 So, in keeping with this theme of the dance, we already saw, when we were with our wives in the same room together, that the dance that we're a part of really is a two-step. There's something we're supposed to do in loving our wife like Christ loves the church, and then there's something she is supposed to do, which is to, you know, respect us, her husband, not us, like we're all your wife's husband, you know what I mean? Those of us that are husbands, to respect those of us that are husbands, to do those things. And looking at some of the questions that we're going to address in our final session together, I know for some of you on your heart is, well, what if she doesn't do that? What if she doesn't support me? What if she doesn't come alongside me? And we'll address that when we come to the next session. But there also was a question that was given, and I didn't know that when I planned today's study, but one of the questions was from a wife sitting here, and so married to one of you, and the question was, what if my husband refuses to lead? And so what I want to talk about long before I saw that question is leading this dance, because you do understand in a dance, somebody's got to lead. If you're both leading or nobody's leading, it's as awkward as I described with me just trying to dance by myself. Somebody has got to lead. Somebody has got to take the initiative. Someone has got to go forth. And men, it's you and I who God, not your pastor, not your friend, not your wife, who God is holding responsible to lead this relationship. That is not your friend's idea or your wife's idea. And we can kind of look at them and say, why are you preaching at me? God Almighty says, I want you to lead this relationship. And I want to look just for a few minutes. I won't be long, but I want us to look at Isaac. And I want to see what made him such a great leader. And there are things that I think you and I can easily implement into our own marriages. And the first thing I want us to see is as this chapter opens up, it kind of gives us this genealogy. Abraham and Sarah have a son by the name of Isaac. And then we get to learn Isaac's story. Isaac's going to get married to Rebecca and they're going to have Esau and Jacob, who we learned about this morning when he was married to a couple of women and all the problems that happened in that marriage. But this is the before story with his dad, Isaac. And before Jacob or Esau were ever born, we read of a problem there in the text. And the problem is that Rebecca is barren. She can't have children. And the first thing I see, the first thing I want you to notice, the first thing I want us to consider about Isaac being a leader, something we can implement in our lives, we must implement into our lives is Isaac took his family in a different, distinct direction than what he learned from his parents. And what do I mean by that? Well, most of you know your Bible. So you know that Rebecca being barren, not able to have children, she's not the first one in the biblical story to deal with this, is she? Isaac's mom before she had him, Sarah, was in the same predicament. Abraham and Sarah, his parents could not have children. But do you remember how Abraham and Sarah dealt with that problem? Most of you do, obviously. I think honestly, when you when you read the story and just read it like it's actually happening, because it was we read one chapter after another. We realize there's years between each of these stories. For years, God has been telling, first of all, just Abraham. Later, he'll tell Sarah a year before she becomes a mother. But up until that point, there is no record in the Bible of God ever talking to Sarah about them having children. But he talked to Abraham. He'd say, Abraham, you are going to be the father of many nations. You are going to have so many kids. They'll be innumerable like the stars in the heaven or the sands on the sea. And no doubt he would like we would do if you if you were childless. He goes home to his wife and he says, babe, I just got the best news. I know I'm 75 and you're 60. But but the reality is we're going to have kids someday. And that would be a tough conversation if you're 75 and 60. But it continued on, right? Until well into the 80s and the 90s. God kept coming back every five, 10 years or so and telling Abraham, I haven't changed my mind. You are going to be the father of many nations. And he would go home and tell his wife, we're going to have a baby someday. And I personally just wonder if Sarah got just tired of hearing that over and over again. Tired of thinking there was something lacking in her, which which physically there was. But but it wasn't her fault. She didn't make this decision. She knows her husband desperately wants a kid. And so finally maybe maybe that was the the the mindset behind it all. But we know what she did. She said, why don't you just take Hagar, my maid servant. Why do you have a child with her and then we'll raise that child in the place so we can finally have a kid in Abraham? Here's that and says, well, that's what you want, babe. That is what I'm going to do. I'm a family man. I'm concerned with the wealth of our family. So if that's if that's what you're suggesting, beautiful, that is what we're going to do. And it wasn't just a suggestion for Sarah. What you and I also need to key into is it was the way the