 Be happy! Go lucky! Be happy! Get better taste! Be happy! Go lucky! Get better taste today! Lucky's taste better. Friends, LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Fine, mild, good tasting tobacco. There's no substitute for fine tobacco and don't let anybody tell you different. Yes, Lucky's taste better. Because their fine, mild, good tasting tobacco goes into the cigarette proved the best made of all five principal brands. Let me repeat that. Proved the best made of all five principal brands. That's not an empty claim. That's a fact verified by leading laboratory consultants. For example, Crawling and Robertson of Richmond, Virginia, who report, it is our conclusion that Lucky Strike is the best made of these five major brands. So don't be misled by double talk. Remember the facts. Enjoy fine, mild, good tasting tobacco in the cigarette that tastes better, Lucky Strike. So mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh with better taste in every puff. When you buy cigarettes, remember, Lucky's taste better. Be happy, go lucky, go Lucky Strike today. I'm starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Philaris Rochester, Dennis Day, the sportsman for ten in yours for only downwards. Tomorrow will be New Year's Eve, but Jack has invited the gang over today for his annual pre-New Year's celebration. So let's go out to Jack's home in Beverly Hills where we find Rochester preparing for their ride. When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back to you. Rochester, look, Rochester, I appreciate your singing my song, but my gang will be here soon. I want everything to be just right. How are things coming along? Fine, of course, fine. What about the eggnog you were going to prepare? Did you make it? Uh-huh. How do you fix that eggnog, Rochester? Just eggs and bourbon. Of course, I'm not much of a connoisseur of drinks, but that seems rather strange to me. I wonder why anyone would ever think of mixing eggs and bourbon. It's psychological, boss. Psychological? Yeah, you see, the egg makes you think you're getting something very helpful. Uh-huh. And the bourbon makes that fact unimportant. That's logical. By the way, Rochester, how much eggnog did you make? Well, I cut it pretty close. You're having five guests and I figured if there's a little left over, I can always take it to a party I'm going to tomorrow night. Good, good. How much did you make? Fifty gallons. Hey, Rochester, you've got a lot of... Someone at the door, I'll get it. So they took the wheelbarrow and went down... The first one here, come on in. It's a party in the afternoon. Every other year, you've had it the evening. Well, Mary, to tell you the truth, I have a date tonight. A date? With whom? Well, you know that pretty French girl, Helene Francois. You know who was on my last television show? Oh yes, gee, she's beautiful. Yeah, tonight I'm going to take her dancing. I'm going to Charlie Foy's nightclub. You know the supper club? You know what, Mary? This Helene Francois, she kind of likes me. Well, what makes you think so? Well, when I took her home in a cab, she kept snuggling up to me and whispering in my ear, vaux chavoux, c'est choc. Vaux chavoux, c'est choc? Yeah, I'll have to look that up. You don't have to. Why, what does it mean? Your toupee is slipping. Oh, well, at least she cares. Here's one thing, Jack. She's a whole lot nicer than that girl who used to go out with that, that glad-as-a-bisco. Now, wait a minute, Mary. Glad-as-a-bisco is a swell girl. She may not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she's got a nice figure. I know, but does she have to walk that way? Mary, that's not her fault. She's nearsighted, and she anticipates the curb in the middle of the block. So don't be critical. Now, come on, Mary. How about a glass of eggnog? Oh, sure, Jack. I, uh, wait a minute. Who made that eggnog? Rochester. Uh-uh. Why, what's the matter? Well, last New Year is, I tasted some of Rochester's eggnog, and the next thing I knew I was at the Rose Bowl. Oh, you saw the game? Saw it nothing. I was playing left tackle for Michigan. I'm kidding. How come on one... I'll get it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. This is Dennis. What time's the party start? Three o'clock. Well, what time is it now? About half past one. Oh, then I guess I won't have enough time to shave. Dennis? Dennis, why should it take you an hour and a half to shave? I haven't got the fuzz yet. It takes me three months to get a five o'clock shadow. All right, all right. Now hurry over here. Goodbye. Goodbye. What a silly kid. Uh, Jack, was that Dennis on the telephone? Yeah, it was me. What did you get here so quickly? Oh, I was on the extension in the kitchen. I would have been here sooner, but I stopped to get a coke out of the machine. I'm not having a glass of eggnog. Oh, boy, eggnog. That's for... Wait a minute. I ate it. Rochester. Uh-uh. Why not? Well, last year I tasted some of Rochester's eggnog, and the next thing I knew, Mary was playing in the Rose Bowl. Yeah, I