 Hey there friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and I'm your local drug dealer for today. Hold on, I'm gonna throw out some gang signs. This is... How do I do it? How do I do a K with a gang sign? Is... Is that a... Is that good? Well anyway, I'm pretty hardcore in real life. I... Deal the hard stuff, you know. Paracetamol. Vitamin C. That's a... That's a strong one. It all says on the label to not take more than the... Required amount, but uh... Sometimes I take an extra one, you know, gummy vitamins. Pretty extreme. Uh... This feels really uncomfortable when my glasses are fogging up, I... But boy, do I feel cool. And plus, one of the best benefits of this is you can't see my mouth, so I could just add in jokes after the video and you'd never know. Alright. Alright, well, we're gonna have to lose some of this because I can't see, so we're definitely gonna have to lose this. Now I feel cool. And you know what? I have a feeling the audio isn't gonna be great, so I'm gonna have to take off the hat for sure, otherwise you're not gonna be able to hear me. And now the whole outfit is ruined. May as well get rid of this too, or at least... Oh God, it's... Okay, there we go. Now I just look like I'm ready for a nice meal. I got like this bib on. Alright, let's be a feckin' drug dealer. The leather jacket stays on. That's... That's real. But let's reveal my friendly side, because I've got this bright little green t-shirt on. This is like the longest intro ever. I did not even touch the game yet. Oh my God, I didn't realize this badass music was playing the whole time in the background. Try to be calm and less visible when the police is around. I try and do that in general in public to be honest. Just don't make eye contact. Look at the floor. Oh my God, what is going on? He's like 11 a.m. The earliest I've been up in weeks. Am I being robbed? Yeah, and fuck you too! Oh my God, my character is a pottymouth. I don't like being a drug dealer. All these games look the exact same. I love it. Like this could be drug dealer. It could be thief simulator. It could be that a house thing. It could be anything. I have to say though, it's unusual that your character has a voice. That is new. Wait, was that the Tony Hawk XP noise? What the hell that was unexpected? Oh, fire. I like this neighborhood already. Oh, and hopscotch. This is amazing. I love being a drug dealer. There sure is a lot of magic going on If you know what I mean. No, I don't. You're mumbling away to yourself, and I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm supposed to go to the local square, but how am I supposed to know where that is? Okay, look do whatever you want, but do you really have to put it in people's faces like that? Yes, we smoke. It's like, all right, I get it. Are you Eddie? Okay, good. I found him. Wait, is he using drugs? That's a bit inappropriate. No, thanks. I believe drugs are wrong. I think I'm playing the wrong game. Alright, you sent me out to get a package or something in a dead drop. How am I supposed to find a dead drop? I don't know what I'm doing. Oh wait, in here? Aha! I'm so smart. Wait, I'm doing this online? I don't think I need to be doing this online. I think I need to just approach people. It seems like this whole neighborhood is on drugs and they're really vocal about it. I don't think there's any point going to eBay for my sales. I'm just contacting everyone. I will sell to all of you. Okay, I'm delivering to a guy called Pablo Bong. I don't think that's your real name, sir. I need your real name for tax purposes, please. Where the hell is Pablo Bong? Are you Pablo Bong? Excuse me, Mr. Bong. I have your drugs. What did he want again? Oh, yeah, amphetamine. Okay, there you go. This person is trying way too hard to fit in. They're definitely a cop. Wait, why is their skin tone different than their stomach to every word? You know what? Let's not question it. Here's your drugs. Forgot something. Be right back. I forgot her drugs. I don't have enough. What do I do? How do I get more drugs? Ah, a drug store, of course. Just show up to the Pharisee like you wouldn't have any weed, would you? No, no, don't call the cops. It's not what you think. I'm- I'm dealing it. I'm not using it. Okay, I think I have enough. Not- not both. I just want to give you one. It uses the same controls as Minecraft for splitting stacks. I should have guessed. Basically the same game. Oh, good. They have a pretty low Transition risk. I feel comfortable with this. Oh man, that just makes me want to grind some rails or do some alleys. I really want to play Tony Hawk now. What do I order? I- I think this, um, marriage you want? He's selling really well. Oh God, Pablo Bong needs more. How did you get through that already? That was like five minutes ago. Check the gas station for powdered additives. Okay, let's see him save. Oh my God, what the hell? Get your feet down! You're the kind of person who puts their feet on the seat in front of you on airplanes. I could make some washing powder in there. Kids love those like tide pods. That's right. I'm not against selling my drugs to kids. It's the way of the streets, yo. God, I really am breaking bad. Two hopscotch. Anything to kill the time. I'm waiting for Eddie to deliver to me. Five skill points. You have skills in this game? Oh, having pockets is a skill. I always feel bad for women in that regard. Their clothes don't seem to have pockets. Okay, the package is across here. My apartment is there. Could you not just have come and given it to me instead? All right, Pablo, where the hell are you now? He's been waiting out here for like an hour. Who's ringing me? I don't have time. I'm going to see Pablo. Shut up! I'm seeing Pablo! God damn it, he's jealous. Oh for fuck's sake, I need to split it into a smaller bag. All right, I forgot something. Hold on. Can I not just even it out, like hold five grams in each hand and try and balance it or like find a seesaw in the park and do it? That way it would be like a little science experiment. Eddie, I'm a businessman. All right, leave me alone. Jesus Christ. I owe him so much money. He's going to kill me. Oh my god, it's worse than GTA online. It actually is horrible. He won't stop calling me. Apply mix. No, I don't want to mix it. I just, fuck's sake, what'll I mix with it? Okay, I didn't mix anything. Can I just package it up please? Christ almighty. I don't know what I'm doing. Oh my god, Eddie, you are so fucking needy. What do you want? Oh great. Now he's not calling me. Fantastic. Oh, there he goes again. That's what pissed them off. Some tires on fire. Not the abundance of drugs everywhere. All right, there you go Pablo. Sorry to wait like two hours, but something tells me you don't got much else going on anyway. He's going to call me 10 minutes anyway and tell me he needs more growing the business. Buy spray paint and place four wall markings. Okay, I'm down. I'm a businessman. I owned a small business before. I can get behind this gorilla marketing technique. All right, let's see what my spray is going to be. I wish I could put in my own pictures. Yeah, you see that is lame. That's not going to get anyone's attention. Like that is lost in the neighborhood. You need something like Kermit smoking a blunt or something that like really gets someone's attention and get the kids involved too, you know? Yeah, this is fucking lame. This just looks pathetic. This isn't going to get me any new customers. Okay, this guy is a cop for sure. Look at him. He's not fitting in at all. Yes, level three. I don't even know what that involves. I think this guy just has nothing to do with his life and he's just trying to look for miniature golds to work towards. I feel kind of bad for him. Hey, I have a free present for you. There you go. Make some brownies. Have a good time. God, this guy's a cop too. You're all cops. Give him a present. Oh wait, no, I can only give him 10 grams. Okay, no, you keep going. So goodbye. Actually, just so I don't seem suspicious, give him a dollar. Oh my God, Pablo wants more. Where is he getting all this money? I'm starting to think he actually is a cop. We got two orders, five grass, whatever that is. I'm not familiar with the lingo. All right, I'm going to need some grass, Eddie. I know I'm already in debt to you, but I need more. Wait, I can set my price. I already agreed to sell it to them now, upping the price. Wait, I'm bringing amphetamine to Pablo. Can I just up the price loads? Because he has so much. It's a charge of 900. Oh, I can name my mix. I'm going to call it baking soda. Pablo's still buying it. Pablo, Jesus Christ, he knows where I live now. Heck, in hell, he may as well come in. 24 bucks. What about my new prices? All right, I guess I can just change the price after already making the deal then. Let's swap my prices back. Oregano's going in there. It'll be good. That'll fool the cops. What is this? Deliver cash for the cartel? I have the cash. No, no, don't give him cash. Your total debt is 130. Really? I think that's like all my money. Okay, I can't afford any more drugs. I better get some good money off these sales. How have I managed to ruin my drug business in one day in this neighborhood where everyone seems to just guzzle drugs? I like how everyone remains inconspicuous by just wearing high vis jackets. God, my guy's heavy breathing is so hard. Handing over these drugs to her, he'd be a little bit suspicious. Jesus, Christ, they're heavily armed, aren't they? No, thank you. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Eddie, quick. Take this money off me. Oh, in fact, they're shocking me. Eddie, help me. Why are you now reacting to this? This is terrifying. I had so much drugs and money on me. Oh, perfect sake. Wait, I don't think I picked up the drugs yet, so I only had... Wait, did I actually I think I gave away all my drugs. I think I had like two grams of amphetamine on me, which apparently only gives you an evening in prison. Oh, no, ninches. Thanks for the back-up there, Eddie. Jesus Christ. Luckily, he doesn't seem too pissed that I just basically gave him into the cops. Oh, by the way, I'm going to spray paint your door now, if you don't mind. This poor guy, Dimitri Drez, up the top left there, he's still waiting on my drugs that I promised him like a day ago. I was like, I'll be right over and I just never came back. Pablo's giving out about my prices on amphetamine. I put it up by one dollar. He's pissed. Look, Pablo, you have a problem, all right? I'm not enabling you anymore. He's swapping to weed now. It's more affordable. Christ almighty, dude. It's like 4 a.m. He turned down that music. I don't know who lives there, but I think it might be the final boss. That music just follows him around. Yeah, it's definitely the final boss in there. That is such menacing music. Oh my God. I was like, who's that waiting for me? I knew it was fucking Pablo just standing there at some of my apartment. He's getting closer and closer every time. Okay, I've got everything packaged in nice little bundles. Where's Pablo? He's hanging out behind my apartment now, isn't he? Yeah, there he is. Jesus Christ, you're scary. I do respect that you wear high-visit night, though. That is a responsible drug user. He's like, I may use 15 grams of amphetamine a day, but I gotta wear my high-vis. I'm not foolish. Oh yeah, that's not my apartment. I think I might have been using some of my old product and getting a bit confused. God, Mike, I really is an entrepreneur. He's just working all hours of the day and night. You gotta admire that. In fact, he's my hero. Oh my God, Pablo moving on to speed now. He's getting sick of all the other stuff. This has all been in like one day. He's really escalating. They all want speed now. I don't sell speed. Not good any order. What do you want, Dominic? Ganja. Okay, I can do that for you. God, I'm getting used to all the lingo now. I'm really, really fitting in for once in my life. I finally feel like I belong. How do I have no money? I don't understand. Do I need to like lodge money? Because I swear I'm holding onto loads of it. Here's some more money. I can't use it apparently, so it doesn't really matter. I don't know if this is a good idea, by the way. I was doing these transactions right on your porch, especially when I led the cops straight here just yesterday. Okay, I just gave them $190. How the hell am I supposed to make money out of this? Just agreeing to everyone that I'll sell to them when I do not have enough stock. I'm going to disappoint some people. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Run. Run, run, run. Run. Quick. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Oh, God. Quick. Hide everything here. I'm panicking. Run. I wasn't built for this life. I'm following the footpath. Should I go run through an alley or something? This doesn't seem like the best strategy. They sound like they're all around me. Do the old loop-de-loop. For facts sake, they stunned me. Oh, the sky looks pretty tonight. Okay, I lost all the drugs I was holding, but not to worry. I can go get the dead drop anyway, can't I? Facts sake. I've ruined myself now. I lost everything. Are you serious? You're targeting me now at this stage. I don't even have anything, and I'm going to run. I hate you guys. Pablo, cover for me. I bet he won't. He's not loyal. I'm getting away, though. At one time, I didn't need to. I think I've lost them. Wait, Pablo, you're here too? Jesus, you are everywhere. Hi, you the dealer? You saw me like seven times yesterday. Those drugs are causing him short-term memory loss. All right, great. I've made myself a fugitive for no goddamn reason. Why is my screen shaking? I think my guy's nervous after getting almost caught again. All right, I'll go mix this up, and then we'll get at least some of our money back. Oh, oh, shit. Just back up, back up, back up. I don't need that trouble. The visors must be all fucked up, because I just looked right at them. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Oh, shit. Oh, I'm so fucked. Wait, I can't jump over the plants? Feck off. Hop the wall. No, for facts sake. Like I still hop in the wall even though he's stunned. All right, the cops win. I'm out of the drug business. It's no good for me. Even Jim Pickens is eyeing me there. He knows. I could tie me anyway, because the game's feckin' frozen. It just respawned me where I was standing. I guess me jumping the wall the same time you're getting stunned wasn't good for the game. All right, we'll say that that stun killed him. What a happy ending. The drugs are finally off the street. I love happy endings. But I hope you enjoyed me being your dealer. I'll do it any time, honestly. Any time you need me, just give me a call. I know I had a great time. It was fantastic dealing with you. And I really hope to deal with you again soon. I hope you come back tomorrow for the next video. And yeah, I just appreciate you watching a lot. And that's about it. Bye for now.