culture back then operated. Obviously, in today's world, if you and your wife can't have children, you know, the option is adoption, you know, even with medical science and intro fertilization, like all the things that we have available to us today. Obviously, they didn't have back then and none of us in our marriages. If you do it, you probably want to book a counseling session. But but none of your marriages, your wife is like, let's try a different girl and see if you can have a child with her. There is no right thinking Christian woman that suggests that to you. I mean, amen. We're all in the same page. But in that culture, that was the norm on those actual cuneiform tablets. So I love Pastor Sandy's top 10 reasons to not be married to two wives. That was great. But on actual cuneiform tablets, the Nizoo tablets, they found these marriage agreements between these couples who were married in ancient Babylon. And it was basically this, we're going to have children together. If you can't provide a child, it is your obligation wife to find me a second wife to be able to have children with that was like in their marriage agreements in that culture. So Isaac back to our story here in Genesis 25, not only has the example of his parents who decided to go outside of their marriage covenant and find another girl to have a baby with to deal with his wife's infertility. You also had a culture that said, this is exactly the way that you are supposed to do it. This is what Isaac is facing. But Isaac makes the decision to be a leader, to lead his family like God wants all of us in the room to lead our families. And he decides to go a different direction than his parents. A different direction from the culture. We read it in the text. I don't know if you noticed it, but when he realized it's not just we're not together enough, when he realized his wife is barren, what did Isaac do? Isaac prayed. Isaac prayed. It's amazing that we never read that. I mean, Abraham prayed about a lot of stuff, but we never read him putting hands on his wife, Sarah and say, God, would you open up her womb? God, would you intervene in this? Would you do something amazing as great as Abraham was as a father of the faithful that he was? We never read him doing this. Isaac didn't have this example in his father. He chose to take his family in a different direction. And then that's something as a leader all of us can implement. Because I think all of us, because we live in the real world, a lot of us had poor examples growing up. You know, your your father, your grandfather wouldn't be caught dead in a marriage conference. Like she needs to get over her unhappiness. Like that's a lot of our fathers and our grandfather's mentality. And I don't know your story, but let me share with you mine. So my dad, I'm not a pastor's kid. My dad doesn't pastor a church somewhere. My dad was a drug addict and a drug dealer. He spent lots of my young life in and out of prison for drug possession and drug dealing. Then somehow he moved to a different state and the state didn't check with California records. And he became a drug counselor for kids. So he would have the kids come into his office, tell him they shouldn't be on drugs, put all of the drugs in his drawer. And then he would take all of their drugs until he got fired from that and went back into prison. When my parents divorced, when I was five, I still remember the night my dad left. And I remember him just drunk out of his mind, coming into my room, grabbing me by the shirt. And he said to me, you're the reason I'm leaving this family. I was five years old. You're the reason I'm leaving this family. There's a lot of reasons I should make some psychologists lots of money. My mother, God bless her, because she at least stayed with us and took care of us, but on the moral spectrum, wasn't much better. We lived with so many men in my young adult life. I had many guys coming in and out of my life as my new stepdaddies, though they were never really married and those kind of situations. And even when she got saved, remember, you know, she got saved. We were going to Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa at the time and she saw Pastor Chuck did this movie against Halloween, why Halloween was bad. And my mom is a brand new baby Christian, was so like impressed by that. She sat my sister and I down and she says, we are no longer going trick or treating. We are not going to honor the Satanic holiday. And she said, instead, though, what we're going to do is we're going to rent Friday the 13th, one through five, and we're going to have a marathon movie night at the house. And so instead of trick or treating, my Christian mom exposed me to killing and nudity and all that stuff that night as a good thing that God wanted her to do. That was literally my upbringing. And then as I became a teenager, I started writing to my dad because I wanted a relationship with him. The last time I saw him was when I was 12 years old. And so when I became a teenager, I started writing and reaching out to him and saying, hey, you know, I really want, I really want a relationship with you. I know you're gone. And I remember even as a teenager thinking, I hope you can forgive me for wherever. Why are you left us because of me? Because that's what I remember. My dad shaking me saying, you're the reason we're leaving. I'm leaving