know. I know. Now look, kids, as soon as we... Come in. Oh, hello, Don. Hello, Jack. Hello, Don. Hi, Mary. Dennis? Hello. Come on in. Don? Don? Somebody would take him out in a wheelbarrow. Don, would you like a drink? Now, wait a minute, Jack. First, I want to show you something. What? Look, Don, you're wearing the cufflinks I gave you for Christmas. Isn't that nice? Don, you can take the card off. Everybody knows who gave them to you. Well, I'm not taking it off. I want to make sure people know what a cheap gift Jack gave me. What? Jack, I've been with you 18 years, 18 years of loyalty and devotion, 18 years without missing one program, and you show your appreciation with a pair of lousy $1.98 cufflinks. What about appreciation? What are you complaining about? That certainly wasn't such a hard gift you sent me. What did he send you, Jack? A gold watch, a wrist watch yet. What's wrong with a gold wrist watch? What's wrong with it? You walk down the street wearing an expensive thing like that. Somebody sees it, hits you over the head, takes it away from you, and your money, too. That's what's wrong with it. Anyway, Don, let's shake hands and forget the whole thing. Okay, Jack. I'm sorry. I lost my temper. That's all right, Don. Would you like a glass of eggnog? Eggnog? Say, that's one of my favorite... Wait a minute. Who made it? Rochester. Uh-uh. What's the matter with Rochester's eggnog? Last year I tasted some, and the next thing I knew, Mary and Dennis tackled me in the Rose Bowl. Everybody comes in with the same... Come in. Hi, Jackson. Hello, everybody. Happy New Year. Well, happy New Year. Hey, Jackson, what's the idea of switching this party to a daylight affair? Don't you trust us with the silverware? That's not it, Phil. I'm going to a nightclub tonight. I got a date. With a girl? Well, what do you think? A horse? Put the oats are cheaper than orchids. But you found your place in the sun. Well, you can stop with those jokes and find your place under the table. I even put a pillow there. Now, would you like a glass of eggnog? Eggnog? Now, you're talking Bob Desley. Hey, wait a minute. Who made that eggnog? Rochester. Please. Would you pour a glass of eggnog for Mr. Harris, please? Yes, sir. Hey, tell me, Roger. How do you make this eggnog? I used one egg to five quarts of burgers. That egg was fresh. Phil, how do you like it? Hey, Jackson, what are you doing here? Now, Dennis... You want me to go in? I say you want me to go in, coach? Yeah, yeah, report to the referee and sing a song. Okay. Not to Charlie Foyes. Would any of you like to join us? Well, thanks, Jack, but I can't make it. No, me neither. I'd like to go, Jack. Good, good. How about you, Dennis? Well, sure, fine. Okay. Hey, Mary, will you give me a kiss when I take you home? All right. I don't know, Dennis. I'll think about it. Well, think fast, sister. I ain't blowing my dough for nothing. Or why don't you wait until tomorrow night? That's New Year's Eve. No, no, I never go out on New Year's Eve. Say, boss, why don't you do something different this year and go out? No, I'm going to do what I always do and spend it at home. New Year's Eve at home? Yeah, tiptoe up to Mr. Berry's room. Wake him up. He blows a horn, falls back on the pillow, and that's it. What have you got, Barry? 39, he says. Now, look, kids, I gotta leave now and pick up Miss Francois. Come on, Mary, Dennis, let's go. Yeah, I like it here at Charlie Foy's, don't you, Mary? Yeah, but, Jack, you'll never get a table. It's too crowded. Yeah, look at those people in that little room. Boy, are they jammed together. That's the coat room. Those are coats. I wondered why they didn't have their pants on. Fine, I'll get a table. Come on, Helene, voulivou, accompany moi, un tableau. Oh, the ambiance of the room is very interesting. I'm so happy that you invited me. Let's see, where's the head waiter? Oh, Garcon, Garcon. How do you do? Are you the head waiter? No, I'm wearing this flower in my lapel because I'm going to be a float in the rose. Fantastic, I'd like to get a table for four. Well, thank heavens you didn't ask for five. Why? I wouldn't sit with you for a million dollars. Get that out and get us a table. All right, follow me. Come on, kids. Here you are, folks. Say, this is a pretty good table at that, isn't it, Helene? C'est très gentil, chérie. Et nous pouvons voir le spectacle. Oh, oui, oui. Gee, what a crowd. Wait a minute, where's Dennis? Uh, right behind you, Montchallis. We haven't seen her. Oh, well, thank you, what a hat. This is Jesse Block, your master of ceremonies for the evening. The orchestra is setting up. I've got a little joke for you. Listen to this, Helene, he's going to tell a joke. Funny thing happened here in the club last night. You know, this is a pretty ritzy place. And last night I saw a waiter carrying something on a flaming sword. So I asked him what it was, and he said, a customary only left a dime tipping. Say, that was a pretty good joke, wasn't it, Mary? What joke? I was here when the fire department came in and