all I said that comedy humor has been really helpful for me dealing with his major life change like Making fun of myself my friends making fun of me making jokes about losing a limb Stupid foot puns like one foot in front of the other and I don't have a leg to stand on and just all of that stuff Really helps me deal with things and I said if amputee jokes aren't your thing cool But for me they've really helped at another point in the video I talked about a t-shirt that I made that said I can see you staring at me And it's kind of a joke right because when you go out in public and you're missing a leg and people can tell They stare at you. It's part of the game. That's okay. I've talked about this at length in other videos It's part of being a curious human however It does make people uncomfortable and I made that shirt as kind of a joke And I catch people staring at me and then seeing the shirt kind of being like I don't know what to do And it makes it fun for me. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. So context-given. Let's dive in So many a position making jokes to lighten the conversation actually horrifies me I see right through it and the hopelessness and horror I feel is real to me it feels like you gave up or you don't take your life seriously I know from your view this doesn't make any sense But you have to consider the fact you have on others. So let's pause there first of all I totally get that I think humor often does mask helplessness or horror I think it's a fantastic coping mechanism to deal with the craziest things that life hands us sometimes when we do feel helplessness or horror Those are real feelings underlying Comedy or humor that doesn't mean that we shouldn't use comedy or humor It just means that some people might not appreciate it. That's totally fine, too However, let's continue and digest this a little bit further Guess what I'm saying is it would be easier if you said it how it was and not sugarcoat it or Stay out of the public eye if you have problems with people looking at you That's some tough shit you live on this earth with others and you need to respect that I also realize that this is my interpretation and if I read something wrong, please correct me But this is how I hear what they are saying and the reason that I'm talking about this is because I think that there is a Very specific point that they bring up that is very harmful that is often perpetuated in our society They're high that I really think should be eradicated and that is the idea of basically Erasing yourself from the public if you do not fit the mold, right? So this person is saying they do not like how I deal with things and they don't like the fact that I have a hard time With people staring at me sometimes and I should really get the hell over that, you know, that's some tough shit You know, I live on earth with others I need to learn to respect that if it's hard for me, just stay the hell home stay out of the public eye, right? It is Extraordinarily frustrating to me when people try to tell other people who have experienced some kind of significant Trauma grief hardship fill in the blank how they're supposed to be to make other people more comfortable I've had a lot of experience with this in my own life as someone who has gone through a handful of pretty nasty things, right? Oftentimes in conversations, there's this underlying level of what you need to be to be palatable to other people and what this person is hinting at basically is I need to be aware that if I'm making jokes about my own situation my own loss of limb My own Difficulty literally my own life and my own body I need to be aware that it could negatively affect other people and for the record I absolutely am I'm not a jerk about it However, my primary concern is not how I deal and how I process with my own loss and my own grief Affects people outside of myself and my immediate friends and family that is not saying that I don't consider feelings and emotions But that is to say that I have absolutely no obligation To make myself more comfortable to you Let me explain what I mean by that with an example. So when I went through the sexual assault that I experienced I was a Basket case. I was a mess. I was not the same person I was upside down, right and a lot of people told me how I should be how I should respond what I should and shouldn't do Because I wasn't simple anymore, right? I was having a hard time. I was messy and a lot of people Needed me not to be messy and so they told me I needed to get over it They told me that I needed to get free of it They told me all of the things that I needed to be because it was fiercely uncomfortable for them to interact with a person Who wasn't okay to interact with someone who wasn't functioning in a completely societally acceptable Normal level and that is so harmful because you're telling someone who has experienced something significant That the highest priority in their lives should be making themselves fit other people's perceptions other people's molds and not Healing not figuring shit out not figuring out how to be a person again Not figuring out what they want what they need No, it should be become more palatable of people around you because you're really kind of making me uncomfortable With your depression or with your anxiety or with your jokes or whatever and again I'm not saying disrespect other people's feelings. Please understand that that's not the message here But what I am saying is that the primary concern when you are going through something significant should not be becoming more palatable to society I've received a small handful of comments and let me stress that I don't know how many comments I've gotten on my videos many many thousands I'd probably say well over a hundred thousand and there have been a handful of comments of people being like you you Shouldn't show your leg. That's gross. I don't want to see it So you should put it away basically, right? It's making me uncomfortable to optionally go watch your video So stop it. It's making me uncomfortable to see you out in public because you look different So you should stay inside it'd be easier for them if I didn't sugarcoat it And if I have a problem with that I should just stay the hell home. I absolutely respect other people's discomfort I respect boundaries. However, I am the one who has gone through something significant in this Situation right here right now. I am the one who has lost a leg I am the one who is trying to figure out a way to cope with life and pick up the pieces and figure out what a new normal is and Figure out who I'm gonna be in all of that, right? In this specific case in this specific scenario It is my job to figure that out for myself It is not my job to determine what is comfortable for you when it comes to me healing if it doesn't actually affect you Joking about my situation Sincerely helps me so I'm gonna keep doing it and if you