and just trying to apologize. And I'd always I'd always would give the letter to my mom and say, can you just send it? I don't even know where my dad lives. Can you send it where you think he lives and and and then always getting them back just unopened and her telling me your dad doesn't want a relationship with you. I turned 45 years ago and on my 40th birthday, there was a letter at the church I passed her out in India. It was a letter from my father and the letter said, your dad, your granddad died of prostate cancer. I currently have prostate cancer. I know you just turned 40. You better get checked so you don't die too. And then you left his phone number at the bottom of the letter. I hadn't heard from him in 28 years. And I opened up that letter and picked up the phone and he answered. And I said, hey dad, for the first time in 28 years. At the time I was stage four lymphoma. So I was like, well, I got good news and bad news. Good news is they've checked me for all cancers. I do not have prostate cancer. Bad news is I'm dying of lymphoma. Please pray for me, hopefully I'll get better. But the reality was is we just started talking. And when I went out to see him, I found out that he never got any of those letters. That he had decided to turn his life around, wanted to be in my life when I was 16, 17 years old. And my mom, and again, her motives, she's done the best job she can with the tools she was given. But wanted to protect me from him and so kept me from him. And so then I had to deal with the struggle of like, my mom's been lying to me my entire life. That's where I come from. I got saved because my mom would drop me off at Calvary Costa Mesa because she heard they had free babysitting and she needed a night away from me and my sister. And she would do that multiple times a week and she trusted because she was never a part of it but she was there when the Jesus movement was happening and she heard that was a safe place for people love Jesus so she dropped her kids off there. So when I got tired of children's ministry, I wandered in the back of the sanctuary and heard this old guy, this old bald guy preaching the gospel. And it happened so frequently, I would also go on Monday nights when Greg Laurie back then was preaching on Monday nights. And Greg Laurie, I remember to this day, he's like, you're either for God or you're against God. And I'm like a 14 year old kid and I'm like, I don't wanna be against God. That sounds like a bad thing to be. So if you don't wanna be against God, you come forward. That's literally how my relationship with God started. I don't wanna be on his bad side. And I came forward and gave my life to the Lord and that is where it started. And from that moment forward, I go home and I'm like, Mom, I know you say we're Christians. I don't think we are. Like witness to my mom and then my mom got saved and my grandparents got saved. And my whole family got saved. God was so gracious to take me from this totally backwards family and say, I'm gonna have you have Calvary Costa Mesa do your babysitting and I'm gonna have the speaker at your babysitter be Pastor Chuck and Greg Laurie and all these different guys because God took my life in a different direction but you understand there had to be a decision on my part that I'm not gonna emulate what I saw emulated for me in my life. My sister who I love with all my heart but she's turned her back on the Lord and gone the same way as her father before her and her mother for that season of her life. All of us have a decision. You have family, you have upbringing, you have things that you have been given but you have to make a decision. I am not a follower, I am a leader. I wanna take my family in a completely different direction and then it's possible. And again, you might say, well, again I wasn't raised by people who knew how to pray. I wasn't raised by people who knew these things and I hear you friends, neither was I, neither was I and I feel like to use a sports illustration that most of us can understand. I feel like most of the time I've been starting off in my own end zone meaning I can sense in my own body. I told you in the groups about the Diet Coke thing. Like the reason my wife forbids me to drink Diet Coke is like some of you that occasionally have a Diet Coke that wasn't my relationship with Diet Coke. It was 80 to 100 ounces a day of Diet Coke for 20 years. I just, I was never into alcohol or drugs because I didn't wanna be like my dad but I was addicted to caffeine and Diet Coke. I would have so much of it. I sensed that in my body. I sensed the draw to things I remember watching with my mom when I was a little kid just egging on my heart even as a full grown adult. But we have to make a decision. That's not the direction I'm going. You might feel like you're deep in your end zone but you know what? Football's about to start so here's where I'm at with my illustrations today. You can make a decision today to take that ball and even though you're starting deep in your end zone you can advance it to midfield. You can say I'm gonna make the choices to advance this ball to midfield. Yes, it might be differently than David Rosales raises as kids. It might be different than the marriage of Pastor Sandy Adams but for me I can advance the ball to midfield. I can teach my kids to walk with Jesus. And those kids, the next generation they can take it into the red zone. They can advance the ball to take it into the red zone and then our grandkids can change the world. This is the reality of what can happen. The nation of Israel was formed in three generations Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and though each of them had setbacks and each of them weren't perfect by any stretch of the means each of them were committed to advance that ball and they go from Abraham who came from an idol worshiping nation. Literally there's records of his dad making idols that the people of Ur would be able to worship so that they made their money from idol formation. That's where Abraham was from and in three generations you have Jacob with 12 sons who become the 12 tribes of Israel and the people of God are born. But each of those men, each of those men though they weren't perfect though they made their own mistakes they were committed to move the ball forward from where the generation before them had been. They were committed to say I'm gonna teach the next generation more than I was taught. I'm gonna teach them how to love their God like I was never taught and to watch them have success. Most of you know because again most of this isn't just my story it's your story and some of you watch your kids do things that you couldn't even imagine. Some of you, my son has been leading worship here on occasion especially at you things and I get so blessed by that to see my 19 year old boy and I think back to the crazy things going on in here in my heart when I was 19 and here he is like dedicated to lead people in worship and I think God it's working it's working as much as the enemy of us to beat me up about the weird things that still swim around in my heart and I'll just be as transparent as possible with you guys because I don't want you to think I have figured it out and you haven't they're weird sinful things that are constantly swimming around in here. I am so grateful that God saved me that God has called me and that I'm able to take my children and just teach them more than I was ever taught and my heart and my hope is that someday, someday my grandkids if God tarries that long that my kids can build on what I taught them and the third generation can change the world but none of that happens if we decide to stay in our own zone. None of that happens if we go yeah you know my dad was crazy and I'm just like him and I'm just gonna make the decisions he made I'm just gonna do exactly what he did the enemy will stop everything in your family right at that stage. A leader, how do we lead this dance? We decide to not be like the generations that went before us to build and do something totally different. Isaac does, his father and the culture all around him says you should go ahead and just find a new girl to have a wife with, to have kids with he says no, instead I am gonna pray for my wife and a leader, leaders in this room where the whole culture says you're being ignored by your wife, sex is anything and everything but what Pastor Sandy described in there so what does the culture tell you? It tells you to turn to pornography it tells you to you need to pour into your work pour into your kids, forget about this marriage that is what the culture says and the culture would not bat an eye if that's the direction you go but we don't wanna be what the culture wants us to be we wanna be godly men we wanna lead our families and so we've gotta take them in a different direction Isaac prays and God listens to the voice of his wife he listens to his voice and he opens up his wife's womb and she gets pregnant, now watch this so then she's having a rough pregnancy cause she doesn't know she's got two twin boys inside there and God tells her eventually you got two nations in your womb that doesn't look like a problem but what God meant was you got these two boys who will become two nations who will not get along with each other but that started as most of you know in the womb they were fighting in the womb so she says Lord what's going on but I want you to see this when Rebecca's having a problem with her pregnancy what does Rebecca do? She prays now again Rebecca is from the same family that Abraham and Sarah were from meaning she grew up pagan too she grew up with no heart for God no heart to see him lifted up in her family no knowledge to pray over things what I want you to see men is Isaac is rubbing off on Rebecca he prays to deal with the problem and then she's got a problem in her womb and she prays too and again another great reason and another reason we have to be leaders is God is counting on you not only to take your family a different direction but he's counting on you to model things for your wife that can help her grow in her relationship with the Lord I realize most of us in the room we don't want to get into a spirituality contest with our wife most of us don't most of us are like if God's in heaven like let's see I get to let one in is it gonna be Jason or is it gonna be Christie I know it won't be and I pray it won't be down to that because that would be an easy choice for the Lord it's like get out of here who are you kidding and he would bring Christie right on in I don't wanna get into a spirituality contest with my wife and most of you can agree I know there's a few of you there's a few of you who your marriage is tough because your wife