 Lux presents Hollywood radio theater brings you Helen Hayes and Otto Krueger in to the ladies ladies and gentlemen your producer mr. Cecil V. DeMille greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen special greeting tonight to the ladies and even more especially to one lady the first lady of the American theater miss Helen Hayes upon her dainty shoulders she wears the mantle of dramatic greatness and in her slim hand she holds the key to all our hearts we asked her to do the play to the ladies because it was one of her biggest Broadway hits when she arrived at our stage door for the first rehearsal we had Otto Krueger here to greet her Otto was a leading man in the New York production and he plays his original role tonight to the ladies is a romantic comedy written by two of the country's favorite playwrights George S. Kaufman and Mark Connelly perhaps I should say it's a realistic comedy because the two men who wrote it have proved to all men that this is a woman's world naturally we dedicate our play to the ladies and it's brought to you by Lux Flakes a product that's dedicated to the ladies Lux Flakes works from son to son to see that woman's work gets done and now for an advanced course in romance and diplomacy we raise the curtain and act one of to the ladies starring Helen Hayes as Elsie and Otto Krueger as Leonard punctuality plus neatness plus honest endeavor equals success this is the golden rule of the Kincaid piano company the keynote we might say of its prosperity it's 9 a.m. on the dot a hundred minor clerks arriving in the nick of time with bright and shining faces go quickly to their desks dust off their mottos and begin the day's routine but now in the midst of all this honest endeavor comes a shrill voice a blaze has broken out in the filing room in an instant the well organized force has formed a paper cup brigade at the water cooler the fire engines are summoned and the conflagrations quickly reduced to a small pile of ashes okay boys that's enough chief chief is everything all right all under control mr. King came fine fine that's nice work chief that holds up boys ladies and gentlemen the excitement is over and the fire is out before going back to our desks to continue with the day's work I should like to know which one of you called the fire department mr. Kincaid yes I think I think it was mr. Beebe mr. Beebe mr. Beebe where are you here I'm right here mr. Beebe is this true did you take it upon yourself to summon the fire engines well yes sir I did you see I was afraid that's enough ladies and gentlemen you've often heard me speak of initiative you have just witnessed a splendid example of it in the quick-witted action of mr. Leonard Beebe mr. Beebe my congratulations oh oh thank you mr. Beebe I should like to see you in my office please at 10 25 yes sir I'll be there yes what do you say then well then he said mr. Beebe you're married of course and I said yes mr. Kincaid I'm married to the sweetest little woman in the world oh Leonard gone well then he said Beebe the Mrs. and I are driving down to the country Saturday afternoon and perhaps we'll drop off and say hello to you it's your place they're coming here yeah Saturday afternoon three o'clock you know what that means don't you I'll be chief clerk inside of a month now Leonard you don't know that you will at all well I know the job's vacant don't I and then that's that's the way it always begins first he and Mrs. Kincaid pay your visit and then you get invited at the annual banquet and then you get promoted I hope so but we mustn't we mustn't count on it now why not don't you think I can handle a job oh of course darling all you need is a chance yes certainly yeah if I'm the right man I'll make my own chance you remember that piece in the magazine last month where will you be 10 years from now are you taking advantage of your opportunity you know I read it to you that one well anyway when he sent for me and he said all those nice things but that's what I got my work in you see I told him we had a Kincaid piano and that you played it all the time you did yeah I can't get over how smart you are are you sure you did it just the way I suggested about telling you huh you you already gave me no more than the germ you only said if I ever did get a chance to speak to Mr. I know it was you you got to take care of me Leonard I will all right I'll make a lot of money to you just watch me I know you will you know Leonard I believe in you I know what a brilliant mind you've got and I know what you can do well he's coming out sure to invite me to the banquet and you just watch Leonard what I was just thinking we must do an awful lot of money well not an awful lot we're over some did you ever pay off the money we borrowed on the piano huh what the piano oh no not quite you're not behind on it I'm not just about a week I'll take care of it Monday it's all that terrible grapefruit farm that's what you always need money for if only I hadn't bought it not bought the grapefruit farm I'll bet you when it's bringing us in $350 a week you won't say that but way off in Florida and how do you know it will bring in anything haven't they always I showed you what it said about it in the magazine keep a grapefruit farm for four years and it will keep you for life well we've had it for two years already it did take an awful lot of money though and we need so many things Elsie please don't worry about it someday I'm gonna give you everything you want and I've got a feeling that that someday starts this Saturday afternoon here here are the cigars I bought three just as you said hey 40 cents a piece that terribly expensive aren't they say you know Elsie I think you're wrong about not giving them something to eat yeah they are there they judge us by what we do but not buy a lot of food no Leonard all right listen well what about that bottle of champagne then the Christmas present from Uncle Fred well what's the difference you we never get a better chance to use it I'll put it on ice where is it in the whole closet on the top shelf you'll have to use a chair be careful in it famous man and there's cigars last Sunday did you read it in the world magazine no Leonard all right don't don't don't don't don't get excited I'll take it easy here but put this on the ice will you open the door dear all right all right now easy does it relax good afternoon mr. hello Chester well hi Leonard what's the matter oh I thought you were no never mind hello Elsie how are you well I'm fine Chester Leonard push that chair back where belongs well cleaning up for the great visit a do you know sure everybody in the office knew what when I left said the boss had his eye on land and was coming out to invite him to the annual banquet funny how things get around yes ain't it though say Elsie don't you think you'd better put that on ice I'm going now dear ah something to drink yes Chester well fine well Leonard I guess you're doing all right eh you mean with the boss yeah say how did you ever get him to come out here well I'll tell you if you don't let it go any further it was just a bit of psychology with me yeah yeah you know how he feels about all his employees having pianos don't I look at the sign all day long a concave piano is the heart of the home yeah well I told him we had one see that was pretty small sure I just sized him up that's all character reading you remember that ad I showed you if a man has a long nose and a high forehead and where's that magazine I'll show you what I mean hey I was this the one here I'll look at a yeah yeah that's it all our glasses a Elsie we're expecting Mr. and Mrs. Kincaid Chester I know right away well here's that character reading Adlin is where he all right here Leonard I wish you wouldn't pay so much attention to those advertisements oh is that so well that's where I learned about the grapefruit farm yes I know well a lot of fellows who got good tips out of here look here look at this Babson of Iowa made six hundred dollars the first month that's that popcorn machine you know Chris bats yeah McCormick of Michigan made five hundred and fifty dollars what McCormick what McCormick what Michigan what's his first name what's the difference what his first name is if he made all the money but did he make it well of course he made doesn't it say so right here and I suppose you think thousands of fellows don't make a lot of money out of these correspondence courses too don't you know that that those things are for the people who haven't got it in them who have to acquire it from the outside now you're different you had the ability it's just a case of giving it a chance to come out yeah well you may be right but I don't know it seems a shame to let all that easy money slip away that's all they get say say here's a book I'd like five hundred speeches for all occasions listen suppose in a gathering of distinguished and brilliant men and women the host of the occasion suddenly calls upon you to make a speech would you stammer and sit down or would you electrify one and all by your eloquence fairly swinging them off their feet by the magic of your words Watson's manual of speech making shows you how 500 sample addresses clip the coop today a friend of mine has one they're good yeah send three dollars for 30 days trial your money refunded you know we'll be kind of nice to have one of us but Leonard you you're never called on to make a speech I know it's only three dollars on you get Elsie they're here mr. missus can take all right darling I'll let them in Chester do you mind me mind what Chester don't you see oh you mean you want me to go oh sure thank you Chester you can go out by the kitchen okay so long when yeah yeah thanks oh Mrs. Kincaid I'm Mrs. Beebe come in please how do you do how do you do how do you do mr. Kincaid hello Beebe how are you my wife mr. Beebe how do you do how do you do sit down Mrs. Kincaid oh let me take your rat Mrs. Kincaid oh yeah excuse me sure well house business oh fair fair that's too bad huh I mean I know it's too bad I mean it isn't better than fair Leonard Leonard perhaps mr. Kincaid would like a cigar I'm a see oh yes cigar mr. Kincaid oh thank you huh giving it up for the present doctor's orders oh oh I see oh well how about a little champagne champagne fine fine I got it on ice I'll be right back mr. Kincaid you're from the south aren't you Mrs. Beebe yes I am mobile mobile is that so I wonder if you know the forest is in mobile Selena forest indeed I do she's charming don't you think yes I always enjoy the ring oh yeah Leonard seems to be having a little difficulty is everything all right Leonard sure sure fine the bottle was just slippery it's oh here it is I'll pour it dear oh very fine champagne Beebe yes we must lay in some more of this dear LC our stock is rather low Leonard such a joke you'll have to wait for Uncle Fred to send us more than it he gave it to us for Christmas mr. Kincaid well it's certainly very kind of you sorry we're having something better well to the ladies to the ladies guess you don't get much of this anymore I I mean except that banquets and dinners and places LC wouldn't you like to play something for mr. Kincaid on the piano Leonard I don't think oh please do well if you really want me to yes indeed we've been looking forward to it Leonard really overestimates my playing it's pretty average I noticed you had one of our pianos oh yeah if satisfaction does it yes sir oh yes indeed we couldn't afford to have one that had to be tuned all the time yeah that's the one else he yeah I like that one wait wait wait you hear this mr. Kincaid very nice very nice indeed what oh of course oh excuse me what what is it are you LH BB yes okay we're here for the piano what we're here for the piano get them rollers Jim oh no no no wait a minute wait this it's gonna all be fixed up I think yeah oh what would you please come inside with me a minute I'm I'm excuse me mr. Kincaid this way please well I'm Mrs. Kincaid do you mind I'll be right back well of course well it's too bad isn't it you truckman you're speaking to me I am spill it what is the name of your company Maca boy express I don't mean that you were sent here by a loan company I imagine you imagine is good how much does mr. BB owe you he don't owe us anything he owes a loan company 22 bucks well here you are please give mr. baby a receipt sure it's worth that to find out these things yeah I'm sorry somehow mr. Kincaid I'm afraid there's been a little misunderstanding straightened out now the truckman will give you a receipt for $22 Mrs. BB mr. Kincaid you didn't I took the liberty yes you ready metal you're not going I'm afraid that we must oh wait please mr. Kincaid I know you think that Len has been extravagant but he hasn't I mean you think he's been spending money foolishly I'll admit I'm a little prejudiced I don't like to see any of our young men in debt he should think of his family is future but he has mr. Kincaid that's just what he has been thinking about he's been making an investment really buying a farm oh is that so a grapefruit farm in Florida oh he's been saving every penny he could just to pay off what we owed on it and then just a few days ago he had a chance to pay off all the balance at a big reduction that the company made him an offer to and and so we borrowed $400 on the piano but he did it to buy the farm with and after all that saving isn't it baby there's no reason why you should be called upon to explain but there is listen oh golly if I could only make you understand but of course you've never been poor either of you Mrs. Kincaid you understand well I mean really poor so that a few dollars actually mattered and and you had to be awfully careful what you did with them so that you had to plan weeks ahead so much for each little thing and then if something came up that you hadn't counted on and that just had to be paid well that meant that you had to do without something that you almost had to have to live well you see we've done that ever since we're married but we don't mind being poor you know but then when it looks as if you've almost helped each other out of it and the chance come I could only make you understand don't worry my dear it'll be all right well for us I'm sorry about the interrupt hello my baby you're ready Moodle yes oh John I forgot my bag you what I said I forgot my bag oh yes here it is Mrs. Kincaid thank you well John yes dear in a minute hmm oh baby yes sir I forgot to mention that we'll expect you at the annual banquet of the personnel in the 18th we we like to have one or two of you younger fellows present you know why yes well that's fine I intended mentioning it earlier but I forgot we want you to come to Mrs. baby thank you I'd be delighted by the way baby you'll be expected to say a few words just anything that strikes you sure what'll I speak about or anything at all of a business nature well good day Mrs. baby good day good day Mrs. Kincaid goodbye my dear I hope we can meet again sometime I hope so goodbye goodbye good day good day good man you got it yeah what what what what happened you heard oh I know but the piano we've Mr. Kincaid paid it he did man do you realize what happened you're going to the banquet yeah well sure I told you was coming didn't I learn it huh you've got to make a speech oh yeah oh I forgot about that I know I know the book that 500 speeches for all occasions you bet your life here's the coupon I'll give me a pencil quick kindly send manual of speech making signed Leonard baby mr. DeMille brings us act two of two the ladies starring Helen Hayes and Otto Krueger during this short intermission we're going to bring you a study in contrasts the story of two girls here's popular Polly she's dainty and jolly as bright and as gay as a lark her phones always ringing a date book is brimming and she's singing from dawn until dark she sits and she watches the clock life's passing her by and she doesn't know why she's the loneliest girl on the block now there you have two girls equally pretty yet one is popular the other left out of things why do things like that happen sometimes maybe we can answer that best by looking at popular Polly for a moment from the crown of her head to the tip of her toes she's neat as a pin and as sweet as a rose that's one great secret of popularity mr. Ruick a lovely flower like daintiness if a girl is even the least bit careless about the things she wears she may offend people that's why the truly dainty girl luxes under things after every wearing blouses dresses and accessories often to remove every trace of perspiration new quick Lux is so easy to use it certainly is why millions of women are enthusiastic about new quick Lux for one thing it's so fast in water as cool as your hand it dissolves three times as fast as any of ten other leading soaps tested you'll find it goes further to gives more suds ounce for ounce even in hard water than these other soaps and of course new quick Lux is safe for everything safe in water alone yet it cost you no more get the generous large box of new quick Lux flakes tomorrow in the same familiar package use it for your stockings under things and your pretty summer dresses to avoid offending to help your things stay new looking longer and now our producer mr. DeMille act two of to the ladies starring Helen Hayes as Elsie and Otto Kruger as Leonard the night of the great banquet approaches rapidly in the office Leonard works at fever pitch the chief clerkship almost within his grasp but now a cloud appears on the sunny horizon in the person of one Thomas Wood Baker a young ambitious fellow worker mr. Baker wears a supercilious smile as he stops one morning at Leonard's desk good morning oh hello Baker I just wanted to congratulate you baby I hear you're going to the banquet Wednesday night that's right thanks a lot Baker well I'll be seeing you there I guess you're sure the boss invited me too oh I see you are going to make a speech yeah I am so am I well may the best man win a baby so long see you Wednesday yeah see you Wednesday honored president mr. Toastmaster ladies and gentlemen I am feeling at this moment exactly like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner what are you doing I'm practicing my speech don't you think you ought to be getting dressed yeah on a minute ladies ladies and gentlemen I am I am feeling at this minute exactly like this seasick passenger on the ocean liner who was asked by a fellow passenger who was amused by his illness are you afraid you are going to die no said the sick man I'm afraid I'm not going to as an orator I am non-est however I put the studs in for you and your suits laid out on the bed all right thanks darling that'll give me more time to rehearse the speech now you're not putting anything more in it are you dear I mean it sounded just the right length to me you still don't like it do you well I think it's wonderful for what it is but I still believe you could have written a better one yourself better than one written by experts well you could have made it less like a regular speech you know more like the way people talk well people don't go to a banquet to hear people talk just the way they talk to you they could hear that at home of course I don't know much about banquet all right well I can tell you a regular speeches and that's the thing and at a business dinner oh well after all a man knows best about business dinners of course I'm glad you're going but I'm still on you mean you'd rather I wouldn't go let me know I want you to go only as long as the other men's wives are going but look I got a chance to be chief clerk of the department if I do this thing right I can't seem to make you understand why Leonard I do understand and I won't discourage your stand in your way anymore I'll just remember that you're my champion and that you're doing it for both of us well then I don't know what I do without you and I do so want you to win tonight just think of it you've only that man Baker to beat and I'm sure his speech can't be half as good as yours well you're ready for what dear would they hear it of course oh again well gee you want to help me don't you gee with of course dear of course I'm ready well here you hold the notes now sit over there go on all right I'm honored president mr. toastmaster ladies and gentlemen I am feeling at this minute exactly like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner who was I wouldn't do that and what I wouldn't hold your stomach like that as if you were seasick to that's on a gesture I know darling but you know it's an after dinner speech all right exactly like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner who was asked by a fellow passenger was amused at his illness are you afraid you're going to die no said the sick man I'm afraid I'm not going to and then I wait while they laugh yes that's good huh Leonard you know I thought if you could think of one of your own maybe oh so how about the one about the old maid in the hotel clinic you know when the old maid comes in and she said I guess the other ones all right man I'd never know what did you stop me for all right here I go now as an orator I am non-est however I know what it is I just thinking that that non-est business that's pretty good huh I mean it's a sort of a thing that a man without any background would never get you better hurry dear yeah however I have a slight advantage on the man in the story and that I can make my remarks brief tonight there's a pause there I wouldn't make it too long the book says so all right yeah all right go ahead all right tonight is a big night to me in every way Leonard what do you think you ought to hit the table like that when you say that Elsie please the book says that when I'm sorry dear go on oh god I'll answer it dear you go on with your practice yeah tonight is a big night for me and I'll speak very proud and I thank you very much indeed hello Chester hi Leonard I've got to start getting dressed now do hurry dear okay say chess you didn't see the evening paper outside did you know why I just thought there might be a list of the guests in it I am feeling it this minute exactly like the seasick yeah what's the matter land something you you're eight no that's my speed oh like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner who was asked by a fellow passenger are you afraid you are going to die no said the sick man I'm afraid I'm going to live are you pulling that one what's the matter with it it's corny what do you mean okay okay take it easy oh Leonard you've got to get ready yeah just second Elsie of course that newspaper would be late tonight oh listen if you want a paper so bad I'll go out and get one for you oh sure I'll be back in two minutes thanks now Leonard you can get dressed while he's gone I'll call for a taxi okay Elsie Elsie I'm getting sort of nervous Leonard huh well there's nothing to be nervous about you know your speech very well and besides I'm right there beside you and Leonard what if you don't get it you won't worry will you I'll love you just the same always I will you too well and if something does go wrong and you don't get it well we'll get down to Florida and make a lot of money that's a paper I gotta see what it says Leonard let me look for it while you get dressed well you know here it is here it is right under the advertisement John Kincaid's son's 97th anniversary among most present Mr. and Mrs. Mr. and Mrs. George mr. and Mrs. Leonard Hamilton baby there you are mr. and Mrs. Leonard Hamilton baby what do you think of that I'm proud of you we all get a lot of copies of this oh Elsie well what's the matter Leonard it's a grapefruit a grapefruit it's no good listen public loses 10 million in land swindle worthless farms sold through advertisement as fertile soil promoters arrested oh I'll give me that Francis D. Stevens that was the man's name wasn't it yeah oh darling she's worthless the thing we were counting on Leonard Leonard listen you know I love you and believe in you now look Leonard this thing doesn't matter when you've had your promotion and you're making a lot of money well you won't even think anything about it of course it's a disappointment at first but everybody has those I don't care who it is and no matter what happens we have each other Leonard take me in your arms that's right now kiss me and remember that no matter what happens tonight whether you win or lose it makes no real difference to me of course you will go ahead darling I feel exactly like the seasick passenger on the ocean liner the seasick passenger on the ocean liner who Elsie what do you know something I do feel like that passenger particularly those who have been with us for some years are to be recognized every man who's been with the company five years or more will be entitled to wear a button silver button which is to be known as the Kincage service button with one gold stripe for each five years of service the expense of the buttons will of course be born entirely by the company ladies and gentlemen I thank you thank you ladies and gentlemen as most of you know it is the custom of each of our organization dinners to invite new blood to be pressed tonight we have two new junior members back man did you speak now I don't think so Baker's first by right of seniority oh you see he joined the company a week before I did I wonder what kind of a speech he's going to make oh don't you worry darling yours will be better sure well it's gotta be the company and so I take great pleasure in presenting mr. Thomas Wood Baker chef Baker honored president mr. Toastmaster ladies and gentlemen and guests I am feeling at this minute exactly like the sea sick passenger who was asked by a fellow passenger who was amused at his illness are you afraid you're going to die no said the sick man I am afraid I am not going to see as an orator I am not going to do that's my speech you must have used the same book I used I can't think of anything my mind's a blank and put yourself together you've got to say something no I want to go home no no we sneak out the back door Elsie please no we're not going to leave you now you can't leave here Elsie I'm sunk I'm sunk in the team work shown in past years it will grow and flour in strength and achievement I feel very humble and very proud and I thank you very much indeed thank you Mr. Thomas Wood Baker and now I'm going to ask the second member of the younger generation to say a few words a young man of great promise ladies and gentlemen I take pleasure in introducing Mr. Leonard Hamilton Beebe Hi's for you tonight. Just about the middle of the afternoon, this very orangitis, he does it once in a while. And it was all he could do to speak above a whisper. He was feeling a little better when he got here, but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to be heard if he spoke himself. And so he gave me the list of what he was going to say. Didn't you, dear? Yeah. Yeah, dear, I did it. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'll deliver Mr. Pepe's speech just the way he was going to deliver it. Do you mind that what he was going to talk about was into the business world after having been gone for a long time. A spirit we've got to recognize and hold on to. I mean, I mean, he means that after a good many years of dilly-dallying and theorizing about how to get a little humanity into business, today we're actually just going ahead and getting it there instead. A body in the world has written a book, it'll show you how to strengthen character by mathematics or get a personality by mail or make friendships according to science. Good many people have apparently been trying to find human nature all laid out and classified in textbooks and on maps. Now, Mr. Beebe knows he's pretty young, but he's been able to observe that these theories are wrong. He's been able to observe that a businessman, a big businessman like Mr. Kincaid, can be just as simple and human in the way he runs his business and selects his employees as anybody and he doesn't need to lose anything by it. The trouble with most businessmen today is that they're too busy looking for some kind of a machine that'll attend to business for them. Now, John Kincaid has shown you how to get away from all that. He's shown you that there are still such things as understanding in business and that simple, maybe old-fashioned ways of doing things are just as efficient and maybe a little more so than all your psychology and your applied, what do you call it, and things like that. Now, why don't you follow this example? Go in for business, go in for it all you want to, but for heaven's sakes, try to be a little bit human. That's about what you want me to say, wasn't it, dear? Approximately, yes. After a short intermission, Mr. DeMille presents Helen Hayes and Otto Kruger in the third act of Two The Ladies. While we're waiting, here's more news about the six beautiful Allure teaspoons which the makers of Lux Flakes are offering you right now in cooperation with the International Silver Company, the world's largest silversmiths. It's such a magnificent bargain, only 50 cents and the top from a large-sized box of Lux for all six spoons. And they're the famous original Roger Silverplate. Everyone who sees this silver is delighted with it. For example, here is what Mrs. Marion Beaver of Dallas, Texas writes. The Allure design is absolutely lovely, and I know the quality of original Roger Silverplate is just about tops. I showed my spoons to some friends this afternoon, and now they're sending for sets, too. And this is what a young bride writes. We're both delighted with the beautiful Allure teaspoons. We can't afford to spend much on a set of silver, but the Allure pattern is such a wonderful bargain. We're planning to complete the set from the list which came with the spoons. Remember, this design is exclusive with us. You can't buy it at any store. So send for your six teaspoons now while the offer lasts. Buy the thrifty big box of Lux Flakes tomorrow. Tear off the top and mail it with 50 cents in coin. Please don't send stamps. Send your name and address to Lux. Meridan, that's M-E-R-I-D-E-N. Lux Meridan Connecticut. You'll receive your six teaspoons promptly together with a complete list of all the other pieces available in the Allure pattern. This list includes the smart new Vianth knife and fork with shorter blades and prongs and longer handles, which are so tremendously popular right now. They're so beautiful. I know you'll want to send for them, too. I know you how. So send for your six Allure teaspoons tomorrow. Mail the large box top with your name and address and 50 cents in coin to Lux. Meridan, M-E-R-I-D-E-N. Lux Meridan Connecticut. This offer is good only in the United States. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. It arises on the third act of To the Ladies. The ladies pass slowly as Leonard and Elsie wait anxiously to hear the results of the banquet speech. But Mr. Kincaid, the sphinx of the piano business, is silent. Then at last, Leonard is summoned to Mr. Kincaid's office. That evening he rushes home to Elsie, a slightly dazed but very happy man. Elsie, I've got it. I've got it. Leonard, what? The job, I got it. I got Mr. Kincaid's office all afternoon. Darling, you mean you're the chief clerk? No, no, I'm Kincaid's assistant. What are you saying, dear? Yeah, I'm trying to tell you. I'm Mr. Kincaid's secretary. I got a big business office right outside here. Gee, I'm an executive. An executive? Oh, Leonard. Oh, Elsie, I can't believe it yet. Gee, do you think that I did this all on my own? I did, too, didn't I, huh? You certainly did. Oh, darling, I'm so proud of you. M-E-R-I-D-E-N. M-E-R-I-D-E-N. Ah, yes, now take this, please. Mr. Tui now has 12 girls in the mailing department but believes with me that men not only could do the work better but much more quickly than women. Uh, paragraph there. And as you know, we believe, as a general rule, women are not so capable as men in business. Sign L-H, baby. Uh, now let's see. Uh, that's all. Yes, sir. Oh, Ms. Fletcher. Yes, sir. Uh, you were going to remind me that I have a conference at 3 o'clock. Yes, sir. I will. Well, uh, I'll remind you of it again. Come in. Oh, come in, Elsie. Hello, Leonard. I'll be with you in a minute, dear. Yes, dear. Just take a seat there. Oh, Leonard, it's awfully nice. Oh, just an office. Just an office. Uh, Ms. Fletcher, I'll have some more dictation for you later. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Ms. Fletcher is my secretary. Leonard, it's all just wonderful. You like it? You look too cute for anything. Huh? Oh, Leonard, I knew you'd do it, and you have. Well, I didn't do it all, and you helped. Oh, I did not. Oh, yes, you did. You helped a lot. Oh, Leonard. I couldn't have done it without you. Oh, you could too. I couldn't. Well, let's say we just, we did it together, huh? Together. Yeah, just you and I. And it will always be partners together and... Help each other. And you'll go on up and up. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be a partner someday. Oh, hello, Elsie. Hello, Chester. Are you in this office too? Isn't that nice? He isn't in here. I lend that new efficiency fellow. What's his name? Mr. Bensley? Yes, Bensley. Well, he wants everybody to fill out another one of these slips. Home address, telephone number, and favorite sport, if any. All right. Just leave it on the desk there. Now, let me see. Elsie, it's going to be about 10 minutes before I can go to lunch. Would you mind waiting downstairs for me? No, of course not, dear. Oh, I really didn't think you'd be so early, dear. Oh, it's all right, really. I'll see you downstairs, Leonard. All right, dear. Say, where's Miss Fletcher? I've got to give her one of these. She'll be right back. Hiya, Baker. Hello. Is Mr. Kincaid in? What? Yes, Mr. Kincaid in. What do you want to see him about? Is he in? You've got to tell me your business. Who said so? I did. See that light? He's in conference. It's about the new Rio de Janeiro representative, and it's important. So you can just wait. Listen, I want to see the boss. You can't order me around like a... No, just a minute, Baker. Who do you think you are, anyway? You think you can get away with murder all because you wrote a speech? And even then, you had to have your wife say it for you. Oh, yeah, that's your story. If you ask me, it wasn't much of a speech, either. Is that so? I think it was rotten. Hey, now listen here, Baker. Jesse, you keep out of this. And let him say it was a bum speech. I will not. Now listen, Baker. Jesse, you don't know what you're talking about. I thought it was good. What do you know about that? You didn't even hear it. Is that so? Well, I heard him rehearsing it. No, you didn't. I never made that speech. You never heard me at all. I did so. You did not. I did so. I remember it myself about the seasick passenger, that one you got out of the book. What, seasick passenger? I tell you, he doesn't know what he's talking about. I threw the speech away. What else did he say? Something about how he was non-est as a speech-maker? Do you know, John? Well, he did say what are you trying to do? I didn't say anything of the kind that was all thrown away. And if you say it wasn't a... Oh, I'm on. You had to have your wife say it. Wetten got promoted on something his wife did. I tell you, it's a lie. I never was going to make that speech. I wrote a whole new one. You did not. You were going to make my speech, only I made it first. And your wife had to save you. Laryngitis. I certainly... That's why I'm on the... May I inquire what this is all about? Oh, Mr. Kincaid. Well, Mr. Kincaid, he wanted to... I'll tell you, Mr. Kincaid, he never wrote that speech his wife made at the banquet. The one you promoted him for. He didn't have a thing to do with it. He was unable to make one himself, so he got his wife to do it for him. You may go, Baker. Please. Huh? Me? Oh, sure. I'll take it. Oh, I'll take it myself. Hello? Well, you mean about the real appointment? No, I haven't made up my mind yet. Maybe, Mr. Fernandez, I'll let you know. BB? Yes, sir. I hope, of course, that Mr. Baker was mistaken. But I shall expect you to tell me the truth. You did write the speech that Mrs. BB delivered at the dinner? Didn't you? BB, this is a very serious matter. Am I to understand that you have been deceiving us? Well, it wasn't exactly that way. You see, all it came up was... Did you or did you not write that speech? No, sir. Your wife did it all? Yes. BB, this is regrettable, but my duty is clear. From the beginning, it was that little speech. Perhaps I should say the spirit of fellowship behind it that interested me. But my organization must be made up of men of initiative. And for one of my personal staff to be, in any sense, molded or controlled by his wife. I can't look upon that with much favor. Oh, honestly, Mr. K. Beginning tomorrow, you will resume your former position at the old salary. Can we go to lunch now, dear? Elsie, I came down to tell you... Leonard, what's the matter with you? Nothing that you can help. Leonard. I'm not his secretary any longer. I'm going back to the old job. What? Oh, Mr. Kincaid, he found out about... You know the speech? Oh, Leonard. Oh, Leonard. Oh, Elsie. Don't you care, dear? You know I'm standing beside you, don't you? Yes. You're standing beside a clerk. Kincaid was right. That's all I am. Even if I had gone right up the ladder, everybody thought I was a big success. I know they were all being fooled. Underneath it all, I'd still be just an ordinary, everyday clerk. Leonard, you mustn't say that. I'm sure you'll get that job back again. Now, you're not to worry. We're not worried. We are when he just... No, no. Let me talk to Mr. Kincaid. Maybe he'll change his mind. Oh, Elsie, you mustn't... You know, he might. You can't lose anything by it. Now, you wait right here while I go... Oh, no, no. Elsie, please. Wait. Mr. Kincaid, please listen to me. You've demoted, Leonard, because I... Well, because I helped him a little bit. Mrs. Beebe, my experience has shown that the man who would be likely to require assistance such as you gave your husband is not the kind of man whom it is wise to advance to an executive position. But if a wife sees a chance to help a husband, don't you think he'd want her to do it? Well, that depends. Now, suppose Mrs. Kincaid had a chance to help you in business. I'm just using this as an example, you know. But suppose she was able to do something real for you, accidentally. Wouldn't you, Leonard? Mrs. Beebe, it is one of my characteristics to act promptly and with decision. Now, will you pardon me? Mr. Kincaid, if... Hello, dear. Oh, uh, Merkel, come in. Oh, Mrs. Beebe, how do you do? How do you do? Mr. Kincaid. Would you mind repeating that to Mrs. Kincaid, what you've just been saying to me? What's that? I'm afraid I have some important work that can't be... Just a second, John. What is it, Mrs. Beebe? Mr. Kincaid thinks that if a husband is helped in business by his wife, that he won't ever amount to anything. What? He's made Leonard a clerk again on account of the speech. Really? Merkel, I can't stay here and listen to all of you. Oh, pardon me. How are you, Mrs. Kincaid? How do you do, Mr. Henry G? Mr. Kincaid, there's a man here from the piano world. Have you made up your mind yet about the Rio appointment? Well, um, I haven't quite. If you'll ask him to wait ten minutes. I'm afraid it'll be too late. Oh, while I think of it, dear, I forgot to order that book I wanted. Will you do it? Why, uh, certainly, my dear. Henry G, I guess there's no use waiting any further. We'll go ahead with the appointment of Mr. Fernandez. Fine. I'll see you everything. Well, I'm glad that's off my mind. Now, John, to get back to Mr. Beebe, you've demoted him because you've learned it was Mrs. Beebe's speech. I certainly have. Have you known it all the time? In a way, yes. Oh, uh, Myrtle, will you step into the other office with me? There are several things I'd like to talk over. You mean about the appointment of Mr. Fernandez? Myrtle! It's all right, dear. Mrs. Beebe understands. How's that? You see, I've known about the Rio appointment all along. Is that, is that so? Yes, so that when Mrs. Kincaid said she'd forgotten a book, I knew that Mr. Fernandez was, was all right. Just as when she forgot her bag at our house and you invited Leonard to the banquet, remember? I thought perhaps it was a signal then. Well, uh, this is all quite beside the point. I should say, John, that it was much to the point. Oh, I didn't mean to let on that I knew Mr. Kincaid. I hoped I could get you to reinstate Leonard without it. I don't see how this particularly alters the situation, Mrs. Beebe. It so happens that Mrs. Kincaid is, uh, rather a good judge of men and women. I sometimes use her judgment merely to supplement my own, you understand? But ours is a peculiar case. Oh, so's ours. Oh, Mr. Kincaid, if you only knew it, well, I nearly all the men you meet are just like you and Leonard. They don't let you know it, of course. And I suppose sometimes they don't even know it themselves. But somewhere in back there's somebody, a wife or somebody who's helping them all the time. Either giving them encouragement or perhaps doing real things like Mrs. Kincaid. Well, nearly every man that ever got any place has been married, and that just can't be a coincidence. Well, uh, what do you think of all this, Myrtle? Well, suppose we have Mr. Beebe come in. I'm sure things could be arranged. Very well. I'll ring for him. Thank you, John. Oh, I'm so grateful, Mrs. Kincaid. Just a minute. I'm not bound to abide by Mrs. Kincaid's decision. No, but you always do. On the contrary, I do not. I certainly do not, and in this case... In this case, dear, you will. Yes, dear. Did you ring for me? Come in, Beebe. Yes, sir. Beebe, I have felt from the beginning that you were a valuable man. Huh? This, this was all just, uh, just a test. I have always intended that the position in here should be yours, permanently. Yes, sir, but I'm sure that I... Elsie... It's all right, dear. It's all right. Beebe, uh, suppose we step inside and talk it over? Yes, sir. But, well, there's something I want to say first. Yes, Leonard? Elsie, this was all you're doing, and I want Mr. Kincaid to know it. Well, I know it wasn't, Leonard. Yes, it was, but things are going to be different from now on. I'm going to make them different. Uh, if you'll help. But you may not need me. Oh, yes, I will. Always. Coming, Beebe. Yes, sir. Uh, I'll be late tonight, Elsie. All right, dear. Uh, Mrs. Beebe, I, uh... I hope that any information about, uh, things that you may have picked up won't go any further. No, indeed, of course not. Thank you. Unless... Yes, yes, I understand. Uh-huh. Oh, Myrtle, you darling, you were great. It was pretty easy, Elsie. Oh, but I've got to run along. Mrs. Fernandes is waiting for me. We've been shopping all morning. Some new clothes for Rio de Janeiro. You know, you were quite right about her, Elsie. You know, I thought you'd like her. Yes, I think Mr. Fernandes will be very successful down there. She is such an able woman. Won't you have lunch with us? Oh, I'm sorry. I can't today. I'm having lunch with Leonard. But I'll see you Tuesday, Myrtle, as usual. In just a moment, Mr. DeMille brings our stars back for their curtain calls. But first, listen. That's a warning, ladies, that