 It doesn't mean that she's your girlfriend. Are we live, man? Where? What? Sorry. Who? Well, I've met. Episode. 39. 28. Eight. Fuck. I was 28. Two episodes till Matt gets his fucking new chair, by the way. Isn't that credential? That's credential as a misfit. of mine's boys couldn't come on this week. They're in Melbourne. They had a little opportunity in Melbourne, so we're gonna get them on next week or the week after. So it's gonna happen, just not this week. Matt Brown. Yes. Looks. I've got hair. Our website's fucking fixed. We're fucking figured it out and the videos play perfectly, Matt Brown. So shove that up your fucking weird looking ass. Show me whether it's on a date with Isla. What? Shall I wear this wig on a date with Isla? Are you still gonna do that shit? Yeah, dick. Oh, by the way. Have you been talking to any of them? Who? Any of you thing, toy. There's a couple. Yeah, chat too. Well, that's good because today we will be riding a top five. And if you... I don't wanna do that. Well then, guess what? You don't get a say any more then. I don't even... All right, Michael and I will do the entire segment ourselves if you don't wish to participate. And I'll have the first sippy monster, please. I like your shirt. Thank you, Flock Lin. Hey. This is gonna get... Don't mess any... I'm not here. Hey. Don't. No! Me, Michael, wearing one shirt, one pants. See? Big mistake. Who sent that to us? A fan of the podcast sent it to us. And I can't remember who did. And we wore this to... Court. To court when we got in trouble for kicking a goal at the AFL Grand Final. So fuck me, man. What else happened? Shit took. We're still setting the house up. It's fucking awesome filming here, man. I'm already on edge all the time. As soon as I enter this house, so is Matt. He's fucking terrified at night. It's so big. There's so many different angles for shit to go wrong. Yeah, you can sneak up on people real easy. It's just fucking fucking... You gotta... If you forget something in the kitchen, you need a passport to get to the other side. I'm on trip time to New Devils Hill. I like that. Michael enjoyed that. I like. Also, guys, we're running a comment competition, so we're gonna pick one comment at random out of all of the comments this entire season to win $1,000. We'll do it live, all right? So the more times you comment, the higher your chances of winning. And that's pretty cool. So this is us saying to you, if you put in the work, comment some stuff, just comment lots of comments, you're increasing your chances of winning money and that is entrepreneur. Fly by the night. Fly by the night, you dumb bitch. I've seen him. Anyway, we've got a jam-packed flele-clele coming up for you guys. We've got a line to lock you coming up soon. It's gonna be a tough one because the person who is lying to him is currently with him. Do you understand how difficult that has made things? But we have thought on our feet and we have come up with the solution. Hopefully, fuck me, can't. Surely we're not gonna get him six weeks in a row or whatever it is now. Pfft. Ah! Ah! Energy. And we also got a prank call. We got a screaming segment. We got a bachelor brown. It's all happening. Fuck off, shut up. These are the sponsors. Hey, take a seat and just sit down. You're nothing. You are nothing. You're nothing. You are a fucking worthless slice of shit. Worthless slice of shit. Dust, bit of hair, clothes on it. And you think, why me? Why me? Fuck you. Your album's a shit. Fuck you. Go to manscaped.com. Manscaped.com. They will stop that whatever you're doing there and turn it into something so powerful you won't even know who you are anymore. Wild Nights out on the town with women clawing at you because you are covered in manscaped shit. They got crop mops. They got crop cleansers. They got foot duster refined cologne and the plow 2.0. You can shave your nuts in the fucking shower and it's fucking waterproof and you probably won't nick your nuts like you do with other fucking chairs. You shave your nuts clean, clean and smooth. Then you put all nut, crop cleanser on, mop it up. Fucking dick. Get out there and fuck slide. Fuck slide. Go to manscaped.com. You want 20% off? For the actual 20 discount code. Have 20% off. You got to buy male grooming products at some stage. So you might as well have 20% off. So use that discount code for the actual 20. Fuck you and you fucking fuck it up. And women can have it too. Women can go there too. Also available for women. Thank you manscaped. You are true legends of the sport. And of course the other sponsor we are who and we are proudly sponsored by the University of Markle. All the bugs are fixed. It's a beautiful website again. We're upgrading the website in a few months. It's gonna be 10 times better. We post weekly videos that is, videos that fuck too fucked up post to social media. What are we gonna come in at this week? Brown Golf. Yeah. Is that coming out? Brown Golf comes out, is out right now while you're listening to this. Yes. And that's where Michael and Matt play me and James in a fucking golf and whoever loses each hole gets a fucked punishment. Fuck you, Matt. You suck at golf, you fucking dog, bitch. And don't give it away. Don't give it away. It's very, very 21 day free trial. See if you like the content. You don't have to pay in that 21 days. If you don't like it, leave free of charge. If you think, oh, it's made me laugh enough. I stay on because I have depression. I have severe depression and I feel down and out and I need a laugh. If that's you, have a look. Or any other sort of mental health. If you have a purely happy, bliss life, go and have a look. Might as well try and be happier. Yeah, that's, I guess, sort of like a mental health thing. So, do you, oh, are you? Hey, how you going? Matt Brown. Matt Brown. How are you? Oh, anyway, that's our sponsors. I don't know if, I don't know if, I don't know if we can cut this if we want, but I don't know if we, I want Nord back. I reckon just keep doing it and see it like, oh, nah. I don't, let's do half. I think we're, I think we're the best Nord VPN. People ever. Delivery of the sponsorship ever. They're just fucking like. But if they're too hard work, then. Yeah. Look, let's see. What do you guys reckon? Should we keep them on? They did say just keep it on for the money. Yeah, they did say that we have already asked them, but also they're quite difficult to work with. So bear that in mind now and let's vote again. Maybe that's some good feedback. Do we stay with Nord VPN or not? Yeah, they don't get back to the. I have. I have given them that feedback many times. Yeah. And if they don't want to change, then. I mean, that's a free world. You don't, we don't have to be a part of it and they don't have to be with us. Hey, that's real. That's real. Static electricity, dick. Hey, I've got some big news. Oh, no. I have booked a white crane. I've booked a pilot's lesson. Ah, nothing. Were you going to lie? Yeah, I was trying to. I was like, you've already you've already done all your lies. Yeah, I got I did get Matt good today. I double lied again. Thank you. I convinced him that Marty's phone didn't have a charger. Then he's like, that's a lie. I'm going to go get him a charger. Then I went to James. Marty does have a charger. He walked all the way up to the other side of the house, took him like 30 seconds and then I hear him go, oh, and then I hear him come back and he's like, there was no charger there. I was like, no, you also got me with. You said, misfit minds aren't coming today. I went, ah, and you went, no, I'm lying. I'm like, OK, that's good. And then I'm kidding. They're in Melbourne. So you can double lie. It's double lines like the new line. It's pretty awesome. And also Julian accidentally broke one of your cactuses today. Yeah, in a fit of rage. Yeah, sorry about that. That was my sort of fault because I stirred him up. I kind of forgot that I knew and now brought it back up. It was also one of my favourites, which really sucks. Yeah, that does suck. Well, you can plant that top bit that got snapped off and then you'll have two monsters. And also the top will grow more. But yeah, it just sucks. Yeah, it's going to take years to get that back. We did offer you a new one. We can get you a new one. I don't want you to buy a new one. I want you to save your money. You have a future. Well, I don't think you know. Sorry, Marty has a future on this day. Oh, hang on. Let me just check in. Yeah. Oh, there's a box here. I actually booked a ticket to Africa. OK. So all right, I've just I've just messaged our liar for this week. I just got to find out if now is a good time. We're just going to keep this ready because as soon as we get the green light, we're going to go ahead with the line to Lockie segment, which is a segment where we lie to one of our friends, Lockie, every single week and we have failed. We have not failed yet. It's the first. And OK, this, should we tell them the lie? OK, all right, guys. It's go time. All right. So what's the lie going to be? So we'll wait till we have Alex on the phone and then we'll explain it to everyone. Oh, man. This is fucking I live toilet and I'm all itchy. OK. Oh, he said, call me. All right, here we go, everyone. Here we fucking goes. That turned out I'm immediately nervous. Hello. Dude. Yeah, good, dude. Are you fucking we got you on the podcast now? All right. So does the merge call thing? You remember you? Does that sort of make sense? I hope this fucking works. Yeah, good. OK, sweet, because we didn't get a practice run in. So hopefully my phone doesn't do that thing where it fucking hangs up. But anyway, I am. Yeah, let's let's call Lockie. So the lie is going to be because we didn't we didn't anticipate Alex and Lockie bit like being together in Sydney around Jackson. They're down there filming podcast at the moment. So that's thrown a massive spanner in the work. So we thought we'll keep it simple. Alex is going to go to the toilet, call Lockie and say, there's no toilet paper, dude. Can you get me some? And now, even if that conversation ends, Alex, if Lockie's like, oh, OK, no worries. And then he hangs up, stay on the phone with us and keep us on speaker. Because as soon as you say thank you and he passes you the toilet paper, then that's when we start screaming that he's a fucking idiot. But if he stays on the phone, that's fine too. We'll just start. It'll just be more clear. We'll be able to hear him. Yeah. So if he hangs up, put us on loud speaker so we can hear us once it's all ring one. Yeah, not all good. And say sorry. All right, here we go. Alex, are you ready? All right, let's do this. You're the best, Alex. Chat in a sec. Here we go. OK. Can you get me some toilet paper? I'm just like, stuck in the toilet. It's above. It's above your head. Nah, like it's all gone, bro. Nah, I look in there like, you grab a roll. Nah, there was four rolls in there. Up in the mirror to the drunken body to the left. Wait, wait, show me. There wasn't four when I opened it. Sorry? Above your head to the left. It's sort of like half a million. Oh, wait. Yes, then. Yeah, so it's like this awesome, the one you are, chef. Yeah. There was two in there when I grabbed one, but only one left off of it. Have you looked above your head in the far left of the mirror? I don't know what you're talking about, bro. Can you show me? Like, just point it out. Well, you said above your head. Where? Show me. On my hand? Yeah. You been lying! You fucking idiot, lucky! I told you I don't. Fuck your retards. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He went all the way to the fucking bathroom, and Alex had the toilet paper there. You fucking wasted your time, lucky! I was just thinking as well. I was thinking, I was like, they haven't traced me yet. He was just watching something happen. Honestly, like 30 minutes ago, he was like, oh, isn't it like Money Michael's podcast day today? And he was like, oh, no, no, no, Thursday, tomorrow. I was like, oh, gee, he's gonna like figure out. Lucky, we will always be moving the podcast. Sometimes we're gonna film on Tuesday, sometimes on Friday. Hell, we even talked about filming on a Saturday and a Sunday, cunt. Sometimes, no days. So always expect lies, don't believe anyone. And I had a... I was about to open the door, and it hit me straight away. I said, this is it. This is it. So you knew in that moment that you'd been had? Yeah, straight away. I was like, this is it. I'm about to walk in, and he's not gonna be shitting. I was like, this is it. Oh, well, you got free to get in. Well played, boys. Well played. Well, if I can see you next week. No, I'm sure you'll sleep good tonight. No, you'll sleep good tonight. We got you, Gottfried. Don't trust. Remember, Lucky, goodbye and don't trust anyone. We love you. Hey, book like some counselling and shit. Just let's get the ball rolling. Maybe a flight to New Zealand, too. Yeah, I'll start landing. Yeah, cool. Fuck yeah. All right. Well, yeah, we'll talk to you soon, dude. Sorry. Stay with it, everyone. Be concrete, man. Thank you, Alex. That was perfect. That's all right. See you, boys. See you soon, boys. Bye-bye-bye-bye. Oh, God, that feels good to trick that fucking fucking fucker, man. We fucking try to him and he fell for it. And that's a joke to us. Oh, I felt so good. Yeah, it was good. It's good that he knew in the moment, like just before we yelled at him. He's like, no, I've been hard. Yeah, I would have loved to have seen his face. He's like, oh, fuck, it's them. And then, ah! Yeah, sound way. Imagine if Jackson fired him on the phone. No, no, no, no. Shut up, Alex. You're fired. And then we don't come clean. And it's a joke on Alex. Oh. Well, we could change it. We're going to have to change it soon. Yeah, we're going to have to come up with some reversals or some shit. Rehearsals. Yeah, we're going to have to do. We're going to have to lose. We're going to have to go wild. We might, you might, we might have to do that. We might have to go, oh, let's just quickly meet on a Saturday and just just record a car. A car. Yeah. Look at him. I can't look at you with that. You don't look right. It's Kla-la-la-la-la. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, on this day, guys, and on this day is brought to you by brought to you by Matthew Gregory Brown, where he goes and researches something that happened on history, on this day. In history. Yeah, in history. So it could be five years ago. It could be last year. It could be 120 years ago. It's all 100% true. Could it be today? It is today. Holy shit, man. That is so true. But in the past. On this day in 1996, Denzel Washington thought his daughter was a towel. He got out of the shower and grabbed her hand and started drying himself with it. He was singing extremely loudly so he couldn't hear the screams of his five-year-old daughter as he scalped her bit by bit. By the time he did notice it was too late. His daughter was completely scalped and she was dead. Denzel flushed her body down the toilet, took a few goes, and he had to really stomp hard as he flushed. To this day, he still used his hair as a towel. I forgive you, Denzel, and I stand up against racism. Watch me now. Stand right up against racism. I will now stand and raise my arms. And if I don't, that means my views have changed and I'm a racist pig. Matt. Matt. You have to. You wrote this today. Stand up. Matt. Unless... Hands up. Unless you admit to being a racist, but I know you are, and I don't think that you are. Yeah, that's what I thought. Have to have a hand. There you go. Okay, sweetie, he's done it, everyone. He did it. He did that. He did it. He gone and did it. All right. That's the strong... You're starting to really... That's developed. Yeah, it's personal. You're making it personal. And I enjoy that. It's recreation. Don't, Matt. Don't do that. Anyway, it's time for Michael's Bible. Oh, shit. Do you understand? Oh, man. This segment is where Michael keeps all of his wisest thoughts that he's had throughout his entire life. And shut up, Kent, because there's been heaps. Should we bring up what happened on the weekend? What happened on the weekend? The Bible? Did you see it? Was it floating again? We put a story out. We had the Bible verse. Oh, someone got... I can't believe I nearly forgot. Holy fucking balls. Some legend. Right. Got one of the Michael's Bible sayings from the podcast tattooed on his leg, like a big tattoo. It's like fucking... It's huge. Yeah, it's massive. So fucking legend. What was his name again? Yeah, we should probably... If you want to see it... Oh, fuck. I think I've forgotten his name. Could it be in our past stories? It could be in DMs. I'll see if I can see it. Oh, be in the stories in your highlights. Who said that? I've got to pick my... I feel like... I've got to work there. I've got to work there. There's archives. I don't know how to do this. On Instagram, he's TylerW724. I don't know. He hasn't posted it, but... A whole script on his story. He put it on his thigh. Yeah, about the here and there one. Very good. Anyway. Sparks. Anyway. Anyway, Michael's Bible. He's now a Beesus. So please... No more Michael. Chapter Neb Backwoods. If finders is really keepers, should keepers stop finding shit for the original finders to stop keeping shit so the finders can find their original shit? I get headaches and cry often. The dripping water disguises my tears apart from the colour. The colour is red. I cry red tears, blood tears from my period peepers. Get fucked off back up it bitch because I've been being B beyond B before Ben