isn't wanting to serve Jesus she isn't wanting to go for it she isn't wanting to do things spiritually in your marriage I know that's existing in this room but for the vast majority I know we know that man our wives man they got it figured out it's we they're lagging behind but that is still no excuse for you and I to model biblical things for our wives you know I kinda get a sad thrill every time a husband comes into my counseling office and complains about his wife oh she's this wife oh she doesn't love me oh she doesn't well there's no there's no nothing a relationship and I just let go on and on and on for a little while just let it get it out get it all out get it all out and I say wow really really I turn them in the Bible to 1 Corinthians 11 I turn them there and in 1 Corinthians 11 7 it says that woman is the glory of man I said do you know what says that do you know what says that the woman is the glory of man and they usually respond I didn't know that yeah add that to the list she isn't very glorious she is not glorifying me and I go oh oh oh well the Greek another literal translation of that is woman is a reflection of man she's reflecting you bro then they usually run out mad but it cuts down on my counseling it's really good it's really good I'm like alright but there's a truth to it just like I shared with when we were all combined that our wives play a huge role in helping us become who we are the opposite's also true you play a huge role on who your wife becomes and if you look at your wife and if I just I don't wanna show a hand it's just a moment between you and the Lord if you look at your wife and there's a deep dissatisfaction with who she is spiritually the deep dissatisfaction of how she handles things how she does things because you are leaders men I'm challenging you to turn that mirror around and saying God what is it about me that she's reflecting that I don't like how can I grow how can I mature how can I do what I need to do to reflect something better for her to reflect back and we'll get in the question time what do we do if she never ever responds we'll get to that but the reality is this needs to be our goal because the same verse that says woman is the glory of man or the reflection of man it also says that you and I we're reflecting something too we're reflecting God but here's the difference in that whereas we're always around our wife so she's naturally gonna pick up some things about us that we're reflecting you and I have to make a choice to reflect the Lord in our lives we have to make a choice to be in the presence of God you know it's gonna go on to say about Jacob and Esau it describes him in the verses we just read there they were physically super different right I mean Esau was covered in red hair he looked like baby Elmo when he was born and just you know and Jacob was smooth skin and Esau loved to be hunting in the field that's why his daddy loved him and of course Jacob loved to be in the tent kind of reading books and cooking meals and that's why his mama loved him and they were just two different boys but it was more than physicality and it was more than just what they love to do with their free time in the book of Hebrews in chapter 12 of the book of Hebrews it describes Esau and it says we don't wanna be like him and it says there in Hebrews 11 sorry 1214 it says that he was a profane man that the main difference between Jacob and Esau they were both struggle with sin they both had a lot of issues but Esau was profane and that Greek word translated in English as profane it literally means outside the sanctuary Esau was outside of the sanctuary in context it means one that never took time to build a sanctuary in his heart the main difference between Jacob and Esau wasn't how they looked that was different wasn't what they like to do with free time is that Jacob with all of his sin and all of his issues and all of his problems eventually in his life took time to build an altar in his heart a place from which God could communicate to him he could pour out his heart and become a different guy and Esau never did it was the same thing with David I mean we all love King David right the greatest king Israel ever had the king to which all kings in Israel history are ever forever measured against David a man God says a man after my own heart but then you become a Bible student right and you actually read the Bible and you're like how can you even say that because David has some issues right I mean David was a compulsive liar he is a compulsive liar as you read through the story secondly he's got a little bit of a woman problem wouldn't you say just a little bit I mean we all know about Bathsheba we got that but before Bathsheba he's got nine wives and a stable of concubines which are basically women that you financially take care of and provide sexual services for you let's be honest about what they are I look at that and go huh and then yeah there was the Bathsheba thing and on top of that he murders Uriah he actually puts them in the front of the battle and then tells Joab to pull the troops back so Uriah will die how can that guy be a man after God's own heart well I look at it and I learn two things about David I see that David with all of his sin and all of his struggles and all of his shortcomings David number one was never an idolater unlike what his son struggled with