watch my other videos You know that I also don't sugarcoat things for a long time going out in public made me incredibly uncomfortable because of all the stairs Occasionally it still does I'm still gonna go out in public and I'm still gonna be uncomfortable sometimes and those things are okay It's not tough shit. It's not suck it up and deal with it. It's I'm allowed to have emotions I'm allowed to have feelings. I'm allowed to make jokes about it I'm allowed to have a hard time and the reason I'm saying all of this is because so are you so often the primary concern When someone has gone through something traumatic or is dealing with grief fill in the blank becomes other people Because other people are uncomfortable. It's impeding on the normal cycle of their day Oh, you know, you're not totally normal and comfortable and this isn't something I'm a hundred percent used to So I'm a little bit uncomfortable Can you please go away and that's being said to people who have experienced significant loss the focus should not be on mild discomfort and Preferences when someone is trying to pick up the pieces of their life The biggest and most tangible thing that I mean when I say that is if there are people in your life Who are hurting or having a hard time or going through something big put your own discomfort aside only to a healthy extent Like don't let boundaries be crossed in your own life. That's not what I'm encouraging at all But if it's discomfort if it's something you are just uncomfortable with you're not used to you weren't sure of work on figuring it out Ask questions Don't ostracize someone or tell them what they should be or what they shouldn't be or anything like that because it's never helpful In my own experience in my own opinion I know people who have recently lost family members who have recently lost children and It tears my little heart out and it breaks my heart into smaller pieces Seeing the things that people say to them and how people interact with them if someone is having a hard time and crossing boundaries That's one thing if someone is having a hard time and is asking you to be there and maybe he's a little bit uncomfortable Maybe figure out a way to deal with your discomfort on the flip side of it If you are the person who is dealing with trauma or loss or mental illness or something large in your life And people are telling you who you should or shouldn't be or how you should or shouldn't respond Just for the purpose of making themselves more comfortable. You do not have to be that it is suffocating Trying to live up to the expectations of other people It is suffocating trying to be what other people need you to be when you were trying to survive If you need to make jokes about a situation make jokes if you need people not to make jokes Kindly request that they don't make jokes if it's you who's going through the thing or fill in the blank with whatever Coping skill or mechanism it is. I'm going to say this asking that you guys take this in the context of the rest of what I've said It is okay to make people a little bit uncomfortable and ask that they meet you where you are And they're welcome to say yes or no But you do not have to be what other people want you to be If you are experiencing something and the people who are currently around you Just can't handle it and through conversation and dialogue that doesn't change. There are a lot of people in this world There are a lot of other people out there who can provide you the kind of support that you need Not everyone is suited to be there for you always unfortunately However, the cool thing is that we live in an incredible world with a lot of people and a lot more people care than we generally think do So if someone is uncomfortable with you and can't deal with that discomfort for whatever reason Know that there are absolutely other people out there. So to the person who wrote this comment I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for sharing your opinion I sincerely mean that however without being said it never has been and it never will be my job to make You more in comfort with how I am dealing with a significant situation in my own life It's okay if I'm uncomfortable being stared at or being in public and it's okay if I express that and it's okay If I go outside anyways and now on to the actually fun part where I read five of my most favorite comments from the last 24 hours Let me just say these are five out of oh so many This community is truly amazing And I feel like any future video that I make about a comment that I want to say something about that maybe isn't Like entirely positive I should probably balance it out with all the amazing comments that people say because I try to like type Respond to as many as I can but gosh darn it. You guys are so amazing Uh, I want to give you some shout outs on screen And if I could like post every single comment in this video that I loved I would but that video would be like 27 hours long So here we go. This is a bit of a longer comment, which I love so I won't read the whole thing on screen But she writes it's a big major life changing decision and like you I believe so many things This jeez referring to our own medical stuff here. I believe so many things that I see are incorrect and would cause major issues So thank you for saving me from those mistakes. I don't think I am personally saving you from those mistakes But I truly appreciate you being a member of this community and sharing your experiences in your story here Simon L your comment made me smile. Mostly. I just I love the word badass. It just makes me sound cool So thank you. Keynew says an amputation. You know those are permanent, right? It's obviously a joke I thought it was really funny. Amy Lynn wrote a very sweet comment here. Amy. Thank you so much for your words And last but not least rock height man wrote I love your view towards humor. You are definitely a cut above the rest Do you catch the pun there? I certainly did a toast to all of you Sincerely, I read every single one of the comments that you guys leave. Ah, if I had time to spawn everyone I really would but please know that I see them that all of your words matter That this community brightens my day every single day and I really appreciate you So thank you. Thank you also to my incredible patreon community for all of your input for your help I'll posted a video recently asking for some input So thank you guys for everyone who's commented so far and if you are interested in checking it out Follow the link down below to join my patreon if you are interested you watching this video right now By the way, you look great today. Thanks for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today You could be anywhere in this beautiful world doing anything It shows to spend it with me and I really appreciate it. I love you guys I'm thinking of you and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys