 The Craft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeves. It's the Great Gildersleeves, starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Now let's see how things are going with the Great Gildersleeves. Yes, it's been a long, hard day. A long, hard week. The great man comes trudging home from the office and hardly has the door open when word goes out over the great client. Your uncle seems a little tired this evening, Miss Marley, so I wouldn't go cutting up any diagos. Uncle, he's tired tonight, Leroy, so watch it. You'd better beat it, Craig. Don't sound a war pass. Dinner is a silent meal. Marjorie is solicitous of her uncle's wants, and Leroy eats with cautious daintyness. After it's over, the storm cloud, which has been hovering over the dining table, moves into the living room. Gildersleeve flops down in his easy chair. For a moment, he just sits there, and then he begins. Where's the evening paper? Don found it. Where's the evening paper? I don't ask much of you children, but one thing I do ask. When I come home at night all tired out, I want the evening paper. You hear that, Leroy? Now where is it? You're sitting on it. Find place for it. Don't mind me, I'm nobody. I just pay the bills around here, that's all. I come home here all tired out. All I ask is to read the... UNO crisis looms, world peace at stake. Little hope in housing shortage, seen by officials. Riots in far east as Manchurian tension grows. War inevitable, says Congressman Rumbauer. Preparation our only hope. Weapons more fearful than atom bombs, seen by experts. Don found it. Turn on the radio, Leroy. Okay. Trouble, trouble, that's all I give you. I just won't read it, that's all. I just won't read it. I come home here at night all tired out. I sit down and what do I get? Trouble. I thought the war was over. It is of 1918 when the world held such hope for the future. I wish that I could hold out such hope today. I cannot. Yes, my friends, it's the old, old story. The story of man's inhumanity to man. Starvation, pestilence, fear and hate. Is ride the earth today like the four horsemen of the well-known apocalypse. Spreading the seeds of war. What's to be done about it? Wait and see, just wait and see. For we are caught in the grip of an atomic power that is greater than we are. Caught like rats in a trap. Waiting, waiting for that last awful moment. And it will come without warning, my friends, that blinding searing flash in which the whole world will be set free with it. Can't stand it. Gosh, it's only a guy on the radio. Well, I can't stand it anymore. Read the papers. People starving abroad, nations wrangling among themselves. It's just like 1918, only worse. And what can you do about it? Nothing. We're caught here like rats in a trap. I wouldn't say that. That's what the fellow said. I don't deny that he said it, but how do you know it's true? Pee-Vee, it was on the radio. It's always hot here again. I don't know, Pee-Vee. This international situation's got me down. Worrying about Russia, worrying about China, worrying about the British Empire, it's got me so I can't sleep nights. You keep on the stomach or on your back. What's that got to do with it? I don't see how you can be so calm, Pee-Vee. Why, the way things are going, don't you realize at any moment a bomb might drop through the roof here and blow this drugstore to smithereens? Let me know if you get a one coming. I don't understand you. I just don't understand your attitude. I'm going to give it to you. I'll tell you why. I've got a good store to run here. I can't run the British Empire, too. Oh, an isolationist. No, just a pharmacist. Well, maybe you're right, Pee-Vee. I'm so darn sick of the international situation, so darn sick of hearing about it. That's why you came down here to tell me about it? Well, it's time we had a little fun, Pee-Vee. That's what the world needs. It's a little fun. Well, I can go along with you there. Here we've been under a strain all these years. The human mind can stand only so much. Sometimes I think it's going to even stand by. You know what I'd like to do, Pee-Vee? I'd like to get on the old bus and fill up the gas tank and pile the family in the back seat. Just drive out in the country for a picnic. The way we used to in the old days. Sounds nice, all right. And by George, that's just what I'm going to do. Tomorrow is Saturday. I