being behind Ben's being bitch. I simply must. I simply will. I will again. My name is Ben. Ben, Ben. My name is Ben. Ben, Ben. Wow. Anyway, fuck. Oh, I didn't... Yeah, that's the book. Sort of. We were just reading a text as well. Yeah, yeah. I can multitask. Fucking hell, man. That was actually... I learnt. Yeah, it's something. Something. I learnt. There's something there. Anyway, sorry. All right. I've also just... I took a photo of another diary entry I found of mine. Again, not in chronological order or anything. I'm just finding random ones. Run from the book. Oh, yes. Diary entry number 3487. The fuck is that? Don't do that. It's a fucking number in German. You don't need to be doing the drums and shit and stopping me in... All right, sorry. My motherland. Sorry. Okay. Believe it. Today we went to the zoo. We couldn't afford to go in, but we walked around the outside of the zoo. I heard an elephant and some other animals. I cried because I was so hungry. My favourite animal is the lion and mum laughed and said, that's a shit animal. It was a pretty good day. How does she say that in German? That was a shit animal. That's her crying at the end? That was her laugh. Oh, wow. And her neck was seven metres long. Wrapped around her legs. Shitman. Shitman Brown. All right. It's time now. We'll be right back with a man's black, black, black tar book. I can't wait to watch you two try and get up. Keep this in, Connor. This is going to be funny. You've got to take your headphones off, don't forget. Oh, yeah. Shitman. And we're off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of ours. You're being very clever, fish-nickle. Got a hole in my pants. It's clever, I clever, man-nickle. All right, guys. It is time for the innermost thoughts of one of the most twisted, deranged, sexual predators the world has ever seen. This is Matt Brown's black book where he is detailed every single sexual experience that he has ever had in his whole life. All right, here we go. Okay. Fuck me. I'm Clele Fish-nickle. As you might remember from last week, Hitler tells Matt how to get demon powers by having a demon. Matt then has Stephen Hawking's because he's the weakest demon. And then Matt has the demon powers now and should be strong enough to fight Satan. And he fucked a kid well. And he passed Hitler. Yeah. My mother's proud. It's important to remember that there's some sexual chemistry between Brown. Before we start, did anyone see the cartoon Hitler that got sent to us? No. All sent it here. It's quite good. Holy shit, it was a confession. Oh, it was on quark shift. Yeah, it's like a sexy hit. Your father's Instagram is beautiful. Follow quark shift Brown. Yeah. All of the Brown members. Which is Q... Is it Q U O R K? I think it's Q O R K shift. Yeah. Quark shift Brown. It follows the fully actual. There's Requifton. There's... Choir. Choir C H O I R. Choir is something else. Yeah. And Queston. Fuck Queston. Go and phone them all. Is there a Quifton? Yeah. Okay, sorry. Sorry. It's a look for a picture with a thing with like 25 tits. Anyway, let's get this over with. All right. Because it stills a part of my soul every day. I need a puff up. Asthma. Stand with me. Okay. Stand with me. Okay. You guys got to work in sync. That was... Oh, it's better than nothing. Hey. My whistle. I need water too. I can't breathe. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Here we go. He's just received demon powers. Okay. Fucking shut up everyone. God. Number 64. I stare at Julian's shocked face. So, Stephen Hawkins was a demon. And he's not disabled. And he's actually just really lazy. And now you has his powers. That's right, Julian. Now I have demon powers. I can try to have Satan. And then I can return to Earth. You know, it's just because you had demon powers. Doesn't mean you're strong enough to have Satan, you know. He's fucking hectic, aren't man. He's been shakin' for thousands of years. I walk over to Julian and place my hand on his shoulder. Julian, I have to try. I can't stay in hell. I have too much unfinished business on Earth. You know, if you fail at this, you will be burnin' in fire for eternity. I have to try. Julian places his hand on my cheek. I don't wanna lose you, Maddie. I'll always be with you, Julian. In here, I point at Julian's heart. Then wipe a tear off of Julian's face. We both lean in and kiss slowly with tongue. Then I gently kiss Julian's neck and see goosebumps appear on his arm. Oh, Maddie. We kiss some more. But stop before we lose control. We share a long, loving hug. And I say goodbye. I love you, Julian. I always have. Or, um, what's it called? Love you too, Maddie. One last kiss. And I leave the bathroom and try to find Satan. It's absolute carnage as I re-enter the party area. Everyone is in a panic. The music had stopped and people were running in all directions screaming. Satan is there and he's in the process of fucking everyone to death. I watched on a Satan split. John Lennon in half with one pump. Satan then grabbed a screaming Heath Ledger and set him on fire. Then forced his balls so far down, Heath's throat that he suffocated. Satan then jumped up high in the air and, leading with his elbows, slammed down onto the skull of Brittany Murphy. He then had a fiddle as she died. Everyone was running around screaming. I see a creature run past me with barbed wire wrapped around her arm. I chase it down and tackle it. What are you doing? Yelled the creature. I need your barbed wire. Fine. Take it. Shove it up my ass. What? No! Do it! There's no time! The confused creature nods and I turn around. Pull my hairs down and pull my ass cheeks apart. I stretch my asshole as far open as I possibly can. So far open that it nearly tears. The creature looks disgusted and struggles to look at my asshole. Stop fucking around you bitch! Shove it up my ass! Now! The creature is visibly shaking but starts to feed the barbed wire up my ass. The barbs catch on my ring and slice little cuts as they go. It's tremendously painful but I only have one chance at this. All of it! I need it all! The creature has its eyes closed and feeds the last of the barbed wire into my core. I let my cheeks go and they slap back together and completely conceal the barbed wire. The creature vomits and I see Satan finishing off a screaming David Bowie. I make my way towards him past the corpses that littered the ground. I have a grab here and there and they expose breast or cock. Then I look up and it's just me and Satan remaining. Everyone else has been killed for the day. We meet again Mr. Brown! How would you like to be fucked to death today? Not today, Satan. Today I will be fucking you. Are you challenging me, Mac-Bat-Grag? Be very careful with what you say next as they may be your last words. Ah! I sprint at Satan then lunge at him with my arms by my side and my head flying first. I slam into his chest and send him flying. Satan crashes to the ground. He looks confused and fills with rage. You have demon powers? How did you know? Hitler told me how to get demon powers. That German can't! I leap at Satan again and I curl into a ball mid-air. Satan is too fast and jumps up and kicks me like a soccer ball. He volleys me halfway across the party room and I slid along the ground. My soft body is covered in scratches and I'm disorientated. Then I remember hearing footsteps. Bang! Satan toe-punts my head with a run-up. The top of his foot connects flush with my nose as he kicks forwards and up. My creamy body again gets slung across the room from the force of the kick. My nose is now completely flat on my face and blood is streaming out. You have made a big mistake, Mac-Brown! I look up and see him storming towards me. He's too strong. Then out of the corner of my eye I see a gun. It was lying next to two-packs' body. I reach for it and grab it with my fingertips. Satan is now two steps away from me and he's holding his massive erection and directing it towards my mouth. I grab the gun and point it at Satan. Bang! Bang! Bang! I shoot at Satan's dick. He stumbles backwards. Oh! Oh! You shot my cock! I pull the trigger of the gun again, but it's out of bullets. His cock was bleeding, but still looked intact. It's going to take more than bullets to stop me, Brown! I stand up and start power dancing. I do a slap-drop and pop my hips from side to side. Satan is mesmerized. I run my hands over my milky skin and grab my own ass cheeks. Then, while I have Satan mesmerized, I quickly move forward and grab his throat with both of my hands. I squeeze and squeeze and my little Brown starts slithering around the back of Satan, searching for his dot. Satan snaps out of my dance spell and grabs my wrists. He starts to pull my arms off his neck. I now use all of my strength to keep choking him. Our eyes remain locked as we battle. Satan slowly starts overpowering me and my arms start to shake. I see a smile creep onto Satan's face and then my hands lose grip on his neck. In one movement, Satan spins my body and pulls me into him. So now he's hugging me from behind and I can't free my arms. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and he was crushing me. Very good, dry Brown! You have been a formidable opponent! I felt his massive dick part my cheeks and then I heard it sniffing for an entry point. Then, without hesitation, his dick shot straight into my arsehole. Oh! No! Satan screamed in pain. The barbed wire in my arse had wrapped around Satan's dick and was shredding it to pieces. Satan tried to pull his dick out but the barbed wire only sunk deeper into Satan's shaft. I felt his warm blood filling my guts and I started laughing. Satan was trapped. He could not go forwards or backwards without amputating his cock. It's not over until it's over my sweet, sweet Lucifer. Please, man! Stop this! If you free me, we can rule hell together! I won't ever fuck you again! I threaded my cock back in between my legs, then in between his legs and it started burrowing in between his cheeks. Stop this, Brown! I look over my shoulder at Satan to see his face as my little Brown enters his arse. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. My little Brown started swelling and spinning, getting deeper and deeper. I leaned back into Satan and pulled his head towards me. We share a passionate kiss as my reverse fucking starts to speed up. His tongue was hot and I could sense that he was nervous. He hadn't been hurt in thousands of years and now he knew I had won. Then finally, as we're kissing my balls contract and I inject my mints into Satan. With his dick in my arse and my dick in his arse I kiss Satan's face as I slowly watch him die. You have messed with me, Mr. Brown. I finish mincing and feel the devil's body go limp. My little Brown unplugged from him and he falls to the ground. His dick finally comes out of my arse with all the barbed wire still wrapped around it. I feel something strange in my head. They were horns. I look up and see Julian. Holy fuck, Matty. You're Satan now, cunt. Fly la-clay la, Julian. Fly la-lay la, clay. Fly. Oh shit. Oh my God. Fly la-lay la, clay. Wow, mate. That's been Satan. This is the house of Satan now. Is that what you're saying, Wally? Wow, Mat. You're evil. Lucifer. Oh, that was... I went through different emotions throughout that. That was crazy. I have a headache. Fly la-lay la, clay. That took everything that I had. I've only got one arm, so clapping that. All right, let's move along from that as quick as we can. Do you understand? I think so. Can you picture the way he had you? It was like Titanic fucking. You were at the front and you wrapped your dick in between your legs, under his and then into him. Very clever, Mat. That's good bending. That's shock fuck. You understand me? Anyway, let's do some screaming, all right? It's time for the screaming segment where we call any random business and we guess how long they're going to hang up because I'm screaming the whole time and that's all I'm doing. Thank you. So now I will call a business and scream as loudly as I can. What business? Yeah, what business? Let's go with like... What about a massage place? Yeah, well... Because they're actually quite quiet. Yeah, it's always 50-50. You never know what they're going to say. Yeah, all right. Let's try a massage place. So what do you guys reckon? How long will it? How long will it stay on the phone for? This could be like... 35 seconds. 26 seconds. 26. 26 seconds? All right, I'm going to go like 22 seconds. Oh yeah, by the way, if they last 60 seconds with me screaming, then I have to say to them, you win this time. Sorry. Sorry, sorry. That's my mistake. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, is my phone on private? Just got to check, sorry. Because I don't want to be screaming this person then. And then they say... What's going on in here, man? That's not on me. This is a new segment we call Can Bosley Get On The Cow? Bosley, go. Maybe let's keep him... Let's go to questions quickly. We'll come back to this segment. We're going to quickly go to questions just because we don't want to move Bosley. He's a happy boy. This is a treat. Oh, this is such a rare treat, everyone. All right. Oh, should we do comment of the week first? Yeah, go on, guys. The week is a segment where we pick a comment from last week's episode that we liked the most and we put it on a board and you're in the running to win another $1,000 if you make comment of the week. Let's just flash it. Let's flash it to people. Flash what? The board. Oh, it's too far away. Yeah, Matt will put you on that comment on a board. He'll probably do it on the very last moment of the season. We'll be on a board that will be at our house. So that's pretty, that's crazy. Comment of the week went to Dawson Hayes. And his comment was Matt Brown. Mercersley, mercersley. How's that word? Mercersley. Mercersley. Mercersley. Mercersley. He's going to ruin the whole comment. Mercersley. Let's change it to psychotically. Psychotically has every... Oh my God, there's so much in my flare. Yeah, that's a good comment. No, I keep going. All right. Comment of the week went to Dawson Hayes. Matt Brown, psychotically has every creature under the sun. Have every creature under the sun. Matt Brown also is petrified of a phone call with a woman. Yeah, that's very true. It's funny. It's a funny discombobulation of things. He's able to hunt them. And mercilessly be a predator. I can't say that word. But now he can't even, he's so shy. And if mid 40s, he can't even talk to them anymore. He's so... Matt Brown, everybody. 78. Dari entries, like explain how I got to him. Yeah, exactly. And they're, you know, like, wow, you were Satan, dude. All right. That's pretty sick. Not many people can say that. Sorry. That's rock and roll, bro. Sorry. Emily the Strange. All right. Top question went to... A.A. Fyrus. Why is the actual, in Marty and Michael, fully actual, not capitalized? Is it not? No, it's not. So in our, actually, when research is to make sure it was correct. So if you go to our YouTube, Marty and Michael, fully actual, the actual is not capitalized. That's on brand. That's a mistake. And that's perfect. That's why. Sorry. He also said General Flaylaku. Flaylaku. Yeah. Being more be, can you get fully actual trademark? Right. Okay. Yeah, we'll do that. How do you do that? We'll call for that. Let's Google it. Sorry. Sorry. All right. And that's it for questions. You've been scared here at night. Yeah. A few times. Matt's getting you. Matt's getting you. I think that's normal when you move into a new house. It is big, though. I remember, and you're here alone. It's just things walking around in the roof. There's a rat. We have another rat situation at the new house, which is very exciting. Yeah. So Matt's got, they've come back. The rats are back. They've must have followed us or something. Rat back. Well, maybe they knew where we were going to go. Back a rat. Yeah. It's like they came. But anyway, yeah. Hopefully there'll be some developments. So explain the story. You had a rat jump out of the bin. Oh, so last, this happened last night. I, what did I go for? I went to the kitchen. I think it was for water. Glass of milk. It would have been a glass of milk. And it's down the other in the house. The lights were still on and I like sprinted down there. Like top speed. And I think I was too, I was so quick that I caught him in the accident. There was a rat trying to get into the bin. And as I came around the corner, I didn't notice. I just heard it. And I was like, what's that? I came around the corner and he like freaked out. And so. And he started. And he started galloping towards me. And he was huge. She was like coming at me. And then just the last second he darted and we have a, we don't have a dishwasher at the moment. They were, they're going to, they had to repair it. So they're getting us a new one. And where the dishwasher sits as a little hole and he like, he like dove into that hole. So he knows around the way here. Yeah. Pardon. That answers your question. I have a headache. That was fucking good. You got it with me. That was good. I don't know which part. The part that, oh. See. He doesn't know. I don't know. The laugh. The laugh was good. All right. Next question is from Dean Moore. Question for the podcast. How many times has Michael cupcake Marty seems like Michael has taken over Marty as the chief father? No, Michael's just always, his, his farts are rare, but he knows they're rare. He farts more than you do. Oh yeah. Now utilize them. Just throughout our lives. Yeah. Michael was always been to one to trap his fart and, and want other people to smell it. He used to see, started with pillows. He'd do it on his pillows and then, and then offer his pillow to people to, to smell. And then it turned to a more aggressive approach where he would cupcake us and. Well, there's some like friendly wafts in the direction. Today you're doing some good. Michael is eager to share. Yeah. And James's are probably the best. Yeah. They're like organic farts. Yeah. Sometimes they're real tight. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. So next question is from JC Pablo. I was going to, the reason I brought this with this question is, it's not really a question. It's more of a statement. Dig it a high number of likes. He's just going to put it out there. We want Brown doing twitch, full fish net stockings, BDSM gear, playing the Sims. I could see a lot of likes. I don't know why I could see you doing that. I also saw a comment saying the black book. The people want the random ones back. I only saw one comment. Yeah. But it had like, like, like a fair few likes, like 20 likes or something. I don't know about that. We should do some research. No, I swear. Wait, look at me, brother. Look at me, brother. You fucking got my word. Come. So I know there's no choice to it because it's already written. But if you guys did have a choice, you prefer the storyline of the black book or the just the random ones, comment and let us know. All right. Sorry. If you could choose, it's hypothetical. Obviously it's written already. And I don't get much to say. Matt Brown. Sorry. Matt Brown. Next question is from Peter. That's what you sounded like. Yeah. That's exactly it. It's so strange. It's incredible. Look at Matt. It goes to a fucking office during the day. Corporates, corporate tending comes home at night and puts a wig on and wears Wally's shirt and talks silly buggers with his two 50 year old friends. It's a double life and that's for short. Oh, it's a double life. Brown town. Imagine if you went to wholesome like this. I'm thinking about what would they do if you walked into the office like that? I don't know about this. I'm thinking about just wearing the wig and going full serious about it. Look at how he's sitting on that ergonomics channel. He's fully like. It's so I can hold this up. Yeah, I know. Like, yeah, I can't wait to give you a new chair though because it's like, yeah, you've mastered that one now. It's only two away. Sorry, I think. Yeah, it is. Next question is from Peter. Hang on. Come on. You sound like... Yeah, that one did get me that time. It nearly did. Good. All right. What is the hardest part of your job? Oh, good question. Probably the relentlessness of it. Can't have a break because then people so quickly forget because it's such a competitive space where everyone wants you to watch their fucking video. So if you stop for a while, you really notice it. So you just got to keep fucking going into short career, long career. So you got to make the most of it as fucking much as you can. And that turns into big days. You got a lot of shit going on all at once. The body hurts. Yeah. And the physical pain, Matt Brown. You have no idea. You fucking milkman. Yeah. Yeah. M. Sorry. Look at Emile. I'm like, socks. Yeah. Our friend Emile is on my... Anyway. Next question is from Shana David. What's the story of Bosley? Is there any good stories involving the Bos? Yeah. There's plenty of good stories involving Bosley, but the story of Bosley is he was given to me by an ex-girlfriend. And then when I was like, what, like fucking 21? 22? Yeah, 22. 22. And then we broke up and she took him to begin with, but then she sort of didn't really have time anymore. And then I was like, fuck. Like, I didn't really even want him. I didn't really want a dog. I was like, it's like such an anchor throughout my 20s now. I'm going to be able to, like, just have another life I have to look after. It was fucking... It was such a fucking, fucking weird of a dog and he was a puppy too. So just never listened. I'd take him to a dog park and he would just run away and never come when I called him. So embarrassing when I was time to leave because I'd literally have to run him down and catch him physically and drag him out. Oh, wow. And while everyone's like looking at you, it's fucking embarrassing. That is good. So we've come a long way. Can you tell the little girl story? Yeah, and there was one time she would have been like six or something and she had little pigtails and Bosley was still a pup. I wasn't sure what it was. One and a half and jumped and his paws hit her back and he tried to grab her pigtails and she just fell forwards. Did he pull it to the ground? No, she just fell forwards. He missed the pigtails. Oh, wow. He attacked his vicious dog. But yeah, it's... Now look at him. He's the fucking... Look at this thing. He's the medic. Nine years now. I've had him from six weeks old to nine years old. Also, you probably grow more closer to him when you moved in with Pepper and Dave because they were very dog people. No, you just fall more in love with the animals the longer you're together with them. It's Klai Lai. It is beautiful. We love him and he looks after us. He is known as the medic. Now he gets... He's rewarded. I've promised him through all the shit times. I was like, as soon as we have money, I'm going to fucking feed you like a king come. And now let's die. You got him in the canal. Did you? Yeah, yeah. It's in your room. It's in your room. Let's see if we put the candle in Matt's room. I'd be happy for Boz to stay over a few nights. Yeah. He can be my protector as well as my medic. Yeah, yeah. He would be... He loves killing rats. If he saw that rat, he'd fucking... Yeah, he loves killing rats. Good boy. Good boy. Sorry. All right. Next question is from NY. If Matt needed a kidney, which one of you would donate one to him? I think we'd go half each. That's a good answer. Yeah. Half each. Put them together. Like super glue or sewing or what have you. And then put it in you. I'd eat. Mine, I reckon. I'd eat. Oh man, imagine that. Eating your kidneys as you die. Next. Oh. Oh. Imagine starting at your toes and eating yourself all the way up. I wonder how far up you would get before you die. I don't think... Oh. Trying to bite your finger off. How hard that is. Eating yourself. Imagine like you weigh yourself and then you've got to... Like then just like... Take a pound of flesh. You've got an hour to get high as much as you can off of yourself and you're competing against someone else. To save your own life. Wow, it sounds like a... Saw, a scene. That's Klaile Laila. I'd start running and maybe trying to lose weight running wise. Anyway, you have to chop off flesh. Next question is from the underdog and it's for Michael. Okay. Are you ready, Michael? Because we need the correct answer here. Question for the podcast. Why does Michael hate Star Wars and Marvel so much? Does he hate all fantasy type genre movies or just those two? It's like matter of opinion, but there is a shitload of people out there who would agree with me. Yeah, but why do you hate them? Oh. A shitload of people love you and a shitload of people hate you. Well, just like watch it and like see what I mean. It's shit. Well, it's just... I think it's what you grow up on. I think it's just what Johnny are into as well. Like action shit. Just find action movies very predictable and like they just... You know, chase scenes and gunfire and there's always a love interest. The good guy always ends up winning. It's just like boring. I find with action films because being a fucking film fan, the shit ones are shit and the good ones are good. Like action is shit. Like John Wick is great, but then like Bruce Willis films lately, shit. Bruce Willis. Remember when he was the best man in the world? Yeah. I reckon that's outdated. No. Yeah. I had 100% sit down with someone and say it to their face. Like 4.0 is like shit. Yeah. That's shit. I don't want to disturb. Yeah. I reckon don't... Yeah. Star Wars has destroyed itself anyway because it kept trying to make a movie each year, which is ridiculous. Now it's branched off in all kind of shows and movies. There's new movies coming out and new shows coming out in Disney. And I've watched The Doctor Strange. I've watched that. Yeah. So that's bad. So you've sat in the wrong spots. Give me that. No, no, I will hold it. I did Batman. I will hold it. I did the new Batman, even though it's not Marvel. I did the new Batman. And that's shit. The only good... They're just making superhero films for the sake of making superhero films because they know there's heaps of people that love superheroes. Superheroes are done. They're shit. We should make a superhero movie. Same with Star Wars. It's done. We could make a superhero movie. They've got to stop making it. Why don't we make one? Okay. We will make one. Why don't we make a superhero movie? Okay. I will make a superhero. I would love that. A spoof of superhero movies. What could our powers be? What would yours be, Brown? I'll be having... Seduction. That's... Superpower would be seduction. I'll be having... You'd be fucking your squirty farts. I'd be long neck. I'd be long neck fart. Long neck fart. My special power, long neck and fart. I'd be like the best NRL player ever. I'd be the best liar. He would just lie to everyone and confuse their brains. He'd scramble the senses. All that. So we're doing it. We're making a superhero film. That leads right into my next question. When are you making a superhero film? When do you guys get big enough? Will you guys ever produce your own or star in your own dirty Sanchez, Jacques Stoll movie? Yeah. I think we have to. It sucks though because like... I feel like we were far braver like four years ago. Yeah, we can just be like... But if we're making a movie, it'd be you guys. Yeah, and like we had like all day for like one stunt or something. I reckon we can make it pretty damn good. Oh, if you're making a movie, you're going to have all week to do a stunt. Yeah. So yeah, I definitely think that we should do that one stage in our lives. It'd be fun to do like activities. We'd be dumb not to. Yeah, like weird activities, overseas and shit. Even if it's not that good. I just think you'd be totally different to Jacques. Jacques have the stunt value. Well, I think you guys have a lot more comedic side to this. And I reckon we're better at more Michael in particular. It's way better at gross shit than they were. In some situations. No, there's no way. There's no way that they would be able to do some of the shit Michael's done. Come on, Michael won't even... Michael ate dog shit fresh out of a dog's asshole. Yeah, but what wouldn't you do the other day that I'd do? They would never do that. What they're trying to say is we are the fucking best. Very good at this. I think. Next question is from Lake McBogan. Why is it when you make those crazy vids with the little poop and stuff in them, the fans can't look away? Can you explain that? I think it's just, it's shock humor. You guys, if you sign up to the website, you obviously have our similar sense of humor. And it's just, it's just shock. It's like... humor. It's just funny because it's shocking and it's just so wrong. Yeah, I guess it's a certain taste. It's an extreme sense of humor, Matt Brown. Donut films pointed out that the Dole's name that you're asking for... Bishop. Yeah, I saw that. Thank you, Donut Films. Yes, Bishop was the man, is that Mannequin's name? So remember, you can send Bishop's shit and then we put it on. It's the new Requifton for Matt if we don't find it. Speaking of, we have to still decide the five. We have to pick the five. We'll do that right after this question. We're doing the five fucking Bachelor Brown. We're doing Bachelor Brown segment next. Bachelor Brown segment is next. Next question is from the last skeon, skeon depending where they're from. Is Brown trying to look like Austin from Charmys? Making memories? Yep. I'm going to go ahead. They are. Actually, I'm going to say that... Yes. Actually, no. Yeah, I don't think it either. If you shave Austin's hair and you have Brown, someone... Yeah, someone question Brown's mom as she's popping out YouTubers. I don't think we look alike at all. No, you are Austin. This is Austin. What the fuck, man? Look at him. I just thought of a great idea. You're ridiculous. Ask me at the end of the podcast. Okay. I've got a great idea. I've forgotten. You're Austin. Sorry. Matt is Austin, okay? We've been keeping that alive forever. Is that true, man? He caught us. Yeah, he did it. Fanny LaRue time. I just thought this was funny. He said, can you guys do a bong break and then explain the differences between the states and territories of Australia? Oh. Yeah, let's do that. We were cracking the shits about it the other day. Yeah. So we might do that. Let's do like... I reckon a cool segment could be... We do a bong break and then someone gives us a topic and we have to discuss that topic. Yeah, okay. It sounds like we're talking about new segments. Yeah. Exactly. Potentially, all right. That's a potential new segment. Potentially, all right. All right. And the last question is from Rael A. Snail. Yeah. When are you going to record Browntown reacting to your website videos? I think you've said that a few times that you wanted to do that. Yeah, definitely. We want to do that. That can happen now. Yeah. Yeah, we will be done. I don't really want to see some of those things. Well, sometimes you might not have a choice. You have to like support your friends. Don't you understand that, man? We're finding you a wife. You support by signing up to the website and supporting our content. We've got you a chair. Everyone's hates me already. We're upgrading the chair into... You're getting another chair. It's like we've given you a fuck thing. Somebody fucking sprayed me the other day in the comments saying, Matt's not appreciative of Marty and Michael. They're getting him a girlfriend. They buy him new chairs. And, yeah, just going listening all the time. Well, that's exactly what we're doing. Maybe consider that if everyone is saying this thing that maybe... Yeah, maybe it's true. Matt Brown, it is possible that you are being unappreciative. Maybe. Which reminds me, it is time for Bachelor Brown. Bachelor Brown, Brown, Brown, Brown. Bachelor Brown, Brown, Brown. He's right behind you. Please just look. He's right behind you. He's looking over your shoulder. He's always, always behind you. And this is a segment where Michael and I have taken it upon ourselves to find... Can you check out... A single brown friend here. A girlfriend. A partner for life because he can't do it. He's like in his mid to late 40s or early 50s, stumbling around like a fucking bag of shits and men, fucking around at home and fucking, fucking around and up. For just fucked. He is fucked. So Michael and I need to find a girl for him. For him. All right, so where's my phone? We've decided this, this episode we're going to just sort of... I'm going to try something. Oh, okay, this is good. Can you pass me my phone? Is it on the ground? Can you pass the whiteboard too? Don't worry, okay? There's just trust us. It's his next level of wife. You're going to find the wife. Is my phone on the ground? I can't move because Bosley's on me. He's not moving. We're not doing the screaming segment if Bosley doesn't get up. Just trust me. Hello, this is Greg. Hey, Greg. You are on the Mighty Michael fully actual podcast. And sitting with me, I have a very eligible bachelor. Matthew Gregory Brown. Now Matthew would love to get to know you and have a chat with you. Just to see if there's some chemistry there. And then Michael and I will organize and pay for the most premium of dates, Mr. Greg. Come on, Greg. All right, so we're going to let you guys just have a chat and see what happens, see what starts. Are you guys that desperate for people tonight? You had to call me. Greg, what the fuck are you talking about? You agree with me. I hate the fact that he just said, I'm desperate at you. Ask Greg a question. Greg, get ready. Actually, no, see, Greg, I'm kind of into. See? Because of dad. Yeah, it reminds me of dad. It's the name. And he's got a tennis court. Matt, Greg, dad. Daddy problems and I'm the guy. How are you? How are you, Greg? I'm good. Flirt, flirt with each other. This is a lot further than you normally get in most of these dates. Yeah, I've got this spur of confidence all of a sudden. I think it's my new hair. Yeah, this is going well. Where about some Brisbane are you from? Ask him about sex. Ask him about sex. Where in Brisbane are you from, Greg? Ask him about sex. Samford. Oh, that's not too far from here. Pretty close to where you actually live right now, to be honest. Have you come round to the new place? What? I've actually been in your bedroom today. I've been in your bedroom. What were you doing in my bedroom? What, Greg, sex? I got to and around your beautiful pants and your bedroom today. You gave him a tour. Dude, I'm so sorry. I haven't finished unpacking. He hasn't finished unpacking. I'm more emotionally quite embarrassed about that. What, sex? Oh, don't be embarrassed. Greg. What are you saying in the background? What, sex with Greg? Matt wants to know what your favourite positions are and what you'd like to bend him into. A U-shape. A U-shape and then fuck down at the curve of it. Um, Greg. Any position at all fit, to be honest. Greg, if we go out to dinner, where would you like to go? Probably, like... Anywhere you want, Greg. Yeah, anywhere, man. If you want sex. What, sex? I like to eat a lot. Greg, you can go fine dining and just order as much as you want. Nobody likes fine dining. It's on me. If you like fine dining, you're a fuckwit. I'm just going off what's the most expensive. No, I know what Matt knows. Yeah, me and Greg are going to go, we're going to go to Tyre Carandale. Then we're going to play some games of Timezone. I'm going to win him a teddy bear from the Big Skill Tessa and we're going to skip off into the distance. All right. That's it. That's it. That's it. That is the date that I want to go on. And then what happens? Can you pay for that, Marty and Michael? We'll pay for it. Boys, if you organise this date, I promise you. You have to agree to move in, though, together. And you have to consider. You don't have to say yes. You have to consider a very light kiss on the lips at the end of the date. You have to spend the weekend at the house with me. I'll consider that. There's spare rooms. You don't have to have sex. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. Better than a bad play after the day. No. He's not at all what do you mean? He fucking hates mums. He gets so annoyed. When the women have fear, he fucking hates it. When we were doing the inspection of the house, I thought I was doing well with the child that was here. Clems child. I'm, well, I've been hanging out with a child recently and I found a really enjoy hanging out with her. Two years ago, what the fuck is that? I'm not dead, I'm not dead. So yeah, I would like to spend some time with your kids. Greg, maybe don't bring them over. I want to see your kids. Yeah, I mean. I've got some goalposts. I mean, I might just have to ask my wife, but like Papa Matt is probably going to be awkward. Oh, I sweet. Yeah, that should be all right. It sounds like at least 6% there. I can't see anything going wrong. Greg and Matt, Greg and Matt, honestly. We're together. If you guys organize a date, I promise you we will pay for this. Promise? Yeah, I promise. Of a gentleman to you. Oh, I've got a pinky promise, Greg. We're going on a fucking date. Can I please have, like, so he's Greg's number one. We can decide that. No, no, we'll decide that after this. We'll just see if there's any more chemistry. Oh, all right. What are you thinking right now, Matt? I'm thinking your immediate time zone is going to be so much fun. Oh, yeah. I'm actually good. Remember when we ran into a time zone accidentally? Imagine if Matt tried to fuck you, like, actually tried to fuck you. Really? No, imagine if he did after this date. How would you react if he all of a sudden he'd just like, oh, anyway, I'll see you later, mate. And then he sort of, like, comes in a bit too uncomfortably close and then, like, sort of puts his arm around you a bit and you're like, what are you doing, Matt? What are you doing? And then, oh, nothing. I'm ashamed to be. And then he grabs your shirt and pulls you towards him and then says, come, just stay for another drink. Yeah. What are you doing that instance? Look, ah, put me on the spot, but I don't see where I'm at. I don't see where I'm at. Oh, my God, they're going to have sex. Matt, Greg, and Greg Matt. Greg's quite flirty when he wants to be, isn't he? Yeah. If he wins me a toy, then, yeah. It's definitely a kiss at the end of the night. It'll be something. That's something. Well, that's very, very precious. I really, I really hope that Chris and Lester did his podcast. I really hope that's his wife. That's his wife. And all my other friends, I hope they all listen to it. We'll promote it as much as we can, Mr. Gregory Smith on Facebook. Oh, no. You better wear a tennis-related. Nappy. Nappy on our diet. Because he's going to have his balls floating around in it. You'll have to soak it up with something. Anyway, thank you for the date, Greg. We've appreciate it. And yeah, like, you know how to contact Matt. I can give you his number if you want. You guys can text and just see if there's any chemistry. I know where he lives. You already followed each other once again. All right, well, there you go. All right, well, boys, I hope you hit it off. And yeah, let's fingers crossed, eh? Let's shut it in for a kiss. I really appreciate your thoughts and the call. Thank you so much. Thank you very much, Mr. Greg. And we'll see you smooth. No, no. I appreciate it. Thank you. See you smooth. Love you, Matt. See you, Greg. Love you, Brown. Thanks for calling. Where's the phone, Brown? Is it somewhere? I have no idea. That was very, very. You just rang him on that. Oh, here it is. Here it is. It's in the crack. So Greg is leading. You're being flicked. Let it in. Shit. Should we have a flicker with a bomb break? Oh, we've got flaklala. Yeah. Can we slip fish knee? Bomb break. We'll be right back to finish off Bachelor Brown's top five and then prank call and scream segment, bitch. He didn't make it easy off lala. All right, guys, just to finish Bachelor Brown off. He's struggling to get in there. As you know, at the end of the season, we'll be flying the top three bachelorettes from Bachelor Brown up to live potentially with Matthew Brown. We probably won't do that anyway. So we need to come up. We're sick of not knowing, right? We're going to come up with a top five right now. And then we will adjust it live every week if another girl slips into the top five. All right, so grab the board, Michael. Isn't that like that? These don't have to be in like ranking order. OK, no, this isn't ranking order. This is just in any order, your top five so far. So who have we got? We've got Eila, obviously. Eila is number one. Oh, sorry. Oh, we're not ranking them. Greg is definitely in. That was a hot day on the phone. Julian. I've got to use a fake name and not use a real name because she told me a real name. The only friends go from England. Her name is her fake name is Jess. Jess. And just put, just put OFUK. Let's turn it over. We're going to make sure we know who that is. OFUK, sorry. Should we just say Jess UK? Oh, yeah. And then what about Jasmine? Yeah, Jasmine, yeah. Jasmine was pretty cool. Jasmine. And then I reckon Greg again. I think Jasmine's with an S. Whatever. And then number five, who else? There's been a lot. There's been a lot. A lot of really great contenders. There were some really like, I've had a few chats with girls that are really nice. I'm trying to think of people who stand out. Should I say Ethan? Was that that guy? Yeah, it was that dude. What about the stripper? He was pretty good. Oh, Dom. What else has there been? Dom's way too much. I wish I prepared more for this. Yeah, come on. I'll think just please go with Greg again. No, we can't. We need to. Oh, OK. So at least he's taking it serious. Yeah. So he should. Katie was hot last week, wasn't she? She lived nearby. Have you been talking to her? She never popped up. She didn't follow through. Oh, Katie, come on. If she did, she did. I haven't recognized it, or she follows me right now, I'm sure. Maybe the virtual feel-up was a bit too much. Yeah, it was a bit inappropriate. You guys, the one who initiated that. Yeah, she sounded keen because she was she's like, I don't want anything too serious. You can do it in a cool way. I live nearby. You can do it in a cool way. I want to settle down. Yeah, I was excited about that. But yeah, Ethan was pretty funny. I couldn't go with Ethan. All right, I'm going to put Ethan down. He'd be pretty happy to. All right, so currently, as it stands and, you know, you can look and find if you want to replace any with this. This is your board, man. I can knock people out of the top five. Oh, good. Yeah, next week, I'll revise. All right, so this is the top five as it stands. Isla, Greg, Jess from the UK, Jasmine and Ethan. And that is Bachelor Brown, everyone. Just put that there. Just put that. Yeah, we're going to stick it clean. Yeah, we'll stick it going to be here. So let's just keep it like this for now and see where it goes. Mohan, just give it here. That's that. It's going to fall. That's that there now. That's that. That's that. That's that now, Matt. That's that now, Matt. Yeah. Anyway, what's the? Give me the phone number of the flick, Lillia. 