 But that had to be a hard one for you. Were you down there when that happened? I got, I came immediately. You came down to the country. Man, do you know I hated that whole city for a long time? I feel so. I can imagine. Man. How did you get through it though, J-Daw? I ain't over here. You never got over it? I love the city, you know, Marshall. Yeah, I know that. Man. You know, getting back to it, man, like, when you think about, I think it was LaKeith, your cousin. Man. That was down in the country, wasn't it? Yeah. And I think I had Rory, yeah, Rory, that was down on 43, I believe. Yeah, that's the club called 43. Yeah, it was Bawana back in the day. He's been on here. The owner, I know all of them. My uncle built that club, meaning, you know, he helped build it. Do he know that that was my cousin? I don't think we talked about that. I'm not gonna lie to you ever, but I guarantee you, it's been a lot of stuff going on down there, bro. I told him he the only dude that I know that had Millie Jackson in mode three. Dealin' with Luke when he first came out with all them songs that he'd rap, where he had to get the parental discretion on the CD. You brought him and you still dealt with mode three. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. That is, that's a long way for people, man. What do people think when they come down there? Cause that's all the way in the country, in the middle of nowhere, it's like... Y'all don't hear me. You're gonna just say, nigga, you had Millie Jackson. In mode three. In mode three, you had Millie Jackson, two live crew, in mode three, you know what I'm sayin'? Some people don't even know who Millie Jackson is. That's crazy. So it's like, so, but that had to be a hard one for you. Were you down there when that happened? I got, I came immediately. You came down to the country. Man, do you know I hated that whole city for a long time? I can't imagine. How did you get through it though, Jadal? I ain't over it. You never got over it? I love the city, you know, Marshall. Yeah, I know exactly. Man, that was too deep there, man. Because y'all grew up, y'all was close. I know. They beat him in the head with those mellow ass, country ass, chills and shit. And so he was just down there at the party, like we, and we would be down there, man, so much. I seen so much down there. He missed females like him. Yeah. And I guess he had talked to one female, her dude came over and that's how it, you know what I mean? That's where it happened. Ain't gonna lie, I fought in there all night, said that's what we done down there. But it usually just was a scrap. Yeah, it usually just was a scrap. But for you, you know, to go back home, it had to be a long ride back to Houston, man. Man, say, I mean, my mama couldn't even, you know. How old were you this time now when all this happened? Man, I don't remember. Like in your 20s? Nah, I was way younger than that. Young. Oh, okay. 14, 15. Tell you, I started going to that club when I was 11. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's how I go down there. Yeah, that's, I'm talking about you. Country living. Yeah. You want to see no cars until you hit a certain back street. And it'd be all in the car for help. Don't make things like that. Yeah. Consider Karnak. Yeah. Karnak, that's what you mean? Yeah, it's Karnak. That's where it's at. Karnak. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. But at the end of the day, just I thought about that. I said I was going to ask you about that on the show. Because I know that he was so close to you. Yeah, that blew my mind. You know, he's so, he's a different breed of person, you know. So to get beat to death, you know what I mean? It's just, it do something to me right now, you know. Man. And you know, being one that, you know, like I said, again, I ain't gonna take it so it sits right there. So when it's something like that happening, it just sit there and wait on you to react again somewhere else. You know, we ain't tellin' no proper tools out of the deal with that. No, it ain't no. You know, they, if you go to a doctor, they just gonna call you bipolar and get you some prozac. You know what I mean? They ain't like you, you know. Man, and I hate to keep, but since I'm down there, Bear, man, he was a part of the Stumb Down. Yeah, he was my cousin. Yeah. And you know, Bear, Anita's husband was Anita's husband. And remember when we went over there, I sold him some stuff. I just, you know, I took stuff home. I talked to him and went right for what he passed. Clothing. I would go down there and I'm gonna stop by there and get him some shoes, some whatever they need, man, cause that's my people. So I was always gonna go there. Even though I had five stores out here, I still go home. I always go home. I even had a store in Marshallville a little bit, but I would always take something down there for my people, bro. Yeah, they don't have nothin' down my life. No, not like that. There was everything that's name brand and that's really nice. And they're all closed to sell. Yeah, they're all closed. Shit, they mine and have nothin'. It ain't nothing when they're open, it ain't. You better go to Walmart. But when you think about Bear, I wanna share some, just tell a Bear story, like rapping with him or just hearing him in. You know, that's my little cousin, man. So you know, his mama and my mama was so close. It's to the point where everything, since he was a baby, we've been around each other. So with Bear, even him tellin' me he wanna rap with him for the first time. Who the realest, who the realest? Who the motherfuckin' trillest? We eat steaks, findin' it, so y'all boys got the churro, I'm... It just, it was all amazing to me. You know, I'm like, dang, you can really rap. He's 65, I be givin' my dough every day I spend money so I gotta make mo... You know, and he used to trip me out. I just can't believe he did. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. That was a surprise to us, too. Yeah, we had just been out there. We had just been down there and seen him and it wasn't like he was safe or none of that stuff. He had told me the day before he had went to the hospital and they sent him home. Yeah. You know, so when he said they sent him home, I'm thinkin' you just sent home, you're already good. Now you're good. Shit, then they just wanted to get the car. Yeah, I remember. I remember, man. I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. His mom was like, what's my favorite, ain't it? Yeah. Maddie. Yeah, yeah. But we're losing these people that have been so close to you and they're not old. These are young people. Yeah, I was so in it. How does that mentally affect you and your life? I don't know. I don't know. All I know is most of the time I'll sit back a year from a situation and say, damn, look how it affected you. While I'm livin' it, sometimes I'm like. You can't see it. But I go three, four years without wanna be around nobody. Everybody, man, biggest problem with me is my phone. They're like, well, you don't see a phone. I don't know when that story'll happen. It's not on purpose. I'm not lookin' at it. It's just like I got so disconnected with phones and people and it was just like, I don't know. I gotta ask you about Mug, man. I gotta ask you about it because you did that song. Check it out if you don't love my motherfuckin' nigga. Stop sayin' rest in peace, bitch. Right? But the song, when I listen to it, it's like you really like angry. When everybody say he gone, and even though I hear it, I don't feel it. And they're telling me. About it. So man, forever in the day. You know what I mean? So man. It was like, it was like, man, you know, like you niggas ain't really, really. Cause it's like the praying hands scenario. Yeah. Like niggas just do that for fun. Damn man. Do you really pray for me? Try to move on too hard. Just pray every day Lord protect my squad. Where did we go wrong? Yeah. Yeah. That's like, when you see it, is you serious, you know? And it's crazy cause Mug, man. This just gave me chills. Mug, when he probably, probably a week before he died, you know, he was just going through it. You know what I mean? Mentally. I didn't know the answer. I was like, man bro, I wish it was something I could do. We best friends. Whatever you going through is in your head though. So it's like, it's nothing I could do because it's in your head. For sure. And he said, you can pray. And I don't remember what I said. You know, my answer to him, but it was a butt before. Excuse me. That blew my mind. So did you, did you get to pray for him or you didn't pray? Probably did. But I said something butt. And you don't like that part. I didn't know that. You should have prayed right then and then stop pulling it over. I didn't know it was that dangerous. Yeah, yeah. And then Mug ain't. Yeah. He's not the type, he's not the type that you would think would kill yourself. So, you know. Yeah. And I know you, you basically tried to figure it out with him for you to even be asking those type of questions. You know what I'm saying? You know, the words say, it talks about casting down imagination and every high thought that, every high thing that brings us up against the knowledge of God. You know what I mean? Like your imagination, your mind man, your matinoya, your mind can take you places, bruh. And if you ain't got something to combat some of the thoughts that come up, bruh, it gets real crazy. Yeah, I know it. That's the worst jail I ever been in. Bam. You know what I mean? That point, yeah. That's why I always ask about mental state because a lot of times people don't think about how different things affect their life because they're just strolling through life and not realizing the reason why I acted out, the reason why I can't keep a girlfriend, the reason why, you know, there's different things is because of things that you haven't dealt with in your head from past situations. I can believe that. That's why I want people to stop for a second and really, you know, do a mental check, so to say. I don't think I do that enough. I really believe that I'm tormenting them, my head sometimes. You know, it was a time, just recently, if I fall asleep and have a dream, I got killed every single time. It was no other dream, you know, and it was crazy to me because I was thinking, like, trying to make sense of something like this, it's hard, you can't understand. Like, you know, sometimes you try to figure out what is trying to be said, but it ain't nothing. You can't think of it. But just like at Jamaica, we always said, dream, don't walk straight. Me and, like, a lot of times when we dream about things that don't always happen exactly how we dream it, it's just like in the Bible, Jesus spoke in parables. He never just told you exactly this is what is going to be, blah, blah, blah. So even whenever I, you know, hear people talk about dreams, I said, there's a meaning behind it. Every dream has a meaning. It might not even be for you. You know what I mean? So don't take it to heart and feel like, some people will do like what she said, like dream that and be like, oh my God, I'm going to die tomorrow, I'm going with that. There's too much of that, you know? And they don't know how to live their life. They live their life in fear because of that. That's not living it all. Yeah, I mean, and the thing. That's not living it all. A lot of times we do use coping mechanisms, you know what I mean? Drinking, smoking, whatever we can to try to figure it out. And those things ain't nothing but pacifiers really and things that really, it can't take the pain away. Ain't no else. Ain't no, it ain't going to do nothing but pretty much, it can, it can lessen the blow. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But the blow coming, yeah. Yeah, you know where it's coming. It's coming, it ain't going to take it away at all. Just a mild cushion. Yeah. So what's the answer then? When it gets to a pump, that's what you're going to say. At the end of all that, and some people, that's the, they can't go no further. When they done did all the drugging they can do, and they done did all of it, still no answer. Some people can't go no further. Yeah. You know? That's real. I don't believe that was my partner problem when he killed himself. But you know, I done dealt with a lot of suicide. Yeah. And most of them feel like they did everything they could do. Tunnel vision. Yeah, they really feel like any, actually you can give them, they didn't win a, and they can't take it no more. I can't see myself doing it to myself. I think the answer is just putting all your trust in God and say, you know, God, whatever you have for my life, that's what I'm, I'm put all my trust in you because I don't know, and you ain't telling me. So guess what? I'm just going to walk by faith and do everything right according to as much as I can and keep it pushing. Like why are you going to stress over something? You can't stress over something that you can't control. Some people don't even know they can talk to God like that though. That's a whole challenge, opening up, being able to open up like that. It's because it's not easy, you know what I mean? Like if you think about it, a lot of times a brother, if you ain't even, you know, it's a place where you got to hit rock bottom or you got to always call it your three days of dying. Like you got to go through this spot where nobody can help you. You see what I'm saying? And all to even touch or either get, you know, to even touch or feel that spot where you talking about what you can start to change. That ain't even to change. That's the place where you just turn in the curve. You see what I'm saying? That's just the start of it. I don't even do that a couple times. Yeah, we on boss talk one on one. Yeah, we gonna talk.