think I'll do it tomorrow, Pee-Vee. How about it? Care to come along? Oh, I think you'll agree. We're pretty early in the year for picnics, isn't it, Marge? Who cares? Paper says rain. Rain and colder. Let me tell you something, Pee-Vee. Don't believe everything you read in the papers. The ground would be wet. Too wet to sit on. Listen, I'm going on a picnic tomorrow no matter what. These fellas are going to blow the world to pieces while the kids and I are going to have one last fling before they do. I don't know why you get all the talk about blowing the world to pieces. Don't be a fool, man. All you have to do is read the papers. Here's a question for you homemakers. Can you name a food that is wonderful served in any course of the meal? The answer is crafts, cheddar, cheese, food. Valvita. Yes, it's one of the most versatile foods you can have in your refrigerator. You can spread it on crackers to serve with soups or appetizers, slice it in thin slivers to glamourize your favorite salad or serve it with fruit for a delicious dessert. And for main dishes, or as a sauce for vegetables, Valvita just can't be beat. It's so easy to make a smooth, golden Valvita sauce. You just melt one half pound of Valvita in the top of a double boiler. Then stir in one quarter cup of milk and there's your sauce. Ready to add rich yet mild cheddar cheese flavor to those vegetables or to dress up leftovers. Grand on fish, eggs, macaroni, and other Lenten main dishes too. Remember, Valvita helps supply high quality, complete protein, milk minerals, food energy, and vitamin A. So for a glorious cheese sauce for snacks and sandwiches for a half a dozen uses, yet genuine Valvita. It's the cheese food of craft quality. Now, what about the great Gildersleeve? Well, he's having his own way for once. That is to say, it looks as if he's going on a family picnic in spite of everything, including the family. Here they all are milling around the front porch trying to get started. What about you, Leroy? You ready to go? Me? I've been ready for hours. Well, you can't go without a sweater, my boy. I told you that. Now go get one. I don't see why I need a sweater. It's a perfect day. Perfect. It's freezing. It's not freezing, Marjorie. It's a fine day. Then why do I need... Because I say so. Get the sweater, Leroy, and comb your hair while you're upstairs. For a picnic? For a picnic. Now, you ready, Marjorie? I guess so. Do I really have to go on this expedition, Uncle? It's a picnic, my dear. We're going to have a wonderful time. But there won't be anything to do. There'll be plenty to do. Get outdoors, enjoy the sunshine. Get next to old Mother Nature. Then we'll have to build a fire and cook the hamburgers. Plenty to do. I don't enjoy housework at home, and I don't enjoy it in the woods. Well, in that case, Leroy and I'll have all the fun of cooking. At last, perhaps Mrs. Ransom would prefer to do it. Well, maybe you can talk her into it. Can we come home if it rains? It's not going to rain. I'll get that through your head once and for all. Now start enjoying yourself, confounded. Okay. Okay. I'm having a swell time. Excuse me. Do you want me to put the luck in the back seat? No, thanks, Bertie. Just set it down here. I'll take care of it. Well, nice and heavy. I thought you might need something heavy in case it rains. No danger of that. Oh, yes, sir. On a cold, raw day, there's nothing like a good, solid meal. But, Bertie... I'm coughing the thermos in case you need something to warm you up. It's not a cold day, Bertie. More injury don't stand there smirking. We'll see what's holding up, Mrs. Ransom. We've got to get started. I'll get this basket into the car. Hey, Aunt, we all set to go. Yeah, give me a hand with this, Leroy. Oh, boy, lunch. Yeah, lunch. Leroy, did you put something on your hair? Yeah, you told me to comb it, didn't you? What'd you put on it? Aqua-velver. That's for aftershaving. That's not for your hair. What a rush. You put water on your scalp. I don't care if you're bald at 15. Okay. Now, if I can get this luggage compartment open... But the dickens are all these newspapers doing in here. Newspapers? Oh, I guess it slipped my mind. We'll have to do something about that. I don't think... Get those newspapers out of there, Leroy. Okay. This outfit is supposed to be for wind in Miami, spring in Summerfield, or am I rushing