22. This round, do you understand you win this round? You are the first. Congratulations. You win this round. Give me money. Hey, can I just book a massage in, please? I can't believe it. Hey, why? I lost the whole minute. So the minute is like you become like, I reckon, a sensei. Like, yeah, you're immortalised. If you make it to a minute as a business, you are there to hear. Does that mean we keep calling them every time until we win? Imagine if like just just putting the phone in your ear and just sitting there listening to that for one minute. She could have been massaging. Did you sort of giggle towards the end of your laugh? I did laugh, yeah. Well, yeah, I couldn't help myself. It was oh, that was very funny. I lost it very good. And then she like, can I get a massage? Oh, of course I love you. We should try this screaming segment on TikTok because people will just love this. 100 percent. Yeah, let's get the philah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. All right, guys. Shall we save them and like try them again? See if we can win. What do you mean? No, no, that's it. Yeah, they are the gods. That's one. You can't be any better than that. OK, sorry. They're being way more B. All right, guys. It's time for the Frank Frank, Frank fucking call. All right. Effy, we're being Effy. All right, today I'm going to call, right? Maybe some restaurant as Darren. And I'm going to say I'm looking for a job, but I've just gotten out of prison. And then I'll be like, oh, you know, you can apply online and then I'll say, oh, look, you're just discriminating because I've been in jail. I don't know. That's if they have vacancies. Dude, everywhere has Clevesh nearly. That's true, Matthew. You would just spill it. Matt Brown, seriously. So very negative. I'm going to stop all right, man. Quite a negative person. Really? Oh, Matt's fucking wearing a wig and it is not right. What? It's my life. I'm really considering wearing this to work. It's like Lele. Let's see if anyone goes, hey, fired. All right, I'm going to call this place. No, no, no, shout out. Shout out for the job. You fuck dumb, dumb fuck. That he in the back end. I thought. I thought I'm all right. I'm not starting to do that. Fuck. Keep your fucking fucking. Fuck me. Fuck more. Fuck more. Before jail. Now. After jail. If you can't. Yeah. Fuck. Squat rock. Fuck it. You can't. You can't. Fuck. You can't. Fuck. Dark. Where ping is come dark. Where ping is come dark. Where the ping is come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Fuck me, come. Come. Can't. Fuck you. Fuck you. I can't. Yeah. Get out of here. Get out of here. Good blood. Maybe 12 months ago, right? I've ended up doing a bit of time in jail, right? For about nine months. I've just come out and I'm looking to get job again, right? So I'm just calling out seeing like, who's got vacant season that and see if he's be accepting any resumes and that. Yeah, so for resumes and that kind of thing now, in the last kind of 12 months. Yeah, right. Stores don't really accept like paper resumes typically. So you have to go through the online service. And the online, yeah, right. Yeah, and then from there, head off the source and filters it down for the source. Times are changing, brother, right? Times are changing, they are, yeah. Always come. I remember there's just one problem, but Cooslock, I don't have like any online stuff. Like I've got like a little phone, but that don't do like Facebook and all that. That do call and text and that's all that does. And I don't got no laptop on that side. So it's like, do you know what I mean? I'm sort of like stuck there. And I'm gonna need your help for it. That makes sense. I don't know whether there's, I would, I'm not a hundred percent sure. Maybe if I were you, investigate like public libraries and that kind of thing, they usually have open computers you can use to go online and apply stuff. So like public libraries, those kind of buildings. I know, look, I respect that, mate. Yeah, listen, mate, I'll make that honestly. I respect that corner of intensity you had there. That's straight out solid advice, but I'm banned from the public library here in Brisbane, right? So I can't go near libraries and that. So what if like, listen to this, right? What if I come in, right? And all like, I'll just do like a little interview, whatever is there on that. And all's like tears, like all about me, shit and fucking tears locked up for it was nothing bad. It wasn't even me that did it, right? I didn't even, I didn't even do the stealing, right? And I ended up getting nine months for it. It was so, so fucked. But I was explaining that tomorrow and when I'll come in for the interview. And then like, if you need me to do online that, like I'll just jump on your lap. He's got there and I'll just type on me info in on that. Whatever he's need. And who rah rah off we go to the races, bro. Yeah. I mean, we can't, I'm not, I'm trying to... Yeah, no, no, that makes sense. No, you can't, all right, you know, I get it. All right, well look, I respect you standing up strong coming up against my force and stop me. I respect that, right? I'm gonna step back, I'm gonna lift my hands up in the air right now and say you just made me stop and that's respectful. But I know what's going on. I know what deeper is here. I use discriminating because I was just got out of jail. Isn't that right, mate? But, you know, let me come in and tell you my short story. I'll go get it. But I won't take nothing. Don't worry, I'm not gonna take nothing this time. Yeah, man, look, you can, I don't, I don't know whether anyone would, like if he came in and asked, I don't know whether we do interviews on the spot like that. Like, I don't think anyone would just down and talk. Like, not even. My hands are my heart right now. Yeah, nah, that's strong. Yeah, nah. I don't, nah, that's strong. I don't mean to seem like I'm discriminating but literally anyone who walks in and asks for interview, we wouldn't normally do it. It's not something that we do anymore. Mate, hand on my heart right now, mate. You make me, I'm on my knees right now looking up to the heavens and like what you just said. Like that's actually respectful because you've come at it from like, like you're on my side. Does that make sense? And I respect that. You're a team, you're a team leader or something. I'll come in tomorrow, right? You let me deal with the bosses and that. Don't tell them, I got done. Don't tell them I spent any time in jail, right? You keep your mouth shut about that. I'll talk to them tomorrow when I get in and I can explain it to them. Cause if you try and tell them and you say, oh yeah, you went to jail. Whatever you're gonna say to them or they might get wrong idea off me. Does that make sense? Yeah, 100% mate. Yeah, yeah, no worries. I get it. Okay. Oh, good. Well, that's good. What you just said then, to be honest, like that was like I'm pumping my chest out with pride right now, bro. What you've just come back, strong. Like, like I came up a little bit and you pushed back. You took a step back and caught me with you, bro. And that means a world to me, right? And I'm gonna let you know I got your back full off. You are my blood. Yeah. All right. You are my blood. Do you understand that now? We are family, bro. Yeah, 100%. And they also gonna be with today or? No, mate. Look, that's all I wanted to know was and I've called up getting a job and I leave them with a family member, mate. And that's like, shake my hand. Can't fucking shake my hand. Like stand up, put your hand out and pretend that we're shaking hands. Cause that's what I'm doing right now. And I've got a fucking tear in my heart, bro. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Thank you so much, brother. You are my brother. Follow us. Do you understand? I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah, man, 100%. I'll see you tomorrow, bro. But don't ever forget me and don't tell him about jail. I love you, bro. Yeah. I love you. See you later, bro. I love you, Dylan. Oh, man. He's like, 100%. Yeah, we are family now. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Dude, what's his name, Dylan? Honestly, that is probably up there with my most favorite prank call you've ever done. I love you, brother. Yeah, but not in a sexual way. Yeah, true. Family. It's like he's expecting some psycho to come in tomorrow just demanding an interview. Oh, man, you got real angry at certain parts. I love that. He sounds so unhinged. I'll be like, don't you tell him that I'm coming and don't you tell him about jail? Yeah, like he would have been like, no, man, I won't. Stressing a bit about that. Imagine him going to his boss's office, but hey, I just got the weirdest phone call. Some guy is going to come in tomorrow and ask for an interview. Oh, hopefully I didn't scare him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your brother's now. Your brother's now. That is what you loved him. I really wanted him to say it back. I should have asked him. Yeah, you love me too. Damn it. Dude, when he figures out he's on the podcast, he's going to be so happy. Oh, that was so funny, dude. Oh, wait, wait, wait. That was seriously, yeah. That's it. Next week, hopefully I'll have Misfit Minds, if not the week after, and Lion Locking. Everything's coming together like a big ball of power. We're the best, we're the best, we're the best, best, best, best.