he was never an idolater there was one true God that he would serve he didn't always do what's right he didn't always fall in what he wanted to but he always knew there was one God he was not an idolater and secondly he was clearly a man who allowed God to build an altar in his heart we read his song book the book of songs is David pouring out his heart and oftentimes when you know the story of especially you know the stories in Second Samuel and you read them next to David's Psalms you realize that a lot of the Psalms he wrote he's just crying out to God saying God this is not who I am I am not really a man of purity I'm not really a man of character but that's who I want to be he's crying out to God from the altar that's been built in his heart God I need you to change me and make me into the man that you and the nation of Israel deserves and this gives me great hope for a loser like me what's really important is that I'm working on an altar built right here I'm not perfect and I know you aren't either I struggle with things in my mind and my heart there's an altar right here where I can go to the Lord and I can say God that needs to die in my heart my wife and my kids and what you've entrusted me with ministry is too important for that to ever go past weird thoughts that come into my mind God I need you to kill that kind of stuff in my life I need you to make me into the man of God you need me to be and that altar gets built then as we take the time look I know we all pray you know the food comes out you get your double doubles oh yeah and you're like thank you Jesus bless this food hope the calories do not kill me help it relate to me like I did when I was 20 eating double doubles come on Lord we pray about building an altar of prayer we have a moment where you can come with the Lord sometime daily you come to Him and just pour out your heart our wives are desperately wanting us to be leaders how is it gonna happen we are meant to decide I want an altar of prayer in my life we're so quick when work goes sideways and our marriage goes sideways we're so quick to call friends and family and whine and complain listen you gotta talk to somebody I get that we spend so much time talking to people who cannot change the situation you have a relationship with the living God who said let there be light and there was who said stop to the oceans here and they did somebody who created something out of nothing the problems at work the problems in your marriage are not too big for God they're too big for you they're not too big for God so cry out God have this altar of prayer have this altar to the word of God I know you all study the Bible most of you go to Cabaret Chapel Gino Valley you're a well taught you're sitting listening to a Bible study right now I pray your relationship with God's word is not just on Sunday mornings maybe Wednesday nights occasionally maybe a conference every once in a while the reason it's so important listen I'm not trying to this is how you make God love you this is how to get more saved look at that you are saved by the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and your simple belief in it and God loves you more than you can possibly understand no matter what you do this isn't about making God love you this isn't making you more saved this is the fact that I don't wanna be profane and I know you don't wanna be either I don't wanna be outside the sanctuary I want an altar built in my heart and so I need a relationship with God's word because the world is constantly preaching a sermon amen it is constantly preaching a sermon and I need the truth to wash over all of that to cleanse my mind and get my heart back on track with God I need an altar of prayer I need an altar to the word of God I need an altar of worship we all worship again we show up at church and they do it every time there's always a few songs clap when they're good that's all I'm talking about I'm talking about having a time to be honest I mean the worship team back where I get to pastor they did a phenomenal job but honestly sometimes sanctuary worship it sometimes is great but it's not always the best for me for me it's because I'm always thinking about that point didn't work well in the first service I gotta change it for second service and then hopefully by third service I'll get it done like this is what's going on in my mind when everybody else around me is like I love you Jesus I'm like squirrel like I'm so distracted so it's not often sanctuary worship that's the best but I'm telling you when some song comes on when I'm driving somewhere it's right where I need to hit there's times I just have to pull over the car people are looking at me and I'm like what is he on? Jesus and it's better than whatever you're on telling you that I need an altar of worship an altar of prayer an altar of the word of God I want to be profane then I want to end with this I don't know where you are at today but I know with all my heart God can make you a totally different person a totally different person and I know that because we were talking about in the joint study that I got to do you know when Paul before he tells husbands how to be and he says you be filled with the spirit you remember how life changing the spirit has been in people's lives before I mean we always lift up these apostles like they were these great guys and they