the seas? Oh, I think it's just right, Leroy. How do you like my loafer jacket? Oh, I think it's darling. You look so careless and sporty when you wear clothes like that. Drop not. Well, I feel that way, too. I suppose I ought to take along a raincoat. What for? Why, the sun is shining. It was a minute ago, anyway. I'd never forget you if my place shoes got wet. In my shrink, the girl said at the stall. I'd like to see that. If it gets wet, I'll buy you a new one, Leroy. That's fine, Leroy. And if you'll go get your sister, we can start. I said go, Leroy. G-O. I'll just put the lunch basket in here. Come on. Leroy, you're in front with me. I was hoping I would be. Kids in the back. Come on, pile in. Thought we might drive off with those woods just the other side of Salinas. That's a swell place, huh? Yeah, a little stream runs through there somewhere. Birdie. Birdie, what does she want? She's got an umbrella. We don't need an umbrella. We don't need that, Birdie. You never said she'll be still asleep. Oh, well, grab it, Leroy. Thanks, Birdie. You're welcome. Have a good time at Parkable. I'm sure we will. Goodbye, Birdie. Goodbye. Goodbye, Birdie. Oh, hey, here comes Howard Tucker. Maybe he'd like to go with us. Oh, he eats too much. We'll need another whole basket if we... Hello, judge. Good morning, morning all. Where's the fire? No fire, judge. Going on a picnic. Care to join us? A picnic? No thanks. Not in the middle of winter. But winter is practically April, just the day for a picnic. April showers bring May flowers. Anybody can see it's going to rain. When do you ever think so, Howard? I most certainly do. Where are you going? Thought we might try the woods over by Salinas. Oh, that's quite a distance on your tires. Don't worry about mine tires. What's your bad place in a thunderstorm? I'm not expecting one. And if it should rain, it just so happens I'm enough of a sport so I can stand it. We all are. You said it. Oh, yeah? Come on, judge, make up your mind. A picnic or an afternoon in the law library? My mind is made up, thank you. But if you all come down on New Moon, you don't blame me. Yeah, we won't. Stand back, you old goat. Make way for the younger generation. Bon voyage, Noah. Woods, grass, little brook. This place has got everything. It looks wonderful. Only what about the no press passing sign? No, we won't worry about that. Probably the fella just doesn't want people shooting his chickens. Well, maybe we ought to drive a little further, Sarkmont. I'd hate to get chased off. Don't worry, Leela. If anybody tries to get tough with us, I'll handle it. Come on, everybody out. Get that luggage compartment open, Leroy. Ah, by George, I'm hungry already. Oh, why is that funny? It's the fresh air. Oh, it's a woolly, Leroy. It's almost time. Sure, what did I tell you? And it'll get hotter. Get 10 cents a bunch for those in Chicago. You want a hand with that chow basket, Leroy? Yeah. Well, take it easy there. You'll blow a gasket. You got the handle? Yeah. Here we go. Well, just put it over here. Yeah, please. Yeah, just the thing. Let you and me do the cooking, Leroy. What do you say? Give the ladies a treat. Oh, no, you don't now, boys. I want to do my show. So do I. I want to cook the hamburger. OK, then I'll do the fight. Well, then I'll get half the sandwiches and see that everything's ready. Well, well, happy little family. I think I'll just lie here under the tree. No, it's a funny thing. After I eat a big lunch at home, I don't feel like moving. Right now, I feel energetic. So do I. All right, Leroy. You burn up the paper plates, and I'll pack up the lunch basket. After that, I'll race you down with a crick. Ah, do you want to help me build a dam? I might, or even a hut, or possibly both. Take off your shoes and stockings, and come on in. Come on, Marjorie. Isn't that cool? Yeah, get out of the water, Leroy. No use overdoing it. Back to dry land, everybody. I feel the need of a little rest, all of it. That's all you need, Leroy, but come on. Don't go far, children. We'll have to be starting back before long. OK. What do you want to do, Leroy? You like to walk through the woods a little? Oh, I don't feel like walking or anything. I just want to lie here on the grass and listen to the birds. OK, that's good enough for me. Let's listen to the birds, huh? No birds. There must be some birds around here. Why don't they sing? Maybe they don't want to interrupt you. They're just lazy, that's all. They won't sing, they won't sing. Oh, they'll start after a while. Birds are shy. Yeah, birds are shy, yes. I never thought of that. I don't know if I'd want to sing myself for a couple of strangers. Oh, tell me a story, Rockmonton. I think I'd like that just as well as the birds. Storying? Mm-hmm. What kind of story? Any kind. Just so I like it. Well, I'll tell you a story about Jack the Minority. No, my father used to make me furious with that old Jack the Minority. Oh, yeah, so did mine. Just for that, you have to tell me a real story. All right, I'll tell you a real story, Leela. You have to shut your eyes, though. They're shut. Well, let's see here. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl with beautiful yellow curls, and she lived in Savannah, Georgia. Oh, I like this. And when she got to be about 16, she had dozens and dozens of suitors. All the boys from miles around were just crazy about her. Was her name Leela? Her name was Leela. Her name was Leela, and she was the toast of Savannah. Uh-huh. At the annual Cotton Planners Ball, she led the Catillion. Mm-hmm. At the Bull Rebel Festival every January, she was the queen. And everybody wanted to marry her, including the son of the Lieutenant Governor of a nearby state. Was he the one she loved? No, no, don't rush me. It happened that Leela's father was a very rich man. But he wasn't. Just listen to the story, honey. Leela's father was a very rich man, and he was determined his daughter must marry a millionaire. But Leela, what did she want? She wanted someone who would make her little heart go pit-a-pat, just by walking into the room. Mm-hmm. So every time a young man came round, Leela said to herself, maybe this is the one that'll make my heart go pit-a-pat. And she'd go downstairs to meet him, all excited, every time. But every time, almost as soon as the young man bowed low and said, good evening, ma'am, she knew he wasn't the one. Well, what about the Lieutenant Governor's bow? Oh, he was no good either. In fact, he was a little worse than the others because he was slew-footed. He-he-he-he. But he was rich, and he was the man Leela's father wanted her to marry. Well, sir, poor Leela didn't know what to do. She told her father she didn't love the Lieutenant Governor's son, and he said you can learn to love him, daughter. She told him she didn't want to get married at all. She just wanted to devote her life to charity. No, her father said, you've got to marry, and you've got to marry soon. You're 18 already. In another year, you'll be a disgrace to the family. She ran away. One night, she climbed out of her bedroom window with a few dollars she'd saved out of her egg money. And she went and bought a railroad ticket. And when she woke up next morning, where do you think she was? Why? In Yankee land. And she started walking down the street, and everyone turned around to look at her. She was so beautiful. And all of a sudden, while she was looking up at one of the lofty six-story buildings, a man came bustling around the corner and bumped into her, almost knocked her down. That's Yankee's father. He-he-he-he. But then he apologized, and he told her he was sorry, and asked if she was all right. And as he walked away, what do you think? Her little heart was going pit-a-pat. Wait, did she know his name? She didn't know a thing among them, so she ran after him. Oh, did I? Right down the street in broad daylight. He didn't know that, of course. But she followed him till he went into the building where his office was, and she followed him right to his office. And what do you think it said on the door? What? Then what happened? He went into his office and worked all day. Oh. But that night... Hello, let's keep cool here. Where's the... Is that a dog? Looks like a horse with fangs. Nice doggy. Oh, he's a fine doggy. Oh, get away from me! He was trying to kiss me. Is this your property here? Yeah. Well, we were having a little picnic. But if we've done any damage, we'll be glad to... Oh, no, no. Glad to have you. Well, like today everybody should be out here. That's awfully kind of you. Not at all. Drop over any time. Be fishing the creek pretty soon, sonny. Come on, Prince. Quite a dog. Stay home at five o'clock. I guess we better be starting home, children. Put