this is the last time we can tell you about the great bargain offer we have for you. The six handsome allure teaspoons in original Roger Silver plate for only 50 cents and the top from a large box of luxe flakes. That's about nine cents a spoon, a value you run across once in a blue moon. It's too good to miss. So take down these directions now. First of all, buy a thrifty large-sized box of luxe tomorrow. At the same time, ask your dealer for the handy order blank, or just send your name and address on a piece of paper and the top from a large-sized box of luxe with 50 cents in coin, no stamps, please, to luxe, meriden, m-e-r-i-d-e-n, luxe, meriden, Connecticut. Every piece is so exquisite, you'll treasure it always. And remember, this silver is guaranteed original Roger Silver plate. In fact, a written guarantee comes with the silver, which says in part... Every piece of silverware bearing the name William Rogers Manufacturing Company is guaranteed to give satisfaction in family use and will be replaced without charge at any time it does not conform to this guarantee. Beauty, service, and a wonderful bargain. That's what you get in these spoons. A list of all the pieces available in the Exclusive Allure pattern comes with the spoons. Now you can get as many sets as you like, but for each set, send another 50 cents and another large box top with your name and address to luxe, meriden, that's m-e-r-i-d-e-n, luxe, meriden, Connecticut. Now don't put this off. Do it tomorrow. Sorry, this offer is good only in the United States. And now, Mr. DeMille is bringing our stars to the microphone. It's been two years, and that's much too long since Helen Hayes took our last curtain call in the Lux Radio Theatre. But all is forgiven as she returns now with Otto Kruger. Oh, thank you, Mr. DeMille. I enjoyed being here so much. You know, whenever we take a play on tour, the audience in each city seems like a group of old friends. It takes months to see them all, and yet here in the Lux Radio Theatre we meet them all in one night. Well, Helen, we all know how these audiences feel about you. But as for myself, it's been a great pleasure being with you in the play again. I hope your next reunion will be here, which reminds me that along toward the end of each theatrical season, there's one thing that everybody wants to know about Helen Hayes. CB, I'm going to take the words right out of your mouth. What are you going to do next season, Helen? I'm playing Shakespeare for the first time, Otto. The Theatre Guild's production of Twelfth Night in New York. We open in October, I mean. And we'll keep an eye open for another play that will bring you back here. Thank you, Mr. DeMille, and good night. Good night, CB. Good night. Good night. And a parting toast to the ladies. Tonight in the Lux Radio Theatre, we ring down the curtain on another season. And we're going to lift eight weeks out of the calendar for a breathing spell and prepare for another year of the finest plays and players in the land. Our footlights won't be dark long. They'll be up again brighter than ever on September 9th. But even for that short time, we're going to miss these Monday evenings. We're going to miss the excitement of the last dress rehearsal, of the callboys wrap on the dressing room door, his tense voice calling, five minutes, five minutes. Then the silent flash that says we're on the air. And the music at the applause. Applauds that echoes your applause in millions of homes. Most of all, we're going to miss you. And we sincerely hope that you'll miss us. During this past season, you've been a generous and, and I hope a happy audience. The kind that actors love to play to. And we'll keep on working for the approval you expressed to us in your letters and by your loyalty to our product, Lux Flakes and Lux Toilet Soap. The millions of you who sit in front every Monday night, row after row from Hollywood to the farthest corners of America, have made this a truly national theater. A theater of the people. For the people. And, and actually by the people. For you are the real producers of all our plays. Now our country is passing through times that call for serious thought. More than ever, the American people need unity. Need their traditional unity of a single family. And I believe this national theater is living proof that unity is an American characteristic. Millions of people sharing the same program, expressing the same likes and dislikes. During the past six years, the Lux Radio Theater has presented almost 300 plays that combined the efforts of 6,367 actors and actresses and a permanent backstage staff of more than 30 people. And we're proud of the enthusiastic support you've given us by your purchase of Lux Flakes and Lux Toilet Soap. Long before we return to the air in September, we'll be busy making plans for what we firmly believe will be the best season that we've ever had. The seventh season in this theater. To all our listeners, wherever you may be, our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes and Lux Toilet Soap, join me in wishing you a happy summer. And until September 9th, this is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night and goodbye to you from Hollywood. Taking tonight's play where Arthur Q. Bryan is Kincaid, Edward Marr is Chester, Gloria Holden is Mrs. Kincaid, Tristram Coffin is Baker, Lou Merrill is Toastmaster, Stanley Farrar and Wally Mayer as Truckman and Anne Tobin as Miss Fletcher. And here's news about two new radio programs from our sponsor, which go on the air next Wednesday evening, a solid hour of fun over the Columbia Network. The first half hour will be the air debut of Meet Mr. Meek, the second half hour, Uncle Jim's Question B. Now, if you're thinking about vacations, don't miss the first Mr. Meek program. It's an hilarious story of his own vacation which his domineering wife, Agatha, and his worthless brother-in-law, Louie, tried to plan for him. So meet Mr. Meek and stay tuned in for the sensational Uncle Jim's Question B next Wednesday evening. See your local paper or radio magazine for time and stations. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Ruick. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.