were eventually but the night Jesus was betrayed and the night before he was crucified you remember what Peter was doing right? he was denying him three times a little girl hey, are you a disciple? he's like no oh I never even knew the man and Peter's like wee same guy same guy 50 days later stands up in front of a 3,000 not little girls but men with swords and clubs not 3,000 that's how you got saved thousands he says Jesus Christ whom you crucified has become both Lord and Christ you need to get saved and get baptized today and thousands did where did that courage come from? what kind of class did he take? he didn't take a class he was the day of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came down and changed him into a man of courage and a man of purpose and a man that can be used by God same thing with the apostle John the apostle John before he dies as known as the apostle of love because he was the last living apostle you guys know this and then the churches would invite him to speak imagine that guest speaker the apostle John do I sign up for that? and people would walk for miles to come here John speak and he was an old old man and he'd get up on the platform and he'd say my little children love one another and he'd sit back down like he didn't know pastors could preach five word sermons we can't anymore but John would and they would say no no no I walk for two days where's the meat where's the good stuff and he would get back up and he'd say this is the meat love one another he became known as the apostle of love but let's not forget whoop let's run the clock back Luke chapter 9 they're all in Samaria the Samaritans aren't listening so same dude says hey Jesus could we actually pray and call fire down from heaven to burn these people that aren't listening to us? I know we all have people we disagree with but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's probably only a few of you cause I know there's a few of you come on now come on there's a few of you but most of us have never prayed death upon the person that that has frustrated us a little bit we've accidents maybe but not death John literally prays I wanna set this guy these guys on fire that's how you know you have a little bit of an anger problem how does that guy become the apostle of love it wasn't a class it was the power of the Holy Spirit to change him I'm telling you men I don't know where you are today I know many of us have started out deep in our own in zone we just don't know what's gonna work and our our wives God bless them they are so quick to sometimes point out the failures and how we don't measure up and how we're not gonna get it and we and sometimes the enemy is right there to say yeah you should just give up but I'm here to tell you today what God has for you is worth you making a decision today I will not give up I will be the leader of this family and this relationship and though I have no business being this leader I have no business for the crazy stuff going on in my heart the God that I serve can take a man who had no courage in front of a little girl and make him the preacher of Pentecost the God that I can serve can make a man that was so angry he prayed that God would set people on fire and make him a apostle that was known for his love and that same God that can turn you with your lust and your line your struggle and your bitterness and you're not being compassionate toward your wife and as you say God I am deciding to make a difference today I'm deciding to take my family and my life in a completely different direction that same God can transform you into somebody who God looks at you one day and says well done my good and faithful servant you were faithful in these things I entrusted to you now I'm gonna make you ruler over many you decided I will not stay in this end zone I'm gonna move the ball by the power of the Holy Spirit to where God wants me to be and I'm gonna let God change me into a different man Amen Amen, Father thank you thank you for your word for us today and I just pray I pray for these guys Lord be in one of them I know there are times where God our wives is as amazing as they are sometimes God that sometimes there can be so much discouragement God we know that most of them are so spiritual and they know you and we don't measure up at a lot of times and sometimes when they're in a moment of the flesh they love to point that out but God I pray that we'd realize that is not how you feel about us your word is so clear Lord there is no condemnation to those that are in Christ but God you do want us to hear truth you do want us to hear truth that we need to be leaders someone has to lead this dance and you have called it to be us and so God we wanna lead this relationship spiritually we wanna go to you and ask you to fill us with your spirit to turn us into different men different than our character and our nature different especially than some of the examples we had growing up and what the culture is preaching around us God we wanna be different we wanna be one that can reflect beautiful godly things to our spouse that she can reflect to you that she can become all that she wants to be so God forgive our sin forgive our shortcomings forgive our inadequacies God I pray something would be born in us today that we would be determined to be godly men and we pray that together in Jesus name Amen