the stuff on the car, will you? Okay. We were interrupted, remember? Interrupted? Oh, yes. Well, to make a long story short, Lila stayed up north and lived happily ever after. Did she marry the wall to come in? Oh, no. She found all Yankees made her little heart go to the path. Come on, let's go home. It's a bit of a fine day. Yes, sir, a fine day. I'm faithful old Tyre. Right rear Rosie, I called her. She carried us all through the war, children. She's earned a rest. Get the jackly, Roy. Jack more. Yes, yes. And there's another way to look at it. We've had a pretty good day. The paper said it would rain, and it didn't. That dog could have chewed my leg off, but he liked me. The man could have kicked us off his land, and he turns out to be a nice fellow. On the way home, we get a little blowout. Well, what better time for a blowout? Oh, don't tell me the spare is flat. No. What a day. Hello, PB. Have you got a three-cent stamp, old man? Three-cent stamp? Yeah, if you've got to have. Thanks. That letter here I want to get off. Now, make it an airmail if you've got one there. Airmail it is. Yeah, thanks. By the way, how was the picnic? Oh, PB, it was lovely. Just lovely. Everything worked out. It didn't rain. The sky was clear. The sun was warm. Really felt like spring. Sounds mighty nice. It was. You can forget how good it is just to be alive, PB. You know that? We get so wound up in business and politics, one thing and another. If you ask me, we don't know whether we're coming or going half the time, including me. The only thing you're the last man I'd expect to hear that from. Well, I did a lot of thinking today, PB. Guess I haven't done any of that in a long time either. I got the thinking while I was lying on the grass there. You know, it's a pretty good old world after all. Or it could be. And anybody who talks about blowing it up, anybody who sits by and let them start another war, the way they're talking in the newspapers. Well, here. I wrote a letter to my congressman. I haven't seen it yet. I'll read it again. Honorable George R. Rumbauer. House of Representatives, Washington, D.C. Now see here, Rumbauer. You call yourself a representative? Well, start representing. We just had a war. And we didn't put you in office to start another one. So get your big feet off the desk and get busy. Or have I got to come down there myself? Because believe me, Rumbauer. The Campfire Girls of America are celebrating their 34th anniversary this month and a proud record they've achieved too. Prey is certainly as due, the more than 360,000 members of the Campfire Girls who made such splendid contributions to war service here at home. The aim of the Campfire Girls is to perpetuate the spiritual ideals of the home and to stimulate and aid the formation of habits making for good health and character. Among the Campfire Girls, there's no distinction as to class, race or creed. These girls learn by doing. And since their beginning in 1912, millions of girls have been given practical training in citizenship and homemaking. They are America's citizens of tomorrow. The Campfire Girls need the continued support of everyone in the community, women and men alike, for youth is the greatest potential for the protection of the American way of life that we aim to preserve. Congratulations to the Campfire Girls from all of us. The Great Kilda Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. Good night. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Lee Roy, Marjorie and Birdie are played by Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson and Lillian Randolph. Shirley Mitchell plays Leela Ransom, Judge Hooker is Earl Ross and Richard LeGrand is Mr. Peabee. This is John Lang speaking for the Kraft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Kilda Sleeve. Attempting lunchbox suggestions. Combine tangy golden Kraft salad mustard with your favorite cream cheese and salad dressing. You'll find this makes a wonderfully appetizing sandwich spread. For another tasting treat that's sure to score a hit at lunchtime, blend Kraft salad mustard into delicious golden fillings for deviled eggs. And remember, there's also a mustard in the Kraft line for sharper taste. It's the Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Be sure to buy both delicious varieties. Get Kraft quality mustard on your next shopping trip. This is NBC.