squirted water on you. Are you having a good time, Helene? Oh, oui. C'est la première fois que je vois un cabaret américain. C'est si différent des cabarets parisiens. Mais il me plaît beaucoup. Je vous remercie mille fois. Oh, really? What she say, Jack? I don't know something about how badly she feels that Joe DiMaggio is retiring. What? I don't know. Well, I guess we're going to have dancing before the show starts. Hey, Mary, you want to dance with me? Oh, sure, Dennis. Gee, you're a swell dancer, Mary. Well, thanks, Dennis, but don't hold me so tight. Okay, say, Livy, have you ever thought about getting married? What? My mother will up my allowance. Then stop being silly. If you turn me down, I'll kill myself. Okay, but not too long, there are a lot of dames and nuts about me. I know, I know. Oh, yeah, name one. I'll be quiet and dance. You know, I'm so glad you're with me tonight. I am glad, too, chéri. You know, this is the first time I... Oh, Helene, there's a fella coming over the table who seems to know you. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, hello, my dear friend. Helene, oh, you're here. I haven't seen you since you were together on the coast of Azure. How are you, my dear? Wonderful. It's so nice to see you. Well, why don't you come back? I'll be here only for a few days, you know. Then call me. I'll give you my number later. Yes, of course. Of course. Goodbye, my dear. Goodbye. Helene, who was that? Maxi Rosenblum. Maxi Rosenblum? I didn't recognize him. The beret covers up his cauliflower ear. Imagine meeting a... They find me, folks, find me. Well, have you seen my wife? No, no, we haven't. Oh, well, thank you, and a half. Helene, look, there's the quartet getting up. Look at, they're going to sing. Look, sit down, kids, we better order something to eat. Oh, waiter, waiter. Yes. I think I'll have a ham sandwich. Yes, sir. Uh, Helene, Helene, what do you have? Oh, well, I'll decide. I'll start with a sandwich at the end, and then a ham sandwich at the champignon, then a salmoneer, a cutlet of your garden, and a green salad. What was that? He said she wants mustard on her sandwich. I'll order. I think I'll have crab louis. Dennis, tell him what you want. I'll have spaghetti louis. I thought that was the waiter's name. I'm training you alone. Senior wife. Well, if you ever do, you'll know why I'm drunk. Say, Mary, before we expose you and I have the knife. Oh, I wish they wouldn't do that. Mary, give me your comb. Yeah. So I take great pleasure in presenting to you that popular idol. Here's your comb, Mary. My co-star gave it with me. Take a bow. How do you like that? He even brought his horse. Helene, give me your handkerchief. Folks didn't come to hear me talk all night, so I just wanted... Pardon me, Mr. Dangerfield, but would you please put your autograph on this menu? Well, I certainly miss. I just want to wish you a very... Introducing a ham like Rodney Dangerfield. Come on, kids, let's get out of here. But, Jack, we ordered food. I don't care what we ordered. Let him give it to the horse. I'm going home. Come on, Helene. I wouldn't stay here for... Ladies and gentlemen, we have another celebrity with us tonight. None other than that very... Certainly. What are you mad about? Ladies and gentlemen, master of ceremonies, my worthy colleague, Mr. Dangerfield, and ladies and gentlemen, for a moment I want you to forget that I'm Jack Benny, that scintillating star of stage screen radio, and now television. I want to talk to you as one of your friends. I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you and yours and everybody all over the world good health and happiness throughout the year. And now I'd like to take a guess. Lucky's taste better. So mild, so smooth, so firm and fresh with better taste in every puff. Yes, friends, Lucky's taste better because their fine, mild, good tasting tobacco goes into the cigarette, proved the best made of all five principal brands. Let me repeat that. Proved the best made of all five principal brands. That's not an empty claim. That's a fact verified by leading laboratory consultants. For example, Foster D. Snell of New York City who report, In our opinion, the properties measured are all important factors affecting the taste of cigarette smoke. We conclude that Lucky Strike is the best made of the five major brands. And don't forget, LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Fine, mild, good tasting tobacco. There's no substitute for fine tobacco. And don't let anybody tell you different. So don't be misled by double talk. Remember the facts. Enjoy fine, mild, good tasting tobacco in the cigarette that tastes better, Lucky Strike. When you buy cigarettes, remember, Lucky's taste better. Happy, go Lucky, go Lucky Strike today. Ladies and gentlemen, sooner will be 1952. And I would like to wish all of you prosperity and happiness for the coming year. But let us all hold foremost the thought that 1952 will bring better understanding between nations and peace to the world. Happy New Year, folks.